#ok but can they hire me

[forestshadow-wolf]

Both ghost and soap are the kinds of people to be silent when they have actual problems, but they complain nonstop when it a minor inconvenience. They are absolutely insufferable when they're sick, but it's okay, they love eachother... (unfortunately)

#hey google! where can I hire someone to murder me... i don't want to be sick anymore 😞 #ok I'll get to writing soon i swear just let me be dramatic first #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soapghost #ghostsoap #call of duty #cod #cod mw2 #el rambles

[nevertheless-moving]

Hesina Willshaper AU

Step one canon divergence: Amaram's army doesn't do the kind thing. Kaladin's listed next of kin are sent a letter stiffly informing them that their son is a deserter and, thanks to the highmarshall's mercy, has been sold into slavery.

Step two canon divergence: a light spren has started following Hesina around.

The letter reaches hearthstone.

Hesina cries the bones of the first ideal through labor pangs. Their wretched diamond lamp grows slightly dimmer during childbirth.

Hesina and Lirin discuss if there's anyway they could possibly find their son and pay his slave debt. They're not optimistic.

Hesina talks with her lightspren.

Lirin and Hesina talk again about trying to find their son, now that Oroden is starting to be weaned.

Hesina appears to have grown taller. No one but the two of them seem to be aware but they're worried other future changes might be more noticeable.

Hesina and Lirin realize that she can mold rock as if it was clay with stormlight. A spark of hope for freeing their son emerges.

The two leave town.

They find a slave market in the nearest city. They see other parent's sons, but not their own.

Hesina swears to free those in bondage. Stormlight starts coming easier.

They make a tunnel. Rebellion follows. Lirin is horrified by the violence (the violence is not actually that bad all things considered. a couple guards dead. some bystanders frightened. Fair amount of property damage as they rob the military barracks food supply, steal every sphere that's not nailed down. and also steal the spheres that are nailed down. (Lirin won't admit it but the stealing from lamps part is kindof fun.)).

Many of those they freed flee. Some return to slavery willingly, scared of retribution. Many decide to follow the Radiant woman who has vowed to see others like them freed.

The group proceed to the next town. They find another slave market. They make a tunnel. There is more resistance than last time, clearly they were warned something might happened. Hesina kills a man.

Lirin is terrified by what his wife is becoming.

Hesina swears to shelter those without homes. The lightspren forms an unbreakable hammer, perfect for knocking crem free from buildings. And for knocking down men.

A now larger motley group seeks shelter in a mountain town razed in one of Alethkar's many skirmishes over the last decades. Hesina builds homes. Lirin begs her to stay here, to stop fighting before she goes to far down this path, not to go to war. The slaves they've freed are split, many wanting to stay, hide, some wanting to fight and free more, with a radiant at their head, there's a real chance to change things. Hesina lingers, practicing, spends some time falling in and out of shadesmar.

Lirin and Hesina separate.

Lirin stays with Oroden and the noncombatants. Hesina leads those who want to fight to another city, still trying to find their son, still trying to free everyone's children.

The town settles into a routine. Hesina and Lirin miss one another. This is the first time they've gone longer than two days without seeing each other in the last 25 years, and the two days was only when Lirin had to travel to where someone had overturned a cart on the road nearby and Hesina had to stay and watch the children, too young to travel. besides that, it had been every day. they keep turning to talk to each other.

While the army is gone, the free town is attacked by those trying to reclaim her property.

Hesina swims deliberately through shadesmar for the first time. reaches lirin just in time.

Lirin accepts that not fighting won't stop the violence. (It breaks him just a little bit)

Hesina shouts that one person's freedom ends where another's begins. She vows to fight against powers which would rather see their people in cages then homes. A thousand light spren rise up to grant her strength.

(yes I know she's moving fast through the oaths. but she's always been a thoughtful woman and she raised two children who asked difficult questions and now shes mother to another several hundred. honestly she had already worked through some of these concepts before they became actionable on such a grand scale.)

Lirin vows to support his wife through whatever trials the Almighty seems inclined to put her through.

The lightspren, who has started to get some memories back, remembers Oathgate Spren not terribly far from here by physical realm measurements, guarding a hidden human city

the stone remembers the way the radiants once traveled.

The path to a kingdom in the sky is slow — there are many cages to break on the way.

Kaladin doesn't know it right away, because people weren't exactly telling slaves about the freedom riots, but slave wagons start having harder and harder times reaching the shattered planes after him.

Someone mocks Lirin for having a wife so determined to pursue the masculine art of war. Lirin gets pissy and decides to show them by learning to read and write to help support the administrative side of his wife's kingdom wide asskicking.

The highprinces lead a fairly successful misinformation campaign about the slave riots, lots of accusations of rampant violence, the dregs of society lashing out, you can probably imagine

The ongoing rebellion is large enough that word trickles to the bridge crews, encouraging bridge four's hope for escaping, while also making it substantially more daunting, as the crews are even better guarded than canon.

Rumors of a female radiant swirl around. Most people assume it's a woman in shardplate with some sort of tunneling fabrial, which is still pretty crazy, but several major players Take Note

A very large and tired huddled mass of people reach Urithiru. there's just enough squires, and two new willshapers with their own oaths, to make tunnels through the shattered planes and reach the oathgate without being seen by the alethi armies

the parshendi army is another story, but some are willing to take a chance listening to the neshua kadal, and come with them.

The political implications of Dalinar freeing 1000 slaves is slightly more complex, especially considering the rebellions have been impacting Sadeas the hardest

About a week after being freed, Kaladin hires a spanreed intermediary to write home and find out if his hometown is alright (again, a lot of misinformation and rumors about the violence of the riots)

Is informed by Laral that his family left town looking for him shortly before the riots started, were presumed dead

Kaladin is under the impression that 1) his parents are dead because of him 2) the Rebellion is not the righteous fallback plan that he and the men were hoping it was.

Hesina has many reasons to go to the shattered planes. Nearest part of the trade network for food and necessary goods. Many slaves to be freed from there, and a part of her still hopes to find her son, even thought its been so long. Home of Alethkar's political leaders, the source of Alethkar's slavery.

I have spent. A LOT of time imagining many possible reunions between kaladin and his mom in my highly specific high oath hesenia au. She has a couple faces she could wear when visiting the planes. Brightlady. Radiant. Cagebreaker. Queen of Urithiru (not her real title, they're tentatively trying the Listener council model, but they know what the Alethi will understand). Even darkeyed mother, if she and Lirin approach slowly from a different direction. Honestly, pleased as I am with all of the above, a lot is flexible, the key here is kaladin going "MOM??" In some fashion One possible Reunion Here

Thank you @sorchasolas for conversation and the urithiru ideas and for leading me to actually write all this down <3

#stormlight archive #my au #stormlight au no 2 #hesina cagebreaker #the stormlight archive #stormlight au #Hesina willshaper au #ok for the growing taller thing: hear me out! #like she's a tall woman #she can reach the crem on most rooftops with her crempick #like 95 percent of the rooftops #and that 5 percent of rooftops that she can't quite reach she always forgets to bring a stepstool #so she's a tall woman. but her Identity is that of an even taller woman. #do you see my vision #Lirin leaves to bring her the little stepstool because she always forgets when she's hired to clear the baker's building. #but she doesn't need it #he had noticed...but he had honestly just assumed he had gotten shorter. musculoskeletal atrophy happens to men of a certain age. #he's on the younger side but the heralds know it's been a difficult few years. he didn't bring it up but neither did his wife #now he's looking at his wife and is: #Lirin: I am certain you needed a ladder to reach this roof before #Hesina: I did? Are you sure? #Lirin: yes I'm sure you always—Hesina! #Hesina: what? #Lirin: i am. CONFIDENT. that for the last 20 years my eyes have been level with your chin. #Lirin: not your... #Hesina: not my...? #Lirin: #Hesina: #and then they go bone #ok i'm done thank you for listening <3

[thepoisonroom]

that post that's like "learning social skills helps with social anxiety" applies to dating also btw

#i guess they have a circular relationship because also going on lots of first dates was really trial by fire for me in learning lots lf #new social skills #meeting new people was never my strong suit and i was very afraid of it and would avoid it but like! #when i first tried going on first dates i learned a lot about how to meet people and met types of queer people i'd never met before #and actually it was good for me even though it was often weird and stressful #and it was a lower-stakes way to practice social skills that i otherwise would've just avoided using until they atrophied #anyway whenever i see a dating profile that's like 'i'm afraid of talking to women lol' i'm like ok relatable but what's your plan to learn #i think also just like it doesn't have to be through dating but it is good for you to meet other gay and trans people offline if possible #when i moved to wisconsin i only knew my coworkers who were mostly also twentysomethings who'd been hired straight from college #and it was good for me to meet and make friends with other local gay and trans people who were involved in different stuff #idk i just don't know how many more 'i'm obsessed with romance but scoff at the idea that i should do anything about that' posts i can read #like if i said i wanted to run a marathon but i never practiced running people would fairly be like okay that's prob not gonna happen #idk i know it's no skin off my nose i'm just like. if you never take any steps towards expressing your desires #how do you think they're going to just happen to you #personal nonsense

[moeblob]

What Deacon thinks: what did that mean? did he want me to wear a collar too? why else would he mention my neck? i mean, if he /asked/ me i would wear one but he didn't so would wearing one be weird?

What Ymber meant: It's nice to be near someone who isn't tethered to this world to serve it with a physical reminder for all to see.

#my characters #this just in ! thats why all the deities in the plot have collars and a chain ! #its because THATS THEIR DESIGNATED I AM HERE TO HELP THIS WORLD SYMBOL #they cant remove their collars and thats fine by them - its a constant reminder that they exist to serve #deacon really shouldnt get as much crap as he gets in canon for being weird cause the deities are just a different brand of weird #like its not deacons fault that apparently you can say nice neck with no underlying desire #but he cant say hi would you please possess me i want to know what its like to have someone else in my body #like thats really not something you should pin on deacon YET EVERY deity is like wow what a lil weirdo #he also just really wants to please ymber so if ymber asked he would definitely do whatever #on the flip side i need to point out that deacon very specifically doesnt ask ymber for things nor does he pray for things #and it drives ymber up a wall because this is his favorite human who wont ask for anything and he isnt a psychic #he doesnt know what deacon wants or needs and its infuriating cause he exists to serve humanity #and yet this ONE GUY wont let him do things for him #this is very important and i cant believe i mentioned it like a month ago to someone and today #i received gift art of these two and i may never recover #its so perfect and its ymber just looming over deacon telling him that he can pray about anything to him #its also worth pointing out that when i was telling the person about the whole ymber begging for a prayer #its because he realizes that after all this time hes never had a single prayer from deacon - not before nor after the hire #so hes like oh well thats odd hmm #and then begins to talk to deacon like you know people pray to me for lots of things #and deacon looks at him unsure of what this is leading to - did someone offer a weird prayer? ask a weird thing? whatst? #and no - its just ymber saying that people will pray for wealth or an item #or they will express frustration if something is lost or broken despite it not being ymbers fault so deacon just stares #he has no idea what this is going to end on really so he points out 'well you do like to think you break people' #and ymber just ASDFASDFSADF STOP OK NEXT POINT people pray to me to bless relationships with happiness #and thats fascinating so deacon is like wow can you actually do that? #and ymber is so stressed as hes like i mean kinda i can simply amplify the positive emotions in gestures #like if someone gives an item out of love then its blessed #he also admits that he cant mask insincerity or malice so those feelings are not hidden nor amplified #and deacon just is impressed bc that is actually VERY cool

[cloudysfluffs]

i think getting tickled would fix him

(ns//fw and/or fetish blogs please dni🙏🙏)

#sorry i havent posted tk art in 300 million years. u know how it is #nyway cartoon network hire me i NEEEEDD to kill simon /lovingly #i dont know how to tag this uhh #tickle art #my art #fionna and cake tickle #adventure time tickle #< probably more accurate .....but i fucking LOVE marcys fac des she is CUTE!!!!!! #i have so so so many tk ideas about this show (foaming at the mouth) #everyone whos reading this legally has to go follow tickletails bc they make the BEST content for this fandom. best content in general tbh #tickling #ok thats it i guess #OH OH people have been telling me to make than snm art.......SO MAYBE I WILL #i have a sketch done already. take this for now tho #ill probably post one art of salmon macks themsleves and then one of my obscure little blorbo #so that people who like snm but odnt care about him can chave their own thing. yknow #well see #lee!simon petrikov #ler!marceline abadeer

[doodlebloo]

God I love my internship so much I could cry this is literally my dream job

#idk what I'll do if they dont hire me #this is like. i didnt even know this job existed and now im here getting to be a part of the BEGINNINGS of all this cool shit!!! #I can so easily see myself like 40 years down the line still here talking abt how ive been here since the beginning #sorry for gushing but god it's so cool here i love promoting the arts in my own community & everyone is so nice here :(( #OK DONE NOW LOL good luck back at school fellow scholars 👍 #doodle.txt

[dkettchen]

me waking up in a cold sweat at 6:20am: "I should get evening classes to be a hair dresser & training to be a makeup artist to be my own hair/make-up person on photo/video shoots and defy industry's single-gender-dominated-and-not-improving department segregation system like the all-rounder online creator that I am 👀😤"

#I swear I don't have adhd or anything I am just having a professional existential crisis recently x'D #ok but hear me out right like how useful would it be if people could hire someone who's a one-person videographer AND hair/make-up person! #I could like double my asking rate! #you need to do one before you can do the other anyway so why have two people for it #other than that the hair/make-up women don't specialise in photography #and the videographer lads have never touched a cosmetic product let alone knowing how to use it to any level let alone a professional one #AND I'd be able to offer hiring me as either role OR both at once #I'd have more options for jobs to apply to #and I'd have full control over the look I want from my subjects #cause like I do my own hair & make-up for my videos #like I know how to cut my own hair & do my own make-up #but I wanna learn how to do ANYONE'S!!! #and I know you can do hair dressing college evening classes cause I remember that was one of the other evening classes running while I was #doing my electrician's level 2 #and I know there's make-up training places in the city I've seen them before while I was looking up other things #if you do professional hair/make-up you need to take pictures of it for your portfolio anyway #and if you professionally take pictures of people you need to do their hair/make-up anyway to get the look you want #SO WHY NOT BOTH for any reason other than gender roles prohibiting the cishets from learning both skills to the required level!!! #THIS IS MY LEG UP #THIS IS MY QUEER NONBINARY TRANS ADVANTAGE #*evil manic laughter* #edit: and smth smth the thing where women & afab ppl don't do their skills to a professional level #unlike cishet men making everything their job and therefore succeeding professionally even in trad-female dominated skills/industries #hence I should LEARN my matr skills to the level required for professional stuff rather than limit myself to patr skills #that I have a disadvantage with due to cishet male-dominated nature of this industry/tech department #AND it'll give me an opportunity to message my detrans previous hairdresser (as I live too far away from her now) #being like 'u were one of my inspirations for this I also wanna learn how to cut mullets real good hope ur doing well T^T' x'D #AND I could apply to screenskills' trainee finder in another department in a few years regardless of whether or not I get in this year #(I applied to the camera one this year)

[presiding]

What is your favourite thing about Billie Lurk?

(Answers are obvious possibly but i love when people talk about her👍)

thanks for the ask!! YEAH ME TOO I love when people talk about Billie! I can't say I have a favourite thing specifically, but I can explain why she's my fav. apologies for not taking this qn literally, but -

short answer: she’s really cool

& you can stop reading there, or, for the maybe 2 mutuals who might have time to read this my thoughts on her as a character, her meta, and her character as raw potential...

long answer:

i considered making this entire thing a gush so you could read a gush about Billie. but, part of what draws me to her is that she’s not always well written, and in fandom she’s underrated for a literal protagonist.

since you ask...

billie is a cool character

when I played Dh2 (hadn't played Dh1), I was excited to see a black woman with disabilities who was captaining a massive ship by herself. wow.

then I discovered Billie’s backstory with Deirdre, the way she responded to that, then having to survive while living on the run, and her bisexuality. as well as her history with daud & delilah. fascinating!

she’s an outsider who has so much to lose, and knows what it's like to lose everything - having lost everything not once but three times - but nevertheless speaks truth to power. she's so brave! she went and helped Emily & Corvo and she must have known they might kill her! plus, she’s smart, she’s funny, she gets shit done, she’s gorgeous.

but... the meta

mild critique of fandom & arkane incoming.

skip this bit if you want - you've been warned twice now - jump to tired Hayao Miyazaki and read from there if you'd like my thoughts on writing her.

i thought Death of the Outsider was going to be amazing and then... well. *sad trombone* i've written about that before so i won't keep banging on. i figured others must be disappointed too, so I joined a few fandom spaces in hopes of finding camaraderie.

most people with complaints about DotO didn’t like how the Outsider and Daud were handled. which is valid & I agree. but it seemed like most paid no attention to Billie; when people talk about her it’s with respect to Daud, as opposed to in her own right. you could argue for fandom misogyny because people don’t talk about adult Emily Kaldwin that much either, but in Billie's case, it’s misogynoir (compare & contrast with the popularity of thomas, particularly the popularity of thomas portrayed as a white man for no particular reason that i've been able to discern - i keep asking around, is it in the books???).

i think this is a LOT better now than it used to be, which is fantastic. or perhaps i have found the correct echo-chamber? ha.

ultimately, The Fandom is a fraction of the entire picture, and not even the important bit since The Fandom is not who these games are made for. you can't make money relying on only your hardcore fans even if all of them spent a fortune on merch, this is true for any AAA game.

while it's true that Billie is underrated from a fandom perspective - but Billie as an underwritten protagonist is squarely Arkane’s fault.

it was reasonable when she was a side character - the lack of info in Dh2 makes perfect sense (if anything there was more lore in Dh2 which is kind of wild)-

- but as a protagonist in Death of the Outsider?

.... there’s lousy writing, and there’s whatever is going on with Billie Lurk, a black woman who mostly exists as a foil or saviour for light-skinned characters. In her own game there’s barely any of her own lore except where it's relevant to saving two dudes.

lore hints at, but barely touches on what race means in the Dh universe (xenophobia is stronger in Dh1; separate essay i guess), but Arkane has patted themselves on the back for portraying non-white characters, which feels like the same thing as the aesthetic of diversity we're seeing in advertising currently because it’s in marketing trend guides. it's self-congratulatory and it's a missed opportunity for deeper storytelling.

you can see an example of diversity at its most shallow in the way that Billie’s written: there’s little engagement with her as an entire person with history & wants & preferences, and the world she walks through in that game feels like it has nothing to do with her. you could make a case for alienation as a theme, but then, how do you handle the titular premise of 'Dishonored' without ever letting Billie make changes in an environment without a chaos system? it's disappointing from that angle too.

in my opinion, whatever it's worth, it was an accident Arkane created such an awesome character - they needed someone to betray daud. congrats billie.

all this said, it makes her an underdog as far as characters to enjoy & create art & stories for. it's nice to find so many like-minded, switched on people! <3

billie's character potential

she’s got a wealth of unexplored lore, being deeply intertwined with both Karnaca & Dunwall’s fates & criminal underbellies, as well as her connections to the witches & whalers, and three Empresses.

she’s lived a few distinct lifetimes and in the games we get to meet her at two peaks (KoD & DotO) & a low (Dh2 as Meagan).

her voice is very distinct, her dry & often dark humour is entertaining & fun to write. her perspective is really interesting - she’s had the widest variety of void-powers of anyone canonically, and she’s also lived through the highest highs and lowest lows.

she's got everything going for her :) i couldn't really pick a fav thing!

#i assume my followers are cool enough to let me give a brief measured critique on fandom trends and DotO #thanks for the anon question!! what fun! #i love billie lurk <333 #jumped on the opportunity to rant n rave #what part of billie isn't my fav! (im a guy who likes the bad stuff too. mmm interesting meta) #trying to be not unfair or mean- i'm not targeting anyone but rather trends. and it's ok to be disappointed with something you love #fuck it. make it part of the appeal! her writing sucks! plenty of room for me & other creators! #its easier for me to indulge my billie brainworms when it sorta feels like she's not getting as much love as she deserves #you know? i want stories where her history is explored and her agency is important so i guess i'll roll up my sleeves #tumblr is a terrible place for this sort of critique IMO- lots of nuanceless empathy-free guilt-trip-ish rhetoric #so i hope i avoided that. but not so much that i seem forgiving. #that said i'm not tagging this one with fandom tags! no thank you. #i am blaming arkane yes. but that is also not without games industry context #i could complain about amateurish writing but that also never happens in a vacuum. industry problem(s) for sure. #people love to blame writers for things #and yeah a couple really fucking good writers can push a boulder uphill #but its usually a company problem #hire lots of diverse people in your company. give them authority and respect and reasonable workloads. and no crunch. #ah fuck this is a separate essay in tags. again #THIS WAS A SIMPLE QUESTION #*clutches head in hands* #uh if you're still reading at this point im SO sorry and thank you and i love you

[nikatyler]

me: whew a whole day of adulting tomorrow

me: ...

me: time to turn my simself into a vampire

#nika rambles #the vampire brainrot never ends babey #anyway i hate looking for a job dude just hire me i'm desperate and will do almost anything #and since i have a fear of not doing well i will likely do all in my power to be perfect #but that's not exactly what you can say at a job interview now can you #why can't i interview a vampire instead #i mean. well i'm the one being interviewed huh #i hate looking for jobs i hate being an adult i hate it i was not born for this i hate it i hate it #yes this is a childish tantrum to throw no i don't care gnight #we're forever my terrible 19 yo self on this blog ok #if you were there to actually witness and talk to my actual 19 yo self i'm sorry #but also she was pretty #you talked to a very pretty version of me. i miss her #ok idk what i'm talking about actually gnight now

[secret-strawberry]

ive said it before and ill say it again house md needed to do one of those stupid 2000s tv show drama musical episodes. none of the angst would've even mattered to me if house and wilson had a duet about being doctors or whatever

#house md #i have thought about this a LOT #there are so many ways they could've done it and had it not be canon just make it someones hallucination or something #it couldve been for a christmas special #OK BUT HEAR ME OUT THEY DO A CHRISTMAS CAROL PARODY AND HOUSE IS SCROOGE #THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST COULD BE CHASE OR CAMERON FROM HIS OLD TEAM OR EVEN CUDDY TALKING ABOUT BACK WHEN SHE HIRED HIM IDK THERE ARE #POSSIBILIES #i loved the get happy singing sequence and i just think it would be healing to have more of those #we know rsl can sing he used to be a musical kid #and we know jesse spencer can sing bc of when he did in the show and it was randomly great #please i wish they had done this it would make my life #hate crimes md #hilson #james wilson #gregory house #speaking into the ether

[reamed]

ya know what I’m deciding not to give a shit if my job doesn’t like me missing work bcuz I’m in agonizing pain

#txt #it is what it is #fuck it we ball #like idk what else to do #and it really erks me that my boss thinks she has the right to tell me I need to go to the doctor #because bitch I’ve been all my life I’ve been misdiagnosed with stomach viruses utis and it’s never that #I’m not risking being misdiagnosed again. I’m waiting for my gyno appointment bcuz it has fucking everything to do with my period/reproduct #REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS #like hire more people if it’s such a loss when I’m gone ?????? #don’t fucking text me telling me that “As a mom I’d tell my kid to go to the doctor😇 as if my parents aren’t fully aware of the pain I’m in #and have been fully aware since I was 10 years old #I know what’s going on bitch I don’t need to waste money at a walk in clinic for them to tell me I have a uti or my stomach is just hurting #u think jus fucking about with this shit. no I plan for this every month. usually it’s not terrible. this month has been hell #there’s nothing I can do to avoid it. I take meds and they barely do anything #i deserve to rest bcuz I’ve been busting my ass this year and last through this pain #i can afford to miss a few days off work. sorry yall can’t #I’m sorry for ranting this had jus been an issue my whole life. they used to grill me as a kid at school for missing #and it reminds me of that so much and it makes me feel like a child again #being told It’s JuSt period CrAmpS just TakE medicine #meanwhile I’m literally puking from pain #meanwhile my insides feel like they are blistering and on fire and my lower body is being yanked to the floor #ok sowwy I’m gonna go cry about it now

[snapbackslide]

Arber Xhekaj's favourite things

23.01.31 | by Montreal Canadiens @CanadiensMTL / canadiens.com

ONE RESTAURANT PEOPLE MUST TRY

Chef's in Buffalo. My junior coach Jay McKee played in Buffalo, so that was his favourite spot. They're famous for their meat sauce, and their chicken parm is my favourite thing on the menu. They give you really good portions. He took our junior team there one time, and I stop by every time I'm in Buffalo ever since. I took the boys there too, and they seemed to really like it. It's a good spot.

ONE ACCOUNT PEOPLE MUST FOLLOW

This guy on TikTok, Bayashi. He has videos of him cooking and putting together food, and it's probably the most satisfying thing. He's good. I get hungry when I watch him.

ONE MOVIE PEOPLE MUST WATCH

Avatar. I like everything about it. It's just cool. I've only watched it, like, three times -- I don't like to watch my top movies a lot because I like them so much. I don't want to ruin them for myself. I haven't seen the second one, but I want to. No one wants to see it with me just because it's so long.

ONE FUN FACT PEOPLE MUST KNOW ABOUT YOU

I like cars. I like working on cars and trying to do things like build them myself. I can do suspensions, spark plugs, intakes, wheels, tires, brakes. I can do most of that stuff. I can't really take engines and all, but...

[What is the most satisfying project you've worked on?] Honestly, none of it is satisfying because you think it's only going to take 30 minutes and then one bolt is rusted in, or something doesn't go right, and you break something. Then you're there for four to five hours and you're wondering why you like cars or why you're working on them.

[Do you work on cars in a shop?] Yeah. I'll go out, work out, skate, and then go to my shop and just mess around in there. My four buddies and I share a rented-out shop in Hamilton. We've got our cars in there and chill, hang out and mess around.

[Has anyone hired you to work on their car?] I practice on my own cars, but I've done some stuff on my siblings' cars. I've done a lot of stuff for my brother's car, whenever he needs me to, and my sister's car too. I'll change their tires if they need it.

ONE CAR PEOPLE SHOULD DRIVE

An Audi RS4 (B7). I'm looking to buy one. I went to go see one, but they're kind of expensive, and I've never spent a lot of money on cars. I looked at one and test drove it. Maybe I'll buy it soon.

ONE MUSIC ALBUM PEOPLE SHOULD ADD TO THEIR COLLECTION

Dangerous by Morgan Wallen. I like all the songs. I know every word to all of them. They're all so good. I like Quittin' Time and Wasted On You. I had tickets to his show once, but I was playing in the Memorial Cup. I have some buddies coming to Montreal, and I'm going to see him here, or I might just buy some tickets in London. 

There's also Beerbongs & Bentleys by Post Malone. My favourite song would probably be Better Now.

ONE BRAND/TYPE OF CLOTHING PEOPLE MUST TRY

I have a lot of lululemon, their stuff is really good. It's comfy, and it never shrinks in the dryer or anything. It lasts forever if you take good care of it.

#such 22 year old vibes this guy #i'm so sorry abt the m*rgan w*llen mention #hockey players all love him fr #trash person but like.. i enjoy that album too...... unfortunately #i'll have the songs play in my head so i can listen to them without supporting him 🤣 #anyway um #hey arber can i hire you to fix my car and change my tires #i'll pay you in uhh.. compliments #why did they have kaiden drive in the timmies video if arber loves cars so much #the whole thing is a copy pasta except for the 'favorite's 🙄🙄🙄 #could we honour our team name and actually be canadian ffs #ok i'm done yapping now #WAIT NO IM NOT #WE LITERALLY JUST TALKED ABT AVATAR WITH MY FRIENDS #AND HOW NONE OF US WANTED TO GO CAUSE IT WAS SO LONG #HAHAHAHAHA ok that was only funny to me anyway #arber xhekaj #montreal canadiens #*a

[moregraceful]

someone cold emailed me to ask if i was going to a writer's conference in los angeles and was putting together a panel or caucus for queer poets or if i knew anyone who was...buddy you are severely overestimating how much i network with other poets (i don't) and how often i attend writer's conferences (never) 😭

#''do you know of any other poets going'' no?? bc i hate networking with other poets???? #LIKE ARE THEY LESS ANNOYING THAN WHEN I WAS 23? IDK? MAYBE? #i feel like most things these days are less annoying than when i was 23 #or maybe i'm just better equipped to deal with annoying things than when i was 23 #yesterday i was talking to someone about my ethos wrt a class i ran last fall and he stopped me in the middle and was like #you're amazing. that class was a hot mess and you still had fun and found the good in it #like no i'm not amazing. i'm just in my thirties and it takes a lot more than other people's mental health crises to throw me off my game #he was pretty ticked off in the fall when i told him the like depth of crisis multiple students were in bc he thought i should have told hi #i was like idk it did not occur to me to ask for help. he was like you're doing daily check ins to make sure your students are eating?? #idk!! it didn't bother ME my job was just to make sure they were still alive! i mean my job was actually to teach liberation theology but #like i was not good at that. but i DO know how to be annoying until people feel less like killing themselves and more like killing me #anyway all that to say i can't wait to see how much less bothered i am in my 40s #i hope i have reached such a state of zen by age 50 that my spirit is unruffled by anything and anyone #i hope i float through life in a fine mist of okayness #someone says ''oh my god kasper my life is falling to pieces'' and i say ok 👍 we can get through this together👍 #what was this post about??? oh right networking #good networking: librarians bc you just go ''is your manager batshit insane'' and they go THIS PLACE MAKES ME SUICIDAL #and then you're friends for life #bad networking: poets (when i was 23) because all they do is name drop (when i was 23) and expect you to have opinions (i don't) #this post is wildly overconfident in my zen considering i'm so bored of being unemployed that i keep looking at teamworkonline #bhawks are hiring for a social media manager btw. imagine having that kind of access to mr 🥺. i'd literally only do paid advertising #to gay men #i'm not applying bc social media management would actually break my sobriety i am pretty sure #but imagine having connor bedard at your disposal and being like ok kid. we r gonna catfish some gays into caring about the bhawks #basically what i do with the cuda blog lol #ok ok ok i'm done. posting. goodbye. livejournal mode de-activate #fresno oilers.txt

[polithicc]

started my period and now im evil

#ok gonna rant in the tags bc i need to just let it out and then i can be normal again #i was literally in and out of meetings all day so i got 0 actual work done #i dont feel good and ive been so nauseous #i had half of a sandwich in the conference room while handling a fucking disaster #it's so unbearably hot today #i wore the wrong pants so i had to safety pin them and then i looked weird #the pants are also too long #i was so overstimulated in the metro #that i got home took off my clothes by the front door and went straight to bed to lay on top of my duvet #and its thursday so its a chores day for me #so i need to clean my house #i also need to find the time to fix the dress im wearing to the gala next week #my hair is dirty #i ran out of primer and felt oily all day #also i scratched my glasses #i made coffee had three sips and then forgot to bring it to work #i had an anxiety attack and stood in thje hallway to calm myself down #just to then have the most awkwaerd interaction with the new hire who was coming out of the bathroom \ #in conclussion #fighting for my life a bit today

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

god. sometimes i really hate those "10 jobs that you can do WITHOUT a qualification that pay over 100k" and they list something like "human resource management" 130k a year!!! when like. EVERY fucking HR job (and other jobs like this, say like librarian- something that i PAID 17k for and burnt out for in postgrad lmao) strictly DEMAND that candidates must have 1-2 years experience AND an HR DEGREE.

very, very, very, very rarely i see something in HR requiring a TAFE (aussie technical college) certificate (ie MUCH cheaper- 7k) or a diploma in HR. it's almost always a degree, barely EVER "no quals or equivalent experience or similar quals"... even for entry level jobs in hr or most defs management positions.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona's jobhunting thoughts and woes lol #ilona's work thoughts #ilona's work dilemmas #and also where are the mysterious “skills based” employers i keep reading about in financial review and on LI #they seem to be fucking lying to me bc fucking low-level employers are demanding the WORLD for even good range income jobs #i do NOT need a HR degree to learn how to learn how to write GOOD job ads #not some of the trash i've been seeing lately and have posted/bitched about on here #ok yeah i get a qual in hr would teach me about relevant legislation in fair work and hiring and award wages and wages etc #which is fair enough...... but ALSO why the fuck can you just teach me on the job about it??? instead of demanding a whole ass fucking cour #*degree/course #.....for it/about it??? mfer i'm NOT paying another 30k (or possibly more) for a commerce degree majoring in hr or even 7k for a tafe qual #it CANNOT be impossible or fucking hard for you to teach/train me in entry level hr admin and hr stuff for the love of FUCK #same gows for office admin positions DEMANDING either from a cert 3 to diploma in business to do front desk admin/admin assistant jobs #i did find one the other day that demanded applicants have a degree in business admin for entry level or even an MBA #WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WANTING THAT FOR WHEN YOU'RE PAYING $26 to $30 an HOUR???????? fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fucking LAUGHABLE

[yappacadaver]

and it's like despite all the awful shit he's done and continues to do, like, i get it. he's employed like 24/7/365. he never got to live a life, despite spending a childhood clinging to the hope of having one someday. He knew companionship and love but lost it and can't ever get it back. His circumstances are so anomalous and gruesome that it completely isolates him from pretty much every other human being on the planet. he knows hell is real and he is basically guaranteed to go there if he can't break this demon curse thing.

like it doesn't make the kidnapping and spreading the curse around any better, but i do get it.

#like personally i don't blame him for the actual murders #and it's hard to blame him for hiring people without telling them because like lol. #anyone who's like 'oh he should just tell ppl about the demons' like what are you onnnnnn if you went to a job interview with a creepy old #guy and he started talking about demons and hauntings and shit you would think you're being pranked or that he's lost his damn mind #and fuck offffff with the 'ohhh not me im a quirky bean i'd love to take a job if the interview was like that' like sure. ok. maybe YOU wou #but what are the odds that milford in 1998 coming off the satanic panic has a thousand yous running around waiting to be hired #like i honestly dont have any suggestions for how he could have handled the hiring situation any better #now the actual JOB i have plenty of feedback #like yea he should be there to train your ass against the demons lol we got more hands-on guidance for the embalming (the non deadly part) #but like the whole 'raymond is evil cause he kills possessed ppl and hires people without telling them abt demons' #do you think that old man can run the whole mortuary by himself and also have time to teach classes #until he inevitably dies from either stress or the demons and is sent to hell (which he knows is real)? #it's my understanding that by having others around who can help him fight the demons he'll have the spare time to figure out how to #break out of the demon curse or break possession or literally any useful information that could treat the disease and not the symptoms #he is running out of time!!! he is only getting older and the demons are only getting more frequent and someday he won't be fit enough #to properly banish them!!! if you even care!!!!!!!!! #fucking tag essay lmao #mr delver i wont u...