#master list of bls

[absolutebl]

BL Master Post - List

List of 415 BLs as of mid 2022

This is just a list by request pulled from the Spreadsheet of Doom which contains all 400+ BLs that I have watched, dnf'd, or am currently watching. Dated June 30, 2022. 

It is in order by country (alphabetized) then year (oldest at the top) then rating out of 10. It includes shorts, movies, series, and compilations. In cases where there are multiple country production houses, it will fall under the dominant language (e.g. Peach of Time is under Korea). Feel free to gank. The spreadsheet of doom does contain most of my original sources for these, so if you want help tracking some of the more obscure ones down just ask in a comment. 

I have added these lists by country to the bottom of my History of the Genre posts. 

Japanese BL

Chinese BL

Taiwanese BL

Korean BL

Thai BL

China

2014 Like Love 1: I Love You As A Man: Part 1 - 5 2015 Falling in Love with a Rival: Counterattack - 3 2015 Mr. X and I: Us Against the World - 3 2015 Like Love 2: Nobody Knows But Me - 2 2016 Addicted Heroin - 8 2016 Irresistible Love: Secret of the Valet - 5 2016 Irresistible Love 2: Uncontrolled Love - 6 2016 Fanatic Love - 5 2016 Queer Beauty: Oppressive Love - 3 2016 Ghost Boyfriend 1 - 2 2016 The Male Queen: Han Zi Gao - 1 2016 Lost Love - 1 2016 A Round Trip to Love - 1 2017 Customized Companion - dnf 2017 Glass Heart - dnf 2017 Legend of Long Yang: Rebirth 6 2017 Mr. CEO is Falling in Love with Him - 5 2017 Till Death Tear Us Apart: In This Case A Pleasant Lifetime Alone: Love is in a Blaze - 5 2017 His Cat: His Cat Boyfriend - 5 2017 Advance Bravely - 5 2017 The Fairy Fox - 3 2017 Beloved Enemy - 3 2017 Ghost Boyfriend 2 - 2 2017 Love is Not Easy to Have: Rare Love - 2 2017 Swinging Blossom - 2 2017 Find You In The Crowd compilation - 1 2018 River Knows Fish Heart - 6 2018 Guardian - 6 2018 Past Youth - 2 2018 Ghost Boyfriend 3 - 2 2019 Mermaid's Jade - 4 2019 Broken Youth - 4 2020 The Untamed - 6 2020 Precise Shot - 4 2020 Capture Lover - 4 2020 Youth in the Breeze: People of the Skyy compilation - 3 2021 Word of Honor - 8 2021 My Esports Genius Brother - 7 2021 Every Moment that I Think of You - 5 2022 In Your Heart - 2

HONG KONG 

2012 From Here to There - 2 2014 For Love, We Can - 2 2015 I Go To School Not By Bus - 2 2018 S.C.I. - 4 2021 Ossan's Love Love or Dead - 5 2021 I'm a Fool for You 1 & 2 - 4

JAPAN 

2006 Boys Love compilation - 1 2007 Takumi-kun 1: And The Spring Breeze Whispers - 5 2007 Itsuka no Kimi e - 5 2007 Boys Love: The Movie Boys Love 2 AKA Schoolboy Crush - 2 2008 Ai no Kotodama - 5 2008 Gymnasium Baby Taiikukan Baby - 3 2008 Melody of Our Love: Bokura no Ai no Kanade - 3 2008 Forbidden Love - 2 2008 Asymmetry - 2 2009 Takumi-kun 2: Rainbow Colored Glass - 5 2010 Junjou Pure Heart - 6 2010 Ai no Kotodama 2: Sekai no Hate Made - 6 2010 Takumi-kun 3: The Beauty of Detail - 5 2010 Takumi-kun 4: Pure - 4 2011 Takumi-kun 1: DaiMao Version (fan made) - 6 2011 Takumi-kun 5: That, Sunny Blue Sky - 5 2012 Fujimi Orchestra - 3 2013 Love Place: Hakanaki Kata Omoi: Gaiya no Koi: Shape of Happiness 1 - 3 2013 Love Place: Shiawase no Katachi: Shape of Happiness 2 - 4 2014 Docchi Mo Docchi: Same Difference - 5 2014 No Touching At All:  Doushitemo Furetakunai - 5 2014 Coming Out: Kamingu Auto - 3 2015 Seven Days: Monday-Thursday: Friday-Sunday - 10 2015 Candy and Kiss - 7 2015 Wait For Me at Udagawachou: Udagawachou de Matteteyo - 5 2015 Forever Summer - 2 2017 Silhouette of Your Voice: Hidamari ga Kikoeru - 7 2017 Double Mints - 2 2018 Ossan's Love original - 6 2018 Does the Flower Bloom? - 5 2018 Pornographer: The Novelist - 3 2019 What Did You Eat Yesterday?: Kinou Nani Tabeta? - 6 2019 Athlete - 4 2019 His: I Didn't Think I Would Fall In Love - 3 2019 Mood Indigo: Pornographer series - 3 2019 The Shortest Distance is Round (Blanc): Saitankyori wa Mawari Kudokute - 2 2019 The Shortest Distance is Round (Noir): Saitankyori wa Mawari Kudokute - 1 2020 Cherry Magic: 30 Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard AKA 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii - 9 2020 Restart After Come Back Home: Risutato wa tadaima no ato de - 8 2020 Life: Love on the Line Life: Senjou no Bokura - 8 2020 His the movie - 6 2020 Love Stage!! :Rabu Suteiji - 5 2020 Sei no Gekiyaku:  Dangerous Drugs of Sex - 4 2020 The Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese: Kyuso wa Chizu no Yume wo Miru - 2 2020 The Shortest Distance 3: Fallen Flowers Saitankyori Wa Mawari Kudokute: Rakka Ryūsui Japan 1 2020 The Shortest Distance is Round 2 : Rain and Soda Saitankyori wa Mawari Kudokute: Ame to Soda Mizu Japan 1 2021 Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko: Absolute BL: A Man Who Defies The World of BL. - 10 2021 Utsukushii Kare: My Beautiful Man - 9 2021 Kieta Hatsukoi: Vanishing My First Love My Love Mix Up - 8 2021 Given: Givun - 8 2021 Pornographer Playback: Pornographer series - 5 2022 Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko 2 Absolute BL 2 A Man Who Defies The World of BL 2 - 10 2022 Fukou-kun wa Kiss Suru Shikanai! Mr Unlucky AKA Mr. Unlucky Can Only Kiss AKA Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice but to Kiss! - 8 2022 Old Fashion Cupcake: Old-Fashioned Cupcake - ?  2022 Minato Coin Laundry: Wash My Heart!: Minato's Laundromat: Minato Shouji Koin Randorii - ?

KOREA 

2006 No Regrets - 1 2008 Boy Meets Boy - 4 2008 A Frozen Flower - 1 2009 Just Friends?: Chingu Sai? - 8 2010 Love, 100℃ - 1 2011 Nabang Spark - 4 2012 Suddenly Last Summer - 5 2012 Two Weddings and a Funeral - 5 2012 Going South - 2 2013 Something, Crunchy Crunchy - dnf 2014 So Refreshed! - 2 2014 Diary of Heong Yeong Dang: Drama Festival 2014: The Diary of Heong Yeong Dang - 1 2014 I'm Horny Now! - 1 2014 Night Flight - 1 2014 Some - 1 2015 The Lover BL Cut - 5 2015 Open - 4 2015 Weird Housemates - 4 2015 A Naked Boy - 1 2016 My Eleventh Brother - 4 2016 Jealousy is My Guest - 2 2017 Long Time No See (Strongberry) - 7 2017 Free Bird - 4 2017 Secret Spectacles (Strongberry) - 4 2017 Tilted Summer - 2 2017 Tropical Night - 2 2017 Method - 2 2017 Mind - 2 2017 The Boy Next Door - 1 2018 Some More (Strongberry) - 8 2018 Step For You (Strongberry) - 7 2018 Being Me - 6 2018 My Pistachio (Strongberry) - 6 2018 Summerdaze: Stay Away From Me - 5 2018 Table Manner (Strongberry) - 4 2018 In Between Seasons - 1 2019 As if You Whisper (Strongberry) - 6 2019 Sonnet 18 - 6 2019 My Personal Trainer (Strongberry) - 5 2019 One Last Order - 5 2020 Wish You: Your Melody in My Heart - 9 2020 Where Your Eyes Linger - 8 2020 Mr. Heart: mr heart - 7 2020 Private Lessons (Strongberry) - 7 2020 Secret Roommate (Strongberry) - 5 2021 On His Turf:  On My Turf - dnf 2021 Color Rush - 10 2021 Light On Me - 10 2021 To My Star - 10 2021 A First Love Story (Strongberry) - 9 2021 Nobleman Ryu's Wedding - 9 2021 My Sweet Dear - 8 2021 The Tasty Florida - 8 2021 You Make Me Dance - 8 2021 Made in Rooftop - 7 2021 Peach of Time - 6 2021 Confidential Coffee Break (Strongberry) - 6 2021 Sweet Curse (Strongberry) - 6 2021 Hold Me - 6 2021 Fingers After (Strongberry) - 5 2021 My "S" Partner - 4 2022 Semantic Error - 10 2022 Blueming - 9 2022 Cherry Blossoms After Winter - 9 2022 Tinted With You - 8 2022 Oh! Boarding House - 8 2022 Behind Cut - 8 2022 Love Class - 8 2022 Ocean Likes Me - 8 2022 Color Rush 2 - 7 2022 First Love Again - 7 2022 Blue of Winter Judo Boys - 3 2022 Kissable Lips - 2 2022 Love in Spring: Spring of Crush - ? 2022 To My Star 2: Our Untold Stories - ?

THE PHILIPPINES

2014 Geography Lessons: Lisyun qng Geografia - 3  2016 4 Days - 5  2020 In Between: Sa Pagitan ng Kamusta at Paalam - dnf  2020 The Shore - dnf  2020 Amore - dnf  2020 Boyband Love - ? 4 2020 Happenstance - ?  2020 Gameboys the series - 9  2020 Like In The Movies: Gaya Sa Pelikula - 8  2020 My Day the series - 8  2020 The Boy Foretold by the Stars - 6  2020 Meet Me Outside - 5  2020 Win Jaime's Heart - 5  2021 Jack & Jill - dnf  2021 Love is the series - dnf  2021 Stuck on You - dnf  2022 Rainbow Prince - 6 

SINGAPORE

2022 Getaway: Get Away dnf

TAIWAN 

2006 Eternal Summer: Eternal Summers - 2 2012 Pair of Love - 3 2014 100 Apples - 4 2016 Friend or Lover - 6 2016 He's Out There Somewhere - 1 2017 HIStory: Obsessed - 8 2017 Red Balloon - 7 2017 HIStory: Stay Away From Me - 6 2017 HIStory: My Hero - 6 2017 Faded - 5 2017 We Are Gamily - 5 2017 Dark Blue and Moonlight - 3 2018 HIStory 2: Crossing the Line - 9 2018 HIStory 2: Right or Wrong - 8 2019 The Teacher - dnf 2019 HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count - 2 2019 HIStory 3: Trapped - 7 2019 Departure - 3 2019 Bro and Me Bro & Me - 3 2020 Because of You - 7 2020 Craving You - 5 2020 Our Memory - 3 2020 Your Name Engraved Herein - 2 2021 We Best Love No. 1 For You - 10 2021 We Best Love Fighting Mr. 2nd - 10 2021 Be Loved In House I Do - 9 2021 Love is Science? BL Cut - 9 2021 See You After Quarantine? - 8 2021 HIStory 4: Close to You - 8 2021 Papa & Daddy - 7 2021 My Type - 7 2021 Innocent - 5 2021 Light - 5 2021 Friend or Lover - 5 2021 The Immeasurable - 4 2021 The Immeasurable - 4 2022 Plus & Minus AKA Plus and Minus - 8 2022 DNA Says Love You - 8

THAILAND 

2007 Love of Siam - 2 2013 Timeline - 3 2013 Love Next Door 1 - 2 2014 Love Sick - 7 2014 Love Next Door 2 - 4 2014 My Bromance the movie - 2 2015 Love Sick 2 - 7 2015 Love Love You - 3 2015 Water Boyy the movie - 2 2015 Feel Good to Say Goodbye - 2 2015 Same Same Is Not The Same - 2 2015 Red Wine in the Dark Night - 1 2016 Puppy Honey BL Cut - 8 2016 SOTUS - 8 2016 Make it Right - 7 2016 The Right Man Because I Love You - 5 2016 Sweet Student Boy Sweet Boy - 2 2016 Gray - 2 2016 My Bromance the series - 1 2016 Grey Rainbow: Views of Love - 1 2017 SOTUS S - 8 2017 Puppy Honey2 BL Cut - 8 2017 Make it Right 2 - 7 2017 My Dear Loser Edge of 17 - 6 2017 2 Moons the series - 6 2017 Together with Me - 6 2017 I Am Your King 1 - 3 2017 Waterboyy the series - 3 2017 I Love You - 2 2017 Present Perfect - 2 2018 SOTUS Our Skyy - 8 2018 Kiss Me Again PeteKao - 8 2018 Love By Chance - 8 2018 My Tee: Cause You're My Boy - 6 2018 InnSun Our Skyy My Dear Loser - 5 2018 PeteKao Our Skyy Dark Blue Kiss - 5 2018 PickRome Our Skyy Puppy Honey - 5 2018 You Had Me At Hello - 5 2018 TeeMork Our Skyy My Tee - 5 2018 My Dream - 3 2018 Together with Me the next chapter - 3 2018 What the Duck - 2 2019 Until We Meet Again: The Red Thread - 10 2019 He's Coming to Me - 9 2019 Dark Blue Kiss - 8 2019 Theory of Love - 8 2019 TharnType - 8 2019 2 Moons 2 - 7 2019 3 Will Be Free - 7 2019 Great Men Academy - 6 2019 Good Loser 2 parts - 5 2019 With Love the series - 5 2019 I Am Your King 2 - 3 2019 Before I Love You 3 parts - 3 2019 2 Wish the series - 3 2019 Love Poison - 3 2019 Make it Live on the Beach: Make It Live: On The Beach - 3 2019 Reminders - 3 2019 The Best Twins - 2 2019 The Effect - 2 2019 Dew the Movie - 1 2020 Ghost Runner - dnf 2020 I Told The Sunset About You - dnf 2020 Oxygen the series - 9 2020 Still 2gether - 8 2020 2gether - 8 2020 Why R U? - 8 2020 En of Love Love Mechanics - 7 2020 My Engineer - 7 2020 Ingredients the series - 7 2020 Theory of Love special - 7 2020 Love By Chance 2: A Chance at Love - 6 2020 My Gear and Your Gown - 6 2020 Present Still Perfect - 6 2020 En of Love: This is Love Story - 6 2020 En of Love: Tossera - 6 2020 Location - 5 2020 YYY the series - 5 2020 Friend Forever - 5 2020 So Much In Love - 5 2020 TharnType 2: Seven Years of Love - 5 2020 Night of Love - 4 2020 YYY Special - 3 2020 The Moment - 3 2021 My Boy - dnf 2021 Call it What You Want - dnf 2021 Call it What You Want 2 - dnf 2021 I Promised You the Moon: I Told Sunset About You - dnf 2021 Love Poison 2 - dnf 2021 Hidden Love - dnf 2021 Country Boy - dnf 2021 1000 Stars A Tale of Thousand Stars - 9 2021 Lovely Writer - 9 2021 Golden Blood - 8 2021 Nitiman - 7 2021 Manner of Death - 7 2021 Second Chance - 7 2021 Y-Destiny - 6 2021 Gen Y the series - 6 2021 My Mate Match - 6 2021 The Yearbook - 6 2021 Bite Me - 6 2021 Once in Memory: Wish Me Luck - 6 2021 Once in Memory - 6 2021 Love Advisor - 6 2021 Tonhon Chonlatee - 6 2021 Top Secret Together - 5 2021 Love With Benefits - 5 2021 Siew Sum Noi - 5 2021 Love Area Part 1 - 5 2021 The Best Story YinWar - 5 2021 Don’t Say No LeoFiat Special - 5 2021 Evening Cafe - 5 2021 Brothers - 4 2021 Close Friend Season 1 - 4 2021 Loveless Society - 4 2021 7 Project BL Cut - 4 2021 Fish Upon the Sky - 4 2021 The Cupid Coach - 3 2021 My Bromance 2: 5 Years Later - 3 2021 The Couple - 3 2021 Hometown's Embrace - 3 2021 Love Machine - 1 2022 Saneha Stories 4: Thanon Sai Saneha - dnf 2022 Rak Diao Thai BL sitcom - dnf 2022 Restart(ed): Restarted - dnf 2022 7 Days 7 Boys - dnf 2022 Country Boy - dnf 2022 The Miracle of Teddy Bear - dnf 2022 My Ride Thai 9 2022 Bad Buddy Thai 9 2022 Not Me OffGun Thai 9 2022 Love Stage!! Love Stage - 8 2022 What Zabb Man! Star Hunter - 8 2022 Cutie Pie - 8 2022 Star in My Mind Star and Sky - 8 2022 Dear Doctor, I'm Coming for Soul - 7 2022 Enchanté Enchante - 7 2022 Secret Crush On You - 7 2022 La Cuisine - 7 2022 Paint With Love - 6 2022 Close Friend 2 Season 2 - 6 2022 You're My Sky: Star and Sky - 6 2022 Cupid's Last Wish - 6 2022 Gen Y 2: Season 2 - 5 2022 The Love of Winter - 5 2022 Meow Ears Up - 4 2022 Our Days - 4 2022 Physical Therapy - 3 2022 The Tuxedo - 3 2022 Love Area Part 2 - 3 2022 That's My Candy KimCop - 3 2022 Something In My Room - 3 2022 Triage the series - ? 2022 KinnPorsche - ? 2022 Check Out - ? 2022 Sky in Your Heart: Star and Sky - ? 2022 My Secret Love: Secret Admirer - ? 2022 Love Mechanics YinWar Thai ?

VIETNAM 

2017 My Sky BẦU TRỜI CỦA KHÁNH - 2 2018 The Ring Goes Missing - 5 2019 Hey! First Love AKA My Sky Dam My hoc Doung - 5 2019 Goodbye Mother Thua Me Con D - 3 2020 Stage of Love - 6 2020 Sea Him TienTai universe - 5 2020 Tien Bromance EXTRA - 5 2020 Tien Bromance - 1 2021 My Lascivious Boss ÔNG CHỦ, ĐỪNG ĐẾN ĐÂY - 7 2021 You Are Ma Boy EM LÀ CHÀNG TRAI CỦA ANH - 7 2021 Nation's Brother - 7 2021 Hay Rival, I LOVE YOU! - 6 2021 Follow My Sunshine SAU VẠT NẮNG - 6 2021 Stupid Boys Stupid Love YÊU ĐI SỢ GÌ - 6 2021 Monster in Law Mẹ Chồn Dâu Cáo - 6 2021 Most Peaceful Place Is You - 6 2021 You Are My Sunshine - 4 2021 Fools - 4 2022 Next Door Crush - dnf 2022 Mr Cinderella Xem trọn bộ Mr Cinderella - 8 2022 The Promise - 5 2022 You Are My Stupid Boy - 5 2022 Want to See You - ?

(this was by request from @roices )

source 

#thai bl list #list of all bls #bl list #master list of bls #all bls #thai bl #taiwanese bl #pinoy bl #korean bl #kbl #k-bl #th-bl #ta0bl #ta-bl #japanese bl #adapted from a manga #meta post #master post

[save-the-data]

WORKS IN PROGRESS 

The Eclipse | S01E04

Thai Drama - 2022, 12 episodes

EP 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Love in the Air | S01E03

Thai Drama - 2022, 13 episodes

EP 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

War of Y | S01E05

Thai Drama - 2022, 20 episodes

EP 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Unforgotten Night | S01E11

Thai Drama - 2022, 12 episodes

EP 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Vice Versa | S01E06

Thai Drama - 2022, 12 episodes

EP 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

On Cloud Nine | S01E04

Thai Drama - 2022, 6 episodes

EP 1 2 3 4 5 6

Takara-kun to Amagi-kun | S01E02

Japanese Drama - 2022, 8 episodes

EP 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

My Only 12% | S01E02

Thai Drama - 2022, 14 episodes

Minato Shouji Coin Laundry | S01E10

Japanese Drama - 2022, 12 episodes

EP 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Kamen Rider Saber | S01E05

Japanese Drama - 2020, 48 episodes

EP 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48

Work From Heart | S01E03

Thai Drama - 2022, 4 episodes

What If | S01E02

Thai Drama - 2022, 5 episodes

EP 1 2 3 4 5

[iamthinkingaboutvariousthings]

BL Recommendations Lists

bl rec lists highly recommended bl trope based rec lists setting based rec lists platform based rec lists country based bl rec lists intro to bl

Country Specific Rec Lists

thai bl rec lists korean bl rec lists japanese bl rec lists vietnamese bl rec lists pinoy bl rec lists mainland china bl rec lists

Lists (& Meta) by Tumblr-ers

absolutebl rec lists absolutebl meta heretherebedork rec lists heretherebedork's bl recommendation tag heretherebedork meta savethedata lists stormyoceans lists lutawolf meta iguessitsjustme meta bengiyo meta moonchildridden meta my thoughts

Rec Lists by Platform

gagaoolala rec lists iqiyi rec lists viki rec lists youtube bl rec lists gmmtv rec lists grey site bl bl 2022

Very Specific Rec Lists

action bl adults in bl age gaps in bl bl with rough starts domestic bl D/s in bl enemies to lovers bl hair based rec lists high school bl HIStory series lighthearted bl rec lists mame series not highly recced bl teachers in bl university bl

master post

#bl rec lists #bl resources #master post #tag list

[friendship-got-faster]

Decided the ponies of the AU need some alternative names better fit for the world of Equestria!

(and so they they can bs properly identified separately from the original sonic cast)

Here's a master list of all the names for everypony:

• Ponies

– Sonic Boom (Sonic)

– Twisty Tails (Tails)

– Ace Rose ("Ace") (Amy)

– Creme brulee ("Creme") (Cream)

– Bulky Catch ("Bulk") (Big)

– Mareroon ("Roon") (Rouge) batpony

– Shadow Sparks (Shadow)

– Silver stardust (Silver)

• Other Creatures

– Buckles ("Bucks") (Knuckles) Zebra

– Tenochtitlan ("Teno") (Tikal) Zebra

– Blazing Aster (Blaze) Kirin

– Mareef (Marine) Hippogriff

– Espionage (Espio) Dragon

– Scorcher (Vector) Dragon

– Hamuli (Charmy) Changeling

• Machines

– Timber Omega (T-123 Omega) (Omega)

– Metal Boom (Metal Sonic)

(this list will be updated if I think of any additional characters I'd like to include )

╰┈➤ Tags––––––––––

Some character are still referred to by there original name, so for tags I'll be using

The original name of that Character (e.g. Amy)

The original, fullname (e.g. Amy Rose)

The AU name (e.g. Ace Rose)

→ Explaining the nameing ––––––––––

• Ace Rose ––––––––––

→ Card pun

• Creme Brulee ––––––––––

→ Creme Brulee is a type of dessert which primarily uses cream!

• Bulky Catch ––––––––––

→ a play on his size but a hint to his love of fishing! (and because he quite the catch himself, we love big in these parts)

• Mareroon ––––––––––

→ since "Rouge" is a color, I decided to pick another color as the alternative name. Maroon not only works for the pun, but is also a color associated with bl*od, which felt appropriate for a bat pony

• Shadow Sparks ––––––––––

→ he's a dark figure, illuminated only by the sparks of his own magic

• Buckles ––––––––––

→ Horses (or Zebras in this case) don't have hands, so they don't have Knuckles, so they can't punch. Horses do however, have hooves, and can kick, this Buckles, Bucks!

• Tenochtitlan ––––––––––

→ Tikal is named after a temple, so I figured her AU name should be named after a temple in Equestria, and I landed on the Tenochtitlan temple, not much is actually known for this temple in universe, so writing will be required.

• Blazing Aster ––––––––––

→ the Kirin have plant/nature related names. Aster is a kind of purple flower so I figured it fit best!

• Mareef ––––––––––

→ "Marine" is in reference to general Ocean life, which is very prominent in Coral Reefs.

• Espionage ––––––––––

→ Dragons usually have short names that list off a specific trait, Espio is short of espionage which refers to spying

• Scorcher ––––––––––

→ A hint at his fire breath (or fire tunes if you'd like)

• Hamuli ––––––––––

→ the changelings tend to have names that reference bug anatomy or topics, "Hamuli" are a structure found on honeybee wings.

• Timber Omega ––––––––––

→ Omega is a term used for wolf rankings in some cases, so perhaps it's used for Timberwolves as well! Omegas design will reflect that aspect as well as what powers him

#names #text answer #text post #mlp fgf #friendship got faster au

[bl-bracket]

Build-a-BL: Off the Market

From Aof Noppharnach and Jojo Tichakorn, comes a new show.

Night (First Kanaphan) has been struggling financially for years now, having to pay off his late mother's debts. Until one day he hears about the opportunity of a lifetime. At the upcoming local night market, there is going to be a special exhibit, featuring many priceless artifacts for display. A new job opportunity puts Night right by the artifacts. If he can manage to just grab one of the items being displayed, selling it would give him more than money to pay off the remaining debt and set up a new and good life for himself. But stealing something with such tight security is not a task for one man.

Ace (Khaotung Thanawat) is a burnt out private eye who had long been disillusioned about what good he could do against all the corruption in the world. What's worse, his cases keep causing him to run into Mercy (Mix Sahaphap), a notorious jewel thief that gets in his way and under his skin. At first he wrote it off as an unlucky coincidence, but when Mercy kept showing up at all of his cases, even those that there was no real reason for Mercy to be involved, he had to concede that for some reason Mercy was pursuing him. Against his better judgment, Ace finds himself in bed with Mercy more than he'd care to admit.

When Ace hears about a night market hosting a series of valuable items for display, his private eye senses scream at him that there's something more to what's on display, which is how he meets Night. Inevitably Mercy also gets involved and soon the trio find themselves tangled together as they begin to unravel something far bigger and sinister than they imagine.

Meanwhile, Night's estranged step-sister Dawn (Milk Pansa) is a rookie detective. When she hears about suspicious activity surrounding a night market, she goes to investigate, but is surprised that none of her superiors seem to have any interest in the matter. Things get more complicated when she keeps hearing the name Viper (Bible Wichapas), a respected businessman that all her colleagues seem to respect, tied to what's happening at the night market. What's more, she recently met the mysterious Ruby (Silvy Pavida), who seems to know more than she lets on, but Dawn finds herself inexplicably drawn to her.

Things only escalate by the sudden involvement of Prince (Jeff Satur) a master thief and Mercy's long time rival. Except Prince doesn't seem to be at the night market to steal and his apparent connection with Viper causes more confusion.

Will Night, Ace, and Mercy be able to work together to accomplish their goals? Will the tangled web of corruption be revealed? What are they willing to sacrifice to create the future they want for themselves?

(Full list of details under cut. Also this is 100% a collaborative effort and is about as public domain as a concept for a fictional show can be. If there is anything you want to add or make, please do! Tag me too because I want to see lol)

Country of Origin: Thailand

Primary Genre: Heist

Secondary Genre: Detective

Primary Location: Night Market

Director: Aof Noppharnach (He's Coming to Me, Dark Blue Kiss, A Tale of Thousand Stars, Bad Buddy, Moonlight Chicken, Last Twilight)

Screenwriter: Jojo Tichakorn (3 Will Be Free, Only Friends)

Main Relationship: Throuple

Main Actor: First Kanaphan (The Shipper, Not Me, The Eclipse, Moonlight Chicken, Only Friends)

Love Interests: Khaotung Thanawat (2gether, A Tale of Thousand Stars, The Eclipse, Moonlight Chicken, Only Friends) and Mix Sahaphap (A Tale of a Thousand Stars, Cupid's Last Wish, Moonlight Chicken)

Heat Level: Maximum Heat (Love in the Air, Kinnporsche, Big Dragon)

Number of side couples: 1

Side Couple: Milk Pansa (Bad Buddy, Vice Versa, 23.5) & Silvy Pavida (The Warp Effect, Laws of Attraction)

Antagonists: Jeff Satur (Ingredients, Kinnporsche, Wuju Bakery) & Bible Wichapas (Kinnporsche)

Tropes: Enemies with Benefits & “I would burn the world for you” & Found Family & Anti-Establishment & Sponge Bath

Character Color Theme: Dark Blue (First Kanaphan), Purple (Khaotung Thanawat), Hot Pink (Mix Sahaphap)

Ending Type: Happy Ending

Show Title: Off the Market

Character names: First Kanaphan - Night, Khaotung Thanawat - Ace, Mix Sahaphap - Mercy, Milk Pansa - Dawn, Silvy Pavida - Ruby, Jeff Satur - Prince, Bible Wichapas - Viper

#bl bracket #bl drama #bl shows #build a bl #off the market

[respectthepetty]

do you happen to have any other bls with toxic kings up your sleeve? i’m as giddy as you when it comes to ming! i’m newer to bls, so there’s a good chance i haven’t seen whatever you suggest.

Anon, I have an entire roster of toxic characters because

I LOVE TOXIC BITCHES!

Like 2 Chainz rapped on one of my favorite songs, "I love bad bitches, that's my fuckin' problem" which is why I HATE when a story won't allow characters to be toxic. Like we all know the character IS toxic, but the story keeps telling us he isn't that bad or he is only that bad because reasons. Regardless of the reasons, the character is a bad bitch so why not just let him fucking own it, which is truly the reason Only Friends pissed me off so much.

Case and point, my favorite characters were Ray and Nick. Ray was calling Sand a whore every two seconds and throwing money at him, while Nick was recording non-consexual sex tapes, yet the narrative wanted me to think they were just sad dudes who were slightly problematic.

NAH! Nick straight up said he was trash! THEY WERE TOXIC just like everyone else in that damn show!

Which is why I liked Kang in Dangerous Romance because I don't feel like the narrative eased up on his toxicity. In fact, I feel like the story said Sailom was into it with that master/servant scene at the very end.

So in order for me to love a toxic character, they must 1) be considered toxic by the story, and 2) stay toxic, so I'm going to give you a list of ten of my favorites, but know that spoilers are coming your way too. Also know that I do not recommend anything, ever, so these are not recommendations. These are merely my favorite toxicitos.

Mis tóxicos favoritos

presented in no particular order

Todd - Not Me

This man had his lover (it's canon to me) beat into a coma. Then, he went and grabbed that man's twin brother and made him take on his lover's persona all so he could overthrow his competition and be the number one evil capitalist. And then, AND THEN, he was excited to see his lover, Black, return even though he knew that meant he was probably going to die. Honestly, his entire relationship with Black was toxic, and I desperately need more of it. Not Me 2: Blackout when? WHEN, GMMTV?!

Rio & Kido - The Novelist Series

Rio blew Kido in front of an old man in broad daylight, so they could get a book deal. That's just one of the many fucked up things these two did together, but they were even worse apart. Rio lied to a college student for months about his arm being injured and writing pornographic novels just to turn on the college student and fuck him because . . . he was bored? It's deeper than that, but it kinda ain't. Rio and Kido did toxic shit to feel alive and that's my special brand of toxic. I will never make excuses for them. I like them this way.

Yai - Big Dragon

The very beginning of this show, as in the very first scene, is Yai and Mangkorn having sex AFTER Yai drugged Mangkorn in hopes of sexually assaulting him and recording it. AND MANGKORN IS INTO IT! Yai tries to steal Mangkorn's phone and ruin his life too, but Mangkorn is so in love with Yai, that he is willing to play along with whatever Yai does including fighting Yai. This is one of my favorite BLs for a multitude of reasons, but the biggest is because instead of trying to tame Yai, Mangkorn just decided to match his toxic energy! I love that for them.

Songpol - Club Friday

Bank plays toxic very well, which is why he has two characters on this list, even though this show isn't technically a BL. Club Friday is already a hot mess express, so to be the most toxic character in a show filled with toxic characters means that Songpol was TOK-SICK! He cheated on his boyfriend with multiple men. When his boyfriend left him for a woman, he showed up outside of that woman's house calling her a whore. He then went to their wedding just so he could fuck his ex in a bathroom (on his wedding day). He continued to hook up with his ex, and sent a video to his ex's wife of them having sex, only for her to tell him to move into the house and continue having sex with her husband! AND THAT'S ONLY THE SECOND EPISODE! He was serving telenovela villain, and I want him back.

Vegas - KinnPorsche

The scene: Vegas' beloved hedgehog has just died and he has carried out a tiny funeral for him while the bodyguard he has been holding hostage AND TORTURING comforts him, but instead of sitting in that grief, Vegas tells the bodyguard that the bodyguard is probably turned on by seeing Vegas weak, then proceeds to fuck him. Skipping over the fact that Vegas drugged Porsche, killed Tawan, got Big and Ken murdered by extension, and a plethora of other horrible shit, Vegas was a HUGE red flag from the very beginning, and I wanted him to choke me so badly. *bites knuckles*

Charn - Laws of Attraction

He had his reasons, but the story and his husband didn't let that be an excuse for his toxic behavior. He tried burning down Tinn's house, with Tinn and his grandmother in it, and Tinn was very upset about it. Not enough to not sleep with Charn, but enough to get his point across that if Charn wanted to burn something down, he needed to focus on burning down the oppressive heteronormative government, so we could all have basic human rights. Toxic, but for the cause.

Chalothon - The Sign

I knew he was a problem because the way he handled his patients, but he truly proved how toxic he was when he told Phaya he would kill Tharn before letting Phaya have him. I'm mad that the show made him good in the last episode, with most of if being off-screen, but I'll always remember how he committed psychological warfare on Phaya for eleven episodes in hopes of making Phaya seem crazy, and actually made Tharn, Phaya's soulmate, question Phaya's sanity.

Mol - 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us

The only woman on this list and she isn't even queer. That's how toxic this chick was that she made it on a this list being a heterosexual, which was a major part of her toxicity. She is a top-tier gaslighter to her son. She doesn't actually consider Inn her friend. She uses feminist rhetoric to be homophobic. She manipulates every situation in her favor by using tears. I could write a list just about her being lead paint toxic, but the most fucked up part is that she got to ride off into the sunset with her son in the passenger seat being miserable, which is what she wanted. No other BL parent could reach her level. Korn and Gun from KinnPorsche exist, yet this woman would eat them alive without hesitation, then go throw a party for herself. She really is that bitch.

Yong Jie - HIStory 4: Close to You

I'm not going to bullshit around him being a whole ass problem. This motherfucker is the most controversial pick on this list, and I am well aware of why he is hated by the people, but the story told us he was the devil. The show treated everything he did like stalking, physical assault, and sexual assault as horrible, and he got knocked out for it. HIStory 4 is my favorite BL, ever, and part of it is because the story let this toxic motherfucker BE toxic. I love how much I hate him, and I love how much the story allows me to hate him.

So - House of Stars

This show was a mess, so I was not expecting this man to come out as THE toxic king to rule over every other toxic character. What made him so toxic is that I had no idea just how toxic he was until the exact moment I realized it, and that's why he is one of my favorites. He was sneaky. He was playing everyone against each other. He was letting the bodies stack up. He was Tan from Dead Friend Forever without anyone figuring out he was Tan. One person realized part of his plan, but even then, that person was not aware of how committed to the bit So was. This smile was the very last scene of the show, and it really proved that this boy ruined everyone's lives only to walk out of it completely unbothered. You know, king shit.

#toxic kings #I love toxic bitches #it's the unhinged behavior and mind games that always gets me #house of stars #history 4: close to you #180 degree longitude passes through us #club friday #kinnporsche #big dragon #laws of attraction #the sign #not me #the novelist

[emotionallychargedtowel]

Utsukushii Kare master post

With Utsukushii Kare: Eternal becoming available on streaming in Japan and rumors of international streaming distribution on the horizon, I thought this might be a good time to do a roundup post of all of my meta writing on the series so far. There's quite a bit of it. Between the complexity of the psychological themes in this series and my capacity for hyperfocus, I ended up with a lot to say.

In case it doesn't go without saying, this post is subject to change as I continue to post on this topic.

The psychological paradoxes of Utsukushii Kare

This is a series of posts (the current plan is to write three installments) about what it says on the tin: paradoxical psychological dynamics in Utsukushii Kare. These are things about the characters that may seem contradictory at first but can be accounted for by digging deeper into some psychological concepts. These posts are focused on the series (both seasons) but will draw from the movie and from the novel and related stories when they illustrate points about the series.

Part 1: Covert grandiosity and finding status through idealization - A pretty deep dive into 1) the subtle ways Hira shows that while his self-image can be highly negative in some ways, in other respects he feels superior to others and 2) how by elevating Kiyoi’s status and humbling himself in comparison, Hira attains a different kind of status.

An addendum of sorts to part 1: Hira's parents and his self-defeating tendencies - Some guesswork about how Hira's parents could have contributed to his self-defeating personality, with some further discussion of specific self-defeating strategies he uses in his relationship with Kiyoi and elsewhere.

Utsukushii Kare through the lens of pursuer-distancer dynamics and related psychological concepts:

The pursuer-distancer dyad & how it applies to the world of BL - a primer on this psychological concept and how it applies to BL generally, with a brief reference to how this concept applies to Utsukare (also touches on Semantic Error and talks in detail about an example from To My Star 2). This one isn't super focused on Utsukushii Kare but is pretty de rigeur for understanding my UK posts on this topic.

Paradoxical roles; or, I think I finally figured out the pursuer-distancer dynamic in Utsukushii Kare - This post comes after some of the posts listed below but I recommend reading it first as this is really where (I think) I cracked the code on this aspect of the story.

Pursuer-distancer roles & attachment style in Utsukushii Kare, Part 1: Hira - In-depth discussion of Hira's role in the pursuer-distancer dyad, his attachment style, and his personality

Pursuer-distancer roles and attachment style in Utsukushii Kare Part 2: Kiyoi - In-depth discussion of Kiyoi's role in the pursuer-distancer dyad, his attachment style, and his personality

Re-evaluating pursuing & distancing in Utsukushii Kare season 1 - super detailed post working out my thoughts about pursuing and distancing in season 1

On the way Sakai Mai (the series' director) uses seme left, uke right framing and its significance in BL and other Japanese media:

Using an example from the s2e1 with the girl who hits on Hira at a party (via a reblog of a gifset from @nanons)

On the way Sakai flips Hira's and Kiyoi's position in the frame in two versions of the same scene and what it tells us about its significance

How the persistent/cute trope plays out in Utsukushii Kare season 2, plus related overanalyses of the big season 2 finale kiss:

The persistent and the cute (how "persistent" and "cute" are code words with specific meanings in BL/yaoi/other drama and manga genres/Japanese culture more broadly)

Analyzing the season 2 finale kiss in light of seme left/uke right framing and the persistent/cute trope (in a reblog of a gif post by @nanons)

Reblogging @bl-bracket to lobby for the season 2 finale kiss, with more overanalysis

Fragrance nerd discussion:

This bittersweet fragrance - on the significance of osmanthus/tea olive in Utsukushii Kare season 2, with additional information on the possible significance of the fragrance of osmanthus and perfumes that are either osmanthus soliflores or feature prominent osmanthus notes

Posts on specific season 2 episodes:

initial thoughts about S2e1

Additional (informal) thoughts on s2e1

S2e1 rundown

Hira's incongruous/misaligned affect at the end of s2e1

S2e2 rundown

on S2e2, including pursuer-distancer dynamics and seme left, uke right

Utsukushii Kare S2E4: “face me straight on” (mostly discussing relationship dynamics pointed out in topic-specific metas)

on Utsukushii Kare: Eternal:

Kiyoi and Anna: on Kiyoi’s friendship with Anna and its significance for his personal growth

#utsukushii kare #utsukushii kare meta #utsukushii kare analysis #utsukushii kare season 1 #utsukushii kare season 2 #utsukushii kare 2 #utsukushii kare eternal #utsukushii kare: eternal #hira x kiyoi #japanese bl #jbl #my beautiful man #psychology of bl #pursuer distancer dynamic #attachment theory #attachment style

[absolutebl]

My 10 Favorite Aggressive Flirts in BL

Sparked by this question from @yousaygoodbyeandisay and the ensuing discussion. So we are going with aggressive flirts, not necessarily good or super successful flirts. Ready? These are my personal favorites, there are A LOT to choose from. 

1. Wen Ke Xing - Word of Honor

Signature moves? Waving around a big deadly fuck-off fan, calling his husband soulmate and perfect, recognizing the innate beauty in swords and shoulder blades, adopting adult children, killing everyone and everything else.

You know I don’t ordinarily mention Chinese stuff, but in a post about flirting. I would be so remiss if I didn’t include this absolute king of all the censored flirts to ever pick up a deadly man in a pastel robe. 

2. Win - Until We Meet Again

His signature moves? The casual arm throw, stripping down to show his tattoos, cuddling, stealing a potato chip in the most iconic way humanly possible. 

3. Shin - Minato’s Laundromat

Signature moves? Cooking and feeding, looming, constant requests to be allowed further intimacy and care duties, open displays of attention and interest. 

4. YooHan - Color Rush

Signature moves? Causing his man to faint, learning about and talking about color, using said knowledge to seduce, lots of dates, breaking him out of conversion therapy mental hospital, running away with him. 

5. Nosue-san - Old Fashion Cupcake 

Signature moves? Pretending(?) he doesn’t know what a flirt he is, collecting women, using girly voice and cuteness, wistful need for pancakes, three piece suits. 

6. JaeYoung - Semantic Error 

Signature moves? Teasing, the ultimate gentle bully, appearing in all classes, being hyper good at art, all the pretty angles, running off the competition, seme subscription service. 

7. King - My Engineer 

Signature moves? Texting, seduction through nerdiness, calling himself cute, learning how to communicate with an extreme introvert, love = plants, drunk kisses. 

8. Jack - HIStory 3 Trapped

Signature moves? Cooking and feeding his man, deep conversation, matching horny for horny, giving up his whole life to go legit for his cop bf, knife play. 

9. Forth - 2 Moons 2 

Signature moves? One night stands, hazing freshmen into courting doctors, pouring a water bottle over his bare chest, glaring, really good kisses. 

10. SeoJoon - Too My Star

Signature moves? Human puppy, innate fragility, personal hygiene demands, enthusiasm, fluffy sweaters. 

OTHERS FROM KOREA 

DaWoon - Blueming Signature moves? Take his picture, bring him coffee, get his movie made, pet his hair, get him into bed ASAP. 

KiJin - Behind Cut

RoA - Love Class

Wild Dog - Long Time No See

SangHa - Mr Heart

Jung Woo - My Sweet Dear

Korea loves an aggressive flirt. 

OTHERS FROM THAILAND 

Yok - Not Me Signature moves? Taunting and verbal repartee, drawing his man nekid, artistic bad boy eccentricity.

Tan - Manner of Death Signature moves? Cuffs, lesbian u-haul action, adopting children (plants, youths, local malcontents), shooting bad guys.

Ming - 2 Moons franchise Signature moves? Brutal honesty, direct communication, openness about feelings, winning the hotness contests.  

Mark - Gen Y Signature moves? Showing off, grad romantic gestures, lots of gifts. 

Pat - Bad Buddy Signature moves? Sniffing shirts, taking off his shirt, teasing and taunting, more shirt stuff. 

Jimmy’s character in Vice Versa Signature moves? Hot/cold, questioning lines, direct requests for affection that cannot be trusted.

Sky & Intouch - Secret Crush On You 

Pukong - 2gether 

Neo - 3 Will Be Free (trained flirt) 

Kaow - Brothers 

Nuea - Cutie Pie 

Vee - Love Mechanics 

Pitch - Golden Blood  

Vegas - KinnPorsche 

Pure - My Gear and Your Gown 

Fame - Make it Right 

Bbomb - Nitiman (very gentle version) 

Solo & Kao - Oxygen 

Kong - SOTUS (maybe) 

Na - Tonhon Chonaltee 

Mayom - What Zabb Man

San - You’re My Sky 

Prin - With Love (you thought I forgot about this one, didn’t you? yeah I’m the only person who watched it) 

whatever the fuck is going on with My Secret Love, Our Days, Paint With Love, Loveless Society, That’s My Candy, Y-Destiny, Close Friend, War of Y. 

OTHERS 

Naoya - Mr Unlucky Signature moves? Consistent pursuit, kiss first ask questions after, devout sincerity, stripping down for “exercise.” 

BoXiang - H3MODC the BL that shall not be named 

LiCheng - History 4 

Yuki - Plus and Minus 

Mark - Love is Science? 

Art - Rainbow Prince 

Nat Nam - You Are Ma Boy 

Younger seme + old uke inevitably yields up extreme flirting because of the power imbalance. 

Reluctant/tsundere seme + needy uke, however, usually also results in flirting but this kind: 

Desperate & Crazy Flirts

Prime examples? LuLin in My Esports Genius Brother  or Nampu in Top Secret Together or Yi in Coffee Melody. Intouch in UWMA, Fiat - TharnType 2, Don’t Say No.

A lot of these are aggressive autonomous ukes forced to undertake seme role by the narrative. 

Bully Flirts 

These are usually tsundere semes or all powerful semes (CEO, spoiled rich kids, bosses, mafia, etc) face with extreme tsundere ukes. 

Prime examples? 

Gu Hai - Addicted Signature moves? Ultimate pigtail pulling, all the pranks. Moving himself in, climbing into bed with his man, kidnapping. 

Sib - Lovely Writer Signature moves? Cohabitation, acting like a couple in public, calling baby CUTE constantly, switching linguistic registers, slightly sinister.

Kiyoi - Utsukushii Kare Signature moves? Calling his bf disgusting or gross, ordering him around, demanding attention, demanding honest love, watch me lose my mind over this glorious BL here

There are quite a few other bullies particularly out of China and Taiwan, they should probubly get their own post, but they mostly fall into whipping boy. Also I might throw in: Fighter in Why R U?, Tharn and Type in TharnType, Rio from Pornographer series, Gui from Takumi-kun, HooTing from H3:MODC, Kamol in Unforgotten Night, Kinn in KinnPorsche, Athip in What Zabb Man.

CODICIL 

This is a long post. I probubly won’t keep it updated because there are so many already. If you have one you want added, mention in a comment. 

Otherwise, this is fixed as of Aug 2022. Not responsible for flirts who come after. 

Devil Judge not included.

(source) 

#top flirts #master flirts #best flirts in bl #best of bl list #best of list #recommended bl #thai bl #korean bl #bully flirts #needs a seperate post #Utsukushii Kare #Lovely Writer #addicted web series #chinese bl #aggressive flirting #Mr Unlucky #japanese bl #adapted from a manga #live action yaoi #Gen Y mark #2 moons ming #2 moons 2 ming #Manner of Death #Not Me the series #Blueming #Too My Star #2 Moons 2 #2 Moons 2 forth #HIStory 3 Trapped #HIStory 3: Trapped

[nc-vb]

𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐚, 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐡𝐰𝐚, & 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐡𝐮𝐚 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐬

a long time coming that I've meant to compile a list, but it just kept growing and growing and growing...

the webtoon list includes my very personal & important in-my-heart recommendations. aaaaand the rest are mostly smutty, kinky, and even a little dark.......... do not perceive, just enjoy. and support the official author's work and translations if you can!!

if there are any in this list you'd like a heads up about before reading, feel free to drop me an ask and I'll give you my honest opinion/review.

if you're having trouble locating anything, shoot me an ask (because i have most, if not all, of the links saved).

and feel free to gush to me if you liked any of them!! i'm always happy to talk about mmm's.

[updated july 3rd, 2023] - newly added titles are in green.

𝐵𝐿 = boy's love genre 𝐆𝐋 = girl's love genre 𝟏+ = includes harems & poly relationships ❤ = absolute masterpieces, highly recommended! ! = proceed with extreme caution/heed all warnings

please heed all warnings and tags found within each of these recommendations, as well as my own warnings from the symbol legend above and found throughout this post.

some of these are sfw and some aren't. some of these aren't for the faint of heart and will be marked to be read at your own risk. additionally, not all are translated into English. 𝐵𝐿/𝐆𝐋 are separate from the general list.

𝐖𝐄𝐁𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐍

A Messy Fairy Tale 𝟏+

A Summer Night's Dream

Age Matters ❤

Back to You

Bailin and Li Yun BL❤

Bitten Contract

Boyfriend of the Dead

Castle Swimmer BL

City of Blank

Dating With a Tail

Daytime Star

Devil Number 4 ❤

Devilish Romance

Down to Earth

Dreaming Freedom

Ghost Wife

Ghostly Buddie

Half-Ghost

Harem of LuuAnh

Hello Baby ❤

I'm the Grim Reaper

I Love Yoo ❤

It's Mine

Jeff's Disorders

Kind of Confidential

Little Rain

Lore Olympus ❤

Love Advice from the Great Duke of Hell ❤

Mage & Demon Queen GL

Marry Me!

Maybe Meant to Be

Meow Man

Midnight Poppy Land

Midnight Rain

Mom, I'm Sorry

Morgana and Oz

Muse on Fame

My Beloved Emperor

My Dear Cold-Blooded King

My Four Husbands 𝟏+

My In-Laws are Obsessed with Me ❤

My Lovely Bodyguard

Nice to Meet You

Not Even Bones

Operation: True Love ❤

Pastel-colored Pages

Phase

Scorching Romance

See You in My 19th Life ❤

Selina ~ Moon Bride ~

Siren's Lament ❤

Soleil

Space Boy

Strange and Wild

SubZero

Swimming Lessons for a Mermaid ❤

Take Off BL

The Devil is a Handsome Man

The First Night With the Duke ❤

The Guy Upstairs

The Newlywed Diary of a Witch and a Dragon ❤

The RUNWAY

There Must Be Happy Endings

To the Stars and Back BL

Trapped ❤

Unlovable Replacement

When Jasy Whistles ❤❤

Winter Woods

Your Smile is a Trap ❤

𝐒𝐅𝐖

Abe-kun's Got Me Now! (Abe-kun ni Nerawaretemasu)

A Master, Who Woke Up As a Concubine ❤

And Yet, You Are So Sweet (Na no ni, Chigira-kun amasugiru)

Beloved in-Laws (poor transl.)

Bon Appétit ❤

Don't Blush, Sekime

Forget My Husband, I'll Go Make Money (Aug 2023)

Golden Forest !

I, My, Me, Mine ❤ (アイマイミーマイン)

I Became the Male Lead's Adopted Daughter

I Can't Keep Up With My Stallion Duke ❤❤

I Will Change the Genre

I Will Rewrite the Dead End Novel

In the Clear Moonlit Dusk ❤ (Uruwashi no Yoi no Tsuki)

It's My Destiny to Be the Hero's Saviour !

Kubo Won't Let Me Be Invisible

Love's in Sight!

Loving Yamada at Lv 999 ❤❤❤

Male Lead, I'll Respect Your Taste !

Ookami no Musume ❤❤

Pink and Habanero ❤ (Pink to Habanero)

Protected by My Dragon Knight (Seijo wa Ryuukishi-sama ni Mamorarete)

Scary Faced High Schooler and Miss Plain Jane

Second Life of a Trash Princess

Sinking too deep in your rabbit hole, now I'm drowning in your love

Stella Next to Me ❤ (Tonari no Stella)

The Cunning Princess and the Shark ❤

The Fragrant Flower Blooms With Dignity ❤ (Kaoru Hana wa Rin to Saku)

The Muscle Girl Next Door

The Obsessive Second Male Lead Has Gone Wild

The Reasons We Fall in Love ❤ (Watashi-tachi ga koisuru riyuu)

The Tyrant's Comfort Doll !

To the Dear F-Phantom of the Opera (Shinai naru F e: Opera-za no Kaijin)

Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun ❤ (Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun)

Vampire Lord's Greatest Wife ❤

Welcome to the Yandere Cafe (rating subject to change)

Yojouhan no Ibara Hime

𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐅𝐖

あざと可愛い✕くんの執着サド交尾は本物です x!!!

無能力巫女は狛犬の淫紋快楽漬け x❤!

2LDK IKEMEN Tsuki Bukken Arimasu !!

A Dream Between the Sheets ❤❤

A Gentle Sea Monster and a Lonely Girl !

A Predator in a Skirt !

A Sip of Poison !

Boy's Abyss (subject to change, new read) !!

Childhood Friend's Secret Massage !

Consort to the Fox Spirit Lord

Dark Fall !

Depths of Malice !

Devoured by a Bookworm Girl !

Fire in His Fingertips ❤

Former Delinquent Farmer's Sex Appeal is Dangerous!

From Him to Who? ~Sex With My Body-Snatched Husband ❤

Gokudou to Omega - Mukidashi no Katsuai

Hana's Demons of Lust !

Hare-kon 𝟏+

Heat 200 Meters Away (200 M Saki no Netsu)

Honey, I'm Going On a Strike!

How to Make a Frigid Girl Cum

I'm in Love With Mr. Hanabusa

Lady K and the Sick Man ❤❤

Last Order wa Ojou-san de Dekiai Jouren Kyaku ni Kyuuai saretemasu

Junai - Pure Wet Love

Kuma to Tora ~Taikakusa Osananajimi no Hajimete kara, Kemono ni Naru 2-kakan made~ x

Madoka Exorcist ❤!

Mede Little Roy !

Mr. Tada is a Top Performer

Muttsuri Akazukin-kun kara wa nige rarenai

My Cold Co-worker Obsessively Loves Me

Pet Baby Doll

Pygmalion's Savior is a Big But Immature Love Monster !❤

Red Hot Proposal: Surrounded by His Tanned Body

Sadistic Beauty !!!!

Sakaki the Lazybones Shows His Talents at Night ❤❤

Sapphire Dew ~ Infatuated Gentlemanly Boyfriend Seizes the Initiative !

Seishun no Hekireki

Seriously can't pass this up. - Kohai's passionate sex won't stop until morning

Sinful Nun Pays Penitence to the Serpent ❤❤

Spring Amidst My Wintertide ❤

Superstitious Nine ❤

Sweet Lies Layered Like a Mille Feuille ❤

Tadano Renai Nanka de Kikkonai ❤❤

The Golden Forest !

The Goldfish’s Corpse Lies at the Bottom of the Swamp !!!!!!!!

The Greengrocer is a Carnivore in Bed!?

The Man Who Saved Me in My Isekai Trip Was a Killer!!!!!!!

The Neighbor in Room 203 Disappeared Leaving a Key Behind !!!!!!!

The Reincarnated Saint Falls for the Demon Lord

The Tainted Half !

The Virgin Witch

The Weird Senior in the Seat Next to Me ❤❤❤! (Tonari Senpai)

Toshishita Osananajimi ga Watashi o Shibatte Hanasa nai! x

Totem's Realm

Touching is Better Than Looking

Under the Oak Tree

Until the Obedient Bodyguard Exposes the Body and the Lie of the Fake Lady ❤

"Wanna Cum?" The Pure Taiga Advances Slow and Sweet ❤❤

Welcome to the Muscle Salon ❤❤❤

When Beauty Meets Beasts

When You Are Reincarnated As The villain NPC's Girl And Be Loved By The Strongest Prince Who Is Not A Capture Target !!

Wild Eyes

Will You Pledge Your Love to an Incubus?

Wish Upon a Husband

Yaba Ai Instructor !

You're Too Cute for Me to Be Gentle

𝐁𝐋 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐒

4 Week Lovers BL

A Handless Day BL!

A Hot Wet Job for Three -Adult Toy Tester- BL, 𝟏+

A Kiss for You, My Shinobi BL

A Tree Without Roots BL❤!

Angel Buddy BL❤❤

Bidou Wakadanna Koi Shitau Wa Koushoku Otoko BL❤

Bitten by Moonlight BL

Black Mirror BL!!!

Blind Play BL!!

Can't Think Straight BL

Cherry Blossoms After Winter BL

Confession Night BL

Dangerous Convenience Store BL

Dawn of the Dragon BL

Dear Door BL

DEATH or LOVE BL

Delinquent Omega Belongs to the Beast King BL

Demon of Lustful Hell BL

Desharow Merman BL❤

Die If You Aren't a Virgin BL

Eat Me Up, My Husband BL!

Ennead

Eunsoo's Good Day BL

Eye Contact BL

Fake Fact Lips BL

Frenemies: Thicker Than Blood BL❤

Friends, Engaged

Fucking in the Dorms BL!

Ghost Gate BL!!!!!

Healing Paradox BL❤

He's a Better Top Than Me?! BL

Home Far Away BL❤!!!

Horeta Otoko wa Shin'yuu de BL!

Housekeeper's Love Affair BL

How to convince your best friend to sleep with you BL

Hyperventilation BL❤❤❤

I Didn't Ask You to Eat Me!

I Love You, Nothing Else Matters BL❤

In an Empty Classroom BL

Indigo BL

I Ship My Rival x Me BL

It's Just a Dream... Right? BL❤❤❤

Jinx BL!

Kabukicho Bad Trip BL

Kiss de Egaku Ittousei BL❤

Kiss Me, Liar BL!

Lala no Kekkon BL!

Liveta BL

Love in Kitsch BL

Love is an Illusion BL!

Love Jinx BL❤

Low Tide in Twilight BL!!

Mad Dog BL❤❤

Miscreants and Mayhem BL

Missing Love BL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (<I cannot express this enough.)

My Delicious Dream Boy BL❤

My Demon Crybaby, Maria BL

My Partner Suddenly Got Younger - An Omega Caretaker Plays Alpha BL!

Natsu no Teppen ni Saku BL

Old-Fashioned Cupcake BL❤❤ (has a j-drama)

Pain, Sweet Pain BL

Passion BL

Payback BL❤❤❤

Pearl Boy BL❤!!!!!!

Pink Heart Jam BL❤❤

Please, Candy! BL!

Roses and Champagne BL!

Sadistic Beauty: Side Story BL!!!!!!

Secret Inside My Head BL❤❤❤

Semantic Error BL (has a j-drama)

Sensei wa Nekketsu ga Areba Juubunda! BL!

Sick BL

Sign BL❤❤❤

Sketch BL❤

Speak of the Devil BL

Steel Under Silk BL❤

Surge Looking for You BL❤

Sweet Trap BL

Tabetemo Oishiku Arimasen BL

Tentacle Recipe BL(?)❤

The Blessed Life of a Retired Nian Monster BL

The Crybaby's at the Mean Devil's Mercy BL❤

The Foxy Mouse's Romance BL

The Origin of Species BL!

The Pizza Delivery Man and the Gold Palace BL

The Pure-Hearted Puppy and the Erotic Tattoo BL❤

The Silent Concubine BL!

The Unquenchable Mr. Kim BL❤

The Words in Your Snare BL❤❤❤

To Take An Enemy's Heart BL!

Tomodachi Engagement BL

Trick Turned Into a Threesome With the Tachibana Brother BL

Under the Greenlight BL

Unexpectedly Naughty Fukami BL❤

Unromantic Romance BL❤

Young Lover BL!!

Your Wish is My Command BL❤

Yours to Claim BL

Zenryaku, Onii-chan wa Seijo ni Narimashita BL!

more recommendations will likely be added as time goes on! feel free to copy these recs for your own checklist of 'to reads'.

hope you enjoy them like i did! :)

#manga recommendation #manhwa recommendation #manhua recommendation #bl manga #bl manhwa #bl manhua #manga recs #manhwa recs #manhua recs #PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS FOR THE EXCLAMATION TAGGED RECS OKAY??? I'M NOT JOKING ABOUT THEM. #i've read some pretty awful things over the past few years... like really awful. #... a lot of them did not make this list. #'Missing Love' has that many !!! and is bolded in red for a REASON-- i've never cried so hard for a MC than i did for Lee Geom. #seriously... it's so awful. and i hate that i found it because i need to know that he eventually has something good happen for him. #i don't really want to discuss it but for anyone's curiosities... i mean... feel free to ask me in dms so i can warn you... #✦ nc vb.

[hotjaneaustenmenpoll]

Welcome to the HOT JANE AUSTEN MEN bracket! We have just finished voting on all the HOTTEST Jane Austen Gentlemen and Rakes from all the many TV and Film Jane Austen Adaptations.

After nearly two months of voting we have our Winner! Thank you everyone for taking part and all your propaganda I will be taking a little break for a while but look out for more polls in the future...

All polls—including ongoing polls, previous rounds,mini ask polls—can be found in the #hotjaneaustenmenpoll tag. Every poll in the Hot Jane Austen Men Tournament is tagged with the hot regency man and the year his adaptation was made if you need to search for a hot man in particular.

FAQs:

“Where is [my favorite Jane Austen man]?” Have you checked all the polls in the tag? Have you done a tag search for him? Only some of the actors are tagged but if you search for his adaptation and the year he was in it you should find him! If you still haven’t found him, he probably isn't in this poll.

“WHERE ARE THE HOT JANE AUSTEN MEN. I want to see all the hot men competing in one place! -

The Final

Third Place Poll

Semi-Finals Master List!

Quarter-Finals Master List!

Round Three Master List!

Round Two Master List!

Round One Master List!

“Who is included on this list?” We started with 64 opponents readied their duelling pistols to defend their own hotness but only 8 remain! I included men from Pride and Prejudice 1940/1995/2005, Sense and Sensibility 1971/1995/2008, Emma 1996/1996/2009/2020, Northanger Abbey 2007, Persuasion 1995/2007/2022 and Mansfield Park 1983/ 1999/2007 as well as a couple from Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, one from Sanditon and one from Love and Friendship/Lady Susan. Most are the main hero/anti-heroes but there are a few others scattered in too.

Have you included Spin Offs ?”  The only strictly none Jane Austen adaptation I've included men from is Pride and Prejudice and Zombies because it is set in the correct time period, the characters are basically the same in terms of personality and I thought the casting was great! In terms of Sandition, Sidney Parker is the only man I have entered as he is mentioned in the book as well as the TV so sadly as much as I love the other Sanditon Men they aren't included!

"Can I submit hot Jane Austen men?”  Submissions are now closed! But my ask is still open for propaganda...

“I have additional propaganda for the hot men!” Great! Send me an ask, tag me in gifsets, fancams etc or reblog the poll and add your propaganda to it. Also feel free to send in any book propaganda!! I'll try to boost as much propaganda as possible

WHy is the propaganda so uneven on this poll? To stay impartial I only add propaganda to the main poll that has been sent in before each round's polls open. If you submit any after then I will reblog or post and add to the winner's propaganda in the next poll. If it's uneven it's because you never sent any in, not because I'm being biased.

"How have you paired up the men ?" I did start to try and vaguely seed the men but I will be honest I did get a bit slap dash towards the end which means a couple of the match-ups are maybe a bit too even but fun I hope!

If you’re submitting propaganda for your hot man, I don’t accept propaganda that is of the actor outside of their Specific Jane Austen Adaptation but I do accept propaganda from them in their respective books. I would love to be tagged in gifsets and fancams, and I'd like to boost propaganda that tells us why your Jane Austen man is your favourite :)

I won’t post or boost negative propaganda. If you really hate that a certain hot man is winning, send me positive propaganda for their hot opponent. I may make exceptions if your propaganda is of another Austen character bad mouthing him though...

If I see repetitive, trolling, and/or bigoted remarks in the comments, I may block you from this bracket. If you want to point out a hot man’s flaws or misdemeanors, that’s fine, but if I see consistent bad-faith trolling, you will be blocked.

On that note—if you have an issue with a poll, offer a solution! I'll do my best to keep the poll happy and fun, and I'll block people being dicks. If you don’t like a poll photo or a description, offer one I can use instead.

“My FAQ isn’t on here :(” send me an ask! I'd love to hear from you guys—just please check these basics first.

Thank you for being here! Enjoy the tournament.

And Thank You @hotvintagepoll for the inspiration!

#hotjaneaustenmenpoll #jane austen #pride and prejudice #sense and sensibility #persuasion #emma #northanger abbey #mansfield park

[iamthinkingaboutvariousthings]

Tag List for BL & GL Recommendations, Meta & Specific Shows (and other related thoughts)

master list of Recommendation Lists tags

master list of The Devil Judge tags

master list of The Eclipse tags

master list of To My Star (1 & 2) tags

master list of Specific Series tags

master list of tags on Other Things - not BL

BL & GL Meta & General Information

bl meta bl industry bl fundamentals AbsoluteBL's BL masterpost (8/2022 version on my blog) bl resources how to watch bl http://world-of-bl.com/index.php language in bl modes of address in bl bl gifs

queerness in bl women in bl gender in bl censored bromance queerbaiting het romance tropes

chemistry in bl seme/uke dynamics kisses in bl sex scenes in bl sexuality in bl kink in bl

bl actors bl actor pairings bl directors bl cinematography bl creation bl soundtracks

bl gifs bl screenshots bl fanvids

bl fandom bl fanservice bl actor shipping upcoming bl upcoming gl oct 2022 nov 2022 dec 2022 2023 dramas date unknown

gl dramas thai gl korean gl japanese gl

BL by Country

thai bl korean bl japanese bl taiwanese bl vietnamese bl filipino bl mainland china bl

thai bl industry korean bl industry japanese bl industry

Meta by Tumblr-ers

absolutebl meta heretherebedork meta lutawolf meta iguessitsjustme meta bengiyo meta moonchildridden meta lelephantsnail meta shortpplfedup meta respectthepetty meta squeakygeeky meta my thoughts

to tag

#bl meta #bl recommendations #bl recommendation #tag list #bl tag list #master post

[punkeropercyjackson]

Afrolatino Jason needs to be written not as a black Jason but Jason as a black character.Jason within canon already has all the qualities for a good black character except acttually being of african heritage and this is where the problems with fanon potrayals come in because they change him too much and at the same time,don't actually employ blackness into him as anything but an aesthetic or quirk

As an afrolatino and afrolatina(genderfluid and bigender)who started reading comics due to starting to selfship with Jason because i watched Utrh,it hurts but also makes me so fucking angry that these people have the audacity to act like they're doing it out of love for Jason when they don't even love him enough to respect his personality,coping mechanisms and relathionships because they only care about how hot he is and that's all that was needed to ruin his entire character in fan content for years and years and years,all because they can't handle unconventional characters despite their self-proclaimed freakiness.Adding 'Snowbunny' to your list of fetishes you have for Jason isn't representation and you've all treated him worse than DC ever has and yeah,i'm including Ditf

Stop taking Duke from Jason and Jason from Duke-Stop taking EVERYTHING from Duke to give it your ugly ass white boys Jason would hate anyway.Stop hypermasculinizing and oversexualizing him.Stop making him stupid and uncultured.Stop making him a fucking misogynist and animalistic.Stop forcing him to be best friends with Roy and Tim when he's never liked them that much and he never will and it makes sense with his character.Stop just slapping melanin onto him and calling it black character design.Stop being fake or just don't headcanon him as black-latino at all because it's not your call to begin with and my nonblack and white afrolatino Jason hc'ing friends started seeing him that way because i told them why i did and they thought it made sense and wanted to be supportive too and a racist ass of an ex-friend immediately jumped to 'Um but he's got anger issues and violent tendencies so ion know :/' without even hearing me out first when I'M the one who's actually a nigga and she did/said tons of microaggressions i didn't pick up on and started whining about me being 'mean' and 'innapropriate' for getting her ass post-realization and making a slave master joke at her expense for speaking over me on purpose

This is exactly what i mean cause that's how Y'ALL react to being called out on YOUR microaggressions towards Jason,both the afrolatino interpretation and canon compliant Jason with your ableist stereotyping and harmful anti-recovery headcanons(see the hypermasculinizing and oversexualizition i mentioned for both of those),and Duke and Cass too although she is nonblack she's worth mentioning since i brought Snowbunnies which are rooted in racialized misogyny and y'all need to stop feminizing and infantalizing her.She's a canon tomboy and she grown too and more 'unhinged' as y'all put it than Jason is textually and him and Duke are either equally chaotic or Duke is even more chaos.Back to reactions,nobody says jackshit about the 'Jason fucked Talia' jokes when that scene was csa,incest and anti-arab propaganda all in one or 'Jason grew up to date his brothers exes' that's deadass just child grooming that ALSO relies on thee most misogynoiristic incarnation of Kory ever and the constant gender essentialism and ableist termology thrown at Jason that he CANONICALLY defies and even expresses to be against.But when black Batfam fandom members get mean about the Duke exclusion and Cass' too out of poc solidarity,suddenly we need to chill and stop making things that deep and learn to curate to curate our experience

No.YOU need to curate your experience.Find the story you want instead of gentrifying the Batfam and grooming minors into it.Duke is a Batboy,a Robin and a Batkid so he's part of Batfam lore.Duke is Jason's favorite brother so he's a part of Jason's story and black solidarity is essential to writing a black character.Which is what afrolatino Jason is SUPPOSED to be and if additional Bats are needed,then it should be black ones like Duke.Afrolatino Jason HAS to be a black character.He needs Duke.He needs black Outlaws.He needs to love woc in general but especially black women.He needs to defy male expectations,not live up to them.He needs connections to his black roots,including his apperance

Jason Todd needs to be a black character,not just a mischaracterized mess that dosen't appreciate him and what makes irl black people see him the same as us.Afrolatino Jason was made by us,FOR us and you have no place headcanoning him that way if you aren't going to do it like we do.Afrolatino Jason is not your fetish and canon Jason dosen't wanna be seen as one to begin with.PUT SOME RESPECT TO HIS NAME!!!!!!!!

#jason todd #pro jason todd #afrolatino jason supremacy #trans jason todd #autistic jason todd #goth punk jason todd #dadhood #duke thomas #duke and jason #duke is a robin #duke is a batboy #outlaw!duke #cassandra cain #cass is a batkid #pro cassandra cain #talia al-ghul #pro talia al-ghul #roy harper #koriand'r #antijoyfire #jaytemis #jayrose #jaydana #batfam #the anomalies #blackness #x black!reader #antiblackness #jaysumm #summerposting

[avastrasposts]

The Pilot and his Girl - ch. 24

I'm wrapping up one story arch with this chapter, time to move on and move even deeper in to the TLoU world together with Frankie and the rest of the boys.

Word count: 6.6k

Warnings have their own post, please heed them if needed.

Series Master List

For a few minutes you all watch the flames take hold, but then Benny turns, his eyes are red from tears and smoke, but the grief has been pushed down. Instead his eyes are hard, his jaw set. He steps back towards the three of you, huddled together, holding each other up and you feel a shiver go down your back. You’ve never seen Benny like this, the rage simmering, barely contained just under the surface, is frightening, but Frankie and Pope seem to know what’s coming.

“I need to kill Myers, will you help me?”

It’s a question that doesn’t even need an answer, ‘Will you help me?’  When Benny walks towards the crowd outside the incinerator area you’re all behind him. The crowd is uneasy, the soldiers too, their guns still aimed slightly above the heads of the people. There seems to be even more people now than when you arrived, shifting around the edges of the street, some teens hanging on to lamp posts to see over the heads of the crowd. Frankie grips your wrist, not your hand, your wrist, as if he’s preparing to pull you to safety at a moment's notice. 

“Is it true they raped her?” someone calls from the crowd and Benny looks towards the voice. 

“Yes!” he calls back, his voice clipped and hard. “They took her for trying to protect a boy, they beat her, broke her bones, and raped her before throwing her dead in the back of a truck. Myers and his men.” The last word he spits out and the crowd hisses, their anger aimed at the soldiers in FEDRA uniforms. They are quickly becoming symbols of all the injustices FEDRA have dealt out to the people of this QZ. 

“Punish them!” someone roars from the back of the crowd and the shout is echoed across the street as more voices start shouting for revenge. The soldiers nervously adjust their grip on their rifles, glancing at their commanding officer in the middle. He aims his gun at the first line of people. 

“Go home!” he calls, “go home, FEDRA will make sure the woman’s death is investigated.” 

The crowd jeers at that, some booing loudly. 

“There’s no justice from FEDRA!” a woman calls from the crowd and many voices go up in agreement, the crowd is getting angry, more people are shouting, there’s a movement in the mass of people, surging back and forth. One of the soldiers lays down his gun, crouching to place it on the street and stepping to the side, joining the crowd as he tugs off his uniform jacket. He’s met with cheers and slaps on the back as he disappears into the crowd, his C.O. roaring at him to fall back in line. Frankie is tugging on your wrist, pulling you to the side of the street, still in front of the crowd but away from the soldiers. Pope taps Benny on the arm and motions him to follow. He glances over at Frankie and you and turns back to the crowd. 

“We will make sure there’s justice,” he calls, but even his booming military voice has trouble being heard over the din of the crowd. “Cox is the one responsible! Not these soldiers!” 

But the crowd either doesn’t hear him, or don’t want to. Surging forward, maybe pushed by those behind, the first lines rush towards the commanding officer and the men still standing next to him. Pope grabs Benny’s arm and pulls him to the side, just as the rifles fire. You feel Frankie’s hand around your wrist like a vice, pulling you along the edge of the crowd, pressed up against the side of the buildings until you reach an alley. Behind you, you can hear the screams and angry shouts of the crowd as the gunfire echoes across the street. Frankie pulls you further in, away from the crowd and you hear heavy footfalls behind you, Pope and Benny are right on your heels. 

“We need to get back to the apartment,” Pope calls, “We need to get our gear together, things are blowing up.” 

“Follow me,” Benny says, catching up to Frankie and you, “there’s a shortcut through the old city hall up ahead.” 

Benny leads you through the city, it’s eerily empty, the only people you see are moving towards the area you just left. You spot a few FEDRA soldiers running towards their HQ, walkie-talkies crackling with information about what’s happening, as you duck out of their way, instinctively avoiding to be seen. 

It doesn’t take your small group to get back to the apartments, “Meet me in my place in twenty minutes,” Pope orders, “grab supplies as if you were leaving the QZ, just in case, we might not be able to return here afterwards.” Frankie and Benny nod, Benny taking the stairs, three at a time, up to his place, while Frankie unlocks your apartment door. 

“Grab the backpacks,” he says, hurrying into the kitchen to open up the cupboard that holds all the rations he brings when he goes outside the wall, as well as your emergency rations, dried meat and fruit, freeze dried camping meals, anything lightweight and easy to carry. The backpacks are already partially packed, a habit Frankie had put you in, not trusting this new world enough to not expect that a quick get away might be needed. And he was right, because now you hastily stuffed an extra layer of clothes, ammo and food in before pulling both yours and Frankie’s handguns from their hiding place. With a twinge, you grabbed the two photo frames Hannah had given you, slipping the photos out, one of you and Frankie, and one of Frankie, Lucía and you. 

Less than twenty minutes later you both walk into Pope’s apartment, Benny is already there. 

“Ok, good,” Pope says as he sees you close the front door, “we need to make a plan, and quick.” 

“The plan is to get to Myers, and fucking kill him,” Benny growls. He’s changed out of his FEDRA uniform and is in civilian clothes like the rest of you. As he speaks he puts his gun at the small of his back, sticking into his pants. A rifle hangs over his shoulder, Pope has one and he hands another one to Frankie. You watch as they all seem to fall into well rehearsed movements, each man checking their guns and the ammo, making sure everything is in place. 

“As satisfying as killing Myers sounds, Ben, we need a plan,” Pope replies, “If that crowd moves towards HQ, which I think they’re probably already doing, we can’t just walk in there, it’ll be on high alert.”

“Yeah ok, but the crowd is going to cause a distraction for them, we should use that to our advantage.” Benny says, he’s put his backpack and rifle by the door and now he’s pacing while the rest of you stand in the living room. “The main gate isn’t the only way in, there’s a way through the sewers, it was cleared just a few weeks ago. We go in there, find Myers, and Cox too, preferably, and end this whole thing in one go.” 

“That sounds like an idea, we come from behind and take them out one by one and they won’t see it coming,” Pope nods and Frankie rubs his hand over his beard. 

“How do we get out of HQ? If we’re spotted we’ll have every FEDRA soldier in the compound on our tails.” 

“There won’t be many, as long as the crowd is at the main gate, they’ll be distracted. And for the rest, we just make sure we’re not spotted,” Benny shrugs as if it’s the easiest thing in the world to sneak in the backway and take out two high ranking FEDRA officers. 

“Let’s start by going down there and seeing what the situation’s like,” Pope says, picking up his backpack and shouldering it and you bend to do the same. Frankie puts his hand on your shoulder to stop you. 

“You stay here, cariño, we’ll come back here when it’s done.” 

You open you mouth to snap back at him, he’s fucking crazy if he thinks you’re staying here alone when they go off on their mission, but Pope beats you to it. 

“That’s not a good idea, Frankie. FEDRA knows she’s with you, this is the first place they’ll come looking for any of us.”

“Can you go and stay with someone until we’re back?” Frankie’s looking at you again and you shake your head. 

“Frankie, I’m not staying behind, I’m coming with you,” you say, locking eyes with him, “There is no fucking way I’m just gonna sit and wait for you three to maybe come back.” There’s a hard edge to your voice and Frankie looks anxious, you can see his eyebrows knitting together as he sees the determination in your face. “And if things go bad and you have to run, what are you gonna do, detour to come pick me up first?” Your eyebrows shoot up, challenging him and Frankie looks unhappy, reaching up to take your hand and say something but Benny cuts him off. 

“I’ve been training her for five years, she can handle herself.” 

“She’s not a soldier, Benny,” Frankie grimaces over his shoulder, he’s still looking at you, pleading silently with you. 

“No, she’s not, but I’ve taught her how to fight, and you’ve made sure she can handle a gun. Christ, Fish,” Benny rolls his eyes, “I’m not saying put her front and center, but at least she’ll be useful and she’ll be safer with you than alone if FEDRA comes looking for us.”

Frankie’s jaw moves, he’s gritting his teeth while you stare at him, he knows that face, that expression, he’s not going to be able to convince you to stay. And a part of him knows Benny is right, you’re safer with them than on your own right now, it makes sense for you to come, much as he hates the idea. 

“Ok,” he says finally, “but you have to stay behind me all the time and do exactly as I say, cariño,” his voice is firm but you can see the worry bubbling behind his eyes, his hand squeezing your fingers tight. You squeeze back, reassuring him. 

“Yes, Frankie, I promise, I’ll stay right behind you.” 

He nods, “Alright, let's go then before I change my mind.”

It doesn’t take long for the four of you to get to FEDRA HQ, the warehouse area. The streets are still empty and as you get closer you can hear a large crowd shouting and yelling, things are definitely kicking off in the QZ. As you clear the last alley leading up to the warehouses you walk into the crowd, Benny leading the way, Frankie behind him followed by you, and Pope, at Frankie’s request, at the rear, covering your back. As you get closer to the main gate the voices around you get more agitated, through the crowd you can see soldiers firing warning shots into the air and people around you are armed with baseball bats, paving stones and in some cases, real guns. 

“We need to get to the side of this,” Benny calls back towards the three of you, dodging around a group of young men, all brandishing baseball bats at the soldiers on the other side of the chain link fence. The gate has been closed but the fence isn’t that strong, and it’s only a fence, it can easily be climbed, the soldiers look nervous. 

You get to the other side, a little bit away from the main gate, and Benny shimmies up a lamp post to get an overview of what’s going on. Just as he drops down again you see a familiar face. 

“Hey, man!” Frankie exclaims, greeting the old man who’s pushed himself through the crowd towards your small group. It’s Herb, the veteran and counselor, who’d helped Frankie with his PTSD throughout the years. They still saw each other a couple of times a month, but nowadays it was more about just hanging out, Herb often came over to your apartment for dinner too. He’d been a soldier with FEDRA for a few years, but left about a year ago, disillusioned with the organization. 

“Benny, I heard about Hannah, I’m terribly sorry,” Herb claps him on the shoulder and Benny nods, his jaw tightening. 

“Thanks, Herb, ‘preciate it.”

“I’m guessing you boys aren’t here to just shout at FEDRA?” Herb says, glancing at the rifles hanging over each man's shoulder. 

“Do me a favor, Herb,” Benny says, looking over at the main gate, “can you make sure the crowd keeps the attention of the soldiers at the main gate?” 

Herb gives Benny a long look, his mouth twitching with a small smile, “Sure, I’ll make sure they’re busy.” He tilts his head towards the gate, “Many of the FEDRA soldiers have switched sides, joined the crowd, and Cox and his men have retreated to the main building, they looked scared, they’re losing support quickly.”

“Thanks, man, we owe you one,” Benny nods and looks over at the rest of you, “Let’s get moving, get this over with.” 

“Frankie,” Herb says, putting his hand on the younger man's shoulder, “I know you’ve got this, ok?” Reading between the lines you know Herb doesn’t mean the actual mission, but rather the potential of Frankie’s PTSD flaring up if things get messy. 

“Thanks, Herb, I’ll see you later, stay safe, man.” Frankie nods to Herb and takes your hand as you follow Ben, Pope clapping Herb on the back before falling in line behind you again. 

Ben leads the three of you out of the crowd, through an alley and a block north of the HQ. It’s a neighborhood that was damaged more by the initial bombings and the buildings and streets are broken up. Most of the materials for putting up the big QZ wall was taken from this area, leaving the area empty of inhabitants and hard to navigate. But Benny takes you through the broken structures and down into a bomb crater that has a shallow pool of water at the bottom. Sloshing through it he ducks under a tangle of low hanging broken pipes and into a well hidden opening. 

“Fuck, this place still reeks,” Pope coughs from behind you as the distinct smell of sewer hits your nose. You pull up the front of your sweater to cover your nose, breathing through your mouth as you all pull out and switch on your flash lights. 

“What did they clear this place from, Ben?” Frankie asks, his mouth and nose covered by his hoodie. 

“Rats, a few infected and a lot of rubble.” Benny replies, shining the light further into the tunnel, glancing back to check everyone is ready to go. 

“I really hope you’re sure they got all the infected,” Frankie says. You hope so too, you haven’t had to deal with an infected since your dramatic entrance to the QZ five years ago and you don’t like the idea of having to face one in this dark tunnel. 

“We go quietly, cover our bases,” Ben says, moving forward, “follow my lead.” 

“Since when did Benjamin Miller become our C.O?” you hear Pope chuckle behind you and you can’t help the nervous snort that escapes you, earning you and Pope a frown from Frankie. 

The tunnel isn’t completely pitch black at first, thankfully, there are holes in the roof from the bombs where daylight filters through. But as you go further in, under the buildings bordering the warehouse area and FEDRA HQ, daylight disappears and all you can see is the patch of whatever ground or wall your flashlights can illuminate. Smaller sewage tunnels break off from the main ones, most of them look blocked and too small for a human. The larger ones have been sealed shut by FEDRA, you don’t want to consider the possibility of what’s inside them, the tunnels are not quiet, you can hear scratching and groans, either from rats and the buildings settling, or from something else, it makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. Reaching out you take hold of Frankie’s hand, squeezing it tight and he pulls you closer. 

“I’ve got you, cariño, I won’t let anything happen to you,” he mumbles, low enough for Pope and Benny to not hear. You know he can’t promise you that, but it still makes you feel a bit better as you move further in through the darkness, your hand safely tucked in his. . 

It feels like you’ve walked through the darkness for an hour but in reality, it’s only been about ten minutes when Benny finally stops. The tunnel ahead is blocked off, sealed shut, and on the wall there’s a ladder leading up to a round manhole cover. Ben climbs to the top and pulls out his gun, the heavy lid moves easily as he pushes it upwards with one hand, carefully peering out over the edge. When he’s certain the area is clear he gently pushes the cover to the side and silently sets it down. Frankie follows after him, then you and Pope last. You’ve emerged in a basement area, dimly lit by fluorescent lights on the ceiling and what looks like old marketing material for a printing shop stored along the walls. Benny signals down the hallway, you can see a staircase at the end of it and you all walk quietly towards it. 

Making your way up through the building the three men fall into their practiced rhythm of clearing the rooms and hallways you pass through. Pope stays close to you, covering everyone’s back with quick sweeps behind him. Frankie and Pope stalk forward, guns raised as they peer through windows, sweep rooms and scan hallways. The building only has three floors above ground but it’s long. You clear the main entrance area and take the back stairs up to the second floor, avoiding the large curved staircase that loops around the open atrium of the entrance hall. 

The second floor is empty as well but the windows here give you a clear view of the main gate into the warehouse area, the crowd is still there, loud and angry. You can hear them through the windows and as you watch, waiting with Pope while Frankie and Benny clear a new set of rooms, you see the crowd surge forward, the chain link fence almost buckling under the pressure. It won’t be long before they break through. The soldiers are firing at the crowd, shouts are going up, but there are too many people, not enough soldiers. You see protesters fall but those behind push forward, the fence buckling and finally giving, falling flat to the ground as the protesters rush forward, towards the soldiers. 

You tap Pope’s shoulder and signal to the window. He watches for a few seconds and motions for you to move forwards. Frankie turns when he hears your footsteps and Pope points to the window. Benny turns as well and sees the crowd moving. 

“Myers and Cox will run if they see the crowd breaking through, they must be on the third floor, let's move up,” Benny whispers. The hallway you’re in is opening up onto the second floor of the atrium, curving along the building towards the stairs up to the third and final floor with a glass railing giving you a clear view of the main entrance hall below. Benny signals to Frankie to cover him while he opens the door to the back stairs, suddenly you hear running feet coming down the stairs at the other end of the atrium. Pope quickly grabs your arm and pulls you into the hallway again, Benny and Frankie duck in through the door to the back stairs, quickly scanning the stairwell. But a shout goes up from the other end, you’ve been spotted. 

“They’re in the building!” someone shouts, “Open fire, take them out!” 

“Cox,” Pope hisses behind you, shoving you further back and out of harm’s way as four men come down the stairs and start shooting. The curved staircase leading down to the first floor has a solid wall railing and with Frankie and Pope covering him, Benny darts across the hallway, ducking behind it. It gives him a better vantage point to take out Cox’s men and one of them soon drops with a shout. There’s not much cover for them at their end, only the wall of the staircase going up and the angle makes it difficult for them, giving your guys an advantage. Either bullets will run out or Cox and his men will have to retreat, they’re not getting past the four of you. You can sense Frankie’s eyes flitting to you, making sure you’re staying behind the cover of the wall in the hallway. You’re pressed against it, your gun drawn, but you stay put as Frankie had told you. 

Cox and his two remaining men start retreating, back up the stairs, and Benny and Pope advance forward, while Frankie remains behind, still in the doorway, covering them. He motions you forward to join him as Cox and the other men disappear up the stairs, Benny and Pope in pursuit. Just as you reach Frankie, you see Myers. He’s come down the back stairs behind Frankie with two other men, you shout a warning but he’s already rushing at Frankie, grabbing his gun arm and slamming him against the opposite wall. Frankie groans under the impact as Myers shoves him aside and lunges at you, you’ve raised your gun but not fast enough. Your shot goes wide, hitting the wall. You quickly dodge backwards, out into the hallway. From the corner of your eye you see Pope running back, the gunshot has alerted him and Benny to the new danger. Myers has longer legs and even though you back up fast, he’s on you with two quick strides as your back hits the railing, his hand outstretched to grab your gun. But his momentum pushes you backwards and you lose your footing, instinctively you grab his arm and your stomach lurches as you realize you’re falling backwards, pulling him with you. 

You think you hear a shout above you but you don’t have time to react, you smack down hard on the atrium floor, the wind rushing out of your lungs. At the last second you remember to protect your head and relax, Benny’s training kicking in. Myers lands hard next to you, you hear him groan and you try to make your limbs move, your breaths coming in small, shallow gasps as you struggle to regain your breath. You flop onto your belly and push yourself up, nothing seems broken but everything hurts and your legs are shaking. Your one saving grace is that Myers is just as winded as you, by the time he’s on his feet you’ve managed to move away from him. 

From above you hear shouts, through the glass railing you can see Pope fighting one of Myers’s men and by the sounds of it, Frankie is battling the second one just out of sight, shouting your name, there’s an edge of desperation to his voice and you can hear grunts from the other man as his fits make contact.  

“Fucking kitchen whore,” Myers growls at you, “should’ve taken you in with that other cunt, let you both have it.” He’s stalking towards you, cracking his neck as if to check that it’s not broken. You glance around you, your gun has fallen behind Myers, out of reach, and he smirks when he sees you look for it. He lunges for you then, and you dodge but you’re still trying to catch your breath, your legs unsteady and he gets hold of your hoodie, yanking you towards him, his other hand reaching for your hair. He’s big and has at least a foot on you in height, but as he glares down at you, you hear Benny’s voice in your head ‘I’m twice the size of you, use that against me’.

Myers snarls again, his hand coming up to grab your hair but this time you're expecting it, grabbing hold him first and twisting yourself and him, forcing him to let go of your hoodie as he steps back and trips over your leg. He doesn’t fall, but swings at your head, so wildly you can see it coming a mile away, ducking under it and landing a punch right over his spleen, making him double over. You try to hit his jaw with your elbow but he stumbles away from you, clutching his side. As you spin around, your fists raised he straightens up, his face red and furious, panting hard. 

“I’m going to fucking kill you, you little bitch,” he sneers, lunging at you again, like a bull rush. It makes it easier for you to dodge him again, your adrenaline spiking, you can practically hear Benny yelling instructions at you as you drop your body low and swipe at Myers’s legs. He twists around, trying to reach you, but he quickly loses his balance and smacks down on his face, as you slip to the side. You run for your gun but a warning shout goes up from the floor above, Frankie is running down the stairs and Myers is on his feet again, rushing you. You turn too late to dodge him but stumble back out of reach of his wild swing, he grabs at your arm, opening himself up and it’s as if you’ve got Benny next to you, pointing at the exact spot he wants you to hit; ‘Right there, hit them hard here, and they’ll drop.’

Your elbow makes contact with Myers’s temple, a hard, sickening thud reverberates through your arm, and Myers keels over, a dead weight on the floor. Frankie’s on you a split second later, his gun trained on Myers while he glances at you, trying to look both at you and Myers at the same time. 

“Are you hurt?” he gasps, still winded from his own fight and the run down the stairs. 

“Everything fucking hurts,” you wince, as you get a chance to feel through your body, “but nothing is broken.” 

A gunshot rings out from the hallway above and you both spin around but relax when you see Pope wave from above. 

“Just disposing of the last one, you got Myers under control?” 

“‘Course they do, my girl took him down like a fucking champ!” Benny grins, jogging down the stairs, “that final punch made me wince.” He raises his gun to Myers and Frankie lowers his, coming over to you, not satisfied by your answer about nothing being broken. 

“You fell fifteen feet, cariño,” he gently runs his hands through your hair, feeling your scalp, “how are you even standing?” 

“I’m fine Frankie, I’m going to be a walking bruise in a few hours, but nothing is broken, I covered my head, just like Benny taught me.” 

“You were fucking amazing, taking him down like that,” Frankie smiles. A groan from Myers makes him turn around and from above you hear Pope call down. 

“Take care of Myers, Ben, we need to catch up to Cox.” 

“My pleasure,” Benny growls and aims his gun towards Myers head, the man flinches and holds his hand up, the fight has completely gone out of him now that he’s woken up to Benny staring down at him. 

“Please, don’t, don’t,” he groans, “I’ll do anything, I can get you supplies, guns, anything, please, please.”

“Yeah? You’re gonna give me my brother’s wife back?” Benny spits out, “She was my family.” He takes a step forward and bends down, his gun pressed to Myers forehead. 

“Wait,” you hiss, making Ben pause his movement, lowering his gun as you walk over to Myers. “If you get to kill him, I get to do this first.” Stepping up to his feet splayed on the floor, you kick at them, spreading his legs. 

“Don’t worry, it’ll stop hurting when he kills you,” you growl, and aim a vicious kick with all the momentum you can gather, into his groin. A collective wince goes up from the men behind you as Myers howls in pain. 

“Now you can kill him,” you say to Benny, turning around.

The shot rings out behind you as you make your way up the stairs to Pope on the second floor. He’s eyeing you with equal parts admiration and fear. 

“Fuck, hermana…” his voice trails off as you give him a dark look. Frankie and Benny come up behind you and you catch Frankie giving you a worried look. Benny just claps you on the shoulder. 

“That’s done, now we get Cox,” he says, jogging off down the hallway towards the stairs Cox and the two remaining men disappeared up.

The three of you follow him, Pope and Ben, quickly scanning each doorway until you hit the final door, leading to the roof. You hang back while the three men advance up the staircase that leads to the roof. The door at the top of the stairs is ajar and Benny does a quick sweep before stepping through it. The roof is empty and you hear Benny curse. 

“Fuck, they’ve made a bridge across to the wall!” he calls, pointing over to a makeshift bridge, made with planks and iron girders, that makes it easy to cross to the next building and then over a second bridge to the top of the wall. “They must’ve built it only in the past few weeks, I didn’t even know it was here.” 

“There!” you point across the buildings, further along you can make out three men running along the wall. 

“C’mon,” Benny orders, taking off at a run, over the first bridge. It doesn’t take long for the four of you to cross over to the wall but by the time you get there, Cox and his men have spotted you. In the distance you can see him wave at his men to hold you off, as he runs further. Frankie’s hand on your shoulder forces you to crouch down behind some rubble when the shots start ringing out. You flinch as a shot bites into the wall close to you, a cloud of dust going up around the hole it leaves. But the two FEDRA soldiers are no match for the veteran Delta Force men, covering each other they quickly take them out and advance forward. Part of you is terrified at being shot at, the adrenaline of your fight with Myers wearing off, as you continue to jog behind Frankie, going after Cox. But another part of you is shouting with pride at seeing the three men, your men, working together with easy ruthlessness to take down anyone that stands in their way. They communicate wordlessly, only hand signals needed, to deal with any threat and when they advance they move in a precise pattern, each man knows where the other two are at any moment.

Cox is still some way away, he’s reached the main guard tower, the one that sits over the main gate to the QZ and it seems he’s realized he’s walked into a dead end, doing a quick spin inside the guard tower before he drops out of sight behind the waist high walls. The wall on the other side of the guard tower is a long straight stretch without any cover. The three Delta Force men would easily take him down with a single shot. And the only way down from the wall is by a wooden staircase, open and unprotected from above, it hugs the wall right between the guard tower and the four of you, he’d be a sitting duck. 

To your surprise the guard tower is empty, it’s usually manned by at least two soldiers at all times. But as you’ve moved along the top of the wall, you’ve heard shouts and gun fire from the QZ, maybe they have been called away to help quell the riots that have clearly broken out all across the QZ now. But there’s another noise, one that’s growing in level, from the other side of the wall. 

“Infected,” Frankie hisses, looking over the edge of the wall. The noise from inside the QZ must’ve attracted them because usually the soldiers only need to take out a few stragglers that come close enough, simple target practice if you forget your shooting at humans. Now there’s a horde of infected, runners they call them, rushing towards the gate, and no soldiers to take them out. The gate’s closed, of course, and thick, but as you see what looks like about fifty infected hurl themselves at the gate, you pray silently that it’s thick enough. This was not something any of you had anticipated happening when the riot started. 

Crouching down behind the angle of one of the walls, Pope quickly peeks over the wall too. 

“Fuck, not good, not good!” he calls over to Benny, who’s crouched down behind a crate just up ahead, “Will the gate hold for them?” 

“Yeah, it should hold,” he replies, still keeping an eye on Cox. He’s also spotted the infected by the gate and ducked his head inside the guard tower again. 

While Benny and Frankie cover him, Pope advances and then repeats the process with Benny and then you and Frankie. But Cox, who has been taking pot shots at you before, has stopped shooting. 

“Hopefully he’s out of ammo,” Benny says to Frankie as Pope makes another run, “Makes our job easier.” 

The final bit of cover for the four of you is just fifteen feet from the guard tower and as you all reach it, Benny calls out to Cox. 

“Give up, Cox, you’re out of ammo it seems, and nowhere to go.” 

“You get any closer, Miller, and you’re all dead!” Cox shouts, his voice shrill, his nerves betraying him. 

“I’ll take my chances,” Benny calls back, “you’re outnumbered.” 

“No, if you come any closer, I’ll make sure we’re all dead!” Cox shouts again, and this time his voice takes on a manic edge that has your hairs standing on end and you look over at Benny, he’s frowning with a slight shake of his head, he doesn’t understand either. 

“I mean it, let me go or I’ll open this fucking gate and let them in!” 

Your eyes go wide and you see your chock reflected in the faces of the others. 

“You know there’s controls for the main gate in here, Miller!” Cox calls, “And I’d rather let this whole fucking QZ get overrun than face that fucking riot you started. All over some fucking girl, Miller! Look at what you’ve done! It’s the fucking end of the world, shit happens, girls die!” His voice is hysterical, panic setting in. 

“Don’t do anything rash, Cox,” Benny calls back to him, “let’s just get off this wall and we’ll sort something out for you.” 

“No! Where’s Myers huh?! You fucking killed him already! I know!” 

“Benny,” Pope whispers, “we need to take him out before he actually opens the gate.” 

Benny nods and glances back at the guard tower, Cox is crouched down out of sight.

“I’ll keep talking to him, you sneak up and deal with him, kill him if you have to.” 

“That crowd is going to tear me to pieces,” Cox shrieks from behind the wall as Pope starts to move towards the tower. “The infected would be better, at least then you all die, not just me! I never did anything but good for this QZ! I kept you all safe for years! Years! Ungrateful fucking people! I’m going to fucking kill you all!” he screeches and you suddenly hear the telltale sound of metal scraping against stone. 

“No! Pope, stop him!” Benny yells, launching himself towards the tower as Pope covers the last few steps. You glance up over the wall and see Pope fire his gun at Cox, he’s out of sight but the heavy thud as his body hits the ground is enough to tell you he didn’t miss.. 

Benny slams his hand over the gate controls, “Stop, stop, fucking stop,” he yells, his voice taking on an edge of desperation you’ve never heard from him before. Frankie runs to the inside ledge of the wall and looks over the edge. 

“They’re inside!” he calls, “About twenty of them, we need to fucking go!”

You run to him and glance over the wall too, fear pools in the pit of your belly as you see the runners spread out, chasing towards the sounds of the riots further inside. Frankie quickly swings his rifle off his shoulder and aims, quickly taking out three infected, but a handful have already sprinted past the first corner, their speed and numbers breaking down the chain link fences that stand inside the quarantine area. Benny and Pope swing around and start shooting too, you bring your handgun up but Frankie stops you. 

“Save your ammo, you’re too far away to be able to take them down with that.” he says, bringing the scope of the rifle up to aim at another runner. 

“Stairs!” Benny yells, swinging his rifle around to the wood stairs where several infected are coming up. 

“We need to go!” Frankie yells again, taking your wrist. The infected are charging up the stairs, too many for you to take out in time. Benny gets off a final shot, momentarily slowing down the runners by killing the first one, his body falling back down the stairs. And then you’re running, Frankie’s hand like a vice around your wrist as the four of you sprint back the way you came. Behind you can hear the screech of the infected but you daren’t glance back to see how many there are. Your lungs are aching, Frankie’s long legs almost dragging you along as you try to keep up with his strides. When you reach the first bridge your chest aches and you’ve got a stitch jabbing your side. The bridge creaks as you run across it and Frankie drags you towards the next one, Pope just behind. 

“Benny! What the fuck! Move!” he yells as he realizes that Benny isn't right behind him. But Ben has stopped at the end of the first bridge, his hands frantically searching for something at the edge. 

“Benny!” you scream, the runners are so close, the first one already on the bridge, going right for him. Pope starts running back over the rooftop towards the bridge as Frankie swings his rifle off his shoulder again and takes aim, the first infected dropping just feet from Benny. 

“Benny!” you yell again, you can feel your voice cracking with panic but at the very last second, Benny finds what he’s looking for and yanks something out of the bridge, tumbling backwards with the effort. The bridge groans and collapses, the planks slipping off the iron girders and tumbling into the alley below, with a great clank the girders go the same way, taking the infected down. 

You feel the air leave your lungs as Benny stumbles to his feet, Pope at his side, and the two men run towards you and Frankie, over the second bridge. 

“You’re fucking insane, Miller!” you slap his arm harder than you mean to before hugging him. You can feel him breathing hard under your cheek. 

“We need to go, it’s not safe here,” Frankie says, clapping Benny’s shoulder, “Fucking awesome job, man.” 

“Herb’s idea, he implemented it a few years ago, a genius idea.” Benny lets go of you, squeezing your arm lightly before moving towards the door back into the HQ building. 

“I think we need to get out of the QZ and as far away as possible,” Pope says and Frankie nods. 

“Yeah, Cox killed everyone, fucking sick bastard. I never thought he'd be that twisted.” 

“Getting out of the QZ is your specialty,” Benny says, nodding at Santi, “lead the way, Pope.” 

Chapter 25

Tag list: @pimosworld @i-own-loki @casa-boiardi @littlenosoul @stormseyer @mxtokko  @javicstories @nunya7394 @welcometothepedroverse @harriedandharassed @meveispunk @hiroikegawa

#frankie morales #frankie morales x you #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales fanfiction #frankie morales fluff #pedro pascal character fanfiction #frankie morales fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #frankie morales x fem!reader #frankie morales x f!reader #frankie morales x reader (you) #benjamin miller #santiago garcia #tlou au #triple frontier fic #triple frontier #triple frontier fanfiction

[bengiyo]

Comfort Films Tag

Rules: List 7 of your comfort movies, then tag 7 people.

Tagged by @callipigio

1 - Shelter (2007)

I often joke around here about how I’ve been watching queer cinema for over half of my life at this point, and it’s easy to recommend this film. This is a coming of age film about a guy who gave up art school to become the primary breadwinner and caregiver for his family. However, when the older brother of his best friend returns to their town to collect himself, our artist and he reconnect and find something special between them. Great use of a young actor in this shores up the caregiving aspects.

I’m probably going to rewatch it now. Because it was produced by Here! TV, you can only legally watch it via a subscription to their platform. I own it on DVD because I fell in love with it and knew I needed to keep it forever.

2 - Big Eden (2000)

Big Eden. Oh, Big Eden. This is the film equivalent of a warm blanket and a tight hug. It’s about an artist named Henry Hart, who is preparing for a big exhibition in New York when he’s called back home to Montana because his uncle has had a stroke. We are greatest with the most queer-friendly town to ever exist as Henry manages his old angst about his straight best friend as the local general store owner also secretly pursues him. It’s absolutely lovely.

3 - The Blues Brothers (1980)

Luna has great taste, because this is one of the best films ever made. What was originally just an SNL bit turns into a fun road film about getting the band back together so that two brothers can raise enough money to pay the back taxes owed by the orphanage they grew up in. We also run over Illinois nazis in this movie and demolish dozens of cop cars. Cab Calloway, James Brown, Carrie Fisher, Chaka Khan, Paul Reubens, and Aretha Franklin are in it. John Candy orders orange whips. This is the kind of film I would watch with my dad any time it was on.

4 - Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)

This is one of the most man movies ever made. I don’t know any woman who wants to sit down and watch this film, but me and boys will spend an entire afternoon on this film in a heartbeat. The sexual tension between Russell Crowe’s and Paul Bettany’s characters goes unremarked on this website in a way that lets you know for sure this hellsite is dominated by femmes, because those two have definitely fucked. At least twice. It’s 1805 and oceans have become battlefields!

5 - Clue (1985)

A movie based on the board game of the same name should not have been this good, but it instead goes on to become a camp masterpiece. Many people will end up remembering Tim Curry for Rocky Horror or even Muppet Treasure Island, but this is still one of his favorite performances for me. This film is batshit and I love it. 

6 - Camp (2003)

Speaking of camp films, let’s talk about one of the best of all time. I know we often talk about the bad singing in Thai BL, but I unironically love all of the musical theater in this film. I regularly listen to this soundtrack, and have been for over 15 years. It’s a film about a bunch of weird theater kids who get to escape the bullying and hellishness of their lives for a few weeks during the summer, where they get to put on a bunch of classic plays. It’s so camp. I love this film because it was difficult for me to find queer films that had happy components with them, and this little movie has a wide array of queer kids in it.

7 - Make The Yuletide Gay (2009)

This was the first queer film I ever watched that had a happy ending that was also a comedy. Prior to this, I think I had watched Beautiful Thing (1996), Edge of Seventeen (1998), Get Real (1998), and Bent (1997). Most of those films ended resolved or sad. Yuletide is a silly little gay film of almost nonstop innuendo about a guy who goes back into the closet when he returns home for Christmas, but hijinks ensue when his boyfriend shows up unexpectedly. It’s an annual watch for me around the holidays, and I usually host people for it. 

Also, Adamo Ruggiero is in it! He played Marco on Degrassi: The Next Generation.

This was fun! I think most folks have been tagged that I know, but I’ll tag @warningtothecurious​. If anyone else does this, please tag me back if you do this! I want to know what films you all return to.

#tag meme #comfort films #shelter 2007 #make the yuletide gay #big eden #the blues brothers #camp 2003 #clue 1985 #master and commander #Ben watches #ben writes

[danmei-in-polls]

Submissions Open masterpost

blue for tournaments that haven't been updated in a while, and it's unclear when or if they will be ran

Characters:

Autistic headcanon bracket

Best hater

Characters who need to be put in the incinerator suggested: old palace master (svsss)

Characters with numbers in their names suggested: shen jiu, yue qingyuan, six balls (svsss), jing beiyuan (qi ye)

Cringefail biromantic poll

Disabled Characters Showdown confirmed: wen kexing (tian ya ke, shan he ling), zhou zishu (shan he ling) suggested: hua cheng (tgcf), zhou zishu (tian ya ke), cui buqu (wushuang), xiao xingchen (mdzs), xue xian (tqks)

Favorite disabled webnovel character suggested: see the list for "Disabled Characters Showdown" above

Favorite webnovel criminal

Feral MILFs

Fuckable faves

Guy followed around by a Voice

Guys you'd call mommy suggested: shen qingqiu (svsss)

Hateable character tournament

Hot moms in media

I'd call her sir (horny)

Morally questionable anime milf (broader eastern media characters allowed) suggested: yu ziyuan (mdzs)

Most attractive fucked-up character

Most influential twink of all time

Most Meaningless Character Death

Pure Beef Bean (as opposed to smol bean)

Queer-coded characters (new!)

Smartest webnovel character

Trans webnovel character

Transmigration destination protagonists' showdown confirmed: luo binghe (svsss), baili qingmiao (dvawtk)

Ultimate bottom

Ultimate top

Women with big dicks / BDE suggested: su xiyan (svsss)

Couples / ships:

Fucked-up ships

Most Divorced Couple

Toxic Old Men Yaoi

Webnovel rarepair

Groups:

Canine and feline duo suggested: feng xin and mu qing (tgcf)

Other:

Best book to movie adaptation (TV shows included)

Misogynistic Media Tournament

Queer shows and movies (i asked, censored bl goes!) (new!)

Webnovel monster (non-humanoid)

Not tournaments:

Can they lift Thor's hammer? Could they wield Mjolnir? (different blog with same/similar theme)

Could aromanticism save them?

Could fatness have saved them? (temporarily closed)

Could gayness save them?

Could lesbianism save them?

Could polyamory have saved them? (new!)

Could they assemble IKEA furniture?

Could transition have saved her? (for potential transfems)

Could transition have saved them?

Could being trans save them? Did transitioning save them? (different blog with same/similar theme)

Do you know this ADHD character?

The Babygirl Polls

Throuple or love triangle? (new!)

Webnovel tournaments suggestions

Would it fix them?

Would you punt them into the sun?

#submissions open

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With the Essential BLs: Bad Buddy Edition

[The Reasons and Gratitude: While QL has exploded in volume over the last half-decade, I’ve been juggling a career with making and feeding babies. Now that my kids are bigger, I’m catching up on the essential QL dramas. Big ups to @absolutebl’s encyclopedic lists that I use for reference, as well as the recommendations of many dear mutuals. For the Bad Buddy recommendation, I thank my forever darling, @the-nihongo-adventure! Thank you for reading my reviews of shows you’ve already watched! REALLY LONG POST COMING: caveat emptor.]

I’ve been thinking for days on how I should start this review. Bad Buddy has waylaid me with an emotional brutality (in a good way!) that I haven’t been able to shake for weeks. Couple that with a speedy education in the ways of Aof Noppharnach through Moonlight Chicken, and well, my middle-aged heart has taken a lot.

Before I dive in, I’d like to quickly cite the amazing @emotionallychargedtowel, who referenced Murray Bowen’s family systems theory in a post about pursuer-distancer couplings. Family systems theory posits that human behavior is shaped by the structure of the family unit as a complex social system. In other words: through spoken, unspoken, assumed, and expected demands, instincts, boundaries, and pulls/pushes, humans as individuals are conditioned to interact in society vis à vis how they learned to interact with others through their familial upbringings.

Why do I bring this up in regards to Bad Buddy? I haven’t even begun to plummet the sheer depth of analysis about BBS on Tumblr (I’m deeply impressed by the volumes of analysis by my new dear mutual, @telomeke-bbs, whose posts served as wonderful references while I was watching the show), so if I’m repeating popular analysis, I apologize. 

But for me, BBS was rooted first and foremost in a study of intergenerational trauma, and how our two UNBELIEVABLE protagonists, Pran and Pat, battled expected roles and boundaries from their families/family systems and friends to end up together. 

I know now, through Moonlight Chicken, that Aof is an utter master at layering themes together. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it.

And I want to say upfront that while I want to be an objective reviewer of this show, I absolutely cannot be. While I’m thinking about Aof’s mastery of studying intergenerational trauma through the lens of a QL drama, my heart aches, in passionate subjectivity, about how important his work is for young Asians watching it. I only can wish, as a first-generation child of immigrants from South and Southeast Asia, that I had been able to watch these shows when I was growing up. If I had seen Asians making shows about intergenerational trauma through an Asian lens, about very progressive topics like same-sex relationships in Asia -- I would have known that there was a world of support and shared experiences for the kind of intergenerational trauma that I and my friends faced, when we all were growing up, Asian in America and elsewhere. 

This was a terribly long introduction to say that while many other themes percolated throughout Bad Buddy (in typical Aof fashion, as I’m now understanding), including school dynamics, Thai queer culture, unrequited love, familial acceptance of same-sex relationships, and more -- that for me, in a very biased way, I HAD to see this show through the lens of intergenerational trauma. This show helped me to have hope that generations of continental and diasporic Asians will be better able to fend off these pressures through the medium of drama art.

So. My thoughts on Bad Buddy are rooted in a lens of intergenerational trauma. But what I also picked up on, vis à vis the boundaries I mentioned earlier emanating out of families as complex social systems -- is that Aof threw in a little (actually a lot) of David Hegel’s thesis-antithesis-synthesis framework as well. This framework allows for the criss-crossing of boundaries to come to a unified resolution -- and good lord, Bad Buddy came to that conclusion so INCREDIBLY well. The Hegelian framework was the means by which, I think, Aof could explore tearing down the deep-rooted effects of intergenerational trauma on the Asian society depicted in BBS.

Throughout the entire show, Pran and Pat danced around boundaries. At least at the start of the show, they never dared to cross the line between the two garbage bins in the front of their houses. These boundaries had been CREATED by Pran’s and Pat’s parents. And the boys were taught from birth -- you cross that line, and bad things will happen. Don’t play with the boy next door. Don’t fall for the kids next door. So: don’t get caught in front of us.

But Pat and Pran crossed the boundaries BEHIND their houses, BEHIND the VERY watchful eyes of their families, starting at a young age, and keeping that boundary-breaking a secret. Pran crossed a significant boundary by saving Pa from drowning. 

But then they went to the same university, and new boundaries formed, between their arch-rival faculties. Pat sees that pressure and acts within it, defending his engineering homies against Pran’s architecture friends. 

We saw in the first episode that it would be Pat’s family that would be the first to begin breaking those boundaries as adults -- but it wasn’t Pat who began that work. It was Pa.

I’ve always found it interesting that it’s younger siblings who often have the “easiest” time breaking hard-set boundaries and family codes. I know, because I count in that category (and I know this is an overgeneralization, but just roll with me for a sec). Younger siblings see the shit their older counterparts -- parents, sibs, whoever -- create and deal with. And younger sibs then can develop better ways of managing the pressures that come from that shit. Myself included, I’ve often seen younger sibs be the first ones to marry in family units, to have children, to get jobs, to move away from home, etc. Younger siblings often have the ability to say NO more easily than their older family members. It’s, I think, a natural occurrence to take place in a family system of multiple siblings.

So it’s Pa who says to Pat: promise me you won’t hurt Pran. Right off the bat, she asks for a breaking of a boundary that Pat, his parents, and the engineering faculty homies want to uphold. And Pat, being devoted to his sister, agrees to the promise -- and the whole confused dance between him and Pran as adults begins.

I LOVED this. The show needed an immediate impetus to break what could have been a groaning, stereotypical Romeo-and-Romeo paradigm. This wasn’t going to end in mutual suicide -- hell no, not in a Thai BL. This drama needed to go places. As well, for me, I think Pa was set up to be an indirect foil to the pressures that Pran faces later in the series, simply by way of BEING in the form of a younger sibling.

The repeated theme during the first few episodes that I latched onto was Pran saying to Pat, “things don’t end well when I’m close to you.” In episode 1, Pat retorts -- “at least you won’t get transferred this time around.” In episode 4, Pran repeats himself, and guess what happens? He sees Pat with Ink, and experiences the repeated trauma of unintentional rejection at the hands of Pat. 

So, Pran feels like he’s learning his lesson, time and time again. He’s thinking -- I like Pat, I can’t help but like Pat. But my parents might be right. Bad things happen when this dude is around. My heart gets broken.

What’s the difference between Pran and Pat here? Pat can exist more carefree, open, instinctual. He can like people more openly. He can be honest with his feelings. WHY? Because he had a family support system while he was growing up that allowed him to take risks -- because he had a sibling, because he was the eldest son -- because he knew, through his family structure, that despite his behavior, that his family would be there for him. He was simply raised differently, in part because his family was slightly bigger, and his family had LESS to lose if they potentially lost Pat to a lifetime of disapproval. Pat can take risks, because he’ll still have Pa, even if he loses his parents.

When I think about Pran, through the lens of intergenerational trauma, I go back to the family systems theory. While I was talking about younger siblings earlier, Pran’s a totally different story. He’s an only child. He IS the BRUNT of the familial pressure to conform to everything his family wants him to be. He was raised that way, and no one can help it, if the family unit is a triad. If Pran disappears from his family because of their disapproval -- not only do they NOT have a son, but Pran HIMSELF doesn’t have a family. He has far more to lose. He feels he can’t take risks.

I am sure there’s reams of analysis about how understandable Pran’s reaction to his first kiss with Pat was. But I took his walk away from Pat to be that recognition. Pran simply could not believe in a future with Pat -- no way. Pran would lose everything he knew. 

Hegel’s framework? This is Pran’s thesis: while I love Pat, I can’t have Pat, because if I have Pat, I’m crossing a boundary that should never be crossed. My world will fall apart. I need to walk away and deny that that kiss ever happened.

And what’s the antithesis here? I think, at this moment in the series, the antithesis IS Pat. It’s Pat’s queer revelation, and his ABILITY to just MOVE on his feelings. In just ONE EPISODE, y’all! In episode 5! SO FAST! (Come AWN, Pat, you WINNER, LOVE YOU.) But that’s Pat for you -- Pat, the antithesis of Pran, the guy who can move, because he has less to lose.

(Let me stop for a sec, stop the analyzing. THAT KISS. THE BEST EVER. NANON! OHM! COME AWN! AAAAHHHH!!!!)

So what does Pat do in episodes 6 and 7? He starts the first SYNTHESIS: he crosses that damn boundary and chases after his man. He goes to the zero-waste village, and -- as SO OFTEN happens in Hegelian thesis-based frameworks -- the guys go to the sea, to the water, to cross the water, to kickstart Pran’s antithesis to his life thesis, and to begin their synthesis together, their connection. (Remember Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse and crossing the river, woop woop!)

Like I said before -- not to be a huge fuckin’ nerd or anything, but whoops, too late -- I think the Hegelian framework allowed Aof to WRITE this script and leverage the familial boundary risks for the sake of the show. Because, as I wrote at length in my review of the Cherry Magic movie, taking these risks from the perspective of the Asian family unit is EEEENOOORMOUS. Legit, fam: Asian families WILL dump children. There is disowning. It happens. It’s KNOWN, in the backs of our minds, BAKED UNCONSCIOUSLY into our understanding of who we are as Asian individuals, that our families might give us up, because many of our families have overtly threatened it. Even if there isn’t active disowning, parents can passively judge you and be disappointed in you for the rest of your life, and you damn well know it.

Overgeneralization? Whatever you think. But I’ve experienced it. My friends have experienced it. Kurosawa knew it when he risks disownment to stay with Adachi in the Cherry Magic movie. I severely risked it when I, like, grew up -- when I wanted to date, to get engaged, to get married. I didn’t talk to certain family members for years. My siblings’ relationships were strained. All because I wasn’t falling in line with my family’s expectations for who I needed to be vis à vis THEIR expectations of me -- to stay home and let them dictate how to live my life (literally, not joking).

Instead of doing a typical Romeo-and-Romeo set-up, I think what Aof was doing here, by way of having Pat step out first to begin the boundary-breaking -- and we know now WHY Pat could do that, because of his family system ALLOWING him to be a person to take more risks -- is that he was demonstrating that positive change could happen, the trauma could be stopped, if the guys created family between each other. AOF IS SAYING: I’M GOING TO PROVE THAT THEY CAN STOP THE TRAUMA TOGETHER. I’m crying right now.

And before I get further, another note about Aof’s brilliance. He allowed us to see HOW COMPLICATED Pran is, before the real boundary breaking began. He allowed us to SEE that Pran COULD MAYBE BE OKAY with taking a risk -- vis à vis Pran’s love for music. God, I was SO STRUCK in the scene when Pran is writing the high school song with Pat in episode 5. 

I think Pran’s not just talking about love here. I think, indirectly, he’s also talking about the risk of riling his family boundaries up.

(I want to note quickly that both Aof and Jojo Phukhaotong really leverage Nanon’s acting beautifully in these moments -- besides this music scene, there was Pran and Wai in the library talking about relationships and the school play, and in Dirty Laundry, Night meditates on music and love to a sleeping Neon. Nanon really nails this unwinding in his acting.)

I think Aof included these scenes of Pran meditating like this, because Pat couldn’t just hold Pran’s hand at the beach and sweep Pran away. That’s not how the Hegelian framework works. You gotta be ready, to be active, you gotta do the WORK, to reach enlightenment. The entire series shows Pran’s journey to acceptance about himself and about the fate he’ll have with Pat. We, as viewers, needed to see Pran be ready to do that. Sure, he has a forever crush on Pat. But we’ve now established the utterly enormous risks he faced -- more so than Pat ever needed to deal with -- if Pran’s family learned about Pran’s feelings, leanings, and ultimate decision to be with Pat.

We needed to hear, verbally, that Pran’s hesitation was real, that he was balancing in a very complicated way, all the risks he needed to consider. Maybe some people got frustrated at the high level of his complicated feelings, but I think the pace and plot made total sense. And, oh god -- the scene at the beach, where they touch hands and imagine a world where their parents aren’t fighting. Oh my god. AAAAAHHHH. Tears. Synthesis, baby, synthesis.

So then. The boundaries between the guys come down. They start getting kee-yoot. The games in episode 7, the help with the play in episode 8. It’s chef’s kiss, y’all. 

But the boundaries come roaring back. The trauma resurfaces. Even while Pran contextualizes to Wai in the library -- “you can’t change the person or the time” when you fall in love -- what also doesn’t change is the world around them. The faculties still hate each other. Pat experiences familial rejection for the first time in his dad’s disappointment about the architecture play. The relationship is revealed. Wai rejects Pran. The seniors reject Pat. 

(FAN BREAK: luv you, Aof, that gratuitous shirtlessness at the xylophone, LOVED IT, ::pointing to Aof::, LOVED IT.) 

But. Episode 9 kicks in. Korn comes thru, MVP. (Yum, satay.) And I see something in Pran, when he approaches Pat at the bench at lunch. 

I see Pran finally, truly, CROSSING HIS OWN LINE. Pran could have PANICKED at the revelation of their relationship to the school. He could have used it as an excuse to chicken out, to back away, again to cite that bad things happen when I get close to you, Pat.

But Pran didn’t do that. He holds Pat down, he steadies Pat. They hold each other down, because -- oh god, my chest is aching here, I’m tearing up -- in that moment, Pran’s recognizing that you need to be there for the family you’ve chosen and made. These are HIS NEW BOUNDARIES -- his new family system and unit. It’s his, and his alone. 

Sure, we see in earlier episodes that part of Pran’s love language is nurturing, through cooking for Pat (and sometimes Pa, too, omg so cute), and that he learned that at the hands of his mother. But I saw something different in that simple scene at the lunch bench, after Pat got rejected by his seniors. I saw Pran’s confirmation that he was going to stick the landing of the synthesis, once and for all. That was when he wasn’t going to use any other excuse, ever again, to walk away from Pat, as others had begun to do to Pat. 

And then we get the last three brilliant, BRILLIANT episodes of this already brilliant series. Let me set this up, because I think the way Aof did this, as yuzh, was incredible:

Episode 10: There are too many things about episode 10 to list in this already enormous post. I may have to write a separate post about how I think episode 10 was one of the greatest single episodes of a drama I’ve ever watched (the penultimate episode of Extraordinary Attorney Woo also comes to mind). 

In any case, the Hegelian framework comes roaring back. We’re nearing the end of the series, and we need to remember as to why we’re here, and how we got to this point. The episode served as a major reminder of Pran’s original thesis -- we learn the reason why the families were at war. We learn that the demands of the separation came from Ming and Dissaya. The boys come out to their folks. The truth of Ming and Dissaya come out. 

We learn that Ming himself is a product of MAJOR INTERGENERATIONAL TRAUMA, from his father, so much so that he fucked up a major opportunity for Dissaya. Trauma on trauma on trauma. (Seriously relatable for almost all Asians with pressurized parents.)

And Pran -- PRAN -- TELLS HIS MOTHER, TO HER FACE, that it was HER traumatizing HIM that led HIM to be the way he IS. At the end of this episode, before he rejoins Pat, he finally confronts his mother, and begins his holistic antithesis for the final time.

The boys come back together at the end of the episode, and weep, and embrace. And Pat says: we’re getting the fuck out of here.

(Now’s a good time to link to a meme on intergenerational trauma that my cousins in SE Asia shared with me around the end of 2021 -- interesting timing that this was floating around the WhatsApps and LINEs of that period.)

Episode 11: Leaving. Antithesis. The sea. Crossing boundaries. Living their lives together.

Oh my god, my aching heart. Pat spending most of the episode insisting that they were going to live together, forever, in the village. The antithesis to their lives in Bangkok. Pran knowing better. Pat knowing it, too.

The fact that until the very last minute, the entire episode was spent in the village, meant SO MUCH TO ME. This episode gave the guys TIME to process THEMSELVES, and their decisions. Oh lord, tears on tears.

And: what did the guys do? THEY COMMITTED TO EACH OTHER. CREATING THEIR FAMILY TOGETHER. They were going to do it THEIR WAY -- and, AND, AND -- BREAK THE CHAIN OF TRAUMA that they both faced, as assigned and influenced by their parents, by leveraging their new family unit TOGETHER. 

And who helped give them that oomph, that power? Who helped them get context to see that that work was WORTH DOING -- even if it wouldn’t end up changing their families? 

Uncle Tong. The boys got to see that through Uncle Tong. 

They got to see that one individual, or two individuals together, can’t change the world. The boys learned, indirectly, that they can’t change the world of their parents. But they can improve THEIR OWN WORLD. 

Episode 12: SYNTHESIS. 

When I was perusing the BBS tags for analysis, something I read piqued my interest: that the boys had to remain closeted to their families and friends.

I wouldn’t call it closeted. Instead, I want to guess what Aof was doing here.

I truly think Aof was showing compassion to the parental generation. It’s not the parents’ faults that they themselves were products of intergenerational trauma (peep the meme from earlier). 

For me -- I’m an adult now, but I still carry the scars of my childhood -- I was disappointed not to see a bigger family resolution during my first watch of episode 12. But after a careful rewatch, I think Aof was being majorly realistic in his writing. These families weren’t going to come together in a finale, let alone in a day, let alone after DECADES of fighting. 

Intergenerational trauma has to stop somewhere if you’re cognizant of it, and Pran and Pat’s parents weren’t cognizant of it. But: the guys certainly were. As we saw in the shots above, Pran himself CALLED OUT his mom for it in episode 10. 

So I think I understand why Aof didn’t make a sparkling, holistically accepting ending out of this, because -- it was unrealistic. Ming and Dissaya still carry THEIR scars, and THEY need time to heal, too. 

Their partners -- Pran’s dad and Pat’s mom -- are more ready for that change. They’re getting slightly caught up in the winds of change. Hell, even Pat’s mom says, “We are the adults” in episode 10 to Ming. Like Pa, Pat’s mom is demonstrating a little gentle nudge towards changing HER boundaries of the situation. 

And the boys stated their stance at the end:

“Just like Uncle Tong said, we can’t change the world. All we could do was adjust to it, and live happily. We might not be able to change the people around us. BUT THEY COULDN’T CHANGE THE TWO OF US, EITHER.” [emphasis mine, obv]

I want to make one very last point that deeply touched my heart, and, I feel, confirms my theory about the boys making a new family unit together, complete with the boundaries of their choosing, and refusing to carry the trauma of their pasts. @telomeke-bbs​ wrote a lovely post, in part, about the meaning of Pran’s liquor gift to Ming. I totally agree with the analysis, and just wanted to add some cultural flavor. 

Being an in-law in an Asian family structure means you show respect to your in-law elders. It’s just an unspoken, natural part of our being (and it helps if you like your in-laws). I’m married to a Westerner, but in many ways, I treat my Western in-laws with the same kind of respect as I would if they were Asian. So that means, I cook generously (they don’t expect me to do it, don’t worry -- I just like doing it, because it makes me feel like we’re family), and I serve up fine-ass cocktails (hell yeah). It’s fun, but it also makes me feel like I’m nurturing my extended family.

Pran gave the liquor gift to Ming, because....Ming is his family. Hey, Ming? Womp womp. You’ve got a son-in-law -- because Pran is taking on that role, despite your best efforts to reject that reality. And I see you, Ming, slowly, slowly, slowly begin to imagine that reality when you took a sip. 

The reality is that when the boys became family to each other, they indirectly adopted each other’s families as their own -- because that’s just what happens in a relationship. And the liquor gift confirmed that. My heart SWELLED when Pran gave the gift to Pat, and I saw the duty-free bags in Pat’s family’s living room. How many times have I seen that scene in my life, when fam came back to visit from overseas -- scores of times. It meant so much. I’m going to bring a piece of overseas back to my family, even if my family, my in-laws, reject me. Maturity, motherfuckas. My man, Pran. Best son-in-law.

Aof took SO MUCH of what Asians expect about how our lives should be lived in this show, and absolutely turned it on its head. His SCRUTINY at what keeps adults back, at how adults raise children -- and about how children can CHANGE PARADIGMS, through love and partnership -- is CRITICAL COMMENTARY for young Asians, and young people around the world.

Oh, man. Do I have any more words? I’m all written out. If you got this far, thank you. This show WILL BE required viewing for my kids when they’re older. I want them to see what intergenerational trauma means to their Asian heritage. I want them to CALL ME and my hubs OUT for it. And I want them to know how they can be so strong, like Pat and Pran, to change the trajectory of their lives for the better. 

*Tagging @bengiyo​ by request. <3

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