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bluestm · 5 years

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* 𝖌𝖗𝖊𝖊𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖉 𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘 . y’all ever wondered what an actual angel looks like ? lemme point y’all in the direction of oNE zendaya coleman , blessing to humans everywhere . i’m taking the torch from ares n her beautiful rendition to try and keep this lil goddess on the dash in the form of my darling soft sarcastic fool , 𝒃𝒍𝒖𝒆 𝒔𝒕 . 𝒋𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 !

⋆ ╰ another year at hollingsworth , another year of the big six rivalry . i hear that BLUE ST. JAMES is ensuring CHI MU OMEGA gets a solid pledge class and stays at the top of the ranks . oh , you’re not familiar with HER ? BLUE is the ZENDAYA look alike from SEATTLE , WASHINGTON . a part of PC ‘16 , she is majoring in HISTORY and has plans to AUDITION FOR THE AMERICAN BALLET THEATER AND REBUILD HER CRUMBLING DANCE CAREER after undergrad . it makes sense they pledged their house , their SHARP-WITTED & ASSIDUOUS attributes make them perfect matches . however , their ACQUIESCENT & OBSESSIVE attributes keep their name alive on greek rank . if you don’t catch them dancing to SUPERMODEL - SZA at a fraternity band party this year , you’ll be sure to catch them nursing their morning hangover at THE CHI O HOUSE . cheers to another wild semester !

⋆ ╰ 𝑺 𝑻 𝑨 𝑻 𝑰 𝑺 𝑻 𝑰 𝑪 𝑺 .

𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍 𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆 : blue ocean st . james 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 : i applaud u if u can make a nickname out of “ blue “ 𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆 / 𝒂𝒈𝒆 : september 3rd , twenty - one 𝒛𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒄 : virgo 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒕𝒚 / 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒔 : cisfemale identifying with she / her / hers pronouns 𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 : openly pansexual , panromantic 𝒐𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 : student at hworth majoring in history ( with a focus in the history of art and literature ) and minoring in african - american studies , aspiring pro ballerina 𝒉𝒐𝒈𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆 : hufflepuff 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒊��𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 : amy from booksmart ( !!!! ) , rory gilmore from gilmore girls , stiles stilinski from teen wolf ( !!!!!!!!! ) , grace cardinal & cam saunders from degrassi . 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒔 : - melancholic , overly-critical , obsessive , neurotic , teeteringly non-confrontational , astray , acquiescent , craven

+ benevolent , magnanimous , tactful , inventive , perfectionist , steadfast , sharp-witted , rigorous , assiduous , sympathetic

⋆ ╰ 𝑨 𝑵 𝑻 𝑬 𝑪 𝑬 𝑫 𝑬 𝑵 𝑻 .

my concept was that her mom , sonya ackerman , was a world-renowned ballerina , like one of the first on the east coast and had a massive studio that took off in seattle as one of the premier ballet academies for dancers of color !her dad , theodore st. james , was a criminal prosecutor training to become an assistant district attorney in georgia , but would commute out to washington bc obv blue’s mom isn’t gonna just abandon what she worked so hard to build . her parents were a rather stable couple , but blue can easily admit what a piece of work her mom was and the fucking number she did on those around her

part of pushing so hard for success meant having a lot to lose , and sonya made that the driving point of not just her life , but her only child’s , a bright-eyed baby girl with a gaze as pensive and thought-provoking as the color she was named after . blue ocean was a miracle , a gentle ( but rather prone to fixating ) soul from the moment her curls came into the light of this world , and was her father’s pride since the moment he held her . suddenly commutes were that much harder , the tension of having a marriage and a daughter only on the weekends and being left a stranger to your own child all because of your wife’s unyielding stubbornness really did a number on theodore which led to the eventual demise of their marriage :/

blue doesn’t remember much leading up to the divorce , but she’s smart enough to recognize her dad didn’t just up and leave out of nowhere . he later tells her he was sure he’d get at least shared custody , but the courts surprisingly ruled in sonya’s favor with no rational logic behind it other than her claim of motherhood . being raised with the world’s weight on her shoulders hugely influenced blue’s personality , ballet being the only thing she remembers as a constant in her life . never one to lash out , blue took the oppressive upbringing as an opportunity to prove herself — maybe this wasn’t her dream , but she was a perfectionist obsessed with control , and she’d take whatever path her mother put her on and do a damn good job at it .

highschool was highschool and she was gone almost as soon as she had arrived , graduating with only enough friends that she could count on her hand , and whisked off to the city in which she had heard in countless of her mother’s nostalgic throw-back stories growing up , attending julliard’s prestigious ballet program as if to honor her late mother’s legacy at her alma mater .

excelling through classes , nailing audition after audition for a coups de ballet role but never a principal , blue builds her reputation among the new york dance scene with grace and humility , inching her way towards her ultimate goal of the american ballet theater as paved by misty copeland , the only hero who even compares to her mother in blue’s eyes . she’s just a few more well-timed performances away from the life she’s always envisioned , until a sudden phone call flips her life on it’s head . she hasn’t addressed her mother’s passing , nor its details , and it’s unlikely a person with such an emotionally reserved disposition such as herself will ever really come around to processing it out loud . the news hits halfway through sophomore year and she makes it until finals week before she spends a week in the hospital , unravelled and unhinged , dehydrated from her sobs and weak from her inability to keep food down due to an unrelenting anxiety she’s never known quite like this . this subtle childhood nature of fixation and perfection manifests as a full blown obsessive compulsive disorder diagnosed during her psych eval , releasing her with a script and a recommendation to go somewhere where she’s got a support system .

hu , only a half hour drive from her father’s firm and the current school of her childhood best friend , receives an application days later , declaring an interest in “ a change of pace from the world of ballet and an interest in their world-renowned history program . ” she gets sucked into the greek world without truly meaning to , wandering aimlessly through her new life as she auditions for different ballet troupes and bombs each attempt . feeling empty , distant , and the impending sense of personal failure , her new sisters in chi mu omega give her a constant push of go-go-go to fill her days with a distraction from her thoughts . senior year rounds its head , and blue wants to spend it pushing herself to return to her former glory , eyeing the next year’s productions at the american ballet theater and her dream to once again reach the point she receives an invitation to audition . she’s not quite sure if this will fill the void in her heart , a void she’s sure she’s known nearly her whole life , but she’s got nothing prepared in her back pocket , so it’s really , at this point , all she has left .

⋆ ╰ 𝑨 𝑵 𝑨 𝑳 𝒀 𝑺 𝑰 𝑺 .

for a lil personality blurb , my renditions of blue have always been really soft and nuturing and i want to keep an element of that ? she’s a gentle soul and part of that absolutely stems from her upbringing bc her mom was .. . . . not a nice lady lmao . but somehow , between her mom at home and then her mom in the ballet studio , it just made blue more compassionate ? she’s admittedly a little intimidating , and her defense mechanism has become a quick wit that manifests most amusingly in her sarcasm . the world can’t hurt u if u make fun of it first , right ! i also wanted to sprinkle in a little bit of doe-eyed buffoon which i think fits in well with her whole quiet type persona , so her humor deviates into goofiness that also occasionally manifests as an awkward as shit interaction if she’s feeling a little off ( as in : the bitch has a 50/50 shot of delivering a SEARING burn or stammering so hard she ends up rlly just roasting herself :/ it’s a mystery to see what u’ll end up w when it comes to blue , sigh )

delving in a little deeper , even if she seems like this sarcastic scattered lowkey dork , who gives the illusion she’s mellow and unbothered , she’s a severe overthinker and any convo longer than about 10 minutes will yield to the fact that blue is constantly stressed the FUCK out about the smallest things . she’s really observant and has an uncanny ability to clock ppl , which would make her QUITE the devilish fiend to exploit ppl’s weaknesses but alas , for a. she does not give a shit abt anything enough to treat people cruelly and b. does not have enough braincells to spare from her stress and misery to be fiendish and manipulative KSDJFKJSDHF this makes her a really great person to tell secrets to bc literally who the FUCK is she gonna tell ? is her argument n lowkey ! she right ! SDFHSKDHF

contrary to what her performance background may lead many to believe , she really is not fond of being at the forefront of attention and feels more comfortable lingering in the background , minding her own business , and staying in her lane so catch her being all but INVISIBLE to the greek rank blog ! her critical struggle in life is her obsessive personality , deeply rooted in the trauma of being riased with the unyielding expectation for absolute perfection . she has a hard time letting go and comes close to having a meltdown if things in her world arent completely under her control ( as exemplified by the mental breakdown faced during the most stressful time in her life . ) she’s incredibly hard on herself and really , truly is lost as to who she is without the fixation of perfection in her life . this is incredibly curious due to her selective nature — in terms of grades , she’s only slightly above average , and is rarely interested in being competitive with other people . it’s almost exclusively a competition with herself regarding the most interesting and unassuming things : especially considering that ballet , her whole life’s work and effort , isn’t even her PASSION . on the low , she kinda hates dance culture , especially the ridigity of ballet ! like bitch wha t the FU C K are u working so hard on it for ? n that’s one of her major fears , deviating from what she knows and pursing her true passions , because at least with ballet , she knows it and she knows she’s naturally exceptional — something she can’t guarantee with her true passions ( yet tbd but have something to do with art history ! ) and would rather not pursue if the option of failure , aka non-perfection , is something she’d have to face .

hcs : she doesn’t drive bc she doesn’t have her license as she has rlly bad test anxiety and ate shit all 4 times she tried to take it ( suffice the implication of her failure rests in the sulking pout she wore for about 2 weeks straight as she refused to try again a 5th time ) , is an on and off vegetarian and HATES herself for it , usually that friend who’s goin “ i’m not sure about this guys .. . .. ” while still allowing herself to get dragged into shenanigans , hates her own drama n avoids it but wants to BATHE in the tea of those goin on around her sdfsdfs , goes to bed at 9:30 on the dot so parties are oft a STRUGGLE , has strong mom friend energy despite barely being able to manage herself , is a nerd n knows it yet uses nerd as an insult , cannot cook for her LIFE , and a lil pinterest board is here ! oh ! and she does NOT fuck w being touched unless u get her express approval !!!

plots : i didnt think i would get this far in one go so hit me up on dis/cord for my list of plots that im abt to pull out of my ass ;))))

#rank:intro #* ╰ . 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐎 𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐇 / 𝑏𝑙𝑢𝑒 . 𝑭𝑰𝑳𝑬𝑫 𝑼𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑹 ; ooc .#i would have posted this a half hour ago but it fucking DELETED N REFORMATTED N I WAS BIG MAD >:(#but i ;-; finally bring u all my child blue !

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