#my teenage friend group jokingly laugh at me for buying stacks of books in bulk and reading a book a week

[just-rogi]

I’m realizing how good my friends are- not just as friends- but how they are all just genuinely wonderful people who make the world better, idk I’ve been going through some early 20’s growing pains recently and it’s just hitting the me that I have people who value me and actually WANT me in their life, and make me feel like I must be doing something right

#I’m slowly and painfully realizing I’m outgrowing my old friends #no bad blood or anything #but I’m realizing how well I’m treated by some of the friends I’ve made in my adult life and realizing #damn #my old friends roll their eyes when I talk about race #and two weeks ago I stayed up until THREE am talking to my friend in our pjamas about how it feels to constantly have to prove yourself #to white people that you are white enough to be taken seriously #and then jarringly moving to a workplace of all people of color and having to constantly prove that you actually are mixed race #and should be taken seriously #and how that leads to us often overcompensating in proving ourselves and just feeling pulled in multiple directions #it was so healing #my teenage friend group jokingly laugh at me for buying stacks of books in bulk and reading a book a week #I mentioned loving Circe to my friends #and TWO of them bought the book on the spot and read it in a week #and the third borrowed my copy and it felt SO good to LOAN somone a book #and feel confident that we are friends and I will see them soon and they will be able to give it back the next time they see me #because there will be a next time and they like having me in their life #I’ve known these guys for three years and it’s just been hitting me in the past few months how much I love them #and it’s shitty to compare them to some of my old friends I’m outgrowing but the spark just isn’t there #and they don’t make any effort to show me they care #and it’s not bad no one is mean #but these guys just keep blowing me away with how easy friendship is #they text when they think about me and even showed up randomly at a lesbian bar because I mentioned I was going #and WANTED to see me #I’m just so lucky #I remember somone was questioning my athority on a topic because I was young and I don’t even remember how it came up but I heard my friends #recounting the story after and one of them confidently said without thinking ‘yeah they were being like so wierd Rogi is our friend #idk idk I’m gushing I am just going through a lot of life changes and also I’m 21 so I’m kinda clicking into the stride of my adult life #amd understanding who I am… and I just feel so lucky to have friends that value me and who make friendship feel so effortless