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total-drama-takes-takes-2 · 9 months

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tta episode 4

“Last time, on Total Takes Action: the campers found themselves in a sickly-sweet situation when they competed in a romcom-themed challenge. Kelly and Austin fell out, while Bonnie and Caesar rose to the top. Joner and Sha-Mod broke their awkward silence on Sha-Mod’s boyfriend McLovin leaving, and resolved their issues just in time to get defeated. Kellaustin were sent home as friends, not lovers, and the Anons lost two players in this special double-elimination episode. Will Scary stop being such a downer with them gone? Will Bonnie and Caesar finally resolve their unresolved tension? Find out now, on Total! Takes! Action!”

Bonnie walks into the craft services tent, scratching their throat. They take a seat next to Caesar, looking tired. He strokes their hair. “Feeling any better, Bonbon?”

They shake their head. Since last challenge, their throat has been on fire, leaving them completely unable to speak.

Scary watches from the table across the tent, smiling. She turns to Scruffy. “Let’s hope today’s challenge is a musical,”

They shrug. “I have no idea what today’s challenge is. I’m completely lost,” their voice is monotone, but there’s a clear tension behind it.

The lights in the tent suddenly go out, and the windows are covered in dark tarp. The campers shout in protest as they’re shrouded in darkness. A sudden round of gunshots to the ceiling catches everyone’s attention, and the holes the bullets left in the tarp leaves a spotlight over Chris.

He clears his throat. “For as long as I could remember, I always wanted to be a host,”

The lights go back on and everyone grumbles, annoyed. Chris is dressed sharply in a pinstriped suit, holding a meatball sub. Scary rubs her eyes. “What was that?”

The campers glance between each other, annoyed. The camera pans over to Michela, who’s looking like she just won the lottery. O and Fren, sitting on either side of her, stare and then make eye contact with each other.

Chris beams. “FINALLY, someone understands my references!” he tosses the meatball sub aside and crosses his arms. “Today is a guilty pleasure of mine- the gangster movie!”

Michela outright squeals this time. Everyone turns to her and she blinks, then quickly regains her cold disposition and looks away.

---

O shakes his head.

O: “There is something seriously wrong with this girl,”

---

“The gangster movie is one of the most iconic crime subgenres in cinema- and today, you’ll be hitting every beat. You’ll be carrying out an effective organization, smuggling and selling the recently-banned Japanese delicacy, Chef Hatchet's Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails,”

Peter raises his hand. Chris sighs. “Yes?”

“We’re not doing anything actually illegal, right? It’s just for the game?”

Chris blinks, then smiles. “Yeahhhh. It’s all fake,”

Peter sighs, relieved, while everyone else suddenly looks nervous.

“In a classic mob movie, there’s always different tiers of power- there’s the guys on top, the boss- and the guys on the bottom, the goons. It’s up to your teams to delegate who is who,” Chris says.

Fren looks over. “Well… Michela… would you-”

She holds up her hands. “Oh, no. Everyone knows the boss is the most vulnerable position in every gangster movie. I’ll take whatever’s lowest,”

The Fujoshis look between each other, processing her words. “Who else?”

O looks away, Peter hides under the table, and Fren turns to Bonnie and Caesar. Bonnie tries to protest, but nothing comes out.

“What’re they saying, Caesar?” Fren asks. Caesar leans in to Bonnie and then nods.

“No,”

Bonnie crosses their arms. The rest of the team sighs.

“Okay, how about Bonnie and Caesar?” O offers. “That way, you can communicate what we need to do to the group.”

"I can do it on my own, you know," Caesar sighs. "Bonnie needs a break, anyway,"

Bonnie begins to protest, but nothing comes out. It's settled.

The four-person soiree at the Anon’s corner looks between themselves until Scary finally sighs. “Okay, I’ll do it,”

The remaining three sigh in relief.

---

Chris stands before a boat at a loading dock somewhere in the heart of Toronto. It’s well after dark, much to everyone’s annoyance.

“Alright, campers. Inside this boat are the crates of Chef Hatchet's Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails, which you’ll be transporting back to the film lot undetected,” he chuckles. “After that, you’ll be unpacking and figuring out how to market, sell, and distribute these slightly cancerous treats without being caught. The team that either makes the most profit, or doesn’t get arrested, wins. And don’t be afraid to get your hands a little dirty,” Chris winks. “We are in a mob movie, after all.”

“The fish tails are fake, right? And the police?” Peter asks.

Chris rolls his eyes. “If it makes you feel any better. Ciao! See you tomorrow!”

The teams look between each other. Bonnie uses their hands to puppet-out a plan, while Caesar rubs his chin knowingly and nods along.

“What’re they saying?” Fren asks, eyes carefully studying the display.

Caesar nods one final time and then turns to the group. “I have no idea,”

The Anons are already making some progress, unloading the unmarked crates onto the asphalt of the inner city dock. Scary is making a list of things to do, and as Sha-Mod and Joner heave out the final cargo, she claps her hands. “That’s fifteen crates, so we can’t carry these. We’re going to need transportation,”

“Like, what, an Uber?” Joner asks, wiping the sweat off his brow.

“Not quite,” Scary’s eyes drift across the dock until settling on a pile of large, empty wooden crates beside an abandoned shopping cart.

---

“Where are we going to hire a moving service at this hour?” Caesar scoffs, flipping through a phonebook in a nearby booth. Fren stands outside, keeping a lookout, while Michela surveys the lot. Peter drags another crate outside, the only person doing so.

Bonnie is once again trying to explain their idea to the group, but no one can understand their vague hand gestures and expressions.

O taps his chin. “Maybe if you think about the plan really hard while you’re moving, it’ll translate through your body language and I’ll get it,” he clears his throat when Bonnie stares at him. “I’m training to become a therapist.”

Michela walks over to Peter and sees a bag of the candy sticking from one of the crates he brought down. She turns back to the lot, where a stalling truck is waiting outside a warehouse.

“Hey, Peter, can I take this?” she asks, holding up the bag.

---

“There!” Scary huffs, tossing the wrench aside. A massive flatbed cart, encircled by a metal caging, lies before them. “Let’s start loading.”

Scruffy, Joner, and Sha-Mod carry over the crates and set them on the cart. Scary covers them with a spare tarp and the four begin pushing their cargo back to set.

Caesar watches dejectedly and exits the booth just as Michela returns. "Well, we're done for," he takes a seat on the curb, leaning against his palm. Bonnie sits and tries to comfort him with a pat on the back, and he smiles at them.

Michela clears her throat. “Not yet. We have a ride,”

The team raises an eyebrow in unison as she points to a truck backing over. The driver peers out the rearview mirror.

Caesar blinks. “Where did you-?”

“There’s no problem in this world that can’t be solved with bribery or violence,” Michela says coldly, and then smiles nervously when everyone stares. “I bribed him!”

---

Scary, Joner, Scruffy, and Sha-Mod are all covered in sweat and wheezing by the time they roll up to set, watching as a large truck drops off the last of the Fujoshi’s cargo. “Oh, come on!”

As Peter and Bonnie begin to carry the crates into the film lot, Caesar turns to Michela.

“Listen. You and I both know that this operation isn’t going anywhere with me at the wheel. You know how to get things done,”

“But-”

He holds up his hands and lowers his voice. “Listen, I only chose to do this for Bonbon. They do everything for me,”

Michela blinks, waiting for him to continue.

"...So, if it's okay with you, I'd like to relinquish my position here and help them out exclusively,"

Michela sighs. “Fine. Tell everyone there’s been a shift in power,”

---

The Fujoshis have staked out the craft services tent since they arrived first, leaving the Anons to unpack their contraband outside the trailers.

Scary looks down at their army of candy. “Okay, we need to figure out how this is going to sell,”

“Is there an underground candy market or something?” Sha-Mod chuckles. Scary glares at him.

“Maybe Chris is sending someone to come to us?” Scruffy asks, but then shakes their head. "No, that'd be stupid. He would've said something."

---

SCRUFFY: "I am hanging on to my sanity by a thread at the point. And not a good thread either! A tiny, fraying string of dental floss!"

---

"We'll figure it out, man," Joner says, patting their shoulder. "In the mean time, let's all take a breather. Who knew using a modified shopping cart to carry a hundred kilograms of cargo would be exhausting?"

---

“Okay, we’re going to need some people on the ground to sell these things. Now, the salesmen are probably the most important part of this hierarchy- they need to be charming, kind, and likable. Keeps them in business and out of trouble,” Michela hits her open palm with her fist. “Fren and Caesar, start staking out some back-roads candy places around town to see if anyone’s interested. Keep it vague, lead them into asking for it. Then make the deal and send them here.”

She turns to the remaining team members. “Peter, you can sort out the orders as they come in. Just organize and label them, okay? That’s all,”

He looks unfathomably nervous. “What if we get in trouble for this?”

“It was Chris’ idea. He’ll get the time, not us,”

“Yeah, while he’s escaping to Mexico,” he grumbles.

“Nothing but organizing and labeling! Bonnie and O, you’ll be meeting with the clients at the gate and making sure the money comes through,”

Bonnie and O look at each other, and then nod.

---

“Okay, I’ve made this schedule and this list for everything we need to do,” Scary says, passing out a few thick packets. “Since Scruffy looks like they’re about to piss themselves and Joner and Sha-Mod are essentially pets on this team, I’ll be handling sales.”

Joner raises a finger. “Are you sure that-”

“Did you want to be wandering the streets alone tonight?”

He shuts up.

---

In the darkest parts of Toronto, Caesar wanders alone, wearing a bowler hat and long black trench coat. He narrates:

“Michela ran a tight business,”

He walks down a dark alley and comes up against the back door of a restaurant, where a man with a green mohawk is waiting outside, smoking a cig.

“Frennie Two-Times and I handled sales,”

Caesar hands the man a thin box from the inside of his coat.

Back at the lot, Peter keeps a record of every client’s finances, typing out on a calculator at the craft services tent table.

“Peter “The Brains” took care of all our finances. Smart guy, but easy to push in the right direction,”

Pan over to O, carrying crates outside.

“O Muscles was our work guy whenever Bonnie Bloodknuckles was busy… delegating,”

Cut to Bonnie threatening the same green mohawk man in the same alley, demanding money.

“Yeah, we ran a pretty tight ship,”

The blue and red of police cars flashes behind them, and the mohawked man ducks and runs.

“But not tight enough,”

---

“This is so dumb!” Scary kicks a crate. “How have we not made a single sale! Is threatening people with knives not enough to get this dumb candy out there?”

Scruffy cradles their head in their hands. “I don’t know. I don’t know,”

Joner pats their back. “Hey man, don’t worry. We’ll figure it out!”

“No, we won’t. The other team sold ALL of their inventory and we haven’t gotten rid of a damn bag!” Scary yells, then sighs. “Except for the ones that Sha-Mod’s been eating.”

The camera pans over to Sha-Mod, sitting on one of the crates with the candy. He chuckles nervously. “It’s salty,”

Everyone’s attention is turned to the sound of police sirens as dozens of cars drive up around the craft services tent. In a few seconds, Michela is being escorted out in handcuffs, an annoyed look on her face.

---

MICHELA: “I KNEW I was forgetting something. No respectable mob operation goes without bribing the cops to stay quiet. Stupid!”

---

Chris adjusts the large white wig on his head in a cardboard courtroom. Chef is sawing away at some wood in the back of the flimsy building, taking measurements of the dimensions.

Bonnie sits in the witness’ podium, looking over the crowd. Michela is seated at the fold out table serving as the defendants corner, O as her lawyer.

“I call this court meeting to order,” Chris slams a plastic gavel on his table just as Chef pulls out a chainsaw and starts carving a block of wood. “Don’t mind Chef, we’re going to need a real set again in a few days!” Chris yells. “Anyway- Michela, you stand here on trial for bootlegging. How do you plead?”

“Not guilty,” she rolls her eyes.

“That’s interesting. Prosecutor, your defense?”

Scary stands on the side of the room adjacent to Michela and O. “I call to the stand, Bonnie!”

“They’re already there!” Michela yells.

Scary ignores her. “Now, Bonnie, could you please describe the operation your boss was running?”

Bonnie points to their throat, and makes a few hand gestures. Scary rolls their eyes.

“Okay, fine. I guess that’s too difficult a question for you philistines,” she mutters. “Just point to the person who was running the damn thing.”

Bonnie looks around nervously, eyes meeting with Caesar’s. He raises his eyebrows as they make eye contact.

“To rat or not to rat?” Chris asks, watching the display with delight. “That is the question. Reminder to all participants that ratting out your fellow players gives you immediate immunity from the mob!”

Bonnie looks back to Caesar again, and he hesitantly nods. They sigh and point to Michela. Chris slams his gavel, grinning. “The Fujoshis are sentenced to an elimination ceremony for the crime of bootlegging- and ratting!”

Bonnie holds up a finger, trying to articulate. Caesar stands from the audience on their behalf. “But Bonnie has immunity!”

“No, Bonnie has immunity from the mob,” Chris chuckles. “But don’t worry. We have an excellent witness protection program at Playa des Losers.”

Bonnie looks pale as the courtroom audience shuffles out. Caesar runs over, putting his hands on their shoulders. “Don’t worry, I’ll sort this out. I shouldn't have told you to do anything, I was just trying to help,”

Bonnie looks down. A strong breeze blows away the cardboard walls, leaving them both in the rain.

---

“Fujoshis, even though you lost… I gotta say, what a run!” Chris chuckles. Michela sits in the bleachers, hands still cuffed together. “But all good things must come to an end, so let’s get this over with. Fren, Peter, you’re safe,”

Peter sighs with relief and catches his golden Chris. Bonnie looks to Caesar, a nervous expression on their face. He tries to console them by rubbing their back, but it doesn't help any.

“Caesar… O…”

“Michela- you forgot one of the most important parts of an underground operation, spelling doom for your team. And Bonnie, you sold out a fellow team member for immunity! Not cool, dude. But only one of you is going home,”

“And that person…

…is…

…Bonnie. Time to pack your things and take some cough drops,”

Bonnie's shoulders drop and they look at the ground.

“Can someone let me out of these now?” Michela holds up her wrists.

“If I recall correctly, you were sentenced overnight. See you in the morning!” Chris hops off stage merrily and walks away. The rest of the campers follow shortly.

Caesar runs over to where Bonnie is sitting as the Lame-o-Sine’s back door opens. He puts his hands on their shoulders. “Bonbon, I am so sorry. I was trying to help!”

Bonnie coughs a bit and then speaks weakly. “You didn’t have to-”

“I did, though. You’ve been saving my ass every day since we met. I thought if I could repay the favor…”

Bonnie shakes their head. “Not your fault,”

“It’s okay to blame me. I promise, I understand! I just wanted so badly to be just as good a player as you, and help you out liked you help me just by being around...”

Bonnie smiles softly and looks away (scratching their throat again). Caesar smiles back and they hug.

"You're my person, Bonbon,"

"I know," Bonnie coughs. "You're mine."

The Lame-O-Sine honks and Chef rolls down the driver’s side window, glaring. The two break apart and stare at him, both embarrassed. He honks the horn two more times for emphasis.

“Gotta go,” Bonnie wheezes, pointing to the impatient driver.

Caesar nods. “And take some cough drops when you get there!”

“Aw, wasn’t that heartwarming,” Chris steps out in front of the camera. “Will Caesar win for Bonnie? Will we ever let Michela out of those handcuffs? Find out next time, on Total! Takes! Action!”

#tta #total takes action

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