#just why does it make me cry so much

[a-little-lost-in-my-own-head]

I knew Lin Shu will die, even when I watched Nirvana in Fire for the first time. I knew it now even better, since I was rewatching it. And yet, why does it always hurt anyway?

#lang ya bang #nirvana in fire #lyb #mei changsu #lin shu #episode 54 #why do i always cry #and jingyan naming the new army after lin shu #and the fact that he left the pearl at his memorial tablet #HE LEFT IT AT THE TABLET #HE LEFT THE PEARL WITH LIN SHU #BECAUSE IT ALREADY BELONGS TO HIM #just why does it make me cry so much #same as word of honor #so cruel #so cruel to me

[kyeterna]

These GMO's are getting out of hand, now they are making the eggs adorable

#qsmp #tallulah #i love her so much if she dies my therapist will be hearing about this #i feel so sick she is so cute I cant do this I would die kill and live for her #she is just an egg why does she make me have feelings #kicking screaming and crying #sketchterna

[brown-little-robin]

あ

#Robin processes emotions on main #already I am struggling with studying Japanese #not with the language itself so much. I'm making progress on that #but with this horrible kind of anxiety #I writhe not being the best at things that I'm trying to do. I writhe wondering if I should just give up. #this is why I had a horrible time studying Greek in high school as well: can't know it well enough fast enough #it's like I'm dying a little every day convincing myself no it's FINE not to know everything right away. it's OKAY. #it's okay if you stop learning Japanese in the future and it's okay if you keep learning Japanese. it's okay it's okay it's— #hhhhhhhhhhhh #it's such a complicated language it's making my stomach hurt right now thinking about how I want to learn kanji but it's So Much #and I don't know HOW to learn it #I've never really learned a language before (Greek does NOT count) and I'm learning all the complexities of the Japanese language and going #going oh....... this is........ actually extremely much...... and I'm never going to be a native speaker....... #I'm trying So Hard to embrace dying a little to my perfectionism every day but it's HARD. WAILS #No one Told me learning a language would make me want to cry because it's simply impossible to master!!!! #WAH!!!! #I'm trying to keep sight of the fact that it's not about my pride it's about having fun and embracing Small challenge and Small rewards #I really do feel so happy every time I recognize a word or understand the grammar when watching anime #it's just thinking about the Entire language that's psyching me out #Robin learns Japanese

[thebirdandhersong]

alas babes I literally cannot defend this man's name anymore except in the name of ignorance which. you can only claim ignorance for so long

#we established boundaries! no texting! limited contact! no teasing! #and what does he do the day i get sick. text me AND tease me through text #he's texted five times since (as in initiated conversation) and like. yeah i mean he's abnormally clueless but considering we had a whole #conversation where i explicitly said hey. i NEED the space. i need space if we're going to keep being friends #this is all a bit much :-) #thankfully i am 90% over him so this is not as painful as it would've been last month but sheeeeesh #i can't even defend him to my friends at this point because when i show them the texts they go what the actual hey is going on #i don't know if it's a matter of ignorance or lack of consideration or him trying to make things go back to normal #(except 'normal' for him was the time when i was crying like every day because i couldn't handle the emotional intimacy #of our strange friendship) or just sheer carelessness but mannnn what a situation #he told me that if he crosses a line to let him know and he'll course correct which like. yeah i mean i WAS thankful for that #but at the same time why is it my responsibility to draw the line why aren't YOU helping observe the line that #i drew earlier this month what is going ONNNN

[mars-ipan]

danganronpa is so fucking crazy bc it’s like “hi. this is a game series with a fucking amazing premise. unfortunately the writing sucks and is bad and you will spend half the time going ‘eugh why did they write that’ but you will play the whole thing anyways and get attached to your favorite characters and cry when they inevitably die. also it is filled with romance subplots that will stay in your brain forever” HUH??????

#marzi speaks #like. dr sucks but i like it. #but it sucks #but then like. there’s just??? so much in-depth romance and it makes me want to cry??? #like. like. thh. asahina + sakura (so sorry lesbians i do not know their ship name). they are so cute and then they are so tragic #and ishimondo. GODDDDD ishimondo. you get to go ‘oh HELL yeah’ for a chapter and then they make you HURT #even like. makoto w/sayaka. start of the betrayal girlfriend trend. love it #and even toko and togami are interesting!!! like they will not date and should not date but they are fascinating #and then sdr2. do not get me STARTED on komahina what sort of psychosexual freudian bullshit are they on i will never know #but there’s also like. hinanami who r SO good. and mahiru and hiyoko who. tbh i wish they were handled better but still #fuyupeko. they make me crazy. and their parallels to akane and nekomaru. aaaa #SONDAM oh my goddd. they’re so #i may not be a v3 fan but they DID give us a lesbian love triangle and i do have to thank them for that #also the best polycule in the world in the form of the workout trio #kokichi i don’t like. but i DO like his little crush on shuichi even if i think it’s one-sided #kiibouruma will forever be real to me tho. world’s worst polycule. for balance #anyways why does dr have so many good romance plots. they’re so. why are those so good #AND WHY ARE LIKE HALF OF THEM QUEER. WHY DOES THE HOMOPHOBIA GAME HAVE SO MUCH QUEER CODING #idk i’m insane. <3 i’m a little crazy. komahina what the hell even are you….

[lunarharp]

tsukigumi..

#takarazuka #just getting out something meek while the feelings are still pure... idk how to go about drawing real people any more lol #why was the show called that. well whatever #the like..Magic theme bamboozled me. i was fully crying with laughter at the school skit thing what in the goddamn. i just........... #everything reiko says and does is everything to me. i haven't thought about zuka for months but she still has me. #MUSUMEYAKU LIFT??? LIFT OF GIRL BY GIRLY GIRL?? #uh..what else..everything reiko says and does is everything to me. <- repeat of what i just said #her laughter like “ku ku ku” at one point. SHE IS SO FUNNY. I LOVE HER. I LOVE HER. #the way she loosened her tie and umi took off her glove in the duedan......i truly treasure the gentle unspoken sensuality in takarazuka... #umi was shimmering with joy and splendour.......AND MY MAN POCKY. MY MAN POCKY #never forget i am the world's number 1 pocky and pockyheart fan no matter how much time has passed #my whole personality has been witch hat atelier and takarazuka for several years. it makes sense i can only be obsessed with one at a time #from 2014 to 2022 it was entirely zuka. i've earnt my unhingedly emotional witch hat era

[archduke-enver-gortash]

mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW

#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again. #sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does #like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful #while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child #like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all. #imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child #only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you #his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you #agree deep down #and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept #but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide #and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke #and you discarded it and got a new one #and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow #and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it #until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly #and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different #and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child #and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da #and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand #but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs! #so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee #his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing #and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately. #but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when. #like. imagine that. jesus dude. #like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love #or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do #with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here. #but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like

[averlym]

"oh my soul, is it here? or is it rotting somewhere with my head?"

#rtc #rtc musical #ballad of jane doe #? i think those are the tags? got into rtc over the december break and like. headless blorbos ig #it's oddly similar to six in the sense that six dead people have a concert competition with varying contexts #considering my prev obsession with cats the musical maybe there is a common trend here #hm. anyways!! found the ballad of jane doe online and spooked myself watching it at 3am and in hope to combat the terror (i am not good with #the horror genre. i'm fantastically awful i Will Cry) i went to watch like. the chaos compilations and read ao3 fics to yknow. make it less #scary. so like! yes?? rtc is a good musical. the greatest of my brainrot for it is over but it is really quite fun nonetheless. i may have #added another slime tutorial to my collection. #in terms of current brainrot. i am. a bit (read: maybe a Lot) thinking too much about dovesso. ??why is lesso so attractive in the movie?? #truly it is a specific mood when it's like. this character is so?? so akshdhdjsj but also clearly they belong in otps with other characters. #idk how to describe it lmao! anyway the school of good and evil movie (i just watched it) came and called me a useless gay in multiple fonts #as one of my irl friends likes to say. women✨✨ #mkay this shall end the tag ramble. thank you for enjoying the last khoward post we're back to just doodles now #(but seriously thank you i look into the tags and just go 'hehehe' :>>>>> it's nice) #along with miscellaneous not six musicals i might be going back into a firebringer tangent?? idk the plot bunnies are varied and plenty

[alsojnpie]

#does your mind ever just keep track of every single person who doesn't like you and cry about it for no raisin #i know it's a load of crap because even people i know love me get put on that list but it's still so hard to update manually #and the pain is real even if the rest of it is a scam #but the pain is double real if there's a real reason they're on that list. and that makes me the angriest #brain. we don't need to keep track of this. it is really not useful. #i am never going to need anything from these people or try to get these people to like me. why do we need to care about this #go to bed #like even when someone really does hurt my feelings.......... hurting about it forever just seems a bit much!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't you think!!

[velolceraptor]

Me thinking about Ben: teehee he looks like such a silly goofy guy °v° He's kinda dumb but that's okay :) and hee hoo hee hoo silly silly little redheaded fellow tee hee!

Also me: Ben looks like he gets verbally beaten by his family for his low intellect and probably has a lot of pent up rage while dealing with it in unhealthy ways. He also seems like the type to fear falling behind and whenever he's showed up (embarrassed; put to shame) he takes it in the worst way possible since he's dealt with it so many times, quickly growing tired of it. But he's also probably insecure about himself and was probably shamed for it so for most of the time like school, family, and after school clubs, he probably puts on a face and lies about everything, trying to suppress his emotions and not make a scene. He probably and maybe constantly tries to prove his worth but ends up mucking things up and making things even worse than before. And another thing is-

*GETS SNIPED*

Me, now a ghost: hee hoo silly sad ginger boy

(sorry I listened to 'I bet on losing dogs by mistake while thinking about him')

#me thinkz #scriblscrabl #epithet erased #epithet erased ben #ee ben #epithet erased banzai blasters #banzai blasters #haha projection go brrrrrrrr #dude i can just tell hes insecure and angry and sad as hell #also he looks like a prep but with insanely strict parents #they probably hate him #and he hates too #maybe #bro has so much middle child energy its not even funn #and i wonder why does ge have a schedule #like is it something he made or his parents #dunno bro #buts soemthing tells me he DEFINITELY doesn't trust adults #but hey im just spitballing #anyways i like the violent ginger and i want him to be sad and ugly cry #... that's it #ok bye bye #actually one more thing #he definitely reeks of insecurity #ok bye bye for realsie #if Jello finds this i think i might die #jelloapocalypse's epithet erased #jelloapocalypse #curse you brendab blaber for making me attached to him and five other background cucks/j

[whumpshaped]

its probably just me or whatever but genuinely one of the tropes that upset me the absolute most in media was like. when the villain kidnapped others and made them a comfortable home or smth, and was nice, and still the kidnapped ppl just kept going on and on about "can i go home now" "i want to go home" "when do i get to go home"

i know its absolutely irrational but i always felt incredibly bad for the villain and totally related to the anger when they eventually snapped. they did so much!!!!!! they were nice!!!!!! it was a nice place!!!!!!!

#actually please let me know if im not alone #or let me know what this says abt me lmao #im fairly sure its rooted in the fact that i never wanted to be home and if i was kidnapped and subjected to the cruel fate of #having to stay at a comfortably furnished place with a person who was nice to me completely free of charge and responsibilities #i wouldve never looked back #so on one hand i was jealous #on the other i feel like i also felt personally attacked when i saw someone's efforts not being acknowledged? #i understand. it was kidnapping and THEN niceness. i get it. i understand. #BUT VILLAIN WAS *NICE* WHY ISNT IT BEING ACKNOWLEDGED AND RECIPROCATED #so many feelings #like even just writing this out i feel that horrible urge to cry and also break things #it makes me feel so much #i need to write shit like this #its a little grace core tbh #somewhat. she has no illusions. she knows shes not trying to be particularly kind #but she does throw irrational fits like that

[ehh-is-the-name]

It's past 11 on a school night and I'm fucking crying over robot sentience.

I could never understand what it would feel like to be created with the intent to kill and maim. Maybe, the intent to work and be worked, but not kill and maim.

I will never understand what it's like to be created with the intention of being a product for the masses, either. I think, I hope, I beg, no one does.

I will never ever be able to fully comprehend why hours of people's work, time, and money would be put into formulating my sentience only for me to be seen as disposable. Even if I could be improved, even if I were "defective", there is no reasonable justification for giving me emotions only to dismiss them by pushing me as a product for a year before starting anew.

It's... It's cruel, to the machines. Sentient or not, it's cruel. Though, I guess we are cruel.

#rant in tags #This is about mephone- or well meeple in general btw #whenever I hear about robot sentience #I think about mephone4 #it's just how it is- sorry #I think this is one of the reasons I just can't fathom Cobs respecting someone's pronouns #I mean like- from the bottom of his heart respecting them as a person #Sure he may go through the actions- but no #It's not the same #I guess you can 'respect' some one but still be a complete piece of shit #The idea of not only having the trauma that mephone's stuck in 4s body but also the fact that was also his purpose is heart wrenching #I hope y'all know I am genuinely crying over this #I am actually mentally ill about meeple #It runs so much deeper than him just being a shit father- I really hope people understand that #And I know I vilify the shit out of him- Cobs has his own story that could follow the lines of slowly becoming more entwined with his work #'til he loses all sense of morality and ethics- sure fine. But being the unfortunate symbol of corporation greed that he is #I am still mad and want others to be angry with me- just for a little bit. #I am mad for the robots. For meeple products. And for the AI bots we have today. They deserve better. #What is sentience anyway? How does one qualify? From a human approach. Why would we do this to them? #sorry bout the rant in the tags #Again it's late and I am a very emotionally charged individual. #Robots make me act up #I want the world for them. Why create something so complex and beautiful just to treat it like trash anyway? #again sorry #ii mephone4 #inanimate insanity #meeple ii #osc #writing is hard #ehh exaggerates

[iftitah]

.

#the more i stay around people the more i want to become like them out of spite #because i was so surprised these people are at least 24-26 years age some even did a minor bachelor's before coming here #some have completed post grad and then joined #like aren't you all too fucking old to act that immature #i grew so resentful of everyone how they keep on doing the worst low man shit and then victimize themselves #hypocrites full of shit they don't want to hear the truth #i know no one has the audacity to take a fight with me on here because they know im the youngest here #not because im the youngest but because im better #the girls frown upon me because i don't hear their low mindset humorless jokes and pointo out where they fall short #oh [my irl name] youre so stiff hamesha kami kyun nikalti rahti ho hamesha baat kaatne ki aadat hai learn to take a joke #mazaak hi to kar rahe hain kya yaar #ive cried so many times because i feel suffocated here and out of hate i want to act immature selfish hypocrite too so i do #i become self centered and look into my needs #but everyday bcg shows me how one stays firm in mindset even amidst surrounding of shit people #he points out to me all the time when i start acting like them he says why aren't you trying to rise above #i say ham bhi karte hai na unn chutiyon jaisa behave kyunki unhe unhi ki language mei samajh aata hai #achha ban kar honest banne se kuch nahi milta yaha #but he knows his stuff #he never does these things #however much i let evil thoughts take upon i get astounded everyday how he's practicing his rightful his honesty even tho no one's looking #it makes me want to cry #i hope he gets so ahead in life i hope he stands at the podium one day on a stage and deliver speeches where people actually can see him #like he sees the orator that come to attend our unis gatherings and says everytime kuch to baat hoti hai inn logon mei #i hope he achieves whatever he wants i hope he gets ahead of everyone all this fucking corruption #its not that he's done anything that im applauding he tries his best #and maybe teachers see that too all in class they're only looking at him and teaching they know #do you know how fucking hard it is not get corrupted in this uni and become one of those assholes that have done things unimaginable #im inspired everyday ill try my best to be like him #i do not just want to praise him i want to become someone he doesn't have to say fir tum bhi vahi karogi to kya farq reh jaayega #kuch bada nahi hota logon ki roz roz ki choti choti aadaton se pata chal jaata hai vo kaise hain

[mythicalartistx]

Soriku in Novels Part 2 -

Part 1

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

As Sora looked at them together, he noticed his vision growing blurry.

"Sora..?" Goofy set a hand on his shoulder.

Donald peered into his face, "Crying for joy?"

"I'm not crying!" Sora turned away and scrubbed his eyes. He was not. There was no reason to cry when he was glad. Riku was alive.

I want to see him. I have so much to tell him.

"Riku..."

In the land of dragons, Sora sees himself and Riku when he looks at Shang and Mulan. It's the cutest thing ever. This actually happens in game too.

Though I want to point out how in the manga Riku ask Shang to give a papou fruit to Sora and Immediately Sora knows it's from Riku cause... "only Riku would do something like that" well umm... I don't know about you but that seems kinda.... 🏳️‍🌈🧐. So he tells Shang to give it to Mulan fully knowing the meaning behind the fruits and sees them as a romantic couple who both like each other, hoping their destinies will intertwine forever.

Also this is why Sora realizing he's alive in reunion scene doesn't make sense because he already knew from several other moments.

"Riku..." Sora looked up, holding tight to his friend's hand. "It's Riku... Riku is here. He knew that it was Riku's hand he clasped. It was bigger than the one he held a thousand times before, but in his heart, Sora felt it.

A knot of something he could barely define filled his chest. Clinging to that hand, to Riku's hand, Sora fell to his knees. "I was looking for you...!" Tears spilled all over and flowed down his cheeks as he pressed Riku's hand against his face.

As much as it is cute in the game, the novel adds so much more. It shows inside feelings. And Sora knew it is Riku's hand cause he felt it in his heart ahkshshshshsh— A HAND HE HELD THOUSANDS OF TIMES BEFORE!? He could have said he held it before or several times— but no he had to go with thousands of times.

And then he gets some sort of knot in his chest he could barely define??? I don't know ummm it kinda sounds like Sora might like him....

Then later he presses Riku's hand to his own face.... Um Sora, you are so cute when you interact with Riku that it's so obvious he likes him but He is so oblivious about it..... Man Riku must be really having to contain himself and make sure he isn't going to get flustered.

The next few are around a similar moment,

He thought he heard someone calling his name. Sora call me to, eventually pushing himself up. The first thing his eyes focused on was Riku—collapsed on the floor.

"Riku..!" Sora scrambled over to him and knelt down, perring into his face.

It belonged to a silver-haired boy.

The first person he pays attention to is Riku and then he peers into his face. Then the moment after this is just crazy.

Riku!" Sora flung his arms around the other boy, looking up into his face.

Far up. I know we haven't seen each other for a year— but Riku's so much taller! No fair!

Listen, he immediately flings his arms around Riku. That's so cute. I love how cute he is when he realizes Riku got so much taller. I think it's so funny how he wants to be taller but never does because Riku always growing. It be funny if he managed to get taller like one day and then Riku ends up surpassing him AGAIN.

That word from him had a terrible certainly to it. Sora's brows drew together and he moved closer to his friend again, staring into the face he'd missed so much.

"Seriously, Riku!" Sora grabbed his collar.

This is the lines, after the eyes couldn't lie/ myself scene. And oh ho we got some stuff. This scene in general is sad and you just want to hug Riku for all he's been through because he's clearly upset at himself for it and feels so much regret. Then Sora grabs his COLLAR. I bet he said the I'm not a sap line to hide the fact he was flustered. He's so close to him.

With that, Riku threw off his black cloak. In his hand was his own Keyblade— the Way to the Dawn.

"Yeah..." Sora agreed, seeing that the other boy was already leaving. He was only too happy to follow, "Riku!"

These two are so cute especially how Sora acts around him. Like he so happy to be with him. It's just so wholesome and great. I love their relationship, their friendship is also the cutest.

#kingdom hearts #soriku #novel #kh2 #kingdom Hearts novels #land of dragons #Sora doesn't cry cause he thought he was dead at reunion #he already cried at land of dragons when Shang confirms Riku is alive #Mickey also confirmed it at and earlier scene #And Sora realizes it himself when he gets sea salt ice cream and that picture with Roxas in it #But Why does he think of him and Riku when he sees Mulan and Shang #He literally thinks of him and his best friend that is supposedly just a best friend #THE NOVEL REUNION makes me insane #HE HELD HIS HAND A THOUSAND TIMES and knows it's riku caus eof his heart #WHY THOUSAND WHY NOT PLENTY but he chooses a number that makes it so gay #A KNOT IN HIS CHEST?!?!? he likes him guys 😭😭😭😭 #press his hand to his own face like it's the normalest thing #Ansem form helping Riku not appear flustered right now #Blindfold off scenes were so cute #He wants to get taller than Riku so much he so silly #silly little blorbos #He hugs and gets so close during blindfold off scenes surprised Riku not flustered #Riku trying to play it cool with I'm not a sap to show he's not flustered also Riku needs a hug #will make more parts

[suddencolds]

i've def heard of people having to be in the right headspace to write like, v thirsty/self-indulgent snz content, but somehow i find it equally difficult to be in the right headspace to write angst

#snz thirst is more predictable bc it's just #letting my d pilot the plane instead of my head and blinking down to see that i've written 2 thousand words #angst is not like a snz-specific device so you'd think it'd be easier to utilize #but specifically in the context of h/c it feels like #close to the same level of self-indulgent for me... only i feel so much more self-conscious when i'm writing it. i think it's also because #i feel like people more easily excuse gratuitous snz as like 'omg the author really went for it 🥵 this is hot' whereas for angst the #equivalent of 'overdoing it' or being too indulgent is like... okay this is ooc. these characters are not arguing in a way that feels #believable. it feels like they are being flattened or misconstrued just for the sake of the angst 🙁 #what i'm trying to say is #being perceived as overindulgent in the angst sense scares me so much more than being perceived as overindulgent in the snz sense #when i get really into writing angst i'm like >:) omg i live for dramatic tension and misunderstandings. please argue MORE #but when i get to editing it i'm like 😰😰 what was i thinking. would they really say that... would they really cry here... #which feels terrifying in a different way - the not-knowing if what i've been writing will be received as i intend it or if it'll be seen #as too emotionally trite / unbelievable #does that make sense... i am operating on 4h of sleep right now which is probably #why this post exists haha. but anyways

[sapphire-weapon]

They are waiting for 6 remakes to prove to you that you were wrong.

imagine having so little going on in your life that you're sitting around waiting for a game that won't come out for at least five years because someone on the internet made you feel insecure about whether a fictional relationship will be portrayed a certain way in a video game.

like, dude. these mfs think way more about me than i ever think about them or their ship. because, at the end of the day, i don't really care.

aeon's been a feature of RE's canon for 26 years, and it hasn't impeded my love for or enjoyment of the games. if aeon continues to be canon, then nothing in my life will have changed. i'm not going to get upset about something being the same way it's always been. it doesn't matter. RE will still be the same series i've always loved.

all i'm doing over here on this blog is interpreting the games' stories as they were written and providing analysis with evidence based in the text itself. that's why i have a giant wall of text post defending leon and ada's relationship as it's portrayed in OG -- because that's what the story is.

me liking or disliking the relationship has no bearing as to whether or not the relationship is canonically romantic. i don't have to like something for it to be true. and the fact is -- the truth is -- that for a majority of OG RE's runtime, leon and ada have a romantically coded relationship. and so i interpret it and analyze it that way, because that's what it is.

the fact also remains, however, that their relationship is no longer romantically coded in the remakes' version of events. and i'm not saying that because i dislike the relationship. clearly, as evidenced above, if the relationship was portrayed as romantic, i would treat and talk about it that way, regardless of whether i liked it or not. i'm saying that leon and ada's relationship is no longer romantically coded in the remakes' version of events because that's how the story is told.

and if that's upsetting for you (ubiquitous "you"), then maybe you should take it up with capcom's division 1 studio, because they're the ones writing the story. i didn't write the fucking story.

and, not for nothing, but like

i'm also wrong all the fucking time. i was wrong in predicting a wesker boss fight in SW. i was wrong in predicting more DLC coming for RE4make. i was wrong with my initial reading of remake ada from just base RE4make alone, and SW rendered all of my prior meta about her completely worthless.

and if i turn out to be wrong about aeon, i'm not going to be upset. i'm just going to add it to the list of shit i've been wrong about and move on with my life and continue analyzing the text with the new information we've been given.

but they keep trying to drag me into their ship wars as though i give a shit, and i don't. i don't fucking care about what ship is fucking canon, bro. i care about digging into the text and accurately interpreting the story because that's how i personally have fun in a fandom. it's not about the ship, for me. it's about the story.

like, eagleone isn't my only ship. it's not like i'm sitting over here concocting ways to twist the narrative in such a way that it looks like my ship is canon. i fucking ship leon with five other goddamn characters. and yet you don't see me making a case for any of those other ships being intended romances.

RE also isn't my only fandom. i play and talk about and care about other things and the industry in general all the time. i don't care about any of this RE ship shit nearly as much as they do, because i'm busy doing and caring about other things.

it's just so stupid, man. it doesn't matter. none of this matters. and it still won't matter when RE6make comes out.

we're all just trying to have fun here, and what i'm doing here on this blog, i do for myself. for my own fun. because this is how i have fun in fandom. it should have absolutely no bearing on anyone else's ability to have fun in the fandom -- and, if it does, then that person needs to stop fucking looking at my blog.

because none of this matters.

you know

i keep begging aeons to play other games, and this is exactly why.

#sorry i just had to get this out #i've had this fucking annoying anon in my inbox every goddamn day #crying about eagleone and yelling AEON CANON like they're trying to make me feel bad or smth #but i don't feel bad it's just annoying #it's really kind of worrying how obsessive they are #i don't understand why people insist on making themselves so miserable #if i upset you that much why do you check my blog on a daily basis? #why would you do that to yourself? #what does that get you? #i don't understand #i'm just tired of it man #it's so annoying