#shawn mendes ictures

[goldendream-s]

decisions (pt. 2)

summary; shawn and you see each other after weeks and months of missed phone calls and unanswered texts, but when they finally find a time to talk, hearts only continue to get broken.

PART ONE || PART THREE

MASTERLIST || REQUEST

It had felt like a stab in the back, but you couldn’t seem to pull the knife out. Shawn had chosen his girlfriend over you, and you couldn’t deny the obvious: you felt betrayed. You so badly wanted all of this to be a nightmare and to run into the arms of your bestfriend, but you knew that was no longer an option. 

The past three days have had you consumed with trying to get a hold of Shawn, begging for him to hear you out. Your heart told you to leave him be and to hate Shawn, but you couldn’t even will a finger to do so. The six going on seven year friendship between you and Shawn was too valuable to give up without a fight, but it was hard fighting a battle single-handedly. You might’ve been mad at the moment, but as much as you hated to admit it, you couldn’t ever get yourself to fully hate Shawn.

Luckily for you, Ian, Geoff, and Matt had been over at your house trying to comfort you since the night that everything blew over. You were initially surprised how they sided with you knowing how close they were to Shawn, but you were grateful for their support nonetheless. They’d check up on you, bring you food, and gave you the company that your heart so badly needed. The three were like the older brothers you never had.

“Seriously, thank you guys so much for doing all of this,” you gestured to all of the snacks, drinks, and games they brought over to you face.

“Anytime,” Ian said while throwing an M&M at you.

Flinching, you were quick to toss one back. 

“You don’t have to thank us, bud. This is what friends are for,” Matt added.

The four of you were in your living room with you listening to the tour stories that your three friends had to share. You loved hearing of their adventures as it took your mind off of the situation in front of you.

“Holy crap, remember when we had like hundreds of fans swarming the tour bus?” Geoff recalled while asking Ian and Matt to confirm the fond memory.

“Who wouldn’t?” Ian laughed, “I can still hear all of those screams in my nightmares sometimes,” he joked as the four of you broke into a fit of laughter.

The conversation began shifting to the topic of Shawn’s band, and you knew what was coming up next.

“What if I told you that Charlie was flying out here to Toronto for a week and wanted to meet you?” Matt wiggled his eyebrows as you buried your face in the pillow sitting in your lap.

You regretted telling them about your mini celebrity crush on the popstar knowing the teasing was inevitable. 

“What if I told you that you guys were crazy and that I was just joking about you guys hooking me up with him,” you shot back. You weren’t a huge fan of Charlie, but you definitely loved the songs you heard on the radio from him.

“We might be crazy, but we aren’t kidding. He’s coming to town next week to do some interviews for his next album. Figured we’d do something to help you to get your mind off of things,” Geoff explained to you.

“Thank you guys, but I think I’m gonna have to pass. I don’t wanna embarrass myself and look stupid or anything,” You tried convincing them.

“If you ask me, you’re one of the coolest people I know,” Ian chuckled.

“C’mon, just do it. How often do you get to say that you got to hang out with Charlie Puth?” Geoff added.

“Okay, but what if I fangirl and creep him out, huh?”

“Please, you’ve been bestfriends with a world sensation for six years, if your fan girl antics haven’t freaked out Shawn, I doubt it will Charlie,” Matt said.

Ian quickly nudged Matt in the ribs knowing that the mention of Shawn made you slightly uncomfortable. You laughed at the gesture, but quickly brushed it off.

“Okay, let’s do it,” you smirked.

+

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” you asked timidly through your phone screen.

“Yes, baby, I’m positive. What has it been? Like two and a half months? I’m ready if you are,” he enthusiastically said through the other line. The facetime call did no justice when it came to showing how excited he looked.

As cliche as everything sounded and turned out, you still weren’t sure how you landed yourself in the position you were in right now. After Matt, Ian, and Geoff’s little stunt that they put together to set you and Charlie up, the two of you immediately hit it off. Of course, it wouldn’t be a date if you didn’t spend it trying to awkwardly break the ice and get to know each other, but you were glad when Charlie asked for your number and texted you about a second date three days later.

In that time, you had still been trying to get a hold of Shawn, which was no use. Don’t get it wrong, you were head over heels for Charlie and only Charlie, but your life felt empty with Shawn. You genuinely missed your bestfriend, but the feeling must’ve not been reciprocated. Half of you wanted to stay angry at Shawn but the other half wanted to run back into his arms. He might’ve done you wrong, but you wanted to think that it was all just some twisted nightmare.

“Charlie, you know I’m fine with people knowing that we’re dating, but are you sure that your album release party is the right place? The nights supposed to be about you and your music. We can always wait for another time,” you suggested.

“Darling, I’m very sure. I just want the world to know that I’m with the most gorgeous and amazing girl out there,” he chuckled.

You laughed at the name. Shawn used to always call you that.

“You’re all the way in L.A. and you still know how to make a girl blush, huh?” You half joke.

“Only for you, bub,” his laughed joined yours.

“Hey, I gotta go for an interview, but everything’s set okay? Everyone practically knows that we’re dating so it shouldn’t be much of a surprise. Bye, love. See you in 12 hours!”

You quickly said your goodbye, turning off your phone and crashing onto your bed. You still couldn’t fathom how an average girl from Toronto like you would catch someone like Charlie’s eyes, but you were grateful nonetheless. He treated you like a princess and lifted some of the sadness and betrayal that you had felt for past few months. Now here you were, about to fly out to Los Angeles to celebrate your boyfriend’s album drop.

Without a doubt, you knew Shawn would be there, but you were learning not to care. If he didn’t want anything to do with you, you figured it was about time for you to do the same.

+

“You must be Charlie’s girl! He has told me so many good things about you!” The man that looked a year or two older than Charlie said to you.

You couldn’t help but blush, especially since Charlie’s hands were around your waist, gripping you tightly to his side. The past thirty minutes have consisted of meeting his friends as a mix of his new songs and other chart toppers blasted through his condo. It was a little smaller compared to the release parties that Shawn has had for his two albums, but the low-key atmosphere eased your nerves.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you!” you greeted back, sticking your hand out but quickly receiving a hug from the guy instead.

“Hey Charlie, ‘grats on the album, man!” Another person called from the opposite side of the room.

Both of your heads turned to the call, and your boyfriend turned back to give you a knowing look, asking to go greet what must’ve been a friend.

“Babe, it’s your party. I’ll be fine on my own for a lil’ bit,” you promised while eyeing the mini bar.

“Okay… you know where to find me if you need me,” Charlie gave you a side hug before heading over to the growing group of people.

As soon as he went, you stopped to take in your surroundings – something you haven’t been able to do since arriving. The wall to your left was lined with vinyl records while the ceilings were adorned with streamers. His condo was as simple as they came, but you liked the cozy vibe it gave off.

In the middle of your little look-around, your head immediately stopped and you almost had to do a double take to make sure you weren’t hallucinating.

You’d recognize that head of soft brown curls anywhere. From the guitar tattoo to the awkward stance, you knew you weren’t seeing wrong.

Turning around it hopes that he didn’t notice your stare, you were too late. You felt footsteps near you and another warm body approach yours. Your efforts of heading to the mini bar failed as a hand clutching a shoulder stopped any further movement.

Suddenly, all of the pain, hurt, and betrayal you had pent up these past months turned into icy bitterness. Your fists clenched and your veins seemed to be pumping your blood at an incredible speed.

Taking a deep breath, you whipped your head around to be faced with none other than Shawn.

“What do you want?” you impatiently tapped your foot, hoping that Charlie would come to the rescue and save you from exploding in front of your ex-bestfriend at this party.

“Please don’t be like this. I just need to talk to you. I swear if you just give me five minutes I can explain everything to you,” he begged.

It didn’t take you time to give in. You might’ve been mad, but you wanted answers. You wanted to know why you were the second choice.

“Fine, follow me,” you didn’t turn back as you tested your memory. You’ve only been in this condo one other time, but you knew the only way the two of you could have a productive conversation would be in the quiet confines of the guest room.

Finding the room, you opened the door gesturing for Shawn to enter before closing it again.

“You have five minutes, Mendes.”

“Look, I don’t know where else to start but to say sorry,” Shawn started, “so, so, fucking sorry. I chose a girl over my bestfriend and I-I don’t know why I’d do that,” his gaze moved everywhere around the room until they met your furious eyes. 

Your intense glare almost softened for a moment until you snapped back into the reality of the situation. You could only nod your head, not satisfied with his half apology. Shawn’s anxious pacing told you he had more to say.

“I broke up with her a week after it all happened, I can’t believe I stayed with her for that long. I should’ve known that when she made me choose between the two of you that she was with me for all of the wrong reasons. Fuck, I should’ve known the moment she started talking shit about all my friends,” Shawn crashed his face into his palms.

Walking over to the window watching the busy cityscape outside, you finally opened your mouth to speak.

“So what about all of the times I tried to call you? All of the times my texts went unanswered and calls got sent straight to voicemail, huh?” You said as you thought of the hundreds of times you tried to reach Shawn before you eventually gave up on the nearly impossible task.

“Rylen blocked your number from my phone. I didn’t know you were trying to get a hold of me until Geoff and Matt told me,” He explained.

The sound of Shawn’s ex-girlfriend alone sent shivers up your back, but you stood your ground.

“Things will never be the same as they were before that, and you know that, right?” You asked all while trying to hold in your building anger.

“Of course I know it’s not! You don’t have to rub in how stupid I was for ruining our friendship. Please, let me have at least one chance to fix this. I can’t lose you,” He begged without skipping a beat.

The uneasiness of this confrontation was beginning to weigh down on your shoulders, pushing to you to go straight to the questions you’ve been wanting answers for.

“Why though, Shawn? What’d I do to be the second decision? The back-up plan?” you bitterly questioned.

“Hey, what? No! You know you’re anything but a bac-”

“Cut the bullshit, Shawn. Just tell me what I did to deserve being ditched and cut off by who I thought was my bestfriend. You left me in the dust for that girl, I’m pretty sure I’m the back-up person” Your harsh words that you were spitting startled yourself as much as it did Shawn, but you couldn’t bring yourself to regret your tone.

“Do you really wanna know?” Shawn huffed. You weren’t facing him, but you could feel the aggravation beginning to lace in his usually chirpy and bright voice.

“Well that’s why we’re here, right?”

You were so close to getting your answer, but the door swung wide open before either of you had another second to speak.

“Babe, there you are! Andrew wanted to mee- oh, uhh… I’ll let the two of you talk,” you were greeted by your searching boyfriend.

You quickly ran to the door to assure Charlie that you could handle it all by yourself, but from the already heated conversation that was lingering in the air, Charlie seemed to understand what was happening.

“Oh my go-. Shawn’s the asshole that you were talking about? He’s the one that left you for his girlfriend?” Charlie frantically realized as his fist and jaw were beginning to clench.

Surprised by how he figured out so quickly, you were quick to hush him, crossing your fingers that Shawn hadn’t heard that. “Babe, I got it. Don’t worry about it.” 

He nodded his head before telling you where to find him if you needed any help, closing the room’s door to leave.

You silently thanked the heavens for having a boyfriend as understanding as Charlie because you knew how wrong the scene looked. You and Shawn alone in a dimly lit room together, who wouldn’t have mistaken it to be something else? You shot a smile to Charlie before he closed the door, resuming the dreaded conversation between you and Shawn.

“An asshole that left my bestfriend, huh?” your head turned back to Shawn, who’d obviously heard Charlie’s words.

You were about to object, but Shawn cut you cut.

“Holy shit, I should’ve known,” you heard Shawn murmur under his breath again. Your eyebrows perked up, unaware of what Shawn was getting at.

“You’re dating him, aren’t you?” he quickly searched for your eyes before turning his back away from you.

You reached for Shawn’s shoulder to turn him around, but it looked like he had other plans. As he made his way to the door, you knew exactly what he was trying to do.

“Shawn, where are you going? I thought we were gonna talk this out?” you frantically questioned.

“I-I’m sorry, I have to go,” Shawn replied without even looking back once again. Before you had any time to react to his sudden flea, Shawn was already making his way through the door. You called for his name, but you knew he wasn’t going to turn back. Now here you were again, alone and full of questions.

If there was one thing that Shawn was good at, it was leaving you.

+

Shawn didn’t want to admit it, but he knew that he was slowly losing you like sand slipping through his fingers. Yet despite all of his regret, Shawn knew that he had messed up big time, and he was getting what he deserved. The feeling in the pit of his stomach only got worsened by the fact that Shawn knew he hadn’t made any efforts to talk to you besides making a few phone calls that you never answered. After the night of Charlie’s party, he knew he’d probably ruin any shot of getting your forgiveness.

It seemed like the seconds turned into hours as hours turned into days without seeing you. Shawn was finally getting time off from tour, but he was instead spending his break wondering how to get you to forgive him.

He lost his bestfriend because he chose some girl over you, and he didn’t know how to fix his mistakes. Shawn didn’t know how to explain it any other way but to say that he lost his other half. You had always been there for him, and he had let you down.

Everything surrounding him reminded you of him. From the pool in his backyard that the two of you would always swim in during the summers to the sheets on the bed that you helped him pick, he couldn’t escape your presence. Music, which would always be Shawn’s way of escaping his troubles was something he had to avoid, too. His favorite guitar hanging from his wall along with six other acoustics was gifted from you on his 17th birthday, and he would be lying if most of his songs were secretly about you.

No matter how much he didn’t want to acknowledge it, you would always find a way to creep back into his thoughts and actions. The butterflies in his stomach when a friend would ask about you and the way his heart would beat faster by the simple mention of your name drove him crazy. He missed your touch, he missed the friendship the two of you shared, and he missed having you be one call away.

“Come in,” Shawn tried to shout through his door as a knock sounded through his room.

“When are you gonna get out of your room? We haven’t had your bestie come over in a while so can we ask her to come over for dinner? I miss her,” Aaliyah asked while walking closer to his bed, finally seeing Shawn in the state he was in.

“That makes the two of us,” he barely whispered under his breath, burying his head into his plush pillows.

“Holy crap, what happened?” Aaliyah hurried to pull Shawn into a hug as he finally let go of the tears he’s been trying to hold in since you walked through the door the other night.

“I-I messed up,” Shawn shakily answered, trying to stead his breathing. 

Shawn wasn’t one to cry so easily, but he couldn’t stop the constant wave of tears streaming down his face. He didn’t even try to hide is regret and cries from his younger sister who was trying to piece together everything that was unraveling before her eyes.

“What do you mean?” Aaliyah tried her best to stay calm for the sake of her brother, but the underlying feeling in her bones and stomach told her you wouldn’t be coming over anytime soon. 

“I-I think I love her,” Shawn mustered to say through his emotional state.

Aaliyah was now beyond confused. Why would he be crying over the fact that he loved someone? She knew Shawn had gotten a girlfriend recently, but it wasn’t something she worried too much about.

“Isn’t that a good thing? Her name was Rylen, right?” 

Aaliyah tried moving the conversation along, “Shawn, I know as little about love as you do, but aren’t you supposed to be happy? I mean, I dunno, but those don’t look like tears of joy to me,” she tried her best to make her older brother smile, but it was no use.

In fact, instead of bringing bringing a smile to Shawn’s face, her comments only seemed to make his sobs louder and stronger.

“N-No, I think I love my bestfriend.”

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