#rly thought provoking ask tho. i think it’s a good way to start off the new year thinking abt such things :)

[lotus-pear]

okay, i know this sounds silly once i actually write it down, but i never thought people thought about holidays as more special than regular days? like i get it, there's celebration, but sometimes what it celebrates isn't what you're feeling at that moment. so what do you then? enjoy the same as everyone else anyways? i have a couple friends that are younger than me, mostly bc i kind of mentor them sometimes. earlier, i wished them a happy new year, and they asked why i didn't have much energy about it. i just didn't feel it. i told them that, and they said i just didn't get it. mostly with a tone of "you're being silly", like i'm purposefully trying to ruin their mood.

and here's the truth. this year's holidays have been quiet. no issues, no problems. it's been a peaceful time. but for that to happen, my parents and i just stayed at home, in our rooms. we exchanged presents on christmas morning, but we didn't make a special breakfast or force ourselves to take pictures. there wasn't a need to. we're with each other, we're at peace, but it's not very different from yesterday when i listened to them laugh from my room with some star wars show playing. or in the middle of august when we watched the spiderverse movie. they're okay, i'm okay, and in the turbulence of the year, i think that makes it nicer. it's like other days. quiet.

that said, it surprised me, how there's a need for the days to be special. like if i don't dance my way through new years, i'm doing it wrong. or that if i don't eat all my dinner in thanksgiving, i'm being ungreatful. it's strange, i think, how people mold these days into more importance. i guess for me, i've always thought i'll celebrate when i'll celebrate, and i'll quiet when i'll quiet. for me, i will laugh without tearing through the idea that it might not be the time. that i have homework or situations boiling over. i'll just laugh because i want to laugh, and that it's special because i'm letting it be.

holidays are excuses for others to let me cherish them. i've noticed that. some days i want to give a gift because i found something they like, and the response is "it's not my birthday" "it's not christmas" "you didn't have to, this was your idea". but i don't always get that. why do i need some outside force to let me know that it's a moment worth celebrating? i knew that it let me give more than normal, but i didn't know people actually thought it was supposed to be more special. i didn't know it was an actual expectation. so here i am, with a question held back previously by my teeth. think you're a thoughtful third party. might as well ask the question, since there's a button letting me. what's your take on holidays? are they more than other days? why? maybe you can shine light on why it's more special. or maybe you don't, and you just shrug at this observation. at the end of the day, i thought it nice to ask something like this to someone like you. artists see so much. makes me envy it sometimes.

and just in case they are more important than two days from now, happy new year.

i let this sit for a little bit bc i wanted to give a provocative and thoughtful opinion regarding the matter. i agree with what you stated previously, with holidays being used as outlets to channel a specific emotion that is normally disregarded. it ilks me at times to give someone a gift, only for them to respond “what’s the occasion?” must there be an occasion? could i not have simply thought about you in that moment, found something that reminded me of you, of our bond, and gifted it to you as a way to show i think of you outside the time we spend together? isn’t that what gift giving is about?? why must it be your birthday, or christmas, or some other holiday where it’s expected to give gifts to one another? holidays are just some other day in my opinion. they’ve been romanticized and commercialized, so much so that the joy of christmas in my childhood has completely lost its meaning and value. i wake up expecting to feel mirthful and eager, but really it’s just another winter morning, yk? it’s like the magic of the holidays has diminished over time. it doesn’t feel the same anymore.

#ngl this felt like a prompt id get in ap lit&lang💀 #this is exactly the type of prompt my teacher would give us 😭 #but uh yea suffice to say holidays are just some day yk? they’re just made to be special imo #rly thought provoking ask tho. i think it’s a good way to start off the new year thinking abt such things :) #lotus’s asks

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

typing help needed: i get rly obsessed with things & have to know everything abt them (astrology, cats, certain fictional characters, etc) & constantly bring them up in conversations. speaking of which, i only really initiate conversations when there’s something specific i want to talk about; i don’t talk to people just for talking’s sake. i’m ambivalent about spending time w ppl. i could go months w/o seeing ppl as long as i could text them & most people are boring to me anyway, but there are types of ppl whose company i never get tired of. i love being around funny, ambitious & intelligent ppl who tell it like it is. really emotional & soft ppl annoy me. stupid ppl annoy me but also amuse me. what annoys me most is when ppl waste my time (n i lowkey feel guilty abt this ask bc it’s so long & unorganized i’m sorry i tried). i’m constantly tempted to prank people/provoke fights but i’m scared of getting in trouble. academic & financial success are extremely important to me. i’ll sacrifice anything for straight As. i put 100% effort into everything i do as long as i’m interested in it (chores? hell no.) but lose steam quickly and slack off when a project is near completed. still, i do whatever i need to to outperform my classmates. the thought of working a 9-5 office job fills me with unimaginable dread because i hate rigid schedules & having to see the same boring people/place every single day. i want to write/draw for a living and/or be a professor, don’t rly have a plan tho i just take opportunities as they come. i live to entertain. i love wearing weird/flashy clothes that attract attention. i’m “the funny one” and “the creative one” in my friend group. i’m an open book in that i’ll answer p much any question honestly. but the intimacy of romantic relationships is hard for me. i hate feeling vulnerable and i’m terrified of rejection. i’ve never confessed romantic feelings to anyone, but i’ll do crazy things for “love.” i got myself a full ride scholarship to a private high school just because someone i liked was going to go there & then did the same thing for a different person for college. i’m confident & insecure at the same time, like i know i’m smart & capable but i worry that other people won’t see that. i have terrible fomo and i feel like i’m losing a race against everyone else my age. i’m pretty opinionated when it comes to politics & v vocal when i disagree w someone unless they have power over me in which case i bitch about them behind their back. i love a good fight but tap out when people refuse to listen to reason. i have over 20000 accounts blocked on twitter. i wish ppl were less sensitive bc i hate trying not to make them upset. i don’t want to make them upset but i hate that i have to act fake nice in order to do that. it happens a lot in my classes when we critique e/o’s work like i have nothing positive to say to u i’m sorry. i’m a deeply angry person but i try to hide it bc despite wanting to not care abt what people think of me i often do & i’m scared they’d hate the real me. anyway i think i’m an NP but no idea about the other 2 letters & enneagram i have no clue i feel like i don’t fit neatly into any of them. thanks in advance for reading all this hogwash !

okay before I read this...how are you getting around the character limit per ask? I’ve seen this a couple times but very inconsistently but anyway I might need to reframe my ask limit as a character limit (which this is technically under although I can’t believe I’m saying this, but much as I hate copying and pasting each part of 7 asks at least that method has paragraph breaks).

Anyway, ESTP, enneagram 3.

- a lot of the “I wish I could be more chaotic but I’m worried about getting in trouble or being seen as less than impressive” stuff here is very in line with how an Ne or Se-dom 3 acts

- hating routine, grabbing opportunities effectively but for impulsive reasons, and putting effort in based solely on interest or succeeding against certain metrics (rather than say, general obligations) are all very Ne or Se dom as well

- the specific examples you gave of seizing opportunities, the fact that you gave specific examples in the first place (this is a good thing; a lot of questions I get have me like....concrete examples? spare a concrete example for the sensor?), the 3-ness of it all, and the fomo all sound far more like high Se than high Ne to me. The focus on external metrics and the weird flashy clothes also have me thinking high Se.

- the caring to the degree you do about other people and their opinions of you is definitely part of 3 (especially since a lot of it is about not getting into trouble or having good grades) but also pretty clearly the Ti-Fe axis; this isn’t strictly being impressive via competence the way many Te-doms do it, but through interpersonal tracks as well.

- the part about arguments is 100% high Ti. I have no idea how you blocked so many people on twitter or why and frankly I’m not sure how that’s relevant, but one of the greatest hallmarks of high Ti and especially aux Ti (it’s the extroversion) is loving arguments and even starting them but the second someone else doesn’t engage with the rules (which can be valid, like being reasonable, but can also include the other person pointing out this is legitimately a matter of opinion) leaving or getting frustrated or doubling down in weird ways.

#mbti #enneagram #estp #enneagram 3 #Anonymous

[ramonasflowers13-blog]

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. Who even remembers that? I remember watching chucky or some scary movie when I was really young tho. 2: Talk about your first kiss. It was during the summer. I think I was 14. I was over romans house with a bunch of my friends and we were watching wax museum I believe and he pulled the covers over us and kissed me. I didn't even kiss him back lol 3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for. He broke my heart. He left me in the worst way. With no words, no explanation, no closure. I'll always love him though. If he came back, I'd probably let him back in. I don't want to though. I doubt he will. 4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far. Getting involved with David. Catching a felony. 5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had. I've never had a good memorable birthday. For my 19th I got really drunk and went to see a movie and fell asleep thru the whole thing and ended up throwing up crackers on the floor n fell asleep. Lol 6: Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had. They all sucked. None in particular really stand out. 7: Talk about your biggest insecurity. Probably my face in general. My smile. My crooked teeth. 8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of. I'm not proud of anything. I guess just finishing high school bc I really didn't think I'd make it and maybe making it this far. 9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. My little moles. I have them everywhere 10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had. Physical or emotional? I don't ever really argue with anyone. I guess that one time with David when I screamed fuck you and he was like fuck you too and told me to get out of his house but wanted to block doors and shit. Oh maybe that one time Chelsea got drunk and hit me and tori left her at a gas station in Oklahoma. 11: Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had. I can never remember my dreams. None of them are ever that nice just fucking weird. 12: Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had. Trump trying to have a 3some with me and hitler and when he got mad he turned into a really tall black woman and busted down the door to get to me. I had a dream about a bus full of kids getting shot up. 13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. I was high. Wasn't that good. It was with my first love. It was after some teen club. I was 14. 14: Talk about a vacation. I don't think I've ever been on vacation. But I did go to Florida for my half brothers wedding once and I was on the beach. 15: Talk about the time you were most content in life. Anytime before I was 12 16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to. I don't go to many parties. None of them are really eventful. I usually never wanna be there in the first place besides to get drunk. 17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with. No one comes to mind. 18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school. I was "dating" roman in like 4th grade? Or 3rd and he would leave me money in my locker sometimes like 20$ and I was joking and said I'm a gold digger and my bitch ass little friends went and told him and he broke up with me and my friends were going back and forth on the soccer field saying "oh she said this!" And "he said that!" And he told me to suck his dick and I told him to suck his own dick and we somehow ended up getting in trouble and we got Saturday detention and they really had the nerve to sit us at the same table across from each other LOL 19: Talk about something that happened in middle school. I had a few good friends. Alex. Bailey. Angel. Roxiee. And everyone else I don't even talk to anymore. I miss them. 20: Talk about something that happened in high school. I isolated myself from everyone. I didn't have many friends. I didn't bother to speak to anyone or get to know anyone. I spent most of my time in the library reading or doing homework so I didn't have to do it at home. I met a guy named Evan in my fashion design class. He was one of the only guys in the class and he was really cool. He smoked and lived fairly close so we started hanging out. We were drinking and he asked me out and I didn't really wanna say yes but I can't reject someone to their face in their own house. So yeah. I don't really remember how we broke up. He said he liked my hair or something n I said that's gay and I think it pissed him off. lol I think that's why we broke up TBH but my memory is shit 21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. I never usually do. Idk. No one ever really pursues me. I guess Luis. I keep telling him to fuck off every time he tries to talk to me. It's been like 2 or 3 years now. Idk how I'm still a thought in his mind. 22: Talk about your worst fear. My worst fears have already manifested. Being utterly alone. Having no one understand me. Catching on fire. Dying in a plane crash. Dying a slow painful death. I plan on od'ing so I just realized I should just get barred out then od so I don't have to remember anything and everything will slowly just fade away. I'm hoping. 23: Talk about a time someone turned you down. All my relationships. I never am the one to walk away. People always end up leaving me. But I mean, no ones ever really rejected me I don't think. I don't pursue people that aren't at least semi interested in me 24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot. Idk why but when David noticed how I always taste my coffee before I drink it on our way to work. He said something about that and idk why it meant so much to me but I guess just someone paying attention to the little things I didn't think anyone would ever notice. When john told me he was in love with me so casually. It shocked me. I've never had anyone say that to me before. I never got to actually hear it before. 25: Talk about an ex-best friend. Tori is a fucking cunt. She sucks as a person. Rude mean and manipulative. 26: Talk about things you do when you’re sick. Lay in bed all day. Bitch and moan about being sick. Hot coffee. Lots of NyQuil. 27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body. I really like boys with nice feet. I don't even like feet at all but guys feet rly intrigue me for some reason when they're pretty LOL. Hands. The veiny arms. The muscles. Eyes. 28: Talk about your fetishes. Hair pulling. Slapping. Spitting. Bondage is cool. CHOKING! 29: Talk about what turns you on. All those ^ and neck kisses. Hickies. So ugly but I love how they feel. Gettin my titties succccdt 30: Talk about what turns you off. Long fingernails. 31: Talk about what you think death is like. I have a couple theories. 1. Eternal sleep. A dreamlike state. Does consciousness die when your body dies? If not, I feel like you'd just keep dreaming for eternity. Maybe that's what this life is. My past life's never ending dream. 2. Darkness. Black. Nothingness. The void. 3. Reincarnation. You are reborn into this world or perhaps a different universe. I'm not sure but either one of those would be okay with me. Oh, maybe a heaven type place for your soul. Maybe only in death you can reach enlightenment and pure bliss. 32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood. The big orange trailer on the end of morning street. The lake/pond thing by it. My cousins house. 33: Talk about what you do when you are sad. Listen to sad music. Shitpost on social media about my inevitable suicide. I don't necessarily want attention. Idk why I do it. I just don't have anyone else to really talk to I guess. So why not let the whole twitter n tumblr world know how I feel. 34: Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured. When I would wake up in the middle of the night with a pain in my stomach. Laying down only made it worse. Emotional pain that turns into physical pain and you can literally feel an ache in your chest. 35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. Depending on people. Planning my suicide. Wanting to kill myself anytime something goes wrong. Not being able to say how I feel when I should. Not being able to walk away from people and situations I no longer need to deal with. Not being able to let go. Hating myself. Blaming myself for other people's actions. Blaming myself for things out of my control. Inappropriate humor that most people don't think is funny but I just really hate everything and give no fucks. 36: Talk about your guilty pleasures. I never know. Coffee I suppose bc it makes my anxiety a lot worse. Cigarettes. I smoke them when I'm stressed or just when I'm bored bc it gives me something to do. Provoking people to hurt me bc I like emotional pain. I guess I don't like it but I thrive on it. I need it to survive. 37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. He ruined me. That ordeal traumatized me. 38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. From the edge of the deep green sea by the cure reminds me of john. It talks about how she never wants to leave him and how it's the same thing every time. Idk. Reflect the storm by in flames reminds me of David. He showed me it. So I can't help but think of him every time I hear it. 39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier. He didn't love me. Everything he said was a lie. 40: Talk about the end of something in your life. This relationship. My life will end soon as well.