#like i would get upset that someone called destiel a trash ship | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

deaneverafter · 3 years

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You know, I kind of ship destiel (or at least shipped it before dabbnatural), but you are so right about Dean hate in fanfics. It's like newer fans outright despise Dean but for some reason keep shipping him with their fave. Like, "Dean is moron, he's the worst and is always wrong" - ok, then why do you write about him? Can you stop, please? Not even starting about how same "fans" talk about Jensen bc I might bite someone. It's so upsetting that this is the new norm in some parts of the fandom.

It is really messed up, and I agree, this is what makes me so mad. If I thought a person was as dumb and awful as some people seem to think Dean is, I would just..... not be shipping that character with my favourites. I hate that this is the thought I can't shake, but some sections of this fandom literally feel like a case study out of the incel textbook. It's like when someone doesn't reciprocate your interest, instead of being normal about it and respecting their decision, you say things like "oh, that person is gross anyway. I never really wanted to be with them to begin with, etc." And relationships don't mean a partnership, but rather one person owning and abusing the other. It.... it is a mess.

On top of that, it doesn't stop with Sam just pushing Dean and calling him dumb for trying to make his own decisions. These fics continue to treat him like garbage once the relationship has commenced, "oh Dean, you're such an idiot, I don't know why I put up with you, etc." Okay, literally, no one is forcing you to put up with him? And even with like, OC characters treating him like this, I don't get it. Like, you made a whole self-insert character because you supposedly love him but your self-insert character is treating him like he's nothing more than a physically, emotionally and intellectually incompetent, violent, dum dum? Or, you decided to be like, Dean and Sam's love is so much that for some reason, it has to become obsession and incestual, but inexplicably, Sam is going to keep treating his brother, who is also his romantic partner, like trash? That's not love, maybe it's a "love to hate, abuse and demean", but it's not love. It'd be one thing if he were actually bad canonically and the message in the fics was like "yeah, he's horrible, but we love him anyway" (but even with that, emotional abuse isn't the way to show love in a relationship), but I don't get.... whatever this is, because he's canonically none of those things, he is, not just a good man, but The Best Man. And he deserves to be treated kindly and lovingly.

I think part of this is because fandom has decided that being mean to your partner, emotionally abusing them, embarrassing and demeaning them is the way to show love. And it makes me sad. It's one thing to tease your partner, but A) if you don't tease and drag your partner on the regular, your relationship can still be comfortable and intimate and fulfilling, and B) look, jokey relationships are fine, but after everything else that Dean has to go through, I personally don't think what he needs is a partner who puts him down constantly. I really think fandom (and I don't mean just Supernatural, I mean, overall) needs to remember that it's okay to be nice and loving and caring towards your partner. I don't know where this new ideology came from that it's not; I don't know if some people saw abusive aspects in pairs they shipped and decided that those actions weren't abusive to defend their preferences, or if they just thought abuse was sexy and adopted it into what they thinks is The Perfect Relationship™️, but either way, it scares me.

And I also agree about Jensen. The stories I've seen "fans" spin about the way they believe certain people treat him and calling those behaviours romantic, when what they're describing is abuse is..... it's just not okay, on top of the way the fans themselves insist on abusing and disrespecting him for every choice he makes.

Anyway, that got away from me, but yeah, that's how I feel about this whole situation 😔

#supernatural

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