#sjm please put us out of our misery

[sjmgirlie]

You will never be able to convince me that ACOSF was a good book. Let me explain.

1) It was a literal homicide for all the characters. Every. Single. One. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s from Nesta’s pov or what, but seriously, every single character basically became unlikeable? Rhys? Feyre (to an extent)? Cassian? Mor? Amren? Did Nesta really get much better?? Like no one was really likeable. Maybe Az being the only sane one. Elain showed some teeth which I liked but it still wasn’t the best.

2) Where was the plot? You’re telling me she only found troves and then killed one mortal/made queen? Before you argue, the fact we find out about Nesta’s literal powers in another series says a lot. Why didn’t we find out Nesta had silver flame power (WHICH IS THE NAME OF THE BOOK) in said book??????? Make it make sense. This book didn’t move the plot at all. Other than having the troves now. And killing the one crazy queen. The amount of times we were on the stairs was not needed. Nesta is a massive part of this universe, and yes, she can wield the troves. But everyone who is made can. So like what else could she have done? Something more im sure. I mean that’s why I think she was in HOFAS in the first place. To “conquer” the prison, get gwydion as her return of service, and show her powers. I get that the whole starborn thing needed to happen in HOFAS with Bryce but honestly Nesta needed more. And that’s another reason why people think she’s going to get another book, because what even happened in her book????

3) Nessian. Now here me out. Do we like smut? Yes. Do we like it when there’s actual romance involved? Yes. Did we truly get that? No. It’s been a while since I read this book because I just have no desire for a re-read. I’m sorry. But going from “my only regret in this life is that we did not have time. That I did not have time with you Nesta. I will find you in the next life” (ya I basically memorized it because I was kicking my feet at him saying that) to “I didn’t ask to be shackled to you either” after Nesta, a human turned fae, didn’t care about being called a mate? Like? Absolute homicide to Cassian’s character. Was the hike nice? No. Did he say nice things after she passed out? Yes. But like? I just think they deserved a better romance. And I just literally didn’t even know who I was reading when Cassian was involved. The guy that would crack jokes and just was loving? All of a sudden a mean person? To Nesta too? Like idk. It rubbed me the wrong way. They deserved better. The fact people actually want Eris and Nesta means it CLEARLY did not stick. Which means it was not convincing. No one says this about Feysand. They could have been FIREWORKS. But at times it genuinely didn’t feel like Cassian even liked her??? Where was the golden retriever energy? It was like the guy was on steroids the whole time and just blowing a fuse constantly. That was NOT the Cassian I remembered from ACOWAR. I mean idk maybe it was the fact the reluctant mate trope was just too difficult? The fact it started physically wasn’t my favourite either. Then it was so focused on that that it was like okay were are those romantic moments. “You’re not going to marry Eris” “no” “we will have no others” like that was romantic. Then the shackle thing literally happened the next day. Wtf.

4) Did I relate to Nesta’s issues and healing journey? A bit. But I just found it aggravating at times. I felt there was huge potential to dive into what it is to be the oldest sister. More into alot of things tbh. Her holding the line on Ramiel was a great moment, because she could finally protect people she cared about, but I wish that would have been implied more? Her journey seemed like a huge self insert and idk. It wasn’t as amazing as it could have been.

5) Nesta’s redemption? I don’t even like that word. I wanted people to begin to UNDERSTAND Nesta more. Not just be thankful she saved Feyre/Rhys/Nyx. Like a genuine understanding. Does Cassian? Ya I guess. Elain? It’s said she knew everything Nesta did and why. So yes she did. Az? Ya. He was literally the only one who wasn’t an asshole to her at any point lol. And I wouldn’t consider Elain and asshole to her either because she did just stand up for herself finally. Like imagine the comments you’d hear having Nesta as a sister (for real). But did anyone leave understanding Nesta, understanding why she was snarky and rude? No. Idk if that’s the point to create a divide or what. But seriously. I get Nesta to some degree now. Why did the characters not.

6) Nesta gaining friends was nice and I see why people cling to the Valkyrie. That was literally probably the best part of the book. And that’s saying something about the way the romantic pair was executed might I add. We weren’t obsessed with Feyre and Mor and Amren being friends. We were obsessed with Feysand. But the most you hear from ACOSF is about the Valkyrie.

7) Again. I never truly hated Nesta, but I didn’t necessarily love her after this either. I understood the character more, I saw her own dark thoughts, I saw how she felt, and I understood. But was she my favourite? No. I think her appearance in HOFAS, other than showing her powers (????), was to make Nesta more likeable. Because a lot of people still don’t like her. Like I said, I am PRO ARCHERON FOREVER, but I wanted more for Nesta. I wanted a lot for the girl.

8) The dreaded bonus chapter. I’ve said my opinion on this multiple times. Idk. It’s just hate for Elain that drives it tbh. It’s literally a copy and paste of the Nessian one from ACOMAF basically that if you put it in a plagiarism generator it would probably not pass. YET, it has literally desecrated the fandom. Completely. You literally can’t go anywhere without some ship war happening. And ya, I feed into it too being super pro Elriel because I love them. But damn. Imagine if this energy was put into, idk, theories of the plot? We would have figured out the Maas universe by now tbh. I wish it didn’t exist everyday. And to a lot of people it doesn’t, and I envy them. Life was simpler before the “did you read the bonus chapter” fiasco. And tbh I’m pretty sad that SJM hasn’t said a word about it. Or her publisher because it gets way out of line way too often. The actual love triangle has always been set up as Lucien/Elain/Az, and somehow we left the BC with a square??? Idek.

Overall, it just did not do Nesta or Cassian justice in my mind. It created way too many head canons, it made Cassian unlikeable in a lot of ways (why are you calling Mor beautiful?) and it just seriously destroyed a lot of characters.

I’m really hoping in Elain’s book we, idk, make amends finally? If I have to see another toe to toe battle between Nesta and Rhys I’m going to be sick. They are both right in ways, but I just can’t take it anymore. And this is what I mean about Nesta’s story not being one of UNDERSTANDING. Which is what she NEEDED. TO BE UNDERSTOOD. The rudeness, snarky comments, death glares etc just needed to be understood man.

#elain #elain x azriel #acotar series #pro nesta #pro archeron sisters #pro feysand #pro nessian #but they deserved better #pro elriel #sjm please put us out of our misery #give us the next book #make nessian great again #stop the ship wars

[famouscyclenerd]

People really be pressed about elucien's mating bond🙄

The ridiculous "theories" I've been seeing screams desperation. Everything from love bond, power bond, breeding bond💀, soul bond. Like wtf.

Where did this come from? There is one bond, the mating bond.

And are we still overanalyzing the cauldron scene?? After all these years..

Where Lucien was trying to get to Elain before she was turned fae. Breaking free from the spell that not even Tamlin - a high lord - could break free from, to get to her, covering her with his coat (that she still has🫶) and lifting her away from the water.

Where Az was still reaching for Mor even when he was fighting against the faebane. She went to him, pressing against his wound with her hand. And Az, who winced, but covered her hand with his own. When Mor looked at Az there was fear, for Az' safety - and "something else". It doesn't take rocket science to figure that one out, the mating bond clicked for Mor, but then sjm changed course in acowar. (Moriel was the plan in acomaf - and anyone who says otherwise are gaslighting fr)

Azriel has no reaction whatsoever to Elain, to her safety, during the cauldron scene. His only focus was on Mor the entire time. As was Lucien's on Elain. They didn't care about anyone else.

Cassian was bleeding out when Nesta was shoved into the cauldron. He was reaching for her whenever he was conscious. But they are mates?

Didn't the cauldron, the mother think he was dying and had someone else be Nesta's mate? No? Their mating bond is not fake? Why? Cause the cauldron was not corrupted when Nesta was in it, only Elain?

I'm so sick of this ship war.

Sarah please!!!! PUT US OUT OF OUR MISERY, I BEG U😭

#acotar #elucien #pro elucien #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #anti e/riel

[freyjas-musings]

Have a feeling SJM is going to do the funniest thing ever and announce the next ACOTAR project is a Nessian novella. Weirdos are out here sending threat messages over the love interests of fictional characters, and the conclusion to this shipping war isn't even coming next. I wish she would just put us out of our misery.

I don't know about Nessian but I am certainly excited about seeing more of Nesta's journey in the next book, I dont know if we will get another dedicated novella though . It is clear her story isn't over, troves and made weapons will always involve Nesta.

As far as weirdos go they were always there trust me, yes the anti Az idiots have hit an all time low with the please pick Lucien energy but as far as ship wars go nothing has changed and it won't either...not even after the book release.

Ultimately, the fact remains this fandom will find something to fight about if not ships then characters. As exhausting as it sounds don't let it take away from the characters and pairings that you love ❤️

#pro nesta archeron #pro nesta #nesta archeron #i’m so tired of this fucking fandom i swear #Gwynriel #pro azriel #azriel spymaster #acotar shadowsinger #gwyneth berdara #pro gwynriel

[atomiccourtdaze]

Okay SJM, it was funny in the beginning but now the fandom is slowly losing it with all these theories they’re coming up with.

Please put us out of our misery and kindly give a release date for CC3

Sincerely,

Me.

#acotar #acowar #feysand #acomaf #acosf #azriel #nessian #crescent city #bryce quinlan #ruhn danaan #lidia x ruhn

[wisteriabookss]

My ACOSF Review (2/5 Stars)

Please respect my opinions. Not everything I say will be praiseful or nice. While I liked a lot of this book, a lot of it frustrated and bothered me. 

This review contains spoilers. Read at your own risk. 

This review will be more of an overall impression, and I will get more in depth about certain characters in future posts. 

I eventually got into the plot of the book, but I don’t think it was as great or creative as it could’ve been. I feel like SJM recycled ideas she’s already used to create the storyline. A quest to find a magic object that can stop a war and save the world? That sentence applies to both ACOWAR and ACOSF. It’s even more disappointing when you know there were other routes the plot could’ve taken but were eventually scratched. It was the perfect set up for an Illyrian mountain setting, it was written in canon, and, unsurprisingly, SJM retconned and changed it. 

The Valkyrie plot was cool, if a bit forced and out of place. Nesta barely starts training, and all of a sudden she wants to recreate a powerful band of female warriors that we’ve never heard of in the context of this world? Honestly, it feels like SJM watched Thor: Ragnarok, and was like, “Yes, that’s what I’m gonna do.” I thought Helions winged horses would come into play with that, but I guess we’ll have to see.

I thought the Blood Rite plot was gone, but we got it in the end, even though it was rushed. The most beautiful parts of the book happened during the Rite, so I’m glad we got to see those.

The ending of Briallyn was so swift I literally had to go back a page to make sure I read it right. Literally one page, and she’s killed. I expected more. I can’t say I'm surprised by how rushed her death was when I knew the Feysand trouble was approaching, and the number of pages left was getting smaller. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that SJM would save Rhys, Feyre, and their baby. Out of the entire ensemble in Kingdom of Ash, she only had the heart to kill Gavriel, who wasn’t too much of a main character. There was no way in hell she would do that to Feysand. 

I’m sorry, but I do not like the name Nyx. Imagine calling someone Nyx? Did she originally have it as Nick, but just needed to put an X? My eyes were rolling so hard when I read it. Just put an ‘O’ in front of it and end our misery, though I still would’ve rolled my eyes at that name too. The name just reminds me of all the blogger moms who put X’s in their child’s names for dramatic effect that ends up looking like they can’t spell.

I also didn’t appreciate the out of touch colloquialisms in this book either. Prythian doesn’t have a name for anxiety, depression, or PTSD, but they know what lactic acid means?

The amount of sex in this book was something we had been warned to expect, and I think due to the fastness of me reading this book (finished in two sittings), it made it feel like the sex was happening every other page, which it basically was. I’m not going to be mad though because a) it was well written, b) I didn’t feel like it harmed the plot too much, and c) this is the only Nessian smut we’re going to see in canon. But that threesome line with Az. . . y'all know which one I’m talking about. . . the one with the details about certain positions. . .  chile um anyways let’s move on. 

I called it months ago that Emerie would either be Mor or Azriel’s love interest, and looks like it’s going to be Mor. SJM’s writing is fairly predictable, especially when it comes to romantic ships, and she couldn’t have been more obvious about the two of them. I will write about Gwyn and Azriel in Azriel’s chapter review (cause that monstrosity needs a post of its own).

Now about Nesta’s healing arc. Some of it was satisfying and others were saddening. I’m happy that Nesta was able to find purpose in her life, and not believe herself to be worthless or pathetic, but strong and powerful. I’m happy she found Gwynn and Emerie; I love their friendship. I love how they stuck by each other no matter what, and saw the good and potential in one another.

However, even by the end of the book, Nesta still thinks herself as undeserving. Of Cassian, of love. She knows she has it, and she's so grateful for it, but she still believes she is undeserving of it, that Cassian is just so much better than her. A part of learning to love and live with yourself is knowing what you deserve, so why SJM took that from her character, I don’t know. I was continuously disappointed when said she was undeserving of anything, even after she had learned and grown from her mistakes. 

Maybe SJM thinks the belief of being undeserving of one's partner is romantic. I’m telling you now, it’s not. All that does is give unnecessary power to a person you believe you are undeserving of, and this leads to unequal power dynamics in a relationship. Rhys was the exact same with Feyre, so I’m guessing it's a theme.

Speaking of romantic themes, the repetition of the “your mine-im yours” line in this book was nauseating. Your going to make Nesta say the exact same thing her sister said when they had sex? Is there nothing else SJM could’ve come up with? It’s just so weird. And I swear to god if I see Elain do the same thing I’m gonna vomit. 

Nesta apologized to Cassian about what she said to him on Solstice in ACOFAS as if he never called her unlovable. As if he never said he didn’t understand why her sisters love her. He never apologized for that. There was so much apologizing from Nesta to Cassian about her calling him a brute, as if Cassian didn’t say he was “shackled” to her after she clearly explained how she feared she would lose her humanity if she accepted the word mate. Not if she accepted him, but the word. 

For Cassian to routinely tell Nesta to, “shut her fucking mouth,” when she used some attitude against Rhys was comical. Rhys has been bad mouthing and disrespecting Nesta this whole time, and when she shows some warranted attitude in return (not even an insult), Cassian rips into her. It doesn’t matter what he did for you, babe. Not everyone has the same experience with Rhys, so Cassian getting angry when Nesta showing anger at the way she was being treated was wrong. Her experience with him does not become invalidated just because Cassian has a good relationship with him.

There wasn’t a character arc for Cassian, which was one of the most disappointing parts of the book. He thinks of himself as inferior and undeserving as well, and by the end of the book it’s not even clear if that stance has changed. We saw him grow into the courtier persona in the meeting with Eris when Tamlin shows up, but we never see it again. I know there were instances in which he stood up for Nesta, but he also very quicky after that became silent in other moments when they were insulting her. The next book isn’t in his pov, but I’m hoping we see him become more confident in himself and make a firmer stance to protect Nesta (although I doubt he’ll need to seeing as how Rhys kisses the ground she walks on now).

Now onto Nesta’s apologies to the IC. I think Nesta apologizing to Feyre was expected, and I’m glad the sisters had that moment. I am, however, upset that there was never a moment where all the sisters sat down, and hashed it out. Talked about what they’d been through, how it affected them, and how it affected their feelings toward each other. After everything that happened between Nesta and Elain, all that hurt, you’re telling me all it took was Nesta to make Elain laugh by saying “fuck you,” and we’re good? It’s lazy writing. 

Elain telling Nesta that she only cared about how her trauma affected her did not sit right with me. Nesta sat by Elain’s side for weeks when she was in the thick of her struggles, and refused to leave her alone for fear that her struggles would eat her up alive. She constantly looked for anything that could help her sister, and never left her unprotected. Nesta and Elain didn’t communicate after the war, for reasons that we now know was because of Nesta’s guilt for Elain being kidnapped. It is not abnormal when a family member has been traumatized by things that have happened to another family member. That’s expected. Ask any family who has lost a child or had a relative go through something horrible.

Elain is acting as if Nesta has only ever been concerned with herself when she’s spent her entire life concerned with Elain. I made a post long ago about how the IC only wanted Nesta to heal for their sake rather than her sake, and there’s so much more evidence for that than for Elain. Elain’s healing process was able to be understood and encouraged by the IC, whereas they had no idea what to do with Nesta. So for Elain to come at Nesta for not caring about her trauma, a second after Nesta was trying to protect her from further trauma by telling her she didn't want her seering for the Trove, was unwarranted.

Speaking about Elain looking for the Trove, what happened there? Elain had this whole speech where she said she wanted to do something and no one could stop her and then we just. . . don’t hear anything about it again? SJM had a perfect opportunity to do something powerful with Elain there, and completely threw it away. 

Nesta’s apology to Amren was extreme, dramatic, and honestly, unnecessary. Amren called Nesta a “pathetic waste of life,” constantly demeaned and degraded her anytime her name was mentioned, and said she did all this because Nesta used her as a shield against her problems and the IC. Seriously? Nesta using Amren as a shield does not warrant that kind of verbal abuse. It doesn't make her a pathetic waste of life. Amren’s been alive for how long? And reacts like that to an obvious side effect of extreme trauma? No ma'am. Nesta getting on her damn knees was too much, and obviously just another moment, like a lot of moments, that SJM felt the need to make dramatic. And then having the audacity to let Amren say to Nesta that, “the struggle with the darkness is worth it,” when she was one of those people who contributed to that darkness is disgusting.

I didn’t like Rhys at all in this book. Even after he saw inside Nesta’s mind about her experience in the cauldron, he was still wary and rude with her. Literally anytime Nesta showed that she was changing, Rhys didn’t change anything about his attitude or behavior towards her. A moment of regret, and then he’s back to being arrogant ass Rhys. Him not telling Feyre about the baby was also extremely stupid. It’s her body, her life, her baby’s life, his life, and she had a right to know what was happening. Not telling her because you didn’t want her to be “upset,” is a dumb excuse. I thought you always promised to let her make her own decisions, Rhys? What happened to that promise? The one that was a hell of a lot better than the stupid bargain ya’ll made? Though Nesta told her out of anger, good on her for telling her sister. Should’ve happened way sooner. His apology to Nesta was the only one that warranted the dramatics. That is what you get on your knees for.

That whole scene about him becoming High King had me throwing the book. Amren telling Rhys that the swords were some sort of mother-mary-cauldron-blessed-hallelujah sign that he was supposed to be High King had me fuming. It’s Nesta’s power. It’s Nesta’s sword. That should have never been a discussion. Not everything is for Rhys. These people are so blinded by their love for him they can’t even see how arrogant he is. To write Nesta giving back Ataraxia made me so angry after we just had a whole moment where we find out it means inner peace. I just hope that all of this is not foreshadowing Rhys becoming High King. I know you love him Sarah, but please don’t.

All in all, this book wasn’t too bad. There were some great moments and some bad moments. I think SJM’s biggest issue in her writing is that she doesn’t outline, or at least doesn't seem to outline, not thoroughly. I feel like she uses plot devices willy nilly whenever it’s the easiest solution. There was never a moment where I said, “that was clever!” A lot of it was cool, but not clever. Not creative. She also has a tendency to write very dramatically, in staccato type sentences where everything is made into a big moment, which bugs me a lot. 

I love Nesta. She’s still my fav, and will probably always be my fav. This book doesn’t change that, and as you can tell in my review, most of the issues I had weren’t with her behavior, but with the behavior of other characters. I still love Cassian, even though he made me want to rip my hair out sometimes.

Will I read the next books? Probably. I can’t seem to stay away from these characters or these books, so kudos to SJM for writing them. I know a majority of people have given this book 4 or 5 stars, but I can’t bring myself to give it more than 2/5.

#nesta #cassian #nessian #acosf #a court of silver flames #sjm #nesta archeron #nesta x cassian #cassian x nesta #feysand #feyre #feyre archeron #rhysand #elain #elain archeron #amren #sarah j maas #nesta stan #nestastan

[the-overgrowth]

Retrospective: “Faybane” #1

This is where it all started, on July 8th, 2016. Although probably a bit earlier than that, but this is the earliest thing I can find that’s actually written down, so that’s what counts. And back in the day I didn’t let ideas marinate the way I do now, I just started writing pretty much as soon as I got the idea.

Anyway, the document was created at this point in time according to Google Docs, and was last modified in October 3rd, 2016. It’s only 3 chapters long, plus one incomplete fourth chapter, and the whole thing is about 17k words.

Which is a lot for 3 chapters. I would say something about how I’m less wordy now, but the latest draft is like 107k words long, so, like, I will always struggle with shutting the fuck up, methinks.

Also, the reason this is called “Faybane” is because that was the working title I used, and the name of this document. I thought it’d be the proper title but like. It’s bad lmao.

Anywhomst, let’s get into it!

Some background info for those who are new or need a refresher: this WIP became a thing after I read and was disappointed by A Court of Thorns and Roses by SJM, as well as The Iron King by Julie Kagawa and some book by Holly Black, was it Tithe?

ACOTAR was the biggest culprit. I feel that this is important to keep in mind as we go through this mess.

We open on Sidra in the forest with a bunch of men she calls a hunting party. It’s clear she doesn’t want to be there, but since she’s the only decent hunter among them and it’s her sister’s wedding today, she has to make the kill to feed the people attending said wedding.

This is, as the kids say, big stupid, and seems like a very ill-prepared celebration? I guess it makes some sense for them to want fresh meat, but this fresh? What if they didn’t find anything? What if they didn’t manage to kill anything? Is the whole thing cancelled? Stupid.

We find out they’ve been hunting a boar and that this dude named Liam, our Gaston replacement, previously wounded the animal but didn’t kill it, causing it to flee and force the hunting party to follow. It’s up to Sidra to make the killing blow, which she does with an arrow straight into its head. This was back when Sidra was still YA Heroine Extraordinaire and the time period was Vaguely Medieval, I guess.

They begin taking their quarry back home and Sidra thinks about how she normally doesn’t hunt this close to the “Faewilds” because animals closer to the border are said to be bigger and more violent. There isn’t an actual border, people just had to rely on intuition and not wander too far into the forest.

She also mentions a girl named Wilda, who disappeared fairly recently and everyone suspects it was the fae. This isn’t relevant now, but Wilda will return in later drafts, I think.

Everybody, especially my family, knew that I was one of the best archers in town, whether I used a bow or a crossbow.

Shut up, Not!Feyre. Nobody likes you.

I should mention that at this point I didn’t bother googling how big wild boars get and just assumed they were the size of like, a thick medium dog. Which is, if you know how big boars are, very incorrect. Four men pulling the animal seems realistic enough, but then Liam just lifts it up on his own? Not buying it.

Sidra laments how much she hates Liam and we find out that he apparently tried to assault her and she stabbed him? And apparently she’s not happy about his marriage to Sinéad but can’t do anything about it because “Father’s word is law” and Sinéad herself laughed it off when Sidra tried to warn her?

Yeah, gonna call bullshit on that one. No idea why this was here or what purpose it serves, the reason Liam doesn’t exist in the latest draft is because I never figured out what his purpose was so I axed him entirely. 

Current!Sidra would just kill him the moment he showed an interest in Sinéad, and Current!Sinéad would 100% believe her sister about something like that.

Some bloke named Connor strikes up a conversation with Sidra, seemingly worried about being this far away from human civilization. Liam teases him about it and calls the fae “knife-ears”, because I still had brainrot back then and liked Dragon Age and had zero original ideas in my head.

The men make jokes about having sex with fae women and Sidra seems so disturbed by this that she nocks an arrow. This isn’t the first time she makes references to feeling unsafe around these men, I have no idea why I wrote it this way aside from being edgy, I guess.

My village was mostly populated by men, and even though I wasn’t one of the pretty girls there, I knew these men weren’t picky, even with all their talk about beautiful fae women. I’d heard that fae women would kill their men after sleeping with them. I had no way of know it was true, but a part of me hoped it was and that Liam would some day soon get “lucky” and encounter a female fae, so she could end his misery.

Edgy, dude.

They eventually arrive and Sidra goes inside her house, which is a simple cottage with three rooms. I think her family are all farmers? It’s kind of confusing. She goes into her and Sinéad’s bedroom, where Sinéad is preparing for her wedding. Also, she’s blonde.

“Sid! There you are!” she said cheerily. “Killed a boar, huh? Good on Liam for taking all the credit.��

If you know your man is trash, why are you marrying him?

Apparently Liam seduced Sinéad with sweets and baked goods. I mean ... fair enough. Considering how Sidra complains about being hungry and skinny and going without food if she doesn’t kill the boar because this year’s harvest was minimal, I’m assuming y’all are starving.

We find out Sinéad’s mother doesn’t let her do anything around the house or farm, to preserve her “soft and white” hands and pale complexion so she could be married off easily. This makes zero sense, you’d think these medieval men wouldn’t have the same beauty standards as Victorian England, plus having a mouth to feed that doesn’t even help feeding itself is just nuts. 

But remember, this isn’t Sidra, this is Not!Feyre. She needs to be sad and put-upon and a victim. She explains how she was never pretty to begin with and thus nobody considered her to be worthy of marrying off, which then meant she was put to work and became even less attractive because now she was so cool and badass that all the men were intimidated by her.

Yeah, in a village that already doesn’t have a lot of young women? I’m not buying this, lmao. But go off, Not!Feyre.

I’d been the one helping around, instead. Hunting, mostly. Sometimes I’d chop wood or work the farm. Marrying out of the house seemed impossible. Marrying up was practically a dream you forgot upon waking. Had I been pretty from the start there would’ve been a foundation to work from, but I was a lost cause even before my skin became tan and my hands grew veined and calloused. I had freckles which people mistook for mud and dull brown eyes, a long nose that had been broken one time too many and a mouth that made it look like I constantly felt a bad smell no matter what facial expression I made. I’d always been of rather short stature and had brown hair and thick eyebrows, which in combination with everything else made my parents call me their “little goblin”. The scar on my face didn’t help me either: men didn’t like it when their women were more battle-hardened than they were.

Oh god please, don’t go off! We don’t care! Stop going off!

Also what fucking parents call their poor kid a goblin? Yikes.

Sinéad convinces Sidra to get prettied up and Sidra is all “oh I bet all the men will just fall over themselves for my favor now huh” which is just the most annoying fucking thing, prompting Sinéad to respond:

“Well, winter is coming and game is scarce. If they want to survive, marrying the best hunter in the village might be a good bet.”

Yeah! This is correct! I refuse to believe people wouldn’t be into Sidra! Not only does everyone apparently know she’s the best hunter in town, but Sidra herself confirmed the men here outnumber the women and aren’t very picky.

This is fucking stupid. I’m glad I axed it. In my defense, I was very much trying to emulate the YA shit I’d read so far.

Sidra’s grandmother enters the stage. She’s very old in this draft, but otherwise unchanged.

She was a short and wrinkled old lady with extremely bad vision and an even worse grasp on reality. Or maybe an extremely acute grasp on reality, depending on whether you believed her stories or not.

Sidra changes out of the dress again to go out and help her father prepare the boar, all while sulking.

I didn’t envy Sinead, nor any other bride. Despite what most people thought of me, I wasn’t some poor ugly girl longing for the love of a man and the security of marriage. Did I enjoy the idea of having somebody care for me? Sure. But it wasn’t on my list of priorities. I was still trying to figure out what actually was on that list. Not that it mattered. The prospects for a poor village girl were very finite.

Womp womp.

We get some confusing and barely related stuff about Sidra possibly becoming a royal hunter for the king and also about where the village is located in relation to the Faewilds. She speculates that maybe the fae aren’t real, but the way she and everyone else talks about them makes it pretty obvious that they are? This was supposed to build mystery, I guess.

We skip forward to the wedding and Sidra is moping again.

“How are you feeling?” Father asked and squeezed my shoulder. 

I wasn’t sure why he was doing that. I assumed it had something to do with the wedding and the fact that despite there being fewer women than men here, I was still not asked to dance. Though this didn’t really bother me, so I just shrugged.

“It doesn’t bother me. Anyway I will continue to mope and feel bitter about this thing that doesn’t bother me.” Hunny ...

At least Current!Sidra has the self-awareness to admit she’s sad and lonely.

 [Father’s] marriage to Sinead’s mother was never out of love, more out of necessity. It was easier when you had a big family.

Except for when this “big family” is 3 people who work and 2 people who are just being fed, right? See, I knew back then that having a big family helps when you have a farm, but I also needed to make Sidra Special so Sinéad had to sit on her ass to highlight how pretty and feminine she was or whatnot.

Bleh.

They talk a bit about Sidra’s mother, who passed away five years ago, and Sidra reminisces about how she used to tell amazing stories. It’s all very ... whatever, and serves only to make this point for the hundredth time:

I wasn’t like Mother. I wasn’t full of life and spirit like her. I wasn’t loved and respected by the entire village like her. I was just her disappointing child whose existence they’d rather forget except when they wanted something killed.

Right after this there’s a really abrupt scene transition. Nothing about the wedding coming to an end, nothing about her going to bed, it’s just ... some while later?

Sidra’s father comes back home from ??? and tells Sidra he saw a stag somewhere, but it was hours ago so she better get a move on.

I’m not sure what either of them thinks this will accomplish? Like ... what is she gonna do with it when she kills it ... Carry it home? On her little boney ass? Hmm? I guess I didn’t think of that because I had meta knowledge that she wouldn’t get it home either way, so who cares about logic, right?

Sidra kills two rabbits while stalking the deer, and despite telling us earlier that she doesn’t venture far away from human civilization and the boar hunting being the farthest she’d been and that she wouldn’t go this far alone, she has no issue dwelling very deep into the forest this time.

Like. Henlo? Can we have one logic please and thanks you? Granted, she keeps stopping every now and then to Feel Things Out, but this really goes against how careful she was before and at no point do we get an explanation to her sudden boldness. Plot reasons, I guess.

She nearly stumbles into fae territories and finally decides to head back, except when she starts returning, she sees the stag she’s been tracking. It’s abnormally huge and has a “dark brown” coat that she finds odd, but of course she’s too stupid to connect the dots.

She sneaks up on it and honestly? This chapter ending still slaps.

A scream of pain left the creature and I saw it topple. But though my arrow hit a deer, a man fell to the ground.

DUN DUN DUN.

And yeah, the ACOTAR roots rear their ugly heads again. I liked the idea of the protagonist shooting a fae disguised as an animal, but I decided to cut out the middleman and just have her obliterate Val right in chapter one. Don’t worry, he doesn’t die.

#retrospective #my writing

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 73-75

When I die, I want S*JM to lower my iron coffin so she can let me down one last time.

We open up with Manon making a run for it , revealing Alien gave her the Wyrdkeys before confronting Maeve.

Elide stirred, at last coming to, just as they were nearly out of hearing range. She began thrashing, and Manon dumped her behind a dune, gripping the back of her neck so tightly Elide stilled at the iron nails piercing her skin.

I mean yeah, Elide, what the fuck do you want Manon to do about it? Have you all die rather than letting Alien be captured and the rest of you get away with the Wyrdkeys? God, I think I’ll have to disown Elide at this point, she’s been reduced to nothing more than a tool to prop Alien up.

No one healed [Aelin’s] ravaged back, barely more than a bloody slab of meat, as they guided her into the iron box. Made her lie upon her wounds.

Yeaaaaaaaah, with the iron coffin blocking all of her magic, she’s gonna be dead come the end of the day. There’s no way she’s surviving the journey back to Maeve’s place after being whipped hundreds of times, her ass is grass.

Maeve disowns Lorcan for betraying her and peaces out. You go, Maeve, even if you didn’t actually get the Wyrdkeys, you’ve been more badass and intimidating in two chapters than Alien was in an entire series.

A roar grumbled on the horizon. Abraxos.

MY BABY DRAGON BOY!!!!! HE’S SAFE AND ALIVE!!!!!!!!

The chapter ends after Maeve leaves with Alien trapped in the iron coffin. A satisfying conclusion, indeed. Next!

Thunderous, swift steps. Then a hand gripping [Lorcan’s] hair, yanking back his head as a dagger settled along his throat. As Rowan’s face, calm with lethal wrath, appeared in his vision. “Where is Aelin.”

After this, Rowboat calls Alien his wife and Lorcan cries for some reason??? He hates Rowboat and Alien, why would he feel sorry for them??

The rest of the gang rolls up to the party to discover Alien is missing. Oh no, do you see it coming over the horizon? It’s a shit load of Alien splooging!

Rowan breathed, “Aelin would die to forge the new Lock to seal the keys into the gate—to banish Erawan. But no one would know. No one but us. Not while you wore her skin for the rest of your life.” Aedion dragged a hand through his blood-caked hair. “But any offspring with Rowan wouldn’t look anything like—” Lysandra’s face was pleading. “You would fix that, Aedion. With me.”

....Wow.

I mean really. Wow. That was Alien’s plan. To force Lysandra to abandon her identity forever to become Alien 2.0, and for Assdion to be forced to have children with Lysandra to keep up the lie. All without asking any of her friends for their consent in this plan.

She really is an awful person. There is no defending this shitty behavior. Literally nothing you say about her will change my mind; Alien is the worst YA main character I’ve ever had the displeasure of reading about. She can eat shit for all I care about.

Aedion flinched as if he’d been struck. “And when were you going to reveal this? Before or after I thought I was taking my gods-damned cousin to bed for whatever reason you concocted?”

I mean yeah, I don’t blame him for getting pissed! This is Alien basically dictating his entire life and role to him and he gets no say in this. What utter bullshit!

Everyone gets all pissy and stomps away from each other but I don’t care, Manon POV and the 13 are alive!!!!!!

Asterin was alive. The Thirteen were alive. And it was joy in Manon’s heart—joy, she realized, as she beheld those smiling faces and smiled back.

PROTECT MANON AND HER 13!!!! THEY DESERVE THE WORLD!!!!

Asterin brushed a hand over Elide’s hair as the girl wept into her shoulder.

Lowkey ship? Either way, girls supporting girls is so precious I love this unghhhhh it’s so pure.....

“What are you going to do?” Asterin breathed, her eyes so bright. Manon looked behind them. To the north. “I am going to find the Crochans. And I am going to raise an army with them. For Aelin Galathynius. And her people. And for ours.”

Not happy Manon is lowkey gushing for Alien rn but she’s also looking out for her own kind, so I’ll accept it.

Everyone angsts over Alien and how selfless and noble she was to give her life up for theirs, blah blah blah, whatever. Manon gives the keys to Dorito and the chapter ends.

This is it. The last chapter. Holy shit we’re almost done with this flaming turd!

Rowan had married Aelin before dawn barely two days ago. Aedion and Lysandra had been the only witnesses as they’d awoken the bleary-eyed captain, who married them quickly and quietly and signed a vow of secrecy.

I love how this is only revealed now because the plot demanded it, rather than having it happen beforehand so it didn’t seem so out of place. I’m smelling something..... begins with ‘a’ and ends with ‘ss pull’.

[Rowan]’d leapt in front of [Aelin] at Skull’s Bay knowing [they were mates], deep down. Knowing mates aware of the bond could not bear to harm each other

Love how SJM lowkey realized “Oh shit, mates can’t harm each other and I had Rowboat and Alien physically abuse one another in the third book! Eh, they have to be aware of it to not abuse one another, so that makes it okay!” Very classy, SJM.

Aelin had known, though. That he was her mate. And she had not pushed it, or demanded he face it, because she loved him, and he knew she’d rather carve out her own heart than cause him pain or distress. His Fireheart.

Footage not found. Also, I can’t even bring myself to find the “special nicknames for each other” trope cute because these two are such raging assholes. I’m glad this book ends with them miserable and separated.

[Aelin]’d tried to tell [Rowan]. Right before the ilken converged. Tried to tell him she’d vomited her guts up on the ship that day not because she was pregnant but because she’d realized she was going to die.

Hmmm, seems quite convenient. Also damn, does SJM have a vomiting fetish or something because Alien pukes her guts up in literally almost every book and that’s like, the only symptom of PTSD SJM ever shows with her characters. Don’t shoot the messenger, I’m just saying.

[Aelin] did not think she’d ever see [Rowan] again. He did not accept that. He would not accept that.

Please spare us the misery of another book of you finding her, Rowboat, literally nobody wants it.

Fight it, [Rowan] willed [Aelin], sending the words down the bond(...). Fight her. I am coming for you. Even if it takes me a thousand years. I will find you, I will find you, I will find you.

So many concepts and quotes I should be getting feels over, but they’re squandered on such asshole characters. Seriously, someone write this but like, with a good ship, I’d read the fuck out of that.

Ansel and the other armies Alien collected roll up also, and a new challenger approaches!

“Who are you,” Rowan ground out. But the young man was now close enough that Rowan could see the color of his eyes. Turquoise—with a core of gold. Aedion breathed as if in a trance, “Galan.” Galan Ashryver, Crown Prince of Wendlyn.

Here’s a guy who showed up in one scene in the third book with no lines and barely any screen time but we’re supposed to be awed at his appearance. Lmfao.

So yeah, because every fucking person in this universe apparently owes Alien a life debt for gracing them with her presence, a billion fucking ships are here to serve her and Assdion and Rowboat cry over how uhmayzing and uber special Alien is and kiss her ass even though she’s not present. I’ll spare you the details.

And the last piece of it … if Chaol Westfall and Nesryn Faliq could rally forces from the southern continent …

Chaol and Nesryn deserve so much better......... I don’t think I can read T0D because I hear my poor Chaol got butchered as well and reading Dorito’s character get murdered in cold blood hurt so much.

Lysandra strolls out shape shifting as Alien. I’d point out that SJM has made it clear shifting exhausts Lysandra so logically she couldn’t keep up the appearance of Alien for long but who cares, the book’s almost over.

Everyone agrees to put aside their fighting and differences to save Alien, because the world can’t survive without her. Gag me with a spoon.

Rowan clasped Aedion’s forearm. “The lines have to hold. Buy us whatever time you can, brother.” Aedion gripped his forearm in return, eyes burning bright.

@ SJM let them hug you fucking coward

Rowan brought [Aelin’s] shirt to his face and breathed in her scent. Felt something stir in him—felt the bond flicker.

You just had a somber moment of all the characters saying goodbye to each other and then you ruin it with Rowboat getting a boner at Alien’s blood shirt holy fucking shiiiiiit no we’re moving on this novel is almost over

Unleashing a cry that set the world trembling, Prince Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius, Consort of the Queen of Terrasen, began the hunt to find his wife.

Who cares, not me!!!!!! Because this piece of shit is over!!!!!!

I’d like to make a well written and neat essay to sum up my thoughts, but really, everything is just Bad. Real Bad. Shitty writing, shitty plot that was just an excuse for huge amounts of porn, and the characters. Holy fucking shit. Never have I wanted to strangle a character as much as I want to strangle Alien. Worst YA protagonist ever, imo.

Now it’s time to take a break after the horrors this book has put me through, and to decide what horrific novel I expose myself to next. Don’t buy SJM novels, kids.

#the worm talks #the worm reads: eos #anti sjm #anti eos #anti tog #ITS DONE IM FREE IM FREE!!!!!!!!