#machoquarlow

[quinnsteria]

Hoy Quarlow/Super Macho Man (MachoQuarlow) Headcanons 1/?

Citing this as part one in the title because I don’t trust myself not to talk about them more. Anyway this is just my insane scribblings about these old men since this ship has been rotting in my brain for months and I need to share them with the world

Anyway. Let’s begin with some background:

Hoy Quarlow is the age he’s said to be in the game: 78 years old

Super Macho Man is lying about his age. He’s not 27 but is instead approaching his early 60’s. He lies about it because, like a lot of typical big stars, he doesn’t want to be seen as older in fear of being discarded and out of the industry’s spotlight.

Hoy Quarlow and Super Macho Man joined the WVBA (Side Note: in my au it’s called the World Video Boxing Association because it was the first association to both broadcast the fights live, but also to package and sell recordings of the fights to consumers) around the same time. Although they weren’t there at the very-very beginning of the WVBA’s formation (since my au takes place in the current year and the timeline would be messed up), they’re both older so they were there before any of the other current boxers.

Hoy came from another boxing league but joined the WVBA once he realized his old league was very stingy on his paychecks. Because of the money the WVBA produced from both the recording sales and how much money they raked in for allowing the boxers to be as theatric as they wanted.

Although his hard work and determination led him to rising in the ranks, his sales were low. So, he studied what made boxers among him so popular: their personas. So, Hoy decided to also stretch his creative muscles too. He upped the ante and straight up brought a stick into the ring. It became a Hoy Quarlow staple. That, and the fact that he started to ditch the shorts and shirtless look to take on something with more personality.

Super Macho Man came in with that name all while being a scrawny kid. Believe it or not, but for a good while, SMM was considered a Glass Joe figure when he first started. When he got in the groove though and started upping his gains, he quickly rose in the ranks and grew into the name he gave himself.

He originally joined the WVBA because he wanted to be a movie star, anticipating that the sales of the WVBA recordings will get more eyes on him and he’d be recruited on for actual movies and not just fights. However, as he started to fight more, he became happier with the spectacle of being a WVBA boxer and the fame he gained, deciding to make his main goal staying at the top and not so much appearing in movies (although he’ll absolutely take a movie deal when offered).

Hoy and Macho were sorta aggressive to each other at first. Hoy, still riding high from his placement in his past league, looked down on a lot of other boxers. This is a character flaw that, of course, got resolved later in life (we can see this with how he acts with Birdie in the SNES Super Punch-Out!!), but it was definitely a flaw he had in life at one point. He saw Macho as full of himself and not yet having the skill to back it up. He correctly guessed that Macho was doing this for fame and judged him accordingly, seeing it as an unfit reason for joining the WVBA.

Macho saw Hoy as full of himself as well. He thought Hoy needed to get over himself and stop being so “needlessly mean.” Macho knew his pursuit wasn’t noble, but to him, it didn’t matter. He was so full of himself to pre-set his persona with actually being this, well…. a super macho man. He believed he’d grow into the name (which he did). He found it stupid how Hoy was only about a decade older and he was judging Macho this hard. Macho would often tell him straight up that one day, Hoy would be eating his words and watching Macho rise while Hoy himself sank down the ranks. This is only… uh… half true.

Right now, Macho and Hoy and right next to each other in the Special Circuit. Macho is Rank #1, right before Mr. Sandman (The WVBA Champion). Hoy is Rank #2 in the Special Circuit, right before Super Macho Man.

As they both aged, Macho and Hoy started to get along. With Hoy becoming sillier and way more relaxed, he was able to connect with Macho more. With Macho getting more full of himself, Hoy sorta saw himself in him and although he has fun with him, is trying to guide him away from the lonely life that being that high in ranks can bring. There’s all these camera flashes and people will be all over you and asking for deals, but they don’t love you.

OKAY… now that that’s over, I’ll be putting more headcanons under the cut. It’ll be more shippy, but it’ll still work as a “background section” if that makes sense that outlines their life together. I think this post should be in general about their background. Okay… cool.

I think Macho was kinda mixed up about his feelings for Hoy. Their relationship was definitely simmering for years, real rivals to fun friendly rivalry to friends to lovers. Macho never expected to fall for Hoy at all, and when he did, he didn’t know how to feel. He wondered what it’d be like to date another league member. Could he do that? What would the press do? Would the gossip magazines make Hoy look like a cougar… 🤨? Either way, he was nervous.

What also adds to it is that Macho is a pretty famous playboy. If he starts actually dating long-term (which he… actually kinda wants to explore with Hoy), how would that affect his reputation? With all these worries involving insecurities from outsiders, he was definitely indecisive with what he wanted to do. Hoy on the other hand… had different problems.

I fully subscribe to the “Hoy is Dragon Chan’s grandparent” headcanon. Hoy’s wife (aka Dragon Chan’s grandma, was married. They had a daughter who, just like her son, was a very determined kickboxer. She fell in love with Dragon’s father and they soon had a son, Dragon Chan. However, one fateful day, when Dragon was about 10 or so, his parents died in a fatal car accident (or at least that’s what my explanation is right now). Years later, Hoy’s wife died as well. She had a heart attack, although many say it was onset by a broken heart.

Dragon Chan, after getting kicked out of his kickboxing league while trying to live up to his mother’s legacy, joined the WVBA and gave him a place there. Dragon became popular quickly, and his ego became bigger (this is supported by his overconfidence in the ring and in pre fight rounds alongside his “chicken dance taunt” when he KO’s/TKO’s you). Dragon’s behavior only slightly reminds Hoy of his own ego at that age, and Hoy, although still giving advice to his grandson, knows that Dragon needs to discover his own path to humbleness.

Okay back to the tragedy of Hoy’s wife, daughter, and son-in-law. These tragedies caused Hoy to feel as if death followed him and anyone he loves. He blamed himself for all of their deaths, even if he had nothing to do with them. He was afraid to love again and to make another family, although this attitude is usually hidden by his now lighthearted personality.

Of course, this caused Hoy’s love life to become… confused I guess? Hoy was deathly worried of his family hurting even more. He was also worried for Dragon Chan, believing that there’s a chance he’d be mad that Hoy is trying to “replace” his grandma and pretend she never existed. Of course, Dragon doesn’t really care for that. His problem arises with Hoy’s dating choices when he realizes that it’s Super Macho Man of all people that Hoy is dating like huh that jerk grandpa? That loser? Cmon

I’ll probably elaborate on this in another post but the beef between Dragon Chan and Super Macho Man is so special to me. It’s like a family movie where the kid doesn’t like their new step-dad except the kid is a 22 year old grandchild who can actually kick Macho’s ass if he wanted to (and he does)

I think the first person to actually make a move was Super Macho Man. Macho was able to catch Hoy in the locker room after a fight and he asked Hoy if he would like to “hang out” sometime together, outside of WVBA mixers or some other thing, of course.

Hoy found it cute. He sorta laughed softly at it at first before he saw Macho’s dejected face. He realized it was genuinely series and he kinda flushed. Definitely went kinda quiet with an “O…Oh,” before trying to think of what to say next.

He agrees by the way. Though I think in another post I’ll elaborate

Annddddd that’s all I have for now! Thank you for reading and I’m sorry it was so long! These guys have been in my head for a bit now woah

#punch out #hoy quarlow #super macho man #machoquarlow #dragon chan #sorry for the ramblings I’m insane #quinn speaks #long post