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becauseimafan · 6 years

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Taylor Swift vs. The Bullies

Bullying has been around since dirt. Long before there was a name for it, there were kids acting mean. I'm in my 50's and I was bullied as a kid. It went on for years and it was miserable beyond words. As a parent you want to protect your kids from it no matter what. You make promises to yourself and swear that your kid will never go through what you did. However, the S on your parent superhero suit has it's own kryptonite...and that's bullies. You can't stop kids from being crappy to other kids.

Over the years my daughter has been bullied. We worked through it each time and overcame the obstacles. Last year I began to notice it rear its ugly head once again. Stories about school became infrequent, the days of asking to stay home grew, and the sparkle in her eyes died down. I asked her what was going on but she wasn't ready to talk about it yet. Things got worse and one day while we drove home from soccer practice she whispered, 'Dad, am I a piece of shit?'

It was a suckerpunch that drove the air from my lungs. My hands clenched the steering wheel so tight that my knuckles ached. It was the feeling that you couldn't protect your child from everything. You couldn't keep evil at bay. This sweet girl that always helped others, was asking me the unthinkable. My daughter donated her hair to cancer patients, she raised money for pre-mature babies (being a preemie herself), she did events for food banks, Alex's Lemonade stand, breast cancer patients, etc. This child was out there for March For Our Lives , Keep Families Together and other social causes. You couldn't find a kinder soul that always put others first. Not to mention she's a straight A student, a National Honor Society member and a star soccer player.

Slowly her story unfurled and my wife & I shook our heads in disbelief. How could anyone make her feel this way? How was anyone raised with this much hate in their heart? As we dealt with the school and had her classes changed, I mulled over these questions and others. As parents we were able to take care of the physical aspects but no amount of love and support could erase the emotional damage done. Sometimes it takes a higher power for bigger jobs. Sometimes it takes Taylor Swift.

In those days and weeks that followed the music of Taylor Swift slowly healed her wounds. There were days when 'Mean' was played on a loop for hours at a time. It became her anthem. At first she lost herself in trying to teach herself the song on piano and then later on violin and guitar. Afterwards, the song became a backdrop as she wrote her own songs about bullying. Finally, the song was her armor that protected her from anything, as she shouted it at the top of her lungs.

But it wasn't just limited to 'Mean'. Countless other songs rescued her from darkness. 'Enchanted', 'Long Live', 'Change', 'Fearless', 'All Too Well' all drove her to overcome the depression that had gripped her. Each day I was thankful to her old sister who had introduced her to Taylor's music years earlier.

For Christmas her grandparents got us tickets to see one of the MetLife shows, in New Jersey over the summer. Counting down the days to the concert was the way that our daughter counted down the end of school. One day closer to seeing Taylor. One day closer to being away from the bullies. The countdown became a weird sort of Taylor Swift Advent Calendar. The week of the concert we were overcome by the kindness of a stranger who gifted our family tickets to see the closing night at MetLife. Her spirits were lifted in ways that words would fail to describe. The sparkle was back in her eyes and every morning I was greeted with what Taylor played on the B stage the night before. Each day the girls would take guesses on what catalog gem would be next.

Unbeknownst to us at the time, our daughter had written Taylor a poem and a Thank You letter. She wanted to thank her for all that her music had done for ever since she was a little girl. During the second night at MetLife, she gave the note to an usher and asked them to get it to 'Taylor Nation'. It was only afterwards that she told me about what she had done. No matter where the letter ended up, a 13yr old girl felt like she had said her peace to her idol. The message had been sent and the chapter was closed. (I often thought artists should have a drop box at shows to collect fan items but that's another story). The next night, Taylor played her favorite song, 'Enchanted'. I stood there and cried as I watched the joy on her face. It was a moment I wish I could bottle up and save for every day a bully would turn her world upside down.

Sadly, concerts end and bullies return, and school begins again. Three weeks ago she began dieting and pushing herself because she didn't want to give any of the kids at school something to tease her about. 'Why are you doing this,' I asked. Her cheeks crept with crimson and she grew quiet. 'Because I don't want to be called a piece of shit ever again.'

Unfortunately, Taylor Swift could fix a lot of things but some things are just bigger than a three minute song, and some words just cut too deep.

#taylorswift #bullying #taylornation #mean #enchanted #meanpeoplesuck

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