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komahinasecretexchange · 4 years

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Title: Feelings To Write About

Author: @magioftheseas

For: @spaghetti4u

Pairings/Characters: KomaHina + mentioned KamuKoma

Rating/Warnings: G

Prompt: “Hinata or someone else trying to encourage Komaeda into doing something funny to spend the time (going to the beach, playing some game or anything really!)” + “Sharing a bed”

Author’s notes: It’s a pretty lowkey fic, and I ended up having them talk about the WoH because I have fluffy feelings when it comes to them. Cakeland is obviously based off Candyland which I have a lot of nostalgia for. I hope it’s cutesy enough for you!

The weather on Jabberwock wasn’t the perfect, eternal sunshine it had been in the simulation. There were storms and quite harsh ones at that. Hence why when him and Komaeda got caught up in one, he brought Komaeda with him to the hotel for studier shelter rather than just relying on one of their cottages. It was one of those weeks where the others were out trying to fix other parts of the world or meeting with the other sections of the Future Foundation, so the hotel was as vast as it was vacant. Hinata doesn’t try to think about how this scenario is like a million haunted movies and games—he especially doesn’t want to think about games—and instead, he focuses on drying Komaeda’s hair off with several towels.

Komaeda is docile when being fussed over, but he’s still shaking like a leaf. Hinata wraps him in some blankets for good measure, trying to keep a straight face when Komaeda sneezes.

“If we get enough blankets and pillows, this won’t be too bad a place to sleep for the night,” he says, tearing open a tissue packet pulled from Komaeda’s pocket for the other to blow his nose on. Hinata does flash him a smile, playing idly with the wet but still springy curls on his boyfriend’s head. “Do you need anything else to make yourself comfortable?”

“Mm.” A noncommittal hum and a meek shrug. Komaeda’s been in a low mood all day and the storm hadn’t seemed to help measures. Hinata tries to retain a reassuring smile as he tucks silvery strands behind the other’s ear. “It doesn’t really matter.”

I wouldn’t ask if that were true. Hinata bites his tongue. You know I would’ve just decided what to do without you. You probably wouldn’t even care in this state.

“There might be board games,” he found himself saying. “How about we play something to pass the time? You like Go, right?”

Komaeda shrugs again, as if he didn’t carry around go jars all throughout high school and even had them stored in his cottage at that exact moment. Hinata can only sigh and go along with Komaeda’s unstated hesitance.

“Maybe something new,” he said as we went to the closet where the board games were stored. “Variety is the spice of life.”

Komaeda sneezes behind him and makes no further comments. Fine. That’s fine. Hinata should just focus on deciding—or just grab the first thing that catches his eye and settle with that. Which is what he does. Either the dormant Kamukura Izuru’s kicking him in the mental balls right now or Komaeda’s momentary apathy is contagious.

He could figure out which if he thought about it. He elects not to think as to conserve energy. This is how he lives his life now.

Although the board game he grabbed is—not really to his or to Komaeda’s tastes. He still commits and takes it with him before setting it in front of Komaeda. Komaeda does look at the cover, his mouth twitching.

“Cakeland,” Hinata read aloud. “For ages 4 and up. If I didn’t know any better I’d say this is Usami’s doing.”

“Oh, I’ve seen it before,” Komaeda said, soft and low. “Utsugi-san was fond of it. She always forced me to be Donatsuo. She hated that character most.”

Even without a genius brain, Hinata can tell who that is. The donuts-themed boy with short choppy hair and absurdly large, caramel-colored eyes.

“This was Utsugi-san’s character of choice,” Komaeda recalled, tapping his finger against a happy girl in pink. “Ichigo-hime.”

“So,” Hinata said, trying to keep his tone neutral. “Was this game any good?”

“It’s not very complicated because it’s for kids, ages four and up,” was Komaeda’s dull response.

“We’re not kids but we’re older than four, so we should be fine.”

With all that said, it looked like they were playing Cakeland. Hinata sets up the board—which is even kitschier in design than the box and he picks the character that looked the most normal-ish save for a strange hairstyle—identified by Komaeda as the Baron Maron. Komaeda does look between them and muffle a small snort, and Hinata doesn’t care to ask.

Komaeda picks Donatsuo, although he very lovingly places other pieces aside. Ichigo-hime and a few others who mysteriously had similar color schemes to those troubled kids he babysat all that time ago. As Servant. In Towa. After Enoshima Junko died but they were still all in despair.

That he can even have fond memories at all—

Hinata feels his throat burn with questions, but swallows back and just rolls the dice.

“We’re just both going to get six,” Komaeda said. “What to do?”

Hinata doesn’t say that he could probably get any roll he so wanted, so he just grumbles.

“I’ll go first because it’s in my name. Sound enough logic?”

Komaeda giggled warmly. It strikes a soft chord within him, and his heart may or may not do a flip in appreciation of such a sound.

“Whatever,” Hinata says, drawing a card. “What’s important are these, anyway. Wow, I drew you.” He does flash the card, showcasing Donatsuo with a dorky grin and dual peace signs. “Guess that means I go to your character space. It’s the first one on the map though so it’s not that far ahead.”

“It’s good luck to get that at the beginning of the game but bad luck to get that at the end,” Komaeda said, drawing his own card. He just gets a plain color so he only moves ahead four spaces. “Since your luck is better than mine, I wonder if this is even a fair game…”

“Your luck is still formidable,” Hinata pointed out as he drew. It was green. That was five spaces. “I’d say it breaks to about even.”

“Oh, no,” Komaeda breathed, shaking his head. “No, that’s wrong. Comparing my luck to yours is like comparing a gnat to a swan because both can fly.”

“It’s not…” Hinata sputtered a bit, unsure of what the hell to make of that. “What does that even mean? Komaeda, your—your luck’s on a whole other level. You should know that more than anyone.”

Komaeda just draws. He still hasn’t selected a special card. Hinata ends up drawing the next one, a strange angelic figure named Enjunji, who he just didn’t get good vibes from.

“Kemuri-kun’s favorite,” Komaeda said quietly and Hinata moved further ahead. It was the closest character space in reality, so it still wasn’t impressive.

I have a feeling I know how this is gonna go.

Still, they kept playing.

“You’re still like that, huh,” Hinata mused quietly. “You’re still—really harsh on yourself. That hasn’t changed, but I suppose other things have.”

“Other things?” Komaeda echoed before laughing. “Like what, per say?”

“You’re not as reckless as you used to be,” was the immediate answer. Another draw. Another several steps ahead. Komaeda’s piece was struggling to keep up. “You’re much calmer. You don’t talk about hope and talent all the time.”

“Because,” Komaeda said. “Hope’s Peak—the encapsulation of all of that—was in reality a breeding ground for despair. It was poisoned to the core and I was just too blind to notice.”

We all were, myself especially, Hinata thought, reaching up to touch his temple. He knew Komaeda noticed, but his eyes screwed shut so that he wouldn’t have to see whatever warp Komaeda’s face. I wasn’t just blind, I was so, so fucking stupid.

“You agreed to be with me,” he forced out so that he wouldn’t have to keep thinking about his own failures. “Your old self never would’ve let yourself have any real sense of happiness. At least not something you’d have to maintain, like a relationship.”

Komaeda chuckled. “You mean you would’ve let me reject you?”

“You did reject me,” Hinata reminded him dryly. “Several times. And then you demanded Tsumiki make sure I didn’t have brain damage.”

“Oh, did I?” Komaeda tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Well, I still find your attachment to me nonsensical, especially when I more or less stated I wanted nothing to do with you in the past. But—I suppose you knew that was a lie, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, you’re a liar.” Hinata cracked a smile. “At least when it comes to your feelings. You’re sincere most of the time.”

“The proper word is stupid,” Komaeda said, moving his piece a single space with a nudge from a metallic finger. “I’m stupid.”

“You’re not stupid. Don’t say that. You shouldn’t even think it.”

Hinata’s tone was as serious as it was grim. Komaeda’s self-effacing expression twitched, but he simply ducked his head reservedly.

“It’s in moments like this where you most resemble Kamukura-kun,” he murmured, fringe falling before his eyes and obscuring his gaze. “He’d speak up like this in the past despite being so quiet most of the time.”

Hinata felt a stirring in the back of his head. He held his breath until it went away and all that was left was the pounding in his ears. Even with that, he still knew.

“He cared about you.”

Kamukura doesn’t let him see into those memories often, although he still sometimes imagined it—maybe even dreamed it. Komaeda Nagito, eyes murky with despair and shoulders trembling under the weight of it, smiling up at him.

“He didn’t think to acknowledge it, much less accept it,” he went on, rubbing his digits into his scalp and catching skin flakes and rain droplets under his nails. “I was the same way in the simulation.”

“You both had strong reasoning to be that way, my inherent worthlessness none withstanding.” Komaeda laughed. “I wasn’t exactly in my best frame of mind at either time, although that’s not saying much.”

“Nor was I,” Hinata retorted. “I even denied part of my identity. I was—pathetic. You were right about that.”

Komaeda is quiet, lips twisting. His shoulders shake briefly under a certain kind of weight. Hinata draws his next card, and it’s another character, a studious blue one named Chouchoux.

“You were an ass about it,” he said. “Like, an absolute ass. But, hey, definitely not the worst thing about you at the time. By the way, this one was used for Shingetsu Nagisa, wasn’t it?”

Komaeda nodded, fiddling with his mechanical hand and making a loud series of whirly noises. He drew his card as well. Another plain one, with his piece moving only two spaces ahead.

Hinata draws and it’s a card of a boy in stripes and red, looking fierce and fiery. Torayaki—obviously the favored character of one Daimon Masaru.

“Do you miss them?” he found himself asking. “If so, we can contact Towa City and ask Naegi’s sister how they’re doing. They might even be curious about you.”

“I doubt it,” Komaeda laughed mirthlessly. “And it’s fine. As long as they’re doing well.”

“I don’t think they hated you,” Hinata said. “You took care of them after all.”

“I was a wretched despair.” Komaeda shook his head. “And they were perfectly self-sufficient. I doubt they even think of me anymore—and rightfully so. I only approached them in the first place out of curiosity, not because I saw children who needed protection and guidance.”

“They would’ve killed you if you had,” Hinata can’t help but remind him. “Probably would’ve found that sentiment insulting with all that they’ve been through. They were children and angry ones at that. I don’t blame them, of course…” He trails off. “I don’t think it’d be bad to send a letter now that things have calmed down a little.”

Not to mention—you lit up when talking about them. You’ve been listless lately, and I know. I get it. There’s no particular reason for it, that’s just how depression works sometimes. I still missed your smile, Nagito.

“Just a letter shouldn’t be too bad,” he insisted. “You’ve been practicing your calligraphy with that hand after all.”

The hand in question flexes. No joints pop, it’s just more whirls. Komaeda does smile, but it’s one that is curled up on his face, like a body trying to keep itself warm in the cold.

Hinata draws Ichigo-hime next. At this rate, Komaeda has no chance of winning. But the funny thing about a game like this was that luck of the draw could flip things so easily. There was one last character space, furthest ahead and closest to the end.

“Maybe,” Komaeda says and—as expected, he draws the card.

It’s a young woman dressed in green named Monaka-jou-sama.

Komaeda wins the games just a few turns later.

Outside, it was still storming.

“It’s pretty late, so let’s get ready for bed, Nagito.”

“Okay.”

Hinata goes to find futons while Komaeda puts away the board game. Hinata sets up a couple of makeshift beds and he presses them together. He does pause afterward, wondering if this was right. He heard Komaeda shuffling about, the whirling of his arm, and then, he felt Komaeda sliding the board game back onto the shelf. Thunder rumbles, the trees are being rustled by the wind, and Komaeda lets out a soft whew.

Hinata is still up until the moment he hears the padding of Komaeda’s soft footsteps, and he only truly relaxes when Komaeda’s slim arms encircle his waist, with Komaeda pressing his face into Hinata’s back. He pets Komaeda’s hair with a lop-sided smile, and Komaeda’s cheeks puff.

“You don’t just remember the simulation, right,” he murmured. “You have Kamukura-kun’s memories, too.”

“Technically,” Hinata replied. “Kamukura Izuru has to share them with me first. Sometimes he does. Sometimes he doesn’t.”

Komaeda huffed.

“It’s so complicated, keeping you two separate yet also together. Sometimes I wonder who I’m with.”

I wonder that, too. But what matters is…

“Regardless of who I am, I still love you.” He pats Komaeda’s head. “That much is and always will be clear.”

“Regardless of who you are, I love you, too,” is mumbled into his back.

It’s so soft a sound that Hinata wouldn’t have even heard him if not for the vibrations, but that’s fine. It’s not like he’s ignorant to Komaeda’s feelings. Not anymore.

He ushers Komaeda under the blankets, Komaeda still clinging to his wrist all the while. Chuckling softly, Hinata slips in after him and squeezes Komaeda’s hand. He rubs his thumb against the other’s pulse, only pausing because Komaeda grips him with the mechanical hand. His grip only tightens when Hinata kisses his forehead and then down his face.

“When the storm passes,” Hinata says, nuzzling along Komaeda’s jawline and pressing another kiss to his cheek where ensuing the blush tinted it pink. “We should send out letters.”

Komaeda ducks his head, but he still accepts the affection that he’s showered with.

“We should also walk along the beach, maybe,” Hinata teases. “See what gets washed up. It might be treasure.”

“You’re a treasure,” Komaeda retorted, flustered. Shoving Hinata’s hands off and his face away, he buried his face into Hinata’s chest, hiding it from further embarrassment. “You’re the worst thing to have ever washed up on that beach.”

Hinata hummed, stroking his hair.

I didn’t technically wash up, but…

“And yet you stayed behind for me.” Hinata hides his smile in those wild white curls. “You’re still here right now.”

Komaeda grumbled but gave no further response. That was fine. Perfectly fine.

Stay with me, alright? Please keep staying with me. He decided against asking that for now for now. Opting instead for, “Sweet dreams, Nagito. I love you.”

#komahina #kamukoma #fanfiction #komahina secret exchange

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florxdexcerezos · 3 years

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ask games from post/634353049340674048 : 1, 8, 12, 13, 28, 29, 40, 42, 43, 45

@professional-beach-bum

1. Who’s the one who’s reckless and always getting into trouble while the other gotta pull em out

Oh, it’s 100% Dom! Ofc Mal’s reckless to an extent, but she talks herself out of the trouble she causes and doesn’t usually see any consequences. Dominic however, gets his ass kicked and ends up in the hospital for about 6 weeks because diplomacy is not his strong suit. Taking Maly along with him anywhere is a solid improvement especially if she’s the one who’s talking.

8. How does one comfort the other when the other is in distress/having a panic attack/crying

Dom’s emotional moments, shall we say, are far, few and in between. But when they do occur, Maly reminds him that she is there and available to give him comfort if he wants that from her. She creates a safe space for them to talk in the privacy of their home. Often, she will end up sitting on his lap and hugging him in a warm little cocoon. There’ll be music in the background to help calm him down. They don’t have to talk about it, but Maly tells him that it might help him if he does. She doesn’t let him sit in his feelings for too long though, afraid he might float away from her, so she tries to make jokes to lighten his mood a bit.

Maly’s anxiety rears its head often. Dom’s best chance to stop it where it stands and ground her. Place his hands on her shoulders, or her arms and reassure her, or remind her that they’re okay, they’re safe, whatever it is that she is worried about. It may not soothe her immediately, but it will have an effect on her. When she is upset, he brings her in tightly for a hug, giving her that warmth and comfort to feel at ease in. It’s privacy and intimacy at the same time. Sometimes talking it out will fix the situation, but often, it will be the physical contact. Soft, reassuring touches to her lower back, brushing her hair, acts of protecting her like hugging her and cradling her to him. Something to remind her she is at home.

12. What do their dates look like

Cute! They’re normally pretty chill, even when they go out or stay in, very relaxed. Dates are their time together to be in each other’s company and be affectionate - even though they’re not super affectionate in public. Something might happen in an alleyway but certainly not in Santa Monica. They have spa dates once a fortnight and they do face masks, Dom does Maly’s nails and hair as best as he can. Maly will feed him pizza while it happens.

13. How does each act when getting drunk

Maly is basically useless. She gets giggly, clumsy, she has no balance and falls face first into walls. She can just about speak, but you’d be lucky if it was English, it’s normally Spanish or Polish. Dom’s had to learn a bit of Polish to try and keep up. She either wants to keep drinking or wants to eat candy/nutella/sugar.

Dom getting drunk is a rare thing. But he goes through stages, the first stage is the most uncomfortable. Emotional vulnerability is not something he can quite easily handle. He gets deep in his thoughts and they’re often sad, and about his past. The subsequent stages depend on a variety of factors but range from happy tipsy to making out with Maly in public without regard for anyone who might see them. Even when tipsy, he still retains a good portion of his control and has a high chance of successfully convincing someone he’s sober, but the more he drinks, the more giggly and loud he gets. A truly beautiful sight.

28. Are either of them mentally ill, if so how do they help one another cope

Both of them are neurodivergent. PTSD, depression, anxiety, all-consuming guilt, probably a few others. They’ve established routines for when this sort of thing happens. How to spot it, how to calm it down. A big part of the coping process is open communication, letting the other person into their head if only so they can temporarily shoo away what is troubling them.

Dom definitely needs therapy, though.

29. Does one have a spot on them where they would melt when the other kisses them there

Maly’s soft spot is on her neck, right where it meets her clavicle. It’s a perfect little spot that a bite there will cause a moan.

I don’t know if Dom has one of those spots, he melts when Maly kisses him pretty much anywhere.

40. Who would fight in honor for the other if someone would insult them

Dom! Though Maly will only take offence to things she believes she’s not, and would most likely go fight them herself.

Maly does get awfully defensive of Dom, but she’s never been angry enough to fight someone yet.

42. How would one react if the other was to die

I think the feelings would be similar even if they did not show it in the same way. There would be intense pain in their chest, to the point they can almost feel their heart physically breaking. They would feel as though they lost a part of themselves that made them whole. Everything would become grey and bleak, there would be no sunshine, no moon or the stars. The grief would be overwhelming and nothing would bring them joy. Things that reminded them of their other half would be cast out. Life would not be worth living anymore, even with encouragement from the one who passed.

Maly would get destructive in her despair. Throw chairs, flip tables, nothing would be safe from a girl who lost the person who gave her life, breathed love into her lungs. She would be distraught that she couldn’t try to save him, and would consider taking her own life before the heartbreak killed her first.

Dom might revert back to who he was without Maly’s influence. Cold, cruel, psychopathic. He had no reason to love a world that stole his forever from him, stole the wind beneath his wings, the light of the moon above his shoulders. His body would torture him, make every breath painful, each step would be heavy, smashing on the ground beneath it. With little to love, and nothing to keep him reigned in, who knew what destruction he could cause?

43. Who dies first

Maly. Live fast, die young.

45. How would they spend their last moments together

If they were dying together, the dream would be that they were on a beach, watching the sunset. No one around them, just the ocean and the seagulls. They would kiss for the last time before going into the ocean and letting the waves bring them away from the shore. Holding hands, and looking up at the beautiful sky, they would spend their final moments together and at peace.

#otp: maly & dom #suicide mention tw #violence tw #mental illness mention tw #ask: anonymous #ask: answered

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5hfanfiction · 6 years

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Camren: At First Sight (Chapter 2)

Trigger Warning: reference to alcoholism and self-harm

When my clock beeped 8:00 AM, I ignored a pang of homesickness and raised myself onto my elbow, looking around the cabin.

From the corner window, a small ray of light filtered through the blinds and landed on Lauren’s cheek. I smiled to myself when she rubbed her face sleepily, as though to brush it onto the floor.

Ugh. Get it together. With a sigh, I climbed to my feet and stretched my arms above my head.

Normani moaned. “Turn it off.”

“What off?” I replied, bewildered, having already silenced the alarm clock.

“The light,” she whined. “What time is it, anyway?”

Ally threw a pillow at her head. “Shhhhhh.” But she missed, of course, and only succeeded in knocking Dinah’s water bottle off her nightstand.

“The fuck.”

I couldn’t contain my giggles at that, and Lauren, who had stretched her feet to the floor, caught my gaze. Her laughter sent a flash of warmth through my body even as I shivered in the cold air.

“Are you two about done?” Normani complained.

I bit back my smile. “You can sleep if you want, but we’re due at breakfast in 45.”

Her eyes flew open. “Dibs on first shower!”

“Hell no,” Lauren replied, grabbing for her soap. “I’m going first.”

“You sure about that, Lauren?” I smirked.

Dinah slammed the bathroom door shut, clicking the lock into place. We could hear her laughter even over the roar of the water.

“How the hell did she—ugh, you could have warned me, Camz.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Camz. I smiled. It was going to be a good day.

It was not a good day.

As I stared into my bowl of spaghetti, Dinah patted my arm. “Don’t take it so hard. It’s practically her job.”

Our dancing coach was relentless. An hour into the practice, I lost count of how many times she shouted, “Again, Camila! With spunk!” By now, all the contestants knew my name.

“I’m a singer, not a dancer,” I grumbled.

Normani blurted, “But if you’re going to perform—ow!”

When I glanced at Lauren, she raised her eyebrows innocently. I laughed in spite of myself.

“Report to Wing C in 10 minutes,” the loudspeaker crackled, making me jump. The cafeteria fell into a brief, anxious silence before erupting into commotion.

Ally wrung her hands. “This is it, guys.”

I groaned and dropped my fork.

“Don’t worry, Mila,” Normani grinned. “No dancing.”

I rolled my eyes. “Singing for Simon and Demi isn’t any less scary.” I threw my uneaten pasta into the trash and followed Dinah into the hallway.

To my surprise, Lauren fell into step beside me. I was suddenly hyperaware of my body, my clothes, the way my shoes echoed on the tile floor. I tried to keep my cool. “You ready for this?” I asked bravely.

“Better be. We’ve certainly practiced enough.” It was true. Between our partner rehearsals, we’d all had the chance to work with vocal coaches in preparation for our first X Factor challenge.

“I mean… yeah. But where do we look when we’re singing? There’s only two of them! And we’re not even on a stage!” My nerves spilled into word vomit.

Lauren laughed. “You’d rather a full audience? Just pretend you’re performing for your mom or dad, or something. Where do you look when you sing for them?”

“Uh,” I sighed. “Well. Actually, I only sang officially for them once, and I made them turn around and face the wall.”

Lauren’s face split into a wide grin. “You’re joking.”

“Nope.”

“That’s hilarious. And adorable,” she chuckled. I willed my cheeks to stay pale. “But anyway, you are gonna have to make some eye contact.”

I grimaced. “Duh.”

“Just keep moving your eyes. Like—Demi, wall, Simon, Demi’s eyebrows, Simon’s nose—and so on.”

I giggled. “Weirdo.��

We took a seat in the hallway serving as the makeshift holding room. “Hey, you wanted advice,” Lauren smirked, crossing her legs. “At least I’ve sang to more than my parents’ backs.”

I shook my head in mock despair. “Not helping.”

“Don’t worry, Camz.” She reached over and squeezed my hand, sending my heart into overdrive. “You’ve got this.”

“Ms. Cabello?” An assistant called. “They’re ready for you.” Damn alphabetical order.

The four girls—the girls I had known for less than 48 hours, who had no reason to be nice to me, let alone cheer me on—shouted their encouragement as I walked through the door. For that, I was so unbelievably grateful.

Even as I willed my adrenaline to dissipate, I couldn’t help but analyze the performance, replaying each moment over in my head. My mattress creaked beneath my weight when I rolled onto my back and kicked my socks onto the floor. A few restless minutes passed.

“Screw it,” I finally muttered, tossing my blanket to the side. I threw a sweatshirt over my pajamas and stepped into the night air.

“Camila?”

I jumped and squinted through the dark. “Lauren?” She was sitting on the porch steps, her head resting on the side of the staircase, a notebook in her lap.

I hesitated, then walked forward, feeling my way to the stairs. “Mind if I sit?”

“Sure,” came her reply. “You couldn’t sleep either?”

“Nope. There’s just…so much.”

She turned her head to look at me, but there wasn’t enough moonlight to read her expression. “Like what?” She murmured.

I laughed self-consciously. “I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about singing for Simon and Demi. And the dancing class fiasco. And I really—well, I really miss my mom,” my voice cracked.

“Camz…come here.” She held out her arm, and I scooted into her side, burying my face in her pajama shirt. I couldn’t believe when my tears spilled over, soaking her collar. She stroked my hair, whispering soothing words, as I completely lost it.

When I finally pulled away, I felt the absence of her warmth. “I’m sorry,” I managed, blushing. I wiped my eyes quickly, horrified with myself. “I—I guess I’m just really tired.”

“No, I get it. Why do you think I’m out here?” She rubbed circles into my hand, and we sat in silence for some time, enjoying the sounds of the night.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” I whispered.

She pushed her hand through her hair, and I couldn’t help but wish she still had her arm around my own. “I—I can’t. I mean—I write it all down. So I don’t have to.”

My eyes strayed to the notebook on her lap.

“But you know,” Lauren said suddenly, climbing off the steps. “I could help you with one of your problems.”

“Oh?” She pulled me to my feet.

“The dance class. It wasn’t that you didn’t know what you were doing, you know. You just weren’t going for it. That’s why she got so mad.”

I sighed. “I guess.”

“Well, now’s your chance.”

Even though she couldn’t tell, I raised my eyebrows. “How so?”

She laughed quietly. “It’s pitch black. I can barely see a foot in front of me.”

“No way,” I grinned. “Just because there’s no one to watch…I still hate dancing.”

Before I could stop her, she grabbed my hands and spun me in a circle. “Lauren!” I half-laughed, half-whispered. “I’m going to fall!”

“Come on, Camz.” She dropped my hands. “No one’s here. Remember the first step?” I saw her outline slide to the side, raise her arms above her head.

I found myself copying her motion. “Good,” she whispered. “Don’t stop.”

We danced until the sun came over the horizon.

*BONUS scene from Demi’s perspective <3

Demi pored a glass of wine with shaking hands. She shivered as she watched the red liquid leave the bottle, already anticipating the warmth that would spread down her throat when it touched her lips.

With jerky movements, she forced herself away from the counter. She flipped the light switch off and closed her eyes. Sobs wracked her body, but even through her tears, she couldn’t stop herself from smelling the sweet wine. It filled the cabin like perfume, cloying and tempting and—

Demi knocked the glass off the counter and watched it shatter with grim satisfaction. But the liquid crept toward her, slipping across the wooden floor, as she stood, transfixed, helpless. When it lapped against her toes, she bent and dipped her finger into the red wine, lovingly, in a spooning caress… before pulling back, as though scalded, when a shard of glass pierced her skin.

She was no stranger to blood. How many times had she let it spill willingly, relished the escape from thoughts that never stopped? But this pain sharpened her senses and pulled her from the wine-soaked haze. Demi lowed the finger that had drifted toward her mouth. Get out. Now. She grabbed for the cabin door and stumbled into the night.

Deep gasps of air set Demi’s lungs on fire. It was cold, too cold. She began to walk aimlessly. Her toes had numbed by the time she heard the voices.

“Lauren, I definitely can’t do that.”

Demi’s heart thumped into overdrive, and she hastily ducked behind a tree. She squinted. Through the darkness, she could see the outlines of two girls, silhouetted against the moon.

“Hmph. Yes you can, Camila. Like this.” Demi watched as the taller outline placed her hands on the smaller girls’ hips and moved them in slow circles.

“Do you feel that?”

“Yeah. I think I get it now.”

Demi smirked to herself when the taller outline didn’t immediately remove her hands. Realizing that her own hands were nearly frozen, Demi turned and headed back the way she came. She held her breath as she stepped over the puddle of wine on her floor, plugged her nose to keep the sickly odor from rousing her temptation. Her last thoughts were of liquid warmth.

Thanks so much for reading <3 More chapters are posted on Wattpad (@paigejv). Skip directly to chapter 3.0 :)

#UPDATE #series #x factor #non AU #slash #trigger warning #camren #angst drama #humour #romance fluff #submission #At First Sight

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bearxclaws-archive-blog · 6 years

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Arc Headcanons // PRE-SKIP PT.4

It’s been two weeks since I did one of these ‘cause I was on vacation, but here we go again! Sorry for being repetitive, but there will most likely be mentions of Sanji x Anita.

DUVAL / SABAODY ARCHIPELAGO

— ARC OUTFIT

— After almost watching Sanji’s upper half disappear on Thriller Bark, it’s going to become a habit for her to touch a bit more. Not that she was why about it before because she’s just a physical person, but she’ll touch his arm, chest and anything from the neck up as a weird way of making sure he’s there. Totally brushes it off as just making sure he’s still mostly intact.

— She doesn’t know him, but Anita is worried about Ace too. She doesn’t like that his Vivre Card is burning. Still, she trusts Luffy’s judgement and doesn’t insist that he go after his brother. By the sounds of it, Ace is perfectly capable of defending himself.

— While Chopper and Usopp are relaxing and the rest of the crew is dealing with the submarine, Anita is in the kitchen pouting because she wanted to go underwater. With her Devil Fruit, she can’t. Oh, well, it’s sort of given her the chance to indulge in her stupid crush and watch Sanji work.

— Him getting decked by Keimi’s whole body when she lands on him cracks her up, though. She really needs to stop laughing at other peoples suffering. Not really sure why she does, but I feel like she just would.

— Having not been there during the Arlong Park chaos, she isn’t sure who Hachi is. Learning about it infuriates her, and so does learning that mermaids are sold.

— A thing I am realizing; when her island was taken over, her and her troupe were basically turned into slaves. They were a little cleaner and happier looking, but it was part of the act to lure pirates in. If they disobeyed, they were beaten or even put to death. They were scared of the man that had put himself in the position of master. So the entirety of this arc, Anita will likely be pissed and slightly afraid in a ‘ does he realize I’m gone and has he told other Marines so they recognize me’ way. She doesn’t want to be dragged back home yet when she can’t help. Didn’t have the smarts to think that it might happen until now. Whoops~

— Anita goes with the flow, so she doesn’t care who they’re saving as long as Luffy’s the one that ordered it. Although a large part of her wants to meet a talking octopus-man.

— Duval’s existence almost kills Anita. She will be doubled over despite being attacked with poisonous harpoons, holding her stomach and wheezing for breath.

— Because she’s stupid and obvious, I feel like the ones that know she has a crush on Sanji would be Nami, Robin and Usopp. At least one of them is going to be a shit and make a joke about her liking Duval because what’s the difference between him and Sanji? Rude as fuck, but it only makes her start laughing again.

— Flips her shit when they trap him in the water and announce they’re going to drown him. God, sometimes she hates that she has a Devil Fruit. When he does get rescued and has his dumb little nosebleed, Anita will poke him with her foot. Moron.

— Luffy and Anita have a contest to see who can put the most takoyaki in their mouth at once. Anita loses, obviously, and ends up almost choking. Sanji goes to help but Luffy smacks her hard on the back and ends up coughing it up. Ew.

— I’m wondering if Anita would know who the Celestial Dragons are. What I’m thinking is that their conditions at the circus were a lot worse than I first made them out to be. That they were treated like slaves, and that because the corrupt part of the government turns a blind eye ( and sometimes encourages ) the buying and selling of people. So if they were treated and seen as slaves, then I wonder if Celestial Dragons visited the island to be entertained and buy some of the troupe members.

One day she will have noticed that a certain member has gone missing and not come back. Would destroy her to see them being treated poorly years later while visiting Sabaody. Not sure if that’s giving her too much personal involvement in the arc, though. But, honestly, I’m liking this idea because she’s not going to get a major arc of her own like the canon Straw Hats to. This is the only personal things I can think of to make up for her lack of an arc and a slight foreshadowing that she won’t have a home to come back to.

— Anita debates being a love-struck idiot and staying on the ship with Sanji while it’s getting repaired by Franky and Usopp. Decides against it because she knows she’s being stupid and doesn’t want to look at his dumb, handsome face. Stupid cook.

— Like Zoro, she wasn’t there for the briefing about not dealing with Celestial Dragons. She’s off on her own thing, probably notices someone that used to be in her troupe but sees they have a collar and are being treated like an animal rather than a person. Follows after them, tries to call their name and get their attention. Might get a small, frantic look as the only warning not to say anything else! Gets confused and ends up losing them before she realizes that she’s where the rest of the Straw Hats are. Is yanked down onto her knees by one of them and doesn’t get why. Learns real quick and decides just as swiftly that she doesn’t like this place.

— Doesn’t care about Law’s crew, except for Bepo. Bear! Walking, talking bear! If they weren’t trying so hard to get Keimi back, she would have scrambled over to talk to Bepo. Wants so badly to be his bear-buddy.

— Adds a kick of her own when Sanji asks if they can buy the dancing girl. Come on, Sanji. . . Really? You’re my most beloved muse and I wanna kick your ass for that.

— Anita doesn’t get why people are reacting so badly to Hatchi. She isn’t the least bit against other races because there were too many different kinds of people that worked for the circus, so she only sees them all as people.

— She’s secretly enjoying learning about all these old pirates because she never met Crocus, and she doesn’t hear about Roger much. Always a sucker for good stories.

— The idea of splitting up doesn’t appeal to her. She has a bad feeling in her gut that she blames her animal-like instinct on. Assume Chopper can feel it too even though they’ve got got human in them too. Doesn’t mention it and almost approaches Sanji to ask if she can tag along with him wherever he plans on going.

— Anita can be incredibly dumb sometimes, but I feel like she would quickly notice that it wasn’t Kuma they were fighting. Or, at least, notice that he doesn’t have the paw-pads. Kind of hard for her to forget those when she’s so closely associated with bears.

— Probably tried to bite at the Pacifista’s and only managed to get through the ‘skin.’ I know Brook couldn’t get through it, but she’s a gigantic bear, come on. They’re supposed to be able to bite through iron, so she’s going to get her jaw into PX-4 and shed some of that outside layer.

— Running would be so easy for her in her bear form, but she doesn’t flee like she’s told. She’s taking on too much responsibility as a tank and trying to protect the groups that look like they’re under attack the most.

— Because of that, I feel like she would end up being the first one ‘erased’ because she would make every attempt to lunge in front of Zoro when the real Kuma comes. I know Zoro disappearing first was important, but she’s the one that jumps out first to do her job. She won’t get to see what happens to Chopper while he’s rampaging again, and doesn’t get to see what happens to everyone else. I wanted to be more despair inducing for her, but she would be one of the first gone and won’t have time to see them vanish.

URSA ISLAND / TWO YEAR SEPARATION

— Anita crash-lands on an island inhabited entirely by large, beastly bears. They’re all larger and stronger than she is, and they aren’t the least bit welcoming to find a human on their island. Unlike actual wild bears, these ones are barely smart enough to have a system of roles, the most important being tribe leader.

— The tribe leader, Anita dubbed King. He was a large, black, monstrous bear with nasty scars and gnarly teeth. He looks like a cruel leader, but he’s actually as kind as they come. He only wants to frighten her away because they can’t stand humans. He seeks only to protect his people. That’s what she’s come to understand, at least.

— There’s only one place that’s safe on the island, and it’s the largest tree in the entire place. They can’t climb to the top, and she can in her human form. Discovers, however, that she’s not the only human stuck on that island. A young girl is also trapped there. She doesn’t know herself very well and is nameless. She lives in the trees to avoid the bears and has lived there so long that she smells like them. Eventually, they agree that she will be called Ylde. Pronounced like ‘wild’ but Anita can’t spell and just went based on the sound.

— Ylde: Isn’t it spelled w-i-l-d? Anita: ...How the fuck does a two-year-old stuck on a bear island know how to spell better than me? Ylde: I’m thirteen. Anita: Silence, small baby.

— Ylde attempts to convince Anita that there’s no point in trying to integrate herself into the tribe. Even as a bear, they’ll know she doesn’t belong from her scent and size. Anita corrects her and says she only wants to get off the damned island so she can get back to her friends.

— Because it will be a while before she gets the paper and she’s determined to leave, she gets into her bear form and readies herself to fight through the swarm of bears just to get to shore and find one of the many boats Ylde says have washed up over the years.

— End up coming back to Ylde’s tree because she gets her ass kicked. Tries this every single day until the moment the News Coo comes with the paper saying. She understands the hint given by Luffy and is immediately relieved to see he’s still alive. Doesn’t know if the rest are, but she’s hoping so. Didn’t even occur to her that they might be dead because she managed to survive the crash.

— Spends the next to years fighting and learning on her own. Ylde doesn’t stick around when, during the first year and a half, an intact ship is discovered. She insists Anita come with her, but she refuses. Ylde, having gotten attached to her, promises to come back to that exact spot in two years to pick her up and take her where she wants to go.

— Anita’s goal, like everyone else, is to get stronger. She realizes after being beaten again and again that she’s too weak in her bear form. Seeing as how that’s the part she wants to strengthen most, she dedicates herself to staying a bear as long as she possibly can. Day in and day out, from sunrise to sunset, she wants to stay a bear. She does this and does get stronger, but doesn’t realize that in the process she was inching closer to becoming the tribe leader herself.

— Over the two year separation, the following happens; she learns armament haki that she uses only on her teeth and claws, gets even larger than before, earns more devastating-looking scars, gets even greedier with food because of how unfair the tribe was to her before she became leader, eventually becomes the leader and earns the respect of the entire island.

— But because the rest of the tribe refuses to fight her, she becomes lazy and antsy. She will absolutely crave a fight whenever it feels like one is brewing now.

— New moves: Mighty Roar: Can either a. instill fear in an enemy and send them fleeing or b. temporarily disable them because the intensity of the sound is mind-numbing. Not to be confused with Conqueror's Haki ;;

Bear Trap: Bites through any part of an enemy that she can and fuses her jaws together with her Armament Haki as long as the teeth are touching, leaving it nearly impossible to shake her off.

Bearrel Roll: Yes, it’s a pun to barrel roll. Doesn’t actually suit the move because she’s not doing a barrel roll, but she does curl up and roll into her target to catch them off guard. Is a good move to use with people she trusts to throw / kick her.

#🐻;「 still learning and growing ( headcanon ) 」#🐻;「 v. they remind me of home ( strawhat ) 」#sanita #( her arc feels too similar to zoro's but i cannot think of anything else )#( cause she doesn't have anyone train her like he did so it still felt different enough )#( idk )#( i love that it keeps warning that there will be sanji x anita mentions but )#( honestly it's one sided because i don't wanna assume sanji's feelings even tho i write him too pfft )#( i need a sanji OTL )#arc headcanons

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