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probaregtech · 1 year

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Project Management Dashboards and Utilizing Them for Maximum Productivity

Project management dashboards are essential for managing complex tasks and projects. In a fast-paced, ever-changing business world, project management dashboards can help individuals and teams stay organized, on track, and productive. By utilizing the right project management dashboards, teams can ensure that tasks are completed on time and that projects are completed efficiently and with the highest quality. Project management dashboards also provide visibility into the progress of tasks and projects, allowing managers to quickly identify any potential issues and take action to ensure that projects are completed on time and to the highest standards. Overall, project management dashboards are essential for increasing productivity and ensuring that tasks and projects are completed on time and to the highest standards. By utilizing project management dashboards, teams and individuals can stay organized, on track, and productive, enabling them to achieve maximum efficiency and success.

Exploring Agile Team Management Dashboards and How They Help Increase Productivity

The modern workplace is ever-evolving, and the dashboards and technologies used to manage teams and projects are no different. With the increasing need for greater efficiency and productivity, organizations are turning to the Agile methodology for project management to help them meet their goals. Agile project management dashboards are a type of software that enables agile teams to work collaboratively and efficiently on projects. These dashboards allow teams to plan, track, and collaborate on tasks in real-time, which helps to ensure that projects stay on track and progress quickly. They also provide insights into project progress, helping teams to make better-informed decisions. This helps to create a more cohesive and dynamic team and helps to ensure that everyone is on the same page. Finally, agile project management dashboards can help to increase team productivity. By providing the necessary dashboards and insights, teams can identify potential issues and make informed decisions to resolve them quickly. With better visibility into the progress of projects, teams can also identify areas that need improvement and take action to ensure that they are successful. Some remarkable features of Agile Team Management dashboards are:

Visualization Dashboards to help manage projects more efficiently

Project management dashboards are essential for businesses and organizations in order to maximize productivity and efficiency. Visualization is a key part of these dashboards, and they can help manage projects more efficiently. Visualization dashboards help to make complex projects easier to understand, as they allow for a visual representation of the project and its components. This can help project managers keep track of tasks and their progress, as well as identify any potential issues. It also helps in ensuring that the project is completed on time and within budget. These dashboards can provide project managers with an overview of the entire project, including timelines, milestones, and tasks.

Metrics for Tracking Progress and User Story Status

Project management dashboards can provide the necessary metrics to track progress and user story status. These metrics enable project managers to identify areas that need improvement, revise plans, and make necessary changes to keep the project on track. Data can be used to assess the health of the project, how much work is being completed, and how well the team is performing. It also helps project managers identify bottlenecks, potential risks, and areas of improvement. One of the most common metrics used for tracking progress and user story status is the ‘velocity’ metric which provides an estimate of the team’s performance by measuring the amount of work that was completed in a certain period of time. This is used to estimate how much work can be completed in the future. Project management dashboards are essential for tracking progress and user story status. They provide project managers with the necessary metrics to assess the health of the project, identify potential risks, and make necessary changes to ensure success.

Iteration Health Status and How It Can Be Improved Through Project Management Dashboards

One of the key indicators of project success is Iteration Health Status, which is a measure of the progress of a project. To start, Iteration Health Status is determined by a combination of factors. These include the number of tasks completed, the amount of time spent on each task, the quality of the work, and the amount of work left to do. Additionally, it takes into account the resources available for the project and the overall project timeline. All of these factors can affect a team’s ability to complete the project as efficiently as possible. Fortunately, project management dashboards can help teams improve their Iteration Health Status. They can also provide insights into the team’s overall performance, enabling teams to identify areas where they can improve their productivity and performance.

SDET Metrics and Improving Overall Productivity

Software development engineering teams (SDETs) play a vital role in software development, testing, and implementation. As the number and complexity of software projects continue to rise, the need for improved project management and productivity dashboards is essential. Project management dashboards enable SDETs to plan and track their projects, assign tasks, and keep track of time and resources. This can also lead to a better understanding of the project’s scope and any potential risks associated with it. By leveraging these dashboards, SDETs can ensure that their projects are on track and that they are able to measure the effectiveness of their work. This can lead to improved productivity and an enhanced understanding of the project’s scope.

Capacity Planning and Utilizing Effort Burndown

Project management dashboards are a great way to maximize productivity and ensure that all tasks are completed, deadlines are met, and goals are achieved. Capacity planning and utilizing effort burndown are two of the most important project management dashboards available to help facilitate the successful completion of projects. Capacity planning is the process of understanding and predicting the amount of work that a team or individual is capable of completing in a given timeframe. By understanding team capacity, project managers are able to plan workloads accordingly, ensuring that tasks are completed on time and that resources are being utilized in the most efficient way possible. Effort burndown is a dashboard that helps project managers track the progress of a project over a certain period of time. It allows project teams to visualize the progress of the project in terms of effort and tasks completed in a particular timeframe. This can help project teams adjust their strategies and course-correct when necessary. By utilizing both capacity planning and effort burndown, project managers can gain a better understanding of the overall progress of a project and make sure that resources are being used in the most effective way possible. This can help teams stay on track and increase productivity, leading to successful project completion.

Trend Analysis and How It Can Improve Productivity

Project managers have long used trend analysis as a way to improve productivity. It enables them to identify patterns and anomalies that could potentially lead to better results and increased efficiency. By analyzing trends, project managers can identify areas where productivity can be improved and make changes accordingly. Project managers use trend analysis to identify areas of improvement in their project. For example, they may look at the data that shows how long each task takes to complete and identify if there are any patterns in the way a project is completed. Another benefit of trend analysis is that it allows project managers to anticipate future trends. This helps them to plan ahead and make changes that will ensure that the project is completed on time and within budget. They can also use the data to forecast future trends and make decisions that will help to maximize the efficiency of the project.

In conclusion, project management dashboards offer a variety of powerful benefits for businesses of all sizes. By utilizing these dashboards to organize tasks, track progress, and collaborate with team members, businesses can maximize productivity and streamline project workflows. Probareg is such a dashboard that provides insightful reporting into the project’s status. By using Probareg, project managers and other stakeholders are enabled to view project progress, health and other metrics and generate automated reports and publish them in PDF format. Probareg can also be integrated into enterprise outlook and other workflows.

#project management #agile methodology #agile project management #project management dashboard #project management tool

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123digitaldesigns · 2 years

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#etsy #etsy shop #digital template #project management dashboard #dashboard #project management #template #project dashboard #google sheets #google template #google sheets template #support small business

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crmplatformdashboard · 2 years

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CRM Admin Dashboard Template

CRMi admin is a unique dashboard with features like Project and it’s status; activities timeline option. Revenue, Orders, Sales visits, monthly revenue and performance tracking. Bootstrap Admin Dashboard Template. We have developed this admin template by unique and minimal look of the CRM’s software. Bootstrap 5 latest with SASS. CRM Admin Dashboard Template a clean way to use the design for your dashboard projects. This can be used for admin dashboard Applications for your online applications.

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hradminist · 14 days

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efficiencytracker · 2 months

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From Chaos To Crystal Clear: How A Project Tracking Dashboard Saves The Day

Staying organized, informed, and on track is essential for achieving success. Amidst the myriad of tools available, project tracking dashboards emerge as indispensable assets, empowering teams to streamline workflows, monitor progress, and make informed decisions with ease.

In this comprehensive article, we embark on a journey to get some great knowledge about project tracking dashboards. From empowering project managers with real-time insights to enhancing collaboration among team members, these dynamic tools serve as the cornerstone of efficient project execution.

What Is Project Tracking?

Project tracking refers to the process of monitoring and managing the progress, performance, and resources of a project throughout its lifecycle. It involves systematically collecting data, analyzing metrics, and communicating updates to stakeholders to ensure that the project stays on course and meets its objectives.

Project tracking encompasses various aspects, including tracking tasks, timelines, budgets, milestones, and risks. By continuously monitoring key indicators and comparing them against predefined benchmarks or targets, project managers can identify potential issues early, make informed decisions, and take corrective actions to keep the project on track.

Effective project tracking provides stakeholders with visibility into the project's status, promotes accountability among team members, and facilitates timely adjustments to optimize performance and outcomes. Whether through manual tracking methods or specialized software tools, project tracking plays a crucial role in ensuring project success by enabling proactive management and alignment with organizational goals.

Can A Project Management Solution Help Business In Growth?

A project management solution can significantly contribute to the growth and success of a business in several ways. By providing tools and frameworks to streamline processes, improve collaboration, and enhance efficiency, project management solutions enable businesses to effectively manage their projects, resources, and operations.

Firstly, project management solutions help businesses optimize resource allocation by allowing them to allocate personnel, budget, and time resources more effectively. This ensures that resources are utilized efficiently, reducing waste and maximizing productivity across the organization. Additionally, for your employees you may use the employee tracking tool to know their daily work productivity.

Secondly, project management tool promote better communication and collaboration among team members, stakeholders, and departments. Through features such as task assignments, file sharing, and real-time messaging, project management solutions facilitate seamless coordination and information exchange, fostering a culture of teamwork and alignment towards common goals.

Moreover, project management solutions enable businesses to better track and manage project timelines, milestones, and deliverables. By providing visibility into project progress and performance, these solutions allow businesses to identify bottlenecks, address issues promptly, and make data-driven decisions to ensure projects are completed on time and within budget.

Benefits For Company By Project Management Tracking

Improved Planning And Organization: Project management tracking enables companies to develop comprehensive project plans, including timelines, milestones, and resource allocation. This helps in setting clear objectives, identifying dependencies, and allocating resources effectively, leading to more organized and efficient project execution.

Enhanced Communication And Collaboration: With project management tracking tools, teams can communicate and collaborate more effectively. Centralized platforms allow for real-time updates, document sharing, and task assignments, fostering collaboration among team members regardless of their location. This leads to better coordination and smoother workflows, reducing the likelihood of misunderstandings or delays.

Better Resource Management: Project management tracking helps companies optimize resource utilization by providing visibility into resource availability, workload, and allocation. By accurately tracking resource usage and capacity, companies can avoid overloading team members, minimize idle time, and ensure that resources are utilized efficiently across projects.

Increased Accountability And Transparency: Project management tracking promotes accountability among team members by clearly defining roles, responsibilities, and expectations. With transparent access to project progress, milestones, and deadlines, team members are more accountable for their contributions, leading to improved performance and outcomes.

Effective Risk Management: By identifying potential risks and issues early in the project lifecycle, project management tracking allows companies to proactively mitigate risks and minimize their impact on project timelines and budgets. Regular monitoring and reporting of project metrics enable stakeholders to make informed decisions and implement contingency plans as needed. Also Watch: Leading Employee Engagement and Workforce Productivity Tool

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Final Words!

The adoption of project tracking dashboards emerges as a transformative tool in modern project management, offering organizations unparalleled visibility, control, and efficiency in executing their initiatives. Throughout this exploration, we've delved into the myriad benefits and functionalities of project tracking dashboards, highlighting their pivotal role in optimizing project performance and driving organizational success.

Project tracking dashboards empower teams to streamline workflows, monitor progress, and make informed decisions in real-time, laying the groundwork for efficient project execution. By consolidating key project metrics, milestones, and resource allocations into a centralized platform, these dashboards foster collaboration, accountability, and transparency among team members, enhancing overall productivity and alignment towards common goals.

#Project Tracking Dashboard #project management tracker #project management tracking #project tracking #project tracking tool #Youtube

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envato31 · 1 year

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CRMS — Sales, CRM, Accounts Admin Bootstrap Template (HTML + Laravel + Vuejs + Reactjs + Angular)

A CRM (Customer Relationship Management) template is a pre-designed website layout that helps businesses manage their customer interactions and data. The “Sales, CRM, Accounts Admin Bootstrap Template” specifically refers to a template built using the Bootstrap framework that is aimed at facilitating sales, customer relationship management, and account administration. Bootstrap CRM Admin Template Dashboard type of template can provide a basic structure for businesses to keep track of customer information, sales leads, and sales activities.

CRMs Vuejs Admin Website Templates specific features of a “CRMS — Sales, CRM, Accounts Admin Bootstrap Template” will vary depending on the exact template you are using, but some common features might include:

Dashboard: A centralized view of important data and metrics related to sales, customer relationships, and account management.

Customer Database: A database to store customer information, such as contact details, purchase history, and communication history.

Lead Management: A system for tracking and managing potential sales leads, including their status, follow-up activities, and conversion rates.

Sales Funnel: Best CRM Admin Templates visual representation of the sales process, from initial contact to close, to help track progress and identify areas for improvement.

Task Management: A system for organizing and tracking tasks related to sales, customer relationship management, and account administration.

Reporting and Analytics: Tools for generating reports and analyzing data to gain insights into the performance of the sales and customer relationship management process.

Mobile Responsiveness: CRM Angular Admin Website Templates ability for users to access the CRM on their mobile devices.

User Management: A system for managing users and assigning roles and permissions.

Integration with other tools:CRM Reactjs Admin Website Templates Ability to integrate with other business tools, such as email, marketing automation, and payment systems.

These are some of the common features of a CRM Sales, CRM, Accounts Admin Bootstrap Template, but the exact features will depend on the particular template you choose.

#admin dashboard #admin management dashboard #admin management template #bootstrap crm admin #crm #crm admin #crm admin template #crm dashboard #crm template #crms #customer management template #customer relationship management #project management #sales dashboard #task management

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field-service-management · 1 year

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Tips to Increase Productivity in the Field Service Industry

Field service work is more complex than most realize. It's fiercely competitive and involves a good deal of logistics. Depending on the size of your company and what you do, you might have multiple teams on the field. Meanwhile, an in-office team does its best to communicate and provide support.

The goal of any company is to boost productivity. But if you're doing field service work, positive changes can dramatically improve how your company operates and generates revenue. Follow these tips to turn your teams into well-oiled field service machines!

Invest in Technology

Don't be afraid of technology. While many blue-collar workers show hesitation toward all things new, going digital can be a game-changer. Management software for field services can act as a centralized hub for every member of your team.

Use it to communicate with one another, monitor the progress of specific tasks, share documents like contracts and quotes, and more. The right platform can take productivity through the roof, ensuring that your organization stays connected no matter where your work takes you.

Allocate Tasks Strategically

Another way to use management software for field services is task allocation. One of the biggest productivity killers of field service work is assigning work without a clear strategy. While every team member should be capable of performing every job, some are better equipped than others.

The best way to improve productivity is to tap into your team's strengths. Use your software to determine what tasks need completion and who's available to work. Consider their skills, capabilities, and location. Careful task allocation can create a more productive work schedule while ensuring that your team does what they do best.

Stay in the Know

Our last tip is to stay informed. Just because you're in the office doesn't mean you have to be out of the loop. Management platforms can help you monitor the progress of every task and see where your field service workers are at any given moment.

Use that technology to assign tasks, adjust your schedule, and pick up more on the fly. When you know what's going on, you can take steps to improve productivity in any way you can.

Read a similar article about mobile GIS for field services here at this page.

#project tracking platform for field services #management software for field services #field service dashboard #project management for construction

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tebsolutions · 2 years

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#Power BI dashboards #project management software #project management tools #Microsoft Dynamics CRM #dynamics 365 business central

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by-any-other-pen · 2 years

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#etsy #project dashboard #templates #google template #project managment

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quikallot · 2 years

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Manage A Successful Field Service Venture With QuikAllot!

Longing to ramp up your field service business services in no time? Grab the right opportunity your company deserves. QuikAllot is the first-time-fix-rate all-inclusive field service mobile app that gets your business to deal with paperless works, excellent inventory management, customer management, team management, and work order management. It's now to work in your dream company by signing in with us for a free trial!

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freeexceldownloads · 2 years

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Prenatal Care Schedule Format

Download Prenatal Care Schedule format in Excel and Spreadsheet. This health care and personal log excel template helps you to recall your appointments with your gynecologist from the start of pregnancy till the birth of the child. A woman needs to get a checkup at regular intervals during pregnancy. This is easily printable template. You can take print out of prenatal care schedule and stick…

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#care plan ulcers bedsores #child care #conditional format #excel project management dashboard #excel spreadsheet budget #free care plans #how to budget in excel spreadsheets #medical health & pregnancy care clinic template #nursing care plan templates #nursing school schedule #parental care in women #plans of safe care #pregnancy care #pregnancy care during summer #sample nursing school schedule #schedule #scheduler

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123digitaldesigns · 2 years

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Etsy listing available in my shop

Check out this item in my Etsy shop https://www.etsy.com/listing/1235050560/project-dashboard-template-basic-action

#etsy #etsy shop #project dashboard #project management #project mangament template #dahsboard template #google sheets template #instant download #support small business

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storm-driver · 1 month

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hi, i have feelings about cartoon nostalgia and the audience perception of them 20 years on

this is gonna read hyper-specific, but bear with me

i refuse to credit butch hartman for the way danny phantom came out during it's first two seasons, at least outside of the initial pitch and the idea of the protagonist having white hair. i know the majority of enthusiasts for this show are more than aware of hartman's antics at this point. these anctics, i won't get into. other people are far more suited to explain that stuff vs me, a random guy on the internet. but there's very specific topics that i don't often see get brought up in detail, like the production and staff behind this show.

i'll get into it below the cut so as not to clutter your dashboard. but if you're not familiar with the actual production history of danny phantom, this might be interesting to read.

it's common knowledge these days that stephen silver is the one who developed the design for danny based on hartman's original rough sketches. the similarity between each drawing is apparent, but you can see clear as day which design was gonna be more apt for animation and overall audience allure back in 2003.

he also did character designs for hartman's other poster child, Fairly Oddparents. the trend is similar, though far from a huge concern. character design overhauls happen all the time in media production. designs might be too complicated for animation, so they get stripped down. or maybe things aren't complex enough and more nuance needs to be added. that's normal stuff, and i am not dunking on hartman for not nailing danny's design right out the gate. i'm pointing this out in case you've ever looked at butch hartman's recent work and wondered "how are these done by the same artist?"

the answer is they weren't. hartman had to adapt to stephen silver's conceptual designs in order to work on the storyboards. take from that what you will.

onto the actual writing.

butch barely wrote a single episode for this show's first two seasons.

steve marmel helped write at least 28 episodes of the original two seasons, with writers like sib ventress and marty isenberg bringing a good amount of episodes to the table, as well.

butch hartman is credited primarily for directing and storyboarding this show. the episode pitch and writing was by other people almost entirely. the ONLY episodes in the first two seasons that hartman is credited with having written are mystery meat, one of a kind and splitting images. and he's credited with co-writing these episodes alongside steve marmel and mark banker. ie, he did not write these episodes on his own. and allegedly, butch hartman had a tendency to be credited as a writer for an episode, even if he only wrote a few lines of dialogue. again, take from that what you will.

past that in season 3, he wrote infinite realms, torrent of terror, forever phantom, urban jungle, and ofc, phantom planet. which a lot of people know, these episodes in particular weren't the most enjoyable, nor was the overall direction of them very good.

a director's job is to make sure that the overall tone, feel, and message of the show is being kept consistent with intent. that means meeting with producers, who are the ones managing the, y'know, producing part of the whole project. it may sound like the director is the one heading the project if it's their job to keep things in check. which, i will not deny, hartman must've put in a good deal of work to make the show come out as well as it did.

but pile that with some of the off things per episode. the mean-spirited way that characters tend to be taught lessons, the voice direction getting a drastic change in season 3 (you can hear it explicitly with david kaufman suddenly going for higher pitches instead of the usual one he's done so far). there's really only one consistent motif in the entire show's OST. which isn't a bash against the music producer. it's a concern that the director of the show never asked him to change things up, and ONLY stuck to this one motif.

to briefly touch on the mean-spirited thing. there's multiple instances in the show where danny or someone else is seen fighting back against whatever has given them trouble, or they're taking matters into their own hands to ensure they won't be hurt ahead of time. and repeatedly, the show likes to kick these characters back down for trying to stand up. it's a trend in all of butch hartman's shows, and it's treated more like comedy than anything else. it's up to audience perception on how to view it. but for me personally, it starts to feel like an overused gag and turns into something more malevolent after seeing it overused almost every single episode.

okay besides that, i actually wanna look at specific examples of episodes that steve marmel wrote for. again, this is the guy who's more or less responsible for the show's serialization.

the complete list of episodes is as follows:

Mystery Meat, Parental Bonding, One of a Kind, Attack of the Killer Garage Sale, Splitting Images, What You Want, Bitter Reunions, Prisoners of Love, My Brother's Keeper, Shades of Gray, Fanning the Flames, Teacher of the Year, Fright Night, 13(Thirteen), Public Enemies, Memory Blank, Reign Storm, The Ultimate Enemy, The Fright Before Christmas, Secret Weapons, Flirting with Disaster, Micro Management , Kindred Spirits, and Reality Trip.

multiple episodes listed here are from the first season, which a lot of people consider the show's best. and of the handful listed for season 2, he wrote all of the hour-long specials.

i would be here for hours talking about how steve marmel tackles all of these characters and concepts significantly better than hartman does in season 3. but that's a topic best praised elsewhere. point is, if you watched any of these episodes and thought to yourself "wow, that was actually kinda clever," steve marmel is more or less the guy responsible.

butch hartman was in charge of direction, but that does not give him exclusive credit for every single line of dialogue or plot beat. there could be a LOT we just don't know because people on production staff don't want to comment. but the writing consistency taking a dive off the board by season 3, which is the same season that steve marmel departed from the project due to conflicting direction in the story? you might deduce that butch hartman was not the prized writer and artist behind this otherwise beloved cartoon.

to dredge up an easier-to-tackle target, season 3.

my criticisms are 18-year old echoes at this point, you've heard them all. from otherwise pointless episodes that don't develop the characters or world, to completely out-of-touch writing (looking at you, phantom planet) that juxtaposes the characters with everything we've been told about them so far. it became a slog of a season that didn't have any build-up to it's finale. the occasional gem of an episode like frightmare helped in some aspects. or the promise for something later with d-stabilized. but it all gets swept under the rug thanks to a rushed finale with poor build-up, bad writing direction for the characters, and most importantly, an unlasting effect on the viewer. (or a negative lasting effect, which is arguably worse)

for a season that knew it was on its last leg before inevitably needing to give up, there's seldom few episodes dedicated to advancing an overall narrative, and thus give a slimmer of hope for a satisfying conclusion. instead, the show goes all in with villain-of-the-week stories, and even the returning villains are hardly taken seriously or given more to do besides just being there.

of course, we know the reason steve marmel had left the project was because hartman wanted the show not to taken a more story-focused drive. it almost starts to feel like spite that kept the show so horribly grounded, letting it become stagnant before eventually being forgettable.

all this is in service of letting people know, it really wasn't butch hartman that made the show, not alone. death of the author and all that nonsense aside, he pitched the concept. and it takes a lot of love and dedication to make a concept something you can physically see and adore. don't let him swath in all the credit. recognize the others who made the work you can still enjoy.

#stormy weather #danny phantom #hey guess what i found in my drafts!!!#this is an INCREDIBLY old post #this is dating back to like almost 2016!!!#anyways i rewrote most of it because the og was a lil rough lol #but all of these feelings remain the same to this day #it's kinda wack #a younger me knew what he was feeling #and an older me knows how to say it

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prince-liest · 13 days

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I got a government grant from a clean air project for turning in my '97 Corolla for a very hefty chunk of money off of a new (or new-ish) hybrid vehicle from an approved dealership, finally went to purchase my new car today with my dad, and ended up getting a 2025 Toyota Camry SE.

Sorry, Alastor, I think I'm with Vox on the front of technological advancement, ahaha. It's almost a 30 year jump in car technologies and I damn well feel like I've upgraded into the new century (or, well - millennium, technically)! This car does so many things and they all manage to feel like they are actually convenient rather than useless technology bloat. I think this is technically what Nietzsche meant when he said that to live is to suffer, LOL. Can't appreciate the good stuff if you haven't experienced the alternative! Also, y'know. My breaks lost pressure on me in the middle of a winding mountain road with no cell service last month, so. That was the sign to move on.

It's so wild to go from a car that's got a plain metal key, a phone charger operated through the cigarette lighter that only succeeds in making my phone lose charge more slowly, an AC system that would vibrate the whole dashboard alarmingly if it had to work too hard, and music that I played through a casette tape with bluetooth connectivity...to a car where I get in, put my phone down on the wireless charging pad, and watch the touchscreen automatically turn on with my Spotify and Google maps. Never again am I going to accidentally leave my headlights on and drain my car battery, LOL. Thanks, battery-attached jumper cables, you served me well. The car is so damn quiet and smooth, too.

Also, it's a very pretty car! I got it in white. Sorry, "windchill pearl."

Anyway, I'm just experiencing a delightful bit of awe and joy. Happy graduation and early birthday to me! <3

#personal #dear diary #my birthday's tomorrow on the 22nd so the timing on this was great #I was gonna get a corolla hybrid but we straight up could not find one in any of the grant-approved dealerships #and my dad convinced me to go for the camry instead and is helping me pay what the monthly payments are over my planned budget #for the next 3 years until I make attending physician money and can just pay the thing off posthaste #I'm also excited for dynamic cruise control instead of regular basic cruise control #and the safety features have already come in handy for pinging at me when a dude with a moped swerved into my blind spot #getting things squared away at the dealership took many hours so I had no energy to write today but man am I pleased as punch

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sgiandubh · 4 months

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Just so stories: Mommy and Daddy

In the (questionably) blessed White Picket Fenced America of 1955, things were deceptively simple:

Mommy stayed home, while Daddy was earning enough cash to buy that new Frigidaire.

Uhm. No, not really: see what happens to Mad Men's Betty Draper, the pearl-stringed suburbia matron. Not exactly a cheerful look, but perhaps a true, albeit neurotic, one.

For some unfathomable reason, one of the main dismissive arguments used against shippers reads along some very similar lines. I paraphrase, as this is a collective POV (probably stemmed from CO's laboratory and snowballed to great success across their dashboards):

'Oh, aren't they stupid! How can they expect C to follow him around the world, children in tow, at his beck and call? Or to wait for him, military wife style, as he traipses from Vegas to London to Paris to Belgium? What are these, The Fifties?'

To this Dorothy Dixon, along comes one of the Tumblrette Pundits, with a ready-made answer, always the same:

'Of course they are stupid! Of course she doesn't! Every time she is working somewhere, she brings McSideburns and The Blonde Bambino around! And McSideburns takes care of Blonde Bambino, as he should! Reality, not fantasy!'

Let alone they have absolutely no clue about the real state of play, given the almost complete, paranoid opacity reigning since at least a Certain Sad Event. Let alone that no other logical/common sense argument provided is accepted (cults seldom deal in both acceptance and common sense);

Nannies? Pah, so 1992! Family safety net? Pah, so suburban! Working parents? Pah, these people are stars, their life is a cornucopia of perks and freebies and glam!

So, in a nutshell, according to them:

Mommy is busy working and Daddy follows all along/ stays at home with Blonde Bambino, hoping that Mommy will bring enough cashola to finish that double glazing people usually install in December.

In other words, we immediately picture C as a 'starke, titanische Weib' / the strong, titanic woman German poets were so fond of back in the 1800's. Dragging along a diminutive, shy, understanding and private McSideburns, trousered Vestal extraordinaire. The rest is taboo (or should be, in my book), at any rate.

Something wrong with this vision? Yes. It's exactly the 1950's one they accuse us of espousing (we don't), but this time the male/female symbolic roles are reversed. As a result, a shrink would have many thoughts and probably a handful of questions about that need to completely castrate the Goddess's Consort to perfect oblivion. Obliterating his life, his story and even his name, for Christ's sake!

Not a good look for either C and The Prop and, to be honest, quite a weird, borderline insulting one, especially when coming from 'respectful, realistic' fans. The real utility seems to be concealing the emptiness of a Tale Forever Untold. It will be effectively replaced by the chorus with the perfect fantasy of a modern dad, a successful producer/manager and so on and so forth.

Reality is a bit different, if you just take a look on The Fratellis' Wikipedia page and follow the links:

But, but, but... 'additional personnel' (😱😱😱) - how could that be?

And yes, remember (LOL) David Eustace and the FMN shooting photo of the Happy Dynamic Duo? Happy to oblige to a friend who provided a work project (that album was postponed two or three times, then released in 2021) during COVID, probably.

The mere thought of a young, urban, sophisticated, committed and trusting couple, living and loving their best life, traveling separately or together, allowing 'spaces in their togetherness' (wasn't that The Prophet quote she liked and shared?) is something that gives them the shingles. Anything but this. Anything - even that sad The Empress and Her Additional Personnel narrative.

You see, they don't like The Obvious. At all.

#just so stories #fandom #shitshow

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emporium · 1 year

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Brick Whartley: Escape From Clawland

After his short-lived stint as Chief Officer of Viral Marketing and Exponential Growth in April, Brick Whartley spent the last nine months banished relaxing on a remote, unnamed desert island 🏝️.

But one thing about Brick, a career Businessman, is that he found it difficult to relax for long. His brain bubbled over with concepts and pitches and decks and strategies for Maximizing Engagement: he just couldn’t help it! He had ants in his pants and they were saying CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!

So he gave in to the call of the business plan.

First it started with a branding exercise: the island needed a name, didn’t it? He called it Carcinopolis, and, with the help of his crab buddies, began designing a brand identity. Unfortunately this brand identity was a total failure as people thought going to the island would give you cancer. But a nimble pivot to an alternative name—Clawland—saw the island make a big impact in the tourism industry, with people coming from all over to dance and party with the energetic inhabitants.

Tanned and trustable, Brick’s cachet soared, and he moved quickly onto his next project. The problem was that the tourists coming to visit the crabs left when the sun rose, having danced themselves tired. Sure, they had already paid the fare to get onto the island, but as Brick saw them shuffle exhausted down the dock to the boat, his intuition said that there was another Engagement opportunity he was missing in the morning light.

Then he saw a tourist scoop up a shell from the shore and put it in his pocket as he staggered away. Hey! Brick thought. You should be paying for that!

And thus, Brick’s Crab Emporium was born. Crab and beach-themed merch for every taste: crab earrings, shell ties, palm tree tees. His operation, staffed entirely by diligent crabs 🦀, began churning out products by the hundred.

Brick efficiently trained his employees to act as product managers, printers, and salescrabs. The Emporium was so successful that at a certain point it began running itself, and Brick once again grew bored. He wanted to expand once more beyond the bounds of his island.

True, every time he had tried, he had failed… but as he gazed out over the horizon, he felt the call of Tumblr once more. The dashboard would never truly leave him.

He took out his shellphone 🐚 and speed-dialed his secret but loyal connection on the inside. “Hey, buddy!” he said. “Listen, I’ve got a business proposal for you. Have you ever thought about taking your merch operation to the big-time? My man, I’ll cut you a deal: you bring me on as Chief Officer of Merchandising and Physical Object Engineering, and I’ll ship out a fleet of my elite craftscrabs and mailcrabs to help cut and glue and ship it all out 📦. At no additional cost! Now whaddya say to that??????”

#brick whartley #escape from clawland #tumblr merch

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