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bookyeom · 12 days

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pairing: Joshua x reader word count: 3.1k warnings: kissing, a swear or two, bad jokes

Author’s Note: this fic is part of the Thirteen Valentines event, but can be read as a standalone! also, i would suggest listening to the song listed below to get a feel for the vibe of the fic, but it’s not necessary.

This one is based semi in reality (the laughs bit). Can you even believe?

shortcut to heaven by lullaboy

oh my god, what a blessing out of ten, you’re eleven

you make it worth all of the waiting somebody patient, somebody kind

10:54pm.

You technically shouldn’t be cleaning up before the doors officially close at 11:00, but it’s been a slow night, so you figure it can’t hurt. You’re sweeping the farthest corner of the cafe when you hear a new song start to play over the speakers, and you let out a cheer.

“You’re welcome!” You can hear your coworker shout from his spot behind the counter, where he’s preemptively cleaning the espresso machine.

“You rock,” comes your returning yell.

You love the nights you get to close with Joshua. He wants to get out of there just as quickly as you do, so he’ll break the rules a little and help you clean early when there’s no customers. Plus, he has great taste in music. Since you work the same closing shift three nights a week, the two of you usually split the AUX, but you wouldn’t really mind if he controlled the sound for the entire eight hours.

The song that’s just begun to play is a new favourite of yours that you’d sent him over text last week, and it makes you feel all sorts of giddy that he remembered and played it over the speaker for you.

You hear the espresso machine begin its loud cleaning cycle, and you’re impressed that Joshua had the guts to switch it off completely already. It’s 10:58 now, but if your boss knew, he’d have a fit. You finish sweeping, bringing the broom and dustpan back to the corner it rests in by the counter, and then you jog over to the front door. You turn the lock and flip the sign to CLOSED with a dramatic flourish, and when you turn back, you meet Joshua’s eyes. He’s laughing, and you shoot him a grin.

“Risky,” is all he says, and you snort. You’re about to tease him back when the landline phone for the cafe rings, and Joshua easily uses a free hand to hold it out for you. You make a face as you recognize the number, but you pick up regardless.

“Hello?”

Your boss’s voice rings out over the line, and you wince. You roll your eyes, putting on a show for Joshua, and you’re rewarded with another soft laugh as he shakes his head. You watch as he finishes wiping down the espresso machine, meticulously scrubbing the syrup shot cups and dumping out the grinds, as you listen to your boss drone on about something being dropped off in the morning. You agree to pass on the message for the girls opening the next day, stifling a sigh as your boss then rambles on about what needs to be done during the closing shift as if you haven’t been doing them for months now. He finally hangs up after you offer a polite laugh in return to one of his lame jokes, and you hand the phone back to Joshua with a grimace.

“What joke did he tell that time?”

You stretch your arms out over the counter dramatically, leaning forward to rest on them with a yawn. “How do you know he told me a joke?”

“Because he always does.” You pout as Joshua throws a cleaning cloth at you, and you force yourself back into an upright position. “And,” Joshua continues as he heads towards the door to the stockroom at the back, “that was your ‘you just told a joke that was absolutely not funny but I’m too nice to tell you that’ laugh.” He disappears around the corner, and it takes you a second to register what he’s just said to you.

Your what laugh?

You grab the cleaning spray from under the sink and head towards the tables in the cafe, settling into your usual closing routine with Joshua. As he restocks what’s necessary, you clean the tables and the washrooms, brows furrowing as you replay what Joshua said in your mind.

You’re distracted when he emerges from the back and turns the music up, and you finish up your closing list in no time.

Joshua waits as you lock up, and as you head to your cars, he listens diligently as you finish the story you were telling him.

“She’s here everyday and gets the same thing every time! I’m not trying to judge people’s coffee orders, but she orders a quadruple-shot Americano at 5pm. Is she okay?”

Joshua shrugs as he unlocks his car. He peers over the hood at you, lips pursed as though he’s thinking, and then he says, “I don’t know, but you’re right. A four-shot black Americano is definitely a sad drink. A Despresso, if you will.”

You let out the loudest groan known to man as he absolutely beams, proud of himself. You can’t help it — you burst into laughter.

“Horrible,” you manage, trying to roll your eyes, but you’re still giggling.

“Ah,” Joshua grins. “See? There’s the laugh you have when you actually find something funny.”

You’re taken by surprise again at the comment. His words make you flush a little, but you’re quick to respond. “No way. That’s impossible, see, because you’re not funny.”

Joshua gasps. “Rude,” he says, scandalized, and you laugh again, lifting your hand in a wave as you open your car door.

“Bye,” you say in response, grin still wide on your lips. He shakes his head, but he’s laughing, too, and you consider it mission accomplished. “See you on Friday, Shua.”

You’re having the worst day ever.

First, you hadn’t been able to sleep because of the wind and rain outside your window. When you’d finally stumbled out of bed at 11:00am, you remembered that you were out of milk which meant that you a) couldn’t have a bowl of your favourite comfort cereal, and b) you couldn’t have your morning coffee. When you managed to force yourself to get dressed and out the door to the cafe down the street, they’d been out of your favourite muffin and their espresso machine was being serviced. Last but not least, you’d forgotten to move your clothes from the washer to the dryer the night before, and the load you’d done had included your favourite work shirt — the new one all the employees had been given recently that was plain black instead of the old ugly, vomit shade of yellow-green. So here you are, pulling up to clock in for your shift, wearing the ugliest shirt known to man because you’d forgotten to dry your other one. You think the giant coffee stain on the collar that you’d never been able to wash out really adds to the appeal, too. And when you step in a puddle on your way to the door that almost entirely soaks your left shoe, you barely even flinch.

You’re in a daze as you half heartedly greet your coworkers. One of them simply lets out an ‘oof’ from behind the cash register at the sight of you, and you’re inclined to agree. You head into the breakroom at the back, grabbing your apron from the locker and turning your head only briefly when the door opens behind you.

“Hey,” Joshua greets.

“Hey,” you return quietly, turning back to fix your ponytail in the mirror. You can feel Joshua looking at you and you face him, your eyebrows raised in question. “What?”

He shrugs, and you watch as his eyes take note of your puke-coloured shirt. “Nothing,” he says after a moment, and you cross your arms.

“Go on then,” you say. “Get the teasing out of the way now.”

Joshua grabs his own apron, lifting it over his head. You watch as he smiles while reaching to tie it behind his back, meeting your eyes again as he does. “What would I possibly have to tease you about? You look like my favourite movie protagonist.”

You blink. “What? Who?”

Joshua deadpans, smoothing down his apron and beaming as he replies smoothly, “Shrek.”

You pout. He dissolves into laughter, and you hate that you’re genuinely upset by his teasing, but you’ve just had the worst day ever and you can’t help it. You turn away from him, trying to compose yourself as you let out a forced laugh of your own. “Funny,” you say, trying to appear way less upset than you are.

”Hey,” Joshua says softly, and you close your locker door. The last thing you want is for him to feel bad for you right now.

“Let’s go. It’s almost 2:00,” you say, and you’re about to brush past him when he gently grabs your elbow.

“Hey,” he says, and when you meet his eyes, you can tell he genuinely feels bad for teasing you. “I’m sorry.”

He searches your face, concern written all over his, and your shoulders relax just a little. “It’s okay. It was funny,” you offer.

“I know it was, but you gave me your ‘I would normally find this funny but something is wrong’ laugh.”

“Okay, now that’s ridiculous.”

Joshua searches your face. It’s not lost on you that he’s still got a gentle grip on your arm as he says, “So you’re telling me nothing’s wrong?”

You open and close your mouth for a moment. For some reason, you want to tell him everything. Instead, you settle for, “I’m okay, Shua. Thanks.”

He nods slowly in response, seemingly deciding not to question you further. Then he reaches into his locker and pulls something out, holding it towards you. “Here. I keep a spare one just in case.” When you don’t say anything, dumbfounded, he drapes the black t-shirt over your shoulder and smiles. “It’s clean, don’t worry. And I really don’t mind if you wear it.”

Before you can process any of it, he’s disappeared out into the cafe. When you emerge a few minutes later, he’s already clocked you in so that you’re not late, and the rest of your shift passes without a single comment on the black t-shirt you’ve changed into.

You’re staring again.

It’s a bit slow at the cafe this evening, and your eyes stay on Joshua as he leans against the counter, scrolling on his phone for a song he wants to show you. He’s laughing as he explains how he’d discovered it, blissfully unaware of the way you’re gazing at him like he’s the sun incarnate. You wish you could blame your unprofessionalism on the fact that you’re bored, but the truth of it is, simply, that your coworker has the most delightful laugh.

You’ve known Joshua for a couple of months now. You’d clicked immediately during your first shift together, and it had been easy from then on out. Even on your worst days, everything is a little better with him there. He greets every customer with a friendly greeting and a smile, and he never complains. His smile makes your day, and his laugh… you’re starting to realize that it does something to you.

It doesn’t help that he’s often laughing at your jokes. Or commenting on your many different laughs, which you’ve come to learn are plenty. Since that closing shift when he’d first mentioned it, he’s pointed out at least five different laughs of yours. If you’re honest, it’s got you entirely flustered. Joshua has always been kind to you, and you would even argue that you’re friends now… but do friends pay this much attention to one another?

You think about it all day. You think about it when he calls out a drink order to you with a smile; you think about it when he goes on his break and you miss him the entire time. You think about it when you meet eyes throughout your shift; you think about it when he hides the last chocolate chip muffin from customers so you can have it on your lunch.

You’re still thinking about it as the day nears its close. As usual, you find yourself a bit bummed about the end of your shift. Not because you want to work – you don’t – but because you know you won’t see Joshua for at least two days after this.

You’ve been on beverages all afternoon, and you’re grateful when the post-work rush keeps you busy. You’re making your third decaf latte in the last thirty minutes, and you thank the customer politely when you hand them their drink. You offer a polite smile and a laugh as they make a joke about how silly decaffeinated coffee is, really, and you’ve just turned back to the espresso machine when you nearly run into Joshua. He leans past you to hand the same customer a muffin he’d warmed up in the microwave before he meets your eyes.

“That was your customer service laugh,” he says, low enough for only you to hear, and you flush.

You can’t help it as you say, “You pay an awful lot of attention to me, Mister Hong.”

Joshua chuckles, not fazed in the slightest that you’ve pointed it out. He just smiles. “You’re hard not to pay attention to.”

His admittance is soft, nonchalant. And when he leaves you at the espresso machine to tend to the next customer, you stand there for a few moments, staring blankly at the metal of the machine in front of you. Even after you’ve kickstarted your brain into working again, his words bounce around in your head for the rest of your shift.

And for the next few days.

It starts off just like any other day.

You arrive ten minutes before your shift – as usual. Joshua arrives soon after, and you forget how to breathe for a minute when he says hello – as usual. Then you spend the rest of your day wondering if he’s flirting with you, or just being really, really nice – as usual.

Just another ordinary day.

Until you and Joshua find yourselves soaked from head to toe in coffee and hot water.

“I’ve told him so many times that we need a new one,” you mutter helplessly as the two of you stare at the broken machine. You’re angry, but mostly you’re just tired from going to war with the espresso machine.

You’d been cleaning it after the last customer had left when it had begun to spray coffee grinds and brown, grimy water all over you and your apron. Joshua had rushed out immediately as soon as he’d heard you gasp, and the two of you had done everything in your power to stop it. You’d won in the end – but at what cost?

Joshua sighs, humming in agreement as a hand rubs at his jaw. “We’ll let him deal with it in the morning. It’s not your fault at all.” He turns to you, a hand lifting to your shoulder as he says softly, “Are you sure you’re not hurt? The water didn’t burn you?”

You shake your head, offering him a tired smile. “I’m good, Shua. Did it get you at all?”

“I’m okay.”

He smiles back, giving your arm a squeeze before he turns, and you watch as he slides down slowly to sit on the floor. You let out an exhausted laugh before you join him, resting your head back against the counter in a mirror image. He glances over at you at the sound of your laughter, a smile lifting the corner of his lips. You wait for him to say something, but he doesn’t. He just gazes at you, and your breath catches in your throat.

“Aren’t you going to tell me what kind of laugh that one was?” You ask, voice low in the quiet of the closed coffee shop. Joshua’s smile grows wider as he finally looks away. It takes you a moment longer to look away from him, though. He’s got the tiniest smear of coffee grains on his cheek, and you wonder what he’d do if you reached out to brush them off.

“Does it bother you?”

You blink out of your daze. “What?”

Joshua picks at a thread on his jeans. Neither of you has the energy to lift your heads from the cupboard behind you, and you can’t imagine what the two of you look like right now — covered in coffee grinds and dirty water as you sit side-by-side, slumped on the floor behind the counter.

“You know,” Joshua says softly, gesturing vaguely, “the whole laugh thing.”

You look at him again in surprise. “Oh.” You bite your lip, looking down at your hands. You shake your head. “No, it doesn't bother me at all.” You flush as you add quietly, “It’s nice that someone notices stuff like that about me.”

You can feel Joshua’s eyes on you again. “I like that you have so many different laughs.” He pauses. “It’s versatile.”

You let out a snort at that, and when you meet his gaze to roll your eyes, you’re stopped by the way he’s smiling at you.

Then he says, as soft as ever, “I like your laugh a lot, actually.”

Your breath hitches in your throat as his eyes fall to your mouth. “Laughs,” you correct shakily as your gaze finds his mouth, too. “Plural.”

“Right,” he murmurs with a smile, “laughs. All of them.”

You don’t know who begins to lean in first. All you know is that he’s so pretty, even with his coffee-stained apron and his coffee-grind-covered cheek. Even as you both seem to forget that you’re filthy when his hand finds your chin and tilts you up to meet his mouth.

He’s pretty, and his lips are so warm, and it’s over way too soon.

But his hand is still on your face, his thumb brushing softly against your cheek. You can’t help it — you let out a small, breathless laugh, and Joshua’s smile spreads wide.

“That one’s new,” he whispers.

“I think that one means ‘finally’.”

His answering smile is so fucking soft that you think you melt right on the spot. When he stands up and holds out a hand to help you, he pulls you up and right into his chest, and you have a feeling the closeness isn’t an accident. The way you pull him even closer by his apron isn’t, either.

And it’s definitely not an accident when he kisses you again, pushing you gently against the coffee-stained counter.

“I was really hoping to do this off the clock,” Joshua muses against your lips, “but I’m not upset at all that I’m being paid overtime to kiss you right now.”

A/N: sorry this took so long, there’s been a lot going on in my life!! Thanks for waiting xx

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#hjs x reader #SVT X reader #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagines #joshua imagines #Joshua x reader #hjsfic #Joshua fluff #joshua imagine #Seventeen fluff #seventeen imagine

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kimbappykidding · 1 month

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Imagine thinking Joshua is only nice to you because he’s a good person but your friends Vernon and Seungkwan trying to convince you it’s actually because he has a crush on you

Like most people, the first interaction you had with Seventeen was through their residential social butterfly Seungkwan. When he found out you were a similar age to him he decided you were going to be friends. When he learned you spoke English and had moved to Korea to become an idol he introduced you to Vernon without a second thought. It was a really nice move on Seungkwan's part and you quickly became friends with Vernon through the bonding of being born in another country. However, you weren't American but British, which the other members reacted very strongly to. They found your accent funny and told Vernon and Seungkwan to bring you around so they could make you say things in your accent. That's how you met Joshua.

He came downstairs one day to hear someone speaking English but in a very different way to him or Vernon. When he walked in he realised it was you and smiled hearing the English accent. He actually found the accent pretty hot but he didn't make that obvious. Instead he introduced himself to you and soon you had two friends who understood your situation. Joshua especially understood what it was like to leave your family and home far behind and he seemed to make it his mission to make you feel comfortable here. You soon learned Joshua was very caring and sweet, he never hesitated to help you and you began to be very fond of him. He’d even put a lot of effort into befriending your (now ex) boyfriend NCT's Mark, Joshua was that good a friend. You and Mark had been together for nearly three years when you broke up. You'd met as trainees and had a very sweet relationship. You were both so innocent and naive when you got together and you’d been each other's everything...for a while at least. When you both debuted things changed. Fame and popularity altered things and you'd noticed how you'd slowly been growing apart. You finally worked up the courage to break up with him and everything had been very amicable. When you broke up with Mark and told Seventeen you thought they were all extremely kind and sympathetic...but Vernon and Seungkwan had a different view.

"Did you see Joshua's face?" Seungkwan asked when you all retired to his room. You shrugged "erm no but he told me that he was very sorry for me and that I could vent to him whenever I needed to". Vernon smirked "I bet he did". You sighed aware that Vernon and Seungkwan had a theory Joshua was into you. "Okay and what was your opinion on what happened then?" you asked. Seungkwan smiled "Joshua's eyes lit up and then he quickly realised you were upset and his concern for you took over but he was definitely pleased". "Definitely" Vernon agreed and you rolled your eyes "Joshua does not have a thing for me!". "Ow come on y/n you must notice how sweet and attentive he is to you?" Vernon asked "you only have to look around for something and he's asking what you need, or tonight when you couldn't reach your glass and without even hesitating he swoops in to save you". You blushed, getting flustered with the idea but still didn't believe it yet. "Joshua is just a really nice guy, he's literally known as the gentleman!" you cried. "Yes but he's not just nice to you because of simple politeness, with you it's different". "I'm not too sure" you shrugged and Seungkwan shook his head "why can’t you ever let yourself believe you're good enough? You're a great girl y/n, Joshua would be insanely lucky to have you" getting teary. He always got this way when he got wine drunk and you and Vernon shared a smile.

"Thank you Seungkwan" you said taking his hand "it's not that I don't like myself it's just I struggle seeing what you guys do. I think Joshua is just nice to me because he knows what it's like to be from another country, the same way we became friends" you said to Vernon. Vernon nodded "sure that might've been it at first but I'm your friend now because of so much more than that and it's the same for Joshua. You're now fluent in Korean, have a house here and belong...Joshua is just interested in you. Accept it". You grinned at Vernon's tone "why is it so important to you guys that I do?". "Because then you and Joshua can finally become a couple like the whole group wants!" Seungkwan cried and Vernon shot him a look. "What?" you asked confused and Vernon laughed awkwardly "nothing...just the members kind of ship the two of you". "What? Does Joshua know?". Vernon nodded "they sometimes tease him but it's just a bit of fun! Like how we tell Mingyu he's gonna marry his reflection". "All of you ship us?" you asked. Seungkwan nodded "yeah because we see how you look at each other and how Joshua used to look at Mark". You laughed "Joshua and Mark were friends!". "Yeah but not friendly...more Mark was important to you so Joshua was civil to him but he never liked him, he actually had a go at him one time". "What?" you asked and Vernon nodded "yeah we were at this nightclub and Mark was there. It was when you were ill and Joshua went over and asked how you were and basically heavily hinted Mark should go home and look after you or he would. Mark left like five minutes later". You remembered that night, Mark had appeared early from his night out and you thought it was such a kind and sweet gesture...but apparently it wasn't even his idea. It had been Joshua all along. "Wow I didn't know...does Joshua do stuff like that a lot?". "All the time for you!" Seungkwan cried "you just never seem to notice". You nodded "well I'll try paying more attention now do you want to play uno or something?".

After that, what Vernon and Seungkwan told you about Joshua largely slipped your mind as you were busy with work and training. So you were really relieved when you finally had some free time and went out with Vernon, Seungkwan and their members. You were having a nice night and really enjoying being with your friends. You did notice how good Joshua looked but figured he was always handsome so you checking him out didn’t mean anything...Seungkwan and Vernon had different views but you were too tipsy to argue so just humoured them.

You were passing through a room coming back from the toilet when you spotted a familiar face. Mark was there and he wasn’t alone, he was sat with a girl and they clearly were not friends. You backed away from the scene as if you’d been struck by lightning and felt panic begin to build in your chest. You felt like the lights and music were too powerful and you couldn’t calm down no matter how much you tried to. You weren't sure why it affected you so much. You and Mark had broken up over 3 months ago now. It had been amicable and you'd both sensed it coming for so long....so why did you feel so hurt?

You didn't know what you were feeling all you knew was you had to get out of the room so you quickly backtracked the way you came and rushed outside. You banged into several people in your rush but barely noticed them. You finally made it outside and let the cold air wash over you. The wind was piercing but it helped you to breathe so you didn't even feel the coldness of it. You had your eyes closed trying to stop the tears but it didn't work. You jumped when a hand touched you. "Y/n what are you doing out here it's freezing!" Joshua cried quickly wrapping his jacket around you. "I'm fine..." you said but your hands wouldn't stop shaking. "What happened?" Joshua asked seeing the tears running down your cheek. You struggled to speak and only managed to say “Mark” but that was enough for Joshua. “He’s here? What has he done? "has he said something to you? I swear if he has...". "No" you said shaking your head "he...I just don't want to be here anymore". Joshua nodded "would you like me to take you home?". You shook your head "no I can't ruin your night". "You won't be, trust me. I won't be able to enjoy myself if I know you're upset anyway. Come on let me take you home and we can talk if you want?" he asked. You nodded "okay" and Joshua led you to the exit, keeping close to you but never presuming to touch you. Once outside again you felt better and Joshua quickly got you to his car and opened the door for you. Then he walked around to his door and slid in beside you. He gave you a small smile and passed you his phone "play anything you want or we can just drive in silence. Whatever you want". You nodded and tearfully chose a random playlist.

You arrived back outside your house in what felt like no time and Joshua hesitated in the driveway. “We’re here...do you want to be alone or would you like some company?" Joshua asked. You weren’t really sure how you were feeling but you knew if you went into the empty house alone you’d just start crying. "Can you stay? How about we watch a film?" you offered and Joshua nodded "sounds great" and parked. Once inside you got changed while Joshua went to make some hot chocolates. You met in the living room and while the tv was loading Joshua looked at you. "So it's fine if you don't want to but would like to talk about what happened?" he asked and you sighed "I feel so stupid really...I saw Mark with another girl and it just hurt. I don't even know why! I'm happy we broke up and I don't want him back but I saw it and freaked out...what's wrong with me?". "Nothing!" Joshua assured you "y/n you and Mark were together for years, it's bound to scare you when you see him with someone new. It doesn't mean you're weird or still want him. It's normal". "It is?" you asked and Joshua nodded "when my first girlfriend dumped me I was a mess for months and months, still if I meet someone with her name it makes me feel vulnerable and weird for a few seconds". "That's what it was! I felt so vulnerable and alone! Like he was moving on and I wasn't...does that make me really immature and petty?". Joshua shook his head "not at all, but you know you're not vulnerable or alone right? You have all your members and friends not to mention, me, Seungkwan, Vernon and all the other members. We're all here and always will be". You blushed "thank you that means a lot, I'm glad I met you". Joshua smiled back "I'm glad I met you too y/n" and you just enjoyed the moment for a few seconds.

As you watched Joshua you saw the way he was staring at you, the way his eyes looked at you with so much care and adoration and your heart sped up as you recognised what Vernon and Seungkwan meant. Joshua quickly caught himself though and moved away from you. He would never make a move on a girl while she's emotionally vulnerable so he did the responsible thing and turned to you with an innocent smile "so what film should we watch? You picked last time but I guess I can let you choose again". You smiled back at him and took the remote from his hands, ignoring how your heart fluttered when your hands met.

After that it was like your whole world had been turned upside down. You couldn't stop watching Joshua out of the corner of your eye and later when he left your stomach did back flips as he hugged you and told you to call anytime if you needed him. You lingered slightly and blushed as he stared at you with those beautiful eyes. Once he'd gone everything felt different and things even looked different. You were no longer upset over Mark, you had this excited feeling in your chest because you were pretty sure you'd fallen for Joshua. The next morning you asked Seungkwan and Vernon to grab a coffee and met them around the corner from your house. Once you were seated you sighed "okay so I've got something to admit. You might've both been right this entire time" you said looking down. Vernon didn’t get what you meant but Seungkwan did. He leapt at you with a huge grin on his face "you finally see it! You see how he looks at you". Vernon grinned "Joshua?" and you nodded "how did I miss it?". "Honestly when you were with Mark you didn't see it because you were his girlfriend and only interested in him but I think now, finally, you don't have that blinding you. What happened? How did you realise?". You explained the situation and the two were soon acting like school children, squealing and grinning at you. "Y/n you have to come to Joshua's birthday barbeque next week and tell him!" Seungkwan cried and Vernon nodded "totally!". "But I thought that was for members only?" you asked. Seungkwan shrugged "so? We're doing it for Joshua and what better way to make him happy than having you there?". You blushed at how sweet that was and Seungkwan continued. "You should totally come just before we eat too! Make a grand entrance". Vernon nodded "yes make it more dramatic". "Oww and wear that red dress you wore to Vernon's birthday party! Remember the way Joshua's eyes nearly popped out?". Vernon hit his arm but you were now very okay with the idea of Joshua finding you attractive. "Okay I'll do it!" you said feeling confident. That confidence of course had completely faded by the time the event actually rolled around. "But what if it all goes wrong?" you texted into your group chat with Seungkwan and Vernon. "Not possible" Vernon replied instantly. "Yeah, he's going to be so happy to see you. Are you near?" Seungkwan asked. "I've been parked outside for five minutes". "Y/n! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE RIGHT NOW!" Seungkwan replied. So you got out and nervously made your way to the front door. Vernon was helpfully waiting there and he grinned when he saw you "come let's put your stuff inside and then take you to Joshua". You blushed "what if he doesn't actually like me?". "You're only saying that because you're nervous. it's all going to be great" Vernon told you and you chose to believe him. You found Seungkwan inside and he rushed over to hug you. "You look smoking! Joshua is going to be on the floor". You just turned even redder and Vernon laughed "come on let's get her outside" and you followed them. You could hear the other members talking now but couldn't see them as Vernon and Seungkwan blocked you from their view by walking in front of you. "Have we got room for one more?" Seungkwan called and dramatically moved out of the way so you were revealed. "Y/n?" Joshua called and you smiled "hey, I hope it's okay I came, I brought alcohol and presents". "Of course it is but you didn't have to bring anything!" Joshua said rushing over to hug you. The other members smirked as he practically ran and threw his arms around you. "Happy Birthday!" you smiled hugging him back and Joshua was beaming. "Thank you so much for coming...would you like a drink?". Joshua led you over to the bar and the members all smiled. "We all woke him up bang on midnight, arranged a skype home and threw him this party but we didn't get a smile even close to that" Scoups said grinning "he's so smitten it's cute". "Vernon and I totally win best birthday present" Seungkwan said and the others all nodded. "Well it’s hardly fair when your present is the girl he’s crazy about" Jeonghan commented. You and Joshua turned around to find everyone staring at you and they quickly pretended they hadn’t been talking about you. As you came to sit down the members all moved down so you could sit next to Joshua and the two of you stayed like that most of the day. You chatted to everyone of course but your attention was well and truly captured by Joshua. He looked so happy surrounded by all his friends you never realised how beautiful his smile was before. Throughout dinner you kept shooting shy glances at him and then blushing when he caught you while doing the same to you.

After you’d eaten it was time for gifts. "Present time!" Seungkwan cried coming forwards with the stack the second the table had been cleared. You helped pass them down to Joshua and smiled as all his members got him such great gifts. You noticed Seungkwan sneakily keeping yours until the end and tried to get Vernon to stop him but of course he didn’t. So the last present was yours and Joshua recognised that straight away. “Y/n’s! You really didn’t have to get me anything”. You shook your head “of course I did it’s your birthday!”. Joshua went to argue but the members called for him to open it already and so Joshua relented. He undid the wrapping paper and began to laugh. "What is it? What are they?" Hoshi asked and Joshua grinned "y/n you didn't?". You smiled at how he riffled through the box. "Jaffa cakes, Jamie Dodgers, Space Invaders...you even baked Cherry Bakewells! You got me all the best British snacks! This is amazing". You blushed at how happy Joshua seemed "well you loved them so much that day you tried them at mine so I asked my mom to send some over for your birthday!". "Wait you shipped them over from England just for my birthday?" Joshua asked like you'd imported them from space. "It's no big deal" you shrugged but Joshua shook his head "it is. Thank you y/n I love it so much". You smiled "I'm glad you liked it" and Scoups smiled before he caught DK trying to steal some of the snacks "Dk no!". "But they're British snacks! I've never had them before" he whined. "They're Joshua's that y/n shipped across thousands of miles. Leave them for him". "I'll bring some more for you to try next time" you promised and Dk relaxed now pleased he wouldn’t be left out.

Seeing as that was the last present, you needed something to mark the occasion."Let's take a photo" Jeonghan said and everyone nodded and began moving closer together. "Who's going to take it?” The8 asked and you stood up "why don't I? That way you can post it on social media if you want to". Joshua shook his head "no I want you in the photo" which made you blush and all the members smile again. "We can just put it on auto timer" Wonwoo said and he and Jeonghan began setting it up while everyone got into place. "Sorry I think I'll have to come closer to you" Joshua told you and you shook your head "it's fine" and relaxed as he leaned on your chair putting an arm around the back to stabilise it. "Okay everyone ready? We've got 10 seconds from when we press the button" Jeonghan called. Everyone nodded and you glanced at Joshua making him look at you. "What?" he asked and you shook your head "nothing you just look really nice" as the camera took the photo. Joshua had the biggest smile on his face.

After that you all played some drinking games and soon the hours flew by without you even realising it was almost dark. "Y/n are you staying over tonight?" Dino asked noticing the sun setting. You paused "erm maybe, what time is it?". "Too late to drive back or get a taxi" Scoups said "just stay". You were just about to nod when Hoshi smirked "I'm sure Joshua won't mind letting you bunk with him". Everyone paused in shock and Hoshi gasped “did i say that aloud?". "Yes" Jeonghan said secretly loving how pink you and Joshua had both gone. "Y/n can stay wherever she likes, with me, with Vernon, with Joshua..." Seungkwan said trying to save the situation but he just made everyone laugh at the awkwardness even you and Joshua. "I'm sure I'll figure something out" you smiled and caught Joshua watching you making him blush.

Slowly the members began to move inside and prepare their last surprise for Joshua. It was an American movie he loved and they were turning the living room into a cinema. So they told Joshua to stay put and as more and more drifted off you stayed with him for company. You smirked as you got a text "it's my mom asking if you liked the snacks" you laughed and Joshua smiled "we should send her a selfie with them". He held up a space invader and passed one to you "if you want to of course?". You nodded "sure" and moved closer for the photo. Joshua held the phone out in front of the two of you and smiled holding up your little alien-shaped snack. Joshua took the photo and then brought it up for your approval. You both looked so happy and good together that it made you pause. You’d never looked like that in any photo with Mark and it made you feel so grateful to have Joshua in your life.

Joshua noticed your expression turn serious and paused “woah y/n are you okay?”. You nodded “yeah today’s just got me thinking and you know I don’t think I ever thanked you for being so nice to me when we first met". Joshua shook his head "ow come on it was nothing". "No you made me feel welcome and offered to help me with my Korean and moving apartments and basically everything. I always wondered what I did to deserve such kindness from you". Joshua smiled "Y/n you don’t have to do anything to deserve kindness. It's a basic human right that you are more than worthy of". You blushed and after having several drinks felt a little confident so you replied "It’s things like that which make girls go crazy for you, you know?". Joshua laughed "I’m not too sure about that" he smiled and you shrugged "the ones with any sense do". "Like you?" he asked boldly and you paused "yeah...like me. I guess that means I'm the only one with some sense". "That's more than fine by me, you're the only girl I'd want paying attention to me" Joshua replied and leaned in to kiss you. It was spontaneous and beautiful. You don’t think even Joshua had been expecting himself to do that but it made it all the more perfect.

When you separated Joshua looked worried. "It just occurred to me now I did that without asking you if it was okay with you" Joshua said softly. "Well I'm hoping you could tell from my reaction but I didn’t hate it" you replied with a huge smile on your face. Joshua laughed "that's a relief". "I like you" you said simply and Joshua smiled "I like you too...I have for ages but the time was never right but now...". "Now feels pretty perfect” you smiled and Joshua grinned "I couldn’t agree more. Best birthday ever”. You laughed "happy birthday" and kissed him again. The two of you walked up to the house hand in and hand and passed the window making all the members gasp. You let Joshua go in first so he could see the room and smiled as he was so impressed with everything. He loved it and the members quickly directed him to a seat in pride of place in the middle of the room. Joshua looked for you but you realised you’d forgotten your phone and went back outside to grab it. Joshua turned back to the room and the members all grabbed him. "Stop!" he called smiling "none of this when y/n gets here. I don’t want you to make her feel uncomfortable". "I'm sorry but we’ve been waiting for this for years, you can handle a little excitement" Jeonghan replied.

You walked inside and the boys all stopped and then cheered. You blushed and Joshua held out a hand to you. You joined him and he pulled you into the seat with him, letting you hide your blush from the guys. "I just want to say I'm so happy you two are together" Seungwan said "you'll be a brilliant couple and we don’t even have to threaten Joshua because we can trust him...but still hurt y/n and I will kill you" Seungkwan said making you laugh. "Don’t worry I have no plans to make her anything other than happy" Joshua replied and several members groaned while the others awed. You blushed and turned to Jeonghan "should we just play the movie and kill the lights?". "Why? You got some plans with Joshua when it goes dark?" the boy asked smirking and Joshua threw a cushion at him "just play it!". Jeonghan pressed play and the room dissolved into darkness.

Once the movie started everyone settled down and Joshua moved closer. “Hey i’m sorry about them” Joshua whispered but you shook your head smiling “it’s okay, they’re just excited”. He nodded “well as long as they didn’t make you uncomfortable”. You shook your head “no i’m very comfortable” leaning into his arm around you and Joshua chuckled “good” and moved closer. The gesture felt so natural and you felt so safe and welcome here with Joshua and all his members. Something told you it was where you were meant to be.

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http-mianhae · 1 year

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AMORTENTIA ; joshua

view the whole series here!

DESCRIPTION ᝰ The first time they met was when she reached for a chocolate frog which he helped her reach and after that, they’ve been seeing each other everywhere. A story of how a Slytherin became undyingly soft for a Hufflepuff

WARNINGS ᝰ unrequited love, slytherin!reader x hufflepuff!joshua, one beat up scene, y/n is a sexual assault survivor!!!!, themes and trauma of sexual assault

PAIRING ᝰ hong joshua x fem!reader

WORD COUNT ᝰ 16.7k words

BEFORE YOU READ:

this ends in a cliffhanger but i'm unsure of what to do after it. so i wanted you guys to decide whether you want me to make a part 2 immediately or just continue the series and upload jun's part next.

the poll will be at the end of the story and i'll pin it to my page too! i'll tag you in 24 hrs and tell you guys what i'll do.

anyways, enjoy!!!

A Quaffle passed your sight as you cascaded from the great height. Home is when you’re meters off the ground, ass on a broomstick and pride worn with the Slytherin Quidditch uniform.

Eric and Sunwoo were hot by your side, but their skill couldn’t compare with yours. You sent Sunwoo a minute smile at the furrow of his eyebrows, all his concentration on the Quaffle. Even the goggles he wore didn’t protect the falter as he caught your gaze, wondering why you were smiling at him despite your cold shoulder most of the time.

Only it couldn’t be helped when you saw the underclassmen trying hard, pride pleasing you that he was working hard to beat you.

You sighed, turning back around and speeding on your broom. Hands steady and easily finding the Quaffle again, Eric’s hands nearly at it. It was moments before he would meet with utter distress as you swept through the air. A whistle let you know it was game over.

“Aw, man!” Eric yelled grumpily.

You let the Quaffle drop from your fingertips, not bothering to watch it touch the ground. Yuna, one of your managers, had quite the liking for wanting to catch the falling balls. You glide to the ground without another look, the others in your team following suit. You kicked your legs off your broom, the stick tumbling to the ground.

“That was one-hundred-fifty to eighty, I believe.” your main manager, Lia announced, her hands with a clipboard and a pencil, tapping her chin thoughtfully. Disappointment aroused the younger members of the team.

“It’s not fair, you guys always win!” Sunwoo argued.

You looked at him, his face contorted into a pout and a glare.

He really wanted to win...you liked that competitiveness. Then only, in a real game, he would play his best. He was a Chaser after all.

“Hey, we gave you guys Ryujin this time.” Jun, the vice-captain of the team, answered.

“Yeah. We gave you a chance to find the Snitch but you guys didn’t. Who’s problem is that?” you asked them. The younger members couldn’t say anything.

“You can’t deny. Jun and Y/N alone are a powerful duo for this team. If you guys lose either of them, it would be the end for the team.” Yuna bantered, holding out the crate of water bottles. Hands attacked it mercilessly, everyone going for their individual water bottle.

You didn’t say anything about what she just said, but you did accept it silently. Jun was an excellent Beater and you were Chaser, Captain and realistically, the ace of the team. Without one of you, the team would be at stake.

“You hear that, Y/N?” Jun nudged you playfully by the elbow. He loved hearing those types of compliments reeling from others’ mouths. Almost as much as compliments honouring your looks and honestly, you didn’t know what to say to that. It was like you grew up enduring his over-confidence. Though, if you weren’t the leader of this team, you couldn’t even begin to see in your head how the team would’ve turned out. They all would’ve been little servants of Junhui, the Beast Beater.

“Guys, guys!” You all turned your heads to see Wonyoung sprinting down, her hand high in the air. How she looked that beautiful while running, the secret remained with her genes but it would be a lie to state that everyone didn’t stop for a second to cherish in the angel’s running. Wonyoung, the currently benched first-year Beater, stopped at last in front of you all, looking like she was going to spur her words out but couldn’t because of how much she was running.

“Where did you run from?” the Keeper, Kevin, as if it was any much of a good time, asked.

“F-From the back of the—does it even matter?” the tall girl questioned, her eyes squinted as she gave Kevin a querying look. He had the energy for asking questions that surely didn’t matter. Sweat glistened her forehead under the light atmosphere. “They’re gathering to leave to Hogsmeade in ten minutes. If you want to pack up and leave, let’s go!”

The idea of going to Hogsmeade at a time like this sounded surpassing. You had quite some stuff to do before even thinking of doing so. You looked over at Jun for ideas but the third-year Vice-Captain seemed pretty chill about it.

“I say, we go. How about you, Y/N?”

You looked to your team where pleading eyes abode to convince you. For starters, you weren’t a very lenient person to please nor convince so this was the most they were doing without getting on your nerves. You gazed through each individual staring back at you with cutesy eyes and a sweaty face, belatedly feeling the tiniest bad that your efforts as Quidditch Captain were going to dissipate if you weren’t fit to treat your team at least humanly.

So you gave a little smile. “Fine, but here’s the plan...Lia, Yuna, Wonyoung, Kevin and Eric start packing up the stuff. The rest of us will get changed and then we swap in five minutes, so that Wonyoung, Kevin and Eric can go get changed. Then, we run. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

And just like that, you and your group of green dispersed in the foggy fields getting to your designated locations to do your things.

After packing up the equipment and changing, you were running towards the back of the school in a hurry to find yourself in McGonagall’s annoying nearness within no time, or more like, near late time. Fortunately enough, McGonagall was the type to not see differences in houses even if she took the Gryffindor’s pride to her heart. Unlike Snape who was always on your side no matter what. But if she saw you even a second late, you wouldn’t be excused and she would always wave you with: “Should’ve been here five seconds earlier.”

Had she been a dark witch, you would’ve told your auror parents to get rid of the woman.

Though, luckily enough, you were able to get there quick enough to find her just taking out her clipboard. She gave you and your Quidditch team a stern look in between.

“May I suggest that you make sure that your extra-curricular don’t clash with the times we’re not at school because it would be unfortunate for you to miss out on this. It’s a good way to relax for you students,” she said. And the group of students gathered around her agreed simultaneously.

You didn’t understand if it was a tactic to hinder your team from training more or actual advice, but you willingly wanted to listen to that piece of advice anyways. Maybe you should push Quidditch a few hours earlier on Saturdays so that you can go to Hogsmeade.

“We will be leaving now and no being bad, especially you, Weasley twins!” The woman turned around with a chuckle from Fred and George Weasley, walking down the icy path. Your team took in the snow environment as you cascaded down the group of students to bake in each other’s proximity and relish in your time together.

If you were being true to yourself and for once, not relentless nor greedy, you and your team had a stabler connection with each other than the school's other teams. Which not only made you feel superior but gratified. Because the team you had strived strong together and even the managers and the benched member felt like family, you were simply reliant on each other to the point that you were more than friends. You were all like family.

You could see it in the way you didn’t mind that Tzuyu would link her arm around yours or that Ryujin was hitting Kevin for twerking in the middle of the street and the how you all laughed in harmony together while another man stares. To which, Junhui replied: “Whatchu looking at?”

When the other person floundered away, supposedly an average citizen of Hogsmeade village, another laughter rocked through the members of the Slytherin Quidditch Team. You hit Junhui as he barked with laughter.

“You’re so rude, oh my God!”

Junhui yelling at the old man obtained you to apprehend that you were messing around so much that you didn’t come to the realisation that you were already treading into the village Hogsmeade. It seemed that the younger members were already finding themselves looking around, wowing at the Christmas decorations amidst the village. It shocked you too that they were already getting ready this time in November. However, you were amazed at certain decorations that were better than others. People didn’t fool about Christmas at Hogsmeade. Preferably no one jokes about Christmas in Hogwarts too. It was pretty huge over there as well.

From the delicious banquet to the present-opening morning in which you trade and replenish the air with gratitude.

“Please, please, please, can we go into Honeydukes?!” Lia asked, coming to your free side and taking over your arm.

She pleaded with her eyes. You remembered it like it was just yesterday—how she used to be so scared applying for her position as manager and here she was, for once, acting like you weren’t a ticking time bomb close to exploding. You allowed her to link her arm in, thinking about the thought of Honeydukes. It felt nice to be in the lead sometimes.

“Sure, why not? Where else would we go anyways?” you asked, leading the two girls in the direction of the infamous candy shop. The boys, Tzuyu, Ryujin and Wonyoung were just behind.

It was going to be bustling with students in the miniature candy store. You were precise in your estimate as you entered the store. It was mobbed with Hogwarts students, sprinting around the cramped scope to bestow to their friends what tricks their candies can do and it was no astonishment. Every Hogsmeade visit, the students would infiltrate Honeydukes as it was where the primary consumption of serotonin was—candy.

If you wanted to pay Honeydukes a visit, you had to get there early. That’s what you discovered over the years.

You managed to shake loose Tzuyu and Lia, forming your way within the crowd on your own exploit of confectionery.

It was surprising someone so cold-hearted would intrigue themselves in something as lovely as the taste of sweets. This could be said again at the end of the story, but this tale will point through a wondrous roller coaster of emotions comparable to tasting Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans in the sense that it would end with relief that the candy was over.

Subsequent to the wandering around the shop, you found yourself in front of your favourite chocolate. A small smile found its way to your lips. You’ve always liked this type of chocolate. Its gold-flared wrappings to the elegantly ripped taste of cocoa brought you to heaven and back for two Galleons and a Sickle.

The chocolate made you wriggle in serotonin, made you feel as if you were bouncing in the clouds of heaven.

It had been a while since you had it too so you had to get it.

Just as you were about to bandage your fingers around the golden wrapping of the box, another hand reached through and got it. It appeared to be the last chocolate box stacked on the shelf too, so a broad disturbance sank your heart like quicksand that someone else also had a desire to get the final box of your favourite chocolate.

You whipped your head around, meeting a face that felt familiar. Kind eyes faced you. You backed away from the box but the boy stretched it out towards you.

“You can have it,” he told you.

“No,” You looked away, not aspiring to look at him for too long. You noticed the colour of the robes straightaway.

Yellow stained your sight, disgusting you because you never experienced talking to a Hufflepuff face on. It was always through someone. This was the first time in all your years in Hogwarts a Hufflepuff has actually approached you and that alone said a lot about the type of person you were.

“Have it,” you told the boy. He must’ve been in the same grade as you because he looked more mature than most of the students in the shop.

“I insist. I didn’t really want it anyway, I was just taking it because you were—“

You squinted your eyes, wondering if you were certainly hearing stupidity or it was just you. Suddenly, a hand made contact with you. Whipping your head to the right, you made out the face of your best friend.

“What’s going on here?”

“I was just leaving.” A small smile covered his lips. The obscure Hufflepuff pushed the box into your hands and swung around, shouting out to what resembled to be his friends and followed to merge with his group. You looked at him.

You were staring so hard at the back of his head you didn’t realise that Junhui was blabbering about something—probably nonsense again. You weren’t sure.

“Hey, Jun,” you said, interrupting whatever he was talking about. “Who was that kid?”

“Pfft,” he replied, widening his eyes and getting saliva all over your face.

“Yah, Junhui!” You wiped your face desperately, not noticing the stares you were suddenly getting. The saliva luckily rid your face as you were alarmed to be scarred by his spit forever. Only one of the many perks of being Jun’s best friend, you accepted it as a rare privilege, in fact. You loved being spat in the face—sarcasm involved. “Why would you do that?”

He laughed, slapping your arm. “My bad.”

“Get to the topic.” you glared, delivering a glance at the Hufflepuff. “Who is he?”

“You don’t know him?”

“No, I don’t. Why would I ask that then?”

“Oh my God, Y/N.” Jun fake-sighed. “You don’t pay attention, geez. He’s Joshua Hong, does that ring a bell?”

And it felt like a thousand bricks crashed your head. You remembered who it was. The familiar kind eyes came into view again as you marked the prior vision of him accepting a badge fixed on his chest fled into your mind. You recollected that night as the same night when you got your Prefect badge. He got his Prefect badge and Head Boy badge.

Not only that, he was in your dull History of Magic class and Potions.

Now it made sense that he was giving you the chocolate box.

It was not only because he was a Hufflepuff but additionally for the reason that he was a Prefect and Head Boy, he had to keep his kind status up since he was liable for his entire house.

“So he just gave you that?” Jun asked, eyes wide when you told him what happened.

“Yeah, he did. Weird.”

“Yeah, but no. He’s known for doing that around the school. Maybe you should keep your eyes out in case he does anything else…remotely kind…exclusively to you?” Jun suggested. You didn't discern the tease in his voice.

You exhaled and then linked your arm around him even though the touch of another male's skin made you remotely disgusted. It was just too exhausting to think about. You rather go about your day without having unnecessary things in your head.

“Y-You’re holding me.”

“Right I am, Junhui. Let’s go pay for this.” You waved around the box of chocolates, putting an end to the conversation prior to him questioning anything else.

Junhui didn’t question anything else, knowing this was one of the times his best-est friend was actually revealing skinship. Instead, he walked you towards the counter, passing by Joshua’s group of friends. Your eyes managed to wander into the group unwillingly, filled with students from other houses with the exclusion of green robes.

To find that he was already looking at you.

Was there a possibility that he did something to the chocolate—

No, he doesn’t seem the type.

He smiled.

I’ll never know.

You glared his way and rotated your head back, presenting a grin to the sweet old woman who worked at Honeydukes Sweet Shop, ready to buy your candy.

“Don’t forget, you owe us butterbeer, Captain~” Eric sang into your ear.

―

The dead have too much to say.

That’s what you concluded by the next History of Magic class. Because the teacher you had was an annoyance to the society of wizards and witches. Like, go rest or something? You rather catch Peeves the Poltergeist around the school than deal with Professor Binn’s shenanigans.

You flipped through the pages of your workbook, not really focusing on the class. No one was, no one ever did. In fact, every one of his classes you had attended made you want to drop your head to the table and sleep. Junhui not being in the class made it more vexatious as there was no one else to talk to. The other Slytherins already had friends and were sitting with them, talking and having a good time, leaving you singly at the back of the classroom.

You searched around the classroom, seeing if there was anything interesting to even lay your eyes on. Nothing.

It was peculiar how Binns’ classroom was set up, it was different to a standard Hogwarts classroom. It was one of those classrooms that had rows and rows in an ascending manner in the shape of a semi-circle, so it was easy to fool around and not have the ghost catch you when you were off task.

As you were busy scanning around the classroom, your sight landed perfectly on something you hoped you never saw again.

Alas, there it was. The same kind eyes you were trying to avoid since the commencement of the class.

How Joshua Hong had been looking at you, you didn’t know but what you did know was that you didn’t like it one bit.

You looked back at the teacher, aspiring to find more enthusiasm in the lesson than the Hufflepuff but it was painful as the teacher tended to slur his words into a hybrid of saliva. And then you were inquisitive about Joshua again so in a matter of seconds, you were glancing across the classroom to see if his eyes were still on you.

They weren’t—they were back on the teacher, thank God. A breath of relief slipped through your lips, only to be caught by you again. Suddenly, he looked at you. Your stomach drove itself in nervously, determining the situation awkward because you were never the type to be accused of making friends with Hufflepuffs. Nowhere near that behaviour.

You didn’t have time to shift your eyes too because he caught you into a smile.

It annoyed you—his face, the way his eyes would crinkle when he smiled at you. He appeared so punchable with that smile like he had some authority over you that you were hesitant of. That was the last thing you would let a Hufflepuff have of you, it'd be like someone striping your dignity off of you.

And because of that, it made you smile back, sarcastically.

“So, when did the witch trials happen, L/N?” Your smile was revoked. You whipped your head around so fast as did everyone to look at you to answer the question. Binns was looking at you with the same straight face.

Since you were just so out of focus, the first thing that slipped out of your mouth was a: “Your mum.”

Ugh, Jun! You need to stop saying that around me.

Your face heated up. You felt yourself drown in your own misery almost instantly that you looked down at your textbook for some sort of virtuous support. Inanimate objects don’t give that, do they?

It was worse in a second. Because before you knew it, inhumane wails sought the class. You’ve never heard such blues leave a human before and it concluded that it wasn’t a human. You felt your disgrace pass more profound with the race of your heart as you looked at Professor Binns.

“M-My mother died in a terrible Muggle accident! How could you bring that up, L/N? I am so offended!” This was the first time that you were seeing Binns so expressive but that was not the point―at all. You had a problem that you did not want to be dealing with.

Someone save me. Anyone, anyone.

You closed your eyes, not wanting to see any of your peers looking back at you with humour lit in their eyes. Not only did you make yourself a fool to your classmates but no one was stopping the crying ghost either. It was an eventful day and it was only your third period. You felt your breath clog up in your chest and it was held there for several seconds until the bell rang.

A soundly sigh escaped you as you practically rushed to pack up before anyone in the class could move an inch. “Apologies, Professor Binns. Didn’t know your mother died. I hope she, um, rests in peace or whatever.”

Binns was in another round of tears at the completion of your apology and you were hurrying out of the class, acting as if you didn’t hear his crying. The last thing you wanted to do was comfort a teacher. Your reputation was far more influential than a dead man.

So as you cleared your books off of your desk, you mourned in the fact that the Binns’ situation may have scuffed your standing a bit. You were speeding off to your next class not stopping by any familiar faces that would only give you a run for their money—tease you, your roommates would relentlessly taunt you for the fool you made out of yourself.

You ran out of the classroom, practically wanting to fly.

“Y/N!”

You turned back around, realising that you left the sweet Wonyoung behind at the entrance of your classroom. She seemed to be waiting for you.

“Hey.” you greeted your benched Beater.

She grabbed your shoulders authoritatively, pushing you away from your classroom door where you were in the way of others coming out from the History of Magic class you wished to have forgotten. It was typical for the towering Wonyoung to do so, her generosity was regarded as the taste of honey.

“You seem a little feverish,” she said as she furrowed her eyebrows worriedly. Once again, worrying over her dear Captain that benched her for all she was worth.

“I’m fine. What is it? You should be going to your next class.” you told her dismissively.

“Ah, it’s nothing much but Jun told me to tell you that he wasn’t in class because he skipped.”

You nodded, knowing that was the case anyways. “Okay, get to class now.”

You sauntered down the hallway, requiring to go to the dungeons for your Potions class. Wonyoung tailed on casually, her face peeking between your shoulder. There was a suggestive consideration coming from the girl as you walked down the employed halls. As a Prefect, it was an anchored duty for you to be punctual. You couldn't be messing around here with your underclassmen.

“Did anyone tell you how beautiful you look lately?”

The compliment didn’t even slit through the outer part of your softness (was there even any?). But you knew exactly what her intention was. You glanced at your underclassmen, furrowing your eyebrows, though not showing much agitation at the same time.

“Is this your way of running from the benches?” you asked blankly.

The beauty jutted out her bottom lip at you, her eyes becoming more doe than they seemed to be a few seconds ago. She was good at using her charms.

“Please.”

“Sorry, Wonyoung. I would love to have you not be benched but we already have two remarkably strong Beaters. I know it’s hard on you...” you told her in an attempt to comfort someone. You didn’t do this often, she should appreciate it as much as she could.

“You have no idea.” the girl replied and the once sugarcoated words were drawing out with grief you’ve never seen from her. She was the happiest on the team, the hype woman for everyone and you seeing her this vulnerable had to mean that the girl was fading in her sweet ways, one by one, slowly.

“If it helps, I used to be benched too.”

Wonyoung’s eyes widened. You smiled softly at her.

“Seriously? I don’t believe it.”

You looked away from her intriguingly sparkling eyes. It was a big insecurity of yours and as much as some members of the team knew about the past preceding their arrival of the team, you would never speak on it, requiring the situation to stay succumbed in the happenings for your individual mental health.

“Ah, long story. But the captain was bad, Jun and I made a plan and overthrew him. He was a perverted little shi —“

Before your words could come out themselves, something hard bumped into your back. You jumped, turning around to see what it was.

For once, you were so within talking to another human being that wasn’t Junhui that you didn’t know the crash would make you cross. You were trying to talk to your underclassmen heart-to-heart, who would be so ignorant to destroy that dainty time?

Joshua Hong would.

You glared at the boy as he picked up some books that got knocked down.

Fury rested inside you, finding yourself try to maintain stability for the sake of comprehending his excuse. The last time you checked he was assaying to make eyes with you in the class not even ten minutes ago and now this? You were so close to just grabbing him by the throat and shaking him until his head popped off and wheel down the hallway.

“So sorry, Y/N! I wasn’t watching where I was going and I—“

“Save it.” you seethed.

Joshua stared at you, unbelieving of your response, as if. He better start believing it because you weren’t falling for his nice guy scheme. Whatever this was, you wanted it to stop. You didn’t like it.

Just looking at the way a few strands of black scattered across his forehead, messily and his stupid, sorry eyes made you annoyed.

You couldn’t stand him.

Grasping Wonyoung’s wrist, you tugged her towards you. “Let’s go, Wonyoung.”

—

Were you hard on Joshua? In your fine opinion, absolutely not. The guy had it coming for him, why would he even try his chances with you? Nevertheless, like every human, there was this slight conscious asking you if what you did was moral? As in, what if it really was an accident? Your attitude or personality couldn’t fall for such idiocy. Which was why you let the Joshua situation slip between your finger like quicksilver and by the next morning, it was like he didn’t even exist.

You did your usual morning routine from showering and putting on your school robes, answering questions from younger dormmates and breaking up fights, as a Prefect should. You weren’t one to mess with when coming to fights and the students who encountered you felt the same.

You left for The Great Hall beforehand, without Junhui as you didn’t have the same first period together. Times when the two of you weren’t in the same class, Junhui would lay back with other friends and you would too but no one was going to the dining hall as early as you, so you were all along among your travel to The Great Hall.

It wasn’t until you entered The Great Hall, the early morning chirping dwelled inside your eardrums, awakening you. You walked down the pinched gap between the Ravenclaw and Slytherin table after recognising a group of familiar girls near the front of the table to sit with. Students here and there avoided the contact with your shoulder, giving you free way nonchalantly as you walked, so you weren't paying attention to your surrounding as much as you should have been.

And then, it all happened so quick.

CLINK!

A little pot, it must’ve been the size of your palm, spilled gravy all over your uniform. Your eyes widened, the light brown colour denting the white and green on you.

In brief, you couldn’t differentiate the fine line between time actually stopping or if everyone was just scared for your reaction.

You slowly looked up, your mouth agape with offense. You found big round eyes looking back at you, widened like you. Like they made the biggest mistake ever. You examined the face, finding familiarity from the glasses to the neat Ravenclaw uniform. Sixth year, Xu Minghao, Prefect and an absolute genius one. You’ve heard about his marvellous expertise in academic work, yet didn’t care for who he was until now.

Your face churned, small chatter picking up slowly around you.

"Oh no, is she going to curb stomp him?"

"Poor Xu Minghao. I pity him."

"Rest in peace, Haohao."

Even the teachers paused to watch. You heard an: “Oh!” from McGonagall who was making her way towards you. She was far away though.

If you grabbed your wand now and hexed this Xu MInghao who was looking at you blankly, your rage would compensate. Your hand made its way to your pocket and—

Someone grabbed you from behind and when you looked back, your anger only furthered at the face of Joshua.

“Hong, get off me right now. I might punch the both of you in your manhoods.” you threatened lowly but grateful to the quietness in the hall, it seemed that the Gryffindor table could hear it from all across the room but not the teachers.

“I don’t think you’re in the position to when you have all that trickling down you.” he began.

You wanted to lean back and punch his face.

“Go, Joshua!” you heard a Lee Seokmin say from a distance, the insolent Gryffindor who you had once collided into after practice and being pestered by your teammates. He got one hell of a lecture from you, you weren’t sure why he was talking like he had it easy from you.

But you weren’t able to even get your word in about this mistreatment because before you knew it, you were being dragged out, out of your own will. A spell? You didn’t know, neither could you meet the eyes of McGonagall anymore because she was lashed into a conversation with Dumbledore. And this was the accurate cause why you shunned all the teachers in this school except Snape and sometimes, Hagrid.

Joshua was in lead, your body somehow hexed and following. All that flooded your mind was how wrong this was. Because it looked like you were the one that was following him despite the desperate looks from your body to him.

“Let me go and you’ll have less of a problem.” you seethed dangerously between your teeth.

Joshua smiled back at you as the two of you exited the dining hall like it was nothing. “You need help.”

Did he not get it? You didn’t want his stupid help, neither did you want to see his stupid face. “Hong, I will scream.”

“And I’ve already hexed you so I don’t see your point of trying.”

This was trivial. Joshua was acting like a whole different person. A badger once dripping with honey in his words and actions was now the one to drag you up the stairs without a question from everyone else. You were barraged with the sheer lack of care the people had around you. Did no one dare blink into the troubled face of yours and thought of helping you? That seems not to be the case.

When Joshua was pushing through the students (nicely) with his Head Boy privilege, you could tell where you were going. The one place where you had more advantage than most of your dorm—the Prefect bathroom. You saw students around you sneaking glances as Joshua entered the Prefect bathroom and you entering after him, sadly, with no choice.

Now they wanted to stare. Oh, did the anger in you wanted to burn the whole school down.

“What the hell was that about?!” you roared when the door slammed shut behind you. Your limbs felt free, you could only assume that he took the hex off. And it was later confirmed when you saw his wand clutched in his grip.

Joshua’s eyes finally widened and you could see the fear slip into them. You weren’t falling for it. “I really wasn’t expecting you to know who I was.”

“Oh, of course, I didn’t know who you were until Mr Gentleman here decided to give me a run of his money. Last time I checked, Hufflepuffs stayed in their place.”

Joshua was quiet.

He didn’t say anything, his eyes reached the floor before a smirk sculpted his lips. Your mouth was agape at the audacity. Not once had you encountered such a Hufflepuff.

“I keep warning you—I won’t hesitate.” Your fingers found your wand tucked in your skirt, the slippery consistency of gravy between your fingers. And the vividly distressing memory of being humiliated was back.

“Okay, Y/N. Gravy is spilling between your legs, you look like a mess, and I’m the one who currently has the Slytherin girls’ spare uniform...you make the decision.”

You had been far too patient. Balling your fist, you did not hesitate in having a good run-up and punching him right in the stomach.

“You set this up! I’m seriously gonna—“

“No, wait, listen—“

“Why should I listen to a pervert who is obviously trying to bargain me into taking my clothes off in front of him after getting someone to spill gravy all over me. Do you think a Hufflepuff could ever get in with a Slytherin? And me, out of all people?” you spat, furrowing your eyebrows in disgrace.

You punched him.

Joshua clutched his abdomen, doubling over from the pain. You could feel the throb roam aimlessly within your knuckles as you retrieved it. You tilted your head sharply so the crack from the root of your neck would resonate in the bathroom. It was a known fact between the Prefects that the bathroom had a reverberation throughout.

“Stop, okay? I’m sorry. Mingyu helped me set this up. He thought if I was more upfront with my feelings, it would help me land you.” he told you, eyes sincerely drawing into yours

You seized him by the collar and pulled him inevitably closer. And with that move, it felt like Joshua’s whole body stopped working. But he let his words flow warmly.

“Land me? What do you mean by land me?”

“I have a crush on you and Mingyu planned this whole thing where I would take you out of the cafeteria and help you out and he gave me this huge script thing and I-I believed him instead of—“ His eyes could only accept fear into it.

“You expect me to believe this bullshit?” you questioned him, feeling mocked he would mess you with something like that. How low.

“Yes? Why would I lie about this? And to you? You will never find me doing that.” he challenged

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m trying to say I like you a lot and this whole thing was a bad idea, I shouldn’t have pulled moves on you because it was wrong to you and set a bad example for my underclassmen. I’m sorry for getting in your way.”

Joshua saying he liked you had no effect on you. In fact, you were fairly ashamed. How could he take a careless word from an underclassman when he had girls upon him constantly? He should’ve known what to do. Your clutch loosened on the boy, letting him from your fury grasp.

“You should be. I don’t want this crush nonsense anymore. Stay out of my way, if you know what’s good for you..” you threatened him.

Joshua couldn’t even look at you. He must’ve known from the way you were no one to be fooled with. After all, you were known for your malicious words and merciless tendencies. For him to even attempt was an exceptionally brave and stupid thing to do. You wished he never tried, you would’ve been less stressed about your day.

“Understandable…the uniform is in the third bath cubicle, have a good day.”

He doesn’t blink into your face as he left, leaving you in the Prefect bathroom alone. You let out a loud sigh, feeling the inside of you collapse from the stress. He was just hitting on you and it failed horribly. You shook your head, unleashing the tight furrow on your eyebrows. The longer you thought about it, the longer it would have an unneeded effect on you.

Right, you were merciless and angry but you had a rationale conscious. You sighed and decided to go into the third cubicle, where a huge bath was already bubbling, surprising you. You figured it must’ve been Joshua’s doing.

This is the bare minimum.

You squatted right at the edge of the concrete where the sumptuously built bathtub was and dipped the edge of your fingertips of the water. It was warm. How?

Undressing, you wondered how the boy managed to keep the bath still warm. You had to have been in the Great Hall for a good five minutes and to get to the Prefect bathroom was almost ten minutes. Dipping yourself into the bath, the water welcomed you cordially. The foam covered your nudity from above and there was no doubt in your mind that Joshua must’ve got someone to do this minutes before you hypothetically entered—the only explanation that could be offered. If there was a spell, he would’ve had to go back into the third cubicle and take the hex off.

So that meant that he went super far into planning this.

He’s genuinely interested in me…

Who cares?

A booming “woooo~” scared the living daylights out of you. Your thighs clenched tightly as you backed to your dirty robes where your wand remained in case of danger.

It was nothing to be afraid of though.

Moaning Mrytle came from under, her body loose next to you so suddenly your body paralyzed for a whole second.

“Bathing so late in the morning, are we? Classes start soon.” Her eyes lowered a little. You pushed the soapy foam closer to you despite her seeing you from under anyways. There was something about Mrytle perving on you from above that made you generally awkward. She never hid her lustful tendencies as a spirit.

“If it wasn’t for an idiot, I wouldn’t be here, would I, Mrytle?”

“Badger boy~! Oh, he’s so incredibly handsome! Ah! I don’t understand why you wouldn’t fall in love with such a heartthrob.” she said, pouting at you. She perched her face on her hand, sighing heavily. “If I was still alive and in this generation of students, I would’ve had a huge crush on him or his incredibly handsome friend.”

Something little quipped in your heart at her words. You let the sound of the Moaning Mrytle's legs kicking her legs under the water sit a little. Gears were working in your head, finding a solution to that feeling. Why were you feeling that? It was like you could coincide with what she was saying.

But finding Joshua conventionally attractive didn’t mean you liked him like that, in fact, it was the opposite. But Mrytle must’ve known what was going on, at least more than you did. You might as well dig for more information.

“Mrytle, did he come in here earlier?”

She smiled. “Whyyyy~?! Do you have a crush on him?!”

You were afraid that the question was going to come up, but you defended yourself nicely.

“Well, it must be every girl’s inquisition if a boy has a crush on her. You would know that Mrytle, you’re such a gem!” Being nice was definitely not your forte, but you had to try to get the truth out.

But she smiled, taking it which made it all worth it. “Oh, stop it!…well, he did bring that incredibly handsome Hufflepuff Prefect in here and they were discussing something about you. I heard that older boy say that he was in love with you and it hurts liking you. They were talking about something about you but I wasn’t paying much attention. The other one’s face was such a distraction, honestly!”

No one has talked about you that way. You felt empty.

Your thoughts were getting nowhere. All you could describe was shock at the situation that was ducked. Never once in your life have you heard about another person talking about being hurt while liking you.

Your heart felt as if it was weakening, but you retained quickly, remembering that he brought you into this current situation with his stupid action plan, thinking it would make you weaker. And that instantly made you fed up. The aggression wasn't as strong anymore and you wanted for it to be badly.

He couldn't just do that and expect to win you over, that was beside the point.

He was messing with you.

Joshua Hong was trying to distract you.

—

The moon had always captured your eyes. It was like the big glowing circle would enlarge whenever someone fed it attention and admiration, becoming more beautiful. You couldn’t help it, indicting it on the divine sight the library had of it. Nonetheless, you couldn't let go of a certain topic knacking you on the back of the head—a bigger inquisition than the merit the moon offered.

"Do you think what Moaning Mrytle said was true?" It was a day following the event at The Great Hall.

Your best friend slid to your side. He grabbed a pebble on the windowsill and flung it back, letting go at the fit angle. The rock wheeled through the gaps of the circular window frame and into the atmosphere for a stable second, awarding unneeded silence to answer your question. Both of you paid attention to the rock's adventure until it decided to stop midair and drop down at an increasingly fearful speed.

Junhui let out a sigh and then turned around to you, leaning his figure against the window frame.

"I mean, I don’t know. It seems like anyone would be dedicated if they were planning to embarrass themselves in front of their crush. I wonder if Mingyu bribed him.” he stated.

You could hardly see it. Even on the court, Mingyu was too much of a good sportsman. It was beyond his abilities.

“I doubt it..." You leaned against the window frame like your best friend, giggling a little."Funny how I know nothing about him and he’s confessing.”

“Okay, but what do we do now that everyone thinks he brought you into the Prefects bathroom to screw?” he asked you. It was a question he ached to ask for so long, you could see it since this morning in which he gave you the most bewildered face when he learned that the rumours were totally muddled up. Students must've thought otherwise when they saw you and Joshua on the way up to the bathroom.

“I don’t really care what they think. I just hope he doesn’t come to mess around with my breakfast times again.” you shrugged, a small smile on your face at the recollection of humiliation on Joshua's face. You felt embarrassed for him, you couldn't begin to imagine how he was feeling.

"Oh if I was him, I would be scared to death.”

"As he should be...should we go back? I wanna sleep so bad," you suggested.

Jun pressed his lips tightly together and nodded, agreeing with you. "Me too and we have practice tomorrow too."

"That we do."

You collectively exited the library, not forgetting to wave Madam Pince a 'good night'. Jun and you made your way down the many stairs from the library, engaging in a humorous conversation, distant from the drama in your life that had been missing for a while. It didn't seem like it but Junhui was a big gossiper. You would hear everything from him before it would come from anyone and it was because of how he was always able to be at the scene of the crime. All the time.

Of course, except yesterday when Joshua was dragging you out of the Great Hall.

You felt a little uneasy on the ground floor, knowing that the two of you had to go past the Hufflepuff dormitory on the way to the dungeons. It was a pain honestly and it showed that the event affected you more than it should've.

"Not you thinking about him already."

"Boy, shut up," you told him as you took the lead into the hallway, guiding towards the dormitory to show that you weren't anywhere near thinking about Joshua.

It hadn't even been ten steps.

Your breath hobbled in your throat as you came to an instant stop. Jun knocked into your shoulder from behind.

“No, Momo. You’ve had too much to drink. Go inside, I’m gonna go get something from the kitchen and I—“

"NoOoO, I wanna see her now. She’s all I think about Joshua, she’s all I—“

Joshua was holding up a girl, trying to get her to stand upright on the wall and from the looks of it, it was something scandalous. Her eyes were dull, somewhat trying to find their way into slumber. She was drunk. Drunk as hell.

His back was facing you so there was no way he would see you. How would you slip by without him noticing? What if he sees you? Questions waved in your mind, all of 'the avoidance'. Whatever it was, you didn't want to be dealing with anything involving Joshua.

"Oi, Hufflepuff. What happened?" Jun asked loudly, leaving you flabbergasted.

What is he doing?!

Joshua turned around, hands busy holding the girl's shoulders. He looked back at Jun and his eyes widened a little. It was moments before his view fleeted to you. You wanted to scream with frustration. Your best friend—

You were betrayed.

He didn't look at you for long, his glance gliding towards an allegedly helpful Jun. It was the truth that he was only doing this because he wanted to get on your nerves somehow.

"She drank something the sixth years gave her and now she’s drunk. I don’t know what she drank though,” he replied.

It was surprising that a situation like this would arise for a Hufflepuff. Nevertheless, you paid no mind to them conversing. You could feel Jun's eyes penetrating through you as you shied your eyes to the ground that was far more interesting than what they were talking about. The drunk girl let out yet another groan of disobedience.

"Stop, Momo," Joshua said sternly.

Without a second after his words, you felt yourself being thrown forwards. Pushing back Junhui's hand, your jaw clenched. It took everything in you to keep your mouth shut from the words you wanted to spew out.

"Y/N here happens to be an alcoholic at a young age—"

"I am not!" you interrupted at the out-of-proportion lie. You only drank a couple of times and he knows it was for family events. The snarky smile on his face made you want to punch him.

“What I’m trying to say is she’s good at sniffing out drinks, why don’t you let us in and we can help you out?" Jun suggested casually.

Jun was in big trouble for sure. Any second now and he was going to find himself in a headlock.

"I don't know....that's not allowed." Joshua's chin tilted downwards, rejecting Jun's offer.

At least the goody-two-shoes himself wasn't letting you in anyways.

“Yeah, Jun.” you pressed, glaring.

Jun spoke up though, “Oh well, it’s your loss, really, Hong. You’ll have no idea what went into your friend’s body and you’ll have to go to the teachers and ask them if she has some kind of reaction. And won’t that be an embarrassment for you to have to tell, as Head Boy, that your underclassmen were messing around with alcohol under your nose? But I guess, it’s your decision.”

Junhui being snappy instead of being full-on aggressive was a rare scene, meaning that he was farming a lot of force to embarrass you. Of course, he was. Sometimes your misery was his happiness.

Joshua's stare followed to the ground, yielding you relief that you weren't going to deal with him or the drunk girl. You felt a little bad for her but anything for your rep, right?

"He doesn't want us, let's go." You grabbed Junhui's wrist and dragged him down the hallway without another look. After this, you planned on having an early night so that you would have enough energy for tomorrow's practice.

“Joshua, please. I want to see Dahyun, I have to apologise to her. She’s the only reason I’m living. I—"

“Fine.” His voice stabbed in the hallways and it was plain that Joshua was aching in the drunk girl's antics. Chills ran up your body unexpectedly. He did not agree, did he?

"You heard our boy, Y/N." Jun reversed your positions, grabbing your hand instead to drag you down the hallway excitedly. A million-dollar smile was cemented on your best friend's face and dumbfoundedly, you were led by him down the hallway, helpless to understand it. There was no way Joshua, the Head Boy and Prefect and above all, Hufflepuff was letting you into his dorm.

You clung onto Jun's hand for dear life, his clutch so loose that he would probably let you cluster to the ground if he were to let you go.

Momo's half-shut eyes blinked into yours, reaching you right in the abdomen. She was drunk, you didn’t know what went into her body. What if it was poison? What if something horrible happened to her? God damn it.

You couldn't leave now.

Her eyes would haunt you forever then. This wasn't for Joshua, it was for her. The sudden change of heart was noticed greatly by Jun as you swayed his grip off of you. As much as you were doing this, the touch of men, you were disgusted by.

Joshua told his password in front of you and got in with the girl and with you and Jun following. Neither you and Jun were scared of basically infiltrating another house's dorm being rebellious students already but the way Joshua was worrying his lip between his teeth didn't pass you.

His lips are so plump—oh my God, what the hell am I thinking?

Your eyes widened at the side of his face, ensuring Momo that everything was going to be okay. That's how you were able to see his lips perfectly, excluding the gloom cast atop the dormitory. The thought shook you on the inside, you disliked it. Why would such a thought pass you, in the first place? Were you losing control?

“Guys, calm down. They’re just here to help Momo out. There’s no need to look at them like that. Seungkwan, take her.” Joshua announced to the many eyes staring back. You felt no astonishment to them.

A boy walked out and helped Joshua wrap an arm around Momo and bring her to comfy armchairs by the fireplace.

“If this keeps happening, we’re going to have to discuss with our companies—I mean, school. I mean, school. Why the hell did I say company?" Seungkwan patted her head slowly as she lulled her head on his shoulder without a care in the world.

"Where's the drink?" Jun asked from your side.

Joshua picked up a glass from a small table in front of him. He passed it to you. The remains of the drink were still evident on the bottom of the glass and you hoped hard that no one changed the glass while you were gone. You looked at the remains for a second before sniffing the drink, the smell already familiar to your nose.

"It's just regular ale, nothing bad will happen to her," you declared.

The tension in the air dispersed. Joshua exhaled with relief as you put the glass back onto the table.

"Let's go," you said to Jun, whining slightly. The longer you stayed in here, the more you wanted to die from embarrassment.

"Um, excuse me?" Joshua asked you and the desperation in you grew. Did he not understand? "How do I, um..."

"Sober her up?" you questioned. The yellow started to feel like a perpetual blot to the eyes and a steadfast reminder that he was within few feet of you.

You reached into your robes quickly and pulled out a vial that was the size of your palm. You couldn't believe you were giving away your last vial, but there was no choice. Gazing at Momo as you pass the concoction to him, sorry flooded you. Poor girl—

"Just make sure that...she doesn't drink anything handed to her."

You couldn't hold back the tongue of empathy clawing you, tormenting you. The ends of Joshua's lips quirked up slowly and you couldn't help but know exactly what that meant. The nice boy in him was going to spurt with gratefulness. Deciding quickly that it was time to go, you grabbed Jun and turned to head down the way you came.

However, a persistent word of gratitude slipped from between his lips anyways. "Thanks, Y/N!"

Disregarding him, you were beholden to find your palm on the door with a very giggly Jun on your side. As soon as you were in the hallway again, you let Jun move away from you before you punched him harshly in the chest. Even though you were doing this for Momo, he was still to blame for dragging you into it in the first place and making you blink into her face and feeling sorry for her.

To your surprise, the boy didn't flinch at all.

You almost forgot. The Beast Beater, what were you expecting?

"What was that about?!" you yelled at him.

He threw his head back, laughing at the glower you had. Was it funny? Was it really entertaining to him that you were suffering? The boil in you was proceeding to the edge as a hand weaved through your robe. Your wand was seconds away from meeting your grabby and desperate hand.

"Just teasing you..." Jun said, waving his hand dismissively. He walked towards the Slytherin dorms. You followed him, still heated but you let go of the wand for the reason that you didn't want to hex him so bad that you would get into trouble. There you went with your rational conscience again. "But hey, he's not a bad lad, you know? You could do with someone like him."

"What's that supposed to mean?" If you were to know everyone in the whole wide world, Junhui would still be the person to hate Hufflepuffs the most. Overly to the extent that some of the bitterness rubbed off on you throughout the years since the two of you were practically inseparable.

“It means that you need water for your fire, an eggplant to your peach, a—"

"Jun, I'll hit you!"

He ran away before you could even get to him.

—

The Gryffindor teacher yet again had a lot to say. With a hand clutched onto the parchment with your excellent grade, you exited the class with heat radiating on your face. She had a problem with your continuous obsession—as the woman labelled it—with talking about her when her back was turned. You had no response for once because you had no idea she could hear you.

You could assume a student told her but then again, she's McGonagall.

You let out a sigh, looking down at your Transfiguration test.

"Good job on the test though. You must've studied hard, L/N."

You pushed the test down, unable to look at it as you strode the halls with quick, angry steps. Was there a second where you weren't mad? It was a side of you that was always growing whether you liked it or not.

It relinquished within a second when you found the show of a familiar figure by the entrance of the school. She peeked her head out tentatively before rolling her heels back in the shadows, tending her back against the wall. Her eyebrows knitted in.

You walked up to Lia suspiciously, crossing over a bunch of first-year Gryffindors who let you go first. They whispered harshly to each other in what you could assume was talk about the person you were. Not that it mattered—everything was interesting to the first years.

You were curious about Lia's behaviour since she was meant to be at practice right now and not wandering around the castle.

"You're supposed to be at practice."

She jumped, her hands flying to her chest. "Oh, it's just you."

"What are you doing here?" you asked.

Lia avoided your eyes.

"Well, tell me." you pressed on.

"Ugh, fine," she groaned, stamping her foot on the ground. "I fake-confessed to Eric because it was a dare from Ryujin and now he thinks I'm for real. He won't stop talking to me, even during class. It’s so annoying."

She scanned your face for your reaction.

"Why would you do that, stupid?" you said, holding in a small giggle.

Lia smiled a little subsequent to your light heart towards her reason. "I don't even know. I just wanted to prove myself, I guess...but! It's whatever now. I can go with you, Captain."

She linked arms with you, notwithstanding another second and led the way through the exit of the castle. The breeze felt a little heavy. It was an overcast day, murk weaved in between the students on the late Wednesday afternoon. It was an exhausting week already and for the students to keep going felt like a burden in the disguise of an obligation.

Lia glimpsed down at your test paper on your other hand.

"Ninety-five per cent?" she questioned, an impressed hum leaving her. "I thought you hated McGonagall."

"I do. But I have parents to make proud of," you answered, walking uphill.

"Don't all Slytherins?"

The slash of green and red from a distance didn't allow you to continue your conversation with Lia. As you were on top of the hill, you could see the anger on Ryujin and Sunwoo's faces, sensing something was wrong as they were meant to be getting ready to practice.

"Gryffindors? But we booked the field!"

"That we did, kid, but we know that Bradley Ainsworth is a little persistent, isn't he?" you dangerously chided under your breath. You drew Lia with you as you stomped determinedly downhill and towards the merged teams in an obvious fickle.

But something else hit you as you got there.

"Where's Jun?" you asked.

"He's in detention," Yuna replied to you prior to looking back at the Gryffindor Captain."We already booked the field. You guys can’t just come and interrupt our practice time like that.”

It was impressive that she could talk like that even though she was only the assistant manager. You felt proud that you taught your managers well and not to take shit from other people.

"No, you didn't. Check again. We booked it today and swapped you out for Sunday." Bradley looked at you with a smile.

What a pain to look at.

You felt your frustration reach its peak.

"Are you kidding me?! No, you didn't!" you shouted as you ditched Lia's hand aggressively. The test paper in your hand was getting scrunched with every second of your talking.

"Hoshi," Bradley demanded, smirking. Their Chaser, Hoshi, picked up a piece of paper that was apparently worth millions and above all, proving his point. Indeed, you were swapped out for Sunday, but that would mean no break for your team on the weekend. You would already spend four hours practising on Wednesdays and Saturdays. For you to practice eight hours over the course of two days would take a toll on all your bodies.

"Ainsworth, you can't just do this stuff without telling me!"

"I'm sorry, L/N. But we have practice to get to," he said and was about to leave.

“Stop. Because you know that you’re not supposed to book the field out on my day unless you have special permission! This is absurd.”

"Absurd, she says." Fred and George mimicked and Hoshi laughs loudly.

Bradley was going to get it from you today whether he liked it or not because you weren't a fan of letting you and your team not practice when they were all already changed.

"Ainsworth, I suggest kindly that you all leave the field before I tell Snape about this and land you all in detention. Oh, and won’t that be your fifth detention from Snape this quarter? Doesn’t that mean a suspension?”

He pursed his lips tightly. As expected, all Gryffindors had intimidation towards Snape as a teacher. You never fully understood it until you actually came to Hogwarts where he treated his own house better than any other house.

“Wait…why don’t we ask outside our own perception of this…um,” Bradley looked around nervously. You scoffed, finding this aspect of him different from how he usually acted. He would act all high and mighty all the time, he walked like he owned Hogwarts, he was such a tryhard with girls too.

You smiled back at your team.

Until he did something unexpected.

“Hong! Get over here!”

Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. You hadn't seen Joshua Hong in two whole days and you were praying not to have to bump into him. But there he was, walking around with Momo, supposedly going to the lake.

“You are so not asking a Hufflepuff right now,” Sunwoo stated as Joshua and Momo walked over. She was looking a lot better today, you noted.

“Do you see any other alliances Slytherins have?” Bradley asked.

He was foul-mouthed and the steam of outrage touched the edge. You whisked out your wand, bringing it near his button nose. Bradley froze, brazen words leaving his mouth one second ago, all disappearing within the nanosecond. Kevin immediately pushed your hand down before things got too violent. You breathed out sharply, glaring at the Captain of the opposing team.

“You can’t just speak to our Captain like that!" Ryujin shouted at him, furrowing her eyebrows.

Bradley let out a small chuckle. ��Oh, wow. Your team actually respects you, L/N. I remember what happened last time when you got—“

Triple homicide—Eric’s fist met with his abdomen, Tzuyu kicked him right in the knees and George, surprisingly, kicked him from the back. It was unexpected he was defending you but you appreciated it regardless.

Bradley fell to the ground, his eyes widened at the abrupt fighting. Your fist was shaking as you drew it back, rubbing it slowly with the other. Tears threatened to follow down your face from the shock.

You never really got over it...he had no title talking about you like that, you had no control over what happened then. The way his team didn't say anything and the twins glaring at him for his actions proved that he deserved it.

"What was that for?!” he had the audacity to ask

“How could you bring that up here?! You are seriously an asshole if you think we’re not going to do anything about this!" Tzuyu yelled at him.

Joshua held a hand out at the fallen Captain to your astonishment. "Calm down, the two of you. Why are we yelling here?"

Momo pulled Joshua back, letting the Gryffindor fall back to the ground with a thud. Joshua was persistent, pushing back Momo with a shoulder shrug. You felt like you should've punched him too.

“Joshua, stop—"

“No, I’m not going to stop! It can’t just suddenly be okay for her to push Ainsworth just because she wants the field.”

Tzuyu placed a hand on your shoulder, an attempt to calm you down but all you could do was push it off as a tear slid down your face. Joshua's mouth fell agape slightly at the sight. It was like he could capture every detail of you. Then he should've known what he was sticking up for, especially when it was about you.

“So it’s okay for Ainsworth to bring up how I got sexually assaulted in front of everyone?! Wow, thanks, Joshua. I can really see which side you’re on.” You left with tears, not wanting to see his face again, although, his eyes intruding when you ended your first sentence was stuck in your head. The amazingly graded test paper flew from your grips too, abandoned on the grass.

“Good job, Hong. Good fucking job.” Ryujin spoke up and you apprehended the steps of your team following you, guarding your back against a backstab you didn't expect from a person who pleads his case of crushing on you.

Was it all a lie?

—

"Where is she?" you heard Jun ask from outside the bathroom.

“She’s in there,” Eric answered and there was a moment of silence. You basked in it, letting the girls cling onto you like you were spending your last few moments with them. In truth, the younger ones didn’t know what was going on at all but Tzuyu and Ryujin knew for sure. Tzuyu was on the team at that time which was why she was the prime caretaker when Junhui wasn’t there.

The tears just wouldn’t stop—not even when Wonyoung was wiping them away, not even when Lia was stroking your back with her soft palm, not even when Yuna was holding your hand and not even when Ryujin was laying on your shoulder. Until, of course, the door burst open with the presence of the Beast Beater.

The girls jumped in surprise.

“What did bloody Ainsworth say to you?” Jun asked, showing no action to the girls. His eyes were stuck on you defensively.

“It’s nothing, Jun.”

You didn’t understand how vulnerable you were at that moment.

Jun’s fingers reached his temples in frustration before he grunted. He walked over to you and the girls, letting his hand reach the shoulder that wasn’t occupied with your Seeker. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there but I’m here now.”

His genuineness closed the crevice where your tears poured mercilessly—you felt enlightened by Jun and in no doubt were you going to handle the circumstance yourself as you did before. You were going to talk.

Looking at the girls hopefully, they caught the message.

“We’ll be guarding the entrance, okay?” Yuna said.

You nodded, the weight of them leaving you in a matter of seconds. They left through the tattered dark door of the second-floor lavatory in an orderly fashion, Lia peeking over at you, her eyes smiling at you lovingly. You nodded at her. She smiled and then closed the door behind her, enabling privacy between you and your best friend.

“Now, explain everything,” Junhui said, putting his hands on his hips.

You sighed, then, you explained everything. In full detail. He nodded, taking in your words as this was the first time that Wen Junhui wasn’t at the scene of the crime. Actually, second because of the time with Joshua at The Great Hall, he was slumbering in the dorms. Junnhui listened carefully unto you told him what Joshua said.

“Hong did that?!” he exclaimed.

“Yeah, he did that.” you sniffled, the tears about to come back. You were about to lose it, remembering his eyes and the understanding that hit him then. Again, it was on Joshua, himself. He messed up, you couldn’t go around feeling bad for him. But you felt so bad when he realised. He was only trying to diffuse things and not let anyone get hurt.

But he didn’t have to glare at me like that.

“He was defending him all it was worth. I’m just disappointed,” you told Jun.

“Why?!” he questioned.

“I mean, I helped him out and he just accused me of something. He doesn’t even know how shitty of a person Bradley is,” you told him.

“I’m more worried about Bradley. I think we need to show him what Slytherins are about.”

You knew exactly what that meant but you didn’t want him to do anything bad that would result him in getting in trouble.

“Don’t get in trouble for me.” you smiled through a blurry sight of Jun.

“What else can I do?”

—

“This is your final warning. Next time, I’ll actually murder you..” Jun pushed him again against the sacks of flour behind him. It was impressive how he was madder than you about this. You admired his attempts in beating Ainsworth up and you also admired his bloodied knuckles with his fine set of rings which were inherited from his great grandfather. Jun bounced back, tilting his head to the right, a crack heard clearly in the room of working House Elves.

They paid no mind to you guys beating him up, they were profoundly focussing on their work for making dinner for the thousand students that attended Hogwarts. In fact, you were sitting on one of the benchtops, enjoying a tall glass of milk and iced cookies made by the elves for you. It had been long since you knew that Dumbledore had House Elves working beneath him than the food being magicked up itself. It was an easy way for you to beat Ainsworth up in here because you threatened the elves that if they were to tell anything to old man Dumbledore, they would find themselves in a little accident—or more or less, a kitchen fire. Not that Dumbledore would ask them anyways, you would make sure that Ainsworth kept his pretty mouth shut about this after.

“Do you think it’s funny to make fun of someone’s trauma?” Sunwoo yelled, kicking him right in the abdomen. This was beyond evil but he didn’t leave you with any other choice. Ainsworth was there when you were ushered into the hospital wing for immediate care, he watched you with his eyes that were half-awake because of the drug you were under.

Tzuyu bent down to her knees into a squat, grabbing Bradley by the collar. She pushed his face into his and smirked. “It hurts now, doesn’t it?”

Bradley whimpered.

“God, that was hot.” Junhui cleared his throat.

You all looked at him expectantly. He rubbed his knuckles in his other hand, looking at the details of the ceilings, far from realizing that you were all looking at him. Excluding, Tzuyu, who just slapped Bradley in the face. He looked back at you and you beamed slowly. Did he like Tzuyu?

“W-What? I said it was hot in here, you know? Because—”

He was so dumb, it was literally freezing in the kitchen, you didn’t know how the elves wielded in such harsh living conditions. You shook your head and then joined Tzuyu down on the floor, squatting right in front of Ainsworth. Holding him up by his blonde locks, drenched in sweat and little specks of blood, you smiled at him. You already had your time with him before, in fact, you were the first to land an excellent kick in the groin.

“Now you know to not mess with me again, we’ll leave you to tender your wounds, how about that?” you asked, crinkling your eyes as you smiled at him. You stuffed a cookie into Bradley’s bloody mouth as he whimpers in fear. You patted his cheek gently, his eyes exhaustingly peeking into yours. “Guys, let’s go now.”

“Righty-o, Captain.” Eric began making his way through the gaps between the short countertops made especially for the elves. You followed through, a satisfied feeling closing you with a breath of relief. Sunwoo opened the door for you, letting you go first as a way to show his pride in your wondrous bravery.

You wished you didn’t go.

The smile that was on your face disappeared within a second. You relaxed your face and walked towards the left, a dire desire to leave.

“Please, Y/N. Let me explain myself—”

“How many times are you going to apologize, Joshua? Actually—how many times are you going to mess up? You know what? Don’t even talk to me. If I look at you any longer, I’m actually going to start feeling sorry for you.”

Joshua’s eyes were big and sad, “I—”

Jun pushed him with his shoulder, making it to you. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “You heard her.”

You turned around and walked off with Jun.

Guilt swarmed through you, you felt that you were too harsh, you knew that yourself. The sorry in his eyes were prominent, so prominent that they shouldn’t be ignored. He was genuine—it was an innate characteristic of the Hufflepuffs and he wanted to make up for his mistakes.

Why were you such a bad person?

He’s a Hufflepuff.

“God, is it bad that I feel bad?” you asked under your breath, moving Jun’s hand away from you.

He smirked, nudging you with his shoulder. Nevertheless, you appreciated that he kept his voice down as your teammates fitted nicely into their own conversations.

“Look at you being soft…no it’s not. He shouldn’t have reacted like that regardless. He basically minimized your problems.”

How, though? You wanted to ask. How did Joshua minimize my problems when he was only trying to diffuse the heated problem between Bradley and I and was trying to make sure that no one got hurt because, in truth, that was the best for all of us? Plus, he didn’t know about my circumstance, that’s not his fault.

The realisation of your self-acceptance of the situation only made you want to bang your head on the nearest wall.

—

When Ainsworth came through to Ghoul Studies class the next day, you had to bite back a smile that was coming onto your face. There was no Jun to nudge and talk to about how his fingers were cuffed in bandages.

“Oh, Ainsworth. What happened to you?” the teacher asked, a frown settling on her lips.

“He fell off his broom during practice. It’s horrible, isn’t it?!” one of his many fangirls asked the teacher. You put your hand on your mouth, seeing how dejected his excuse was. So that was the excuse he gave to others? Ainsworth didn’t acknowledge you at all, taking a seat rows in front of you so that he couldn’t see your face.

You leaned back against your chair and smiled to yourself slightly for the rest of the class. When the class had finished, you were off on your feet swiftly to find Jun. But there was no seeing him come out of his Transfiguration class at all. You decided to pop in, at last, seeing McGonagall packing her things up with her wand. You couldn’t hold back your words at your least favourite teacher.

“Using magic for selfish needs, hm? You’re always telling us not to do that.” you scolded pretendingly, crossing your arms together across your chest. Her books nearly dropped her books down to the ground at you being in her class.

“Merlin’s beard, having you in this class four times a week is already a hassle but having you here for another day is just too much.” she sighed, shoving her wand into her robes. Abruptly, she smiled, causing you to do them. As much as you didn’t like her as a teacher, the woman reminded you of yourself at some times—the way she scolded students and her comebacks that were so blazing. They almost proved you wrong too but if it wasn’t for your own cunning remarks, you and McGonagall wouldn’t be in this puddle of disagreement and sharp words that pricked your flesh like a broken mirror.

And not to mention, there was a point in time where you were close to her. A dark time for you.

“Mr. Wen, I presume?” she asked you, walking out of the classroom. You followed her towards the door, getting there before her so you could open it wide for her. She had some things in her hands. “Thank you.”

“Of course, always. Where is he?” you asked. “Or did he skip again?”

“Ah, not this time.” the teacher told you. “I let the class go a minute earlier so I assume that he’s already feasting in the Great Hall. Very fidgety, something to tell him? Confess?”

“Oh, professor!” you exclaimed, putting your wand that you were playing with into your skirt. The teacher’s smile was not to abstain, she was undoubtedly amused at your behaviour, although, she got the wrong message. You were only excited to tell Junhui the message of Ainsworth behaviour in class that was amusing. “It’s nothing like that! Jun…please.”

“Well, the two of you seemed to be very close. One could only think so,” She was going to turn right and meaning she was going to the staff room because of the number of books she had. “Eat well, I’ve got to go drop these books.”

You couldn’t believe you talked to her nicely after these past two years.

You nodded. “You too. Bye, professor. Have a good day!”

The words slipped out before you could stop them. Though, there was no regret in them, only slight embarrassment that you would be soft around the Gryffindor. Oh, you couldn’t help it. She’s done many things for you, you could only do the bare minimum. McGonagall’s face softened. She didn’t say anything back, so you turned around and kept walking down the hallway, the aroma of food filling your nostrils quickly.

“L/N.”

You whipped your head at her. She was rooted in the same spot, her hands holding the books as if she was going to put them on the floor right then. There was an unreadable expression on her face that even you couldn’t decipher for the life of you. It was like McGonagall was questioning everything at that moment until she covered the look with a smile.

“Yes, professor?”

“If you ever need to talk again, I’m always here for you.”

You blinked a couple of times.

The nights of crying in her office were soon brought back, clenching your heart tightly. That was two years back but it felt like a lifetime away from the warm sense of her office. She was so kind to you and all you’ve been was a rude student.

You still remembered not being able to sleep and going to hers or Snape’s office to sit there for a while just to bask in their safe presences before they would accompany you to the dorms again. It was crazy how you let it all go like it was nothing when in truth, every moment filled you with delight that someone was there for you besides Jun.

And then, you looked at her for the house she was in. That she was just a Gryffindor, that she was not worth your care or respect.

It was a betrayal at its finest.

“O-Of course, professor. I’ll see you tomorrow for class.” Your heart pulled itself as you stepped away, walking towards The Great Hall, the aroma no longer satisfying your senses. Instead, all you could do was drown in sorrow. That was the first time in years that you spoke to the woman like another human being. You still remember being in Dumbledore’s office the day after it happened.

FLASHBACK

“How can you let this happen, Professor Dumbledore?! How could you let such an occurrence happen to my daughter?!” your mother yelled as you held your father’s hand tightly. It felt like shame in there, you felt as if this was all your fault. Being sexually assaulted earned this trauma on you—one you couldn’t decipher then, but all you knew was that the worst came out of it and it brought the weakest side of you out. You hated it and you hated everyone. There was the thought that it could happen again.

“I apologise dearly, this shouldn’t have happened at all,” Dumbledore spoke calmly.

“Is this how you always handle situations like this, professor?” Jun’s father asked.

“Putting him in juvenile and serving time in Azkaban for a few years is not enough for you, Mr Wen?” Dumbledore questioned. “I have expelled him, he has no future at all now.”

“Her Quidditch Captain raped her and now you’re not offering anything to her. Counselling is the least you can do.” your mother yelled again. Tears pricked her eyes, drowning your heart in your stomach. Seeing her cry took a toll on you, one that felt like the worst burden in the world. You grabbed her wrist and pulled her to sit down beside you. It was quiet for a second.

The night was cold on October—it was evidently fall and the hushed breeze let in by Dumbledore’s window aroused the hairs on your skin to come to standing.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t protect you.” Your mother’s hands shook as she held your face. It was sadistic—the way that guy was making you all feel, the trauma he put you and your family through. An empty hole formed inside of you, destructing you painfully slow. The sobs that reeled from you didn’t feel enough. Nothing would feel complete, nothing felt right.

“It’s not your fault, Mum.” Your hand weakly grabbed hers as you looked into her eyes. She simply pulled you into her chest, letting the two of you sob. She knew how broken you were from it because for once, you were genuinely crying sad tears in front of her. “It’s not your fault, don’t cry.”

“I know but you didn’t deserve that. At all. You’re the sweetest girl I know and you got—I can’t even think how traumatic that could’ve been.”

“It is truly such a thing nobody deserves—getting their body taken advantage of without permission. I am extremely sorry you have to receive such pain, Ms L/N. We have offered your daughter counselling. She has rejected it kindly.” Dumbledore continued.

“You rejected it?” your father asked. “I demand you go.”

“Dad, I can’t,” you said, looking back at your father. Talking about it would only make you feel pressured and labelled.

“I don’t care, Y/N. You have to go—”

“Don’t force her. She doesn’t have to go if she doesn’t feel comfortable.” your mother said. “But—you have to, at least for two weeks, okay?”

Your breath hitched in your throat but you nodded. You had to do it for her and maybe, you might be able to cure. You had hope.

“I assure you Madam Pomfrey will take great care of her,” McGonagall told, nodding at your parents with a small smile.

“I hope so, Minerva or else I’ll have to be filing a complaint to take Hogwarts down.” Mrs. Wen started. She was definitely a force not to be reckoned with, she was powerful among the Ministry of Magic. Even in her own house where she demanded what she wanted when she wanted it. You’ve witnessed it yourself.

“Also, the teachers are always here so don’t feel burdened to go tell them what you’re feeling at any time.” Dumbledore told and your family seemed to have taken that bit a bit too seriously.

—

“Severus, I don’t care what you think but you need to be taking extra care for her. My daughter is everything to me.” your mother said.

“You have my word, Mrs L/N. I will watch over her, no doubt.”

“We’re serious, we’re depending on you for her journey to better mental and physical health—oh, come on, Severus. Look at what that boy did to her, look at her bruises.” your mother pleaded.

You stayed silent like she had told you to be.

“If you are asking me to take special care of her, I, unfortunately, cannot do that for you. She is like any other student to me, I—”

“Please. Give her some lack for a few months and take good care of her. I assure you that’s all she needs.” your father interrupted, his eyes glowing.

Your bloodline ran with Slytherins and above all, your parents and Snape went to school at around the same time.

Snape looked over at you, his cold eyes unfailingly bringing light into you. They had convinced him.

“Don’t worry about her.”

FLASHBACK ENDED

You roamed the halls with the reminder of those days, your shoulders weighing heavier than a minute ago.

“Hey! Hey! Wait! Wait up! Pretty Slytherin Captain, WOAH—!” A scream rang through the empty hallway. Before you could turn to see who it was, they thudded into you on the left corridor, causing you to almost knock over to the ground.

“Man, what the—”

You stopped when your eyes met with Hirai Momo’s.

“What do you want?” you asked, putting on your blank face. Momo seemed jumpy, considering your thoughts into if she was drunk or not. There was no scent of alcohol this time so it gave it away. You were wondering what she was doing here instead of being at The Great Hall where she would be with him.

“I just- I just—damn, that was a long run,” she said, puffing out large breaths as she located her hands on her knees.

“Alcohol damages the lungs.” you slipped out smartly but you didn’t expect her to let out a giggle at your words.

“Thank you for that by the way. Sniffing my drink.” Momo stood up fully, something folded in her hands. Her smiled weaved you in like a distraction.

“I didn’t have much of a choice, did I?” you said, shrugging.

“Uh, I don’t really remember, remember?” she laughed, an attempt to reduce the tension in the space between the two of you.

“Why are you here?” you asked straight away.

“Right!” She passed you the folded parchment but it hung from her grip as you didn’t try to take it from her. You found it a waste of time to be talking to her when you knew exactly what it was. Could he have been dumber than to think you would accept such a thing?

“What is this? An apology letter from Joshua?”

She laughed again. “Oh my God, no! It’s your test paper! You dropped it the other day. Although, an apology letter would be too far.”

You were enlightened, grabbing the parchment at your wrongness. You didn’t expect a Hufflepuff to be so easygoing—but since when did you know? Just now. Thanks to the fact that you never mingled with others in different houses. Even those who opened their hands for you. Like McGonagall.

You never realised how much of a pain-in-the-ass you were until that moment. Momo treated you kindly and you refused to even look into her eyes for a second longer because it made you seem weak. It did not. You were just discriminative of other houses.

“I agree,”

“Honestly, I thought you would be scarier to approach than this. Was everyone lying to me?” Momo asked, her smile brighter than the Sun. The way her eyes crinkled made you think that she was in fact completed of natural beauty.

“Yeah, well, I need to go tell my team to jump on you for even thinking about talking to me after this. So don’t be surprised when it happens,” you told as you folded the test paper. You slipped in into your Ghoul Studies textbook, silence flying from Momo’s side. You would sort it out later when you go back to your dorms.

You wondered why and then you realised what you said. She had to have been scared.

“Joking,” you said blankly and then continued walking down the hallway. The girl followed you, laughing.

“Please. I thought I made the biggest mistake of my life, I was so scared!”

“Yeah, your soul left you.” you agreed without an expression.

“It felt like it…! Hey, I just wanted to apologise—“

“For what?” You looked at her dead in the eyes. She didn’t falter one bit.

“Come on!” she exclaimed, dropping her smile as she stamped her foot charmingly on the tiled floor. “What Joshua did was so not cool! You know, he doesn’t shut up about you in the dorms but he doesn’t even know the inkling details about you?!”

Your stomach felt like it was full of butterflies—something you took seriously. Because when Momo said that, you didn’t feel like yourself. You heated up at the thought of him talking about you a lot.

“I tried to stop him that day but he was such an idiot and—“

“I know, I saw,” you interrupted her.

“I just hope you know, he’s extremely, super-duper sorry and I’m sorry that I didn’t slap him when he said that. He won’t stop looking at you from a distance and he’s just not himself these days.” Momo stopped at the entrance of The Great Hall, just at the side of the door so no one could see the opposite houses talking to each other. You respected her for doing so.

“Yeah, sure…he can come to me and apologise to me properly and I’ll think about it.” What a liar—you just want to talk to him again. No, I don’t—

Her eyes lit up. “Seriously?!”

“Does it look like I’m joking?”

“No, no! I was just making sure! Oh, thank God. I’ll tell him later tonight if I happen to bump into him, if not, tomorrow! Thanks so much!” Momo opened her arms.

You pursed your lips together. She quickly noticed, pulling her arms back together. “Right, you don’t do hugs. Ah! But thank you, I’ll see you around! Have a good day.”

“You too.”

Momo entered The Great Hall.

You tilted your head slightly, finding yourself going over the conversation in your head as you leaned against the brick wall. You felt light talking to the girl, she radiated the vibe that you could tell her anything and she wouldn’t judge you for it. You smiled. Maybe you should get to know the other houses and possibly, Joshua too.

And what the hell is this thing I have for Joshua? I know I am not falling for his ass.

—

He managed to weave into your dreams in the dead of a full moon night. How did your mind let it happen? It felt so calm and this dream soothed your mind into relaxation you never felt around the boy. It felt like the discrimination between Slytherins and Hufflepuffs didn’t even exist. Like you were away from the real world, just the two of you basking each other’s warm presence, fulfilling each other with comfort.

Joshua laid in your lap in a meadow of tall sunflowers, sun rays dawning on you two, too bright to be real. The two of you were sitting on a picnic mat with food set aside, seemingly have eaten already.

You couldn’t feel anything. No sadness was felt, it was like everything was going right for once in your life. However, there was a slight difference in you.

Scars...your old scars that used to make you feel disgusting. He took your hand and kissed them. One by one. Slowly. While smiling at you. And then, you shot up in your bed.

“Fuck—” You grabbed at your scalp. Sweat beaded your forehead as you frantically looked around your room, your heart racing from the dream. It felt so real, so real you had to look around to blink back the reality in front of you. The boy had easily milked his way into your dreams—how? How?!

You thrust yourself off your bed, quickly finding your slippers beneath on the dark oak floor.

“Ssh!” one of your roommates said in her sleep. You didn’t mind her, leaving the room immediately. You went down to the luxurious common room your dormitory had to offer. A few students were still awake, not to your surprise, other seventh years. You looked at the time. It was two in the morning.

You nodded in acknowledgement at one of the seventh years prior to leaving the dormitory. It wasn’t permitted, of course. But you didn’t care at this point, things were going too far. It seemed like even when you were trying to console yourself that this wasn’t real, that it wasn’t happening for real, the rush of the possibility of having feelings for Joshua would always beat it. Truth be told, you still had the slight anger for him because of what he had done in the past and that included the chocolate situation from the beginning. You didn’t like how he was so easygoing around you but then again, why did he need to be scared of you? You guys were classmates, he didn’t need to cower in your presence.

Ahhh! I don’t know! Why am I like this?!

The darkness welcomed you once again as you sauntered the hallways aimlessly. The coldness brought you in like a friend you didn’t like and you started to regret not wearing something to cover you. You were only dressed in a nightdress, silky and soft to the touch.

“Lumos,” you whispered, ignoring the harsh words from the prior-sleeping portraits. Your mind was finally clearing a little.

“L/N? Is that you, young lady?” a cold voice asked. You stopped in your tracks, feeling the hairs on your skin rise. You reached your wand outwards a little, meeting Snape’s face.

Screwed.

“You know the rules. No roaming after hours. Come with me to my office for your detention slip.” he said.

You sighed. “Come on, professor. You know me!”

“Minerva is in the next hall. It’s either you get it from me or receive multiple from her and points off the house.” he whispered,

You didn’t answer back, you just followed him to his office. Detention seemed to be no remedy to your problem, however, a walk to Snape’s office was one because you felt like your head was clearing even more. Maybe you couldn’t come to a conclusion to this cluster of feelings but you were at least feeling like you got fresh air in your lungs.

Even though a detention slip was now in your hands because of your careless actions.

You sat in front of him, the slightest feeling of dissatisfaction nagging you at the back of the head still. The thought of his lips on your skin kept playing on repeat in your head, an aimed loop to make you fragile.

“What do you think about a Slytherin falling for someone else who isn’t a Slytherin?” you asked suddenly. Silence occupied the space, Snape’s eyes sparkling into yours. His office already felt empty as it was with no fire lit up to warm it up and only moonlight shining inside. You were sitting in nearly utter darkness. “You know what—“

Snape sighed. “I obviously don’t get paid enough for this. How bad are we talking about this crush?”

You gasped. “Crush? No! It’s just— I had a dream that I and he were together and it’s really bothering me. It’s so weird of me telling this to a teacher, right?”

“You have no idea how many confessions I got from Pansy herself this week about her obsession with Malfoy itself. Who is the kid?”

You felt the inkling of curiosity from Snape.

“Joshua Hong...”

You expected no reaction from the teacher but he raised a brow and that in itself was a lot for you. It felt like he was really taking in what you were saying and you knew you were lucky to be on his good side. Though, a teacher is always a teacher. “A Hufflepuff? Hm, work out your own way.”

You weren’t going to get anywhere with this, especially with Snape. He was too closed off for your own good, you rather have a girl-to-girl chat about this with another teacher whom you were comfortable with. Though there doesn’t seem to be a teacher that you could talk about this to. Which is why you got up, letting the chair skid back a little.

“Fine, professor. Have a lovely night.”

You exited his office with the detention slip in your hand. “Lumos.”

Walking down the hallway, you felt a little heavier. The dream was still fresh on your mind and it messed you up so bad on the inside. Obviously, you were not used to this kind of dream, especially from a Hufflepuff. If the dream was rather about Jun or another Slytherin, the two of you would laugh about it. But the dream had to be about him. His lips, were so plump and soft when they touched your skin. It was like you could feel it.

Was it just admiration for his beauty? Was a question that remained unanswered. Although having his lips pressed against yours was something you wanted to feel too, did it answer the previous question?

A figure was walking down the hallway, causing you to shine your wand at the person. You gulped immediately. How was this even possible?!

You had to be seeing things!

Seeing him as a hallucination could also prove to be just as bad. But you didn’t want to believe it.

Joshua jumped back. “I’m only here to see Professor Sprout! I came here with permission!”

“Why the hell are you up so late?” you asked

Joshua was shocked least to say that you were standing there in front of him. You were too, you were also better at hiding it. He paused for a second, gawking into your eyes. Dressed in simple striped blue pyjamas, his black hair slightly tousled, you were brought back to your dream. His divinely heavenly smile, the way the sun sparkled in his eyes, how you looked at him like he was the entire world—

He avoided eye contact as you welcomed his sincerity through. Joshua was just a package of sincerity in himself. He was not one ounce of bad blood but you treated him like he was.

“I had to deliver a complaint from a student…” he explained quietly.

“This can’t be a coincidence.” you pressed on. You didn’t mean anything bad when you said that, you were rather talking to yourself because of the dream you just had. His lips looked just like they did in the dream.

“Oh, come on, L/N. I’m not stalking you, okay, I just—“ You acted out of instinct, suddenly cornering him against the wall. You forced your eyes to look at his pretty face, letting the butterflies come in and settle in your stomach. There was no way you had him cornered against the wall right now but you had to see this for sure.

“it seriously can’t…this really can’t be.”

Joshua was red under the grip of your wand as he looked to the side. It was like you were contradicting what you said earlier about him touching you. But you could tell Joshua Hong liked it from the redness of his face and his completely relaxed figure against the wall. So you continued.

You pushed a knee beside his left thigh, locking him in place.

“I’m not—“

“Be quiet,” you whispered, drawing his face closer with one hand, examining it in full detail. Whether this was a hallucination or not, you only started accepting the fact that this boy was actually pretty. Your heart was speeding just looking at his face. You forgot about the problems you had with him as your eyes followed his nose, lips, hair and back to his eyes, all defined and sculpted by the heavens to fit him. If someone had told you he was an angel from heaven, you wouldn’t question it one bit.

Finally getting a hold of yourself within the lost maze, you threw his face to the side, your fingers slightly piercing his cheeks. You moved off of him.

Joshua furrowed his eyebrows at you. “What was that about—“

“Your mum.” You left.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: u got to the end!!!

here's the poll as promised, i'll make my decision in 24 hrs

TAGLIST: @just-here-to-read-01 @lixiel0ver @tyongf-sunflower99 @09yyeol @17milktea @meltinghershey @xxxxrvexxxx @violets-are-you @amethyistheart @yourfavoritefreakyhan @ddaengpotate @mythicalamphitrite @kkooongie @wooziwooziwoozioioioi @blissedjoon @raevyng @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan @marvelouslimelight @xuimhao @ti--red @sevenpersona @renjunphile @ak6ko @sbnchaos @seungcheolswife

#joshua seventeen #seventeen joshua #joshua x reader #joshua fic #joshua imagine #seventeen #seventeen imagine #seventeen fic #kpop #kpop imagine #kpop fic #kpop seventeen #joshua hong fluff #hogwarts au #kpop x hogwarts #seventeen x hogwarts

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gyuwoncheol · 7 months

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Stay

Pair: Joshua x gn!reader

Genre: loss of a loved one

Summary: Joshua’s nightmares are suddenly better than his reality

Warnings: pain, sadness, nightmares, mentions of physical illness and death— Please don’t read if these things trigger you. Your mental health is most important! (No, Joshua does not die.)

WC: 1.5k

Author’s Note: this was so painful to write but also oddly healing after. Special shout out to darling Lina @seokminkisser for reading through this and assuring me I still made sense 💛 THANK YOU!

“Hey, I'll be okay.” Joshua heard you call out faintly before he shot up from the bed, startled, out of breath and a cold sweat breaking on his forehead and back.

He looked at your empty side of the bed and he shuddered in fear before tears began to prickle his eyes

“Baby?” You cooed very softly from the love seat that was positioned right by the window in your bedroom. Joshua blinked once to clear his vision from the tears that threatened, then twice to refocus his gaze. By then you had already stood up from where you’d been adoring the moon that peeked on your window to make your way to the bed.

The way your cold hand cupped his very warm cheek had him feeling a chill down his spine, his eyes stared blankly at yours despite the very dim glow of the moon and the nightlight in your bedroom.

“Another one of your nightmares?” You asked

Joshua was still shaking, his brain still trying to wrap around everything, you saw his lips tremble, his eyes getting glossy again. You let your free hand grip his right one, squeezing gently like you do when you tell him you love him.“I’m here, hun. It’s okay.”

You didn’t bother asking him what he dreamt of, you already knew what it was about. He had it all the time, a recurring nightmare where he loses you. It always started the same way: him running into your hospital room as you gave him a smile full of love. It's weak, but it still reaches your eyes. And he always brought flowers, the most colorful ones he'd see in the shop. It was his way to brighten those 4 walls that always smelled of alcohol and sterilized devices. But his flowers weren't actually the only pop of color in the otherwise very bleak, very white room. You still had your multitude of bright metallic balloons, a handful of stuffed toys, and of course, all the get well soon messages written in very colorful papers that your boyfriend stuck on the wall, some even had glitters. Even though he was the ‘hobbyist’ in his group of friends, it actually really surprised him just how artsy those group of very rowdy, very loud and very tall boys got. Unfortunately for the both of you, despite the rainbow presence everyone tried to bring in, the fact remained the same: you were losing color as you laid in that gurney. He should've gotten used to the image of you with all those machines hooked on your frail body, it had been your 3rd month there anyway.

In soite of having dreamt this almost every night, and he means every. single. night., he still can't remember the part where it all takes a bitter turn for the worst. One moment he's fixing up your blanket, and then the scene completely jumps to you convulsing and then every single machine starts to beep an abnormal amount. He'll literally see you gasping for air and then in the blank of an eye, he sees you take your last deep breath before the notorious green line on the screen completely flattens.

Tonight though felt oddly different, not at all like any of his past nightmares. You didn't die. In fact, it was the first one he had where you spoke to him, telling him you'd be alright. He should be happy, right? First nightmare that actually had a good ending? But he wasn't. He weirdly wasn't. So maybe he did get used to his nightmares, because why was this infinitely weirder than all the others that had you dying.

"Josh?" you called to him again.

Did he really just hear you? So you really didn't die this time? Now it was just all feeling like a fever dream to him. He thinks he felt you brush his hair away from his face, a very gentle gaze in your eyes as you looked at him like he was so fragile. You wish you could change his nightmares, wish he never had it to begin with. But alas, there's only so much you can control. You saw how he shuddered in his sleep, grunting and wincing in pain as he battled his subconscious. You tried to shake him awake, call his name repetitively but neither one worked. So you waited, wide awake— not that you could sleep anyway— knowing he'd eventually startle himself awake.

Your thumb continuously caressed his cheek, hoping it would help him snap out of his daze and bring him back to you. "Baby, I'm still here. Breathe," you coaxed slowly as you saw him close his eyes shut, as if willing himself to listen to your voice. To your dismay, you only saw his lashes get wet before a stream of tears finally flowed down his cheeks. The blanket that was initially strewn when he woke up had now found its way clung tightly to his chest. You felt at a loss with what to do, you just wanted to comfort him, wanted him to know you were there for him. You just wanted him to feel you.

Joshua sobbed quietly, his dream still ingrained in his brain. The words you spoke repetitively rang in his ears, much louder than the ones you were actually trying to say as you desperately tried to hold his body against you.

"Josh, please stop worrying." You repeated a couple of times, increasingly getting more concerned that this particular nightmare had shaken him so much.

It wasn't til after a more violent sob that he finally sat a little straighter and a little bit more composed. You saw him wipe his cheeks hurriedly and you couldn't help but envelope him in a tight embrace, one that had him both feeling a comforting warmth and a sudden chill through his spine.

"I..." he started, clearing his throat momentarily, "I know you're here." The last word faltered as his lips trembled. "I can feel you." He was looking at your side of the bed and god, did you wish he could actually see you cause you are there. You're staring right at him. You needed him to see you because you actually look like how you did when he fell in love with you three years ago in that bookstore. Your cheeks now had color, your hair wasn’t flat, and your normal weight was on. You looked nothing like the skin and bones that you were in that hospital bed in your last three months on earth. If anything, you looked most alive now.

"Why'd you say that in my dream tonight?" Joshua blinked away tears as he continued, "Y-you n-never say you're okay. You never say anything at all. Why are you suddenly okay?" He frustrated. It was your turn to close your eyes, not wanting to see how pained your boyfriend felt. He had that same look he had on that fated day seven weeks ago when the doctors all but confirmed to him his most dreaded news. "Is... Is this…” he paused to inhale deeply, “do I need to let you g-go? Because you'll be okay?"

Your passing had not been easy on him. Even though you were constantly in and out of the hospital and finally resided there in your last few months, he had always held out hope that one day you'd both still happily go home happy and healthy. Ever since you left, he's looked for you day and night, but Joshua only ever saw you in his dreams. And even though he'd see that line go flat every night, he braved through all of them if it meant he could see you.

But tonight, when the all too familiar plot suddenly changed, he feared the worst. He had always worried about you, that you didn't get to live life to the fullest. You both still had that planned trip to Italy after all. He felt you had regrets, worried that you had gone too soon for your own liking. So when he heard you say, "I'm okay," tonight, he was both comforted and scared. Comforted that his worries were wrong, but so incredibly terrified your presence would now be fully gone. That's how it worked, right? Joshua thought. Most souls stayed around because they had regrets, had unfinished business earthside, but when they've finished those and have found their peace with those they’ve left, they’re finally able to cross over to the place where all good things nice and happy exist. Right?

You saw him reach out to your bedside table, picking up the small picture frame of you. His hands ran though your image, the overwhelming feeling of pain and sadness and longing just crushing every bit of his broken heart to even tinier pieces. You did your best to wipe away his tears even though it really wouldn't work, but it was all you could attempt to do. "i love you," you whispered so desperately, a hand on top of his.

"Please don't go." Joshua's voice cracked, "Cause you might be okay, but I never will be."

a/n: i apologize for any pain caused. Pls don’t hate me. Reblogs are deeply appreciated and my inbox is always open for feedback/chat! 🤍

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stayteezdreams · 4 months

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Secret Santa {Svt; Choose Your Ending}

Plot: You receive surprising gifts from a secret Santa, each one containing what could only be seen as a confession.

Pairings: Choose Your Own Ending; Jeonghan; Joshua; Wonwoo; and/or Woozi x Gn!Reader

A/n: Because it's hard to write for so many people in one fic, some members are not mentioned. And for those who might have missed it, I did a poll a while back to figure out who to do the endings for. Also, I was rushing to finish this at like Midnight before it's release day (aka Christmas), so sorry if its a bit rushed in some places, or I missed some typos.

Warnings: Some angsty moments, mentions of unrequited love. A kiss in Jeonghan's and Wonwoo's endings.

Words: ~2.5-6.1k (depending on how many endings you read)

You took a breath of anticipation as Seungkwan held out the hat for you. Reaching in, you let your hand scoop through the folded papers a few times before you grabbed one.

Pulling it out, you hid the paper behind your hand as you read it, 'Seungkwan'. Crumpling up the paper in your hand, you nodded at Seungkwan before he moved on to Jihoon beside you. You hoped your face was as blank, as you attempted to hide your reaction, giving nothing away.

After everyone received a name, Seungkwan briefly went over the whole idea of your Secret Santa exchange again.

You and some of the others were heading to a cabin for a winter holiday to celebrate Christmas before taking off time to spend with family.

Before heading to the cabin you had to get your person three gifts for the first three days of your holiday.

During those three days, you have to secretly leave one gift for them to find each day. You can leave them at their door, in their room or under the tree. On the fourth day, everyone would guess who their secret Santa is. If you guess correctly you win a prize and if anyone gets caught leaving a present they get punished. Those who were not guessed as being someone's Secret Santa would win a prize as well.

As everyone parted ways with an excited buzz between all of you, you excitedly began planning what to get Seunkgwan before you all left for your trip.

The few days leading up to your departure to the cabin came and went, and you managed to find gifts for Seungkwan fairly easily. Things you knew he would like, but would struggle with identifying who got them.

As soon as you all got to the cabin everyone began fighting over rooms. And as they argued, Jihoon caught your eye and shrugged his head towards the stairs. Understanding his silent meaning, the two of you made your escapes as you selected rooms and locked yourself in before anyone could try and take them from you.

Quickly, you took out Seungkwan's presents and hid two of them in the closet, while taking the first one and discreetly putting it in your pocket. It was small enough that you hoped you would be able to drop it off at his door without being noticed.

After taking some time to unpack your clothes, you began to head out, hoping to figure out what to have for lunch before you all went out to explore the surrounding property.

Stepping out of your room, you look down as you felt something hit your foot. A small long box was sitting in front of your door. Picking it up, you saw a label with your name on it. You smiled as you realized this person had the same idea as you.

If you wrote the name yourself, you might give yourself away. So, print out some labels with their name, and voila, a tag that can't be traced.

Heading back into your room, you excitedly tore the wrapping paper off and opened the box.

Inside was two necklaces, each one containing half of a heart that fit together perfectly.

"Couple necklaces?" You muttered softly as your heart hammered in your chest and confusion flooded your mind.

You knew some of the boys had couples rings or necklaces with each other, but if you were to have one with them, surely it would feel...different?

Seeing a small note in the bottom of the box, you took it out and opened it to see a short typed out note.

'I cant help but hope you would give me the other half.'

You felt breathless for a moment as you re-read the note a dozen times.

"Is this a confession?"

Your mind continuously found it's way to one person, no matter how many times you tried to shake the thought, it always came back to them. But you had no way of knowing it was them, and what if it wasn't? What if it was someone else?

Taking a few breaths, you placed the necklaces and note back in the box and put them in your suitcase. There was no real way to know the real meaning behind the necklaces, maybe the next present will reveal it for sure?

Trying to steady yourself, you didn't want to let your nerves get in the way of your day. And you didn't want to make yourself seem nervous to the others.

Leaving your room, you distracted yourself by trying to figure out which room Seungkwan was staying in. You hid your actions as an attempt to see if everyone was getting ready to go out. Managing to locate his room, you waited until he headed downstairs before dropping off the present and heading down after him.

As much as your group activities for the rest of the day did distract you, your thoughts remained solely on the necklaces and anonymous message as you lied in your bed that night begging sleep to take you.

The next morning, talk of everyone receiving their presents, only brought back your nervous thoughts. You watched everyone to see if they glanced at you, looked at you too long, or seemed too interested in your presents.

Even after you told them you received a necklace, no one seemed overly interested or suspicious.

Once again your thoughts were luckily distracted as you all spent your day out in the snow. Sledding with Jeonghan, Joshua, Jun and Mingyu. Snowman building with Jihoon, Wonwoo, Seungkwan and Dino. And then hot cocoa and good food.

By the time you had arrived back at the cabin later in the day, you had nearly forgotten about the necklaces completely.

After helping Mingyu unpack the cars, you headed inside, only to find Wonwoo teasing and laughing at Jun.

"What's going on?" You asked in curiosity.

Wonwoo smiled at you as he waved you over, acting as though he had a secret.

"I caught him leaving his present under the tree."

You gasped softly as you gently punched Jun's shoulder.

"Who was it for?"

Jun just avoided your eyes as Wonwoo leaned in closer, "Jeonghan."

You grinned as you shook your head, "So who chooses his punishment?"

"Woozi hyung." Jun said with a soft groan.

He put his hands together and pleaded with you, "Please just don't tell him who it was for I don't want Jeonghan finding out."

You and Wonwoo looked at each other as you both hummed, "I suppose." You said halfheartedly as Jun frowned.

Wonwoo grinned and teased him as he left to go find Jihoon. Turning to you he smiled softly, "Have you successfully dropped your present off today?"

Your eyes slightly widened at this but you tried to play it off, poorly, as Wonwoo chuckled, "Better do it soon."

"Shh." You shushed him before you ran up to your room, glancing back you saw him watching you for a moment and your heart skipped. Was he waiting for me to get to my room?

Letting out a soft sigh as you wondered if your Secret Santa was Wonwoo, you stepped into your room only to freeze as you saw a bag on your pillow.

Your stomach clenched with both excitement and anxiety as you walked over to the bag. Slowly reaching in, you felt something soft in your hands. Pulling it out, you smiled at the cute rabbit plushie that had been inside. Your eyes landed on a rolled up paper in its arms and your heart pounded hard in your chest.

Unrolling the paper, you wondered if it was more about this persons feelings, or maybe it held something more telling of who it was.

As you began reading he message, your stomach filled with anxious butterflies as you sat on the edge of your bed.

'I feel like I can only be confident in confessing my feelings in secret. Part of me hopes you never know its me, but a bigger part hopes you want it to be me. The fear of knowing your feelings has stopped me from confessing before. But I can't wait any longer. I know I have no control over how this ends. But I can hope it will be a happy ending.'

As you read the words over again, you found yourself hearing it in their voice. Closing your eyes you shook your head. It would only hurt so much more if it wasn't them. You could't put your hope in it being someone specific, you might only hurt yourself, and it wasn't fair to whoever it was leaving you these gifts.

Your chest was tight with anxiety as you feared things might get awkward with whoever had these feelings for you. Would you be able to get past it if you had no feelings for them? Would you be able to develop feelings for them?

You sat in silence as your mind ran wild with thoughts and worries before you suddenly remembered what you had come to your room for in the first place.

"Shit!"

You ran to get Seungkwan's second present before you realized you were still holding the note.

Rolling it back up, you placed it back in the bunnies arms and set it on your pillow. You gave it one last glance before retrieving Seungkwan's present and leaving.

After just barely managing to drop of Seungkwan's present in his room without getting caught, you made your way downstairs.

Spotting Jeonghan in the kitchen you felt your heart start to race a little a you took in a deep breath.

Spotting you he smiled brightly at you and your heart fluttered. 'What if it's him?'

Noticing he was getting out food for dinner, you looked out onto the patio to see Mingyu preparing to grill.

"Do you need help?" You asked and Jeonghan nodded.

"Sure, grab those ." He motioned his head at some packages of meat, so you walked over to retrieve them.

"Oh here, Y/n I'll help too!"

You turned at Joshua's voice as he appeared at your side, taking some of the packages. As his hands brushed yours, you felt your heart race again.

'It could be any of them couldn't it?'

As Joshua seemed unfazed by the contact, you tried to convince yourself you were over analyzing. You let out a soft sigh as you followed Jeonghan and Joshua outside. Your eyes wandered over all of them as your chest seemed to remain tight, an anxious feeling sat heavy on your shoulders for the rest of the night.

The next morning you woke up before everyone else, most likely because of your uneasy sleep. Dropping off Seungkwan's present at his door, you hid back in your room until you heard the other's begin to stir.

Today was your final full day at the cabin and you would be spending most of it at a nearby hot spring resort. Something your anxiety ridden body needed desperately.

You spent all night tossing and turning as you worried you would break someones heart, and have your own broken in return.

But as much as you feared this outcome, you had to admit, it felt nice knowing that one of them held those feelings for you. You loved all of them so much, that even knowing it might end sadly between one of you, you would be grateful for their feelings in the end. As much as you had accepted this resolve, your heart refused to stop hoping it was him.

The day itself was filled with relaxation and laughter, and you felt your stress begin to fade as you slowly accepted the fate yet to come.

Once you arrived back at the cabin after eating out. You took the time to shower before getting ready for bed. Your mind continued to wander to tomorrow, when it would be revealed who had feelings for you.

Exiting the bathroom, your eyes drifted to your bed, where you half-expected a new present to be sitting. Seeing nothing, you looked at the door as curiosity pulled you to check. Peaking out, you saw a wrapped box with an envelope sitting exactly where you had expected.

Looking around, but seeing no one, you let out a nervous breath and grabbed the present. Sitting down on your bed, you stared at it for a moment as you nervously bit your lip.

Finally opening the envelope, you pulled out and read the note with baited breath.

'I've tried to write this a dozen times but I cant find the right things to say. You'd think I would be better at writing down my feelings, but I'm too scared. Scared that you don't feel the same, scared that you will be disappointed that its me who feels this way. But I can't wait anymore. Tomorrow when you guess who your Secret Santa is, I know if will be who you want. Who you have feelings for. So all I can really do, is hope that tomorrow, it's my name that leaves your lips.'

Your eyes stung softly as you read the note, feeling the emotion from the person who wrote it. You knew how they felt. The fear and desperate hope that the person you love, loves you back. Guilt, worry and a hope of your own filled your whole being as you began to unwrap the final present.

Inside was a clear case, with a singular perfect preserved white rose. Beneath it was a small golden plaque with a date engraved on it.

As you stared at the date you furrowed your brow. "What does this mean?"

Suddenly, as if you had been electrocuted, you realized what the date meant. You remember where this flower came from.

You know who it is.

The next morning passed quickly as everyone ate breakfast chatting about the return home and discussion of everyone's presents. You remained fairly silent, watching everyone as you attempted to avoid looking too often at someone in particular.

Everyone seemed impatient to learn who their Secret Santa's were so it wasn't long before you were all gathered around the Christmas tree.

Mingyu, Jeonghan and Seungkwan all took their guesses. Mingyu guessed correctly that it was Dino who gifted him, while Jeonghan incorrectly guessed Seungkwan, when it was really Jihoon. You grinned as Seungkwan incorrectly guessed Mingyu as his Secret Santa, and you basked momentarily in your deception as he whined at you for guessing wrong.

When you realized it was now your turn to announce who you thought your secret Santa was, your heart began racing heavily as your chest grew tight.

Standing up as you faced everyone, you managed to keep your composure as your eyes scanned everyone briefly. They watched you in curiosity, only one of them truly understanding how intense this moment was. Only one of them knowing the importance and meaning behind the gifts your received.

Taking in a breath, you spoke confidently.

"I think my Secret Santa is-"

{Jeonghan's Ending}

Your eyes locked with his and you saw them light up, "Jeonghan."

There was a silent pause as the other's looked at him, none of them understanding the gravity of this moment.

Jeonghan nodded as a soft smile spread across his features.

Relief, excitement, and anxiety flowed through you all at once, it was almost overwhelming. The slowly growing grin on Jeonghan's face made your heart flutter, and chest grow warm.

The other's clapped as you guessed correctly, Seungkwan motioned for you to sit down, saying you'd get your prize for guessing correctly afterwards.

Dino rose to take his guess, and Jeonghan motioned over for you to now sit beside him on the couch where Dino had just been. Your's and Jeonghans eyes remained locked as you had a silent conversation before you sat down.

After taking a seat you glanced over at him to see him staring at you while trying to repress a smile. His eyes darted around your face as you saw how anxious he was.

You couldn't talk to him about the gifts or your own feelings until you were alone. But for now, you gently nudged him with your arm and gave him the slightest nod as you smiled. It was enough to tell him what he was desperate to know. His smile turned int a grin as he turned back to the others, though his mind was only on you.

Jeonghan silently willed the game to end, not caring that he made an incorrect guess about his own Secret Santa. He fidgeted with his hands nervously as he felt an anxious energy radiated through him. You were sitting right beside him, but he couldn't say anything, couldn't do anything, not yet. It was driving him crazy.

When the game finally ended, you followed Seungkwan, who gave you the choice of a variety of gift cards as your prize. All the while, he whined about not guessing you correctly as his Secret Santa.

You were patient, though your heart was beating unevenly in your chest. You could feel Jeonghan watching you from nearby as he waited for you.

Finally escaping Seungkwan as Mingyu came over to get his own prize. You approached Jeonghan, and before saying a single word, he grabbed your hand and dragged you up the stairs, not caring about the curious look Jun threw your way as you passed him.

Entering Jeonghan's room, he closed the door before pulling you into a hug. You were stunned at first, before you slowly wrapped your own arms around him.

"You guessed it was me because you wanted it to be right? Not just because I gave it away?"

You could hear the obvious anxiety in his tone and you let out a soft laugh as you nodded.

"Yes Jeonghan, I wanted it to be you. Even before you gave it away, I wanted it to be you."

He let out a sigh of relief as he tightened his grip on you momentarily. Pulling away, his eyes met yours and he let out a bashful chuckle. "I was so scared."

You chuckled, "Me too."

Overwhelmed, he pulled you back into a hug and you laughed. "I'm so happy, I don't know what to do." He admitted.

You laughed as you understood exactly what he meant.

"This is fine, this is perfect." You said softly as you hugged him back.

You remained like this for a few moments as your nerves settled. Jeonghan let out a sigh before he pulled away again. Placing his hands on either side of your face he stared at you for a moment, his eyes darted around your face.

"That day you gave me that flower it was at the solo video shoot. I was nervous about it and you came with me so I would feel better. Do you remember what you said?"

You thought for a moment before you shook your head, uncertain.

"You told me to keep it so I could remember that day and how well I did even though I was nervous."

You smiled as the memory came back and you nodded.

"But that's not the real reason I kept it. I kept it because that was the day I realized I had feelings for you."

Your eyes widened a bit as he said this an he gently caressed your cheek with his thumb.

You smiled, "So we fell for each other on the same day."

His own eyes widened as he tilted his head, "What?"

You nodded and let out a soft giggle, "That day when I was watching you, I realized that I had a crush on you. It felt so sudden, but it made so much sense."

He laughed as he spoke softly, his tone amazed, "The same day."

"I guess it was meant to be." You suggested with a grin.

"I guess it was."

He caressed your cheek gently again as your eyes locked. A knowing tension rose between you as his eyes darted to your lips.

Slowly, you both leaned in, eyes remaining locked before fluttering to a close when your lips connected. Your first kiss was slow and gentle, and it was perfect.

{Joshua's Ending}

You and Joshua were walking down the street together when you passed a vendor with flowers.

Unexpectedly, the vendor handed you a bouquet of white and pink flowers. You began to refuse, as you had no intention of buying flowers but they interrupted you with a smile.

"For you, for free. You two look like such a great couple, it makes my day better. I wish you happiness."

"Oh."

You and Joshua were both stunned by the vendors words, and you couldn't help the nervous butterflies that took over your stomach.

Joshua thanked the vendor a few times, insisting on paying but was refused. Finally walking off, you and Joshua shared a look in silence before breaking into laughter.

Jokingly, Joshua acted offended, "Why did you get the flower and not me?"

You laughed, "Because I'm prettier than you."

He gasped in offense and you giggled before pulling out a single white rose, one of the few in the bouquet.

Bowing dramatically you gave it to him and he repressed a laugh while taking it, bowing in return.

He smelled it and sighed dramatically, "Thank you."

Giggling at his response, you missed how he gazed at you with a adoring smile, his own stomach full of butterflies too.

"I think my secret Santa is, Joshua."

As your eyes met his, you saw him take in a shaky breath, as if he had forgotten to breath while watching you in anticipation.

A grin spread across his face as he nodded, acknowledging that you had guessed correctly. That it was him.

Your heart pounded with relief, excitement and nervous tension. The others clapped as you guessed correctly before Seungkwan was telling Jun it was his turn to guess.

Seeing Joshua tell Mingyu to scoot over, he ushered you to sit beside him. You smiled bashfully at him as he grinned at you, his eyes shining with joy and anxiety.

As you sat beside him, he caught your eye and you saw him question you wordlessly, unable to speak, but telling so much with just his eyes. You simply smiled and nodded, making him grin happily. You couldn't speak for now, but you knew it was enough until you could.

As you sat beside him, you felt him lean back a little as he stared at your profile, making you feel even more shy. Moving his arm, you felt him lay it on the couch behind you, you smiled softly to yourself as butterflies filled your stomach. You nervously felt your pocket, reminding yourself that you had the necklaces.

He continuously looked over at you throughout the rest of the Secret Santa guessing, and you occasionally caught his eye, causing the two of you to look away quickly with soft shy smiles.

When it was finally over, you saw that Joshua got stuck talking with Jeonghan, and not wanting to linger and make yourself appear suspicious or draw other's attention, you made your way to your room.

As you went up the staircase, you looked back, and saw Joshua watching you. When you made it into your room, you let out a deep sigh and tried to shake off your nerves. You knew Joshua saw you go into your room, and had a feeling he would be coming to find you as soon as he could.

You were right, because a few minutes later you heard knocking at your door. Opening it, you saw Joshua peak in and smile widely before quickly stepping into your room and shutting the door behind him.

There was a moment of silence between you as you looked at each other before you both laughed softly.

He shook his head, "I'm sorry I'm just nervous." He paused as he smiled at you, "I was really afraid you weren't going to say my name. That you didn't want it to be me."

You smiled softly as you shook your head, "I wouldn't want it to be anyone else."

He grinned as he stepped up to you, giggling softly out of nervous excitement. "God, I really like you Y/n, I feel like I can't explain it enough. But...please tell me you feel the same. I need to hear it."

"I really like you too Joshua. I have for a long time."

He grinned and let out a sigh of relief as he pulled you into a hug. Resting his head against your's he took the moment in as he gently rubbed his hand up and down your back as he held you tightly.

"Do you remember the day you gave me that flower?"

You hummed and nodded your head.

"That vendor who gave you the flowers mistook us as a couple. But I really wished we actually were. So that day I decided no matter what, we would end up together."

You grinned as you tightened your arms around him. "A lot of people have mistaken us for a couple, and every time I felt sad that we weren't."

"But we are now right?" He asked softly, hope evident in his voice.

"We are now." You agreed, your heart pounding heavily and nearly in sync with his.

As you pulled away, he looked down at you softly as he rose his brow. He watched as you reached into your pocket and pull out the couple's necklaces that he had gifted you.

He grinned as you unhooked one and placed it around his neck. Before you could put yours on, he took it from you and put it on for you.

Your eyes locked as you let out soft laughs before he gently caressed your cheek.

"Now it feel's official."

You fiddled with the necklace as he smiled softly at you. Leaning in, he pressed a kiss to your cheek, and then your forehead, before pulling you into another embrace.

{Wonwoo's Ending}

"Wonwoo."

When his name left your lips, Wonwoo looked stunned as he stared at you. After a moment as everyone looked at him for confirmation, he nodded his head softly.

The whole time you had been sat down with everyone, you noticed him avoiding looking at you as his mood seemed dampened. You wondered if he was so convinced you would not say his name, that this moment was truly unexpected.

He stared at you in silence, uncertain of what to do. So you smiled softly and gave him a small nod, hoping he would know that you chose him because you wanted too. To your relief, he seemed to understand as his smile widened and his ears noticeably changed color.

Once you sat back down as Dino rose to guess his Secret Santa, you looked over to see Wonwoo staring down at his hands with a smile on his face. You smiled softly as you waited impatiently to speak with him.

Your impatience became more prevalent when you kept seeing Wonwoo look over at you from the corner of your eye. His gaze seemed to burn right through you, and your heart only beat more uneasy every time.

Seeing him glance over at you again, you looked over and caught his eye. There was a momentary shock, as if electricity jolted through you as you stared at each other. The tension was strong, and you knew only the two of you could feel it.

You smiled softly at him, and his own smile grew in response. The two of you broke eye contact with shy smiles as you tried to focus on what was going on as Jeonghan teased Jun about being caught hiding his present.

When the secret Santa guessing was over, Wonwoo began to approach you but was suddenly called by Seungkwan for something. Looking back at you he quickly stepped forward, his hand gently taking yours as he whispered into your ear.

"Meet me down by the pond."

You nodded softly as he went over to Seungkwan. Nervously you put on your jacket and left the house, unnoticed by the others.

As you waited by the pond, you thought back on the day you gave Wonwoo the white rose.

You and the others had gone on a picnic that summer, to celebrate the end of their recent tour. As Wonwoo laid on the blanket, eyes closed, basking in the sun, you clipped a white rose from nearby and made your way over to him.

Carefully removing the thorns, you gently tucked the rose behind his ear. A soft smile crossed his face as he opened his eye to peak at you. You looked away as if innocent as he gently reached up and felt the flower.

"What's this for?"

You giggled softly, "A gift for sleeping beauty."

He chuckled at your words knowing you were unaware just how much your actions affected him.

You had no idea he had kept the flower, or that it had meant anything to him enough to keep it.

Lost in the memory of that day, you hadn't heard Wonwoo approach. He stopped nearby as he admired you as you stared out at the frozen pond. His heart was pounding in his chest as he took a deep breath.

You said his name. That was all he wanted, and more than he thought he deserved. He would not mess this up, he couldn't, you were all he wanted for so long.

"Y/n."

You turned at the sound of your name, heart pounding as you saw Wonwoo standing behind you.

You smiled at him and he walked up to you. Reaching up he adjusted your hat so that it covered your ears.

"Are you cold?"

You shook your head and he nodded before taking another step closer. He stared at you intensely, making your nerves rise.

"You said my name."

You nodded, "I did."

"Was it because... you knew it was me, or...because you wanted it to be me?"

You smiled softly, "Both. I remembered the flower so I knew it was you, and I was so relieved that it was."

"Relieved?"

"You're the only one I have feelings for, I was afraid it was one of the other's first."

"You- have feelings for me." It wasn't so much a question, as a confirmation of something he really hoped was true.

You nodded as you tilted your head, "Did you really not know?"

He let out a soft chuckle, "I thought you might, but I managed to convince myself I was imagining it."

You laughed as you shook your head, "Well you weren't. I really do."

He smiled as he reached out and took your hand. "Did you not know I had feelings for you either?"

You hummed as you looked down at your hands. "I really wasn't sure. Sometimes I thought it felt like you did, but you are just really nice to me in general."

He chuckled, "I should have been more obvious then."

You shook your head, "It's okay, it doesn't matter now. Now I know."

He took another step closer as he seemed to study your face.

"Why did you keep the rose?"

He tilted his head in thought as he smiled. "Because it was that day I fully understood how much I liked you. So I kept it to remember that moment."

You grinned, "So that's how long you've liked me?"

He chuckled softy, "I think I liked you before that, I just didn't fully realize it until that moment."

As you smiled brightly up at him he couldn't resist reaching up and cupping your face. His thumb gently brushed across your bottom lip as he smiled softly.

"I get to keep you forever now right?"

You grinned as your heart fluttered, "Is that what you want?" He nodded as he smiled. "Then yes, because I want that too."

His smile widened at your response as he stepped closer, closing the distance between you as he pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

{Woozi's Ending}

You felt his eyes on you as you walked to the center of the group. His hands were clasped together tightly as he waited impatiently for you to guess. He silently pleaded for you to say his name. If any other name left your lips, his heart would break.

"Jihoon."

He let out a soft breath of relief as he closed his eyes momentarily in relief. The other's saw it as a sigh of defeat, thinking he had wanted to fool you with his presents. None of them really knowing what was truly going on between you.

As he met your eyes, he nodded in confirmation, trying not to give any of his emotions away, wanting to keep them for just you when you were alone.

His eyes followed you as you sat back down. Looking over at him, your eyes locked and you smiled softly at him. It wasn't a smile of pity, or rejection, but of barely subdued happiness. He felt his chest tighten as he swallowed, repressing the urge to steal you away from the others at that moment.

When the guessing game was over, Jihoon stood just behind you as Seungkwan listed off the available gift cards as the prizes for guessing correctly.

You felt his presence right behind you as his chest nearly pressed against your back. You could feel the hairs on the back of your neck rising as you felt his eyes burning into your profile.

Grabbing a random gift card, too distracted to really think about it, you remained still, watching as Jihoon grabbed one as well, before he stepped away from you.

Turning, you immedietely met his eyes and he seemed to suddenly grow nervous. He glanced around, seeing the other's begin to get distracted as he motioned his head towards the stairs.

You followed him up the stairs and into his room, not knowing or really caring if anyone noticed.

When you were alone in his room, there was a silent tension that hung in the air before Jihoon finally spoke.

"Did the rose give it away?"

You smiled softly as you sat down on the edge of his bed, he slowly came over to sit beside you as you answered.

"It did. But in case you're worried, I wanted it to be you before that."

He smiled as he played with his hands, "Really?"

You nodded with a soft giggle. "I actually thought my crush was obvious."

He scratched his neck nervously as he smiled a bit wider. "I thought the same about my crush."

Your eyes widened a bit, "Really?"

He laughed and nodded, "See, it's not just me whose oblivious."

You chuckled, "I guess you're right."

A short moment of comfortable silence passed before you spoke again.

"I didn't think you'd actually keep any of those flowers you know."

Jihoon grinned as you both thought back to that day.

It was his birthday, and though he had received various flowers from different companies and brands, you still bought him a bouquet yourself.

Even with the other flowers, he still felt touched by yours. He told you it was the first time he had received flowers from someone close to him, rather than just from companies or for PR.

Because he was touched by your gift, you told him he had better keep them forever. And though it was meant as a joke, he took it as a promise.

"Keeping the whole bouquet would be difficult so I just kept the one rose." He sad softly with a smile, "It was enough to remind me of that day."

"You were really that touched that I bought you flowers?"

He chuckled, "It was more that it was a gift from you."

You smiled teasingly, "So you really liked me that much, huh?"

He chuckled,"What do you mean? I still like you that much. If not more."

You giggled as you looked down at your hands shyly. Your heart jolted when he reached over and slipped his hands into yours.

Meeting his eyes again he grinned softly at you, "I don't know what you do to me that makes me so bad with words. But, I really have never felt this way before, and I don't think I ever will again."

"I think you're pretty good with words."

His smile softened as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your cheek before resting his forehead against yours.

"I have so much I want to say to you but it might take some time for me to get it out right."

You grinned, "That's okay, I'll wait. Happily."

xx End xx

Requested Tag: @dinossaurz

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