#owen oakeshott

[zuzcreation]

Owen Oakeshott as Gerold Royce in House of the Dragon (x6)

#owen oakeshott #owen oakeshott avatars #house of the dragon #gerold royce #hotdedit #asoiafedit #house royce #period fc #400x640 #echodesplaines #y: 2022

[willstafford]

New Years Grieve

MURDER IN THE DARK The Alexandra Theatre, Birmingham, Tuesday 7th November 2023 This new thriller from writer Torben Betts is a little misleading from the off.  The title does not describe what we get – unlike Snakes On A Plane!  Rather, the murder-in-the-dark refers to the game played upon the protagonist by a cruel babysitter many years ago.  It’s also, somewhat unlikely, the title of a song…

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#Brimingham #Jonny Green #Laura White #Murder In the Dark #Owen Oakeshott #Philip Franks #Rebecca Charles #review #Susie Blake #The Alexandra Theatre #Tom Chambers #Torben Betts

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: May 2022

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of May 2022 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

Thanks to Samuel Alito it can now definitively be said that every last think piece saying that nobody should be concerned with Trump stuffing the US Supreme Court with the likes of Brett Kavanaugh and Amy Coney Barrett as there’s no way that they’d do something as crass as overturn Woe vs Wade - until Politico published a draft from Alito taking aim at Roe vs Wade because abortion isn’t in the Constitution, which is a normal thing to say

...which, of course, led to Mitch McConnell getting his child molesting tortoise face front and centre to express his anger not at Alito actively being that transparent, but because somebody dared leak that Alito was doing exactly what those think pieces told us would never happen and anyone who thought it would was clearly overreacting is happening

...and luckily for us Isabel Oakeshott decided she really had to share her tuppence worth, by using the protests against Alito’s scumbaggery as an excuse to have a moan about people protesting against lockdown during a global fucking pandemic weren't given the same courtesy 

The superhuman failure that is the Uvalde Police Department before and during the Robb Elementary School shooting really beggars belief, beginning with them wasting a ten minute window where the shooter was discharging their AR15 outside the school to do something but really coming to a head where they spent over forty minutes sitting on their backsides outside where they seemed more focused on arresting parents telling them to do something than deigning to try and stop an active shooter

...which also means bad faith arguments from Republicans were forthcoming, with particularly bad arguments from Dan Patrick arguing that schools should have a single entry and exit point that can be guarded which begs the question if he’s heard of this thing called “fire”, while Lauren Boebert came flying out the traps shrieking that planes weren't banned after 9/11 as if she forgot that shoes, cigarette lighters, bottled water and Muslims all got one hell of a lot more scrutiny at airport security post-9/11, or the minor detail about how planes were grounded for a week

...and then along came Greg Abbott to give his personal take on the situation while trying not to hurt the NRA’s fee-fees, where he actually said “Things could have been worse”

So apparently it can’t be said that proven liar Boris Johnson broke the Ministerial Code after proven liar Alexander Boris De Pfeffel Johnson blocked the ethics committee investigation into him breaking the Ministerial Code, before then rewriting the Ministerial Code so that people guilty of “minor” offences such as being fined by the police for breaking the law no longer have to automatically hand in their resignation

As if the Mail on Sunday didn't make themselves look scummy enough with the front page claiming that Angela Rayner went Basic Instinct to try and distract proven liar Alexander Boris De Pfeffel Johnson from misleading Parliament yet again while screaming that Glen Owen has been harassed on Twitter all week by “leftists” in spite his not having a Twitter account, they followed that up with some utterly bizarre claim that, as Rayner asked them to not publish the story, that makes Rayner the source of the story and therefore LABOUR BAD and not, say, the Mail on Sunday for publishing the story while which they're conveniently forgetting who the source was

...soon followed by Lance Forman coming up with an utterly absurd defence of Neil Parrish getting sacked for watching porn in Commons, where he claimed that Angela Rayner should be sacked for participating in porn in Commons, which not only makes him sound like a misogynistic cunt who is ignorant of what porn is, but likely saw his legal advisor suddenly become very busy

...meanwhile The Daily Mail was having a meltdown of their own by continuing the non-story of Keir Starmer having a beer after lockdown which “proves” he broke lockdown rules, a non-story they ran on their front page for four straight days - and on the fourth day “proved” it by cropping a photo of Starmer having curry with Frank Dobson as their evidence, which merely provides evidence of the paranormal as Dobson died in 2019 and their “evidence” was a photo taken in 2015

...which Secretary of State for Culture Wars Nadine Dorries retweeted with a volley of invective, even after Dan Hodges was forced to admit the piece was bullshit, which not only undermined all her posturing about tackling fake news given she was broadcasting it, but also made her look like a bunny boiler since most of her invective was aimed at Angela Rayner

First the Israeli Defence Forces once again demonstrated their peacekeeping credentials by shooting Al Jazeera’s Palestinian reporter Shireen Abu Akleh and immediately tried pinning it on Palestinian militants who not a single eyewitness says were there, followed by Israeli police bullrushing her funeral procession where they clubbed those carrying her coffin

Apparently the Metropolitan Police weren't that rigorous with their investigation into the Downing Street pissups during lockdown, as ITV News annihilating their findings by publishing a single photo which they either missed or ignored which showed proven liar Boris Johnson in a room full of people drinking during lockdown at a party he claimed didn't happen and/or wasn’t a party

...which led to Grant Schapps issuing the most pathetic defence yet, namely that proven liar Alexander Boris De Pfeffel Johnson wasn’t getting boozed up at a party but was actually mourning the death of his mother - who not only died ten months prior to the photo in question, but died pre-lockdown

It sums up the Tory government that not only did they continue the “Local Conservatives” scam on all literature for the local elections, but that literature stresses how these are apparently different Conservatives to those in Westminster - which is outright election fraud 

Things must not be going well for Sergey Lavrov and his boss judging by how he’s now having to spout Far Right gibberish about...okay, hang on...about how  Volodymyr Zelenskyy is a Nazi because he’s Jewish, basing his logic on the long-debunked theory of Hitler being part-Jewish which is why Jews are the worst antisemites and definitely not somebody spouting such utter gibberish to try and cover for the fact Ukraine didn't roll over the second Russia invaded

At long last proven liar Boris Johnson dared to appear on Good Morning Britain, where his not hiding managed to not be the main story - his response to the story of a 77 year old using her Freedom Pass to ride buses all day to keep warm by saying she could do that as he introduced Freedom Passes (which is a lie in itself) as if she should feel grateful managed to get far more attention

Definitely not a right winger Tim Pool responded to the Robb Elementary School shooting in the only way that the definitely not right wing Tim Pool would: by posting a bunch of tweets that were neither cool nor edgy, which was a problem as definitely not a right winger Tim Pool clearly posted them under the belief that they were cool and so fucking edgy

In the mind of Lee Anderson the reason people use food banks isn’t due to a grossly increased cost of living coupled to gross wage stagnation, merely that poor people have forgotten how to cook or even budget properly, which begs the question if he believes the lower orders open bags of pasta and pour it down their gullets because somehow in the last twelve years of Tory rule they forgot how to cook food

...which predictably saw Tom Harwood and Isabel Oakeshott crawl out of the woodwork to defend Anderson with some particularly disingenuous takes - at which point Jack Monroe decided it was time to take the shotgun out of the cupboard and give the lot of them both barrels

...and then Lee Anderson thought that, with Martin Daubney egging him on during a livestream promoting the Nigel Farage Ego Project instead of the Tory party, that the smartest thing to do would be the libel Jack Monroe by accusing her of taking money from the most vulnerable people in society, apparently forgetting what happened when Katie Hopkins talked libellous shit about her...

The ultra-relatable Rishi Sunak had a brilliant idea of trying to repair his public image after signing off on literally everything which has caused the cost of living crisis: spending £500,000 of taxpayer’s money on a campaign to improve his public image just as he and his wife both appeared on the Times Rich List

Freudian slip encourager Michael Fabricant responded to the news of a Tory MP being told to stay away from parliament while they are being investigated for rape by tweeting a joke about how he’ll definitely be in Commons to prove it wasn't him, a tweet he since deleted - and then posted the exact same tweet again, this time with the 😜 emoji attached at the end of it

Billionaire manchild Elon Musk proved to be such a fan of free speech that he had a former SpaceX employee he sexually harassed in 2018 sign an NDA after paying her $250,000 to shut up, which somehow isn’t the scummiest part of the story given he was informed the story would break so immediately started spouting conspiracy theories about him being “smeared” by his political enemies

Unifying force Keir Starmer once again demonstrated his hands-off approach to leading the Labour party, by telling the local party in Wakefield they had a choice of one of the two candidates he had selected to run in the upcoming byelection - which caused the local party to resign en masse 

The nerve of Secretary of State for Culture Wars Nadine Dorries tweeting in recognition of Press Freedom Day when she is single-handedly trying to privatise Channel 4 for not falling in lockstep with the Tory propaganda machine, and previously called for LBC to sack James O’Brien for similar reasons, is gobsmacking even for Dorries’ usual low standards

To say that I was shocked to learn that Paul Joseph Watson is a massive racist and antisemite would be...actually it would be a lie, because considering the company he keeps of course he’s a massive racist and antisemite

Walking radioactive dumpster fire Tammy Lynn Sytch still has not figured out that getting arrested for killing somebody when driving under the influence without a license, you don’t go on Twitter and start screaming at everyone else in the world, for the simple reason there’s a very good reason you’re being criticised: for driving under influence without a license and killing somebody with your reckless, selfish dickheadedness 

It’s telling that Dave Chappelle attempted to twist getting attacked by some Trumpist onstage into being attacked by a member of the trans community for his anti-trans material before going through the usual game of buzzword bingo, while surely giving JK Rowling ideas

There’s ways to raise staff morale, but the policy of Wagamama to demand staff come in to work in their restaurants after testing positive for Covid - and, as most of their staff are on probation, they sack them if they don’t - is not one of them

Convicted criminal Darren Grimes didn’t look like a crafty wanker when jumping on Ncuti Gatwa being cast as the new Doctor Who by saying that all he needed to be was trans and the BBC would have ticked all the “woke” boxes, which is why he deleted the tweet within 45 seconds when he was quickly informed there was no way he could pretend to be a credible journalist when appearing on the BBC if he merely looked like a wanker

Government efficiency milk monitor Jacob Rees Mogg is proud to state that he does not have a computer on his desk and prefers an In and Out tray - because nothing says “efficiency” quite like having a junior minister print off every single email he receives, walk into his office to read the printed off email to him, then call for his secretary to come inside to write down the email to return before typing the sodding thing up

The best idea that Activision could think of to try and divert the conversation away from the culture of abuse and harassment at the company was to try and make themselves look inclusive by unveiling the diversity tool - tool which mainly served to have people notice not that Lucio from Overwatch is counted as 50% “ethnicity”, but there’s an obvious block in the middle which is presumably where 90% of all Activision characters live that happens to look white, male, heterosexual and aged approximately 25-28

An utterly baffling move from Square Enix where they sold off Crystal Dynamics and Eidos Montreal plus the IPs those studios hold, which include Tomb Raider and Deus Ex, for a comparative pittance so they could put all their eggs in the blockchain basket - and did this just after it was announced the bottom had fallen out of the NFT ziggurat scheme 

An idiot’s idea of what an intellectual looks like Jordan Peterson seems to be getting desperate for attention, judging by doing his usual schtick to say the cover girl of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue isn't attractive judging by the usual pseudointellectual flavour text that means nothing, and then started literally crying about being cyberbullied when the piss got ripped out of him

Chicken nugget mentalist Jamie Oliver once again demonstrated his working class roots when his response to the cost of living crisis affecting millions of working class people in the UK was to forth at the mouth at supermarkets not removing BOGOF offers on burgers, because what better way to show solidarity with people who have to choose between eating food or switching on the heating than demand that their food budgets be squeezed even further?

Employer of the year WWE once again reminded the wider entertainment world what a bunch of carnies they are by responding to Sasha Banks and Naomi walking out of an episode of Raw due to a dispute about their booking by repeatedly sounding uncannily like a jilted ex the way they bitched and moaned about them both in a press release issued before that episode of Raw had finished airing and by having their commentators shit on them on air, which is definitely the sort of thing that’s going to encourage their employees independent contractors to extend their existing deals...

In the space of a week Brendan Clarke-Smith went from an obscure Tory backbench slug to somebody who first said he most certainly is content to back a lawbreaker to be Prime Minister and then attempted to deny it which only led to the video clip of him saying exactly that to be shown in response, and a few days later he posted a photo of himself doing his shopping with a caption saying he wouldn't be buying beer or sandwiches in case somebody thought he was a lawbreaker because of course it's hilarious to mock people’s very real anger at the Tories getting shitfaced in Downing Street while the rest of the country weren't allowed to meet friends or relatives 

So not only did the jumped-up bore Katharine Birbalsingh demonstrate just how bad the standards at her jumped-up academy are that a quote attributed to Winston Churchill adorning one of the walls was, in fact, a Budweiser slogan from the 1930s, but she decided that the best response was to show what a patriot who is a very, very good headmistress actually by howling about how schools will stop teaching Shakespeare because of...nope, just her screaming incoherently for attention, which the Guardian was dumb enough to give her

Tens of people were ecstatic to hear that Ricky Gervais decided to be an egdelord yet again in his latest Netflix special, going over the exact same transphobic material that  those tens of people (and hundreds of Twitter accounts, strangely) were quick to defend with the usual array of bad faith arguments Gervais’ fanboys trot out

Human personification of ridiculousness Steven Crowder had a genius idea when it came to sharing his pig ignorant opinions on Taiwan with an internet which didn’t actually ask for them, and that idea was wearing a stereotypical Asian conical hat while spouting his usual ill-informed drivel

Professional idiot Candace Owens states that anybody getting vaccinated for monkeypox was an idiot and she would laugh at anybody who got jabbed, having apparently not received the memo that the monkeypox vaccine is the smallpox vaccine, meaning that she’s likely to die of oxygen deprivation due to laughing at everybody over the age of 50

It didn't take long for Piers Moron Morgan to flounce out of his TalkTV gig, did it?  I can't think why he wouldn't want to stick around once the ratings he was pulling in dropped to lower than the attendance of an FA Cup replay on a cold Tuesday night in mid January...

Billionaire manchild Elon Musk thought it would be a bright idea to get into a Twitter Spat with Hard Drive when they called him out for stealing their articles and cropping out their watermarks.  It went as well as could have been expected

Footballer’s wives are cursing the name of Rebekah Vardy after she proved to be so monumentally thick that she took Coleen Rooney to court for libel only for it to rapidly become apparent that she and her agent had been colluding to leak information The Sun via WhatsApp, and the best defence she could concoct is she did not read the messages - which she wrote

It almost feels mean to mention Seth Green had to cancel an NFT animated project based on his Bored Ape because somebody right clicked on his Bored Ape and now he can't make an animated TV show about it, but on the other hand the staff hired to work on the show all lost their jobs due to Green basing an animated project on a jpeg, so fuck NFTs

Nice of The Sun to focus on what’s really important in 2022 Britain...inventing a story claiming that The FA are going to ban Three Lions from the England songbook and then claim themselves the heroes for saving Three Lions from The FA axe

Bloody hell, can Arsenal fans give it a rest with their increasingly insane conspiracy theories about the Premier League dicking them out of the Champions League?  They had as cushy a season as possible due to a lack of European football and getting knocked out of the FA Cup as early as possible, and still bottled a Top 4 finish in spite having a significant advantage over Tottenham a mere five games before the end of the season

#dickheads of the month

[inappropri-ri-rate]

#8 Shows Seen in 2017 - A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Director: Lotte Wakeham

Starring: Emma Fenney, Owen Findlay, Jack Whitam, Owen Oakeshott

Writer: William Shakespeare

Date and Venue: 30th June (Evening) at Racks Close

Rating: 8.5/10

#2017 in theatre #theatre #a midsummer night's dream #william shakespeare #Emma Fenney #Jack Whitam

[ultraunknownus-blog]

Owen Jones v Isabel Oakeshott on sexism in Westminster, Catalonia & Abor...  #feminism #feminist#activism #activist #misogyny #sexism#rapeculture #sexualabuse #harassment#abuse #sexualabuseawareness#sexualassaultawareness #sexualviolence#sexualharassment#sexualharassmentawareness#sexualassault

#feminism feminist activism activist misogyny sexism rapeculture sexualabuse harassment abuse sexualabuseawareness sexualassaultawareness sex

[londontheatre]

It had been an extremely hot, uncomfortable day at work but early evening in Racks Close is shady and cool, just perfect for an outdoor production. My sister and I enjoyed our picnic on the lawn together with locally sourced gin and tonic. Could it get any better than this?

Director Lottie Wakeham has set this production in Guildford in 1967 the Summer of Love. Theseus is the Duke of Guildford. The four lovers are students at the University of Surrey and the Mechanicals are the amateur dramatic society from the local Dennis factory.

The action takes place on three different stages and the audience follow the cast from Guildford into the Faerie Kingdom in the woods and then to the wedding celebrations at Theseus’ court. The natural beauty of the woods of Racks Close is made eerie and magical by the clever use of fairy lights and purple spotlights amongst the trees. Sixties music is used throughout to accentuate the drama and add to the general atmosphere.

The small cast are incredibly versatile playing several parts and giving a distinct character to each. It is a delight to watch Owen Oakeshott transform from the pompous, verbose Theseus into the charismatic, hippie Oberon. Owen Findlay is so eloquent and charming as Lysander and a very convincing gum chewing amateur actor as Tom Snout, I had to check my programme to make sure it was the same actor. Matt Pinches is the best Bottom I have ever seen, and I have seen quite a few over the years including same very famous names. The physical foolery with his sword while rehearsing with the other actors is very amusing. Guildford Shakespeare Company are brilliant at slapstick comedy and I particularly enjoyed Lysander and Demetrius (Jack Whitam) courting of Helena (Meghan Tyler) and rejection of Hermia (Alisia Joy) but I would have attended this production just to see the play within a play “Pyramus and Thisbe”. Peter Quince’s (Paul Trussell) introduction is great. Bottom’s overacting is hilarious; Flute’s (Jack Whitam) scouse Thisbe is side-splitting! Snug (Meghan Tyler) the most timid lion I have ever seen in rehearsals triumphs in the production with a bit of Dutch courage and I have never seen anyone make playing the part of a wall (Owen Findlay) so amusing.

The predominantly teenage audience were enthusiastic throughout and in stitches during “Pyramus and Thisbe”. Quite brilliant, I would never miss one of GSC’s comedies; I might go to this one again.

Review by Sally Knipe

A Midsummer Night’s Dream 15 June – 1 July (Rack’s Close, Quarry Street, Guildford, GU1 3XZ)

The Two Gentlemen of Verona 14 – 29 July (University of Law Grounds)

The Legend of King Arthur 13 October – 5 November (The Spiegeltent returns!!!) http://ift.tt/1iwIDAM

http://ift.tt/2sT03Ee LondonTheatre1.com

#IFTTT #LondonTheatre1.com

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: January 2019

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of January 2019 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

It seems that Rachel Riley is quite smart at maths but a complete moron at anything else, what with her accusing Noam Chomsky of antisemitism in spite of the fact that Chomsky is a little bit Jewish, before following it up by encouraging her far-right Twitter followers to dogpile onto anyone voicing different opinions to her - which mainly involved a 16-year old girl bearing the brunt of it.  However she wasn’t finished there, as when she was rightly being criticised for encouraging her followers to dogpile onto people she then went whinging to the press about being bullied by left-wing trolls before announcing she needed personal security for when she was attending Countdown tapings, which sounds uncannily similar to the same stunt Laura Kuenssberg pulled a couple of years ago

Starting the year with a bang we had Chris Grayling first try and defend the Seaborne Freight farce by saying he was supporting up-and-coming British business (while omitting the parts about them being owned by the brother of a significant Tory donor, or not having any ships or trading history, let alone the fact the contract wasn’t even put out to tender) and followed that up by claiming the rail fare hikes are entirely the fault of the unions and definitely nothing to do with shareholder dividends or years of rail services taking the piss with fare hikes on January 2nd every year.  Of course, Grayling being Grayling, he also helped out the Britait debate by saying that a second referendum shouldn’t take place because if the result came back in support of Remain it would go against The Will Of The People™ - which apparently said people willingly voting to remain wouldn’t be

It didn't help Grayling that those checking the Seaborne Freight website found that their Ts & Cs were from the template used when setting up a website for a takeaway food outlet, the timetable for services was blank (and, for some reason, in Latin), while their privacy page had forgotten that the fields marked [Business Name] are supposed to be filled with the name of the business using the website

Overly sensitive snowflake Piers Moron Morgan spent a hell of a lot of time and energy yelling from the rooftops how appalling it was that Greggs are selling vegan sausage rolls, which is apparently the downfall of humanity as we know it and definitely not the hourly cry for attention from an attention-seeking lunatic - and while some claimed it was a stunt because he and Greggs share a PR agency, that theory appears to have been ever so slightly undermined by him then spouting off about McDonalds selling vegan Happy Meals

It’s funny how James Goddard demonstrated just how much of a difference a day makes, with him threatening Anna Soubry and Owen Jones on January 7th and bellowing at police officers that if they so much as touched him he’d start a a war...yet on January 8th he was bawling his eyes out on Twitter because his Facebook and PayPal accounts had been terminated

Lying (through his teeth) in front of a tractor Boris Johnson claimed he never mentioned Turkey at any point during the EU Referendum campaign - and when confronted with his numerous comments about Turkish immigrants flocking into the UK if the country voted Remain by Channel 4 journalist Michael Crick, he ran away to hide like an utter coward

Proving that gaslighting is the in thing at the BBC, Director General Tony Hall stated in an interview with the Financial Times that there is no need to discipline Andrew Neil for referring to Carole Cadwalladr as a “mad cat woman” as he had apologised - except for the fact that, while it may be plausible that Neil apologised to the BBC, there has not been a public apology for his comments

Sticking with the BBC, it took just two editions of Question Time before Fiona Bruce showed her true colours as she spent ten minutes making jokes about Diane Abbott (including suggesting that she only became Shadow Home Secretary because she once slept with Jeremy Corbyn) prior to one edition which Abbott was a guest on, and for the remainder of the episode constantly talked over Abbott while letting the other guests speak uninterrupted, including allowing Isabel Oakeshott to not just make a patently false statement but use said patently false statement to attack Abbott.  It wasn’t helped that when the BBC finally got around to admitting fault almost two weeks later, their statement actually said it was a joke - you know, like the school bully tries to claim when they get caught

Oh boy, there were so many triggered manbabies were up in arms about a Gillette advert for suggesting that maybe, just maybe, being a toxic dickhead isn’t any way to behave - to which they responded by acting like a bunch of toxic dickheads throwing a temper tantrum all over social media not seen since Nike featured Colin Kaepernick in an ad campaign

I’m going to assume AnonymousQ1776 thought they were being really, really clever when posting that video clip of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez coupled with their sneering comment that made them sound uncannily like a teenage edgelord who doesn't know what communism is but throws the word around a lot.  I’m also going to assume they weren’t happy when the stunt backfired on them by not only making Ocasio-Cortez look like a normal human being who does normal things, but doing so also reopened the can of worms about what Brett Kavanaugh was up to when he was younger...

Middle England’s favourite edgelord Rod Liddle obviously needed to be extra quote-unquote provocative this month after using his column in The Sun to suggest that what Britain needs is a new political party that represents traditional values - which means neither Muslims nor the entire LGBT spectrum are not allowed

Just when you thought John Humphreys couldn’t sound any more like a pompous windbag with the credibility of a arthritic toad, he only goes to suggest that the Republic of Ireland should rejoin the UK - because who gives a toss about centuries of history or the minor inconvenience of 92% of irish people preferring to remain in the EU when Radio 4′s most jumped-up presenter suggests they swallow their pride and return to the warm chokehold of the British Empire? 

It appeared The Daily Star had a real scoop when they printed an interview with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in which he made scathing comments about the “snowflake generation” and how they were “looking for reasons to be offended” - that is until Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson issued a statement saying that not only did he not say those things, but he also never gave that interview

It seems The Board of Deputies of British Jews never got around to reading The Crucible judging by their going Full Baddiel and accusing Tottenham fans of antisemitism and, in the same statement, said they should follow the model of Chelsea fans - yes, the same Chelsea fans who have subjected Spurs fans to songs about Hitler and gas chambers for decades, who just so happen to be under investigation by UEFA for their anti semitic chanting during a Europa League match against Vidi in December

This month’s worst case of Trump Derangement Syndrome comes from Sarah Huckabee Sanders after she said that God wanted Donald Trump to become President in an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network

Lucky for Lara Kollab there’s nothing in the hippocratic oath forbidding being an anti semitic bigot on Twitter.  On the other hand, there certainly was in the employment contract at the hospital she worked at, which is why they fired her

Somehow the British Army paid £1.5m on an recruitment ad campaign that was so successful that it led to members of the army quitting when finding out their photos were used to recruit “Snow flakes" (sic) and “Me me me millennials” - but that didn’t stop Gavin Williamson claiming it was “a powerful call to action” (rather than “bloody patronising”) while James Cleverly mouthed off like an idiot on Twitter in support because mouthing off like an idiot on Twitter is all that somebody who makes their surname fair game on a regular basis like James Cleverley knows how to do

It took a while but Jake Paul finally found a way to reclaim his crown of Most Odious Paul Brother by hitting upon a loot box scheme to encourage his viewers to, in effect, gamble - because apparently he (and Ricegum) only paid attention to the part where the likes of Electronic Arts were making money hand over fist when they were shoving loot boxes in all their games, but didn’t bother listening when various gambling commissions began looking into the practise

To prove my point James Cleverly took it upon himself to take to Twitter and sneer “You do realise that it’s not a documentary” when I, Daniel Blake was airing on TV - because it's better to score points on Twitter than admit that a UN report late last year was damning of the Tory government’s treatment of their less well-off citizens, isn’t it?

Trying to explain away his dickheadishness saw Wayne Hennessey claim he wasn’t doing a Nazi salute in a photo that happened to be taken by German teammate Max Meyer, he was actually waving at somebody - and the reason he had his finger on his top lip wasn’t the well-known mimicry of Hitler’s ‘tache but he was putting his hand to his mouth so somebody on the other side of the room could hear him.  For some strange reason nobody was convinced...

Attention-seeking loon Laura Loomer didn’t learn from the humiliation conga line that was her so-called protest at Twitter HQ judging by her protest against illegal immigration that involved her climbing over the fence around Nancy Pelosi’s property and setting up a stall on Pelosi’s lawn - at which point she appears to have forgotten what she was protesting about and instead kept yelling for Pelosi to respond to her, even though anyone with C-SPAN would’ve told her Pelosi was currently in the Senate

In order to promote her UK tour Azealia Banks thought the best idea was to vomit a long string of invective about the Irish on her social media all because she got irked by one Aer Lingus flight attendant

Can somebody tell Bill Maher that he doesn’t make himself sound more correct every time he regurgitates the “adults shouldn’t read comics” rant he first brought it up in the wake of Stan Lee’s death?  Because it appears nobody has

Out of curiosity, is Gregory Prytyka Jr. still popping over here in an attempt to find material to try and attack me with because they can’t handle the fact I called them out for their tedious shitposting, or have they crawled back under the rock they usually live under?

And finally, harrumphing to himself in a way that everyone can hear (although they wish they couldn’t) is Donald Trump and his banquets that look suspiciously like those given by the megalomaniacal villain of Kingsmen, continuing to throw a diplomatic temper tantrum over a wall he said Mexico would pay for

#dickheads of the month

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: March 2019

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of March 2019 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

Even though Queensland is noted for being in Australia and not New Zealand, that did not stop Fraser Anning from rushing to his keyboard in the wake of the Christchurch mosque shootings to issue a statement to mouth off like an ignorant twat about immigration, gun laws and how that damn dirty left-wingers will try and make a white nationalist shooting up a mosque about Islamophobia, deeply-ingrained racism and the fact psychopaths can get hold of guns without too much difficulty as they would be desperate to make some kind of political capital out of it - unlike Fraser Anning, who definitely wasn’t using anti-immigrant and Islamophobic rhetoric while slagging off the left to try and get his name into the public eye as he tries to get his own political party off the ground.  Luckily that’s the only shitehousery he was responsible for...oh wait, no, there's also the fact that when he got egged the day after making these comments, his response was to hit the kid responsible - the second time clearly a case of him getting in a jab when he realised the person who did it was much shorter than him, before letting his security team lock him in the sort of chokehold that gets security teams fired on the spot for being a walking lawsuit

At the end of a bizarre rant where Theresa May blamed everyone but herself for the last two years of fumbled Britait negotiations (that definitely weren’t kickstarted by her triggering Article 50...) she came to the conclusion that she is on the side of everyone who is on the fence of her twice thrice rejected Britait proposal...contrary to what her stint as Home Secretary, let alone Prime Minister, suggests

Isn’t it strange that Sajid Javid was so determined to be seen holding Facebook to account for streaming the Christchurch mosque shootings, yet didn’t have a single syllable to say about The Daily Mail and The Sun not only also posting that very same video but also slapping ads on it?  Now why would it be that he neglected to mention them or their monetising the footage?  Anyone?

Once again Theresa May tried to claim there is no link between the decrease in police numbers and the increase in knife crime which just so happen to coincide with one another, which of course cannot be linked to the fact that a Home Secretary by the name of Theresa May is the one who saw thousands of police officers laid off with the swish of her pen - although this time Cressida Dick was swift to say that, actually, combating crime is a lot more difficult with less officers, which indicates that Dick has qualified for her pension...although that doesn't excuse Cressida Dick for her bizarre comment that knife crime is the fault of the educated middle classes due to their coke habit

Soon afterwards Philip Hammond refused Sajid Javid’s request for additional funding to combat knife crime, meaning that in Hammond’s mind it’s better to have people stabbed than have to dip his hand into the money jar

According to Gisela Stuart the Vote Leave campaign can easily prove they did not break numerous electoral laws...well they could, but they happened to destroy every last scrap of data about the campaign which makes it a little difficult to prove it, but we can trust what they say...right?

When it was time for Theresa May’s deal to get a third go-round in parliament The Independent Group Ltd knew what was the most important thing to do - announce they were changing their name to Change UK...a name change that rapidly led to Change(dot)Org consulting with their lawyers about Chuka Umunna’s mob not just “borrowing” their name but pretty much aping their Twitter handle, and the fact that Anna Soubry called the group “Change Dot Org” in Commons did not help their defence

Even by his usual standards Chris Grayling had a bad start to the month, as on March 1st not only did the story break that his awarding a ferry service to Seaborne Freight in spite of their lack of ferries meant the government had to pay Eurotunnel £33m, but it also emerged that his changed to the probation service when he was Justice Secretary had cost the taxpayer at least £171m, with estimates suggesting the cost could creep up[ as far as £500m - but for this all he received from Theresa May was a pat on the head, because thanks to these two stories breaking within hours of one another there was no real coverage of the fact that the High Court had deemed the Hostile Environment legislation she passed when Home Secretary as unlawful, which makes Grayling her useful idiot

Once again Karen Bradley demonstrates her unsuitability to be Northern Ireland Secretary by invoking the Nuremberg defence when she suggested that it wasn’t a crime when Northern Irish civilians killed by the British Army during The Troubles because the soldiers were only following orders - a statement she happened to make during a government investigation into whether or not the soldiers responsible for Bloody Sunday should face prosecution

Waffling gargoyle Nigel Farage was determined to walk all the way from Sunderland to London as part of the Britait Betrayal March...right up until a mere 350 people showed up, to the point where there were more journalists than people marching at points on the first day, at which point he fucked off down the pub with the £50 everyone in attendance paid to cover a week’s food and lodgings while professional gaslighter Isabel Oakeshott was left trying to claim that only 200 people were supposed to turn up in spite of the fact Farage claimed a whole digit’s worth more would show up at the very least, meaning one of them was lying  

Also benefiting from Grayling’s useful idiocy was Martyn York and Dorinda Bailey and the Boris Johnson: Supporters’ Group on Facebook where Bailey posted all manner of Islamophobic comments, not least suggesting that mosques be bombed, but as this story also broke on the day of Grayling’s failings all that needed to be done was for Brandon Lewis to claim that Bailey wasn’t a member of the party - which is more than a little awkward considering Bailey was wearing a Tory rosette when running in the Newcastle-under-Lyme council elections in 2018

Shortly afterwards Boris Johnson himself demonstrated how the monkey only follows the organ grinder’s instructions by calling the money spent investigating cases of historic child abuse was “spaffing money up the wall” - which managed to be a comment that combined a slang term for male ejaculation when dismissing investigations into historic child abuse coupled with him thinking Londoners have forgotten how much money he pissed away creating numerous monuments to Boris Johnson in central London during his stint as Mayor

Spiteful child Rachel Riley thought she was being oh-so-clever when her response to somebody punching Jeremy Corbyn while holding an egg (and not, as The BBC et al suggested, throw an egg at Corbyn) by posting a screengrab of an Owen Jones tweet from when somebody threw an egg at BNP leader Nick Griffin saying, if you don’t want an egg throw at you, don’t be a Nazi - of course you shouldn’t dare come to the conclusion that she called Corbyn a Nazi, absolutely not...because she’ll sic Mark Lewis on you and claim libel 

Yet somehow that isn’t the worst thing Rachel Riley managed this month, considering she went on a crusade to cost The Canary their advertisers and was more than happy to outright lie in order to do so, getting on board with the Stop Funding Fake News mob to accuse the site of sexism and (of course) antisemitism which saw both eBay and the Macmillan Cancer Trust pull advertising from the site (albeit Macmillan soon reversed their decision when the reality of what Riley and friends were up to came to light), because if there’s on thing guaranteed to make you look like you’re on the right side of history it’s lying to a cancer charity in order to bully the left-wing press by costing them their source of funding while also painting them as an operation ran by angry bigots with no accountability when both The Canary and Evolve Politics are both covered by Impress Media - unlike the bilge her good friend David Collier vomits forth onto the internet in support of the voices inside Riley’s head...

Once again Roseanne Barr decided to beg for attention from the only people willing to give a crap about her, this time conversing with that well-known advocate of women’s rights Mike Tyson where she came to the conclusion that it’s perfectly acceptable to sexually harass or rape women if Roseanne can somehow twist that into a punchline of “Well, you ain’t nothing but a ho” - which she says while whoring herself out for attention from the far-right, before a day or so later once again trying to “clarify” her comments when she realised that the far-right already have their preferred voices and they’re not interested in having her speak for them

In possibly the worst example of equating two things that are not remotely related in some time we have both John McTernan and Siobhain McDonagh stating that, for somebody to be anti-capitalist means they also have to be anti semitic.  No, just...no

Continuing his crusade against nominative determinism was James Cleverley complaining that the second go-round of Theresa May’s inept deal was unfair because those voting didn’t know all the facts - this after the best part of three years telling people to stop moaning about the EU Referendum result even though those voting didn’t know the facts...

Also demonstrating a lack of self-awareness in Parliament was Ian Austin who stood up in Parliament to moan and complain about how it's completely unfair that he;s no longer allowed to take part in Foreign Select Committee meetings having voluntarily left the Labour party, at least I think that’s what he was saying as most of it was the usual “Corbyn Bad Man” gibberish - and to underline the childishness of this, it wasn’t long before both Joan Ryan and Mike Gapes stood up to chime in with their own “Corbyn Bad Man” gibberish while agreeing how completely unfair it is that somebody who voluntarily left the Labour party is not allowed to partake in Labour committee meetings, somehow failing to see the obvious point

In a genius piece of marketing Tim Martin blamed Wetherspoons’ 19% drop in profits over the last year entirely on Remain voters - because it’s definitely not related to Wetherspoons head honcho Tim Martin devoting an awful amount of his time since June 2016 telling Remain voters that they should stay out of his pubs because he doesn’t want them there...

This month’s remarkable self-own by Julia Hartley-Brewer was her trying to prove the petition to revoke Article 50 was a sham by her signing it and telling her followers to also sign it using her name and the provided e-mail address...meaning that not only did she show her opposition to the petition by signing the bloody thing while also bringing the petition to the attention of her followers, but also demonstrated she doesn't understand how petitions work and nobody else can sign it using the e-mail address she provided 

You have to hand it to Esther McVey for publicly umming and ahhing about whether or not she could bring herself to support Theresa May’s Britait deal before deciding that she could - and almost immediately making it clear why when she announced her constituency had received a £21m injection for infrastructure spending, not only making it obvious that she’d sold her vote for the cost of a garden village but also guaranteeing that anyone else publicly umming and ahhing about supporting May had a starting bid for their bribe from the magic money tree

Does it not occur to Suzanne Evans that it takes just a second to see how obvious it is that the Twitter accounts she’s retweeting as “proof” of...something are obvious sockpuppets?  Apparently not...

Emergency Boris Johnson Michael Fabricant had a brilliant take on Britait, suggesting everything will be fine because Greenland’s doing alright.  This is Greenland, an autonomous Danish territory with a population of 55,877 whose economy is entirely based on exporting seafood and 20% of the country’s population lives in one city, which is perfectly comparable with the United Kingdom with its population of 66,040,229 people scattered among numerous cities and an economy that’s far more intricate

The worst possible thing David Steel could have said about the accusations of then-Liberal MP Cyril Smith would be for him to claim it was nothing to do with him ...which is exactly what he did when he said that the allegations of him abusing children were nothing to do with him, even though as leader of the then-Liberal party the lack of due diligence into Smith before letting him into the party anyway

You would have thought that Valve would have responded to somebody selling some obvious troll bait called RAPE DAY on their platform by remembering how they responded when Active Shooter was last year’s obvious troll bait that existed in the hope it would make some quick and dirty money off the saddos who live to “trigger the libs” - but no, they forgot that they stated they would remove games that were obviously made by edgelords trying to piss people off to get some spite buys and instead gave some mealy-mouthed reasoning for pulling RAPE DAY from their service that only invited more condemnation from the usual REEEEEEEEEEdom of Speech mob while also managing to damage the company PR, and the fact they managed this when even the game’s developer Desk Plant said he shouldn’t be selling it via Steam

The increasingly deranged Michael Jackson fans had a genius idea for how to respond to Leaving Neverland: put up posters around the London Underground suggesting that all people claiming to be victims of child abuse are liars, because when it’s a choice between considering the possibility of Jackson being a paedophile and deciding all victims of child abuse must be lying there was only ever one choice available for them - which says it all, really it does...

Sniveling little weasel Mike Dean was hoping to pull the wool over people’s eyes with his one-sided report into the confrontation with Tottenham coach Mauricio Pochettino after SPurs’ game against Burnley in February, even though his report failed to match up with the televised footage and went out of its way to make no mention of what he said - but, of course, trust The FA to go along with it because referees should be respected at all times, even grossly incompetent ones who are blatantly lying...

The latest victim of Neesonitis was Amber Rudd when, in an attempt to defend the dogwhistler’s favourite target Diane Abbott from the volume of abuse she receives online in an interview with Radio 2, she described Abbott as “a coloured woman” so the conversation moved on to Rudd using outdated terms to describe people of colour -  although she didn’t help her casewhen she used the exact same excuses that Angela Smith did a couple of weeks before when she made her “funny tinge” comment to describe BAME members of the public

Embarassment to the Youtube platform PewDipShit PewDiePie howled at how unfair it is that T-Series was using celebrities to endorse their channel as it continued to threaten to knock him off his perch, conveniently forgetting how he tried to get numerous Youtubers to rally around him when it looked like T-Series was going to knock him off his perch

So have Arsenal fans worked out what the offside rule is yet, or are they still howling in indignation about how they’re the victims for conceding a perfectly legitimate penalty against Tottenham?  I’ll give you a hint: it’s going to be the latter for some time to come

It appears that Stuart Jeffries wasn’t actually watching Arcadia when writing his review for The Guardian, because somehow he’s the only person who watched it whose takeaway of footage of 1920s miners leaving the pit covered in coal dust was how in the 1920s people wore blackface to work

I do hope Vasco da Gama fans have to endure watching their team being humiliated on the pitch on a regular basis, because their spamming the ever loving shit out of any Twitter feed they can find with the name of their club was the most obnoxious display from Brazilian fans since the obnoxious sense of entitlement they showed during the 2014 World Cup - and also the reason the whole world was supporting Germany in the semi-final

And finally, having a strange inability to tweet about the suspected sex trafficking ring operating out of Mar A Lago is Donald Trump and his tantrums about how he wasn’t invited to John McCain’s funeral in August last year

#dickheads of the month