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whore-era · 1 year

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collage!ellie x reader hcs? <3

a/n: im gonna assume u meant college!ellie so HERE IT GOES just for you anon friend <3 sorry for how short it is kfkdkkd

tlou 2 university: college!ellie x reader headcanons <3 18+

i have a feeling ellie is either a biology major, engineering major, or a physics/astrophysics major (cuz our girl loooves space), meaning she's extremely intelligent and does very well in class!! she's always answering the professor's questions, taking notes, paying attention. when you struggle with any science/math related subjects, she's ALWAYS willing to tutor you. but, this doesn't mean she's just gonna give you the answers, she's gonna make sure you actually learn and study, even using any means possible — like having you strip off a piece of clothing every time you get an answer wrong and making it a fun time for the both of you.

when you have important projects/papers/quizzes/exams to do that day, she'll make sure to send an encouraging message. don't get me wrong, she always does, but on especially important days like these, she'll always make sure to send an extra special one <3 'good morning baby! you're gonna fucking KILL this chemistry exam babe! you worked your ass off and you're gonna do amazing and get the highest score ❤️ i love you my smart girl let me know what you get when you're done' 'ty els <3 i love you most babe ! i'm abt to start talk to u laterrrr 🏃🏻‍♀️'

ellie will always fulfill her girlfriend duties and walk you to and pick you from classes! even tho she's always a tiny bit late because your class was all the way across campus from hers, but she wants to make sure you're protected and safe so she doesn't care either way! and she'll always carry your books for you, making sure you don't strain or 'hurt' yourself (her words not yours). "els, i have two, capable working arms!!" you whine, as she takes the textbook off your hands, "and so? what if you get a muscle spasm? or you sprain your hand?" she retorts, "by a two pound book?" ellie shrugs, "the possibility is never zero, babe."

when ellie has a project or an essay to work on, it'll be a little difficult to reach her as she gets in the zone when she's working. you'll probably send her some texts throughout the day to check in on her, but as the day progresses you'll find yourself worrying and thinking about stopping by her dorm with dinner because you already know she hadn't ate all day from being cooped up in her room typing away:

you - 9:30 am: els! just got out of class!! gnna go get some lunch w jesse :) hope ur doin okay <3

you - 11:45 am: miss u babe hope ur work is coming along great !!!

you - 2:21 pm: havent heard from u......kinda worried....hope u have been eating n staying hydrated missy >:(

you - 5:56 pm: ok i'm On my way! to ur dorm rn w/ dinner i already know u haven't ate yet n ur gonna feel my wrath

you - 5:56 pm: ignore that extremely enthusiastic On my way! it autocorrected im still mad at u

hearing the booming pounding on her door, ellie takes off her earbuds and walks to the door, opening it. to her surprise, you're standing there, take-out in hand, and a grumpy expression gracing your face. "do you know what time it is? have you even ate yet, ellie williams-miller?" ellie grimaces at the sound of her full, government name leaving your lips. "i'm so sorry, babe. i was working all day, i didn't even realize how much time had passed 'til you showed up," ellie mutters, her stomach grumbling on cue. you hand her the take-out from her favorite spot on campus, and she graciously takes it from your hands. "you better be thankful you have a very caring and worrisome girlfriend, els," you say, "i really missed you today." a smile curls on ellie's lips, "i know, baby. here, let me take a little break from my paper, and i'll make it up to you, yeah?"

and that night, ellie was extremely thankful she worked on most of her paper, as she completely disregarded anymore work as she decided she'd rather fulfill her appetite by eating you out instead. leaving her take-out cold and untouched. but hey, she held her part of the deal and indeed made it up to you.

that was also how 5 papers ended up taped up against her dorm-room door, complaining of the 'fucking loud ass moans' the morning after.

"how'd they even know it was us?" ellie queries, reading over the complaints. "oh wait, it says here 'please tell your girlfriend to keep it down. she was screaming your name all night. thank you for reminding us who lives in dorm 114.'" needless to say, you were red as a tomato and it gutted you to leave her dorm, feeling everyone's eyes on you as you walked down the hall.

let me know if yall would like more college!ellie hcs!! <3

#ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie williams tlou #the last of us #the last of us ellie #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #tlou #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams fluff #ellie x reader hc #college!ellie williams

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your-friendly-sociopath · 10 months

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Hear me out can you please do a yandere Amity or Hunter with a quiet and gentle darling that wears Jirai Kai fashion because of their social anxiety and abandonment issues so they wear Jirai Kai fashion because it's cute and it works as a coping mechanism

And can it be with a darling doesn't fight back even after being kidnapped by them as long as they don't try to harm the darling they have no reason to try to fight back or run away

By the way how are you

Interesting, I'ma do amity grown up married to luz, it can be like a platonic yandere couple thing for the reader..

Also I'm doing fine, sorry for taking literally forever to post, I'm the master of procrastination

PLATONIC Yandere Amity x Luz w/ child reader

Both women are in their late thirties early forties with no children as of yet

Until they meet you

Luz was the first one to meet you

You were at the palismen forest meeting with Hunter to get your own magical companion when she bumped into you

You apologized profusely, worried shed yell at you, but pleasantly surprised when she brushed it off

Hunter saw you two interacting and introduced the two of yall

Immediately you two hit it off, bonding over your mutual love for Azura

When you got your own palismen (ur fav animal, I'm not choosing for u) you said good bye to luz and flew away

Luz watched you go with a faint smile on her face, you reminded her of herself when she was younger

Luz went home and told amity all about you

Amity was intrigued with you and decided she must meet you herself

So a week later you "accidentally" bumped into Amity at the library

She noticed you holding all the Azura books, barely able to see over them, and offered to help you carry them

When the two of you dropped the books down on an unoccupied table, you noticed a picture and amity and luz fall from her pocket

Your eyes widened when you realized that this was the amity luz had mentioned a few times

Amity smiled when you pointed out her picture, asking if she was Luz's wife

Before she could respond, you bombarded her with questions about both the human realm and humans, never having gotten the chance to go yourself

Amity gently placed her hand on your shoulder and cut you off, saying she and Luz would be happy to answer any questions you had

Your smile grew wide as you nodded vigorously, happy to know that, unlike other adults in your life, she didn't reject you or shut you down

The two of you agreed to meet up at their place in a day or two

As soon as amity got home, she told Luz the good news

Both of them were beyond happy

Any attempts to have children (whether magically or by adopting) had failed in the past, and they saw you as a chance to start a family

They just didn't know if you would agree or not

So they planned to slip sleeping nettles in your drink when you visited, and keep you as their own child

Little did they know, you would have been overjoyed at the opportunity of having loving parents, considering how you had none of your own

So when you went over to their place, you were completely unsuspecting

It went really well for the first half hour, then they have you a drink, and moments later, you collapsed

When you woke up you were in a room not your own, with the door locked and your magic restrained (just to be safe)

Then Luz and Amity walked in, each sitting on each side of the bed next you

They explained how you were going to be stuck with them (preferably forever, but they didn't say that) and said they were adopting you, whether you liked it or not ( ok they didn't say that exactly but it was implied)

Instead of fighting back or getting upset, you simply smiled and slowly let yourself relax, relieved that they didn't have worse intentions and happy that someone actually wanted you

Amity and Luz were surprised, then ecstatic

They hugged you close, happy to finally have a child of their own

You were absolutely perfect for them

"Don't worry mi hija, we'll keep you safe,"

"Yes, you'll never be in danger or lonely again, now that your ours ~ "

Ok the options were Hunter and amity, but I already did Hunter and can't imagine amity a yandere if luz isn't one as well

#the owl house #toh #yandere owl house #yandere toh #platonic yandere toh #platonic yandere owl house #luz x amity

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thaliatimsh · 1 year

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*dj khaled voice* another one im sowwy 👼 in your opinion, what do you consider to be the most logical ending for rat boy: high chaos or low? 👀 BUT!!! if you could rewrite his ending, what would it be?? 👀😈 always love reading your thoughts!!! 🐣🔥💕🔥💕🔥 *monkeys hugging gif*

OOOOUGHGABOOGA thank YOUUUU WE DA BEST! GibbonHug dot GIF I am thinking Thinkging NEVER apologise im so glad to be made to Think.. hm…. I know you said abt Dear Rat Boy but i think this is connected to his loyalisms so… aw shit here i go again

Like honestly? I think that the Story of dishonored makes more sense in high chaos - I cannot patch together WHY the Three Amigos would even AGREE to try to off Corvo in low chaos! Like I said abt it being Hamhock's Ambition's Fault but… idk that Martini and Treachery would both agree with his Idea in LC…

In high chaos my feeling is that Martini and the hamhock came to the idea because HOLY SHIT this guy has got to be STOPPED - not just before he comes for us but also before his Villainy destroys everything they've worked for… treachery says uh…. Ok. Sure thing boys. My loyalisms is all i got and i dont wanna be on the end of corvo's knife…

Meanwhile in low chaos it's like.

How fucked would it be if everyone found out that the guy who cleared up all of the Corrupt City Officials was ALSO working for us before we swept in and Fixed It All.. now hang on a minute! If anything that legitimises them???? So idk WHY if Hamhock went "we gotta get corbo outta da way" pornstar martini didnt say "no we dont" - I mean I think Treachery is not inclined to Rock The Boat, so he would Voice An Opposing Opinion ONLY if he was not alone in it and either way at that point? It's less Boat Rocky to disagree w The Hamhock than it is to Literally Kill Corvo

Low Chaos Corvo's a man who causes Hurt only to Proven Enemies… which is why I had to write high chaos for nlwib: even if Light At The End is. Completely Bonkers borderline surreal - the events LEADING to it make sense in a fucked way? I mean either is I guess logical for rattie because… he will follow the others. And I do think he would follow Hammy over Martini - treachery & havelock do seem to have a kind of? Mutual admiration? Whereas he & Martin dont really ever have anythinf to say abt one another? So when The Girls Are Fightiiiiing in HC it's like. Sickos YES! Tried to screw me, didn't you my lord pendleton!!! Bet you're sorry now, boyo! Theyre Inned Sane I love it!!!

Ok i dont think that really answered ur question but. I guess what I mean is that what treachery does in hc makes more sense bc what martini does makes more sense?

But I tell you whatever ending he gets I STILL wish that he could Survive. Like do you ever think that. No matter what changes the only characters who Always Die are: Jessamine (rip legend), Lydia Brooklaine (MY WIFE), Mistuh Wallace Higgins (my blorbo) and LORD TREAVOR PENDLETON…. (My pet 🐀) and… I dont think it's fair i think i should be allowed to save them actually!!! SO.

Basically: i think the canon ending should be the loyalists get sent to prison and have to do this:

Then they get exiled to tyvia or some shit.

Actually I tell you what WOULD be fucked is if in low chaos Hammy had done Corvo in himself? Uhoh boys, Corb's dead… im gonna stop thinkgin abt this idea before i start trying to write another fic I'll never finish. Oops.

ThaNK YOU im kiss kiss hmm thinkign.

#sorry long poste again!#i just get HMMMMMMM

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thisdreamplace · 2 years

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Hi darling <3

Ok I have lots of questions and I really need your help :))

I have some fundamental problems about the basics of loa , they say know what you want then assume and persist. Ok but I don't get it!? Like how should I assume or how should I change my assumptions about different concepts or problems in life while I have lived with them my whole life , how can I change my mindset?

And Ok after this step how am I supposed to know that the process is on track? Like how can I find out that my assumptions have successfully changed or shifted?

Also what should we do with all of these negative thoughts and doubts? There are these voices in the back of my head that just don't shut up :/ it's like thay are on repeat and whenever I want to think positively they start all over again that : no you can't do anything or be anything , you always fail ...

And when it comes to belief , I have a 50 / 50 kind of belief . I have manifested stuff before but yk stuff like chocolates , coffee , snacks and signs but when it comes to shifting or getting into void my brain goes crazy and voices start all over again but they become even worse some times : no these are impossible, you can only manifest normal stuff , you are not really that powerful, lol you really thought you are God?

Have you seen people who have manifested even with doubts? I have created this belief for myself recently that you can't do anything unless you believe in it completely and whole heartedly but now I feel like it's more like making obstacle for me so now everyone who have first shifted didn't even have a little doubt? Idk it's bugging me sm .

Oh also another thing , they say affirm but mehhhh I don't feel good about affirming like it sounds so fake and weird to me , I was affirming that yes you are God, you can absolutely shift in seconds but you know I caught myself telling myself well you have never shifted stop fooling yourself you are not gonna shift anywhere you are stuck in your bad life and bad circumstances.

Do you have anyway on how to make the feeling of knowing? It seems like I can't just know or make the feeling of knowing no matter what . I'm in this endless loop of trying to understand and apply law and run away from this life but it seems like it's never gonna finish and I'm getting tired of myself.

Ok I'm so sorry this was soooo long I just didn't know who should I ask :) you are the only person who talks in an understandable way .

Thank you in advance for answering ❤

hi bestie <3

u can change ur mindset bc ur not actually tied to it. the only reason why ur mindset persists, is bc u persist in it. it’s ur habit, and now ur practicing a new habit until it becomes ur default habit !

the only way u know the process is on track is by knowing ur inner world. don’t be fooled — the outer world doesnt validate u. u validate you, and the quicker u can accept this the less heartache you’ll have on this journey. so yeah. yk ur assumptions are working bc suddenly ur not the same person as before — now ur the person who believes in ur assumptions.

the doubting/fearful voices in ur head will be faced so imo facing them head on did the trick but some people rather just focus entirely on the new state and let the fears come up on their own. choose ur style. lol either way, u won’t be able to push them down forever so just keep that in mind. when its time to face it u just breathe, feel the uncomfy/painful feelings, and let it be. the big thing is no longer identifying with it and just letting it pass thru u instead. consistently listening to doubtful thoughts is a choice. u actually don’t have to. they can be there but u don’t have to care what they say. keep that in mind.

yeah ofc, people have manifested with some doubts. not fully doubtful though. but i remember once reading, “in every state there is room for some doubts/fears” so that’s smth u can reassure urself on the harder moments.

to ur last point, just realize it’s a daily practice as well as a daily choice. take the month to get offline and stop looking for info on the law and learn to apply it urself. wish i could tell u how to get to a state of knowing but if you’ve been around you would know everyone says smth different and no one is wrong bc it works for them… so find what works for you :D get some hobbies that arent centered around the law so u dont spend sm time wanting to look at the content about the law. and yeah, practice daily. don’t even try to tell urself u don’t know what to do bc you’d be lying to urself at this point and honesty with oneself is a huge important part of the law. even if u feel weird or like ur missing smth, that’s just the fear talking to try and keep u stagnant. learn to build trust in urself and the choices u make. the most important foundation is self confident/belief/trust and that happens in daily practice, not by reading a post about how to do it.

i hope this helps <3 good luck on ur journey !!

#basics

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smallestclowninthecircus · 3 years

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Season 3 notes popping off

due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.

ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?

ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.

ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.

ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes

ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.

ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.

ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.

ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.

ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.

ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.

ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.

ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.

ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.

Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.

Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?

ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?

ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.

ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!

ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?

ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again

110: who wants to bet its a leitner?

111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.

112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...

113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough

114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?

115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?

116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.

117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.

118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.

119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!

120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.

#tma #neptune's tma notes #notes #tma season 3

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thesasscat · 4 years

Text

The Mandela Effect

I don't know who might see this but I'm going to say this right now I AM NOT CRAZY! I just need someone, ANYONE to believe me! It all started a few days ago . .

My life is FAR from perfect, my wife and I are poor getting by on thrifting, and food pantries; I work a job I despise, but my family is what makes it beautiful. The day ended as usual, tucking my eldest in bed for the night, getting my infant to sleep and finally my wife and I going to bed.

This is where things, went so wrong. I've lived my whole life not knowing my greatest fear until I learned about a moment in history called "The man from a country that doesn't exist" and then i realised that was in fact my greatest fear. I'm now living that scenario!

* * *

I woke up in an apartment I have never seen before. Already freaked out I went to get out of bed but found I wasn't alone, I was hoping it was my wife and some how this would make sense, but no it was my ex; I screamed. He woke with a start.

"Cat! What the hell?!."

"What date is it!"

"What has gotten-"

"WHAT FUCKING DATE IS IT!"

"It's December nineth, twenty-twenty. Why are you being such a bitch this morning?!"

Slightly less panicked but also more annoyed with him, I jumped out of the bed and found my phone. I left the room to look for my eldest, I doubted I would find my infant in whatever nightmare I was in! "Felicity! Time to get up! Felicity?!" WHERE IS SHE!

I started feeling tears spring to my eyes as panic welled up again. I searched for my wife in my contacts. It's not here! I tried finding on my Facebook list. No! But I noticed a mutual friend that introduced us however was online. Please have answers! This can't be happening! Please don't let this be real!

Hey question ur still friends w/ Rosalina on Discord or Facebook or wutever yes?

I waited what seemed like an hour, whiping my tears, even though it was likely just three minutes for their response.

U know Rosy?

Uh ya! U introduced us we've been together...well a while now!

......uhhh r u ok? Cuz I never introduced u 2......Cat....she killed herself 2 years ago....I'm sorry but if this is some kind of sick joke it's not funny!

The floor and ceiling suddenly inverted, and everything went black

* * *

I woke up in the same strange apartment but on a couch this time, my head ached as I tried remember everything before. My heart dropped as I remembered what Juno told me, tears spraing up again in gusto, as grief washed over me remembering my wife was dead, likely on the same date as her last attempt but this time she suceeded.

She never knew how much I loved her, of the beautiful baby girl we had together, she never knew the life we built together. I would never have the chance to ever look into those beautiful green eyes of hers or even run my fingers through her hair.

"CAT!"

I snapped to attention he must have been trying to get my attention for a while.

"What."

"Ok what the fuck is up with you today? And who is Felicity?!"

"Our kid! You know sassy blonde blue eyes carbon copy of my but smaller ring any bells?" I completely forgot how much he really brought out the worst in me.

"Did you hit your head or something because you're acting completely crazy!"

"I'M NOT CRAZY!" I shouted bolting upright, "I'M STUCK IN THE MANDELA EFFECT AND NONE OF THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING! I LEFT YOU. THREE YEARS AGO! WE HAD A KID! I MOVED ON AND YOU DIDN'T I FOUND SOMEONE NEW AND YOU ALWAYS HATED THAT! HATED THAT I MOVED ON TO SOMEONE BETTER AND STOPPED TAGGING AROUND WITH YOU! THAT I BEGAN PUTTING UP BARRIERS AND REFUSED TO LET YOU TEAR THEM DOWN!" My face felt hot, I was shaking as all of this sank in. He looked taken aback but it didn't matter.

Felicity doesn't even exist here either, my whole life I had before is completely gone for good. My sweet girls.... Annabelle..... Felicity.....

"Uh huh.......you haven't started any new medication right?"

"FUCK YOU!" I shouted, throwing the nearest object at him. I left out the front door livid, not even bothering to grab a change of clothes or shoes, and did something I never thought I would do. I opened my phone and called my mom.

"Hey sweetie!"

"Mom... can you come get me?"

A pause.

"<Dead nam>-" I grimaced as I did my best to pretend she didn't dead name me, "Im, in Utah remember? I would love to see you but that's a bit of a drive, i would have to make just for a visit. Is everything ok?" I pondered whether to tell her or not, but I figured the worst she could do is point out the fact psychosis runs in the family, or just make it about her.

"You'll believe me right?"

Her tone of voice changed to her lawyer voice, "<Dead name> are you safe or do you need someone to get you?"

"No it's just you remember me talling you and the story of a man from a country that didn't exist......and how that freaked me out more than anything in the world?" I tried keeping my voice steady, as tears welled up again.

"Yes but what does that have to do with our conversation?"

I drew a breath, and my words came flooding out "I'm living in it, I'm in some kind of worLD WHERE SOMEHOW I'M BACK WITH CLYDE AND ROSY AND I WERE NEVER TOGETHER WE NEVER HAD OUR LITTLE FAMILY AND WE NEVER MET AND WE NEVER WILL MEET AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE HER GRAVE IS SO I CAN NEVER GO SEE HER AND I'M SCARED AND I WANT THIS TO BE JUST A REALLY BAD DREAM BUT IT'S NOT AND I WANT OUT OF HERE!" I finished through sobs.

Another pause "Ok I am going to call Emily to come get you and let her know you need some air, but I think maybe a trip to the psych hospital is also possibly needed-"

"MOM! I'M NOT CRAZY I DON'T BELONG IN THIS LIFE! YOU HAVE TWO OTHER GRANDCHILDREN THEIR NAMES ARE FELICITY AND ANNABELLE. FELICITY IS FOUR, SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE ME SHE'S SASSY, LOVES POKEMON, MY LITTLE PONY AND DINOSAURS! ANNABELLE IS ALMOST A YEAR OLD SHE WAS THE NICU BABY SHE HAS RED HAIR, SHE'S THE FANCY GIRL! SHE LOVES SOFT THINGS, CUDDLES AND SOFIA THE FIRST! ROSALINA WAS MY WIFE SHE WAS A FEW INCHES TALLER THAN ME AND WE HAD SUCH A WONDERFUL LIFE TOGETHER!" I'm shaking worse than ever.

"<Dead name>"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT I CAME OUT AS NONBONARY AND CHANGED MY NAME 6 YEARS AGO!"

"I'm going to call your sister now." She said before hainging up. I threw my phone on the ground with all of my strength. I wanted to scream to hit my head as hard as possible and hope to wake up finding out this wasn't real. THIS CAN'T BE REAL!

My younger sister texted my phone the notification popping up on my now shattered screen.

Mom is on the phone with me right now

R u sure ur ok?

I typed furiously, wincing as my fingers caught on glass splinters.

I'M NOT CRAZY!!!!!

* * *

I'm refusing to go any redirect my sister asked for us to go to outside of her place, I know they're having me committed. I'm trying to act casual as I try typing this all on my phone and pretending my shattered screen isn't a big deal. I need just one person please say you believe me! I'm NOT crazy like everyone thinks I am. I'm not acting out some complex delusion, these people I am now grieving are real and I love them more than life itself.

Please, anyone at all tell me you believe me, please show me I'm not the crazy person every one is saying I've become.

#short story #creepypasta #storytelling #story time #original story

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almaasi · 7 years

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you have witch powers? i've always been fascinated with "paranormal" stuff, including magic, so i was wondering if u could tell me stuff about it. is magic real? what kind of stuff did ur grandma do? are ghosts and spirits real too? what kinds of spells can witches cast? is it like supernatural? sorry if i'm asking a lot of questions i'm just so fascinated and curious. i didn't even know witches were like, legit until i read ur tags, i just thought that people back then said that so they had 1/2

2/2 a reason to burn a woman they didn’t like. ok now i’m rambling but in short, what can u tell me about witch stuff? i’m just asking cause i’m really curious :)

(about my tags on this)

#whenever phil gets out the tarot cards and pulls something scarily accurate i’m just like…. yes…. good…show us your witch powers…… #(my own experience with tarot? so reassuring. and calming. it’s like asking for a friend’s advice but that friend is your own brain.) #also my great grandmother was a witch by profession and i definitely got some of her magic #i have not yet learned to recognise a feeling when i feel it.. but when stuff happens later i’m like OH THAT WAS MY MYSTERIOUS FEELING #one of our sheep died a week or so ago.. and for two days straight i was outside in the middle of the night staring at the moon #and wondering why i felt death in the air #and the rain made me cry and it felt like release but i didn’t know why #and i immediately started worrying about our sheep but didn’t follow up to see if they were okay #then two days later my mother comes in and tells me one of our sheep died and two days ago had given my mother “the death look” #if you’ve never seen someone or something die… there’s this look they have that’s like a disgraced peacefulness and self-awareness #but basically i knew the sheep was gonna die without any reason for me to think that #and i need to learn to follow up on my instincts because they’re ever-present and i never know when it’s a psychic thing or random anxiety #disclaimer: IS IT ALL BULLSHIT who knows? but science doesn’t know a whole lot about a lot of things and this stuff is natural to me #so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

okay!! i was expecting someone to ask, so here goes. (in case anyone’s wondering, this is a personal post, and no, i’m not making this stuff up.) (feel free to reblog if you want. but it’s so goddamn long aaah)

first off, an opinion: whether or not you believe magic is real in this world is entirely related to whether or not it is real. at least in my books. magic/paramormal stuff can always be observed, but if you don’t believe it’s anything beyond coincidence or skilled trickery, it’s not gonna impact you.

i do believe in ghosts (or djinns, or something else human-like), but in my experience they don’t really do anything except exist in some other realm and occasionally become visible when i’m at my most lucid, at that point between waking and sleeping. most people (myself included) would say it’s just a hallucination. but like…. who’s to say it isn’t real, just in a way we as humans don’t yet understand? y’know?

the most interesting ghost sighting i’ve experienced was when i was fully awake, not hallucinating. i was in a car with my sister, my sister’s friend, and her mother - and we drove over a bridge, and i saw a fritzing semi-translucent black figure walking along the peak. i looked back and it was gone. it wasn’t scary, it was just really cool. i saw that with my own two eyes, i have zero doubt i saw it, and for that moment, it was there.

other times i’ve seen things pass through walls, or felt presences in the room that vanish when i look. i get deja vu maybe once a week. the ability comes and goes in phases, switched on and off whenever i tell someone about it. it’s like that part of my brain gets really shy and goes into hiding when it’s mentioned.

sometimes it can be pretty powerful. there’ve been moments when a deja vu begins, i remember it from a dream, fast-forward through the memory to remember what happens, and i get ahead of present time, so i predict what’s in front of me by about one to three seconds. usually it’s snippets of conversation, or my hands moving to complete an action, or words i’m typing. (let me tell you, it’s so freaking bizarre when you’re consciously typing, thinking about what you’re typing, and simultaneously remembering typing it before, and knowing what you’re about to type despite not yet knowing. and then seeing it happen. i think a lot of people reading this would be like “what?” but i know there’s someone out there who knows exactly what i mean)

for a long time in my teenage years i told people i’d see coloured figures, like auras without physical people, just hanging around out there in the world, but due to health issues a lot of my teenage memories are gone, and the only memory i have of that stuff is the recollection of me telling people about it, and remembering it while telling people. it’s really weird. i sometimes think maybe i made that up?? but i don’t understand why i’d do that when i do actually see other things sometimes.

once, my family visited this old historic building, and i remember seeing a woman in a maid’s outfit duck through a doorway. but she wasn’t actually there. so. idk.

my great-grandmother (or great-great grandmother?) on my mother’s side used to sell love spells to the people in her Indian village. my mother told me about it when i was little. my [great] great grandmother would write a spell on parchment, and the client had to go home and burn it in their fire. and she would curse people, in exchange for payment. that’s all i know about that. but my grandmother (also on my mother’s side) used to have some kind of power, i never got to ask about it while she was still alive. (she was an awesome woman. one of the first women in her country and generation to go to university.)

personally, having been raised as a muslim, i always felt really disconnected from the culture and practices of the religion, even though i believe in the supernatural aspects of it right down to my core. that’s despite my ultimate acknowledgement of facts being deeply rooted in hard science. recently (like, in the past few months) i’ve started to rediscover my faith - directly following on from a quiet interest in the pinterest & instagram aesthetics of paganism and new age magic, which as a concept i was never really sure about. i just really liked how it looked. basically, it clicked in my brain that islamic prayers could, in essence, just be spells. you gotta take everything with a grain of salt. they might not work. but that’s the beauty of it.

a few weeks ago i stumbled across a prayer on tumblr, and read its intended purpose: “Allah will grant whoever recites this seven times in the morning or evening whatever he desires from this world or the next”.

and… i started to think, maybe the purpose is not to actually do that. nothing ought to be a get-out-of-jail-free/do-this-and-your-life-is-made type thing. maybe the purpose is to make you believe nothing can go wrong. and that every bad thing that happens–? it happens so that you can learn from it. and eventually, after many things change, you realise what you desire was not the thing you thought you desired. (idk how to explain that. an example from my life: i really wanted to be a veterinarian growing up. then i got sick, dropped out of school. and now i’m a writer. i want to be a writer more than i ever wanted to be a vet. i had to get sick and my life had to fall apart before i could discover that. writing was never something i’d have considered before.)

my point is, if you believe everything that happens to you will ultimately be a good thing, bad things don’t hurt so much.

and if you take something as a sign, it’s a sign. it’s just your own brain taking hints from the world around you and using them to conjure up a decision. if you wanna believe it’s magic, it is.

personally i like protection prayers/spells and just…generally positive ones. i say prayers for sick friends, people who i see on my tumblr dash who are having a bad time, and if i see or hear about disasters or worldwide events. i’m not expecting it to have a visible impact, but like.. what’s the harm? at the very least it makes me feel like i did something if i don’t have money to give, or i can’t be there with a friend, or the world is falling apart and i’m helpless. praying or saying a spell is just hoping, really, really hard. if some greater being is out there, listening? cool. (but what if god doesn’t wanna do anything? maybe it’s like my cupcake theory. god puts the ingredients in a baking tray, shoves it in the oven, forgets about it. the universe rises as a cupcake. god made it. but the universe is doing its own damn thing.)

regarding tarot cards: again, it’s self-reflection. you can believe answers come from outside influences, but it’s easily just as much about interpreting generic advice and making it mean something to you. but personally i’ve drawn random cards, and known that no other card in the deck would’ve been as relevant at that moment. i’ve used tarot cards to determine the endings for my stories, and coincidentally pulled cards that directly represent my title characters.

one time i was thinking about my fic “The Moonlighter and the Magician” and the card i pulled first was The Magician. and i was like gee thanks tarot cards that’s helpful. (but actually? it meant those cards were on the same wavelength as me. think about it. 78 cards, there’s a one in 78 chance i pull that one on my first try.)

apart from my wonky first-ever tarot readings with the Rider-Waite travel-size tarot deck (which belonged to my mother), i’ve never pulled anything that didn’t eventually make sense. i use The Wild Unknown cards now, i relate to them so much more. plus they’re mine, not borrowed or abandoned for years, which probably helps. (buying those cards was the most money i ever spent on anything. i don’t regret it.)

is any of this like the show ‘supernatural’? not really. the closest i can say my experiences have come to the show would be the episode “faith”. just, the whole episode. it doesn’t matter if it’s the real deal, so long as it works. and boy, does it work for me. and a lot of other people.

like i said, all the spirit-like entities i’ve encountered have been perfectly benign. no monsters, except things i’m pretty sure are nightmares.

but on that note, i take a lot of things to help me sleep. if i didn’t, i’d be waking up screaming night and day (i hit whistle register while screaming, once). i see faces in the dark and creatures in my bedroom, even when my eyes are closed and i’m awake. i sleep with a light on, and i prefer to sleep in the day. i cannot even deal with the presences in my room.

for that matter, my room is definitely the most presence-heavy room in the house. now, although it’s obviously just in a drafty area, i feel the cold spots. all. the. time. i’m feeling one right now as i type this. the door and window are both closed. the heater is always on. the draft comes from the same corner of the ceiling my cat stares at when she’s “staring into space”. there’s definitely something there, but it legit doesn’t bother me. it watches me get dressed sometimes, but it’s not weird about it. like i said, benign.

i feel energy everywhere i go. i can’t stay in my family’s open plan living room comfortably for more than a few minutes, because that room is filled with people and pets coming and going all freaking day, and even when it’s empty, it’s so LOUD. there’s vibrations and voices coming out of the walls, because the house absorbs it all. as a generally tired person, that room exhausts me. i can only stay there if i have social energy. (yes, even an empty room.)

i am so, so sensitive to people’s moods and the energy they let out (to the point where i burst out screaming if i see a negative microexpression during a personal conversation). i find phone calls very difficult, not just because of social anxiety, but because i can’t sense energy as easily as i want to, and is natural for me. skype calls aren’t the same as being there in person. a lot of this could also be autism-related, but nearly everything about me is autism-related, because i’m autistic. go figure.

one time, the day i had my first period, i passed out in a maths exam. all the other times in my life, i’ve seen black or maybe red when i passed out, but this time it was a striking cobalt blue. and i heard SO MANY VOICES, i thought the whole classroom was full of people shouting. my P.E. teacher was observing that exam, she carried me out of the room and lay me on the floor outside. i told her about the voices, she looked at me in confusion and said “there were no voices?? the whole room was silent for the exam.” obviously that was a weird day, but given the amount of times i’ve lost conciousness in my life, before and after that day, i know the warm muggy feeling of slipping away, and i guarantee that one was just a little bit not-normal.

my cat Wilson follows me everywhere. if you’ve ever seen a picture of a witch and her familiar, that’s me and Wilson. she leaves the house if i leave, and she’ll walk down the road beside me to make sure i stay safe. she only lets me leave completely if i go in a car, but even then, she tries to come too. i know what she says when she talks. she speaks in words for me. it translates naturally in my head without a thinking process.

there was this one time when i was about 15 my parents took me to an after-hours medical centre because apparently i was ~speaking in tongues~ or whatever. i don’t remember it, i remember ‘waking up’ with a doctor’s flashlight in my eyes, crying, then holding my sister’s hand as we looked at the fish in the fishtank afterwards. i can’t say how legit that is because i just.. don’t remember it.

one time as a kid, i am absolutely sure i was possessed for about 30 seconds. i was walking down the street on a balmy English afternoon, pine needles scattered underfoot, with my elderly grandmother (paternal), my grandfather, and my sister. i must’ve been 6 or 7? and a streak of evil just bolted through me. and i stuck out my foot and my grandmother fell flat on her face. my grandfather tried to help her up, a car driving by pulled up and asked if they needed help, grandfather said no, and got her back to her feet. i can’t remember if i felt remorse. i think i just knew instinctively that it wasn’t me who did it. but like.. i wasn’t just A Nice Kid, okay, i was The Nicest Kid. i just don’t do things like that. ever. especially not to a kind and generous grandmother who i love so very dearly. i never had before, and i never have since. that’s the single most evil thing i’ve ever done in my life and it came out of nowhere. being more aware now, i think it was a djinn (aka a demon in christian beliefs, i think). they’re known for being mischievous. (my grandmother was fine, by the way. this is the first time i’ve told anyone about this.) now i think about it, i remember cobalt blue behind my eyes then, too.

whoops, this is a really long post now. but uh… basically, i’ve just always been open to feeling these things, and believing in what i sense for myself, without subscribing to whether or not the science has been done yet. in fact, i think i’m open to it because i experienced the same stuff when i was young. the energy i feel is very much real to me, completely tangible. i’ve never been able to see auras, but i feel them on some people. i think just being open to feeling something makes it more likely to come to you. i try not to ignore my instincts (because they’re always right. always.) but i find it’s super hard to distinguish between anxiety (which i feel often) and magical ability (which is far less commonly felt). also sometimes the instinct is so faint it doesn’t even become a passing thought, just a blur of something i half-considered. but in hindsight i realise what it ought to have been, had i paid proper attention.

i can comfortably manage to go outside in bare feet, shut my eyes and let the moonlight do its thing. it has an immensely powerful energy, i always feel cleaner inside when i go back in. (my cat Wilson sometimes asks me to go outside with her when there’s a full moon. almost every night, especially on warm nights, but even freezing ones, we can just stand out there for an hour together. watching the moon set is transcendent. far more so than a sunset.)

right now, due to years of bad health, i have to force some natural abilities away (like the nightmares) because they’re too much for me to handle. i think as i recover, over time it’ll be easier for me to accept that stuff back into my life.

oh, one more thing, regarding my health - i have celiac disease, which has kept me essentially bedridden for the last 7+ years - WHICH BY THE WAY, my family spent literally 9 years trying to diagnose. my doctor kept doing an anaemia test, telling me there was nothing wrong with me and sending me back to school. i saw various specialists, herbalists, a naturopath, physiotherapists, cardiologists, had an MRI scan, saw family counsellors, school counsellors, a hypnotist, etc etc - basically consulted every medical professional under the sun when a simple blood test would’ve done it. stupid misogynistic doctor who thinks all teenage girls fake it to get out of school.

but one thing we did do was visit a psychic, who told me i had something called a candida. my dad, a sceptic and nonbeliever, googled it and said it was “some kind of magical thing in the gut”, and was therefore bullshit, so we continued the search for a diagnosis. years later - years - after a change of doctor (who i chose because i got a good vibe from her picture) we find out it’s celiac disease, a disease of the gut. of the hundreds of people we saw, the only ones to even pinpoint the right body part were the psychics. i googled candida just now and guess what? literally celiac disease. this woman diagnosed me with celiac disease by kneeling at my feet, holding my hand, and shutting her eyes for 30 seconds.

for the record, slightly off topic, i know very few men in real life, and this is what the men in my life have been. my doctor, dismissing me as a liar because i was a teenage girl. and my father, dismissing my declining health as “not trying hard enough”, even now, more than a year after i was diagnosed by a doctor. i think this is why i take refuge with male fictional characters. they’re better. i want them to be soft and understanding like the men i’ve never known.

anyway, this is the part of my life’s story i never really pieced together until right now. it’s a lot, more than i expected. i happily call myself a witch. most of my magic goes into my stories, and i think a lot of people who read them feel it, even if they translate it as passion or love or good vibes or something. the amazing comments i get would speak to that. i love the energy i get from comments, because it does come through in typed words, even if it’s much fainter than seeing people face-to-face. some comments just hit me with waves of goodness, even if the words themselves aren’t so powerful. so i really appreciate that stuff. it’s good stuff.

yep. that’s all. i hope this satisfies your curiosity, anon!!!

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