#shes so fucking dumb ya'll have no clue

[slimepuparibaba]

getting numbers feat the stellaron twins

the amount of dumb danstelle and caelus 7th (wtf is their shipname i actually dont know) brainrot i have is so fucking unfair you have no clue how long ive been wanting to post some stuff twitters limit is too small i need to drabble like this like

March 7th: Oh, and here's my number, Caelus! Caelus, monotone: Oh. Thanks. March 7th: No problem!

vs

Dan Heng: Here's my number. Stelle: ......... Dan Heng: ...? Stelle: Damn bro. Are... are you hitting on me? Dan Heng: Dan Heng (but red): what Stelle: lmao that's kinda sudden like omg dinner and a movie first Dan Heng (extremely red in the face): (is she stupid? please tell me she's stupid. i'm sure she's just stupid)

and then later caelus just confronts his sister like

Caelus: What the fuck is wrong with you? Stelle: Chill out, bro. It was just a joke. Caelus, under his breath: well he doesnt think that Stelle: What? Caelus: Hm? Stelle: bro i can't hear you, you keep murmuring Caelus: Then maybe you should get your ears checked, sis. Stelle: Stelle: BRUH, IF YOU DON'T-- Caelus: and your eyes Stelle: I WILL WALK. ALL THE WAY TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SPACE STATION. I DON'T CARE WHAT WELT OR HIMEKO SAID. IT'LL BE YOUR FAULT THE FUCKING STELLARON BLOWS UP. HUH? HUH??? Caelus: And it'll be your fault that Dan Heng goes to the doctor because he's experiencing "heart palpitations" Stelle: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN. WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO WITH HIS HEART PROBLEMS? Caelus: (yeah no she's dumb)

#listen shes dumb #genuinely dumb #please donate your braincells to stelle #genuinely please do that i dont think she can do shit on her own anymore #shes so fucking dumb ya'll have no clue #hsr #honkai star rail #caelus #stelle #dan heng x stelle #danstelle #stelle x dan heng #trailblazer #twin stellarons au #also #march 7th #she got some spotlight she'll get more in future posts #i will not make a fully fledged fic out of honkai star rail because its literally just going to be the crew acting like fucking idiots #like nothing substantial happens in the main plot #its just #these four #being absolute idiots #and honestly love that for them

[saltypiss]

Neo-pronouns have gotten utterly laughable.

There's no gender to they and them. Not a single one. It's special snowflake nonsense you'd see the right breaking up about had roles been reversed.

We cannot be dumb as much as they do. Their's comes from a place of corruption and fascism, ours comes from the heart, but unlike republicans, we use our fucking brains and critically think about how poor an image for transgenders it is when you try to change how people talk just so you can feel like apart of the collective that doesn't even exist.

My Mans and Womans and inbetween and outers, you're not special. No one is. My grandma doesn't have a fucking clue what you're talking about but she's entirely up for ya'll to be and express yourselves and be happy.

Having people change how they talk, outside of simply changing the gendered words for individuals, is hella dishonest and horrible for the entire 'community'

Just controlling. Overtly so.

Transtrenders will never cease to amaze me in how snowflakey they want to be. Gay people didn't ask people to change the dictionary, or how people talked to them (respectfully)

Honestly I could go on about multiple minorities, none of them wanted special codenames or phrases and an entire dictionary of verbiage to use for them, a rulebook on how to just approach someone.

Nobody is going to stop, and ask for gender. It's never, going to happen, it's time to grow up on that front and face reality without victimizing yourselves on stupid ideas.

Once again we're seeing the left push progress backwards in an effort to move hella forwards, in a reality that only allows inches of progress for every possible thing in existence. It has to be slow so culture can change and evolve.

This pushes that back for normal people hardcore, no, not normal as in not trans or minority or whatever, I mean people that don't try to control every aspect of other's dialogue in an effort to feel safe.

Just poorly thought out in all regards. Terrible imagery and framing.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Sooga spanks Kohga again BUT with a strap or paddle

These asks are so old- ya'll fucking wait too long on my dumbass.

"I just. Don't wanna kill the guy, you know?"

Mipha had decided to go out for lunch with Kohga, Urbosa, and Revali. Kohga had yet again been talking about his sex life, and this time, complaining that he couldn't be upfront with Sooga about being spanked. Not in shame, but because Sooga was SUCH a worrywort. So...against her better judgement, she decided to help. She nudged Kohga with her elbow.

"Kohga, can I see your slate please? Mine has been acting up lately."

"Sure."

He handed it to her, keeping up his conversation with Urbosa. Oh she couldn't believe she was doing this.

'Sooga, I need you to do something.'

She had to be bossy about it, no niceties.

'Yes Master Kohga, what is it?'

'When I get back home, I need you to treat me like I've been bad.'

She watched as Sooga typed, then stopped, then typed again.

'What do you mean?'

Oh gods she was doing this. She inhaled, before exhaling.

'I mean I've been a very, VERY bad boy. So when I get home, I need you to take me into the room, and punish me. I need you to hold me down, spank me till my ass is red and raw, and tell me that I've been bad. I need you to use that big, strong body of yours, and put me in my place. Understand?'

Oh she felt awful, having typed that. Especially since he took so long to respond. But eventually she did get a message back.

'Understood, Master. I will have everything ready for you once you arrive.'

Oh boy. She quickly closed the message, and acted as if nothing happened.

------------------

Kohga hummed as he came back home. It was a nice little outing, and he was ready to come back home to his big, dumb, sweet boyfriend.

"Sooga, I'm back! Sooga?"

Odd. Usually he was at his feet, welcoming him home like a dog and asking a million things (how was it, was he hungry, thirsty, etc). But he just...wasn't. He set the bag of food down on the night stand (he got him a nice fish pie), looking around. Maybe he was taking a well deserved nap somewhere? Not likely, but hey. He was about to look for him, when he was suddenly pushed face first into the bed.

"You've kept me waiting."

"Sooga, there you are! What the hell are you-"

"Be. Silent."

Woah. That was...a tone. He swallowed his next words, which made Sooga chuckle.

"So smart of you, learning so quickly. I'd hate for you to bury yourself deeper into trouble. You're in deep enough water as it is."

Kohga had no clue what was going on. Just that Sooga was pulling his pants down, revealing his bare ass. He nearly melted into the bed as Sooga dug his fingers into his cheeks, spreading them and massaging his flesh. Oh his hands were so big and strong against his soft skin.

"S-sooga! Don't get me wrong this is hot, but what has gotten into y-"

"I. Said. SILENT."

That was when Sooga smacked his ass with his bare palm. THAT got him to stay put. Sooga chuckled, walking away from the bed, and rustling with something behind him.

"Good. Now, you've been bad. Very, very bad. As such, a normal punishment won't do. We need some more...drastic measures."

That was when he felt something trickle against his bare ass. He knew it immediately as a belt. He was holding onto a pillow, trying to stay still.

"I-i uhm, just wondering- what exactly makes me such a bad, bad boy?"

Sooga hesitated, sort of faltering in his dominant personality for a second.

"Uhm...you are bad...because you didn't say 'I love you' to me today."

"Are. Are you serious-"

"BE SILENT."

Another smack to his ass made him silent yet again. Right, right, he had to listen now. Sooga cleared his throat, trying to get his confidence back.

"You are being punished because you forget who you belong to. You belong to me. You forget as much, and it's made me cross. So, you're going to get punished until you know who is truly yours. Let's start. Who does this ass belong to?"

"Daruk on some weeken-OW!"

A firm smack to his ass with his belt made goosebumps form on his skin. Oh shit it felt like everything. Even better when he heard that leather get dripped into his big, beefy hands.

"Try. Again. Who does this ass belong to?"

"You! You you you!"

Oh he was so desperate already. His boner pressed against the mattress, his ass hurt, and Kohga knew he was drooling.

"Good, good. I enjoy a quick wit, but I'm asking for your submission, not your smarts. I want an empty mind...and a willing body."

Sooga leaned over to inspect his face, chuckling as he saw his absolute slut face. Sooga dug his fingers in between his ass, not forcing anything in him, but tempting him.

"You're throbbing. Your body is so willing. Next question. Who has the best ass in the clan?"

"I do~"

Kohga held no shame as he swung his ass back and forth, slowly, totally playing up the slutty angle. Sooga chuckled, giving his ass a small pat.

"I did give you an easy one, didn't I? Let's make this...difficult. You better give me the right answer to this question."

"Whatever you want ~"

He pushed his ass against his junk, and he could tell Sooga was SO tempted to plow him, just from the way his breath hitched.

"Okay one, you stop that, or I swear I'll be cross."

"I'll see it when I see it~. Now, question me big guy."

Sooga sighed, as if this was a hopeless.

"You always say no. But would you ever want to get married to me?"

"No."

His answer was instinctual. It was enough to make even Sooga be silent. Then another slap to his ass.

"Wrong answer. Again."

Sooga was a fucking asshole. Giving him a question with an impossible answer.

"N-no!"

Sooga let him have it again. And again. Each slap was harder and faster than the last, making the room flood with the sounds of his fat ass getting smacked.

"Answer it CORRECTLY. You love me. I know you do. Stop holding your pride. I see your cock throbbing. Right answers only."

Another slap. Another. Another, Another. Each slap was harder and harder still, and Kohga was brought further and further to the truth. How did one know that this was honesty, rather than just him trying to appease Sooga? Because he yelled it. Not in his usual sexy manner, but in a pathetic, mewling, begging tone.

"OKAY FINE, IF I HAD TO PICK SOMEONE TO DO SOME STUPID MARRIAGE BULLSHIT, IT'D BE YOU, OKAY? I ADMIT IT!"

Kohga groaned into his hands, absolutely embarrassed. To see his master so humbled was...nice. Sweet. He leaned down to his level, not bothering to hide the smirk on his lips.

"You're in agony, aren't you?"

"YES."

"Would you rather I spank you till you cum now? Make that ass raw and red for me?"

"PLEASE."

"As you wish, my Master."

Sooga put his hand on his back, and proceeded without mercy. Smack, after smack, after smack. Each strike broke down the walls of Kohga's want to orgasm. And of course, he finally came. It was a grateful, full climax that ended with Kohga limp on the bed, relieved that his torment was over. Sooga put his belt back on, leaning down to kiss Kohga's head.

"Happy?"

"Mhmm...a real nice surprise, honestly ~"

"Is it that much of a surprise if you asked for it?"

Kohga looked up from the bed, brow raised.

"What?"

"Your...texts."

"What texts?"

Sooga reached over for his data pad, showing Kohga. He looked at it for a moment, before shaking his head.

"That...wasn't me. I mean I wish it was, but nope."

"That's...odd? Did someone have your data pad?"

"Well Mipha did, but we know she wouldn't. You know what? It's probably Revali, horny ass bird."

Course Mipha wouldn't insight something this crude right?

#asks #Kohga #Sooga #lemon