#not anymore <333 never anymore

[stuckinapril]

Do you have any advice for someone going through the "people turnover" you described? I'm really questioning some current friendships but I'm scared of the consequences. Like I know if I lose these friends, there will be a massive hole in my life that cannot be patched easily or quickly

i'm going about it in a "demote, promote, or terminate" kind of way atm, while also being aware of my emotional capacity. there's this really close friend i have, but now i'm realizing she's not the best for me. cutting her off cold turkey would be too much for me, so for now i've resorted to demoting her--in my mind, she's no longer that close friend i thought she was. she's more of an enjoyment friend i'd call up to go out places w, pass the time w, etc... i wouldn't trust her w personal details the way i did. i'm heeding my limits while also doing something about this situation.

other friends i'm straight up just "terminating." something is fundamentally not working in our friendship, and i'd rather deal w the temporary grief over the long-term misery of keeping them in my life. that's how i'm going about it--i'm weighing the temporary grief against the long-term consequences of continuing to invest. & there are also a friend or two i'm promoting :) realizing they're actually really dope and they're the ones i should be investing in the most instead. so we'll see how that goes !

6 months ago this would have hurt like hell, but rn i'm honestly in a state of calm bc my life is so full without these people already that i can just double down on other areas of my life. studying, working out, reading, writing, other hobbies i wanna take up, a future i'm really excited about, being more in touch w my boundaries... just been a super therapeutic time for me. i know my world extends beyond these people. i guess what i'm trying to say is on the chance i lose literally everybody, i would not let there be a gaping hole for me to be in pain about. i'd just mend it w other facets of my life that are super vibrant already. i've learned a long time ago that friends, however much u adore them, should be an augmentation instead of the foundation of ur life itself. and i'm also the kind of person who'd rather be alone than surrounded by people i don't connect with tbh

#i'm just enjoying myself rn! idk #like grief comes in waves but at least i'm adhering to my needs #as a people pleaser i used to ignore them all the time #not anymore <333 never anymore #ask

[astrxealis]

merry christmas btw i kinda forgot to say it ere at all oopsies >_< i hope you all had/have a wonderful holiday season or week or day or month regardless of your religion and if you celebrate christmas !!!!!

i got 'the end of everything' by katie mack for xmas (i begged my parents lol) bcs i finally saw it in a bookstore after months of looking for it that i just Fell to the ground ..... i love astrophysics i love space i love science. i also love u all

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #:3 :3 :3 meow #urgh. tired! i wish to ignore my responsibilities but i should not cannot #i actually got genshin again yesterday which sounds unreal. i just want pretty blonde girl navia LMFAOOO #but also i've actually been making progress w quests and shit so yay ^_^ also playing again bcs i lov my friends. nini u will not see this #but ily. also u berry even tho we are on wholly different servers bcs i'm on na haha despite the fact i am literally asian & in asia but ok #i miss ffxiv ... :(( i meant to make my theme vincent valentine and reference hit song valentine by hit band mäneskin #but i was like i do not think i can live long w this. and then thought hard. and then. ryne/gaia... my darlings <3 #also idk if i've said but i'm finally. heading and delving more into dnd finally !! tis meant to be lmfao i love my friends wow #and also my dad had his own dnd set back in the day he never used unfortunately and doesnt hav anymore but Yes <333 #bg3 ocs are tasty! you have apollo erebus and thanatos there is an obvious theme in names going on! #funny there is one silly bard (my guy ever. obviously) and then the other two are durges on opposite ends #pretty boy draconic sorcerer who tries to be good but honestly he's romancing astarion too so he's kinda Yeah #and then you have than who is. what a pretty enby he/she ladyman! romancing minthara ofc <3 they are my evil girlie #evil girlies more like. Two of them yay!!! w opposite color schemes (quite intentional but also i Just Love Red) #haven't watched pjotvseries bcs i will cry throughout the whole thing (probably not an exaggeration) so i am obviously not ready #yeah. ^_^ <3

[cosettepontmercys]

Holly Humberstone - Sleep Tight (Vevo Live)

#holly humberstone #hollyhumberstoneedit #musicedit #usermusic #dailymusicians #post: music #m: holly humberstone #post: mine #mine: gifs #mine: edit #??? idk what my tag is at this point bc i never gif over here anymore but !! #i love holly and i wish she was more appreciated <333

[qwerty-keysmash]

apologies to my mutuals for ghosting everyone for days then coming online to do nothing but bitch about schoolwork. it will happen again.

#blue posts #i love you all sm <333 #i mean its not like anyone pays attention lol but i feel bad about it #so if ive ghosted you. sorry #and also if anyone from goosecoven has missed me (which i doubt bc im never active anymore) im sorry :(( i just have no energy

[daydadahlias]

samesiesss i just wasnt sure bc i *think* i've seen u post about lashton b4 but whatever-

that was years ago, my friend, I've since outgrown my lashton phase ✋

#lashton was THE ship for me in 2020-2021 #and then i started to dabble #and i wrote cake #cake was kind of my number one for a couple months #and then i wrote at least one fic for every ship #and i call cashton home now #pigeon #ridleyytheriddler #what is this 'but whatever' like ive been caught in the act #i have my hands up as u show me a lashton post and im like 'that's not mINE i never seen that before!' #no im just not really a lashton girlie anymore #like i love lashton obvi #but if i had to pick a ship to read/write it will always be cashton rn #if u want tea #i started feeling immense and overwhelming pressure to write cake/lashton and the guilt was eating me alive so eye just #started writing cashton #bc no one expects anything of me <3 and i can just do whatever tf i want <3 #so cashton <333 bc it's a safe space for me <3

[yuukimiyas]

૮꒰ྀི˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶꒱ྀིა happy sat bbys!! its a brand new day & the wknd!! woo!! lets all make today a great one!! i am lining you all up for a lil smooch on your forehead!! ♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈ ༶ ) mwah!!

#ᕱ⑅ᕱ.* journals! #you’ll never guess what i’m doing all day today….໒꒰ྀི𖦹﹏𖦹꒱ྀི১ (working !!!) #i feel like thats all i do anymore UGHHH but at least i get sun & mon off!! :3 #& this sunday is….TATTOO DAYYY (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و I AM SO SO STOKED !!!! #mentally preparing myself to sit longer than 45 mins for a tattoo lmaoxkek MINE ARE ALL SMALL SO THEY WERE SO QUICK !! #but this one is a lil bigger & in color so your girl will be sitting for quite sometime ૮꒰ྀི ´∩∩` ꒱ྀིა #okie okie its hair washing day so i must zoom!! ilyasm!! i’ll answer my asks before i open up shop !! <333 MWAHHH

[woolydemon]

uhhhhh. i'd copy me too

ytube link

#loud warning #flashing #eyestrain #<- HEED THOSE WARNINGS!! #original stuff #woolymation #ocs #video i made on impulse last night featuring my ocs whom ive never shared here #I'll probably post my art of them eventually but rn all u rlly need to know is theyre the Hellzings and they are triplet siblings #in order Claude (red/youngest brother) Carmila (purple/middle sister) & Castor (blue/eldest brother) #the only place ive uploaded them is my artfight lol #anwyay i rlly enjoyed making this vid. its smth thats been in my head for a long while until i just couldnt handle it not existing anymore #it works within my limitations of animation (ie: i have like no animation skill) #and i got to compress the video using my various fun tricks to fuck up video quality <333 #genuinely love vid compression its so fun #oh btw the song is the one remic of Hand Crushed by a Mallet by 100 gecs. heavily associate it with the hellzings ajshdkjf

[reformedmercymain]

So for those of you who have followed me for a long time, you know that in order to get lootboxes on the account I planned to use in the future I would exclusively play mystery heroes because it felt the most "fair" to the randoms I was placed against. I truly was like "Well, 50/50 is enforced no matter what" but. I was wrong about 50/50. I had an 83% wr in a gamemode that is meant to be the definition of a coinflip.

#also I can never play again :) 333 wins is satisfying to look at #(Also there's no reason to play MH anymore since there are no lootboxes LOL) #c talks

[guinevereslancelot]

i've said it before but shoutout to the teen wolf fandom for continuing to produce banger gifsets regularly as if the show never ended you guys are so talented and beautiful and iconic for that <3

#its weirdly inspiring #like people always say dont bkther giffing unless its immediately after the release or it wont get notes but teen wolf fans said no thanks #and they make pretty gifs and teen wolf fans reblog them even tho the episode came out seven years ago or whatever #like yes!!! happiness doesn't have an expiration date <333 #continue to enjoy things!! #also i too am a bit nostalgic abt that show i never actually finished it but the first few seasons were very fun to me #i love the genre of teenage shenanigans like the chaos of it all #like there's monsters but lets not call our parents or professionals the squad can handle this scott is a werewolf and stiles has a bat <3 #anyway i see pretty gifs on teen wolf all the time and it makes me happy #i know the show wasn't that great technically and i will never forgive how they treated arden cho but im very fond of the earlier seasons #but i stopped watching it shortly after allison died bc i wasn't having fun with it anymore #anyway more shows should do this #this has been a shitpost

[puella-peanut]

#no i can't be normal about this anymore #i went into this thinking it was this cute domestic slice of life 1980's rotten apple piece and then i got hit by a truck - repeatedly #i mean between the making a wife out of your 16 year old son and undertones of confused and repressed incest #mr. stranger danger che casually grooming teddy and teddy getting dom’d by everyone especially his DAD #cuba pulling down the underwear of his own son to “check” if “something” had happened with the brother - more incest in the morning lalala #teddy casually doing heroin (!!) and having a loving and abusive drug dealer for his dad (!!) #and teddy writing stories about his dad getting prison gang raped (!!!!!!!) #and the whole thing with “cookie” whoever the fuck you are and whatever the fuck happened #and then ending where wife!son! teddy so sweetly makes his dad an all-american pb&j sandwich #RIGHT AFTER HIS DAD SHOOTS HIMSELF IN THE HEAD IN A SUICIDE ATTEMPT #i wasn't ready and now i never will be #in which i post my nonsense #this undertaking of ralph macchio studies has left me rather traumatized #but still highly recommend 8/10 very enjoyable play with some digging to be done #not with a spoon #a BULLDOZER more like #anyway teddy and jackie and cuba were my favorites #especially the first two <333 #che can get eaten alive by a pack of angry chihuahuas for all i care #fuck you che #FUUUCKKK YOUUUUUU #cuba and his teddy bear

[inkykeiji]

i was just completely blown away by your post about agnes and what you said, it really really really resonated with me. i relate to everything you said and i remember reading in a post a while back that he was in the hospital and you felt conflicted about seeing him. i understand that. i also have a complicated relationship with my dad and i just love him so much but i could also be so upset with him because of the things he's done to me and my sister and my mom. oo i can't type too much!! -🧁

oh wow cupcake, thank you so much for this!!! i really appreciate hearing your thoughts, and it’s once again super comforting to hear that there’s someone else who can relate to it as well <33

tw: mentions of drugs + abuse

family in and of itself as a concept can be and often is so incredibly complex, especially when there’s something like drugs and/or abuse thrown into the mix. a lot of people (esp people online, i find) like to act as if these relationships are black and white, as if these feelings and these experiences can be easily and neatly sorted into defined categories when the fact of the matter is, they aren’t, and they can’t. obviously, abuse is bad—this is an objective fact we can all agree on. but when that abuse comes from a family member, a parent, someone who was supposed to be there for you and raise you and love you, it really muddies things.

i love my father, but i do not like him. i am hoping i can find it in me to forgive him for what he’s done to us before he dies, but i’m not sure it’ll happen. i still hold so much anger and bitterness and just generally negative feelings towards him, and in my twenty-something years on this earth i have only JUST begun to work through this shit. and he doesn’t have much time left.

#i could go on about that for a very long time #but it’s a concept i like to explore within my work a lot #partially because it’s fascinating and partially because it’s a way to work through; process; and unpack my own trauma and experiences #same with drug addiction #i have this morbid fascination with addiction and i’m 100% sure it’s because i was raised by it #because i was STEEPED in it my entire fucking life #even now we still aren’t free of it #the things addiction can do to a person are fucking horrific #but yeah! it’s really comforting to know that there are others that can understand and relate tbh #especially since i grew up in a cookie-cutter town and not a single one of my friends had to deal with what i had to deal with #but anyway!!! i will not ramble anymore #it definitely does bother me to see people act as if this kind of shit is so easy to navigate though #once again; if you have never experienced it you cannot possibly imagine what it fucking feels like #and the repercussions of it #i’m so sorry you had to go through something similar sweetpea #whatever it was that happened to you and your sibling and your mom; you didn’t deserve a single bit of it #i am sending you so so so much love <333 #keep safe and enjoy your weekend bb <3 #🧁.anon #clari gets mail

[chrisbangs]

hello tumblr oomf. long time no see.

omg helloooooo 🥹💗 yes it's been soooo long since i saw you on hereeeee i hope you've been doing oke dokey 🥺🤍 hehe matchy url buddies 💗

#whhhh but also i'm never on here anymore so 🫡 #this is literally the most active i've been in months lmaoo 😭😭 anywayyyy #i hope you've been well :] 💗 #matchy url buddies <333 #bangchans #answered

[cowboyjimkirk]

Doc anon. To answer your date question, you could potentially ask someone close to you like a friend or sibling? Hey, even a relative in general that you don’t mind going with(I once took my mom as my date once and it was a lot of fun)!

thank you for the tip! i will probably take my dad or my older sister if i can't find anyone else, but i'm feeling a little adventurous and an actual date sounds like fun:)

#<333 #ilu doc anon #i hope you're doing well!!! i'm sure you're very busy but we never talk anymore and i miss you

[thekingofchungus]

WHY IS THE TERRYS CHOCOLATE ORANGE OUT OF STOCK

#NOOOOO FUCKING WHYYYYYY #IT WAS IN STOCK TWO WEEKS AGO OR SOMETHING WHAT??? #I WAS GONNA HUNT IT DOWN FUCK #OK ITS AT EUROGIANT THOUGH. PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME MY FRIEND. PLEASE. #note to self i take sister to eurogiant with me i browse the halloween decorations i buy a terry's chocolate orange #IT BETTER FUCKING BE THERE OKAY. #I WAS. AT BOOTS. BC THATS THE ONLY PLACE THOSE VEGAN GALAXY ORANGE BARS ARE AT BC THEY GOT RECALLED APPARENTLY #EXCEPT NO IT WASNT THERE </333 ITS ON THEIR SITE BUT IT WASN'T THERE OHHHH #AND I WAS LIKE #FUCK. THIS IS WORSE THAN THE VOID #BUT THEN i found out terry's chocolate oranges? yea they dairy but theyre 157 grams of orange choco. vegan galaxy is 100 grams of choco. #and so i went all ''i dont wanna play with you anymore'' and now i NEED a TCO. ( terry's chocolate orange. recommended dosage 20 pieces ) #please fucking pray for me on my quest. please. #eurogiant please you've never failed me before dont fail me now #also cadbury's jelly popping candy still needs to be taken into custody. #i have poprocks and a nice chocolate bar i can just have a bite of both if i dont find it BUT IT SAYS ITS IN STOCK. COME ON #chatbox #nom tag #hallohoarding chronicles #if you ask me about my opinions + stories on snacks i have. so fucking many

[doomfully]

<3

#i'm never online anymore and i am moving in december #so i am thinking i will be fully deleting this blog. #new life with nessa new life with nessa!! <333 #i have my gf and the best friend group i could ever ask for. #so concluding my internet life is a little sentimental. but i won't miss it over what i have now. #so: bye soon tumblr. <3

[unladielike]

@spiritpyro​

Since Vivian wasn’t awake at the time to receive her ‘special gifts’ Hayate had already set up everything for today. He always let her sleep in whenever her birthday would come around ( because why not, he usually has her awake to at least eat something then she could go back to sleep afterwards ), and now he’s over here adding the last finishing touches to the crocheted butterfly. This time it was… bigger. The size of a pillow, probably. Hayate had started working on this weeks ago while Vivian wasn’t present in the house, he just wanted to get a good head start on it at first all due to him being busy like a fucking lunatic with work lately. It’s fine.

Yeah.

Hayate finished with the butterfly, and set it on the table that was nearby other presents that he bought. One was just a box full of assorted snacks, a few books of Vivian’s favorite manga ( clearly he wasn’t so sure on how many volumes she had so he bought… a plentiful amount. Almost the whole damn collection), there’s a comfortable blue sweater that he had made for her, too, and a stuffed bear that had a light blue ribbon around its neck. He made the ribbon for it since he didn’t want the bear to go ‘naked’.

Not today. Not on this day.

So, while Vivian had slept Hayate had made her a quick brunch that was just stuffed french toast with eggs. Something simple and nice for her to enjoy when she awakes.

[ HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIVI!!!!!!! AND VIVIAN. I'm late but its always party time. ]

    VIVIAN'S BIRTHDAY BASH. always accepting no matter how late!

    Truth be told, she had already grown accustomed to Hayate’s tendency of being nowhere in their apartment by the time she finally woke up, so it doesn’t surprise her he had left again with only a faint sagging indentation beside her on the bed to prove he had been there, just the other night. Rather than lament the fact she had missed the opportunity to kiss him goodbye, however, Vivian would soon check her phone for birthday messages or social media updates before changing out of her banana onesie into a blue hoodie and grey cargo shorts. Afterwards, she then reluctantly heads to the bathroom to freshen up for the day, and while she couldn’t say the reflection staring back at her was one she regarded fondly the whole entire time she stood by the mirror, she still manages to brush her teeth and comb her hair until there were less tangled knots at the back.

    Of course, since she figured coffee could always come later, Vivian would then head downstairs... hoping somehow, she would be able to find Bugsby loitering around the kitchen, but what she found instead were gifts, heaped generously against the table alongside the meal Hayate had so lovingly made for her. Why, it came as such a pleasant surprise, her lips would subsequently stretch upwards into a soft smile.

     Goodness... to think he would purchase almost the whole collection of Dandy Marmalade when she couldn’t even find a single volume in bookstores across Vancouver! Honestly, against her better judgment, she finds herself giggling upon imagining Hayate judgmentally eyeing the covers, featuring topless bara men, but at some point, she would reach for the crocheted butterfly, allowing her fingers to delicately skim it’s wings. Ah, talk about soft... seriously, once he comes back home, Vivian planned on giving him the biggest hug ever!

    For now, though, she would settle into a chair and begin to eat while never letting her presents stray far from her sight; in fact, she even managed to decide on a name for the adorable stuffed bear at some point... calling him Hercules. Regardless, Hayate would eventually receive a notification on his phone when next she finishes eating

    Vivian:

You are the absolute best, Hayupin! (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o))) Thank you for making my birthday the best one yet! I’ll be sure to wear nothing but the sweater you made for me when you get back home later on tonight. (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ ...So when that time comes, bring more than a few condoms with you, okay? ( ˘ ³˘)♥

#spiritpyro #║▌ ⧼ ⸢ ʚɞ ⸣︳m̲o̲d̲e̲r̲n̲. ⧽ ― ENTER THE MANLY HEROINE OF JUSTICE. #⸾ ❖︎ ⸾ ( VIVIAN x HAYATE / we attract and connect but it’s all in my head... can’t escape the thought of you. ) ⤹ •• 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕡𝕤. #⸾ ❖︎ ⸾ ( HAYATE / you held my hand and didn’t let go... so now i can’t stop thinking about it. ) ⤹ •• 𝕥𝕒𝕘. #⸾ ❖︎ ⸾ ( PUBLISHED ) ⤹ •• 𝕒𝕤𝕜𝕤. #⸾ ❖︎ ⸾ ( QUEUED ) ⤹ •• 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕝𝕚𝕓𝕣𝕒𝕣𝕪. #[ /yeets this out a day later while pretending it's still 4/20 ] #[ THANK YOU JASON <333 ] #[ and honestly it's never too late to join the party ] #[ vivian though keeps being such an insatiable little minx ] #[ that i'm just over here... sweating ] #[ BUT I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND I TURNED THIS INTO A SEPERATE POST ] #[ cause if i have to be honest with you... i do not know how to edit the html of asks anymore ] #[ due to dumblr removing that option for me ]