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officialleotolstoy · 3 years

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Oh Natasha/Andrei brainrot we’re really in it now, aka Natasha/Andrei playlist annotations!

Honestly the age gap is so inherently uncomfortable it’s difficult for me to really ship this but I think in terms of the REALLY low bar of W&P marriages/almost-marriages, it’s one of the better ones because they at least mutually care about each other. It’s also just devastating on principle!

There are several distinct sections of song on here, this is one of the few I’ve actually put in a significant order, so I’m going to break it down into that.

Part 1: Initial Meeting/Falling In Love The First Time/General

Absolutely Smitten - dodie

“She wants to dance around the room, kiss you until her lips turn blue”

This song really reminds me of their first meeting when they’re both like 👀 at each other. I like how it captures the excitement but also nerves of the girl, which I feel like is an important feature of Natasha’s part of the relationship.

Helpless - Philippa Soo

“Tryin' to catch your eye from the side of the ballroom”

Sorry to all the ex-Hamilton stans I jumpscared with this, but it’s about the Philippa Soo Singing About Falling In Love vibe. Also the quoted lyric reminds me of their iconic dance scene, or at least the bits leading up to that.

To Noise Making (Sing) - Hozier

“Honey, the look of it was as sweet as the sound; Your head tilt back, your funny mouth to the clouds”

This reminds me of the scene where she sings for him and he’s like WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH im in love! I paraphrase, but you get the idea.

Golden Years - David Bowie

“Look at that sky, life's begun”

This is objectively the stupidest song on here. It’s here because I think it’s funny to imagine the iconic Natasha/Andrei dance just being the Golden Years dance from A Knight’s Tale, HOWEVER the quoted lyric is in fact Andreicore.

Stop The World I Wanna Get Off With You - The Arctic Monkeys

“And I know we got places to go, we got people to see/Think we both oughta put 'em on hold”

‘Wren there are several songs that are on this playlist AND your Andrei/Pierre playlist’ Thank you for noticing it’s because if Tolstoy can recycle the same lines of dialogue for these relationships I can recycle the same songs! This song is just. I Hate Everyone Except You :) which is deeply Andrei @ both of them. But also like wanting life to stop so you can just hang out with Your People.

Strawberry Blond - Mitski

“I love everybody because I love you”

I’m pretty sure someone once pointed out how this lyric fit Andrei/Natasha once in a post and I cannot for the life of me remember who but that made an impression on me. Mystery person, thanks <3 Also I forgot this was a Mitski song??

The Anchor - Bastille

“Bring me some hope by wandering into my mind”

One of Thee things about their relationship that sticks out to me is how Natasha is so lifelike and her very existence gives Andrei hope for the world. It’s so. It’s so much!

Something After All - Starry

“You’ve turned my world around”

Like I said above, falling in love with Natasha really changes Andrei’s entire worldview! I also think “I've spent years building up walls” is very Andrei, and Natasha kind of brought them down, like what happens in the song.

Cosmic Love - Florence + The Machine

“A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes”

IT’S ABOUT THE SPACE METAPHORS FOR LOVE. THIS IS NO ONE ELSE FROM GREAT COMET’S FAULT.

Cold Cold Man - Saint Motel

“I know I am a cold cold man: quite slow to pay you compliments or public displayed affections”

It’s about being generally not very emotional or expressive but being devoted to the person anyway...very Andrei-ish.

Ophelia - The Lumineers

“I don't feel nothing at all and you can't feel nothing small”

The quoted lyric just seems like a really good summary of their dynamic, but I also think “Heaven help a fool who falls in love” works well for bitter post-elopement vibes, so this song was difficult to place.

Part 2: Andrei Leaving For Abroad

Misbehavin’ - Pentatonix

For some reason this is on both the Nat/Andrei and Natasha playlists and I’m too lazy to change it. Just go look at those annotations.

No One Else - Great Comet

Duh

To a Poet - First Aid Kit

“I got on a plane and flew far away from you, though unwillingly I left”

This song makes me think of Andrei abroad missing Natasha :( Honey you’ve got a big storm coming

Part 3: Post-Elopement Breakup Songs

I Hope Your Husband Dies - Amigo The Devil

“All the distance that we've spent apart will never have to mean a thing”

This song is VERY much Andrei about Anatole. “Now you're with this asshole, you expect me to believe it's going to last” really works because her relationship with Anatole was never going to last, whether or not she knew that. And “I'm not so much afraid of being alone, just kind of feel I've had enough/And time and time again, time reminds me you'll never be my own/We'll never have a house to decorate, a place that we can call our home” as an Andrei thing makes me very sad!!!

Ruins - First Aid Kit

“Ruins, all the things we built assured that they would last”

I think you can safely say their relationship was in ruins after the elopement attempt. I also think “I lost you, didn't I? First I think I lost myself” is something Natasha would think about the whole scenario

Half of My Heart - John Mayer

“Half of my heart's got the right mind to tell you that I can't keep loving you with half of my heart”

I think this is supposed to be more of an “I don’t love you anymore and that’s on me” song, but I like to mentally frame it in the context of Andrei after the elopement refusing to take back Natasha. I also think all the bits about the singer’s love interest changing the singer’s outlook on life before really fits, like “Lonely was the song I sang 'til the day you came, showing me another way”

Love Like Ghosts - Lord Huron

“You don't want me baby please don't lie/Oh but if you're leaving, I gotta know why”

It’s all about the singer being haunted by a love that doesn’t necessarily reciprocate on the same level, and I think that really fits Andrei’s mindset. It breaks my heart to think about him trying to figure out what he did wrong, why he wasn’t enough for Natasha, and so that quoted lyric really makes me just. :(

Cold Day In Heaven - Delta Rae

“Keep thinking bout when we started, so innocent/Your heart was a mess and I was lost in it”

This whole song is so good for them, it’s essentially just a couple being disappointed that their relationship didn’t work out well. The quoted lyric is so. AAAAHHH. because both of their hearts were messes but for different reasons, Andrei was so hopeless and bleak but Natasha was so naive and not ready for it and it’s so. It’s so Much. Also “We watched, the stars fell, and oh you know we let them/We said it’ll never happen, we said it’ll never happen to us/But it’s a cold day in heaven my love” gets me because 1) star/sky references :( and 2) Natasha especially did say it’d never happen to them, she was adamant that she’d love Andrei forever and that uh. I think we all know how well that worked out!

2 Months. - Zach Adkins

Someone You Loved - Lewis Capaldi

“I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug”

This is kind of a generic betrayal/breakup/I-miss-you song, but I think it works. Especially with “I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain” and the focus on the singer’s lover getting them through difficult times and then abandoning them.

The Night We Met - Lord Huron

“Take me back to the night we met”

I think people are legally obligated to have this song on any playlist for a couple that doesn’t end well. It’s generic but it’s good! The entire Strange Trails album my BELOVED!

Careless Whisper - George Michael

“I should have known better than to cheat a friend and waste a chance that I'd been given, so I'm never gonna dance again the way I danced with you”

UNIRONICALLY THIS SONG. I think it’s the focus on dancing as like a significant marker of the relationship for me, especially given how heavily adaptations focus on their dance at that ball. The quoted lyric reminds me of Natasha’s mindset after all of this. Also “We could have been so good together, we could have lived this dance forever, but now, who's gonna dance with me? Please stay” reminds me of Natasha asking him to forgive her. Not to actually get sad over Careless Whisper but. :,(

With Or Without You - U2

“And you give yourself away”

The quoted lyric is in reference to the elopement in my head, and “I can’t live with or without you” is like. Andrei can’t continue on and let her back into his life, he admits that he can’t forgive her, but he also has no real will to live after she betrays him and goes off to die in war.

Atlantis - Seafret

“We've built this town on shaky ground”

“This town” is in reference to their relationship, and I like the acknowledgment that there was never a great foundation to begin with. And “maybe I’m not built for love” as an Andrei lyric is a little heartbreaking! Other than that it’s just a Breakup Song.

I Don’t Wanna See You Cryin’ Anymore - Adam Melchor

“I don't wanna be the reason you can't trust me like before/My head's in my hands as I'm shaking on the bathroom floor”

This reminds me of Natasha’s deep guilt over her betrayal of Andrei. The implication that Andrei would ever let anyone see him cry is a bit much for me, just ignore that HFJAHDHSH

Part 4: Reconciling While Andrei ✨Dies✨

Fake It - Bastille

“We can never go back, we can only do our best to recreate”

This whole is song is about trying to move forward from bad things in the past with your lover which is the whole vibe! But I also think it shows some reluctance on the part of the singer to forget, and a bit of a desperation to be able to leave the mistakes in the past. “Help me turn a blind eye” really captures that. I like this as the early stages of them reconnecting, because I think it’s realistic to have Andrei especially be wary but wanting it to get better.

Bad Blood - Bastille

“All this bad blood here, won’t you let it dry?”

Letting go of a grudge and trying to move on vibes!

Let It All Go - Birdy, Alvaro Soler

“We’re strong enough to let it go”

All their hurt surrounding the elopement is the Thing they’re letting go of in this case.

Flaws - Bastille

“You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve and I have always buried them deep beneath the ground”

The quoted lyric just feels like their general dynamic to me. Natasha is so open about everything and does indeed wear her heart on her sleeve whereas Andrei represses every emotion he’s ever felt. I think this is a post-elopement song because of “Dig them up; let’s finish what we started”. That feels like them reexamining their relationship and what went wrong and trying again.

Moscow - Autoheart

“All I need’s a fraction of your happy heart”

This song is so 🥺. “We both know what we’ve got to do: head back to where the magic grew” reminds me of them accepting their reconnection and moving on and trying to rekindle whatever was between them. And “Let’s get a dog, an Irish red setter, it’s all we need to get better” feels emblematic of them looking forward to domestic happiness as the solution. And the quoted lyric screams Andrei about Natasha.

The Heart Is A Muscle - Gang of Youths

“I will look at love as more than just an instrument of pain”

Not to be off topic but this whole album is so good every single song makes me feel SHRIMP EMOTIONS god. Also the whole thing is very Andreicore and I had to stop myself from adding every song to his playlist. But I digress. This song is all about having been hurt by love in the past (“I let bad love betray me once”) but deciding to open your heart again which is very them! “I haven't had enough and I wanna love someone” AAAAHHHH. “I am human now and terrified, but want it all the same” Mr. GangOfYouths im going INSANE! “I just ask you to be patient if you’ll have me still” HELLO? Not to quote the whole song but “I wanna be loved, I wanna be whole again, so tuck my hair behind my ears and touch my soul again” as an Andrei/Natasha lyric...I need to sit down. Can you all tell this song makes me go all kinds of crazy. And this isn’t even my favorite song off the album!

Shrike - Hozier

“I couldn’t utter my love when it counted, ah but I’m flying like a bird to you now”

This song feels very “we tried to have a relationship a while ago and it didn’t work out that well but I still love you we could try again” to me which fits this time very well!

Part 5: Andrei Goes Splat :( [And The Aftermath]

Work Song - Hozier

“No grave can hold my body down, I’ll crawl home to her”

I can’t say what it is exactly, but something about persistent love framed around the death motif works for me here.

Dancing After Death - Matt Maeson

“As the sun waits to eclipse and the taste teases my lips, I'm too tired to wrestle with it”

The quoted lyric reminds me of Andrei giving up and shutting down when he realizes he’s gonna die :( oh ALSO my brain always mentally fills in “and no one else” after the “you and I” that ends the chorus which does NOT help with my depression!

One Last Time - Jaymes Young

“Could I feel your skin on mine before I have to say goodbye?”

SCREAMS SO LOUDLY. The whole song is like. Someone dying and wanting to see their person one last time and AAAAAAAAAAA. I am a little incoherent maybe. “I'm leavin' this cold world of mine, no pleadin' is gonna turn back time” really Gets Me in the context of Andrei accepting his own death and withdrawing and it’s so. Anyway.

Oblivion - Bastille

“When oblivion is calling out your name, you always take it further than I ever can”

I don’t think this is exactly what the song is talking about, but the quoted lyric in the context of Andrei dying and Natasha watching him fade and withdraw...good Lord. I need emotional support.

Haunt - Bastille

“I’ll come back to haunt you/Memories will taunt you”

Natasha being haunted by the memory of Andrei!!! Help me!!!! Also “I will try to love you/It’s not like I’m above you” as a callback to Andrei’s feelings for Natasha when they start to reconnect is so mental illness inducing. OOOH and “Questioning why as you look to the sky that is cloudless up above our heads and thoughts come to mind that our short little lives haven't left the path that they will tread” any lyric ever about looking at the sky is Andrei’s now.

Without You - for KING & COUNTRY

“What do you do when you don't get better/Strong arms get too, get too weak to hold her”

:( :( :( :( :( Also “I’m not ready to live without you” I am so sad.

Good Grief - Bastille

“Every minute and every hour I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more”

Pain! Agony, even!

I made myself SO sad writing the entire last half of these annotations geez

#im so sad im so sad im so sad!#war and peace #great comet #natasha rostova #andrei bolkonksy #uhhh whats their ship name?#w&p playlists #my post #figured out how to do a read more bc this post is so LONG

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callioope · 6 years

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11 Questions Meme

I was tagged by @letthepeoplesay-oh and @ta-dala -- thanks both of you because I love these! Also I’m just going to combine these into one long post so I cut it so it wouldn’t be ridiculous.

Rules: Answer the questions given to you. Make 11 questions of your own. Tag 11 people.

First set: (letthepeoplesay-oh)

1. If you could have any animal (real or fictional) as a pet, what would it be? My actual dog is pretty awesome, but that’s probably not the point of this question. So I’m going to say a red panda because they are the cutest animal and that’s a fact.

2. What’s your Hogwarts house? (Or your best guess, if you’re not a fan!) I spent all my life thinking I was a Hufflepuff, but Pottermore put me in Ravenclaw.

3. If you could change the smell of rain to any other smell, what would you choose? Ummmm so I can’t actually smell so I don’t really know how to answer this question. Isn’t the smell of rain supposed to be pleasant?

4. What was your favorite book as a child? Haha well ok. My sister and I always loved to check out There’s a Hippopotamus on Our Roof Eating Cake by Hazel Edwards from the library. I don’t know what we loved about it, maybe that the hippo got up to so many strange activities on a roof? So we recently found it super cheap on Amazon and reread it, and it’s actually kind of creepy? There’s a line where the kid is talking about how they like to watch TV and it goes “He watches. I know he does.” So anyways. We liked a weird book.

5. If the police came to your house to arrest you right now, what crime would they charge you with? Listen, when it comes to cops, I am basically Ben Wyatt. I’m Lawful Good. I’ve refused to jaywalk before. I don’t even know how to answer this. I cannot imagine myself committing a crime.

6. If you could sit on a bench in a beautiful woods, who would you like sitting next to you on the bench and why? My fiance because we always go hiking together and idk there’s no one else I’d rather be with

7. If you could choose your age forever, what age would you choose and why? I think 27? Idk why it just seems like the sweet spot between feeling young and feeling old? At least for me.

8. What’s your earliest childhood memory? I used to say it was when I was 3, sitting in our backyard in San Antonio, our neighbor’s ball landed in our backyard and I liked it so I just decided to keep it. But I think that’s more a memory of a memory at this point. So I’m going to go with... I was 4, saw Beauty and the Beast on ice at Hershey Park in PA, would fall asleep listening to the soundtrack.

9. If you could go back in time and change history, what would you change? Everything? There’s too much badness in history, I’m struggling to pick one thing. Maybe stopping Christopher Columbus. I think this would have just delayed the horribleness that was wrought upon the Americas but... maybe if he was stopped, it could have been different. Anyways Orson Scott Card wrote a book about this (Pastwatch: The Redemption of Christopher Columbus. It’s probably problematic (I mean the title sounds kind of problematic); I haven’t read it in years, and Card has a tendency to be problematic. But it certainly was an interesting thought experiment.)

10. If you were to change your name, what name would you adopt going forward? I used to use Fiona as a pen name before I started using Callioope... I guess I also like Abigail. I wanted to use this name for a future kid, but my fiance’s aunt is named Abigail so now we can’t use it. Dumb. Anyways I’ve always felt really lucky that I like my name and wouldn’t want to change it.

11. How do you like to spend a rainy day? Curled up on the couch, hot tea in hand, reading.

Second set: (ta-dala)

1. What is the “craziest” thing you’ve done for the love of something? Well. I went skydiving for my fiance. I have a strong fear of heights, he’d been wanting to do it for years and said he’d prefer to share such a life experience with me (so he wouldn’t go with anyone else). I refused for many years, but this past summer I finally took the leap (har har) and bought a groupon for it for his bday. I actually ended up having a blast, so I’m glad I went, but… I definitely thought it was a thing only crazy people do, before I did it.

2. What is your ultimate bucket-list travel destination? I would have said Efes, but I had the fortune of going there in 2014. (Both my user pic and cover pic are from Efes.) Otherwise there are so many places I want to go that it’s hard to choose just one. Hmmm we didn’t do Pamukkale when we were in Turkey soo maybe that. I mean, basically, ancient ruins are usually at the top of my list. And there are a lot of ancient ruins in Turkey along the southwest coast that we didn’t go to that I want to go back for. Oh and hot air ballooning in Cappadocia!

3. Cats or dogs? Dogs. I have nothing against cats, but I grew up with dogs all my life because my mom was allergic to cats.

4. If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would it be? I mean, right now I’m sleepy and still not quite 100% (but very close) recovered from being sick, soo… being at home, in pjs, on my couch is pretty appealing. But my usual answer to this is somewhere in Turkey, or maybe München. I’d move to München if distance was somehow made negligible by science fiction-esque modes of transportation and thus I wouldn’t be so separated from friends and family.

5. Write me a piece of advise that you’d go back and give to your younger self. Perfection is the enemy of good enough — you don’t even have to be great at something as long as you try and give it the best you can.

6. Share one sentence of something you’ve written and tell me why you like it. “She discovers him on Endor, eyes dark and far away even after the Death Star disintegrates into fireworks above them, and they spend a night separate from the celebration, their own relief soft and slow and solemn as they reconcile their fears of tomorrow against its new promises.” from “if i wait (will you stay?)”

I enjoyed writing the imagery here; I liked the idea of Jyn and Cassian keeping their celebration of the destruction of the second Death Star private, it’s too deep and personal for them; I liked the alliteration of ‘soft and slow and solemn.’ The victory/beginning of the end of the war would be so charged for them because this is a war they’ve been fighting all their lives and it’d be the first glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel and I think that would terrify them as much as it would excite them.

7. Can you still love/be a fan of something/someone and be critical of a choice or decision? Why or why not? ABSOLUTELY!!! Thank you for this question, this is a good question and one I feel very strongly about. (Look, I’m a fan of A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones, there’s no way I haven’t learned how to take enjoyment from something while still being critical of it.)

I’d argue that maybe you don’t really love something until you’re honest about its faults. That seems a little dramatic to say though. And I don’t want to devalue someone’s love of something because they’re not critical of it. (Also, some things just… are less problematic.)

With my own experience in fandom, I’ve felt more sincerely and honestly connected and engaged with a work once I’ve acknowledged its criticisms. I think it comes about naturally when you pay enough attention to something or analyze it deeply enough. And to some extent (depending on the work), I feel if I wasn’t honest about its faults, there’d be a level of idolization happening that isn’t 100% sincere. Placing works or people on a pedestal is dangerous. Understanding the faults of a person or thing, to me, seems like a more true/sincere/honest understanding of it.

Also, nothing in this world is 100% Perfect and Good. It’s possible for a Thing or Person to both propagate very good, positive, progressive ideas and beliefs and commit mistakes and misunderstandings that aren’t great. In fact, most things in life are probably this way. Open honesty about how something is good and how something is bad is a natural, and I’d say necessary, course for progressing and improving and gaining a better understanding of the world.

8. Rogue One. Dead or alive? ;) I don’t… I don’t understand this question. What do you mean dead? Why would they be dead? Obviously alive… :P

9. You can only eat one food the rest of your life. What is it? (You really didn’t want to ask me this question. I apologize in advance.)

It’s potatoes. There are so many different ways to cook them. I’m assuming that I’m allowed to cook them in different ways? Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew? I mean, in addition to what Samwise already wisely (heyyy) pointed out, there’s baked potatoes, potatoes au gratin, Hasselback potatoes, roasted potatoes — and so many ways to roast them! You can also make french fries, you can make potato chips. Cream of potato soup. Hash browns! Tater tots! Gnocchi! (I have leftover gnocchi from Maggianos in the fridge and it’s time for dinner and guess what I’m doing when I’m done here. I took a break to eat) And honestly?? I’ve only really covered western cooking for potatoes here. I’ve had potatoes in Indian cuisine that is delicious!! I just can’t remember what any of those dishes were called.

Look, I just googled all the ways you can cook potatoes and the first line of the first link that came up said “the potato is the Mariah Carey of vegetables.” They’re not wrong.

10. Give me your Desert Island Discs list. This was very hard and for the record, these only reflect my tastes as of today.

Records:

All This and Heaven Too by Florence + the Machine

Sibelius Symphony No. 2 by Jean Sibelius

While My Guitar Gently Weeps by The Beatles

(Can I count the end of Abbey Road as one medley? I mean, can I just bring Abbey Road? Only one song? FINE) it’s going to be whatever the best cover of Carry That Weight is with the longest jam session in it, research pending

Night on Bald Mountain by Modest Mussorgsky

Between Two Lungs by Florence + the Machine

Cassiopeia by Sara Bareilles

Howl by Florence + the Machine

On the Radio by Regina Spektor

A Day in the Life by the Beatles

Book of my choice: The Golden Compass. But I was very tempted to take Wicked. Gregory Maguire’s prose is next level it’s so beautiful I just…. But he’s a little darker for me. The Golden Compass has been a solid fave for a long time.

One luxury item… pen and paper?

11. What is your favorite curse word? I’m not really creative when it comes to cursing, I generally just say ‘fuck’ a lot.

My questions:

What was your favorite game to play as a child?

You hear just the first few notes of a song, recognize it instantly, and are filled with joy -- what song is it?

Name any goal you ever set for yourself that you are proud to have accomplished.

If you had to pick a senior yearbook quote today, what would it be?

What would your daemon be? (aka an animal manifestation of your ‘inner self’)

What was the first concert you ever went to?

If you were a city, what city would you be and why?

If you could automate a chore so you wouldn’t ever have to do it anymore, what would it be?

What is something you’ve learned in the past year?

Name a person, real or fictional, that has inspired you and explain how.

What is something anyone can do to make the world around them just a little bit better?

Tagging: @ta-dala (you seemed like you wanted more tags, so tagging you back! :) ), @theputterer, @magalis, @latinaspitfire, @thenewleeland, @estherlyon, @thestarbirdfromtheashes, @jenniferjuni-per, @lustfulpasiphae, @caffeinosis, @imsfire2 (and of course the disclaimer: no pressure/no worries if you don’t want to do it! and apologies if you’ve done it already)

#tag meme #personal #about me #liz rants

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