#koto’s useless rambles
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I just realized all my rarepair week stuff is in my “top posts” bar hell yeah
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Kotoko Yuzuriha and Love
Hello Milgram fandom !
So while I prepare my longer Kotoko theory post (the post about Pink-Shirt-Girl), I wanted to make a shorter post about something that has been on my mind for a while now, and I wanted to invite some discussion to it with this post !!
Basically: Kotoko has a lot of references to love in her character. So many in fact that I really do feel like it might be relevant.
Firstly, let's start with the most prominent example
Girl friend, what does this mean.
From the probably hundreds of questions that were asked to Mikoto and Kotoko, this one was one of the twenty that were picked out. And considering how Mikoto's questions were used to foreshadow parts of his MV like the phone call with his mother, I feel like this could very well mean something important that will be explained later on
Another thing that I feel is important to comment on is her cover songs, specifically her cover song in T2, Streaming Heart
(source: Vocaloid Wiki)
(source: Vocaloid Lyrics Wiki)
Now to be completely fair, a large majority of Deco's library has to do with the theme of relationships, so it's not like Kotoko is necessarily special in that regard. But when you add in the fact that Streaming Heart could be connected to Monoprisoner, Mikoto's T1 cover, abd a few of the lyrics like
> "You're a weakling, aren't ya?" (tfw useless weaklings won't shut up and let you protect them like how dare they /j)
The choice feels very deliberate and I feel like it is meant to tell us more about Kotoko's character than we're made to believe.
These next two points are a pretty big stretch, but I'm going to mention them anyway so I can gloat about being right if I end up being right /j
So, Kotoko's birthday art.
I know. She is very beautiful.
But more than that, the fruit associated with her cake is the Dragon Fruit, which on one hand is absolutely genius considering the first kanji in Kotoko's name means Japanese Harp (according to the milgram wiki) and that instrument, called a koto funnily enough, has connections to dragons and protection, which fit Kotoko very well
(the urge to make a Milgram name meanings analysis post is rising)
However, the Dragon Fruit also has connections to love
Now the most likely answer why the dragon fruit was chosen (especially since I could only really find this on one website) is the koto thing I mentioned earlier. But I did find this, so I thought I'd note it down
And lastly, probably the biggest stretch of all:
Deep Cover's MV coming out on Mahiru's birthday...is probably a coincidence let's be real.
But considering how much love has been foreshadowed for Kotoko's character, her MV coming out on the birthday of Mahiru fucking Shiina feels like something to note
This post wasn't comprehensive at all and was mostly just a bunch of rambling about things I've noticed and thought about, but I would love to hear if anyone has any interpretations of what this could mean overall !
PS: I wrote half of this post dead fucking tired after an all nighter. if you see any typos, no you don't
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(Possible tw for mentions of a broken bone, ivs, and surgery. It isn’t graphic tho)
Naeleon Week day 5 (Flowers)
Non despair au
“Just breathe Leon it’s going to be ok”
“What? You expect me to be calm before literally being minutes away from being cut open?” From his tone, it was easy to tell that Leon was panicked.
“sweetie, you’re going to be fine. Your arm is going to feel much better after this, ok?”
Leon had broken his wrist at a baseball game about a week ago. After getting it checked out, the doctor concluded he would need surgery for the bone to fully heal.
This idea did not sit well with him in the slightest.
Though he would never say it, he was deadly terrified of any kind of medical procedure. Even though he never has directly told anyone, his reaction to them said enough.
Every time he went in for one he would boarder on anxiety attacks. Makoto noticed this when he went in to get his wisdom teeth pulled, and started going with him from then on.
A nurse came into the waiting room and called Leon into the hospital room. Immediately, his mood went from defiant and angry to visibly anxious and small. He gripped Makoto’s hand with the hand not connected to his broken arm.
“Sit down right over here for me we’ll be with you in a second” the nurse told him as they entered the room.
Leon sat down on the hospital bed and began fidgeting anxiously with his arm brace.
“Nervous?”
“What? Me? No!” Leon quickly replied defensively.
He paused.
“do you want me to hold your hand?” Makoto offered.
Leon quickly nodded, holding his boyfriend’s hand tightly.
Makoto could feel the other’s hand shaking in his. It was clear he was nervous.
“It’s gonna be ok. You’re strong. I know you can do this,” Makoto brushed his thumb over the top of Leon’s hand in an attempt to comfort him.
“Thanks,” Leon glanced to the side.
A door opened, and three nurses entered. One of them, they both recognized as one of their upperclassmen, Mikan, who was likely interning here for her talent as the ultimate nurse.
“Hi, how are we doing?” One of the nurses said, rather upbeat.
Leon shrunk into the hospital bed he was sitting in, anxious about starting, but still held onto Makoto’s hand.
“This is dumb,” He grumbled quietly.
“W-Well i-in order for your- ... -for your arm t-to fully h-heal, y-you n-need to get the s-surgery. S-So it’s not d-dumb,” Mikan, the other nurse replied.
“He’s a bit anxious,”
“No I’m not!”
“Don’t be scared! You won’t even know it’s happening,” one of the nurses reassured.
“Chill, I’m not scared. Just think this is Stupid. That’s all,”
”C-Could you lay d-down?” Mikan asked.
Leon noticeably tensed.
“We’re not s-starting y-yet. W-We’re m-moving you to the pre-op room, but we’re j-just gonna check y-your vitals, ok?” The nurses moved over to raise the small protective bars on the side of the bed.
Two of them moved the bed into the operating room while Makoto walked beside the bed, making small-talk to a very anxious Leon, who, at this point had given up on trying not to seem nervous.
The third nurse stayed behind to sort out medications for the procedure.
It was a rush of taking blood pressure and temperature and other miscellaneous vital checks, but after a few minutes, an IV bag was brought up to the hospital bed.
Seeing that caused both Leon and Makoto to panic a little. Especially Leon.
Since he was a kid he hated those things. Plus, it meant they were starting.
Makoto was nervous because once Leon was under the anesthesia and asleep, he would have to leave his side until the procedure was done. He didn’t want to leave him though. He’d feel awful. Especially with how anxious he was about everything.
Makoto grabbed onto Leon’s hand to try and keep him calm.
But, judging by Leon’s death grip, he was nowhere near that.
“This is the anesthesia. It may take a second to work, but once it does, you’ll be completely asleep so you don’t feel any part of the surgery,” the nurse explained.
“And it goes in through an IV?” Leon’s tone alone was enough to tell he wasn’t just nervous being faced with the inevitability that he would go under surgery. He was terrified.
“Yep!”
“I’m gonna need you to put your arm down, please,” The nurse requested.
hesitantly, Makoto and Leon let go of each other’s hands, causing the anxiety to rise in both of them almost immediately.
The needle went into his arm, causing Leon to hiss in discomfort.
“Now, we’re gonna need you to count back from 10 for us.”
Makoto rested his hand on Leon’s good shoulder that wasn’t connected to his broken arm.
“T-Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven.. S..iix, ..fffi..” And with that, Leon was asleep, and Makoto was ushered out of the room to allow the operation to begin.
Makoto sat in the waiting room, anxiously scrolling through his notifications. He already was kind of worried. He didn’t want his boyfriend to wake up in any pain, or even be in any pain to that matter.
He got bored of looking at nothing, and began to get hungry.
He knew the hospital had a gift shop, so maybe he could go find himself something to eat and something nice he could get Leon while he was waiting.
Makoto got up from his seat and went to go find it.
“Excuse me, could you point me to the gift shop, please?” Makoto asked the man at the front desk.
“Yeah. It’s downstairs on the first floor. It’s labeled. You shouldn’t have a hard time finding it,” the man replied.
“Thank you.”
He stepped into the elevator and pressed the “1” button, which led to the first floor of the hospital.
The doors closed and the elevator began moving downwards.
With a “ding” the elevator reached the first floor.
Makoto walked out and started looking around for the gift shop.
A small indoor store labeled “gift shop” stood out.
That must be it.
Makoto entered the store.
The inside looked just like what you’d expect of a hospital gift shop.
It was filled with racks and racks of stuffed animals, “get-well-soon” cards, shirts, flowers, balloons, small candies and snacks, and a few other small objects.
Makoto walked around to find something to snack on and something for Leon.
The first thing that caught his eyes were the flower bouquets.
There was a large variety of flowers to choose from, but since he knew Leon likes the smell of lavender, he chose the lavender bouquet.
He looked around the store for some more nice things for his boyfriend after he wakes up.
The next thing that caught his eye was the rack of cards. He looked around at the “get-well-soon” to try and find something cute or funny.
He settled on a cute card with a corgi on the cover of it.
Makoto browsed the rest of the shop for anything else, and remembered he was hungry.
He browsed the shelf containing small snacks and found a row of stuffed bears holding a small jar of chocolates.
He had to get Leon one. They were just too cute. And, the chocolates would be good for the mood.
Makoto picked one up and put it with the rest of the gifts, and grabbed himself a bag of takis before moving to the checkout.
He checked out and returned back to his seat in the waiting room. Only about 15 minutes had passed, so it was back to the anxious boredom of scrolling through useless notifications and occasionally playing games that he had trouble focusing on.
But at least he had something to eat.
The minutes felt like hours, hours like days. Finally, after two anxious hours, a nurse came into the waiting room.
“Makoto?” A nurse called.
“That’s me.” He got up from his seat and fallowed the nurse somewhat eagerly with gifts in hand.
The nurse opened the door to the recovery room and walked him in.
“He may be a little loopy since he just woke up,” the nurse explained.
“Ok. Thank you so much!”
He walked into the recovery room and saw Leon in the bed, just barely awake.
“Hey Leon.”
Leon turned his head towards Makoto. “Who are you?”
“You don’t remember me?” Makoto softened his voice so he doesn’t overwhelm Leon.
“nah,” Leon replied, still only half awake.
“I’m Makoto, remember?” Leon had already fallen asleep again. This didn’t last long. He woke up again after a minute.
“Hey” Leon said still sounding dazed from the anesthesia.
“Hi Leon.”
Leon swiftly turned his head to him in surprise. “Wait how d’you know m’name?”
Makoto chucked in response.
“How?” Leon asked again.
“You told me.”
Leon looked at him confused.
“wwwhen?”
“Five years ago.”
Leon paused for a second, but seemed to have forgotten what he was going to say. “Hey koto.”
“hmm?”
“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve evrseen.”
This took Makoto by surprise. He could feel a blush spread across his face.“Thank you!”
“you’re sweet and perfect and cute and amazing and beautiful,” Leon started to ramble, sounding no less dazed than when Makoto had first came in to visit him.
“Well, I think YOU’RE the most beautiful person that I’ve ever seen,” Makoto replied, still blushing.
Leon paused. “Nah, syou.”
Makoto chuckled. “If you say so.”
“Yeah I’m sure.”
There was a brief silence.
“Do you have a girlfriend?” Leon questioned.
Makoto shook his head.
“You got a boyfriend?”
Makoto nodded his head. Leon looked slightly disappointed.
“Who s’it?”
“It’s you, Leon.” A smile grew on Makoto’s face.
Leon’s eyes widened.
“How???” He asked. “How’d I get such a cute guy?”
Makoto chuckled fondly.
“I asked myself the same thing when you asked me out.” Makoto smiled fondly when remembering that day.
“No way...”
Tho two continued chatting until Leon finally was able to fully wake up. That was when a doctor came in to discharge him.
The few papers given were filled out and Leon was discharged.
They returned to the car and began to drive back home.
“Oh, I got you some stuff from the gift shop,” Makoto told Leon, who was in the back seat with a blanket he’d brought from home
“you did?” Leon could feel himself beginning to smile.
“Mhm!”
“You really didn’t have to do that, man.”
“I know. I just felt really bad when you got so anxious back there.”
“Don’t remind me,” Leon grumbled, embarrassed.
“Sorry. I won’t judge, though!”
A small smile grew on Leon’s face. “Thanks.”
The car pulled into the driveway and both got out. Before the surgery, they’d agreed to have Leon stay at Makoto’s house the rest of the day. Leon didn’t exactly have the best relationship with his dad and being around him wouldn’t be the best thing right after the stress of surgery.
“Do you wanna go take a rest?” Makoto could tell Leon was tired, seeing as he was on the verge of falling asleep in the back of the car.
“That would be nice,” Leon replied with a yawn.
“You can go lay down in my room. And I’ll bring you those gifts I got you earlier,” Makoto offered.
Leon nodded his head, and tightly hugged Makoto with his good arm. “What did I do to deserve such an amazing boyfriend?”
He let go and walked himself to bed. Makoto came in soon after with a bouquet of lavender, a small stuffed bear with chocolates, and a card.
Leon could feel himself smile from the kind gesture. “You didn’t have to do all this man.” Leon was already red in the face.
“I know.” Makoto sat down on the bed. “But I wanted to.”
He handed him the lavenders first, which made his face light up.
“These are so pretty. Thank you so much dude!”
Makoto smiled in response and then handed him the bear and card. Both gifts were very Makoto gifts to give, and that was what made Leon so happy. That they were clearly given by Makoto.
“I love these so much. Thanks dude.”
Makoto was beaming at this point.
“I was about to lay down. Wouldja wanna join me?” Leon asked.
“I’d love to.”
They both laid down and pulled the covers over them.
“Here wait. The doctor said it would be good to elevate your arm. Would you like a pillow for that?” Makoto offered.
“Sure. Thanks so much dude. Really.”
Leon slipped his arm out of the sling and put it on the pillow.
He pulled Makoto to his chest with his good arm and holding him firmly, placing the occasional kiss on his forehead.
“Hey,” Leon said, beginning to feel himself fall asleep. “Hmm?”
“You know, I love you so much. You really mean the world to me man,” Leon pressed his face gently against the other’s.
“You too.” Makoto wrapped both of his arms around the other, pulling him into a tight hold. He still kept his broken arm in mind and was extremely careful with any area around it, making sure he applied minimal pressure to the area.
“I love you, man.”
“Love you too”
And with that, soft snores could be heard coming from Leon, and Makoto fallowed soon after.
Before they knew it, they were both asleep in the other’s arms.
#naeleonweek2020#naeleon#fluff#flowers#surgery#hospitals#this is so late and I’m sorry#kuwaegi#leonaegi#lucky strike#luckystrike#this sucks but I tried#makuwata#leokoto
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How are there only six days til FE Rarepair Week starts aaaaaaaaaaaah
#I’m only doing 3 prompts and I still have so much to do???#like 2 of them are half-finished and one is finished but needs editing#but how did I let it get here#WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME#koto’s useless rambles
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It’s funny, part of the reason I bought Engage was self-proclaimed FOMO due to it looking like fun, but now I’m seeing a whole bunch of other people who got it day one beating the game now
And I’m not even a full chapter’s worth in, nor do I play the game all that fast when I do sit down to play. Heck, I’m still trying to beat all of Three Houses! How do you guys play video games so fast?!
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Heyo! Just a heads up, I didn’t get Fire Emblem Engage on Day 1 (making a friend my guinea pig first to avoid wasting money), so you probably won’t have to fear spoilers from me. If I post any of them, it’ll be under #Fire Emblem Engage Spoilers !
Per my word, I’ll also go back to reblogging Fódlan content as of today. I’m still biting my tongue on it otherwise. It might seem a bit overkill, but I don’t want to mess with someone else’s good time! I am feeling better about it than I was a month ago, at least, so I can go back to sharing cool fan art with you.
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Btw to the Echoes anon that sent me that ask, I promise I’m not ignoring you and am working on it, my hcs just take awhile bc they tend to be long and I have hit the phase of the academic year where everything is just bleggggh and I’m trying to secure another job so I’m a little out of it
But if you’re out there I don’t want you to think I’ve ignored you, my dear! You probably don’t and are very understanding and nice because you sounded like such in your message, but I worry a little too much sometimes lol :)
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I keep accidentally making DND characters to play that have the same energy as Fire Emblem characters I like. Thought maybe it was just a coincidence that I wrote Faefine Qennala as a sort of furthering of the internal conflict of being biracial Claude deals with.
And then out of touch noble girl Saphione “Saphi” Finegold came into the picture, and I knew that this was a pattern
#I’m just gonna lean into it at this point and make Saphi somewhat inspired by Clair lol#koto’s useless rambles
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Koto’s Felicia Moment of the Day:
Was making myself a peanut butter and banana bagel for breakfast. Dog was sitting close by because he always gets a piece of banana when any of us eat one. Take a string off my banana and lean over to throw it in the garbage.
Almost the entire banana breaks and falls on the floor. Lands between dog’s feet. Am able to grab it and retrieve it, chanting “no no no no no, that’s not for you” only because this dog is a 13 year old lab and is generally a little clueless. Am forced to realize that if it had been my late dog who was there, that banana would have been most definitely been lost to a cute black fuzzy creature with big brown eyes
#koto’s useless rambles#yes he still got his piece of the banana it was just much smaller#and I know he does deserve a whole banana he’s very cute and sweet and loving but he had been swimming before that and tends to get sick if#he swims and then eats lots of human food so I was just looking out for him I promise
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So recently I decided to start a monotype playthrough for Pokémon Ultra Sun, choosing specifically to use ghost types. It’s been fun, making my team, giving them all gothic names…
Yesterday I got to Hau’oli City and started customizing my character, hoping to make her fit a sort of pastel goth aesthetic, only to realize that I had confounded the available hair colours between Animal Crossing New Leaf and Ultra Sun. So when I thought maybe I’d try the long, straight hair with the bangs and pink brown hair to see how much fun colour I could get
… Turns out it just kinda looks like Felicia lol
Worst part is my character is already named Lilith
#koto’s useless rambles#I’m also realizing that if I was hoping to go gothic on my character Ultra Sun was a weird choice bc it’s the one that has all the hot#colours versus Ultra Moon which would have all of the cool ones which are more likely to be used by goths.#in my defence when I initially played the first games I did Moon so I just wanted to vary it up and like considering I bought this game#partially as an excuse to do this playthrough I stand by my decision I’m having fun!!
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I’m trying to clean out my phone a bit because apparently I’m getting to the storage capacity (who knew!), and I’ve stumbled across the list of URL ideas I had for this blog
And I’ve discovered that there is potentially an alternate timeline in which this blog might have been called big-sis-camilla!
In case you were curious, other options included:
• sumias-petals
• exalt-luci
• dawn-yato-dragon
• spellblade-morgan
• tiki-roar
• nagas-bell
• axe-camilla (most of these are cute, but this one is deeply uncreative lol)
• hoshidan-blossom
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I have so much Felicia fan art in my drafts right now, but posting it all feels funny because I feel like I’m just going:
#koto’s useless rambles#she deserves to be appreciated#but I’m sure y’all know by now that this is a Felicia-loving zone
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FE Liveblog Updates
Hey hey! It’s been a little while since I last did any live blogging — and maybe you care, maybe you don’t — but as I have… a lot of potential live-blogging to do, I wanted to give some updates, notices, and minor thoughts. So if you’ve been following along with any of them, here’s where you’ll get your info. Yay!
‣ Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia:
Hmmm… what is there to say about this one? I need to continue it, first of all. It should hopefully be picking up sooner rather than later, finishing off Act 2 in Celica’s path, and then presumably switching back to Alm. I don’t have too much to worry about here, just making sure that I’m getting a healthy dose of support conversations! If I don’t by the end, I may just play again and see what else I can gather. Otherwise… I’m considering a more stack-em-up style to my posting like the other playthroughs, just so it’s less of a spammy feeling. If you have any opinions, please do let me know!
‣ Fire Emblem Engage:
Yep yep, I’ve already got a liveblog of this one set up! As I write this post, I have just beaten Chapter 3, so you will soon be able to find the liveblog under #koto plays engage , and avoid spoilers with #Fire Emblem Engage Spoilers. I’m very excited to share my thoughts so far, so it should be super fun to share! I don’t know when exactly I’ll get that set up, but probably towards the tail end of the next liveblog I’ll be talking about…
‣ Fire Emblem Three Houses: Crimson Flower: I think, with my desire to introduce an Engage liveblog, continue the Echoes one, and someday continue this one… I might get back to this one sooner than I anticipated? I’m still somewhat iffy on this one, just because… well, in the event that you’re new here, let’s just say that CF as a route is just very much not for me. That’s not to say that I look down on or would chide anyone who enjoys it — my rule is, forever and always, as long as you’re kind I don’t mind — but it’s just not the most positive playthrough. So while I’m leaning more towards yes to going back to it, I want to make sure that it’ll be an okay experience for everyone involved.
The good news is, I have newly set up some measures to keep all of the critical stuff contained where you want it. Firstly, I have a new tag I’ll be using to tag posts with the super critical stuff (#Fódlan Fault Finding) and of course I still have the tag meant for criticism in relation to EdeIgard’s character writing in the route (#Shut up about Del). I also have a series of emblems I’m going to be using, to mark each section of the post based on how critical it is. So for example, if you only want to read the positive stuff, you’ll look for a flower with both black and white on each petal, like this: ❃ There’s about four total, ranging from positive, neutral, joking criticism, and hard criticism. That way, you can pick what you like, and go from there!
Otherwise, I think I have about 12 posts already (some of them are leftovers I missed before I stopped before) built in a Google Doc just so I had time to organize my thoughts and review them for sharpness. I’m considering posting them twice a week just to get things moving along so I don’t have a gazillion playthroughs ongoing, but let me know if you have any good ideas! I could even intersperse the posts with live blogs of the other games just to keep things cheery, if that’s preferable.
‣ Fire Emblem Three Houses: Azure Moon & Silver Snow:
These ones, I am… stumped on. I’d like to chronicle them as well, I find live-blogging a super fun endeavour (even if I realize the live-blogs mostly entertain me instead of all of you), but again that’s something to run at the same time as all the other liveblogs. I could wait until Echoes concludes, I could just pick Azure Moon up once CF concludes, or I could intersperse playthroughs with CF and AM to balance out negativity like I just mentioned. It’s hard to know exactly what to do, and even in posting AM, I’m wondering if I should just post SS at the same time… I think probably not, as that would get really confusing, but it’s also the nature of just not having so many on the go. So… yeah, I dunno! Just like for the others, thoughts are welcome.
As you can see, at the moment, it’s all just a matter of figuring out where to put what!
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I think it says something about me that I had a dream this morning that I broke my 3DS and was pretty sad about it. Mostly because I have three tests within the next four academic days and worries about any of those could have been used to wake me up, but no… My brain decided “broken 3DS” was perfect
#koto’s useless rambles#mind you one of these tests is in like an hour and twenty minutes but y’know
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Has anyone else’s drafts section been ridiculously and stupidly broken since the last Tumblr update, or is it just mine? Like I have nowhere near the amount of drafts that I used to, so I can’t credit it to too many, and yet:
1. Sometimes I go into the app on mobile and look at my app, and if it decides (there is no explained rhyme or reason, it differs every time) that it doesn’t want to load the drafts well, it just crashes the app.
2. If I make attempts to edit my drafts, sometimes it just deletes whatever edit I made right after I made it. This happens both on mobile and on desktop.
3. If I add a “Read More” at any time, on any of the two platforms, it may just spontaneously delete the “Read More”, thus making the 1st problem worse.
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The more time I spend with Engage, the more I realize that “Three Houses is what Fates wanted to be” was not in fact an accurate statement, and was just another thinly veiled jab at Fates.
I’ve been trying for awhile to figure out in what way Three Houses is all that similar to Fates and the things it wanted to do, and of course I’ve been struggling the whole time. It makes a lot more sense now that I know it was kind of just empty talk, because if anything, it’s Engage that feels the most similar to Fates to me — and I mean that in the nicest of ways! I’m having a lot of fun with it.
It’s just nice to have what other people were saying put into perspective. Three Houses is a fun game, don’t get me wrong, but I still wouldn’t consider it “what Fates wanted to be”. It has a distinct Koei Tecmo touch that makes it pretty different, and so seeing a more IntSys-focused game not long after, I don’t really think that it’s exactly what Fates aspired to.
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