#like i know thwt for sure

[rainbow-sparks]

#WHATS YOUR FAVORITE SONG FROM THE SOUNDTRACK??? #tell me please :)))!! I'll go first #my favorite song is Noel's Lament; I want to BE that song; it's so gender/pos #ride the cyclone #ride the cyclone musical #rtc musical #ocean oconnell rosenberg #constance blackwood #noel gruber #ricky potts #mischa bachinski #I was gonna put Jane but didn't because...uh...I forgor why :((( (I drew this like 3 or 4 hours ago man-) #wait wiat wiat I wanna rate the main character songs (don't kill me if your favorite is low :( anyway--) #1) Noel's Lament; I've already said this though 2) The Ballet of Jane Doe; I LOVE HER VOICE SO MUCH WHATTHEFUCK???? 3) Sugar Cloud; #I mispelt Sugar and Cloud when I first typed that :/ uh.. anyway I just really love the song and the monolog before it really just sets it #for me..er whatever?? I'm not sure if thwt was worded right :/ 4) What The World Needs; this is what made her my favorite character from #the get-go(?) 5) Talia; AGAXSHSAGA EMOTIONS 6) Space Age Bachelor Man; oh fuck...literally 7) This Song is Awesome; love it; just not #one of my FAVORITES; you know? #no one's reading this are they :(

[enid-rhees]

Hii, could you mabye write one with Michonne where she found you in some abonded store? Where you're kind of hiding yourself with the corpses? If not thwt's fine :)

you’re okay || michonne x fem!reader

warnings: angst if u squint

a/n: thank you so much for your request, anon! i hope you, and everyone else enjoys :D !! 🫶🏻

“Michonne, you go look through that store, i’ll take this one.” Rick instructed, pointing over to the store across the street. he then pointed to the one he’d be going into.

she nodded and reached behind her to take her katana off of her back, and held it in front of her as she started to make her way towards the store. there was one walker stumbling across the lot. when it noticed her and started to slowly walk over to her, Michonne effortlessly used her katana to slice his head off.

when he fell to the ground, she realized there were practically piles of dead walkers surrounding her. someone else was here. with that new knowledge, she was more careful when she walked into the store, keeping her katana at the ready.

the store was quiet, the only sounds you could hear were the buzzing flies that swarmed walkers and Michonne’s soft breathing. she began to walk around the store, taking anything that might be useful for Hilltop or Alexandria.

the walkie in her pocket began to release static sounds, and then Rick’s voice came through. “have you found anything?” Michonne reached for it and held it up to her lips, “a few scraps of food. still looking. you?”

“nothing yet. i’ll let you-“ Michonne suddenly heard shuffling somewhere near her, and she took her attention away from Rick. she debated on telling him what she heard, but instead chose to deal with it on her own. “okay. just let me know.” she said into the walkie, putting it back in her pocket.

she rose her katana in her hands and began to walk towards the room where she heard the noise. when she finally walked all the way into the room, a girl sat in the corner of it. she was covered in blood, and surrounded by more piles of walkers. she put her hands up the sight of the katana. her hands were shaking.

“please- don’t hurt me!” she cried out. “i-i promise i was just hiding. please… don’t hurt me.” Michonne looked at her with furrowed eyebrows for a few seconds, and then put the katana down. she then slowly kneeled down on the ground. Michonne reached out her hand, “you’re okay. i won’t hurt you… i promise.” the girl was hesitant in taking her hand, but she did anyways and allowed Michonne to pull her away from the walkers.

now that she was standing, Michonne could see that she covered in blood entirely, from her face down to her legs. the girl couldn’t have been any older than Michonne. “did you take out all of those? even the ones outside?” Michonne asked her, and she nodded. “yeah… but then there was too many to handle and i ran in here and tried to hide, but there was even more. so then i killed them too and hid behind them so they wouldn’t smell me.”

the girl kept shifting her eyes on Michonne and then to the ground. but Michonne couldn’t stop looking at her. “what’s your name?”

“Y/N.” she told her, and Michonne nodded. “Michonne. are you alone?” Y/N nodded, “always have been out here. are you?”

“no, my partner is out looking in the store across the street. but don’t worry, okay? i’m sure he’ll let me take you back our home.” Michonne was not the type to let a stranger come back with her like this, but Y/N… she was different. and she needed help. well, Michonne wanted to help.

“home? you have a home?” Y/N was almost in disbelief. “we do. and i can get you cleaned up, only if you want. you don’t have to come back with us.” Y/N stared at the ground as she contemplated. “how- how can i trust you?” she then asked.

“i know that i can’t prove it right now, but if you come with us, you’ll see. we have many others living with us.” Michonne told her. Y/N thought again, and then nodded after a few seconds. “okay… i’ll go with you.”

Michonne pulled out her walkie. “hey, Rick. i found something. you may want to come here.”

after another long intervention with Rick, Y/N was finally at Hilltop with him and Michonne. she had never seen a place like this before. she got out of the car and Michonne was already by her side. “i’ll get you inside and help you clean up, and i’ll give you some clothes as well.”

Michonne led her inside the huge building and took her upstairs, and into another room. she instructed Y/N to sit on the bed as she grabbed the supplies she needed. “this place is huge. and really nice.” Y/N told her. “it is. hopefully you’ll stay with us. you’ll be safe here.”

Y/N let out a laugh and Michonne couldn’t lie that it was such a pretty sound. “i think i’ll definitely stay here.”

Michonne took a wipe and began to gently wipe it across Y/N’s skin. “i could also do this myself, you know.” Y/N smiled, biting her lip as well. it took strength for Michonne to stop looking down at her lips. “i know,” she hummed, continuing to wipe off the blood.

once she was done, she walked over to her closet and started to dig through the clothes she had. she pulled out a shirt and jeans, and walked back over to Y/N. “here’s some clean clothes, i’ll be back after you’re done changing.” Y/N took the clothes and Michonne walked out as she began to change out of her bloody ones and into the clean ones.

Michonne walked back in a few minutes later and she took the clothes in her hands. “i can have someone wash these and they’ll be clean by tomorrow.” Y/N smiled and nodded, “wow. um… thank you, Michonne. seriously.”

“it’s no problem, really. you’re better here than out there.”

she noticed Y/N hesitate in her movements. Y/N began to lean forward, but pushed herself back. then after a few more seconds, she leaned forward again and pressed her lips to Michonne’s cheek.

Michonne’s face burned, and then Y/N pulled away. both of them couldn’t help but smile at the other and nervously look down at the ground.

#divider creds : cafekitsune #michonne #michonne hawthorne #michonne hawthorne x reader #michonne hawthorne x fem!reader #michonne x fem!reader #michonne x reader #michonne grimes #the walking dead #twd #the walking dead x reader #twd x reader #the walking dead x fem!reader #twd x fem!reader #twd blurb #the walking dead blurb #michonne blurb

[i43tv]

helloooww

im typing this before our schools play (IG against all odds i wa sstill abel to particpate in this MF perf9rmance lol) cuz i finally got some time 2 myslrf ,,,,

so....... hectic weekend ,, i guess

im trying 2 type everyhting i rememebrr ebcausea lot of it is a blur and im afraid ill forget mroe of what happened

i only remmeber snapshots really

,,,, sorryn4 all the tyypos

fridya was when i planened 2 run awau from my parents house ,, i wannted 2 communte 2 my grandparents house in another city .. i brought enkugj money with me 2 do so n i made sure to wear my uniform thwt day so i can get a students discount on the buses i rode

i had a rehearsal onf ridau that ended in theevnein g n afterwards i went 2 theat cafe where i boigjt the overpriced ocffee lol

t the time i culd still hear my alters speak 2 me but as the night went on i clld hear them less and less n my head hurt so so bad like my brain was made of.lead and

nd the scariest parr of it was i think i stsrted to feel less likemyself

and more like i was doing actions detemrined by someone else

whenever i felt scared about goingto my grandparents house thsts so far awya all on my onw especially at nighttime

its likethe fear was automatically stamped our n shoced away

and replaced with kust . cold deadset determinaton

but r

but that wasnt me

thst easnt me at all

everytjing was snquiet inside my head n so was my surroundings

like mentalyi was dronwing in an ofean where i was alone n i couldnt hear anything whstsoeber

im very hyperssnesitive to noisebut for ocne everutjinf was quietand the silence scared me

,,,,, god i wasnt even entirely sure where i was oging

bur i gues sosmehow whatever was contorlling me then knew

i jsut kept ging and i kept going n i rode the buses and public vehicles inneede dtonreide

i nevr reached my grandparents house

i was walkign to the next stop n i wasnt payng attention to the eoad and i neaely got eun ove rby a car

i think thwt was enougj to mae me snap out of it somehow

i wudlve cried rogjt tjere if i wasnt in themiddle of the road ajd in public

god i wanted to cry so badly

i tirned sorund and went back gomeand it wa shard to catch a ride home but iw as able to find a bus n i went bakc n whiel i was a tht ebus i texted 1 of my irls asking if i ckuld dtay foe the nigh and thank godshe said yes

i couldnt tell ehr sbout thewhole situation but i tpld her i was having a hard night n i also told her ill stay untl monday too

and sb elet me

and i cried for the firs totmethst nignt in the bathrorom st her hksue

i took a short shower and changed into clean cloth3s n got blanekts and their little foam mattress n i stayed incher room playong vdeo games n talking n i cried a bit n she let me cry

n on sautday snd sundya i gont remmebr what hapepne drhen

but i woke up this morning n i think i can handle doing te fpromance so im herennow

i plan tk try again

running away from my parents house

mentlaly i keep xalling ot running qway from home but its not reallym hkme is it

it shouldnt be anyones home

i dont mind if i have to miss acouple week sof shcool

th3 year is almsot ending anwyay

i never cared wbour school it can go burn

things will beokay when i reach my grandparents house i know it

#𝒞𓈒 rory 🍒 #✚𓈒 HEARTBREAK A 1000 TIMES 💾

[imeverywoman420]

THINKING…

I mean lowkey the covert incest theory + the fact thwt i was molestered by a girl as a kid + and groomed by multiple older teenage girls when i was like 12 into being their gfs and doing stuff with them. No wonder i thought i was gay when i was like 8-15. But i felt like. BROKEN. like i WANTED to date boys but like. That never even felt like an option.

and like- once again im saying this is Me emily personal stuff. Not theoretics or social commentaries at all. Like. It was really distressing to me that i LEGITIMATELYYY thought i was attracted to women- but i wasnt. But all these girls wanted to be my gf and i wanted intimacy and it didnt seem like a big deal to look past how wrong in felt. Its just a real mindfuck to realize you didnt even like. Consider your own wants?? U didnt even FEEL your own needs dude!!!! U didjt even know u had them!!!

But yeah tjat was a real headscratcher for me. Im sure u can see why- im a really. Sexual human being and i take pride in knowning who i am. So like. Those two things combined aaahhhh scary

#Lore

[spitinsideme]

same anon as before and you don't have to answer this but ty for the response, fic isn't quite done yet but i'll put in a little tag saying you have me the courage to post so you know it's me lol, considering how fast this fandom is to make things i'm sure someone is already writing my idea (not that i'm complaining!!!)

i like answering all yhr asks i get because i like communocting wiyh the flolowrs i hav3 who give me asks !!! i love ggting asks !!! i will look flrward to this fic and will keep an eye out for it wheneveni loom st ragapom on ao3 !!! AND HOPEFULLY MKRE PEPLE ARE WRTONF THWT IDEANYES !! WE NEED MOR RAGAPOM FANFIC !!!

[boypussydilf]

living in the delusion that they left it open ended for a season 2 or spin off and not because the writers like to be mysterious about dieties in the adventure time universe

We actually NEED a season 2 now and im gonna hold a gun to the writers heads to be sure they pull it off right this time. You WILL give us actual story arcs about fionna’s progression and learning to live and dealing with her shit and about simon’s progression and learning to live and dealing with his shit. and BETTY. JUST. BETTY. BETTY!!!!!!!!! WHY DID THEY DO . WHY DID THEY DO THWT TO BETTY. WHY DID THEY DO BETTY LIKE THAT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i had so convinced myself we were gonna see some things from her perspective. no literally none of that was about her in any way. what the fuck

I cant believe adam muto said hed be open to a season 2 but “doesnt know what theyd do for it” ALL THE THINFS YOU FORGOT TO DO IN SEASON 1?!?!?!?!

#basilask #fionna and cake spoilers

[girlwithfish]

and we were both kinda surprised to see each other cuz like I had woken up from a nap bc I had gotten to the school nd none of her students were there for first block bc of a field trip (I actually didn't know the rzn why I had asked him at the time and found out thwt way) so I had like an hr to kill which is funny bc I was a little late to work that day nd was rushing for no rzn. and I napped for like idk how long but a little bit and then I was up for maybe 15-20min when I hear a knock on the trailer door and I'm confused bc I don't have a class for like 20min and I open the door and he seems surprised to see me too and asks "(teacher's name) is out" and im like surprised bc I wasn't expecting anyone either and then he asks if he can come inside lol and hang out and im like confused why he's talking to me bc I was kinda getting a vibe while we talked for those 20min before students came in for my class but I wasn't really sure nd thought maybe he's just friendly but I also got a weird chemistry kind of tension(like positive tension lol) vibe btwn us and it made me nervous. lol and he's so right I did keep looking at the schedule and just wasn't sure what he wanted and then like two students came in nd he told them to sit apart for me bc I had this like 6 student class and only 3 kids were there and he like had them sit around the room away from each other so they wldnt get distracted or talk for me and I thot hed just leave and that's wjen he leaned into me and was like hey mei and I thot he just had a general question nd he was like are u single... the rest is history I suppose. oh and he did say when we were recounting how we met to his coworker how when students started to come in to my class he thought he like had to ask me out right then or else he'd never do it and that was his only chance and if they hadn't come in he wld have just kept talking abt bullshit... hmm. I wonder why he asked me out tho like did he just know . he did joke he knew what he was doing tho when I said that I was confused why he kept talking to me. Hmph and huh and such and also what was your very first impression of me and why did u ask me out etc and also when r u going to ask me to be ur gf. etc

#im insane sorry #im procrastinating changjng my bed sheets and doing laundry ok🙏🤓

[celestie0]

ellie did you hear about the solar storm thing thats been going around?

my friend gave me a detailed explanation abt what it is whats going to happen n all n honestly i am TERRIFIED.

like it genuinely seems so real that i cant even convince myself that this is another one of those silly things that go around each year

the fact that research for this solar storm has been going on since 2019 is ???? scary ????

makes it seem more believable tbh bc if it was not real it wouldn't have been going on for so long

IM SO SCARED 😭 genuinely cried when my friend was telling me ab this and she also said thwt we'll get to know ab when the solar storm is going to hit about 30 minutes before AND NOW IM PARANOID BC IT CAN HIT ANY MOMENT NOOOOO

and to top this off my mother told me that not many ppl will survive till 2027 i have no idea where she got that from but she scared me even more

this is so bad.

hii my love yess ive heard of the solar storm, i know that solar flares in general have been talked about a lot for a while now but i didn’t know that there was recent news about it!

i’m sorry you’re experiencing anxiety regarding it :””( yeahh ive heard that solar flares are near impossible to predict in advance for a lot of reasons, so that can definitely heighten the fear

hm idk if it makes you feel better but i remember nasa n other news outlets were talking about solar storms the exact same way about a year ago (i just remember telling my dad ab it cuz he works in aerospace n figured his company might’ve been discussing it) but nothing happened at all within the six month period that the news had been freaking out about LOL. i panicked a lot then too n my dad said it was just fear mongering lmfaoo 💀 (he’s kind of a cynic though haha) but yea i just bring this up because it’s not the first time this sort of news has been sensationalized

following any sort of space stuff can be scary for sure n it’s super easy to get lost in article rabbit holes that can really disrupt your quality of life in the present :( but i think there have been multiple instances of space phenomena that have been hyped up in media (even by a lot of reputable news outlets) that have not really affected daily life as much as it was thought to (like the never ending cycle of news about new asteroids, the whole aliens thing, etc)

i think it’s important to remember that the scientists that are actually behind the research are completely different entities than the people writing up articles about it online, so you always have to take the news with a grain of salt or maybe try to look into accounts from the actual researchers behind the findings (who, more often than not i’ve found, don’t even panic about their own research to the level of extent a lot of media ppl do online haha)

i’m not saying i don’t believe in the possibility of a solar storm or anything like that lol i just think there’s a lot of tendency in news these days to scare tf outta people for no reason

also correct me if im wrong but the largest danger of a solar storm would be disruption of radio & internet frequencies right? i thought they werent actually powerful enough to cause any sort of biological radiation harm ;0 loss of internet access would definitely be a weird thing to see and could put stress on more developed countries, but a lot of the world doesnt even have internet access to begin with so i’m not sure how much it will actually affect livelihood (i’m aware that it’d affect a LOT of things for sure, but i’m talking ab dangers like life or death situations, n i just cant imagine that being the case? but if you’ve looked into that more than i have n have more to share then lemme know i’m really curious)

sorry, im just bringing this all up in hopes it helps w your fears, n not to invalidate them! bc i totally get it, it’s scary stuff esp when it’s stuff you feel like you have no control over. but there’s a lot of things in life we have no control over, i think it’s best to just focus on what we can control n just try to enjoy today :)

thank u for ask bb <3

#asks

[ms0milk]

ehem

A HYM TO BLACK WATER NWKDJDNFKWKFNEODKFNOWJDNFKEODNROWKFNWPFNEOKDNFJEKRKEOFO LORD HAVE MERCU ON MY SOUL, THE NEW CHAPTER?!?!?!?!?!??!??

I AM FLOORED, I HAVE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW MWAH IT WAS

i was gonna give you my thoughts over a reblog, but, it 2as gonna be too long, so

ehem

idk if its just mez but wuen y/n does smthn psychotic, like when she bit the magic mans arm and th3re was blood and then he let go of her and she wae grinning widly, i got gidey lioe i was crazy smiling, its just OMLL and then her thoughts of her going to pretect her prince, and she wouldnt be able to do anything her precious queen woudnt like amd how she just staright up went for it

AND AND OMFG WHEN she got back up af5er litterally bwing birnt like a mtherfucking chciken nugget to protect her primce and then he took her and hid her when deku came to the rescue, and abt that, im not sure why but i find it endearing that she doesnt call deku by his name but champion, but anyways, she literally LITTERALLY put jer own shoulder back in its place THAT GIRLIE IW SOME SERIOUS BUSINESS and tuen even afyer that she could say smthm snarky to him amd the way je reacted afywr she told him intold you so i was 🤏 close to audibly moaing oml

and then even afyer he lef before whe couod snatch him so that he could be safe she g9t up even in that stae, foumd her sword and aimed straight at him wven if she could barleu walk

And whwn you wrote about how she was made to kill and murder as her prince's bodygaurd and how she was trained for this and thr gory bloody details and how the peopl3 she knew werw not meant for that job and she needed ro fucking finish it thwt was so I LIVE A STRONG Y/N AND IDK EVEN IF SHE IS TALKING ABT MURDER ITS LIKE how do i explain this, IDK I HOPE 6OU UNDERSTAND ITS JUST SO EXCITINGG!!!

and then she chwrged right at him whil3 he was busy and fucking shoved her blade so far into him and as she pulled out a dagger to slit his throat the queen was coming and then th3 little ending where they both fell of the cliff AHHENDIWMDJEIRJWIKXODJ2IDJIDJF3INRIW9OEJFJ3

GOOD LORD AND THEN AF6ER THAT WHEN IZUKU AND BWKUGO CAUGHT HER AND MY BABY WAS TILL ABOE TO TALK? AND WAS SEARCHING FOR HER PRINCE? JENEJEJWHEBEHEJEJEJJEK2ODK3IDK3IKDIEIDKR3K

AND WHEN YOU WRITE YOUR FUCKING DRTIALS ARE JUST MWAH MWAH ABSOLUTLY PERFECT AND EXPLAIN SO MUCH AND I CAN LITTERAPPY SEE THE WHOLE SCENE AND EVERY5HING ITS ABSOKUTLY GEORGOES 💫💫💫💫💫

ehe anyway, i would like to thank you and your hardwork and that i chang3d my username to pyromaniacslove, just putting this here so i can get a cute little ding when you update ❤️

stay safe and hydrayed love MWAH 😘

took me a while to answer bc your excitement made me giddy 🤭 i LOVE this play by play, thank you so much for your thoughts!! comments are seriously the reason I can keep writing. i'm eating them like breakfast i swear

I too love psychotic reader bc up until this point in the story, violence is the only time she really has any agency, plus i never see any capably violent fem readers :,) and I really like how it's slowly becoming more and more clear, the layers of both "shes so cool and good at her unconventional job!" and "why tf would they teach a child to do that..?" it's going to make for a real fun bkg/yn dynamic soon i promise

she's a really precious character to me, and one i can explore all the responsibility that I (and i'm sure SO many of you) experienced too young.

By the end I did lose a bit of motivation, so the language gets slightly unclear but i'm glad that you were still able to follow! and thank you for letting me know abt the username change, i'll update my taglist <3

#pom.postage #and i'm just gonna call dabi the magic man from now on bc LMAO

[lycanstonebutch]

for the list of questions,,:

7, 20, 37, 64, 72

YIPPPPEEEE YIPPPEEE HEY JAX *kicking my feet tail wagging bcuz u sent me an ask*

Good to see you in my inbox,,,,

AHSHAHSHABOKAY LEMME ANSWER!!;

7. Biggest turn on?

Uhhh flustering ppl, like my biggest turn on is reactive ppl it drives me insane ig its why i like bobos so much?? Or smth? I rlly rlly love when i can see someone react or get flustered or needy it turns me on sm JFKEKGAKD. Like i can 100% get off on making someone else insanely turned on/needy/cum.

20. Loud or quiet partners?

I guess it depends?? If were talking only vokume then i do rlly love vocal partners but im 100% okay with quieter ones if they have other reactions that are strong!! One of my partners can get sooo horny she goes nonverbal and that jn itself i find is so fucking hot?? A bit worrying the first time but once you know the tells and you have a discussed way to stop things or for her to communicaye whem nonverbal its all smooth.

So yes loud or quiet doesnt matter much its rlly about reaction for. The same reason as above.

37. Do you like overstimulation?

OH MY GOD yes, not on myself but on my partners SOOO much, have them become a mindless squirming mess uhhhhh yes please

64. How good are you at dirty talk?

I like to think im decent at it once i get over my anxiety/nervousness?? It comes a lot more naturally through texts bvuz my autistic ass struggles outloud, although it becomes easier the more i interact sexually with someone and that i get more comfortable and less shy and the more i communicate and know for sure the other likes it. Someone reacting to it also helps me like,, get into thwt headspace easier. Once im in my dom headspace though it goes pretty smooth!!!

72. What food if any would you use during sex?

Mmmm, thc gummies used as 'treats' during petplay (obvi consensually)

Maybe honey if the person doesnt have sensory issues with it

Maybe chocolates on lil wrappers if someone does have sensory issues with stuff melting or touching them directly

I like the idea of incorporating treats into things so even maybe a favorite snack during foreplay being used for petplay or other stuff idk!!!

THANKS FOR SSKING YIPPPE.YIPPEEE YIPPEEEEEEE

#asmodeus.answers #mewrotica

[florencicle]

stupid florence rant

every single day i have a terrible mental health day and i talk ab my problem and im like wow i feel better maybe i wont be an insane crazy bitch anymore. then i am cruelly reminded that i will always be an insane crazy bitch because this is my mental illness. bpd is apart of me and im always going to be switching moods and im always going to hate leople one minute and love them the next

there is never going to be an "it'll get better" or a "it'll pass" or a "this is just temporary" because i am fucking insane and the smallest thing will ruin my fucking day and then it'll ruin my perception of a person and then now im holding a grudge against them. and i hate it. theres never going to be an it gets better for me because it doesn't fucking get better and it never will get better. in fact it just gets worse!

my illness only pops up when i have romantic feelings or am in a romantic relationship so when i think im getting better and i decide to out myself out there and i find someone i like . i am very cruelly reminded that i am ill and that now they are responsible for my mental health. and it sucks. this sucks.

especially bcus i only seem to get myself into situations where there is no possible way that i will ever be loved or assured the way that i need to be assured so thwt im not a crazy bitch. with my ex he just. was emotionally unavailable and i was constantly having terrible days bcus he would ignore me or say smthn mean. and then i tried to go on a date back in like june and it failed bcus he just wanted a fuck buddy and i am not into casual things like that i want a genuine relationship and he couldn't give that to me and then w the most recent thing like i . i cant even explain it but there's no way they can reciprocate how i feel and it sucks so bad because i know that they just want me to shut the fuck up cus im constantly bringing it up bcus i can't seem to keep myself in check. we r friends. i say to myself and then find myself checking obsessively for notifications and then getting upset when there isn't one and then thinking that means they hate me and now ive gone and fucked it all up.

i realym really wish i wasn't so ill and i wish i could just find the person who will stick by me despite all of my trauma and my problems and my insane behavior and i just keep picking the wrong people and i just keep hurting myself. i keep getting more and more hurt with each relationship i try and i am not getting better. and i wish the problem was me. i really wish it was bcus then i could understand why i can't get people to stay or to like me as much as i like them. but ik the problem isn't me. ik it isn't. i do everything in my power to make sure the person is comfortable and i am always checking in and i genuinely believe i could be a good girlfriend if i were just given the fucking chance and i am never given the chance and i am scared i will never be loved the way that i love other people.

whatever though! it'll get better! haha!

[onemillionvolts]

dont mind me i am just venting like a sussy impostor. I was gonna put a "not really a vent" disclaimer but the more i went on the more it became very much a vent

sometimes i think about how sad the things thwt keep me going are. like literally i'm hanging on because of upcoming banners in genshin fucking impact and getting to hang with my friends like that is so depressing

but at the same time, if it works then... so what? if it keeps me going then i guess it doesn't really matter

i'm the happiest i've been in years but i also feel more alone than i have in years... which is stupid because i'm not. it isn't like i'm on some island, i'm just so used to being entirely attached to one person and it's weird to be... away from that. Obviously it's a good thing, that's incredibly unhealthy and i know from several firsthand experiences. especially since it fucked me up in the head, BADLY. and i think that's what i hate the most. i've been mentally set back years because of those types of relationships. It's given me fucking HORRIBLE issues, attachment problems, crippling jealousy, codependency, et cetera.

...and the more i type, the more i come to realize that the last relationship didn't fuck me up nearly as much as the one before it.

which is saying a lot.

that monster paralyzed my brain and i don't know if i'll ever recover. admittedly, this is the first time i've thought about it in this much depth since it happened, so... over a year ago.

they're the reason i get crushes like a kid getting halloween candy. they're the reason i have unhealthy obsession problems. why i'm in a constant fear that everyone i hold dear to me hates my guts and only puts up appearances because it's the easiest option. why i'm terrified that one day i'll wake up and everything, everyone, will just be gone. why i can't look myself in the mirror without wanting to gouge my eyes out. why i can't be content with anything i do.

is any of this true? hell if i know. all i know is that i had none of these problems beforehand.

and god knows the last nine months didn't help.

I'm getting better. i know i am, but i can't accept it. in my head i can't accept it because doing better to me is not having a mental breakdown and wanting to off myself any time something doesn't go the way i wanted it to in my head.

i had all of these problems before. but this year only worsened them. I've never truly considered just cutting the cord and ending it all until this year but fucking hell it's gotten close.

and i still think about it sometimes. as disgusting as it makes me feel. because everything is getting better. but i do still think about it. about how i've been alive far too long for my life to be this directionless.

i'll cross that bridge when i get there i guess. but i'm surviving day to day off of mundane things. that's what matters.

sorry to rant like this holy shit i'm sure it's getting annoying but. as has been established i cannot afford therapy (ignore the $110 i spent on securing cyno today that doesn't count)

goodnight <3

#✶ neon.vents ✶ #this was a weird fucking experience #at first i just wanted to rant about how sad i am #then it loosely became #'i have considered dying by my own hand'

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Naruto shippuden things that made me lose my mind (ep 223-243):

1st episode of filler: big fucking fish with ptsd

Another ep: what if gai was carried away by a bird to an island of atrocities?

The landscape of naruto is riddled with ghosts and crimes against nature

Gai: come on naruto! Rock, paper, scissors for eating these maybe poisonous mushrooms! (Gai if he dies u fail ur mission, lose the war, and have to deal the 9 tails getting loose. Terrible idea)

Sad clone naruto: if we hadn't been left how we were then we wouldn't have had to do sexy jutsu. That technique is so embarrassing but we just wanted someone to look at us... Happy clone naruto: Don't worry about that! It's in the past! (This makes me so upset for so many reasons)

Neji in every shippuden appearance: I will drop hints that I cherish and adore naruto

I desperately wish konohamaru wasn't a sarutobi bc I want to like him but they're setting him up as naruto's successor and the fact that power in konoha travels through bloodlines fills me with rage

Before the chunin exams team 8 are so mature that Kurenai can trust them to teach eachother things without her guidance. Meanwhile emotionally stunted kakashi is fighting for his fucking life bc sasuke is one bad day away from going on a murder spree

I wish kakashi fought with his pack more, I think they're interesting

Gai: and so kakahi succumbed to the intensity of my passions! (Yea I'll bet he did)

#filler arc complete! idk it was kinda stupid and fun thwt everything had to be boat related lmao #thr clone ep and kakashi eps were actually good. the fucking clone ep got me like a punch in the gut wuth the sexy jutsu line #like holy fuck thats all im gonna think abt whenever he does it now. he had to bribe jiraiya with that jutsu which was incredibly fucked #but knowing that deep down he feels embarrassed abt doing it at all just makes my skin absolutely crawl #on a lighter note the kakashi ep was v fun and gai and kakashi are v sweet. also i like tenten quite a bit now #and the huuga are sending neji to the front and like. um is that why he dies? i am v nervous to watch neji die bc im sure its gonna be #totally fucked in terms of narrative arcs. ugh. whatever for now im having a good time and im excited to watch naruto battle himself? #weirdly i think i read the manga for thus next bit in hs? bc i sort of remember things #why did i do that? idk bc i dont think i even finished the original naruto. so idk y i skipped so far ahead #also also. i continue to grow outraged at the bullshit kakashi has to deal with in terms of his life being exhausting #unrelated #naruto

[bibridlizzie]

Happy new year!!

Thank you!!!

#seriously this is so sweet #anon i fucking love you #like yeah sure its a simple thing but like. you went out of your way to send this to me. #i know sending an ask isnt hard but like. the fact that you thought of me? that you wanted to send me this? #it makes me so incredibly happy and i cant even explain it #like its crazy to think that i have followers and mutuals who i dont even really know anything about who still like care about me #like thatd just a lot #like i have a few people i talk to on here and that's one thing but its crazy to think thwt there are people like anon #who i dont engage with one on one most of the time (im assuming) but are still around and care enough to send sweet asks #like that just makes me so unimaginably happy #anon if you do want to talk to me (like on messages or more on anon if youre more comfortable that way) i would love that too!!! #but either way i really really appreciate this #not to copy my friend noah but #happy tag #thats gonna be a thing now thanks to you #i legit love you so much anon

[theroyalsocietyofbutter]

okay how the fuck do you accept a compliment?

#SOMEONE TELL ME #I DONT KNOW #I JUST STAND THERE LIKE #🧍 #AND I AM PRETTY SURE THWT IS NOT WHAT I AM MEANT TO DO #text post #help lol #social awkwardness

[hpowellsmith]

Hi! I have a question I know you can sleep with ros in ch 7 but I am trying to get that moment in Hartmann's route and I BEEN STRUGGLING/jk 🥲 so I was wondering how I could get thwt scene

Spoilers below:

First, make sure that you've expressed romantic feelings towards Hartmann before Chapter 7 - you don't have to have kissed etc but you need to have started the romance (you'll see it on the stat page under Attachments once you have).

Then, the night before the Arts exam, there's a point where you can't sleep and you can choose who you see sitting up in bed. Pick Hartmann and suggest going and kissing in the comon room. You can stick to kissing, or you can go further if you like.

Thank you for the ask!

#asks #creme de la creme #creme de la creme walkthrough #choice of games #etiquette and intrigue