#oughh. college...bad. or not bad but. strange. and lonely. and yeah kinda bad

[welcometogrouchland]

they shouldn't let me stay up past midnight bc then I start identifying every single problem I've ever had. No solutions found. Net zero personal progress and 0.5 hours of sleep are achieved

#ramblings of a lunatic #ignore me I'm having a moment #actually wait that's one of the problems we (the brain council) identified. is my need to not have problems where ppl can see #oh very problematic of my brain. not a fan #look i just got out on christmas break for college the term is catching up to me #i didn't make any real friends and it's not that I'm surprised..but yeah I'm surprised. i forgot about My Whole Deal somehow #like girl do the math. 7 yrs to make A FRIEND. SINGULAR. came pre packaged w/ 2 friends but took you 4 more years to make another one- #-independtly. straight up did not understand friendship and human relationships until you were at least 16 #did we honestly think we were gonna knock it out of the park in terms of socialising this first term???? did we???? #wishful thinking ig #oughh. college...bad. or not bad but. strange. and lonely. and yeah kinda bad #existentially horrifying in ways i didn't even realise were possible. i get why so many tma fans were college students/grads now #college just irl cosmic horror #anyway. i think i should try and sleep now lest the brain demons get the better of me #but also I've gotten like. 4 hours of sleep total over the last 6 days- not for lack of trying mind you #so like. I'm anticipating a struggle.