got yelled at by friends today bc i said the bathtub scene in saltburn isn’t that bad and if it were me i’d get out a fun little straw
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A Casual Indictment of Clive Rosfield
Thinking about how Clive swore to kill the one who killed his brother.
Thinking about how he told Cid that once he'd done so, "whatever happens, happens", and how Cid then chided him for being a slave to fate.
Thinking about how, according to the Ultimania, Clive made Joshua the core of his spiritual identity...and how he began training to be his Shield since the tender age of 6.
Thinking about how, when fighting Ultima in the end, he did so as Joshua's Shield, and nearly every exchange he had with Ultima was drawn from Joshua's last words. But when the fight was done...his high idealism of humanity seemed to fade. Because it wasn't his own. It was Joshua's.
...Thinking that the "Logos" presence that Ultima picked up on in the Interdimensional Rift and in Origin was not Clive--it was Joshua. Joshua, who'd picked up the power of creation. Joshua "with my light in your heart" Rosfield, who occupied Clive's being so much that Ultima could not. (In short, Joshua benevolently "stole" Mythos out from under Ultima.)
...Coming to the conclusion that Clive ultimately did fulfill his original vow, coming full circle: To kill the one who killed his brother, and then let whatever happened next, happen.
Which means...if we agree with Cid's perspective, Clive was not free. He did not fight for himself, nor against his fate. He did not try to save himself after Joshua was gone, even when so many others wanted him to. (Irony of ironies, Clive committed what was one of Ultima's chief sins according to his brother: He refused, in the end, to honor the faith and will others had for him to return, even those he most treasured.)
If one person makes their relationship and duty to another person their whole identity, can that person truly be free willed, on a spiritual scale?
No...I don't think they can be.
Free will (I think) demands some sense of inherent worth, independent selfhood/ personhood--a sense of identity that allows for the value of others' input, but does not require them to validate or qualify it.
Whether he triumphs or fails; whether he lives or dies, I would very much like to see Clive fight for himself--to find out who or what he is to himself when not defined by his role or duty to another person.
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And i keep thinking about how Oliver almost never shows himself crying for Felix.
Sometimes we can see a tear... the few times we see him actually crying is after the trip to Prescott and at the grave. Is like he's saying "well, my tears aren't important to the story, let's keep it moving".
Venetia said it, he was sobbing at the funeral. How many other times he cried for him?
We see little tears, but he cried, he sobbed and we don't get to see it.
"I loved him, but I mean... not that much. I promise, it wasn't like that. Actually I hated him, yes, i hated him. That's why I'm crying cause... cause I hated him so much".
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I would love to hear the megatheorem
It's not ready for full publication and won't be for a while tbh, but like, maybe before the end of summer? If I'm being optimistic? It will definitely go up here when it's finished, although probably in parts because it's an absolute beast, currently weighing in at over 25 pages and nearly 13k words.
Here's a sneak peek at the table of contents though 😎⚔💀
Also I'm just now noticing that I have "Empty's as Good as Clean" from the draft version of the poem instead of the published version as a section title, whoops. Pretend that's on purpose. Maybe it's a nod to the like, three hours where we thought @torbooks was speaking to us in code. That sounds like both a regular thing to happen as well as to reference, right?
Some segments have stuff I've pulled in from things I've posted here before but off the top of my head I don't think any of the sections are fully anything I've posted here. That is to say, as the draft currently stands, every section has new analyses in addition to anything pulled in from previous posts, though I'd say most of the sections are things I've haven't posted. I believe the sections that have the most pulled from "old" content are Lyctorhood Lite, Resurrection vs Waking Up, and A Cavalier by Any Other Name, which would all be under my "tlt meta" tag - I'll tag this one for ease of navigation if you want to poke around.
But don't worry, when it's ready, I will make sure everyone is subjected to my theories.
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Fuck it, im going to say it
Shipping tiny with anyone is wild because it just raises questions about how sex would work
Like sticking a tree trunk through a keyhole 💀 instant death from getting dicked down
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What is your least favorite sea creature? 
Oh gosh… that’s a tricky one…
I don’t live near any of the seas, so I don’t have a personal grudge against anything from years of subtle annoyances… Really I can only go off of my own biases based on what I’ve learned about or seen pictures of..
Geez, I really don’t know!!
Currently, I don’t have any sea creatures that I despise or anything, but after some intense thinking (I’m not kidding I took like 10 minutes of pondering) I’ve come up with the two closest options.
Blood worms are awful. They’re a looming threat to bare tootsies in Cape Cod, MA cuz they’re all over the place and are kinda like big ugly saltwater leeches, but I don’t /hate/ them cuz they’re kind of cool and they look really funny when they’re sliding back into their little hidey-holes.
Goblin sharks are uggos, I will not lie. I do not personally see the charm in goblin sharks. I am also not a fan of their jaw-dislocation thing that they do.
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