#put more stuff under the read more because i dont wanna clog dashes

[pixxyofice]

🏰 cursinguponcastles

of course i manage to grab everything EXCEPT for my anxiety medications. they're still stuck there!! in the House!!! every night I worry my friends are going to leave me for asking them to come along and some part of my brain is like "you wouldn't be worrying if you had taken your meds" and I have to then tell my brain the meds. ARE NOT WITH ME!!!

(this post is unrebloggable.)

-

(anon) asked:

plum? how have you been running this blog without anxiety meds?

🏰 cursinguponcastles replied:

Um! How did you know I didn't have my anxiety meds??

-

(anon) asked:

Don't the Houses keep stuff, like, forever? I'm sure if you go back to that House you'll be able to get your meds back. Unless it's like, frozen or something?

🏰 cursinguponcastles replied:

Oh. Ohhhh. Well, um! I am going back to get them! They're back in Dormont! I just won't be focused on getting my meds when I'm there, you know??

-

🎗 ribbpeat reblogged from 🍑 yetanotherfinepeach

🍑 yetanotherfinepeach

so was anyone going to tell me the savior of vaugarde runs a horror blog account or was I supposed to just find that out from her APPARENTLY LEAVING HER MEDS IN THE CENTER FREEZING POINT

-

🍙 chateau-riceballs reblogged from 🧦 socks-to-be

🍯 lovelyhoney-truths

and just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, the savior of vaugarde turns out to be a tumblr user

🛴 offowchmy-nkee

and this is bad... how?

🍯 lovelyhoney-truths

How is this not obvious to you people? She's on tumblr. She's been ACTIVE. Instead of doing her job of saving us she's been giggling about her little vaugarde boys getting eaten. I'm sitting here typing with one arm waiting for vaugarde to be saved, and she's wasting time reading. Boo-hoo she left her anxiety meds in the House where the King is freezing all of us from. Actually, wait! Why didn't she just turn around and take him out? If she's supposed to save vaugarde, assigned to, and she was close to its starting point, why the hell did she walk the other direction and faff about?! Some Savior she is! Most of the country is frozen because of her! And instead of just shutting up and doing her job she went on a funny little pilgrimage. I'm not calling her a Savior anymore. 

🐱 ChangeGirlClaws

do you know about the existence of paragraph breaks. Like at all.

🎀 darts-chatting-blogg

Instead of looking at... all of that, apparently not everybody knows this so look at this.

THE DOORS OF DORMONT GOT LOCKED BY THE KING AND THE SAVIORS HAVE TO FIND FIVE ORBS TO BE ABLE TO EVEN TRY TO SAVE US. And in case you don't know, Vaugarde is huge! The saviors passed by my place a week ago and they only had four Orbs then.

I think Plum and her friends are making good progress, actually! I think she's allowed to relieve stress by reading about guts and gore, actually.

🍙 chateau-riceballs

she's what

-

🐝 finalgirl-standing reblogged from 🐮 The-Cointry-of-Voigarde

🍯 lovelyhoney-truths

Not only does that orb bullshit sound made up and stupid, but apparently Plum also runs a guts and gore blog??? what the fuck is wrong with her. Has she Changed to be so disgusting when she should be Changing herself to be able to save the country?? Do you guys really believe that shit? I haven't heard of a House where Orbs lock the gates, that's clearly her making up excuses for why she can't just go there and beat him. How can her friends stand to be with her when she's this irresponsible?

🎀 darts-chatting-blogg

One. The King warped the place (see image here!) and Dormont was known for experimenting with locks. People just be saying crab, I guess.

Two. Defenders. Get their asses. I'll start.

C

🎗 ribbpeat

R

🍑 yetanotherfinepeach

A

🛴 offowchmy-nkee

B

🐱 ChangeGirlClaws

P

🍙 chateau-riceballs

O

🦴 justanotherchange-blog

W

⚓️ insertcreativebloghere

P

🧦 socks-to-be

E

🐮 The-Cointry-of-Voigarde

N

🐝 finalgirl-standing

I

(this post is unrebloggable.)

-

⚓️ insertcreativebloghere reblogged from 🦴 justanotherchange-blog

🦴 justanotherchange-blog

if I was on a journey to save the country and I forgot my focusing meds at home I would just forget everything. Honestly, Plum's doing much better than I am???

⚓️ insertcreativebloghere

If i had to save the country without my meds i would've thrown myself into the sea

-

🐮 The-Cointry-of-Voigarde

(a picture of the countryside. Half of it is frozen, and the other half isn't)

Well. It was an honor, everyone. I'm glad to have contributed to the crab pow.

-

🏰 cursinguponcastles reblogged 🐧 penguin-do-be-writing

🐧 penguin-do-be-writing

hi everyone, sorry for the silence! My family has been loudly debating what to do about the freezing country, I think i touched something weird and my feet have stopped working for me, so it's hard to get to my writing desk. whoops! it's been a struggle to get words written down. Don't worry, though! I've got a chapter for everyone! This time, things get INTENSE. That internal organs being not internal warning was for a reason!

🏰 cursinguponcastles

CHANGE, THIS WAS SO GOOD!! I'm really sorry you're close to being frozen, but I could see how it affected how you wrote Dembélé struggling to get away! It felt too real, haha!!

I'll miss your fics! I, well, hopefully, will see you in a few months!!

#put more stuff under the read more because i dont wanna clog dashes #isat #in stars and time #dashboard simulator #unreality #? #mirabelle focused.

[trans-mink]

Do tell about your beloved kana, patience, halimon and vincent and rosetta and cinnamon and astrid!! (You could do a mambo no 5 cover with this)

YOU COULD!!! putting them under a cut bcs i dont wanna clog the dash lmao

So Kana and Patience (Patsy for short) are my newest OCs im so sorry to say they are dmmd OCs

so to preface, i have my own version of the dmmd universe where my OCs exist, several characters are trans and theres less questionable stuff n im sorry if this doesnt make sense if ur not familiar with the game. anyways...

Kana is a young bi trans woman who wound up in prison (before she fully cracked her egg) because she was addicted to this in universe thing called rhyme (its not important) but anyway she became part of Mink's gang after he busted them out of prison and basically was fuck buddies with her boss for a bit before he disappeared. After Mink's main route she becomes Aoba's bestie bcs Mink basically told her to watch over him.

She likes weed and dresses quite gothy/ emo. She works in a shop called deadbeats which is a second hand music store.

I gotta draw her more but... here she is with her bearded dragon

Havent drawn Patsy yet but she's a young black girl with purple hair, tends to dress quite bright. She's a jenga champion and /will/ cheat at monopoly. in my universe she lets aoba stay with her while he's in america looking for Mink. She's cool and bisexual and her dream is to travel around south america with her girlfriend one day.

Halimone, Rosetta, Cinnamon and kiiinda by extension Astrid are all Dungeons and dragons characters. Astrid was originally an MCU Asgard OC I made when I was like 14. They're not as developed but hey.

Hal is a gorgon who lives in the woods and wouldnt hurt a fly (think I'll make her a druid class or something). Her twists are snakes.

Rosetta (inspired by sister rosetta tharpe) is an archfey who escaped her home and travels around playing guitar for money as a bard.

Cinnamon was my first DnD OC and they are a little red tiefling magician. I don't have a solid story for them yet but they were a magicians apprentice until their tutor disappeared. (They're kind of a self insert)

I haven't drawn Astrid in years and my old art of her is bad but originally she was one of Thor's warrior friends. She has long bright red rapunzel- like hair that can go on fire, tends to wear it in viking braids. I think I'll repurpose her as an Aasimar Paladin/ barbairan when i end up playing another campaign.

I also have another OC called Eliza from the same universe which was literally just my 14 y/o self insert but I wanna repurpose her too.

And finally Vincent (vince for short). Bisexual he/they. Is a vampire the masquerade OC. He got turned at the age of 26 after a horrific biking accident where he was run over and almost died, it was the 80s so he's kind of a boomer when it comes to tech sometimes. He's in clan Brujah and likes robbing shit from rich ppls houses and then drinks their blood while they're asleep. He also helps out at night soup kitchens when he can, he's good.

Ive tortured you enough if you've read this far. Thanks for coming to my TED talk x

#ty for the ask!! #OCs #wezza reports

[acidmatze]

Long annoyed rambling post about my annoying brother. Under the cut because i dont wanna clog up y’alls dashes

my phone is constantly out of storage because because my bother keeps sending me videos of him doing like... normal things? They arent funny or interesting or anything

But the other day he send me 8(!!!) videos of him showing what he bought at the supermarket. Combined the videos were over 20 minutes long. He didnt buy anything unusual or something it was regular food stuff. And he was going on and on and on and showing each item in great detail and reading everything from the stickers on it and then the next day He Fucking Called Me. And started Asking Questions about said videos in an attempt To Find Out If I Actually Watched Them

AS OF THAT WAS A FUCKING TEST I HAD TO STUDY FOR

He even asked if i remembered WHERE IN THE KITCHEN THE SUGAR IS and when i couldnt asnwer because ofc i did NOT watch 20 minutes about him telling me how great he is for doing normal adult things he said hes disappointed that I am so desinterested in his life.

Would HE watch a 20 minute video about me rambling about my shopping? Nah ofc not. He wouldnt even watch a 20 Second video of anything thats not about himself. He doesnt even look at pictures other people send him but deletes them instantly. He admitted he watched his own videos five times.

Why am i making such a pointless rambly post?

Because he send me a video of him pouring himself a cup of coffee. Thats it. Thats the video. No hidden gag or anything. Just him pouring coffee and sugar into a cup.

Tomorrow hes probably gonna call me and ask me if i remember how many grams of sugar he put in his coffee and then chew me out for not answering correctly because i honestly couldnt give less fucks.

I would say “Wow the next step is probably him calling us whenever he takes a shit” But hes already Doing That. We all know all the details about his bowel movements and everyone of us is utterly annoyed but we cant make him stop. If i hang up he will call mom and bitch and moan and whine about how i am a Horrible Brother. And how i hate him for No Reason At All

Now, if MY FRIENDS would send me a 20 minute rambly video about their grocery shopping i would be delighted. But I know that they would be equally delighted and interested in me sending them an equally rambly video about something mundane back.

Meanwhile everyone is annoyed to hell and back from all the bullshit my brother send us and then demands we study all the shitty details about everything he sends us while whenever we tell just say One Fucking Word about anything going on in our lifes he throws a literal tantrum how we are egoistical assholes and never let him speak and we are all out to get him.

When he picked up my bff from the airport the whole drive back was just him holding an hour long monologue and we were both tired of it after ten minutes.

And now since his ex gf left him around christmas he got even more annoying because now he is partnerless and friendless and needs to bother someone new. So now he calls once a week and talks to me for two hours. He talks TO me not WITH me because i dont get to say a single word the whole time.

#blablabla

[onlyjihoons]

onlyjihoons’ first follow forever!

i’m so sorry this took so so long, it was meant to be done/posted on the first anniversary of this blog(25/12/17) but i didn’t have the time to do so:( if i left out anyone, feel free to let me know!

i’ll place this under the cut, so it doesn’t clog up posts:”)

personal mentions

@markleetrashh

cheryl! i can never forget or leave you out honestly, because you’re the first ever mutual i met on tumblr! i remember being uncertain about myself and you cheering me on to write my first fic:”) you have been there for me, be it in the very beginnings of mochamark, to now that we are going to our seperate post-secondary instituitions, you are really really one of my bestest friends irl too. please never ever be scared to just talk to me whenever especially since most of the time i approach you to scream over clinic boy and jihoon if you need someone to talk to! i love you very very so so much, i hope we can last forever till we are old and still scream over markipoo💜 and thank you for teaching me the birds and bees at 12am

@jjeehoon

jennifer! we didn’t really meet through tumblr honestly, i approached you first on wattpad because you opened a graphic shop, and we just hit it off when we talked when you still hardcore stanned jihoon but now you still scream over dorm jihoon with brown parted hair and i like that we can talk about everything under the sun and still joke sm. i love you so so much, even if we’re 18 hours away from each other i constantly want to fly to toronto just to give you a hug:”) here’s to more of me roasting you and our friendship heh

@alliwannado-w1

iris! you’re one of the first people to approach me to make friends, and till now i can never forget that. it’s really crazy how you actually came over to stay at my house for 4 days, i had so much fun with you and xuan it was the best days of 2017. it is a really big pity that you have to leave tumblr like that, i would miss you and your 3am posts on tumblr:( i vividly remember the last night where we just talked about everything and i nearly cried:(( you’re really an older sister i never had, and you filled that void for me even if it was just for 4 days. i’ll try to arrange a trip to KL when i can so i can visit you and your durian farm and your family! i love you and good luck with college💕

@hwangminn

rissa! i don’t know where to start honestly, you’re really mature for your age and i’m so thankful for you, making the constant effort to placate my clingy/whiny ass out of your busy schedule to talk to me. also being my #1 counsellor, and supporter, i really want to visit alberta to hug you, and thank you for everything. even with tricky timezones, you always manage to chat up with me, and also snek with me hahah i hope you don’t stress yourself too much with school, stay healthy and happy! i love you💚💚

@whatabrightplace/ @tinaneggo

tina! i can never thank you enough for being there for me whenever you can, and being honest with me about everything. i really love how youre just so swaggy with everything even when youre busy. you have also helped me through some rough parts of my mental state, and im so so grateful for that. as much as you tell me i’m good, you also excel in many parts i don’t and i’m proud of you for that. please don’t overstress yourself and stay happy! i love you💙💙

@pwjins/ @seo-yeons

allison! you’re someone i can learn sm from, applying for scholarships and juggling everything as a whole. even tho we don’t talk very often, we do go a lil crazy when we do haha, relating to many problems as 01 liners, and talking about anything and everything. i really want to fly over to wherever you are to give you a big hug, and just spend a day out together or something. i hope you achieve whatever you dreamed of and i love you🧡

@cannedapricot

apricot! i’m so thankful for you, when you confessed that you read my works since mochamark days i was really shocked. you never fail to hype me up, and support me through everything. we always have wild conversations it just cracks me up whenever i think of it haha. congrats on getting the classes you wanted, i’m so happy for you, and you worked hard. nEver doubt yourself!! i’ll always support you and i love you please cut down on the swearing too

@hwinkinghwi

xuan! im so thankful for you being there for me for everything, and we just complain about anything and everything its so funny omg. we both have similar traits and we always support each other throughout im really grateful;-; youre also there for me when im really hyper and stuff, im glad you havent actually blocked me asdfghjkl i love you and dont over-stress yourself for school!

@xiupch

shuri! we only started talking like this year and i dont regret it;-; you’ve been always making me laugh, with the venn diagram of winkzee vs jeongzee i cant breathe while thinking of it hahahaah i hope you stay healthy and happy and i love you<3

@wannawrite

L! i really enjoy talking to you as we do know the same people from your school and you’re the younger sister who always has my back! im so thankful for you even tho we don’t talk very often due to school and other commitments, i hope you do well in school! 姐姐爱你多多ok!!

Nic! i know we don’t really talk but thank you for sending me the letter! i was really touched that you sent me a letter and im sorry i have nothing to send in return;-; i hope you do well in secondary school and don’t be like me, a dumb ass who only does late minute studying:”)

@hyunjinh

jas wifey,, till this day i have no idea how i married sucha beatiful being i cry tears of jealousy every time i see your pics ugh. truly, a power couple jasxhyunjin jeongin and i are shaking:”) even tho you always have a bad habit of ghosting on me and sending me 1 second snaps, i still love you nonetheless and i hope we can talk more!! be it roasting/snakeing or screaming over hyunjin i’ll always be here to talk and i hope you can get your biopsych major!! i’ll be your exclusive reporter ok💘

@deepdickdaniel

ariane! youre one of the best moms i have on tumblr, telling and teaching me everything a true mother would:”) even though we don’t talk often, the things we talk about when we do are truly hilarious and im thankful for that. i hope we can talk more often, even if i’m your 1 in 30 children you have❣

@ongnable

jas! even if we haven’t talked often, i always see you on my dash and you’re just really adorable! constantly supporting me, im so thankful for you and i always melt when you talk to me. i hope you do well in college!

@pinksausageduo

dain! i remember reading all of your fics and lowkey fangirling when you followed me back aaaa thank you for creating everyong, and also making the effort to make everyone feel included! you always manage to get me out of my writers’ block, and i feel bad that i havent really helped you with your writers’ blocks:( thank you for also supporting me in everything, it means so much to me. i love you and stay healthy and happy!

@porkjeojang

sum! whenever i see you on my dash my day just lights up because your reblogs always cheers me up whenever. we havent been talking lately, i hope everything is going well! i hope you do well in college and everything you do<3

@aesjae

mia! i really look up to you being able to do well in everything you do, and also being able to put up with my childish jokes:”) please don’t ever doubt/underestimate yourself, you’re awesome honestly when will i ever be as good as you;-; your love for jae is just so pure i want to hug you, i love you and stay healthy and happy!

@7aiguanlin

xue! we barely even talk but i really love your works and its always something i read before falling asleep. i hope we can talk more and i hope you do well in everything you do!

@stormae

mae! i really adore you and cherish the times we actually talk, even if its short. your works never make me bored, and youre a really nice person to talk to! i hope we can talk more as well, please stay healthy and happy!

@day6euphoria

sarah, i can never ever leave you out for this. thank you for being there for me through everything, and my lowest during o’s when i started to freak out really badly. we have so many inside jokes, and i feel like a bitch whenever we roast people hahah. please dont ever doubt yourself, if you need someone to talk to im always here. thank you for your constant reassurance, and i hope you can do well💛

@taehobbie

isti! its really crazy how we really get along with each other uwu everytime i see you i want to burst into big fat ugly tears!!! even though we’re both busy i hope we can meet more often and eventually go for bangtan’s concert tgt yeet i love u sm nasti pls stay healthy and happy<33333

@chaeyolks

jupiter! im so glad we met uwu i really enjoy your company and i really cherish the times we spend together! thank you for being there for me when i needed you and no amount of words can express how grateful i am for you. i love you!!!

everyong:

  @pinksausageduo @w1talks @daehwifi @jsioos @dong-hyucks@deepdickdaniel  @woojiniee @longquos@fromwannaone @whatabrightplace @hwangminn@starrywinters @mongniel @ycungmin @ennergetics @wanna-17 @danieverie @xiupch @hwinkinghwi 

i would like to thank each and everyone of you for constantly making my day with your conversations and being a big supportive family! i love you guys aaa

blogs in bold are blogs i really like, blogs in both bold and itallics are mutuals i hold dearly to!

@jihoonation @wannamoon @xiupch @callmeguks @emperorhwangs @sihyunarchive @jsmmn2002 @ongnable @caisxukun @livingthejeojanglife @cannedapricot @samoyeddaniel @day6euphoria @7aiguanlin @woojiniee @starrywinters @yooneroos @taehobbie @fatenumberfor @wannabl @fluffykth @donghyxns @whatabrightplace @baejinsgirl @mongniel @bbyhyucks @porkjeojang @jihoonslattee @hwinkinghwi @hwangminn @daehwifi @w1talks @dong-hyucks @deepdickdaniel @ennergetics @idaehwi @cheonjaem @wannawrite @bambyeol @wannatales @seung-mins @wannabeone @longquos @danieverie @alliwannado-w1 @pinksausageduo @chaeyolks @fromwannaone @honeytaeyong @aesjae @jjeehoon @thirsty-for-jae @neotechs @nimearv @andreawxng @winwiniswinning @imagineproduce101 @gugulin @seong-wu @wanna1-texts @thenctcults @hey-uta @textingnct @teeyongs @183cmjaemin @hunbomb @babyjungwoo @1aechan @jecngin @chipsandwaffles @koreankollection @sammymunchiecheerios @stormae @suhsexual @gwikimchi @choco-seventeen @squishteen @seventeen-scenarios-blog @warmau @puppetwritings @strayboys @jeongout-sk

if i left anyone out, im so sorry! just drop me a dm and i’ll add your name right away.

it has been a year with me as a writer on tumblr, i would also like to thank my lovely followers and anons! im happy that you guys would actually spend time to read my cringe fics;-; thank you guys so much. 

#wow that took me hella long lmao #thank you guys for supporting my crapfictions #onlyjihoon's first follow forever #zechu rants

[kris-side]

okay so 

im putting this under a readmore just cause its kinda long and I wanna try and not clog the dash or whatever

you can read though all this mess if you want, i’d probably be happy if you did, but you dont gotta. its just me rambling a lot trying to talk about stuff and being sad. I just kinda. wanna get stuff off my chest? And maybe you can give me advice, maybe you cant, this is mostly just for me. “well why are you posting it then” well maybe its cause a little reassurance now and then doesnt fucking hurt lmfao. i know none of you would probably say that its more me @ myself

you know that whole 'not feeling trans enough' really is a big fuckin mood sometimes like

I try not too. Think too much or too hard about it. Like. Okay sure. I have a few friends that call me Chris, I even have one of my teachers calling me that! He's chill and good.

Im he/him online but offline is 90% out of the question, Im still Kristin to almost everyone. Im starting to only introduce myself as Chris though. I think thats a good name that I can and will stick with.

And its like I may not be a girly girl but I feel. Too much of a girl to tell people im he/him you know.

I dont post many pictures of myself but i've got long hair, a girly face (i think?), a big chest (that ones super ugh). Im not really. Dysphoric to the point where I super duper hate my body and cannot live with it, but i've never liked my chest, at all. (And I think gender wise or not I’ve just kinda always disliked my body, since. Im not athletic, I feel fat and like im only getting worse which i probably am) What I wouldnt give to be flat again. What I wouldnt give for people at my highschool to never make comments about my big chest ever again- my fucking. One of my friends (granted he's really stupid) used to call me 'moon balloons' and do you have any idea how upsetting that was? I just. But i tried to laugh it all, oh its just a joke. Another friend used to always comment on my chest and how he wanted to motorboat me, and so did the first friend mentioned. I think they probably both liked me but i was just. Ugh. I hated it so much but did they stop? No. They treated me like my chest was all I was, I feel like a lot of people thought of me and saw me like that too. I have no doubt. 

And like I feel like I havent had the right experiences, but thinking about it, when I was in middle school I used to tell people 'im a boy trapped in a girls body' and I dont know anything clearer than that. I didnt even know what being trans was at the time you know, i didnt have much internet access or exposure to things like that. I started thinking about it more in highschool but I was always too afraid.

Ocrober of 2016 I told my mom was trans, by accident. You'd probably think 'by accident? How?' Well, it was like. Me and my mom had to buy me something nice for the NHS orientation, being a senior, I had to read some stuff. I introduced all the incoming members. So we did that, and she was just. Stressing me out. I joked about wearing a guy’s outfit. Dont think my mom liked that. I found something that I actually kinda liked, something I would wear, but she didnt want me to wear it. Why??? Idfk. Maybe its cause it was grey but nothings wrong with grey? She wanted me to wear more colorful, frilly things. Things I didnt wanna wear. I liked what I had cause it had kind of a tutleneck thing going on and had long sleeves, and i was always self conscious of my hairy arms. Or just my arms in general, idk, but. She started getting mad at me and I started getting upset to the point I was crying and then in the changing room I blurted out that I was trans. Afterwards I tried to roll with it and explain to her, but I started feeling less sure as I went on. I wasnt sure this was the right decision at all. 

It hasnt been brought up since. I think maybe she forgot about it, or she thinks I’ve grown out of it or something. And i dont think my step-dad would support it, I dont think the rest of my family would, though. Im not sure how much I Really care about the rest of my families opinions (most of them are pretty shitty. My step-dads side is good though).

Though I mean idk. I cant know for sure unless I bring it up but I just. Cant. What if they hate me? I dont think my mom will but my step-dad? I dunno, what if he gets mad at my mom for it? What if he leaves cause of it- i cant. Deal with that kinda stress, my mom's been through 1 divorce already cause i think my dad was cheating on her, I would die if I was the reason it happened again. I think Im really afraid mostly because I’ve heard them make comments like, my dad’s side of the family on Christmas they talked about. Caitlyn Jenner, and they just. Didnt seem very happy with the idea of a man transitioning to a woman, so. Why would I be the acceptation, cause Im family? Or maybe thats just a whole different story but idk. 

I know thats probably really stupid but its how I feel. And I feel like. What if I do regret it? What if im not happy with how i turn out. I dunno. I dont really wanna have kids of my own, adopting always sounded more appealing, but i just. Dont know? I dont know. And I mean thats life but I just

i dunno

#Chris rambles #long #just #stuff i've thought about for a while #especially since coming to college

[sxix]

hey wanna read a fucked up thing about quentin tarantino

first off i don’t care how many people see this post i’m mainly putting it here both to ease my mind bc it stresses me out and also bc sometimes i mention this to people and then they want the full story but i don’t feel like typing it out again

i really don’t know how to introduce this bc it’s gonna sound like a bizarre complex lie and i promise it’s not but this is about how elf (u know the 2003 christmas movie starring will ferrell as buddy the elf and zooey deschanel as a department store elf) was originally directed by quentin tarantino and not jon favreau despite what the movie credits/all of the search results in all of google say

this is an extremely long post because i didn’t want to forget any major details and i’m gonna put a read more here so i don’t clog anyone’s dash read it if u feel like it

to answer the question you probably already have, no i do not have a link to this article or any articles like it you will learn why later but unfortunately if u wanna know what the fuck went down during the filming of elf u have to read through this mess im sorry

so in about 2011/2012 (i was about 13/14 at the time) i was researching behind the scenes production stuff and for whatever reason started focusing on the production of elf and ended up finding an article about how quentin tarantino was the original director of elf and jon favreau was part of the cast (the doctor buddy goes to see w his dad) and generally available on set for advice/assistance bc he had more experience with family friendly comedy and stuff and elf was basically quentin tarantino’s first attempt at branching out into different genres (spoiler alert: it did not go well)

before you ask your second question yes i tried to check and see if the site was satire i know satire sites when i see them but on this site the rest of the articles were perfectly normal and about stuff that had actually happened and most of it i had already seen on more popular news/entertainment sites + i also could not find any disclaimer on the site and usually satire sites will provide a legal disclaimer stating that they are in fact satire

the author did not provide their name or exact occupation (you will understand later) and only claimed to have been part of the production team on elf from the beginning to end of filming so they were present for most of the events that happened during principal photography (aka filming)

according to the source quentin tarantino originally came into the film just trying to diversify his work because pretty much all of it was within the realm of crime thrillers and black comedy (also contained a lot of violence and other not family friendly things)

during pre-production and the very beginning of filming he had to get adjusted to the different atmosphere and was overall pretty optimistic about the decision but as time went on he became progressively less confident and comfortable with his involvement in the movie, basically he felt like it was too much of a change and was never able to become fully comfortable with the new style which was seriously impacting his ability to work on the movie so jon favreau ended up having to completely take over at times because quentin would just show up in a horrible mood and have terrible days of necessarily having meltdowns but pretty much everyone could tell he was really not enjoying directing elf

idk the full details because i am writing this just from my memory of what i read and this part of the original article also didn’t contain too much detail but basically what ended up happening is quentin continued losing interest in being part of elf and a good portion of the way through filming (i think they said it was somewhere around 50-65% however at this point jon did have to step in more often than not) quentin basically gave up and worked out a plan to get his name removed from all of the movie’s records

quentin didn’t receive any of the profits he would’ve made from the film and instead divided his earnings primarily between jon and other higher-ups within in the production but also various less significant members of the production team to help out with salaries as well as a few other things

another part of this deal was that anyone who had been on the production team at any point was allowed to talk about quentin’s involvement, especially to the press because it would defeat the purpose of going through all the trouble to get rid of evidence that he was involved in the film. this is also most likely why whoever wrote this article did not provide their name or exact occupation, however they weren’t really legally bound to that agreement because quentin did not want contracts made or signed to ensure compliance w/the no outside communication rule, he felt like having tons of contracts describing the full situation floating around were bound to end up in the wrong hands at some point  

since jon had basically taken over directing at that point he was just promoted to being the director of the film instead and the movie’s records were changed to credit jon as the director throughout all phases of the movie

they weren’t so concerned with with people from the general public who noticed the change in direction because a) members of the general public weren’t usually on set and if they were it was definitely not so they could directly interact with the crew b) at the end of the day it was their word against the official credits of the movie so if someone said they thought quentin was the director it could be attributed to an honest mistake/confusion with his other work***

***this is something the article only briefly mentioned since it was just from the perspective of a member of elf’s production team but i think it’s important to note that kill bill (all filmed together but released as vol1 and vol2) was going through its phases of production and release around the same time as elf

this is important because it’s highly possible quentin felt he was working on too many projects at once or simply decided kill bill was the priority and he didn’t have time for more extraneous work he didn’t enjoy

in my opinion i think kill bill was likely a bigger factor in his decision to leave elf than the elf article’s author let on but they did make it very clear that quentin had agreed/decided to direct elf with the intention to see it through to the end and did not make the final decision to leave the film until after it had obviously become more of a burden than anything 

i also think his reasoning for erasing his name from the elf wasn’t just general dislike of the movie but rather not wanting it to get mixed up in his other projects that he was known for and actually confident in/proud of especially considering the release dates for elf and kill bill vol. 1 were just under a month apart

now to explain my lack of source: in the article it does state that quentin did not want his involvement to be available even through news publications and anything that was posted either then or later should be removed as soon as it was found

i have scoured every corner of the internet i can think of several times in attempts to find this article again. i don’t remember the name of the website but even if i did i doubt it would help because i’ve done every different keyword search i can think of and come up with absolutely nothing that even comes close to being the original article i read

my best guess is that quentin and/or one of his publicists found the article made sure it was taken down pretty as quickly as possible

i really don’t know what more i can say about this so here is basically all of the previously mentioned information but in a neater format (if u dont feel u need everything reiterated feel free to scroll all the way to the bottom for some additional info and tldr action)

- an article written by someone from elf’s production team (who did not disclose their identity or exact occupation) submitted an article (that i have not been able to relocate since originally reading it in 2011/2012) talking about quentin tarantino being the original director of elf 

- no the site was not satire/fake. since i can’t find it i’m not able to provide specific quotes or examples from the article but the person who wrote it went into much more detail about the changes to quentin’s attitude toward over time. considering satire is generally used to expose/criticize behaviors within politics and social issues, it’s just not likely for this to have been satire since quentin tarantino’s secret identity as a romantic comedy director hasn’t really been an important social issue at any point in history.

- jon favreau, the person who is now the only credited director, was available on set both as a minor cast member but primarily to help quentin out when needed with the transition from his usual style to a more family friendly world

- his purpose for directing elf in the first place was to branch out, partially to see if he even enjoyed working with such a different style but also to see how comfortable he was working with such a limited amount of involvement in comparison to his usual work (on elf he only directed but in most of his previous films he at least directed and wrote, however in some he was in charge of even more than that)

- throughout filming he became increasingly less confident and happy with his decision to direct the movie and ultimately decided to leave the film, pass the position of director off to jon favreau and use the money he would’ve earned to instead  pay people within elf’s production team both to help cover their salaries and in exchange for removing his name from any and all stored information as well as keep any mention of quentin that could be linked to elf out of the press 

- he opted not receive any money from the production or write up any contracts relating to him leaving the film because he did not want any record of his time with it to be accessible by anyone. because he did not want contracts involved, this meant that no one was legally bound to the agreement not to discuss his time as director of the film. as a result, people were able to write articles like the one i’m describing and not risk prosecution, especially if their identity was not disclosed

- jon favreau was chosen as the director because not only is he an accomplished director who has worked on several movies within the same genres as elf, since he had working on the movie since the beginning there was already documentation of his presence on set and directorial choices he made even before quentin’s departure which would make it harder for people to dispute the claim that he had directed the movie from the beginning

- kill bill was also being filmed/released around the same time as elf so i would not be surprised if quentin also did not want his name to be attached to a movie he didn’t enjoy especially when it was being released within the same month of a movie he did enjoy and feel confident in

- the article this post is about cannot be found. i have tried several times to find it because i know this is a very outlandish piece of information to just randomly have with no sources and that is why i’ve tried to explain it as much as i can from memory and summarize things more than once so i don’t leave anything too important out. 

- i am assuming that the article was found by quentin himself or a publicist of his and whenever they found it demanded for it to be taken down immediately

- i promise this was not just a really elaborate dream i had and somehow retained the details of. i haven’t really talked about this much until last summer when one of my friends was talking about pulp fiction and i remembered all of this shit that i guess i had been suppressing for whatever reason. 

- when i originally discovered the post, i only kind of understood who quentin tarantino even was/had not actually seen any of his movies so i didn’t realize how signifcant the differences were between his work and elf. while i did think the article sounded really strange/unrealistic and checked to see if it was satire (as i do with very article i read that sounds even partially made up), i wasn’t able to appreciate how surreal all of this was and didn’t care about quentin tarantino enough to share the article with anyone and now it’s gone so that’s why i now get to pass this story along through word of mouth as all stories once were

- u may be thinking “wow, this is a pretty elaborate description and analysis of an article you read maybe a couple times four or five years ago” 

- shut the fUck up i did not spend hours writing this post and making sure i remembered all of the important stuff for u to be an idiot i am older now and know more things which means i can comprehend what i remember from the article better than i could the first time i read it so fuck u

- i actually do have very good memory especially when it comes to weird shit like this and i love analyzing things let me have fun and educate u on an important scandal at the same time

- also i really don’t know why this person even came forward and wrote the article since they more than likely knew it was going to be taken down asap and didn’t gain anything from it bc they remained anonymous so ?????

basically just what the fuck

tl;dr quentin tarantino directed elf but quit because he hated it and now whenever he finds an article talking about it he makes them delete it so no one finds out he directed elf also if you tell me im lying after i spent several hours making sure i covered everything and even repeated it all to make sure if i left out an important detail the first time it got included the second time i’ll eat apple seeds until i die of cyanide poisoning 

#quentin tarantino #elf #will ferrell #p