#no actually what i need to do is go outsidr and run some fuckin laps or something but it is the middle of the night. woooargh

[weidli]

oh so 1x22 really is exactly calculated to make me specifically go fucking feral huh

#im sorry i. jxkdkahyeiwiwkskshdhdjsj #i keep phrasing the start of a coherent post in my head and then getting sidetracked by absolutely fjcking losinf it over something else #jesus. jesus h christ on a motorized bicycle on main street. i was SPOILED for this i KNEW what had to happen and im still gojng BONKERS #what the FUCK #i need to watch like the last 20 minutes of this again right now what the fuuuucl #no actually what i need to do is go outsidr and run some fuckin laps or something but it is the middle of the night. woooargh #ugh. dean. crying wailing #the fact that. sam doesnt notice. he doesnt see anything wrong with john reassuring dean and telling him hes important. because he believes #what demon-john is saying is true. #but DEAN. knows damn well what his father thinks of him. #and then the demon confirms it. they don't need you like you need them. (dean in the motel breathes through sam shoving him up against the #wall says some days i feel like i can barely keep it together - you me dad it's all i've got - ) #DEAN ONCE AGAIN THROWING HIMSELF BETWEEN JOHN AND SAM. POSSESSED JOHN OR NORMAL JOHN DEAN KNOWS HOW THIS GOES . #okay if i were to change one (1) thing about this episode i would have the demon pin dean to the ceiling when he nearly kills him. REALLY #lean into the dean mary parallels of it all #GOD. so we agree that sam held off from shooting the second time not because dean going sam no appealed to sam's conscience or anything like #that #sam knew damn well he and john agreed on one thing and that's they'd both die to kill this thing #but sam couldn't do that to dean. because dean's only got the two of them and losing either of them would destroy him #(no. says sam. glances into the rearview mirror at dean blood on his mouth gaze unfocused. not everything.) #natural soup