#mmmmm… I’ve been thinking about this for days btw lol…

[bleue-flora]

Personally, I think that c!Sam's shovel and hoe were probably just intended as tools rather than weapons. That doesn't mean that they were never used as weapons, he could've brought them along to the prison with the intent to use them, but I guess I see it as more of a symbolic thing? He's finally stepping up. Ever since Tommy's death, Sam has felt like a failure of a warden, and now Quackity is prompting him to jump back into the role with both feet—and a warden needs all of his equipment, right? It would be unprofessional not to. He can't get caught off guard again. (Even if he knows that this stuff will probably never get used.)

But anyway, Sam's naming seems to follow his usual trend of grandiose righteousness—Warden's Will, Mercy, etc. The only real exception is Warden's Torment; that one really sticks out as dark and violent in contrast to his arguably worse sword, which is just his "will". Even Warden's Will Breaker doesn't have to be interpreted as sinister if you're seeing it through Sam's eyes; the will is only being broken as a necessary step, a means to an end, not out of cruelty.

So with a shovel and a hoe, things that aren't explicitly meant as weapons, I feel like Sam would continue to name them something grandiosely righteous. Your ideas of Warden's Generosity, Hospitality, Favor are nice—also maybe something like Warden's Gift or Bounty. These tools are intended to create life, not destroy it.

There's some scattered thoughts of mine anyway, I hope they make sense because I just. Have not slept. Behold my essay.

[context]

Oh 100%. Well said. It is for sure more symbolic and you never know what obstacles you might face as a Warden. Especially in a place with such mining fatigue, having the proper tool is important. I mean we all saw what Dream did in manhunt using hay bales to trap everyone in the water temple, an Efficiency IV netherite hoe would have been very useful then. He’s on a mission to kill Dream and this is right after a security issue, for him to be over prepared for anything makes sense. Whether or not he intended to use them for more cruel reasons is certainly debatable.

Still it is fun to think about. And I have always interpreted Dream’s line to Foolish - “Sam, you know, let him in the prison, let him bring in tools—and shears, and they tried to torture the revive book out of me…” - as making all Minecraft tools fair game, because why not? If shears, why not a shovel or hoe? A sharp edge is a sharp edge after all.

Regardless, Wardens Bounty has a good ring to it, yea you know what I’m gonna dub Sam’s Hoe with Efficiency IV, Fortune III, Mending and Unbreaking III as Wardens Bounty and Sam’s Shovel with Efficiency IV, Fortune III, Mending and Unbreaking III as Wardens Favor

Anyways, good thoughts and thanks for indulging my madness even while sleep deprived <3

#mmmmm… I’ve been thinking about this for days btw lol… #c!sam and c!dream #prison arc #dsmp analysis #hello there #dsmp #c!sam #c!awesamdude #dreblr #pandora’s vault has a singular purpose #this is fine #lore mysteries #c!quackity's torture tools

[sleepwrites]

Hello hello! I hope you are having an excellent day! May I request some dating Macaque hcs?? Please and thank you! ^^

Helloooo! Yes you can, I’ve been meaning to write some simple hcs! Reader is gn btw.

What its like dating the six eared Macaque

Macaque didn’t know what the feeling he felt when he saw you was. He thought at first you had cursed him or something lol.

Why was your laugh so pretty? Why did your smile seem to light up the room? Why did he feel butterflies in his stomach when you smiled at him? Why did he get so jealous when someone tried flirting with you (and why did he feel so relieved when you turned them down)

He went to MK and Mei for help after a few months of that. They set him straight.

“You’ve got a crush dude,”

“Haha! Tang owes me 10!”

He will try to act all cool and suave, trying to impress you actually. If you do end up flustered he counts it as a win! If you flirt back… well lets just say you made him fall in love with you twice.

You have to be the one to confess first, sorry bestie but he aint good at this stuff lol.

He will be overjoyed you feel the same way. Expect him to be smiling and staring at you for the next two weeks.

His favourite place to give you kisses is smack dab on the lips (especially if you have some sort of flavoured lip balm/gloss/lipstick on)

Mmmmm expect a lot of movie nights to turn into make out sessions.

His favourite nicknames for you are: ‘Sugar, Doll, Moonlight, Darling’

He loves pda doesn’t matter where you are or what your doing, if he wants affection you will give him affection.

He came up with a shadow play about a grizzled warrior meeting a wonderful person and they fell in love. He describes the love interest with such care you’d think that he knew them personally.

Love love loves it when you stroke your fingers through fur, getting all the knots out and what not. It feels so wonderful and so right.

Dont even try to escape cuddle time, he’ll just send out a clone to drag your back to bed.

#lmk #lmk x reader #lmk macaque x reader

[gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights]

Ok it’s been AGES-- as in, since before I made this blog-- but @ladylynse I’m finally doing the writing asks you sent me that had been buried so far in my inbox I forgot about them lol (hope it’s not too late)

1) How do you typically deal with writer’s/art block?

Start another WIP too often lol.  Sometimes if it’s a big block, I’ll switch between writing/drawing to whichever one I’m not blocked on at the moment. (Very art blocked for a while, which is why I’ve had so many fics, lol.)

2) Name something else you’re talented at–or enjoy doing, if you question your actual talent.

I like sewing a lot!! I make plushes from time to time.

3) Angst or fluff?

Used to be neck-deep in angst but definitely leaning towards fluff more now.  Like them both though, hurt/comfort tends to have the best balance for me.

4) Fanfiction/fanart or original stuff, in a perfect world where they are received equally well?

I still love fanfiction lol.  I’ve never been able to hyperfixate on my original stuff the way I do with fanfics

5) Crossovers: never, anytime, or really depends on the fandoms (if this is the case, what would you not write/draw/read a crossover with vs something you would)?

Only in very specific cases.  Love crack crossovers.  I tend to not read crossovers unless I’m familiar with both/all fandoms involved, though.  One of my favorite crossovers was a HTTYD/Megamind one-shot I read in my very very early days of FFN.

6) Name three of your favourite fandoms (crossovers included if it’s a particular crossover, eg secret quartet or superphantom).

Kingdom Hearts, Avatar, ML! (Sorry DP i still love you too ahhh)

7) Who’s one of your oldest online friends that you’re still in contact with, even if you don’t share the same fandoms anymore?

Mmmmm I think @breezy-cheezy would be the oldest! (this is taliax btw since I have a new sideblog like, once a month lol)

8) Ever met someone IRL you knew first online–or would you, given the chance? (Up to you if you want to name names.)

Only in very specific circumstances!  Planning on meeting a few friends this summer :D

9) Name a character or two you relate to, and say how.

I relate to Marinette in blowing small details up into complete disasters at times lol

10) Do you typically go into a fic/art project with a plan, adaptable though that plan may be, or does your ‘plan’ typically consist of ‘I’m going to wing it and see what happens’?

Mostly I wing it, sometimes I have a few scenes/lines of dialogue I’m gearing towards. (Often they don’t get used, lol.)  I usually have to see what the characters end up doing once they get there.

#tag meme #im too tired to tag/come up with more questions but these were fun to answer!! #thats why i held onto them so long lol

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

Rewatching Syren

The little mermaid is my favourite ondertale episode

What kind of dystopia do these poor Parisians live in where stuff like this is happening even when there aren’t akuma attacks going on??? ignore Pocahontas in the corner okay that’s just the Disney Channel thing, the sequel sucks anyway

Uh just a warning. So, I know in these rewatching ml posts I always harp on about Kimax this, Kimax that, Kimax Kimax Kimax. But the truth is that after 2 seconds of seeing Ondine onscreen I already wanted her to marry Kim so be prepared for me screeching over Kimdine a lot in this thing okay, I am TRASH and I’m not even sorry about it

How much do you wanna bet Kim has broken every single one of these rules multiple times

HE PINNED HIS TOWEL TO HIS SHOULDERS LIKE A CAPE, HE’S SUCH A DORK I LOVE HIM???

I love Ondine so much too, she’s basically buff freckly Ariel and she’s so cute oh my god freckles for days

Okay so the sign’s in a bunch of different languages and I’m 99% sure Kim has ignored it many, many times

He didn’t put his goggles on when he went underwater, and actually neither of their swimming caps cover all their hair ugh they’re both disasters, I love them

She’s BLUSHING and everything how does Kim not notice this??? He’s all like “oh that boy you like must be so dumb lol” well yeah Kim, yeah HE IS

Can I gush for a second about Ondine’s design?? They actually made her look like a swimmer, like with big shoulders and arms everything, and she’s fairly tall, and she’s got freckles everywhere (at least 40 on her face alone, I counted) and thick eyebrows and it all just makes her super GORGEOUS like yes can we get more character designs like these please?? (And KIM OH MY GOD LOOK AT YOU you’ve got it bad and you don’t even realize skdjfhksjdhkj)

Oh btw Ondine’s bracelet is 023 and Kim’s is 024, in case you wanted some useless information

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: we, as a fandom, are sleeping on the fact that Kim can stick his toe in his ear and that Ondine thinks it’s cute and this is actually a canon thing that is canon

He even passes her the notebook with his feet?? Sometimes I wonder what she sees in him but then I remember I want to adopt him so like, there must be something

Reason #3274598347 why Kimdine are a great couple: they really must trust each other a hell of a lot considering they literally have a game where they spill their secrets to each other, like, they’re already close friends and know so much about each other and oh okay I may be using this rewatching post to just gush about my fav underrated canon otp oops

He still likes Chloé at this point? Really?? Really??? (And he’s just gonna casually leave the pool before knowing for sure that the animal attack is over? I guess he just expects to be able to outrun those panthers huh)

SHE EVEN DREW HEARTS ON IT AND EVERYTHING, THAT’S SO ADORABLE??? KIM PLEASE NOTICE HER OKAY I WILL PERFORM THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY MYSELF

In the English dub at this point he literally calls her a “little mermaid”, huh maybe that Pocahontas icon in the corner isn’t totally irrelevant after all (also he implies this is nowhere near the first time Ondine has tried to confess her feelings, so basically Kim can join Adrien in the “she’s just a friend” club)

RENA’S BAAAAAAACK AHHH I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE HER AGAIN, ALYA GETS TO BE A HERO AGAIN AND I’M SO PROUD

That eyeliner

Grumpy Chat gives me life okay, it’s so funny to me for some reason

Uh... it’s not just me who thinks Rena looks really, really pale, is it?

Alya just straight-up flirts with Ladybug, she’s not even being subtle

WHEN ONDINE CRIES I CRY

The lifeguard doesn’t even wait a second when Syren turns up, he just starts running, what a mood

MARKOV IS BACK!!! MY LIL ROBOT BABY!!! And Max too, I’m always glad to see him

I genuinely want to watch Mecha Monkey vs Cyber Shark 3 though

Kim’s hair really Did That

Question: did Markov need a ticket?

Look at Kim in the background being sad that Chloé didn’t show up omg

Tfw the guy you like is so oblivious that you cry enough to flood an actual city

WHY ARE ALL KWAMIS ALWAYS SO ADORABLE *flips table*

I’m actually really proud of Marinette, she’s been put into such a tough situation where she wants to tell Chat Noir the truth but isn’t allowed, and she’s trying to do something to change that because she trusts him and understands his frustration

Mmmmm cronchy

This lil elephant decor got me thinking, how cool would an elephant miraculous be?

This poor boy is just sitting alone being emo when he’s attacked by the floods

HNSDFJSHDNFJSHDF I’M NOT OVER THIS

I’m not Plagg or anything but that stuff genuinely sounds really good okay

My little brother’s reaction to Plagg hyperventilating into a sock was “big mood” and honestly? Tea

CLASSMATES!!! Nino getting a slight amount of screentime!! Good stuff

What’s Max up to? “Psst Markov, do you think Kim will ever love me?” He looks sad okay I wanna give him a hug

Ah yes, my favourite companies, “Cinema Productions” and “Film Studio”

Alya clinging onto Nino!!!

An interesting thing is that while Syren is one of the nicest (if not THE nicest) akuma villains, I’m pretty sure she has the highest death toll by far. Tidal waves and mass flash-flooding in a major city?? Thousands and thousands of people have gotta be dead and you know it, like imagine if she’d accidentally killed Kim too, that would have been awkward

Marinette and Alya being heroes and making sure everyone got out okay omg, they’re heroes even without the mask

There really are not many survivors up on these rooftops, are there...

Kim is just on another level of Iconic entirely??? Paris is flooded with his future bae’s tears and he puts on a swimming cap and goggles (which he doesn’t use) and immediately leaps into the water, and then tells Markov (who is a tiny robot and allergic to water) to learn to swim like a frog, what even goes through his brain

THEIR FACES AKJFHKSDJHFSKJDHKG

*dun dun dun dun dun dun DUN DUN DUN DUN*

“KIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!!” Here is the mandatory Kimax part of the rewatching post -- Max is so worried for Kim??? He’s the first one to react and the only one to like, properly react??? Ugh my multishipper heart

The fact that Alix went to look means either she does at least slightly care about Kim, or she’s just super hyped to watch him drown, and I’m not sure which is funnier tbh she’s so fake though unlike Alya she just stands there not even trying to look

Me trying to row anything, ever

Alix has one single line in the entire episode and as usual, it’s the BEST line

*physically restrains myself from making a Shape of Water reference because it’s been done so many times by now*

My small brother laughs a lot at this scene because he says it reminds him of the time Chat Noir put a bowl on Prince Ali’s head and now I can’t unsee it

This hurts me in my soul okay, she wants to tell him but she caaaaaan’t

Huh, Fu managed to get a lot of stuff up on the roof with him, how’d he have time for that?

Lemme just cover my nonexistent ears for a sec

The best thing about this scene is that all the jokes Marinette tells aren’t even funny, I’m honestly cackling with laughter

AQUATIKKI. AQUATIC. I ONLY JUST GOT THAT OMG

Also?? These new costumes??? I love them holy moly

Fu has cobra venom... bro... listen I researched that stuff for a certain fic and uh you don’t want that stuff lying around, trust me, it is NOT A PLEASANT WAY TO GO

I know my first reaction to this should not be laughter, but it’s just so funny seeing Adrien being bratty for once okay this is g r e a t, ah yes Paris being FLOODED and UNDER ATTACK is a very good time to take off your ring

Heartfelt Plagg!!! I love him

So uh... if Kim is Syren’s prince... does that make him... Prince Kim... AHEM ANYWAYS that throne she made for him is so cute and I can’t believe he doesn’t even care that he got kidnapped by an akuma villain ‘cause hey, it’s a hot shredded mermaid therefore Kim’s a scalie and it’s CANON

So he’s all like “I’ve never seen a siren at the pool before??” which means that 1. He doesn’t realize she’s an akuma villain, he just genuinely thinks she’s a siren who actually lives in Paris, and 2. he knows what a siren is and doesn’t put 2+2 together that this particular siren has chosen him as prey and is luring him into staying underwater with her forever

I legit think about this scene every single day. The writers were probably like “okay so we need a mermaid episode, which kid in the class would be most likely to be seduced by a m-- KIM. IT WOULD BE KIM.” He’s just realized this freckly fish is Ondine and that she’s in love with him and just... hhhh I have a lot of feels it’s like 1am okay

He wants to be a merman so that he can swim fast, that’s so Kim of him I’m in tears omg, Syren doesn’t even care she’s just being a creepy fish with 100 freckles on her face (I counted) tempting him into staying with her at whatever cost

Asjdhskdjhfksjd he KNOWS she’s an akuma villain and still wants to kiss her?? Well to be fair Ondine’s evil yandere mersona is very pretty and Kim never really uses his brain for thinking, so... yeah

“Okay so I want to kiss u but I also wanna watch this movie DO U SEE MY DILEMMA” I love his reasoning so much

My exact reaction on seeing Ladybug’s new outfit

Look how happy she is to see Chatfish in his new costume!! Bless them both tbh, I’m a lil sad we didn’t get to see Aqua-Plagg though, how amazing would that have been

Kim geeking out over their costumes is not only such a mood but also it’s adorable and oh shoot I ship him with Ladybug too, I have too many Kim ships I swear

HE LOOKS SO SAD WHEN HE’S TALKING ABOUT HOW ONDINE GOT AKUMATIZED?? I’m like 99% sure at this point he’s realized he likes her too and probably feels so bad about unknowingly causing her to be upset enough to get akumatized omg my HEART okay I should stop endlessly gushing over Kimdine now shouldn’t I

“You wanna know my secret???” Okay wait, was he... was he about to stick his toe in his ear in front of Ladybug

Oooh do French numberplates actually do this thing? like, have numbers on top of each other like that? That’s pretty interesting

I work at a doctor’s surgery and I can tell you now, even Master Fu’s handwriting is more legible than half the stuff I have to decipher written by those darn doctors

ERBAL EDARIUM

I wonder what would happen if Tom actually ate one of those

You gotta love how unsubtle that Frozer foreshadowing is

For the first time in the episode, she’s actually wearing her goggles!

The fact that he asks her out?? Using their secrets game?? Is just so sweet?? They just care about each other so much look at them?? Ugh just get married already you freaking scalie disaster jocks

I know Nathalie’s sorting out a schedule but it kiiiinda looks like she’s playing Tetris lol

UHHH HEY MASTER FU?? QUICK QUESTION, WHAT DID YOU DO TO ADRIEN’S CHINESE TUTOR?? HE’S NOT... SLEEPING WITH THE FISHES... IS HE?

YEAH ME TOO ADRIKINS, I’M HELLA SUSPISH

On the one hand Gabe yelling at Nooroo makes me want to punch him, but on the other hand he’s literally asking outright how to become a mermaid

THERE’S AQUA-PLAGG!! YES!!! I know this end card was more cringey originally and they changed it, but it’s still cringey ngl

(And idk where else to put this but fun fact: there’s a Septimus Heap book called Syren and it’s rly good, it doesn’t have any fishybugs and chatfish in it but it’s good)

#kimdine is a WONDERFUL ship you guys are just cowards #miraculous ladybug #random stuff #rewatching ml #next up: frightningale

[daresmythe-blog]

for science.

WHO: Blaine Anderson @darethewarblerblaine & Sebastian Smythe @daresmythe

WHERE. Dalton Academy Housing Campus

WHEN. December 3, 2017 - Early Evening

WHAT. A series of texts exchanged after a long day of classes & studying

WARNINGS. Some dirty talk, nothing explicit.

( text message → petit copain ) i can't do it. i cannot write another admissions essay, i will physically die.

( text message → 'bastian ) Dying is not allowed!

( text message → petit copain ) How about slipping into prolonged comas?

( text message → 'bastian ) How about a good nights sleep from an amazing orgasm?

( text message → petit copain ) How do you do that?

( text message → 'bastian ) Do what?  ( text message → 'bastian ) Read your mind?

( text message → petit copain ) Yeah.That.

( text message → 'bastian ) Hmmm because I could definitely go for that too as it turns out? ( text message → 'bastian ) And I know when you get into panic mode this is a general good suggestion.

( text message → petit copain ) Blaine Devon.You are such a dreamboat, you know that?

( text message → 'bastian ) Me?

( text message → petit copain ) You.

( text message → 'bastian ) Says the guy even the het guys here would probably consider dating

( text message → petit copain ) You are ridiculous.

( text message → 'bastian ) I am ridiculously in love with you...yes. ( text message → 'bastian ) Ridiculously attracted to you.

( text message → petit copain ) How'd I get to be so lucky, huh?

( text message → 'bastian ) Hmmm I don’t know. ( text message → 'bastian ) You put in a lot of hard work for me. ( text message → 'bastian ) I don’t know how anyone can possibly top a secret admirer, mistletoe Christmas first kiss. ( text message → 'bastian ) Or bringing me back something from Paris because it made you realize how you really felt

( text message → petit copain ) Well, I was certainly an idiot back then, wasn't I?

( text message → 'bastian ) Or just in general loving me the way you do. ( text message → 'bastian ) No, not an idiot. ( text message → 'bastian ) Scared. ( text message → 'bastian ) Understandably so. ( text message → 'bastian ) I’m sorry I am and intense person

( text message → petit copain ) Are you now? I had no idea. ( text message → petit copain ) You are so adorable. ( text message → petit copain ) It seems like quite a long time ago, doesn't it?

( text message → 'bastian ) It does.   ( text message → 'bastian ) Two years ago ( text message → 'bastian ) That’s half of highschool Seb. ( text message → 'bastian ) And now we’re Seniors and struggling with admission essays ( text message → 'bastian ) And doing a lot more than kissing.  

( text message → petit copain ) Senior citizens is more like it.

( text message → 'bastian ) Well they say senior citizens are quite active now :p

( text message → petit copain ) When's the last time we skipped class to make out?  ( text message → petit copain ) Or stayed up ALL night? ( text message → petit copain ) We're old, mon petit copain. ( text message → petit copain ) face the facts we're ancient

( text message → 'bastian ) Ugh probably the beginning of the school year. ( text message → 'bastian ) But between senior ap classes, Warblers, student council, yearbook, and that “spirit” squad I thought would be a good idea to begin and organize and lead my senior year when is there time to skip. ( text message → 'bastian ) Also orgasms make me sleepy... you know this. ( text message → 'bastian ) We are responsible my love. ( text message → 'bastian ) Are you terribly bored with me?  With our life?

( text message → petit copain ) Freedom suddenly seems like more work than we previously imagined it would be. ( text message → petit copain ) However, being outside of this campus, with you.  ( text message → petit copain ) That's exciting.

( text message → 'bastian ) True ( text message → 'bastian ) How about as a reward for getting these essays done you get three random classes to skip and make out in the senior Warbler commons and one night of staying up all night

( text message → petit copain ) I would, but in all honesty I can't really afford to skip any classes before the break. ( text message → petit copain ) But we should make out very soon.

( text message → 'bastian ) After the break then. ( text message → 'bastian ) How about hmmm....now?

( text message → petit copain ) Now? Now would be highly appropriate.

( text message → 'bastian ) Good.   ( text message → 'bastian ) Hey Sebastian?   ( text message → 'bastian ) Keep your glasses on....

( text message → petit copain ) Blaine Warbler...you always did like the nerdier side of me.

( text message → 'bastian ) My Clark Kent Superman

( text message → petit copain ) You are such a geek.

( text message → 'bastian ) As long as you love me!

( text message → petit copain ) Hmm, only forever. That's as long as I'll love you for.

( text message → 'bastian ) Hmmm it’s been too long since I’ve just sat in your lap and kissed you.

( text message → petit copain ) It has. You feeling like a hearty make out session, my sweet?

( text message → 'bastian ) And yet forever doesn’t seem like long enough when it’s you and I. ( text message → 'bastian ) Mmmmm yes

( text message → petit copain ) I could really use some sweet kisses. ( text message → petit copain ) Lots of them.

( text message → 'bastian ) We can start sweet, slow even. ( text message → 'bastian ) Let me memorize every freckle on your beautiful face again

( text message → petit copain ) Yeah? Maybe a few nibbles under the mistletoe conveniently hung by the door.

( text message → 'bastian ) The way it looks like you have the Little Dipper on your left cheek ( text message → 'bastian ) Definitely we can start at the door ( text message → 'bastian ) A couple of chaste pecs to your lips as I stretch up on my top toes my very long legged boyfriend

( text message → petit copain ) How many times do you think we've kissed since that first time? ( text message → petit copain ) hundreds...thousands maybe...I still love kissing you, babe.

( text message → 'bastian ) Millions maybe billions. I will never tire of kissing you.

( text message → petit copain ) Good. Because there's millions and billions more to come, I'm sure. Unless my lips fall off in a freak accident.

( text message → 'bastian ) I’d still kiss you.

( text message → petit copain ) You, kissing my lipless face. How tragic. How romantic.

( text message → 'bastian ) Well there are a lot of other places I can kiss you too. ( text message → 'bastian ) But you are my love story babe.

( text message → petit copain ) We've got a pretty good one too.

( text message → 'bastian ) We do.   ( text message → 'bastian ) I’d say can’t wait to see how it ends but I don’t want to waste a moment or wish it away.

( text message → petit copain ) I know how it ends. You, as my husband. With a bunch of foul mouthed, rambunctious, curly haired babies.

( text message → 'bastian ) A bunch huh? ( text message → 'bastian ) Where did these foul mouthed rambunctious kids coming from?

( text message → petit copain ) A stork?

( text message → 'bastian ) Lol ( text message → 'bastian ) I mean why are they foul-mouthed and rambunctious?

( text message → petit copain ) I'm foul-mouthed, and you, my dear are rambunctious. ( text message → petit copain ) Very much so.

( text message → 'bastian ) I will not let you corrupt our children Sebastian Smythe.  :p ( text message → 'bastian ) I’m more enthusiastic than rambunctious

( text message → petit copain ) Oh really? Mr. Anderson-Smythe? ( text message → petit copain ) You are so enthusiastic. In all things. ( text message → petit copain ) It's very attractive.

( text message → 'bastian ) Yes Mr Anderson-Smythe.  Now make it up to me with hundreds of kisses.

( text message → petit copain ) Hmm...I guess I could.

( text message → 'bastian ) I can be enthusiastic about kissing

( text message → petit copain ) Will you be counting? ( text message → petit copain ) How many kisses does a hickey count as?

( text message → 'bastian ) Ten maybe ( text message → 'bastian ) We might have to scientifically test it.

( text message → petit copain ) Are hickey's allowed in traditional make out sessions?

( text message → 'bastian ) How many kisses make a hickey?   ( text message → 'bastian ) Definitely.

( text message → petit copain ) And how naked is acceptably naked for a make out session....scientifically.

( text message → 'bastian ) It is the hetero badge of honour ( text message → 'bastian ) Ohhh. That one is complicated. ( text message → 'bastian ) Location factors into this one i am afraid

( text message → petit copain ) And then there's the matter of groping. ( text message → petit copain ) What's the grope to kiss ratio? ( text message → petit copain ) this is very complicated business that we're going to have to experiment with for...hours...days possibly.for science of course

( text message → 'bastian ) Of course for science. ( text message → 'bastian ) Do you think this could count as extra credit? ( text message → 'bastian ) Be turned into our science fair project?

( text message → petit copain ) I guess that depends on the amount of groping ( text message → petit copain ) It would certainly be something we'd have to...document. For science, again.

( text message → 'bastian ) I think the correct groping ratio, in polite company is about 7 kisses to a grope.   ( text message → 'bastian ) A family friendly grope.

( text message → petit copain ) So a firm ass grab.

( text message → 'bastian ) In a more private locale 2 kisses to 1 grope or even 1:1 is strongly encouraged.  And family friendly doesn’t count.

( text message → petit copain ) Yes, well private locale would be more under the shirt nipple touching. ( text message → petit copain ) As the hets like to do. ( text message → petit copain ) Or, lesbians. I leave them out a lot, don't I?

( text message → 'bastian ) Which isn’t a complaint btw ( text message → 'bastian ) Lol when do we ever even see girls?

( text message → petit copain ) WHAT ARE GIRLS ( text message → petit copain ) That's a lie. It'd be...nice to have a daughter one day maybe. Don't you think?

( text message → 'bastian ) Private locale should include dick touching.  Because it’s gay. ( text message → 'bastian ) Yes. And name her after your mother. ( text message → 'bastian ) You and your Dad will have to help her live up to her namesake.

( text message → petit copain ) You had me at dick touching. ( text message → petit copain ) I'm lying, you literally had me when you walked in the room. ( text message → petit copain ) How gay is that. ( text message → petit copain ) Celeste...God I wish she knew you. ( text message → petit copain ) You'd be one of her favorite people. ( text message → petit copain ) She would just...go crazy about you

( text message → 'bastian ) The gayest.   ( text message → 'bastian ) Really Sebastian. ( text message → 'bastian ) Luckily I’m also gay.

( text message → petit copain ) Glad to know I still hold my title as the gayest gay.

( text message → 'bastian ) I wish I’d known her. ( text message → 'bastian ) I wish I could thank her for you.

( text message → petit copain ) I'll tell her the next time I talk to her.

( text message → 'bastian ) To tell her how much I love her son; how happy he makes me... and how I want to spend my life making him as happy.

( text message → petit copain ) I think she's...I don't know...here somehow. ( text message → petit copain ) She sees us.I know it's not rational.

( text message → 'bastian ) Hey shush

( text message → petit copain ) But someone like that, like her. I just can't find a way to believe she just stopped existing

( text message → 'bastian ) It’s ... I like that.

( text message → petit copain ) I love your very blind support of my crazy.

( text message → 'bastian ) And if that’s the case I hope you’re right and she likes me. ( text message → 'bastian ) Maybe... maybe she pushed us, or you? Hmm?

( text message → petit copain ) Something like that. ( text message → petit copain ) Did you think we'd get to here, Blaine? ( text message → petit copain ) Almost free of this place ( text message → petit copain ) Still together. ( text message → petit copain ) Always together

( text message → 'bastian ) Get to here ?   ( text message → 'bastian ) I wanted us to.   ( text message → 'bastian ) Almost free and still together?   ( text message → 'bastian ) I really wanted us to be. ( text message → 'bastian ) I know my jealousy gets the better of me sometimes....a lot of times... but I wanted us here. ( text message → 'bastian ) I want an Always for us.   ( text message → 'bastian ) No matter how hard.

( text message → petit copain ) I didn't expect to screw up quite as many times as I have...or maybe I did. But I never knew I could fight so hard for something ( text message → petit copain ) I didn't think I was strong

( text message → 'bastian ) We’ve both made mistakes babe but they only make us stronger. ( text message → 'bastian ) I never knew I could want something more than music tbh ( text message → 'bastian ) You’re so strong ‘Bas.   ( text message → 'bastian ) No one gave you a chance to be anything but.

( text message → petit copain ) I love you, Blaine Warbler.  ( text message → petit copain ) I may have learned your last name, but...you'll always be my Warbler.

( text message → 'bastian ) Lol. ( text message → 'bastian ) I love you.   ( text message → 'bastian ) And i am thrilled to always be your Warbler

( text message → petit copain ) Ugh, my Prince.

( text message → 'bastian ) Le Petit Prince

( text message → petit copain ) I struck gold with you baby

( text message → 'bastian ) I love you so much.

( text message → petit copain ) And I love you. So very much.

( text message → 'bastian ) What are your plans for Christmas this year?

( text message → petit copain ) don't know. Paris maybe

( text message → 'bastian ) When?

( text message → petit copain ) I don't know I've been dreading calling my father ( text message → petit copain ) So I haven't booked a flight or anything yet. I was thinking of maybe just not going anywhere

( text message → 'bastian ) Cooper wants my parents and I to come to LA. ( text message → 'bastian ) He’s working on a project.

( text message → petit copain ) That'll be nice, baby ( text message → petit copain ) I'll send you off with a hug and sarcastic comment for him

( text message → 'bastian ) I... want you to come with us.  If... you can.  If you want.

( text message → petit copain ) You want me to come to LA? ( text message → petit copain ) With your family?

( text message → 'bastian ) You’ve spent time with us at the holiday before.

( text message → petit copain ) I know, but...the whole break, with you? With your family? That's a lot, are you sure about it?

( text message → 'bastian ) Sebastian...

( text message → petit copain ) Well I'm just saying, baby

( text message → 'bastian ) We’ve been sharing a room and a bed every night for the last almost 4 months.

( text message → petit copain ) I know, I know that. ( text message → petit copain ) But this is, your parents. ( text message → petit copain ) Cooper. ( text message → petit copain ) Christmas.In LA

( text message → 'bastian ) I know. ( text message → 'bastian ) I did ask you.

( text message → petit copain ) Yes I want to ( text message → petit copain ) I hate leaving you for weeks at a time. ( text message → petit copain ) But it does freak me out a bit.

( text message → 'bastian ) Because? ( text message → 'bastian ) It’s my family?

( text message → petit copain ) Yeah. ( text message → petit copain ) I only have so many chances to prove myself. ( text message → petit copain ) I'm the future father of their grandchildren ( text message → petit copain ) it's a lot a pressure!

( text message → 'bastian ) So uhm....

( text message → petit copain ) Also...there's the matter of the name tattooed on my BODY ( text message → petit copain ) and LA is hot

( text message → 'bastian ) If I said I cleared this with my parents and Cooper before I said anything to you.   ( text message → 'bastian ) Would you be upset?

( text message → petit copain ) No.  ( text message → petit copain ) I would be relieved. ( text message → petit copain ) But also in a rush to buy some temporary tattoo cover up

( text message → 'bastian ) Have you looked at my phone recently babe?

( text message → petit copain ) No, why?

( text message → 'bastian ) Before you rush out and do anything you might want to look at my lock screen.

( text message → petit copain ) THEY KNOW? ( text message → petit copain ) Oh my god.  ( text message → petit copain ) They must hate me.

( text message → 'bastian ) No. ( text message → 'bastian ) I don’t think my mother would have replied “of course Sweetheart” if she hated you.

( text message → petit copain ) Well, maybe we should come up with a better story than, "We got in a huge fight and Sebastian's very logical response was to get my name tattooed on his skin permanently" ? ( text message → petit copain ) Something responsible and poetic ( text message → petit copain ) Like i would have died if he hadn't done it, it's a medical fact Sebastian physically saved my life by inking his skin ( text message → petit copain ) that's workable, right?

( text message → 'bastian ) ‘Bas.....Sweetheart.

( text message → petit copain ) I'm gonna bring my report card.

( text message → 'bastian ) Your moms tattoo is also viable on  my lock screen.   ( text message → 'bastian ) I said your tattoos are like my music.   ( text message → 'bastian ) A way to honor important people in your life.

( text message → petit copain ) Maybe a few letters of recommendation from my peers and teachers. ( text message → petit copain ) A lot of people don't see tattoos quite like that.

( text message → 'bastian ) It’s not exactly wrong though. ( text message → 'bastian ) It’s very true in the case of your mothers’.

( text message → petit copain ) My tattoos are...How I remind myself of what's important.Because I'm thick headed and I need a permanent mark on my skin some days to get through to myself. ( text message → petit copain ) My mother.  ( text message → petit copain ) You.  ( text message → petit copain ) Love above all else. ( text message → petit copain ) Things I never ever want to forget. ( text message → petit copain ) Things I WANT leaving scars on my body that are impossible to remove or hide

( text message → 'bastian ) Then if anyone in my family says anything you say just that.

( text message → petit copain ) I love you so much. ( text message → petit copain ) As impulsive as it was. I can't believe I waited so long to ink your name on my skin.

( text message → 'bastian ) Really?

( text message → petit copain ) Oh yeah. ( text message → petit copain ) My world. ( text message → petit copain ) You know how much I love you, don't you?

( text message → 'bastian ) So when should you have put it on?

( text message → petit copain ) I think you know, because you love me the same way. ( text message → petit copain ) Hmm...in paris, that first summer.

( text message → 'bastian ) Yes I know how much and yes I do love you the same ( text message → 'bastian ) That... might have been awkward....

( text message → petit copain ) Now THAT would be quite the story

( text message → 'bastian ) What how Hunter decked you when he discovered my name on your chest?

( text message → petit copain ) Yep. Worth it. I still think about Trent's reaction to it everyday.Warms the cold corners of my heart.

( text message → 'bastian ) I don’t know if I should be offended that my description doesn’t get top reaction.

( text message → petit copain ) I didn't say it wasn't top ( text message → petit copain ) But trent's was so comical.

( text message → 'bastian ) I know ...

( text message → petit copain ) Sometimes I feel bad for how much we probably tortured the guy. ( text message → petit copain ) Sometimes.

( text message → 'bastian ) He tried so hard to be a good roommate.  Although i much much prefer this year’s roommate.

( text message → petit copain ) He did put up with a lot of our shenanigans.

( text message → 'bastian ) He did but you also liked reminding him I was yours.

( text message → petit copain ) Constantly. But I did that with everyone.

( text message → 'bastian ) *do that

( text message → petit copain ) True. But I have...calmed a bit about it.

( text message → 'bastian ) You have but it’s no big secret who we are or that we are together. ( text message → 'bastian ) Guess we will see next year.

( text message → petit copain ) i did have to let the incoming freshmen know ( text message → petit copain ) oh next year...

( text message → 'bastian ) i think we'll probably both revisit that really jealous/possessive phase again... ( text message → 'bastian ) not that that phase didn't come without it's own...rewards

( text message → petit copain ) Lol ( text message → petit copain ) True

( text message → 'bastian ) Just remember I love you ( text message → 'bastian ) Even when cute baristas are flirting with you.

( text message → petit copain ) And I need the occasional kick in the ass.

( text message → 'bastian ) Or the occasional pin you up against the nearest flat surface and remind you are mine. ( text message → 'bastian ) That night.... I was so jealous.

( text message → petit copain ) I was so stupid.

( text message → 'bastian ) You were not stupid ( text message → 'bastian ) You like the attention , were used to it and not used to thinking about someone else

( text message → petit copain ) And you were patient, and understanding...most of the time

( text message → 'bastian ) Because you’re worth it ( text message → 'bastian ) We’re worth it

( text message → petit copain ) I truly hit the lottery with you, B. ( text message → petit copain ) You are so one in a million

( text message → 'bastian ) Only for you

( text message → petit copain ) Mine.

( text message → 'bastian ) Always and forever

( text message → petit copain ) I think this work on our scientific research should start really soon

#seblaine #seblaine rp #sebastian smythe rp #( thread. ) for science #( thread. ) 001

[evenstevensranked]

#52: Season 2, Episode 6 - “Broadcast Blues”

Ren enters a contest to become Cynthia Mills’ Junior Reporter. Louis and Twitty devise a plan that includes feeding Beans answers to any question you could think of through an earpiece — Making him seem like a boy genius. Ren falls for it and decides to use Beans for her audition tape story. Yeah, that doesn’t work out too well. Meanwhile, Donnie is tired of seeming dumb and rents a videotape called “Look Smart, Be Smart” - An instructional video on how to appear intelligent.  

This episode opens with two contrasting scenes. We see Ren neatly preparing to watch TV, which is interspersed with sped-up shots of Louis and Twitty putting on raincoats and pants like they’re preparing for a flood in Louis’ filthy room. They run downstairs and noisily join Ren on the couch. We find out that Cynthia Mills has become Ren’s new idol and she’s excited to watch her on the 6 o’clock news. That’s a little weird to me. I feel like Cynthia has always been their local news anchor. Out of nowhere, Ren is like “she’s amazing!!” But, eh. Let’s just go with it for the sake of the episode.

Louis and Twitty have a local news idol of their own that they’re excited to watch: Weatherman/“comedian” (I use that word very lightly) Zippy Winds. I'm gonna go ahead and be a wet blanket here, much like Ren in this scene, and say that Zippy is annoying as helllll. Louis and Twitty are acting like toddlers, and I can't help but cringe a bit. Like, Zippy literally seems like a character you'd find on a Playhouse Disney show. If I didn't know any better, I would swear he walked off the set of The Wiggles and right onto the Sacramento news. I know Louis and Twitty can be immature and it's great sometimes... but this always felt a little overkill to me.

Ren is me. Like........ what the heck. 

Ren tells Louis and Twitty that she’s going to submit an audition tape to become Cynthia’s Junior Reporter. They realize there’s a chance they could meet Zippy if she won. So, Louis makes her “promise on all that is holy” that she’ll introduce them. The only problem here is that Ren's audition tape is pretty weak. She films a sample news report on whether or not students at Lawrence find the wombat mascot offensive to wombats and other living creatures. She interviews Tawny and Tawny is like “Yes, I’d have to agree with that! If a wombat dressed up like a human and jumped around like a doofus, I’d be pretty insulted.” - Something tells me both Ren and Tawny would be Tumblr Social Justice Warriors if Even Stevens took place in 2017. Back then, they used to call Tawny an “Activist” lol, so probably.  

Tawny is also me. 

The subplot is introduced with Donnie sneakily watching a VHS tape called "Look Smart, Be Smart." He's apparently tired of being an airhead and wants to be respected for his brain. Good luck with that! This is definitely both my favorite, and objectively the best, Donnie subplot. Which is basically why I've ranked this episode a little higher than I originally thought I would. It's a hysterical side story! The tape comes with a little box of materials. One of the first steps to appearing intelligent is to put on a pair of glasses from the box. Naturally. Donnie's adorable here, though. You can tell that he really feels like the guy on the tape believes in him, lol.

Louis sees the draft of Ren’s audition video and thinks it’s super lame. They’ll never get to meet Zippy if she submits something like that. There’s a bit where Twitty says she should do it on bacon because it’s “crispy, salty and nature’s candy.” Again, they were ahead of the game with the bacon fixation.

Beans comes over and Donnie decides to start trying out some of the new smart tips he’s learned from the tape. Beans asks if he smells bacon, and if I were Beans I’d probably think Donnie spiraled into an existential crisis over the simple question. He thinks back to what the tape taught him: 

“When asked a question, don’t blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. Take a moment to ponder, and stroke your chin. Remember! For all anyone knows, you might be a bonafide genius!”

Beans is standing there all confused and just says “What part of bacon don’t you understand?” That’s pretty great, I must say. Donnie responds “Hey! For all you know I might be a bonafide genius!” Bless his soul.

This episode is actually only Beans’ second appearance ever and the first time he shows interest in bacon, btw! He goes into the kitchen and tries to steal some from Louis and Twitty, who are still brainstorming a better sample news story for Ren. Louis tells Beans to get out because he and Twitty are big-boy thinking. So, Beans repeats what Donnie said (The “bonafide genius" line) and Louis immediately gets an idea.  

He and Twitty end up feeding information to Beans through an earpiece hidden in a hat. They send him into Ren’s room and have him start spouting information. They quickly trick Ren into thinking he’s a genius, and she right away decides to use Beans for her audition. She records a tape of her asking him super obscure questions, which he miraculously knows the answers to. Much to Louis and Twitty’s excitement, she ends up getting the gig! The only issue is that the station wants her to do the Beans story live on air… and Beans ain’t no real-life genius. Problem.

Louis and Twitty are freaking out trying to find a way around this. Twitty thinks they should just get it over with and tell Ren, he says that she’d understand. Then Louis envisions Ren yanking his ear like an elastic out of anger after hearing the truth. Just another weird gag. (You know I’m not a fan of those.) In the end, they just decide to continue feeding Beans answers and hope for the best. Side note: Louis is extra shouty in this episode for some reason. I have no idea why, but it’s just a little much.

I really just... can’t get on board with this stuff, man. 

Donnie starts taking the advice from the “Look Smart, Be Smart” tape very seriously in everyday life. But, it unfortunately only makes him seem even dumber than before. It’s WONDERFUL! And results in what is definitely my favorite scene of the episode. Me explaining or quoting it won’t do it justice, so I’m just gonna embed it here for you to watch:

Once they get to the news station, Louis and Twitty start freaking out a bit. They have to keep coming up with excuses for Beans and his un-genius-like weirdness. (“He needs his hat to keep his brain warm!” “Bacon is his brain food!”) But their biggest worry is finding a phone jack to connect their laptop to the internet so they can feed Beans information. I know I’ve already said a few times now that technology is really the only thing that’s dated on this show, but... It’s true, lol. Pretty crazy that this was the situation 14 years ago. Today, we all have the internet at our fingertips with data/wifi. They could just throw a Bluetooth earpiece on Beans and feed him everything from their smartphones/a phone call, lol. Dang. Maybe we really are ~futuristic~ today after all.

Donnie decides to try out his smart skills again on Cynthia Mills this time! This is great. It’s clear as day that Cynthia has watched the tape, too. She’s wearing the same glasses, using “cornucopia” in a sentence, and repeating questions back at Donnie. They’re both so confused by each other. It’s a fun bit and another reason why this Donnie plot is so strong. This scene also serves as the first step to #exposing Cynthia as a phony. Ren walks over to Donnie saying “Isn’t Cynthia brilliant?!” and Donnie warns her that she might not be all that Ren thinks she is.

Beans ends up accidentally telling Ren what’s up. She confronts Louis and Twitty and is pretty furious. She comes waltzing into the control room where they’re hiding and they FREAK OUT. It’s actually pretty funny. There is a fabulous Louis Scream here and Shia does that thing where he puts the neck of his shirt over his head. I freaking love it when he does that. I die every time. 

The scene moved pretty fast. This is the best screen cap I could get. You get the idea, lol. 

Ren says that the point of being a reporter is to tell the truth, so she has an obligation to tell Cynthia what’s really going on. She tries to tell her, but Cynthia cuts her off before she gets a chance to tell the truth. Turns out, Cynthia breaks the news to Ren that she has decided to take over the Beans story to further her career. She’s pretty rude about it. It’s super slimy. Ugh. Sooo, even though Ren was initially po’d at Louis and Twitty for their elaborate scam, she decides to kick back, relax and let the story go to air so that Cynthia looks like a darn fool.

This part is pretty great. Cynthia is so arrogant and excited to have Beans on the show. She introduces him by saying “Socrates, Galileo, Einstein... Bernard Aranguren. Possibly the four greatest minds to have graced this planet.” Incredible. Bean’s immediately follows it up with:

Beans: “Is this my water cup?” Cynthia: “Uh… Yes, it is.” Beans: “Mmmmm! I like water.”  

Basically, the story goes down in flames. Beans knows literally nothing and starts climbing all over the desk. Cynthia is distraught. It’s satisfying.

The gang watching Cynthia fail miserably. Same. 

The episode ends with Louis and Twitty “meeting” Zippy. He just opens his dressing room door and sprays them with water. They’re fine with that, though. So.

Yeaaaah. Idk, man. I just don’t particularly care for this one too much. Like, I said though.. I LOVEEEE the Donnie plot -- specifically the scene I included here -- and wanted to show him some love. But, as you can see.. that takes up about 1 minute out of 22. So, not exactly enough to save the whole thing for me. At first, I thought it might just be my dislike for Beans that’s clouding my judgment here, but I don’t think so. As I mentioned, Louis and Twitty are next level goofy and it’s yet another episode where Louis is a little selfish. I have to keep reminding myself what I’m basing my rankings on. And of course, one of them is laughs. I, unfortunately, found myself... not laughing... all that much here. :( Well, except for the parts I highlighted. 

Chime in via disqus below as usual! :D

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