#ngl this felt like a prompt id get in ap lit&lang💀

[lotus-pear]

okay, i know this sounds silly once i actually write it down, but i never thought people thought about holidays as more special than regular days? like i get it, there's celebration, but sometimes what it celebrates isn't what you're feeling at that moment. so what do you then? enjoy the same as everyone else anyways? i have a couple friends that are younger than me, mostly bc i kind of mentor them sometimes. earlier, i wished them a happy new year, and they asked why i didn't have much energy about it. i just didn't feel it. i told them that, and they said i just didn't get it. mostly with a tone of "you're being silly", like i'm purposefully trying to ruin their mood.

and here's the truth. this year's holidays have been quiet. no issues, no problems. it's been a peaceful time. but for that to happen, my parents and i just stayed at home, in our rooms. we exchanged presents on christmas morning, but we didn't make a special breakfast or force ourselves to take pictures. there wasn't a need to. we're with each other, we're at peace, but it's not very different from yesterday when i listened to them laugh from my room with some star wars show playing. or in the middle of august when we watched the spiderverse movie. they're okay, i'm okay, and in the turbulence of the year, i think that makes it nicer. it's like other days. quiet.

that said, it surprised me, how there's a need for the days to be special. like if i don't dance my way through new years, i'm doing it wrong. or that if i don't eat all my dinner in thanksgiving, i'm being ungreatful. it's strange, i think, how people mold these days into more importance. i guess for me, i've always thought i'll celebrate when i'll celebrate, and i'll quiet when i'll quiet. for me, i will laugh without tearing through the idea that it might not be the time. that i have homework or situations boiling over. i'll just laugh because i want to laugh, and that it's special because i'm letting it be.

holidays are excuses for others to let me cherish them. i've noticed that. some days i want to give a gift because i found something they like, and the response is "it's not my birthday" "it's not christmas" "you didn't have to, this was your idea". but i don't always get that. why do i need some outside force to let me know that it's a moment worth celebrating? i knew that it let me give more than normal, but i didn't know people actually thought it was supposed to be more special. i didn't know it was an actual expectation. so here i am, with a question held back previously by my teeth. think you're a thoughtful third party. might as well ask the question, since there's a button letting me. what's your take on holidays? are they more than other days? why? maybe you can shine light on why it's more special. or maybe you don't, and you just shrug at this observation. at the end of the day, i thought it nice to ask something like this to someone like you. artists see so much. makes me envy it sometimes.

and just in case they are more important than two days from now, happy new year.

i let this sit for a little bit bc i wanted to give a provocative and thoughtful opinion regarding the matter. i agree with what you stated previously, with holidays being used as outlets to channel a specific emotion that is normally disregarded. it ilks me at times to give someone a gift, only for them to respond “what’s the occasion?” must there be an occasion? could i not have simply thought about you in that moment, found something that reminded me of you, of our bond, and gifted it to you as a way to show i think of you outside the time we spend together? isn’t that what gift giving is about?? why must it be your birthday, or christmas, or some other holiday where it’s expected to give gifts to one another? holidays are just some other day in my opinion. they’ve been romanticized and commercialized, so much so that the joy of christmas in my childhood has completely lost its meaning and value. i wake up expecting to feel mirthful and eager, but really it’s just another winter morning, yk? it’s like the magic of the holidays has diminished over time. it doesn’t feel the same anymore.

#ngl this felt like a prompt id get in ap lit&lang💀 #this is exactly the type of prompt my teacher would give us 😭 #but uh yea suffice to say holidays are just some day yk? they’re just made to be special imo #rly thought provoking ask tho. i think it’s a good way to start off the new year thinking abt such things :) #lotus’s asks