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#phew... wrote this in one sitting so i hope its coherent lmao
pain-suffering-even ยท 1 year
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Hey um... ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘ˆ do you have any other... uh... religious trauma hcs? Specifically for Izawa?!?! I definitely won't go feral if you post some :'3
hm... i don't have anything off the top of my head for him, but i'll whip up something real quick. i already have a few head canons for him, which i'll just mix into this, but i'll try and keep it as plain as possible for anyone to add on/be able to input what they think <3
content warning for religion/religious trauma and mention of oc character death and internalized homophobia/transphobia (very brief mention)
i would guess he's about 20, maybe 21 now - so he would be young when the gates appeared, 10 or 11. around this time he would maybe start leaning a bit harder into his faith since he's young and is terrified about what is happening. not to mention he would also be reawakened as an S ranker
for about several years, he'd ask god to protect his sister and his family - while he doesn't have a good relationship with his dad, he still sees him as a human being and values his life, and his step-mom has always been kind to him and gave him a sister, and later on, a brother
(if you really wanted to add in angst, his step-mom or step-sister could die in a gate break related incident - that could be the thing that really breaks his faith)
there are things that happen in canon, tragic incidents known world-wide because of the sheer amount of death and destruction. Kamish, Tokyo's Red Gate Incident (not canon; i whipped it up for goto ryuji's backstory), and all around any tragic stories involving people being lost or dying in gates would continuously shake his faith
coupled with the teenage angst hormones, his outlook on religion might do a 180 as he gets older - while he still believes in god/a higher power, its clear whatever he's praying to doesn't value human life
around this time he would be attempting to move out on his own, since his home life would be getting progressively shittier with time, only making him more and more frustrated
he would definitely feel guilty as well, because as an S ranker, he can definitely stop all of this death, but he can't do anything because he's still technically a child
(also - i headcanon ippei as being born intersex, which i know is out of left field, so i'm just going to mention it briefly - his gender/sex/all that would cause conflicted feelings about his faith as well, because he wants to trust god, but he also feels as though he's wronged him by being born the way he was - internalized homophobia/transphobia and all that)
in the present, he would probably hold grudges against god for not being there or not intervening. he might sit down for a prayer out of instinct/as a last resort before a tough gate or something similar - it would be tough for him to break old habits, as much as he doesn't like it
so... there you have it! growing up close to god, feeling betrayed and abandoned when shit got real, yet still reluctantly believing in god and praying/talking to him despite also feeling anger and resentment towards him. (and, an optional splash of internalized homophobia and transphobia or a dear family member dying due to a gate for maximum angst)
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