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#and i will roll with just about anything
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Hey um... 👉👈 do you have any other... uh... religious trauma hcs? Specifically for Izawa?!?! I definitely won't go feral if you post some :'3
hm... i don't have anything off the top of my head for him, but i'll whip up something real quick. i already have a few head canons for him, which i'll just mix into this, but i'll try and keep it as plain as possible for anyone to add on/be able to input what they think <3
content warning for religion/religious trauma and mention of oc character death and internalized homophobia/transphobia (very brief mention)
i would guess he's about 20, maybe 21 now - so he would be young when the gates appeared, 10 or 11. around this time he would maybe start leaning a bit harder into his faith since he's young and is terrified about what is happening. not to mention he would also be reawakened as an S ranker
for about several years, he'd ask god to protect his sister and his family - while he doesn't have a good relationship with his dad, he still sees him as a human being and values his life, and his step-mom has always been kind to him and gave him a sister, and later on, a brother
(if you really wanted to add in angst, his step-mom or step-sister could die in a gate break related incident - that could be the thing that really breaks his faith)
there are things that happen in canon, tragic incidents known world-wide because of the sheer amount of death and destruction. Kamish, Tokyo's Red Gate Incident (not canon; i whipped it up for goto ryuji's backstory), and all around any tragic stories involving people being lost or dying in gates would continuously shake his faith
coupled with the teenage angst hormones, his outlook on religion might do a 180 as he gets older - while he still believes in god/a higher power, its clear whatever he's praying to doesn't value human life
around this time he would be attempting to move out on his own, since his home life would be getting progressively shittier with time, only making him more and more frustrated
he would definitely feel guilty as well, because as an S ranker, he can definitely stop all of this death, but he can't do anything because he's still technically a child
(also - i headcanon ippei as being born intersex, which i know is out of left field, so i'm just going to mention it briefly - his gender/sex/all that would cause conflicted feelings about his faith as well, because he wants to trust god, but he also feels as though he's wronged him by being born the way he was - internalized homophobia/transphobia and all that)
in the present, he would probably hold grudges against god for not being there or not intervening. he might sit down for a prayer out of instinct/as a last resort before a tough gate or something similar - it would be tough for him to break old habits, as much as he doesn't like it
so... there you have it! growing up close to god, feeling betrayed and abandoned when shit got real, yet still reluctantly believing in god and praying/talking to him despite also feeling anger and resentment towards him. (and, an optional splash of internalized homophobia and transphobia or a dear family member dying due to a gate for maximum angst)
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chappelroan · 6 months
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8x11 larp and the real girl is a gay dean manifesto, to ME
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coolnonsenseworld · 8 months
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(it's a continuation of previous posts about the calendar)
For March Lance voted to do some tree hugging and grass touching in a constantly busy world of trying to pass exams and earn money and they had a picnic for an entire day. Keith wholeheartedly agreed, but also felt like it’s way too cheesy. Still, Lance didn’t even have to win him over with sushi. Sushi was just a nice surprise. When Lance reports back to Hunk how his Saturday went using the phrase "dancing underneath the moonlight", Hunk opts out of the details. Lance tries to explain it’s not an euphemism, but Hunk just politely reminds him he can keep speaking just. No. Details. (he does that a lot when Lance starts gushing about Keith)
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little-pondhead · 9 months
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[inspired roughly by this post. My brain snails started going nuts so I thought it'd be easier to post this separately :)]
It was a lovely day in Gotham. Well, as lovely as it could be. The sun was up, peeking through the overhead cloud cover and making the buildings gleam in the rare sunlight. The air was fresher than usual, and faucets ran clear of strange and unusual toxins.
Somewhere in the Upper East Side, in a little neighborhood tucked away from the rest of the city, marched around the new boss of the area. She was a young girl, just barely in high school. But despite it being the middle of a work day, she wandered around her chosen streets, content to do whatever she wanted. Above her, a pair of siblings watched on and discussed the unique situation.
"So let me get this straight: that fourteen-year-old goth girl is a crime boss?"
Mia smiled at Leon, her older brother, and his dumbfounded expression as they rested on her balcony. "She's fifteen, actually. Her birthday just passed. We all got together and threw a block party for her!"
"You know how insane that sounds, right?" Leon turned to her, a bit miffed that she dared to say those words to his face. "She's a kid. Why do you all listen to her?"
Mia shrugged and sipped her beer. "She does good work. Holds her own pretty well, and the kid has connections. Good ones, too. That can be the difference between life and death in Gotham."
Leon rubbed his forehead in frustration. "I just don't get it. How did she end up in this line of work? Do child labor laws even apply here?? Why aren't the Bats doing anything?"
"Don't think about it too much, dipshit." Mia crushed her now-empty beer can in her hand and tucked it into a paper garbage bag hanging off of a hook on the balcony rail. A familiar set of green arrows was printed on the side.
"And now you're recycling?!" Leon realized. "When did you start doing that, Mia??"
The woman shrugged and got up, stretching. "Probably around the time Brambles absolutely reamed out Mrs. Zalinski for littering at the park."
"Wait, who's Brambles?" Leon scrambled upright and followed his sister inside.
Mia laughed. "Brambles is our fifteen-year-old crime boss!"
...
"I can't believe you got a cool name right off the bat," Danny grumbled, flopping onto Sam's bed face-first. Sam smirked and shoved him off with her foot. Danny just squawked and let himself ragdoll to the ground.
"It's your fault for not having a better gimmick." She said to his prone body. "Besides, it could've been worse."
"I think Inviso-Bill is the worst possible nickname for anyone." Danny groaned. "But you got something cool immediately. Who even thought up 'Brambles'? That's such a unique name!"
"Well the kids call you Grim; that's pretty cool."
Danny flopped over, twisting himself much farther than any human was supposed to just so he could glare at her face. "They only call me that cause one of the is obsessed with Harry Potter." He grumbled, pouting.
Sam just rolled her eyes and went back to sorting through piles of papers scattered all across her duvet. Since moving to Gotham several months ago, Sam had taken it upon herself to turn the experience into something useful rather than just moping all the time, as she originally wanted to. That 'something useful' had landed her as the newest crime boss in Gotham, with about a third of the Upper East Side as her current territory.
So many problems had popped up in the last year, and the group had decided that taking it on alone would never work. The GIW had been trying to close Amity's borders, Danny's parents had a scientific breakthrough, tensions in the Realms were high, etc. There was a lot on their plate! Sam's solution was to create a foothold in Gotham City. She would lay the foundations for Jazz to work in Arkham and forge a safer environment for the residents of Amity Park to sneak off to if the GIW went too far. She was essentially weaving a cushion for everyone to fall back on.
Danny, using the power of duplication, was splitting his focus between foiling his parent's plans and resolving issues with his rouges to create a united front. He was the main distraction, and Sam's own heavy hitter when she needed help establishing dominance.
Tucker planned to gather intel with the help of Technus and Jazz. They were trying to gather as much evidence as possible so they'd be in the clear when the whistle blew. The GIW would crash and burn, legally speaking. They were the bugs of the operation, spreading themselves thin and hoarding information like it was candy.
Dani was their wild card, their jester. She was keeping the JLD's attention focused solely on her and all the supernatural hijinks she was stirring up. When the time was right, she'd point them in the direction needed and let them loose. After winding them up so much, the hope was that the Justice League Dark would descend upon the GIW like hellfire.
But those were their future plans. Right now, Sam was in possession of specific files from Arkham Asylum and the GCPD. She was looking for anything to give her an edge in the upcoming meeting with a few other crime bosses. Some annual thing they host to renew Goonion contracts, see who's still alive, and examine how much the territory lines have changed. Stuff like that. Red Hood was supposed to be there, and she knew she needed an ironclad defense against him and his nosy colony of Bats.
Danny untwisted himself all of a sudden, making a weird face. "Sorry, got to go." He apologized. "Vlad just showed up to my house."
Sam waved him off. "Go, I'll be fine for today. Just be on time for the meeting on Friday. And I want you, not a double."
"You got it!" Danny did finger guns at her and promptly melted into a pile of green goo. Right on her bedroom floor!
Sam sighed and got up to throw a towel over the puddle. The ectoplasm would evaporate eventually, returning to the original Danny little by little. But for now, this would keep anyone from asking about it until it was all gone.
Sometimes she really hated living in student dorms. People always felt the need to burst into her room for no reason.
Who even made dorm rooms for high schoolers in the first place??
...
Jason couldn't help but stare at the new recruit.
Well, 'new recruit' wasn't exactly accurate. 'Potential to be the most headache-inducing supervillain' was more like it. Standing at a solid 5'10" with platform boots, Brambles, the newest crime lord who had taken over half of the Upper East Side in under four months, was almost tall enough to look him in the eye straight on. Which she tried to do anyways, tilting her chin up oh-so-slightly (in that stupid way aristocrats do when they want to look down at you) and glaring at him with open hostility.
Brambles was young, way too young to be in this line of business. At the start of the annual underground crime meeting (yes, they couldn't come up with a better name), she had announced that she was fifteen, went by she/her, and would snap the dick off of anyone who looked at her funny. Most everyone laughed at her, thinking it was an empty threat. Brambles proved it wasn't by sucker-punching a younger lieutenant who tried to get handsy with her five minutes into the meeting.
When the lieutenant's boss protested and threatened a gang war, Brambles had snapped her fingers and summoned what could only be a fucking pit demon from the depths of hell to threaten the man back. The creature looked like a teenager, just like Brambles, at first. But it was...off. The longer you looked, the worse it got.
It wore a draping black cloak that covered most of its body, with the ends turning to mist when it reached the floor. It had a pale, young face and white hair. Its eyes glowed just like Brambles', except they were a toxic green that made Jason's heart skip a beat in fear. The creature was snarling, with a fucking muzzle on it to keep its sharp teeth away from wandering fingers.
With a nod from Brambles, the creature bounded forward and knocked the guy to the floor, its arm elbow-deep into the guy's chest. The dude looked terrified, and a little sick "Would you rather lose a lieutenant or your life?" She had snarled, sounding almost a bit demonic herself. The other boss had backed down without another word, writing off his subordinate as dead and gone.
Instead of killing the guy, however, Brambles simply banished her little guard dog to a corner of the warehouse to play with its new toy in peace.
"Is she allowed to do that?" Someone whispered.
"They weren't unionized, so the Goonion won't say anything." Another answered.
It was the most awkward meeting in the history of the criminal underworld. No one even died since they were all focused on the newcomer.
Jason could feel a headache forming as the meeting came to an end. Brambles was still sitting in her chair. The creature had grown bored of its toy and was leaning against her, sprawled out lazily and barely flicking an ear at the onlookers in acknowledgment. A few people were idling around her, mostly women, trying to talk some big game and get on the kid's good side. Brambles was humoring them, taking tight control of the conversation when they got too prying.
Jason sighed. He knew he'd have to go over and have a talk with the kid, even if it was just for Bruce's files. He hauled himself upwards and stalked over. "Pardon me, ladies and gents, but I'm going to borrow the kiddo here for a moment."
The creature hissed at him, tensed at his approach. Brambles kept a tight grip on the back of its muzzle, keeping it grounded. The other criminals scattered like flies. They were the only two (three?) left in the warehouse within minutes.
Bramble rose to glare at him. "What." She spat. "If you're here to convince me not to get involved with anything, I will set Grim on your ass after lighting it on fire."
The creature, Grim, growled in agreement. The sound echoed strangely like he was hearing it from underwater.
"Relax, I'm not here to do any of that." Jason raised his hands in surrender, immediately abandoning that possible line of thought. "I'm just here to talk business. You're young, and while you don't want to admit it, inexperienced."
"Stop the fancy words, Red Hood." Brambles' eyes glowed again, and she released her hold on Grim's muzzle. "If you want to make a deal, say it to my face. If you're here to dig for information, either ask me or hit the road. I prefer honesty over flower talk, so tell me what you want before I take over your area, too."
Jason bristled. His vision was tinted green as he snapped, "What the fuck is your problem, kid?! I just wanted to make sure you were safe and not being forced to do this. I was even going to offer my support and protection if it was too much! I know you aren't going to stop, but that doesn't mean I want a kid to die just because they got into something they shouldn't and they think their fancy guard dog will always be there to protect them!"
Brambles' eyes stopped glowing, and her stare softened a bit. Grim went deadly still, just floating there, staring at Jason. His heart beat like crazy in his chest. What was he saying? It was all true, but he could've been nicer about it. Dick would've found a way to be nicer.
-krrrk- "Ibis, reporting in. I think you can trust him, guys. Even if he's a Bat, his connections and experience would be useful in our plans. Ibis out." -krrrk-
Jason flinched from the sudden noise, looking around to find the source. It sounded like it had come from everywhere, even inside his own helmet. Brambles immediately switched out her hostile look for an annoyed one, tapping an earpiece he hadn't noticed before.
"Ibis, you really have to stop opening up our comm lines to the public." She snapped, but there was no real heat to it. "And I thought I told you to stop eavesdropping!"
-krrrk- "Sorry, can't help it. I'm everywhere now! You shouldn't have given me this power." -krrrk-
Grim hissed.
-krrrk- "Don't hiss at me, young man! You were the one who suggested this!" -krrrk-
"I'm sorry, time out!" Jason made a T with his hands. The green from his vision had completely disappeared now. "What the FUCK is going on now?"
Brambles sighed, rubbing her temples. "You know what? Fine. We'll trust you. My name is Sam. Nice to meet you, Jason Todd."
Jason stepped back, immediately reaching for his gun. Grim darted forward and promptly flew through him, stealing all his weapons in one go. "I'm Danny!" Grim-Danny?-chirped in a human voice, giving him a shit-eating smile. "Sorry for the act, Mr. Hood. And sorry about the name drop, I'm the one that told them."
-krrrk- "I'm Tucker! There are more of us, but they're busy. I have literally so many questions for you, Mr. Hood." -krrrk-
"Now that introductions are over-Danny don't eat his smoke bombs, you're not gonna look like Dorathea-we'd like your help."
Jason squinted at them. "You understand this is all suspicious as fuck, right? And how did a pit demon find out who I am?"
-krrrk- "Yeah, we know. But lives are on the line here, and I think you'd really be a help!" -krrrk-
Brambles-Sam-sighed and pulled out a flash drive. "I was going to use this as leverage, but I guess it'll have to be useful in other ways." She tossed it to Jason, who numbly caught it. "Look over it if you want. If you don't, then just burn it. Do not try to plug it into the Batcomputer. Don't try to send it to the Batcomputer, either. A virus will target that specific IP address as soon as it makes contact. Any other computer is fine."
"Look it over, and we can go from there," Danny added, spinning in midair while chomping on one of Jason's knives. (His good one, too!) "And I'm not a pit demon, but I am dead. That's how I knew about you. Whatever brought you back to life gave the Realms a real headache for a while. It wasn't hard to look you up in the records."
"This is so much information. Lives are on the line? And two, three kids are dealing with it? By becoming crime bosses?"
-krrrk- "Technically, Sam's the only crime boss here. And that was kind of an accident. She was supposed to create a safe foothold in Gotham in case we needed to evacuate our town. But we all got cool nicknames out of it! And you're the only adult we've told this stuff to!" -krrrk-
"I'm what?"
"The only adult." Sam's unwavering gaze seemed to pierce his soul. "There are quite literally no other adults that can help, Red Hood. None that we trust, not really. Any adult intervention needs to be planned carefully so it doesn't backfire on us. We're trusting you here, Jason. Not only are you like us, which technically puts you in danger too, but you have power and connections to support a whole town of people the government wants to eradicate."
Jason looked at the little green flash drive in his hand. He didn't want to ask. "And this...?"
"A fruit basket," Sam said simply. "Originally, it was supposed to be blackmail. But instead, this is a present to show our goodwill and faith. To show you our skills. That drive contains information on other gangs, upcoming rogue attacks, chemical breakdowns of Joker Venom and Fear Gas, unfinished antidote formulas, etc. Tucker and his team scoured the underbelly of Gotham and gathered dirt on every single prominent figurehead. Including Bruce Wayne, should you choose to use it."
"I would never-"
"But you've thought about it." Danny cut in and scratched his neck. Jason's hands shook. "It's not a bad thing. It's just the nature of the dead. Wanting to right the wrongs left over from their time with the living. Even if you walk and breathe now, that doesn't mean desire disappears."
"The point is, we need help. Even if I'm loathe to admit it." Sam rolled her eyes, and suddenly, Jason didn't see a potential supervillain in the making. He saw a teenager trying her best, shouldering the responsibility of hundreds of people, both in Gotham and her hometown. Danny looked the same, no matter how other-worldly he was. What battles were they facing? Why weren't there any adults to turn to? What kind of lives were they leading if they immediately trusted a known crime lord with their lives upon the first meeting?
"I'll think about it." Jason finally said. Danny trilled in excitement, and some tension bled out of Sam's shoulders. "If the situation is bad enough, however, I'm calling in someone else for help."
Danny shrugged. "As long as it ain't Batman! I don't think he'll appreciate us smuggling a town of liminals into his city."
Sam poked Danny's shoulder, prompting him to look at her. "Let's go, before you break his brain with more info-dumping. Bye Red Hood!"
"Uh, yeah. Goodbye!" Jason stuttered. He watched the two kids walk towards the exit door, before shimmering out of sight before they even touched the handle.
What the fuck.
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ibeewashere · 2 months
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I genuinely cannot describe how deeply DEVASTATED I am about riz being the only one who can take stress tokens for the others. Yes fig is a protector and will fight endlessly for her friends and I love that about her but there is something about the way riz loves his friends. It’s a more subtle kind of love, but just as relentless and passionate and he will take any burden for the people he cares about and bear the weight of it on his shoulders so they don’t have to deal with it without any hesitation. I am ILL.
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burning-sol · 4 days
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chip art??? from me???? no freaking way!!!
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cerise-on-top · 3 months
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How would arm wrestling go with TF141+Alejandro and rudy?? just a random thought i had and you're a great writer keep at it hun :))
Hello! I only write for four characters at a time, so I chose the first four you mentioned! I hope that's alright! But feel free to send the same request in again with Alejandro and Rodolfo, I don't mind :-) And thank you, I appreciate it! I'll keep going for a while! Probably for at least another half year or so ^^
Arm Wrestling with the TF141
Price: He doesn’t have time for something as childish as this, so he’ll likely dismiss you when you ask him to. It’s not that he’s afraid to lose, quite the opposite he’s proud when his soldiers are stronger than him, whether that be physically or mentally. But he’s too busy for something like this, he either has to be in a meeting sometime soon or has an ungodly amount of work to do. You’d need to either rope Soap and or Gaz into this as well for him to actually consider arm wrestling you. Plus the two or three of you need to be very annoying about this as well. If you promise to shut up about it, he’ll allow it and fight you, but not for long. Truth be told: You’d need to be very strong in order to win against him. Out of the TF141, he’s the second strongest and doesn’t relent easily either. He does have some pride as well. Try as you might, without some good amount of muscles you likely won’t win. If you do win he’ll sigh and ask you if you’re finally happy, if you’ll finally leave him alone after this. Do that, you have enough to brag about like this as it is. However, if you lose he’ll give you a look that screams “I told you so”. Despite him knowing that that will only spur you on to do better, to finally beat him, he will give you some advice on how you have a better chance at beating him. After all, he needs his soldiers to be at their best, physically and mentally. He won’t train with you, but if you’re really determined to beat him then you can train with either Soap or Gaz. They’re not as strong as him but it’s better than nothing.
Gaz: Oh, he’s down for any challenge. However, unlike Price, he’ll be a little shit about it if you lose, giving you some sarcastic comments about how strong he is. He doesn’t mean it in a bad way, but he does like the accomplished feeling of beating someone at something many people are better at than you. Gaz isn’t among the physically strongest soldiers out there, but he can use his noggin better than most of them, so it’s not uncommon for him to lose against Soap in an arm wrestling match. It gathers quite a crowd from time to time as well since the two of them can be at it for more than ten minutes at a time. Gaz usually loses, which hurts his pride a bit, but he doesn’t sulk too long about it. So you losing to him feels good to him, but if he goes overboard with his comments he’ll apologize and make it up to you somehow. However, if you do win, then please don’t make too much fun of him, he hates it enough as it is. He’s not mad at you if you do win, he’s far too mature for that sort of thing, but you don’t need to rub salt into the wound. But you can be certain that as soon as you’ve asked him twice for a match that he’ll come to you from time to time and demand a rematch as well. He’s just that eager to finally score another win against one of the soldiers on base. He’ll be annoying, but it’s kind of endearing just how ambitious he is, you gotta give him that. Once he finally does win against you he’ll give you a big smile and shake your hand. If you’ve had many matches before then you can be certain he’ll feel something bittersweet, like a rivalry that just ended. But don’t worry, he’ll continue to challenge you.
Ghost: Doesn’t want to arm wrestle with you, doesn’t care about it either, you can annoy him all you want. Unless you rope Soap into this again, he won’t even consider it. You both need to be very annoying about it, with both of you calling him a chicken for refusing you. Cluck at him as well and he’ll give in eventually. He’s quiet the entire time, the only thing showing he finally accepted your match would be him waiting at the nearest table for you. The two of you would gather quite the crowd, with lots and lots of people coming to watch you. After all, who wouldn’t want to see that? The Ghost potentially getting his ass kicked at an arm wrestling match. Again, you’d need to be exceptionally strong to beat Ghost, he’s the strongest out of the four. If it’s obvious to him that you’re struggling to keep him at bay, he’ll toy a bit with you. Nothing like some harmless fun. He might seemingly give in for a moment, only to take it away from you and then beat you properly. In fact, you could try to get his hand down with both of your hands and you would likely struggle, if you win in the first place. Ghost is a force to be reckoned with. Besides, he likely won’t accept another challenge, so you better make this one count. If you win he’ll be pleasantly surprised, he was confident you wouldn’t. There won’t be anything fancy going on, aside from the cheers from everyone on base and their congratulations. Ghost will congratulate you as well. If you lose then he’ll tell you that he told you so, but won’t take it further than that. Might give you a pat on the shoulder if you did well against him, but that’s about all there is to it.
Soap: I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the one to challenge you first, actually. This guy is as competitive as it gets, so there’s a chance he’s challenged everyone on base to at least one arm wrestling match. It’s a friendly and harmless way for him to show others what he’s made of, that they better not push him around, regardless of who they might be. However, he never turns down a request like that, everyone’s beloved sergeant needs to be there for his subordinates. Plus he’s a fun guy as well, who loves a good challenge. He’ll wish you good luck against him with a confident grin. It’s not that easy to beat him either since he is very muscular, but he’s no Ghost when it comes to physical strength, so it likely won’t be impossible to score a win. Harder to beat than Gaz, but easier to beat than Price. But I reckon you should do your best to beat him since he can be quite annoying when he does win. He references the two of you having a match, which he oh so graciously won. He’s a bastard like that, who will make fun of you for a bit. He’s not above rubbing salt into your wound when you’re making yourself out to be more important than you actually are. However, he’s just as annoying when he does lose, always wanting to fight you again and again until you’ve finally lost. He has his pride and he will make a fuss about it as well when he does win. Not above cheating to get what he wants either, so he might invite you for a strong drink afterwards, intoxicate you and then have another match. But he’ll do that exactly once since winning like this doesn’t feel nearly as good to him.
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beanwood · 5 months
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*bounces* "I don't know what to do"
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buboloboogie · 8 days
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HAPPY LATE 420 TO THE SUCKER BOYS !!!
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bro is about to be highlo for the next 48 hours
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plantboiart · 1 month
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Rolan didn’t realize he loved the other two until it was too late. Until it had been years since they’d spoken, even longer since they’d seen each other. And when he realized, he didn’t know what to do. How to deal with the fact that he loved two people he could barely even say he knew anymore. He didn’t understand how he could love concepts, memories filled with laughter and affection and the always somewhat present smell of smoke.
But he did. He loved them. Felt his heart skip a beat when a girlfriend’s dyed blonde hair momentarily made him mistake her for Kian. His body warmed up when she spoke of a fantasy story she’d read, explaining all the little details that Rolan would remember for the rest of his life in the same exact way that Rand would. When he heard a song on the radio, and his first thought was still “Kian would like this”. When the smell of smoke and alcohol and weed that always clung to Rand’s attic bedroom never quite left him.
Kian knew he loved the other too far too early, before anything could be done about it. When their biggest worries were still exams rather than missing sisters or corpses that nobody else could see. And he hated himself for it, hated how quickly and easily his love turned from something acceptable into something they’d hate him for. Hated how no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t get rid of the love he felt for them, how each time he hugged or just sat near them it would feel forbidden, like a secret they all had to keep but only he knew about.
But he couldn’t stop the way he felt. How his heart hammered in his chest when Rand rested his head on his shoulder because it was still normal to him. How his body burned when Rolan helped him bleach his hair during the early hours of the morning, talking about everything and anything to pass the time while they waited. How he mourned the friendship he still had with Rand, now tainted with lies because that was the only way Rand could still care for him. How he still felt such a desperate need and pain when yet another call to Rolan went unanswered, his words and pleas falling to nothing as he knew the other would never hear them anyways.
Rand only understood that he loved them when they were gone. He realized with fear and pain and yerning that the betrayal and loneliness he felt when they left wasn’t born just from his best friends leaving him behind. And he didn’t know how to feel, how to deal with it. Just like he didn’t years later, when he was left behind again, both of them gone somewhere he couldn’t bring himself to follow, only remembering how he felt when Rolan Deep and Kian Stone were both nothing but memories a few people held and empty graves he left flowers to.
He loved them for the rest of his life. His heart still skipped a beat whenever he passed by Rolan’s home, like he was still expecting the other to sneak out of the back door and join him in whatever he was doing. His body always felt cold and hollow, like something was missing, whenever someone touched him with the same care and gentleness that Kian always had. He locked up in terror whenever he heard the clicking and buzzing of ordinary bugs that had seemingly overtaken Galloway since the hive died. He screamed when the phantom flesh and blood that forever coated his barely living body wrapped around him tighter in a mockery of an embrace.
Rand loved the other two for the rest of his life. And he hated it more than anything.
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milfygerard · 2 months
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but fr outside of my contracted madness i absolutely refuse to give joe alwyn gold rush like how is that song at all related to their relationship the lyrics clearly spell out a relationship that either never existed or only existed in implication and fantasies and maybe-maybe nots and its so bitter and yet desperately soft in the bridge where it almost projects a sense of envy, of wanting to be them as much as you want them. It continues an interesting oft ignored lyrical trend of taylor wanting just as much to be her lover as to have them, envying their easy charisma (you were flush with the currency of cool/i was always turning out my pockets) or quiet dignity (your integrity makes me seem small) dating back to her earliest songs (the kind of flawless i wish i could be). Theres a projected self hatred and yearning to be better that twists itself into both romantic and sexual lust for her partners thats so fascinating and speaks to how all of her songs regardless of who theyre about are also an act of self reflection on who she is and who she wishes to be.
#barry.txt#taylor swift#putting this in the tags as a form of self protection but make no mistake this is a gay thing to do especially in gold rush#which through simple context clues is Obviously About A Woman or maybe even women in general#whivh is a totally seperate post on how taylor constructs and uses gender identity in her music#her girlhood and femininity are earnest but also so carefully constructed and so high effort and kind of desperate#shes a deeply self concious and obsessive person who never looks comfortable in anything ever unless shes#onstage or like. by herself in loose jeans and a tshirt#i think thats one of the things that subconsciously irritate ppl when it comes to her shes constantly and clearly putting in effort#to appear As The Celebrity Taylor Swift and struggles not to self censor or overperform in interviews (when she gives them)#especially present in pre 1989 interviews where the interviewers really didnt have to respect her or worry abt how they frame her#if they didnt want to. Like the fearless era rolling stone interview where she almost has a meltdown over her mom buying eggnog instead of#milk. That whole interview is strange looking back not just bc of the weird misogyny but also because of what it does share#taylor is....weird. She has a strange and desperate vibe and always reacts slightly too much and uses slang poorly#shes media trained and has learned how to socialize but you can feel her discomfort whenever she doesnt have a guitar in her hand#idk these tags have once again gotten so unweildy. i just find it interesting that she finally feels some level of comfortable#in sharing that construction w us in songs like mirrorball and mastermind and imo gold rush#and scene#should i write this up and put it in the swiftieism zine#i should write something and put it in the swiftieism zine
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ollylotl · 2 months
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Didn't you think her so cute when she slept like the dead?
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add1ctedt0you · 4 months
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What a plot twist you were. [x]
#Like. The narrator introduces jc to us as the antagonist#Then we got to know him. Not who people think he's. But who he really is#And we saw jc giving wwx a piggyback. Giving him soup. Rescuing him. Putting himself between wwx and any danger (madam yu/wen soldiers)#And even the staged fight. It's yk. Staged#jc wanted to protect wwx at any cost. But wwx wasn't willing to compromise. But jc did#The fight was wwx's idea. Because jc is an enabler (just like jfm and jyl)#jc is ready to bend for his loved ones sake#The point is. Every action jc takes. Is in the name of his loves ones' safety. And surprise. wwx is one of the people jc really cares about#Even after wwx' return. Aside a broken cup. jc isn't doing much to stop wwx or anything. We know that jl was able to free wwx from Zidian#only because jc - Zidian's primary master- wanted it!#And jc fling himself into danger countless times to save wwx even though wwx can't sit still with him for a hot minute#What I wanted to say it's that the jc is presented to us - the mean ungrateful man- is very different from the real jc -#the indulgent uncle who rolls his eyes at his nephew antics. the brother who buries the hatchet for his sister's happiness.#the uncle who kinda wants to help wn to get up from the floor because he was an ass to jc but he helped jl and that's what matters to jc#the sect leader who let two women speak freely their mind in a patriarchy society#People better than me have already said this. shit I can't remember my point lmao#Like. jc is presented as an antagonist but what this man wanted was an apology and an explanation#This post is a mix of a rant I wrote last year (ha) after seeing a bad take. About what I don't remember lmaoo. And me wanting#to make gifs of wzc in this scene. Why does he look so good. It should be illegal. Seriously#jiang cheng#*mgifs
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princeshilo · 6 months
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girl help i can’t stop drawing ashe winters
[please click for higher quality !!]
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mayasaura · 2 years
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When it comes to John, I have zero interest in condemning him. First of all, it's boring. You mean destroying the world and lying to your friends about it is bad? Shocking. Groundbreaking character work.
Second of all, I'm just not all that comfortable with condemnation in general, not when it comes to whole-ass people. Actions, for sure. I am ready to wholeheartedly condemn pretty much every decision this man has ever made, but I'm only comfortable doing that with a side of compassion for the man himself. Tamsyn said once in an interview that some of the discussion she's seen about Harrow is unintentionally very cruel to people with mental illnesses, and I feel similarly seeing a lot of the discussion around John. If I'm going to try to figure out where he's coming from, why he did the things he did, and what he thought he was accomplishing by doing them, I'm not at all interested in coming at those questions with contempt or disgust.
To me, the main question when it comes to John is: What do you do when you feel that you're unforgivable? That you've fucked up so completely no one will ever love you again, unless you lie and trick them into it? How do you deal with shame? And while part of the answer is definitely "Holy shit, not like that," what I'm most interested in is: what should he have done instead? At what points in his narrative could he have changed his course? And at what point, if ever, did he become right about it being impossible for him to dial it back and turn around?
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silicon-puppy-pudding · 8 months
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Weird DP x DC Dream I had
Just had a dream that Danny and Ellie let Batman set them up with a home base in exchange for them following his rules when they do vigilante stuffs in Gotham.
It was their first night on patrol and Danny was meeting with Superman? And Superman was interrogating him? Concerned for him? Idk. But he was feeling weaker around Danny so he was worried about that but never directly asked if he had Kryptonite or anything on him. (Wtf)
The Weirdest part was the end when Danny got back to their appartment (that the Bat set up for them). He comes in and starts ranting to Ellie, who is still in her vigilante garb (which, idk where my brain got the idea for it but it looked cool as hell! I may draw it later if I can remember it enough), about how weird Superman was being and how tired he is and he doesn't even realize Batman in in the room. When he does and the Bat makes himself known, he wants a debrief. After that he pulled out a Giant fukin Watermelon and proceeds to pull Damian fukin Wayne out of it. He's unconscious and Batman is holding him up like a fuckin fish he just cought, by his ankles! And with no other context he smiles and asks Danny, "Do you think you're ready for this?" While looking between the two. And they were on the roof now? And Jason was there in his civvies and a domino??
....And then I woke up
And I will never know what the fuck that was about 😔
It felt like I accidentally skipped a chapter in a fic and then refreshed the page and the fic was gone forever 😭
I'm so fuckin tired 😩
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