#like grief comes in waves but at least i'm adhering to my needs

[stuckinapril]

Do you have any advice for someone going through the "people turnover" you described? I'm really questioning some current friendships but I'm scared of the consequences. Like I know if I lose these friends, there will be a massive hole in my life that cannot be patched easily or quickly

i'm going about it in a "demote, promote, or terminate" kind of way atm, while also being aware of my emotional capacity. there's this really close friend i have, but now i'm realizing she's not the best for me. cutting her off cold turkey would be too much for me, so for now i've resorted to demoting her--in my mind, she's no longer that close friend i thought she was. she's more of an enjoyment friend i'd call up to go out places w, pass the time w, etc... i wouldn't trust her w personal details the way i did. i'm heeding my limits while also doing something about this situation.

other friends i'm straight up just "terminating." something is fundamentally not working in our friendship, and i'd rather deal w the temporary grief over the long-term misery of keeping them in my life. that's how i'm going about it--i'm weighing the temporary grief against the long-term consequences of continuing to invest. & there are also a friend or two i'm promoting :) realizing they're actually really dope and they're the ones i should be investing in the most instead. so we'll see how that goes !

6 months ago this would have hurt like hell, but rn i'm honestly in a state of calm bc my life is so full without these people already that i can just double down on other areas of my life. studying, working out, reading, writing, other hobbies i wanna take up, a future i'm really excited about, being more in touch w my boundaries... just been a super therapeutic time for me. i know my world extends beyond these people. i guess what i'm trying to say is on the chance i lose literally everybody, i would not let there be a gaping hole for me to be in pain about. i'd just mend it w other facets of my life that are super vibrant already. i've learned a long time ago that friends, however much u adore them, should be an augmentation instead of the foundation of ur life itself. and i'm also the kind of person who'd rather be alone than surrounded by people i don't connect with tbh

#i'm just enjoying myself rn! idk #like grief comes in waves but at least i'm adhering to my needs #as a people pleaser i used to ignore them all the time #not anymore <333 never anymore #ask