#nah this is how it went for me too

[citrine-elephant]

leon s kennedy would definitely be the kind of guy to physically overexert himself and take on as much of the labor he can because he feels bad if he doesn't. even if it's fair share, he's gotta jump in and help out.

dead tired, exhausted. who cares if he's being taken advantage of and used because the other party(s) know he'll do whatever he's asked. he feels bad. he feels like he isn't doing enough.

#resident evil #hi lol this is a vent #capitalism culture is making you feel like you're never doing enough #and you know it's bullshit but! #tfw toxic masculinity pressures too #and your boss thinks that you should take on all of the physical labor because you're a man who cares if you physically cannot #and retaliates by punishing you with more and more bcuz you went to hr and politely asked if they could convince her to chill tf out- #vent in the tags #but i mean this seems canon to leon bcuz he'll sacrifice himself for anyone #fuck that #brother! #gotta force yourself to stop and think 'fuck them if they get mad i've done enough' #imagining leon being so weak he's stumbling and shaking #but then goes 'let me help with that' before passing out #leon's bitch ass is a people pleaser and he's convinced he's not! #'nah bro i just wanna help people weewoo imma cop' #nah bro ur into being stepped on! #where am i going with this idk #using my suffering to push on leon #no i dont go that far i just. feel bad if im not constantly- #anyway when i finally spoke up i started sobbin while hiding under some boxes lol #didnt realize how packed that bottle was!

[lesbianshepard]

please tell me you got through to that redditor i need a follow up

sorry to disappoint. there's only so much i could tolerate going in circles with me going "that's not a normal way to feel" and them going "you're only saying that because you're a degenerate" before i went "hey, I'm not going to do this anymore. You've got issues, and you're clearly an unhappy person who won't confront that. Stop telling people to kill themselves online and try therapy, or at least get a healthy hobby." and he stopped replying.

#we did have a...weirdly civil discussion about antidepressants? #like he stopped trying to insult me and asked how they make you feel and if they really turn you into a confused zombie #and i was like nah you gotta get the right dosage and type #and he was like oh. i didnt know there were different types #and then after some back and forth he went back to #'only weak people would ask a doctor for those real men would deal with things themselves #and i was like. alright. and then ended it. #at one point he tried to insult me for taking too long to reply #and i was like dude im watching a movie checking reddit dms is low on my priorities #and he asked if it was cuties which was an insult #but then suggested another movie #and it was like. a normal movie? #which threw me off

[caernua]

if i beat my gym anxiety this year i will literally be unstoppable

#all i can do is classes bc i'm terrified to go alone and i'm in a new gym bc i went back to my hometown :((( #i wanna just go run on the threadmill tomorrow and i'm still shitting myself lmao #and weightlifting?? nah i'm terrified. i wanna do it so bad but i'm genuinely scared shitless #as soon as i see those jacked up dudes in the weights section i wanna run for the hills #yes i know no one cares. yes i know there are tutorials. i'm still too scared #it's frustrating bc i just feel that there's a straight #male inside me with anger issues whose only fixture is lifting weights jfkdghkdf #AND I WANNA UNLEASH HIM!! + i haven't been the same since megan said 'when i'm in the gym thinking of all the bitches that i'm shitting on' #i even had a pt at one time for a bit but she made me do mostly cardio so i don't know how tf to use any machines 😭 #imma start hairstyling classes soon and i just wanna have a lil routine go to the gym in the morning do my classes and that's it #.txt

[volk-swag-genitalia]

the prophetic dreams are getting much more concerning

#not a joke #so like im pretty damn convinced i have prophetic dreams #except one problem is they're not very straightforward #and i never really realize they are prophetic until its too late #i had a dream my lil brother attended the former school i used to study at and something bad would happen to him #i brushed it off at the time because i thought there would be no way in hell my parents would send me off to this school #years later they enrolled him in. #and well its an average school experience for him. some classmates are absolute jerks tho. but the main event in that dream didnt happen ye #because the main event happens at a school camping event. now im worried my brother would die at said camping event. but hey no camping yet #another instance was when i dreamt we went up the escalator up the mall we used to always go to #it was late into the pandemic at the time so i thought ''no way would we end up going'' but then i woke up to my mom announcing that #you guessed it #we were going to that mall #anyways those are a few instances. #right nowi had a dream i went out to lunch after college and snapped at a man for calling me ''ma'am'' because i mentally could not take it #and im scared now #with how i've been mentally. something like that WOULD happen. poor guy #but also i had a beard. why would he do that? #and the dream was also veryyy vivid. #granted not all of my dreams come true. #and i hope it STAYS that way #anyways aside from that i've also had recurring dreams of the ocean levels rising so bad that my home town ended up flooding and dissapeari #well i havent been having the flood dreams lately #that dream had two outcomes. in both outcomes people have adpated and started building a city that could take in the new environment #in one outcome they managed to build an underwater city to regain what was left of the cities that got submerged. people actually helped ea #h other and people were thriving. #in another outcome #society just ended up the same. all of the problems we had now carried on & we were eaten by the sun. except the sun was an eldritch being? #ok for sure that sun thing wont come true. or would it??? #nah. i mean according to what we know of the sun. nah.

[paperlovesadness]

I do believe that checking setlists has now become very unhealthy for me.

This whole experience really went: 🎢 🔥

Because just look:

just keep looking

(is this actually real??? Is setlists dot fm messing with me?)

Like... What is this??? NOT ONLY TBHC BACK

NOT ONLY an entire setlist of their songs

EDIT TIME

[well I stand corrected because no covers. Just actual recordings being played] [but these are still interesting and exciting choices tbh]

but also TWO BONUS COVERS?

Barry White and THE BEATLES???? ExCUSE ME? [btw, do we have any recordings of that? 😩]

... but oh - you thought we could just have a nice moment of full-on-envy towards these lucky Indonesian folks? Nahhhh

Because WHERE - I am asking - IS ONE POINT PERSPECTIVE???????

Why. Why is my only question. Just why is it the TBHC songs that have to suffer most for that amount of AM songs to be in there ❤️‍🩹

(I suppose I still will take the win of TBHC not completely disappearing. WE'VE GOT HOPE TO HOLD ONTO)

#bye bye #I'm off to learn witchcraft #I can't trust Alex #I need to cast a spell and put my own version of a setlist in his head before the summer begins #this man seems like he saw my top picks of songs I want to hear live and just went: #'nah. she can't just have it all' #yes. thats what happened. this is personal. Alex Turners choices revolve around me for sure #and I compromised! #I understood I can't get Schwartz and Ultracheese and all these songs he put his whole soul into and now can't bare to sing live #(because too much vulnerability probably. or something of the sort) #I chose from the list he made himself! and he's still toying with it 🥺 #(ah. me and my first world problems innit) #well ANYWAY #I don't even know how to feel about these setlists anymore #Arctic Monkeys #more like Arctic Messing-with-my-head-Keys #setlist #// #my posts #my very unhinged posts

[ziracona]

Okay actually. The fact that in Inquistion, the whole game they treat Anders like shit at the drop of a hat. The most positive thing even a Hawke set to Condoned/Loves/Alive can say is ‘he’s complicated. Not a hero or a monster, or maybe both hero and a monster.’ EVERY time he’s brought up, it’s; “Oh, he’s evil. He ruined things. He went too far. He protested peacefully for 7+ years after a lifetime of experiencing oppression and minority violence, but then he pulled the switch on a trolley problem and blew up a building with 40 people in it and caused insane fighting in Kirkwall to instigate war before the Right of Annulment was in effect, while there were enough Mages to have a chance, and succeeded and started a revolt across southern Thedas that gives Mages their first shot at freedom in 600+ years. (An act which he immediately submitted himself to judgement and death if asked for, with no resistance, because he took the innocents among his casualties seriously even when it was obviously for the greater good). But it’s evil, because he combatted oppression with force.”

But then you get a character with the most Mr. Intellectual Dudebro ‘other people aren’t human to me because they’re not enough like me’ take most of the game apparently, whose society is suddenly retconned to be a European slaver intellectual opulent society, deciding he’s going to nuke the whole planet and his people’s current way of life (based on indigenous cultures) and commit genocide against every other race so his best most perfect race can go back to how it was in High Society times, which after ONE YEAR of being awake he can somehow tell??? Is worth it??? And no other society is good enough? ONE. YEAR. No alternatives it’s supremacy genocide or nothing. But he’s sad about the fact he’s doing it so clearly it’s sympathetic and in fact the whole bullshit is framed as so sympathetic you can choose to spend the ENTIRE NEXT GAME trying to bring him back to the light???

Like they really said “a minority enacting hard violence against oppressors and causing some collateral damage as a last resort to combat endless institutional oppression after years of peaceful protesting is unforgivable and vile, but some guy who thinks he knows more than anyone else on the planet after seeing vague aspects of a few other cultures for 1-3 years deciding to obliterate every other race in existence for his own race to achieve its Opulent Ruling Race Supremacy status again immediately is a sympathetic pull just going too far” I am going to EAT someone

#to be clear this isn’t a Solas hate post it’s not hhs fault the devs are fucking. insane. he was easily one of the best DA characters and #they massacred my boy totally ooc for no fucking reason and I can’t stand them for that too. but the fucking. GALL #dragon age inquisition #DAI spoilers #they really went ‘Anders was popular let’s reproduce that’ and understood NONE of what made people like their own guy. it’s like watching #ATLA cartoon yo ATLA live action. not only did you not get it you actively ruined everything people liked #they wanted him to be Anders 2 so bad and he will NVER be Anders. I could have made SUCH a good Solas plot!!! I could have done him justice? #but they went ‘nah his whole personality and actions were an act he’s a picture of the devs’ own horrible ethics now have fun : )’ and I #refuse to acknowledge that shit I’m taking my professor with me and leaving this is bullshit Solas didn’t deserve that and tbh I can’t even #imagine how the series could possibly recover after the way DAI ended

[dollfairy]

the polyamory subreddit is one part facebook-minions-mom-level poly positivity memes and one part advice posts from newbies opening their relationship (full of red flags)

but then every once in a while someone who had a bad experience (or was mistreated by a poly person) makes a vent post about how poly is toxic and poly love isn't real and it leads to this like...influx of smug posts sharing selfies of people's polycule and weird braggy vibe aside, I feel guilty bc 99% of these selfies I look at and feel

#like admittedly my intro to poly was through a very hot couple i already knew #but since then i've met way more people who were hot and enm rather than poly #and even in enm spaces where there are hotties its not the majority #like this is going to sound so conceited but i feel like its not just self confidence to say i know im attractive #and so is my nesting partner #and every time there was a lull in the structured enm/poly event we went to we literally had a small line of people #waiting to talk to us and exchange numbers lol #i've really had to learn how to say 'nah im not into you' bc theres so many ugly dudes confidently approaching me rl #i'm way too saturated and my time too limited for me to go on even first dates w people im not attracted to #even if they have the best personality in the world

[joski-town]

My toxic trait is only taking kibbles on a walk where I know I will use the whistle when I'm the one who made the rule that whistle = chicken.

#WHY AM I LIKE THIS #dogblr #dog training #really regretted that decision whensbe blew me off for a prey #she came back relatively quickly (like two minutes maybe?) but i only had kibbles to give her 😑 #how to ruin your own training by yours truly #i literally THOUGHT about taking chicken too. and went ''nah'' #hitting my past self with a stick as i write this

[smolalienbee]

me at work: im a bitch ass boss and a capable adult being

me at the landlords: im just a baby. googoogaga

#bee stuff #wild how i can do a lot of responsible adult shit at work without being too anxious anymore #but talking to the landlords about even the basic of stuff has me shaking crying throwing up #i went to another continent and that was fine #but going to the landlords? nah

[nebulouscoffee]

Thinking about Her... (my Dax fic I haven't updated since last July which I really need to bring back from the war)

#I have about 30k more words written!! but later last year I just came down with a terminal case of The Shies that never really went away #another thing is part of me only wants to post ch3 after I'm completely finished with ch5 (the ending) #but also I low key think I've written myself into a metaphysical corner lmao it's ezri's zhian'tara and JADZIA IS HOSTING JADZIA AND #WHATEVER I WRITE ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH TO DO THAT JUSTICE IT'S TOO PSYCHOLOGICALLY COMPLEX FOR MY DUMB ASS TO RECKON WITH!! #(<- that's the excuse I keep telling myself but really it's just The Shies lol) #honestly it's really funny I'll be like ''well the central questions are 'what exactly constitutes a soul' and 'who are we when we #cannot be the sum of our memories' and 'are two people who share the same memories as distinct as any two people or nah' #and I just feel like I haven't come up with satisfying enough answers by the end yknow!'' *bonks myself on the head* #GIRL WHAT??? philosophers have been asking these questions since the dawn of time and still haven't arrived at satisfying answers; how or #when or WHY exactly do you hope to do so in your star trek fanfiction??? lmao?? #my fics

[redxriiot]

Lovin’ the idea of Kiri and electroreception again

#//Looking over old hcs #//And I love this so so much #//Let's see new ones... #;mun has spoken #hc #//Mans most definitely was the kinda kid who drew fucken nightmare fuel art #//Bc he picked up on electrosignals from others and he made up stories about how haunted they were based on intensity #//And imagined the kindsa creatures that would manifest based on the signals. Got v creative; he did #//Not that he KNEW what it was for the longest time; not until he learned about sharks and went !!! Thas ME. I do that! #//Nah; mans just noticed smth weird; his friend didn't see/sense it; concluded he must be psychic #//Both the teacher and his mom were Not Amused whenever he explained why he drew the things he drew #//Fast forward; the people he can most pick out from anywhere; even out of water are Midoriya and Kaminari #//Kami obvi bc he is practically a walking electrical current #//Which is good; bc Kiri liks having eyes on him All The Time; and like this; he can always know where he is and what he do without looking #//Midoriya; unwittingly bc if the vestiges and OFA #//He doesn't know what's up; he just knows Midoriya screams MASSIVE energy and danger #//Esp when OFA is thrumming and being used in more and more capacity #//But he loves it #//Loves it LOTS when Deku uses OFA near him and makes his survival instincts go haywire #//Can get a sensory overload if he sticks too close and is with him for too long; but he likes that too #//Tsu is easier to distinguish than most others too #//She more water than most of them #//But yeah; Kami and Deku? He can track 'em down p easy #//Though it might be a little trickier in a super busy super urban area or if there's a massive generator of electricity nearby #//Too much of that muddles him up #//Which is why he tends to get headaches a lot; both bc Quirk and bc of that sense #//He can pick people out if he focuses/zeroes in on who he wants to find but the incessant buzzing of man-made electricity is Oof #//It made him real irritable as a child and he got used to it over time; but boy oh boy he Does Not like when that threshold is pushed #//Save when Midoriya does it; he'll happily indulge simply bc it him. And he gets too starry eyed to care he's being overwhelmed #//& Kami; but he might wince through his ultmoves. though hardening does take the edge off; in combat is fine

[crj-200]

nightmare low blood sugar situation neutralized

#woke up shaky and low but i didn't have any snacks in the room #so i had to get dressed to go to the lobby to buy some snacks #and i realized i haven't worn a medical alert thing in months because my ex's info was on it #so i grabbed my emergency meds and carried them in my hand while i went downstairs #and as i'm walking down stairs my phone also fucking dies so im like. if i go down rn all that emergency contact info is unavailable #so i'm starting to get more nervous and also. low bg makes you irrational #when i got to the counter they were busy checking a flt crew in #so i was like 'ok they'll come over to me next there's two people working rn right' and. nah #both of them chatted with the pilots for a bit and then while the one went to check the next person in the other went to get something #so i'm standing there for like 5 mins feeling like im gonna pass out but i don't say anything (or just grab a soda and pay after) #because i was like 'oh they don't know i'm having a medical problem rn... i don't wanna be rude' #eventually one of them finished up and checked me out #and THEN a guy at the bar started asking me about my pump and again. didn't want to be rude #so i stood there and answered his questions about how type 1 works for a bit #and when i was explaining i need to take insulin for carbs unless im low he looks at my candy and he's like #'ooh are you having a low rn?' YES #and then the counter lady was like 'youre all checked out... you can go...?' #because i was standing there too long. #im in my room now and slammed most of a coke and a cookie lmao #it's so funny (😐) to me that i have a condition that requires me to make trips to the snack bar sometimes or i might just fucking die?? #there was no punchline to this story it was just agonizingly long and annoying. #anyways. #nessie posting #diabetes tag

[420fps]

anyway do any of us wanna talk about Sapnap's dream that he for some reason had to share with us as soon as he woke up on Foolishs stream, about how his house was full of strange invasive people that George was able to ignore and make content out of while Sapnap was overwhelmed? did anyone hear that?

#id need to relisten to remember exactly what he said and how i interpret it #but LORD it was a lot. #it went from like that into how capable he felt fighting people #the CHAT specifically... #like. y'all. oof. #these guys have me STRESSED for them fr. #and i am part of the problem 🤡 lawl #tbf. you did make yourself a reality tv show. #like what did yall expect 🤡🤡🤡 teehee #boy i am an asshole my b. #sapnap #mine #yikes should i be sharing this or nah. should this be kept to myself. feels like too much.

[noxtivagus]

i love final fantasy.

#🌙.rambles #like. uh. mostly ffxiv rn i just can't think straight bcs i just love ffxiv too much fuck but #other ffs too 😭😭 i was looking through some of my notes again n. i'm. it. IT MADE ME SO HAPPY #like yk those twt stuff from sqex or wtvr. i love squall n rinoa sm n then tidus n yuna n then #THE REST OF THEM N #n. w ff7 uh. fuck the fanwars just enjoy what you like i hate how ppl put others down. those adults can't even be mature or open-minded #n it's so disappointing but uh that aside! personally. this is for me okay. i just have a certain fondness of ships w aerith #no i don't want to talk abt ships but i didn't want to say this following thing without some context 💀 #nah okay here i don't have super strong feelings abt any of those ff7 ships but i do like the charas n the tropes #like. i like the ones w aerith more in general bcs yk she's just. gentle. i like her 🥺 but i relate to tifa quite a lot actually #OH. I DIDN'T MEAN TO RAMBLE ABT THAT WAIT #w tifa just made me rmb along w. smth in shb made me think of hehe. yk w the wol w the uh.. spoilers but smth Bad happens #i'm gna go off-topic again if i talk about emet-selch in those scenes. bro the love he has for azem n hyth n. amaurot n how he #all those. lonely thousand of years n. remembering.. 🥹 n then the honesty w the wol n he #he. hdkafjsdlkf his va's rlly did well w him n the writing made me love him so much his character's so dear to me #wait. i went off-topic again. oh w smth that happens to the wol. like w wol n the tifa can i just have a dream too of like. being saved #like no ultimately i'll save myself but c'monnnn just once 🥺 #writing the word once just always reminds me of zack fair damn hdlfkajsdfk one of my favs too hehe #head in hands i'm still so proud of alphi's chara development. n then. yk w thancred n minfilia n ryne. #n that talk w minfilia n ryne. hit. too personal. i remember. oh my god #alr i've just been rambling as i always have but atp i don't know what i'm writing abt anymore help #🥹🫶🏼 just love ffxiv so much fr. like not just ffxiv but yk what i mean. uwahh what a relief to. feel like this again at least #still stressed i just wna get that essay asap tho 😭 but yk it's lovely at least i'm rlly happy i remember again. #ffxiv's always. helped guide me in a way to rmb myself. so. please. please just listen to ffxiv's ost fr.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#bleh brian is not working. too much static #can't focus. i should sleep bc i gotta meet my boss at 8 #but things i will also do tomorrow: call my fucking insurance to figure out how to use it #bc i have weird out of state insurance from my mum so like idk. but i gotta do it bc im gonna try to get an appointment with a psychiatrist #bc my brain needs psychiatric attention lol #but also the lab mate i went sampling with today recently got diagnosed with adhd and gave me the name of the plsce #and i was like tell me what ur symptoms r like. and like if i have adhd it would b the plot twist of my life #but also i have horrible horrible executive dysfunction issues and related to a lotta what she said so idk #its just that i guess adhd has always been framed around not being able to meet deadlines in school and stuff #and im like nah im good at meeting deadlines. im horriblly anxious and compulsive so i dont forget or miss deadlines or dates #but my apartment and life out of school are in shambles bc i just originated around one draining focus #and i just lay in bed and cry bc i cant clean my fucking apartment and my sink is becoming obstructed by clothes that for some reason i #cant move? like fucking i dont kno. i tend to associate my broken brain stuff to dyslexia #bc when i was tested they were like lol ur short term memory is fucking awful. very below average lmao #so i was like oh my brain is not wired right. cool. but i dunno. i just need someone to assess my brain and tell me what's wrong with it #like i dunno im still doubtful of adhd as the source but its at least more convincingly on my radar. i will doubt until i have a diagnosis #in hand lol. but gotta find psychiatrist 1st. so gotta call tomorrow #it will happen. i will make it happen #unless the day goes off thr rails lol #unrelated

[reginaofdoctorwho]

ugh hate my brain. guy told me he had a crush on me a couple months ago while he had a girlfriend, they break up over break and he's still got a crush on me (as of thursday), he asks if i like him that way at all and i honestly say "no"

and right after that then he lets me ramble and says it's interesting and it's fun seeing me so excited about stuff. guess what fuckin happened

#also the girlfriend thing sounds bad #they were already having issues #and he even said when he told me about the crush #''i don't want anything to happen obviously but i just thought i should tell you because i don't want things to be weird between us'' #and the letting me ramble probably went on for like 15-20 minutes #he was high at the time but like. i heard that and was immediately like FUCK #'that" being the ''nah don't worry about it. this is interesting and it's fun watching you get so excited'' #like B R U H #do you know how fucking rare that is?? #u know in the grinch cartoon when his heart grows 3 sizes? that's what it fuckin felt like lol #also not to be catholic but we have the same confirmation saint and i don't KNOW if i consider that a + or - #but he is also bi he's [lapsed] catholic but still gets it #he made me a playlist and it had great music #and he used me as a source for two presentations because he thought i'd know about it #a music one and a weed one #also i get that that's kind of a stupid thing to switch feelings over #but y'know i'm probably fall for a wonderwall guy too