#sigh another important thing was that it was crucial i went back to therapy... i dont really want to tho... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nevensato-blog · 7 years

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Paging Dr. Awkward | Neven & Ricky

Neven didn't really know how to feel about this whole thing. He'd never had to reject someone in his life. He'd never even been asked out before. But this Greek God of a man had asked him out just yesterday, and he'd felt the need to say no because he was interested in Reza. He wasn't even sure that was going to go anywhere, or if Reza truly liked him back in that way, but he was willing to give it a try. He just hoped this whole thing didn't ruin any sort of blossoming friendship with Ricky. He supposed this would be the ultimate test. He had purchased real coffee from Coffee Plus and brought it with him, instead of settling for nasty hospital coffee. The nurse gave him a little trouble for bringing it in, but ultimately let him pass and up to Ricky's room. Neven stood outside the door for a moment, wondering if this was the right thing to do. He'd wanted space, he'd said. Maybe he was only saying he was okay with Neven visiting to be nice since Neven was clearly so concerned about him. Hopefully seeing him so soon wouldn't make things worse. He took a deep breath and knocked on the open door as he walked in. "Hey, man. How you doing?" he said. Ricky looked high on pain meds and his arm was in a cast. The answer was probably not so great. "I brought real coffee." He held the two cups up as he walked over, setting one down on the tray in front of Ricky. He stayed standing, not really sure how long Ricky would want him to stay, so he refrained from getting comfortable.

It wasn't that he didn't want to see Neven. He definitely wanted to see Neven. Neven was cute and funny and he made Ricky smile. The problem was Ricky wanted to see Neven in a way the man wasn't interested in and that made it a little more awkward. But, he'd gotten a ride to the hospital and had brought him coffee so, Ricky could grin and bear it. However he was acutely aware that he looked like shit. He hadn't slept well since he could only sleep on his back and that wasn't usual for him, and the pain was fraying him to pieces. But when Neven poked his head through the door he put on his brightest smile, dragging the blanket up over his bare chest to hide the cast, so only his good arm was visible "Hey! Thanks for the coffee man. You really didn't have to do that." He leaned forward and took a sip, reveling in the taste "have a seat. I hear they're uncomfortable as fuck."

Neven couldn't help but notice all of the tattoos on Ricky's chest as he covered it up with the sheet. He felt his chest tighten a little, but he cleared his throat to try to get rid of the feeling. "It's no problem, really. Nobody should be subjected to shitty coffee." He smiled when Ricky seemed pleased with the drink he'd brought. When he was offered to sit down, he felt relieved, then suddenly not when Ricky's assessment was right. "Definitely uncomfortable as fuck," he said with a chuckle, wiggling around a little on the chair to try to get comfortable. It was pretty hopeless. "So do they have you on the good drugs?" He was still in a lot of pain from transforming a few nights ago. He would have minded some morphine himself. "What happened?"

"Food's worse than the coffee but... at least I've got a steady string of friends bringing me contraband and trying to cheer me up. So... I've had some good pizza and some great sushi." Ricky tossed Neven a pillow that he wasn't using to help cut the discomfort of the chair, "If you've gotta sit here with broken me you might as well be decently comfortable while you do." He took another sip of the coffee and looked over at his visitor; at least it wasn't super awkward between them.... just a little bit. "Yeah. I'm pretty much constantly doped up right now which is great because with how much pain I'm in now... I can't imagine what it would be like if I wasn't on the drugs." Ricky blew his hair out of his face and shrugged... well shrugged as much as he could before wincing, "I fell out of a tree. I like climbing trees and a branch snapped near the top. Broke my arm in four places. Two rods, couple'a pins." He pulled a face, "It's gonna screw with my life but.... I think I'll keep managing."

Neven gladly took the pillow and put it behind him, glad for the extra cushion. His back always what hurt the most after transformations. He chuckled only a little when Ricky mentioned he couldn’t imagine what it would feel like if he wasn’t doped up. “I can,” he muttered, clear his throat to cover his slip up. He raised an eyebrow at Ricky’s explanation for his injuries. “You fell out of a tree? That you were climbing in the middle of winter? If that’s true, you can’t yell at me for riding my bike in the winter then.” But then Ricky mentioned that the broken arm would screw with this life and Neven’s heart sank a little. “Oh yeah…swimming. I…I didn’t even think about that. Have you told your coach yet?"

Ricky: Turning as much as he could in the bed to face Neven, Ricky missed whatever the man said under his breath. He could only hope it wasn't actually important but the moment was brushed away when Neven's eyebrows shot up at the mention of how the accident had happened. "okay fuckeroo listen here. Climbing a tree for a small amount of time is different from biking down a snowy street where there are cars, Mister Man. These two things are not even remotely comparable." A small chuckle and a deep drink of his coffee served to give him time to consider how he wanted to answer Neven's query about swimming, something he really didn't want to talk about. "he's one of my emergency contacts so... he was told when I was admitted and unconscious. I...." he took a deep breath and centered himself before continuing, "I can't compete anymore. This is my last semester as an undergrad and I won't be healed enough to swim competitively for any of it. They said it'd be something close to a miracle if I can ever swim like I used to again, even with therapy and everything." He could feel his eyes start to swim and took another drink to cover, desperately grasping for any conversational stray to change the topic, "Have I missed anything? World's still falling apart in its usual manner, right?"

Neven had a feeling that Ricky wasn't the best recipient of outward sympathy. He'd probably find it more patronizing than comforting. So Neven refrained from his usually chorus of apologies and went for something a little simpler. "That blows." He spotted the tears start to well up in Ricky's eyes and simply averted his own. Him telling Neven that he upheld his image of a partier and a player might not directly influence this conversation, but it had opened his eyes a lot to how Ricky functioned. He didn't want attention drawn to his feelings. So Neven wouldn't. He'd be there for him, but he wouldn't stoke the fire. "You haven't really missed anything, no."

A small part of Ricky appreciated that Neven glossed over his declaration of athletic death but a part of him wanted someone to... he didn't even know. He'd cried. At three in the morning when he was alone and nobody could see him. But he wanted something from another person he just didn't know what. He relaxed back against his pillows, playing with his now empty cup with his good hand. "Talk to me about something. I don't care what. Just distract me. Playing any good games? I've been rocking some Witcher cuz Quinn recommended it and he's bringing my DS over so I can play some Pokémon Moon. That at least I only need one hand for. God bless turn based combat. Just.... distract me. Please."

Neven perked up at the request. "Distraction. Right. Uhhhh...." Of course when he was asked to talk about his biggest hobby in a crucial moment, his mind blanked. It took him way too long for something to come to mind. "I've been playing Fallout 4 lately. Again. I've never actually finished it. I can't bring myself to make a decision on who to side with in the end so I just...never have. This time I will though. The completionist in me demands it." He chuckled a little. "Oh, and I have Pokemon Sun. I have an extra vulpix I can give you. You can't get them in Moon." He pulled out his phone and brought up a video he'd watched earlier. "Look at this cute cat. That'll cheer you up for sure." He was usually pretty good at distracting and supporting people when they weren't doing their best, but this whole situation was off on a lot of levels. There was tension in the air that could be cut with a knife. It almost made it a little harder to breathe.

Listening to Neven talk made Ricky the tiniest bit sad. There was clearly a lot of tension there, in between them, and it was the opposite of what he wanted. He watched the cat movie with a small smile on his face and then laid his head back, eyes shutting, "Neven. I asked you out and you said you were interested in someone else. It's not the end of the world." The steady beep of his heart rate monitor made it clear to him that he was going to get through this conversation unscathed, "I'm a big boy and I can handle some rejection. What's gonna be tougher to handle is if I lose someone I think could become a really good friend to me in the process." He cracked an eye and looked over, "I don't care who you're interested in, I really don't. As long as you're happy? Then I'm chill." Heaving a sigh he opened both eyes and sat up a little, "Just so we get that out in the open. So... Fallout 4. Should I give it a go?" Hopefully he'd cut some of the tension down.

Neven let go of a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding as Ricky laid down his feelings. "Thanks," was all he said at first. He meant it too. Being told over the internet that he'd be fine in a bit was one thing, but hearing it in person made Neven feel a lot better. He fiddled around with his coffee cup lid for a moment and then took a drink. It calmed him a little. "I wouldn't want to lose you as a friend either." He smiled and set his cup down. "You should definitely try it. The one thing I hate though is the start of it forces you into a heteronormative relationship, but mainstream gaming, right? What are you gonna do?"

Ricky managed a soft smile at the younger man's breath of what he could have sworn was relief. The air thinned a little, much of the tension dissipated and Ricky felt like it was a good step towards friendship. A friendship untainted by his former crush on Neven. He chuckled a laugh and winced as the movement jostled his arm "I've been passing for heteronormative my whole life. I'm sure I'll manage it in a game without too much trouble." He could feel his life growing heavy and he breathed out a long sigh "hey man. These drugs are kicking in and I really am sure you don't wanna watch me sleep. But thanks for bringing me coffee, I really appreciate it. And when I'm outta here we'll go for coffee again and I'll tell you what I think of Fallout." He could feel the narcotic strength of his meds pushing his eyelids down and he held out a fist for Neven to bump. "Seriously. Thank you. For everything."

#touchofchatzy #w:ricky

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