#so hopefully it's in line with that! she's def younger so hopefully i managed to make her look teen adjacent | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

onelastbreath-writes · 3 years

Text

On Bruce And Texting:

Author’s Note: Hello and welcome, this is my first properly written fic, originally posted to my AO3, and now that I have finally created a writing blog, it’s here as well. Please enjoy!! AO3. Masterlist

Warnings: Hopefully none, its all cute and fluff <3

Summary: Bruce Wayne texts like he's sending correspondences to the Queen, so of course the little monsters he calls children just have to make fun of him! Brats, the lot of them, but he wouldn't have them any other way.

Features: Bruce Wayne/Selina Kyle, all the bats and birds, mentions JL, no crime fighting, only family fluff, jokes and nods to Millennial and GenZ shenanigans.

Word Count: 2.7k

---

Billionaire, genius, tech expert, father of many children, and all around up-to-date-with-just-about-everything type of person he may be, it is also a well-known Fact that Bruce Wayne, the Batman(TM) himself, can’t text to save his life.

Whether it’s due to his Very Proper English Upbringing, his inability to be informal via written correspondences of any type, his indifference, or the fact that it bothers his children so much, Bruce Wayne has not and never will text with anything less than perfect grammar, spelling, and formality. If he has not sent you a proper letter (featuring a dedication, indentation for every paragraph, signature, and post-script when applicable), he did, in fact, not send you that text. Informality is not his Batman Way(TM) according to his children... he’s not too sure what that even means, but it makes his young ones laugh so it’s probably fine?

His oldest children (Richard and Jason) were raised in the time of Change, where computers, internet access, social media, and all things similar were only just being introduced into households en-masse. They were young enough to remember a time without such devices and connectivity (both for very different reasons, of course, but they grew up without the newest technology none-the-less). They could understand his relationship to the digital environment more so than his younger children, but they still tended to poke fun at his ‘texting blunders’ regularly. All his kids somehow ended up as brats. He doesn’t know how this happened. It’s certainly not his fault. He blames the League members, and especially Clark Kent, for their defiant personalities.

His younger children, whom he loves dearly, like to confuse him as much as they possibly can with their slang, egregious spelling errors, and all-around ‘internet humour’. He doesn’t know what ‘wig’ or ‘worm’ or ‘oof’ or anything means. He has no idea what those dances are, or how they relate to the music that seems to always accompany them, and for the love of all that is good, don’t ask him what he thinks of this or that ‘meme’. What even is a ‘meme’, and should he be more concerned about his kids being obsessed with them? He tries, oh my god, does he try to follow the children’s conversations, but they somehow all learned a language he has no idea how to decrypt. His best response to them once they start speaking in tongues is as follows: smile but not too much, listen to child even though he is deeply confused, and pat child on head or shoulder when they are finished and are looking for assurance.

He refuses to be a parent who ignores or tunes out his children, so he always makes sure to put down his work, his crossword, his tools, or whatever else is in his hands when a child searches him out for a conversation. But somehow, despite all the time he spends around them and their strange words, when he gets text from them comprised of abbreviations, acronyms, and completely random words, he goes a little cross eyed. He would never tell anyone, but he keeps a running list on his phone about the things they say that he has had to translate in the past. Spilling tea? Speaking the truth, usually to do with gossip. Wow? Multiple possible meanings: either a video game, or someone saying it (different pronunciation depending on context and who sent the text). Stickbug? A nice little prank with no ulterior motives, just for fun. Something along the lines of “this basic bitch Karen at the grocery store who is a dirty rat-licker and is def an anti-vaxxer just took 45 (forty-five) minutes to decide she didn’t actually want that almond milk. I Stan the cashier who had to put up with her. Rad af dude.” roughly translates to “A rude, middle-aged white woman who wasn’t wearing a mask and doesn’t believe in disease control or vaccinating her children wasted a great deal of an essential worker’s time in the checkout line. The cashier was very professional in their dealings with said customer and should be commended on their actions.”

Given enough time, the internet for searching up new slang words, and occasionally some help from a friend (Alfred, Selina, Lucius, another of his children, etc), Bruce could decode and respond appropriately to most texts. He was quite proud of these achievements, and although he didn’t always like how often his children were on their phones or computers or gaming systems, he was quite proud of how integrated and easily they adapted to the ever-evolving world of electronics. All his kids were gifted in many ways, but their ability to learn, their hunger for knowledge, and their perseverance when exploring new and challenging ideas were always the things that he was most impressed by.

He could do without their comments though. Yes, surprisingly, he did manage to get girlfriends with his type of texting. No, he doesn’t miss the ‘good old days’ when telegraphs were the main form of long-distance correspondence (how old do these brats think he is?!). And yes, he does know what a “tweet” is, and how to “post” on his social media accounts, and what “sliding into your DMs” is (thanks to a frantic search after a WE employee mentioned it near him). The Wayne children, truly whom and what Bruce considers his pride and joy, are cruel little jerks to him sometimes. His hoard of parenting books fails to mention what one should do when their children gang up on them. Bullying is covered of course, but he can’t really talk to a teacher or his guardian about how his second son calls him an idiot sandwich, or that his third son regularly tries to get him to do something “For The Vine”. His oldest and youngest boys are only slightly better in the bullying him department; Richard and his puppy dog eyes when he wants to do something dangerous or not-Alfred-approved, and Damian and his growing collection of pets because “Mother never let me have them, and I am deprived, and don’t you love me Father?”.

His only good child is his beautiful daughter Cassandra, the flower of the Wayne clan. She gives him hugs, and pats his hands, and can sit with him and just enjoy the quiet and stillness when his other children are not around. Her language skills are improving by leaps and bounds every day, and her heart and spirit are unparalleled, but her main method of communication is in her movements. Her hands, her posture, her dancing; Bruce couldn’t think of a more graceful, fluid, powerful person if the world depended on it. His amazing little girl doesn't bully him (and if she ever does, he probably deserves it, he trusts her), so he turns to her most of all when it comes to communicating with someone else. She doesn’t let him send anything that is “sketchy” or “wrong words, bad meaning, Dad”. He would give the world to his children, but for Cassandra, he would destroy it and build her an entirely new one.

Social media, especially with his terrible children all having accounts dedicated to making him look like a simpleton, was another rocky terrain he had to navigate on the regular. He had professionals in place at WE to run the company’s many accounts, paid top dollar to help appeal and relate to the masses, but he mostly had to manage his personal accounts himself. And so, @TheRealBruceWayne was one of the greatest struggles in his adult life. Why can’t he just retweet every post from @WE_Offical and leave it at that? People should only want to know about what’s new with the company. What do you mean they want to know more about our family and private lives? That’s unnecessary, and not important to the running of the company, right? Right? Why are you laughing?!

Luckily, most people in his life aren’t so intimately aware of his struggles. He can act and lie all he wants about being “hip” and “woke” and whatever else the kids are saying these days when he’s with the JL or in board meeting intermissions, networking with his associates. The Batman knows all and sees all, Green Lantern, of course he understands how “Tiktok” works. The Batman is a robot without a funny bone in his body, Green Arrow, but I did witness him sigh and say “same” when he knocked his cup of coffee over while on monitor duty once. No matter how badly his darling children call him out, the Justice League would be so much worse. So, it’s one of his most importantly guarded secrets... even more so than his secret identity at this point. Being unmasked in front of every Gotham rogue would be less detrimental to him than his “friends” learning of his utter ineptitude in staying on top of the younger generations’ lingo.

When questioned why the League doesn’t have a group chat or a forum or anything that they can use to contact each other outside of world ending matters and communicator (”because we’re friends, Batman! Ma and Pa Kent would love to have everyone over for a barbecue!”), the person who dared even mention texting isn’t even given a verbal response. They are just glared at, silently, often for several uninterrupted minutes, frozen in place only able to breathe shallowly in fear of setting off the Bat. “You know why” his glare says, “I’ll eat you, your family, and everything you have ever held dear” the younger members hear. No one makes the mistake of asking about it twice.

Outside of his children and Alfred, and his small circle of true friends involved in all aspects of his life, there is only one more person Bruce allows to know of his Darkest Secret. Selina. Someone most people would recommend he not be involved with. Catwoman: accomplished thief, distraction, chaos-incarnate most nights, and his significant other. Sharp as a whip (ha) and crafty like no one’s business; he is head-over-heels. On again/Off again and all over the place their long romance has been, but no one has ever challenged him, intrigued him, like this clever, beautiful, amazing woman has. He’s brought his partners around his children before, both for their judgement, and for their worst behaviours to vet out any “unworthy” suitors. He trusts them explicitly to tell him the truth about those he allows into the manor; were they rude about Bruce wanting to have group outings, did they say something about Bruce’s money, did they get angry or shout or make anyone uncomfortable while they were here? If his children even looked slightly unhappy with someone he brought them to meet, that person would not be invited back. Children, he finds, have the best sight when meeting people; no motives other than finding safety and love, no fear of consequences from speaking honestly...

Selina, or Catwoman, as they had known her first, was someone all of his kids liked without issue right off the bat. She would make puns and play word games with Richard, his first Robin, tiny, still working on his English, able to connect with him over their acrobatic abilities. His second Robin, Jason, skittish and feisty as an alley cat, knew of Catwoman and her daring escapades long before Bruce found him. The young boy had a few heroes, and no one (not even Wonder Woman) could compare to the incredible burglar who bought food and jackets and medicine for the street kids in Crime Alley. She was saintly in his eyes, and to this day, Bruce was still working on convincing Jason he was good enough for Selina. Tim and Cass and Stephanie (basically another daughter to Bruce, she spends so much time with the family) all joined the Wayne clan around the same time and officially met Selina as a friend and partner of his, and in the good graces of his first two sons. Selina, in all her nightly business, and many travels and acquaintances, had met the three independently, helping Tim get home safely back to Drake Manor when he escaped to photograph Batman and Robin in the dank darkness of Gotham when he was just a young boy, spending some time with Cassandra when her despicable father left her alone long enough to recover from his rough treatment, showing her the first scraps of kindness in her short life, and watching over and protecting Stephanie as she followed and sabotaged her father Cluemaster and his criminal activities. There was no need to win them over once they met her civilian identity, she had already gained their favour and acceptance, and they were happy to have her near their new family. Damian, his youngest, his biological son, took the longest to warm up to Selina. He would never fault his little boy for fighting so hard against a woman that was not his birth mother, especially after all the manipulation and cruelty dealt to him by Talia for the first decade of his life. But as he began to learn about his father, these people in his father’s life, and this woman that was Not His Mother but “still okay, I guess”, he grew to see her as acceptable. Her cats definitely helped, he’d say, no one with cats that loyal and happy can be a bad person.

Selina, the love of his life, he’d admit quietly to himself, was also a dirty traitor and in cahoots with his terrible children. She would say his texting skills were “sweet” and “very gentlemanly” when she was asked by anyone outside the family, and privately to him she would say she thought they were “adorable” and “please don’t ever change, Bruce, I like it.” However, nothing seemed to bring her more joy than his children sending her texts and “Snaps” and “memes” about him to her. Sometimes it was screenshots of the family group chat that they forced him to join, where he would post “To whom it may concern...” and “In regards to...” when he needed to reach all his delinquents in a timely manner. Sometimes it was video clips of him staring at his phone intently, then typing something on his laptop, then him reading and nodding along, and then finally going back and responding to the text he received with a small, pleased smile. And sometimes, when he got too injured or was too incapacitated to text coherently, he’d have his nearest able child transcribe his text to her. Depending on who was texting her for Bruce, she could expect many different things. From Dick, she’d get lots of shorthand and silly emojis, and many, many, winky and crying/laughing faces in brackets depending on what Bruce had made him type. Jason, bless him, used proper English most of the time, but would never write a single word of Bruce’s soliloquy to her, instead she enjoyed the TL;DR version: “hurt again, missing you, come home soon, blah blah blah, sappy gross words here, love you”. Tim would allow speech recognition to run on Bruce’s phone, and just let it go until the man passed out. Stephanie, the little chaos child, would film it and send it to her, including all her muffled laughter and shaky camera shots of Bruce emoting with his available undamaged limbs. Cass, still more versed in physicality and emotive movement, would interpret Bruce’s text into mostly emojis, hearts and happy faces and animals, but would include photos, and phrases that she found important enough to type out for Selina. Damian, forever his Father’s son in any way possible, texts very formally, referring to her or his siblings Bruce mentions by last name only, and lots of “Father requests me to tell you...” and “Kyle, know that Father...”. She adores these kids, and once Bruce recovers enough to text her himself, or she gets back to the Manor, they get to laugh about whatever she was sent this time.

So, while it’s true that Bruce couldn’t text his way out of a wet paper bag, and his kids are sometimes brats about it, there’s probably a lot of different reasons he doesn’t spend too much time trying to improve his skills. Whether it’s the smiles of his children, the giggles of his significant other, or the warm feeling in his chest when he sees all his important people bonding over him, well, in the end, who’s to say?

#batman #batfam #bruce/selina #batcat #bruce wayne #selina kyle #bruce x selina

9 notes · View notes

luckycheesefoodie321 · 6 years

Text

Look, I love Shi Miao...(spoilers, long post)

And I totally understand why she felt the way she felt towards the end of the show and why things escalated the way they did. The show was actually addressing how dangerous Shi Fen and Shi Miao’s codependency could be if allowed to continue...Fen had a tendency to decide things on his own, keep his own emotions and turmoils and thoughts locked away and keep Miao in a bubble of safety that ultimately didn’t keep her safe or happy. Maybe when she was younger, there was a need to protect her from the harsher truths of their situation, but she’s old enough to understand why certain decisions must be made and definitely old enough to be consulted and participate in making those decisions, and Shi Fen did wrong by her in this way. That reward was just the tipping point in realising how much he kept from her, and it’s totally not cool to think you’re being recognised for your efforts, but this recognition is conditional in that “you’ve done well, despite being poor” and with a girl who has struggled throughout to prove herself and succeed, this is a shitty prize to be given...

ALL THAT SAID, and here are where some inconsistencies show...this shit I do NOT agree with: (HOPEFULLY CUTS OFF HERE)

Valid. Shi Miao reeeally doesn’t understand what her brother has done for her, what he’s had to deal with (e.g. finding his dad beat up bc of debt collectors on NEW YEARS EVE), also being labelled as “poor” and not getting things he wants, having to mature quicker than he should have to given their unstable household and alcoholic father while all the while being treated kinda shitty by his teachers who underestimate him and don’t believe in him friggen all of the time even when he’s genuinely serious!

AND THEN THIS BIT UGH MAH LORD WTF. WHAT DO YOU EVEN MEAN SHI MIAO??? He did this to you??? He told you when y’all were KIDS to stay with your dad. Ok sure. For one, he was a confused and distraught kid who just didn’t want his family to break apart any more than it already had! He did his fucking best to raise you when there was no real parental presence in the household. While still a kid himself. Like so many times throughout the show, people would look at him as Shi Miao’s guardian (they even outright state it during the teachers meeting) and his own father asked him what he should do about the debt and he has to REMIND THESE DUMBASS ADULTS THAT HE’S STILL BASICALLY A KID TRYING TO STRUGGLE ALONG AND FIGURE OUT HIS LIFE!!!

Biiiiiiish whut. Then why didn’t you go find your mom and her rich friggen husband??? Like idk why she decided to declare Fen the root of all evil when she’s actually had a decent life despite their troubles and also I’m sorry Shi Miao, did I IMAGINE those happy, previous episodes??? Did I fake those sweet brother-sister moments??? WAS IT A MALFUNCTION WHEN YOU AGREED TO CHERISH EACH OTHER MORE???? Idk how she managed to forget all that stuff in this hot rage fit she’s throwing and only remembered it while wearing that head massager which she thought was a memory eraser...

Also Shi Fen’s face. He is 1000% done with Shi Miao’s shit. He loves her and possibly more than she loves him and wants to take care of her and keep her safe, and feels justified in his actions because of this mentality, but he absolutely despised the fact that they’re fighting...and he mostly he just looks scared and angry that she’s acting this way and knows that to some degree, he’s at fault. But like her, he’s stubborn and doesn’t know how to resolve any of what she’s talking about.

And then just look at Wan Sui and Kai Xin just agonising in the background while watching the siblings fight. They friggen hate this too but can’t do anything about it. But even as they follow Shi Fen, they look back at Shi Miao because they know she must hate this and feel so hurt participating in such a horrible exchange with the person she loves most in the world.

And that face says it all. Indignation. Anger. Hurt. Confusion. And a touch of regret. She doesn’t want him to walk away but she doesn’t want him to stick around either.

They both have super valid arguments and I defs see where Shi Miao is coming from but goddamn do I DESPISE this line of thinking and it just makes for some weird in-continuities because the whole bit where Kai Xin and Miao Miao are acting as messengers between the Shi Siblings, she actively gives a more focused, and rational reasoning for her feelings. Here it’s just like “I’M BLAMING YOU BECAUSE YOURE THE CLOSEST AND YOU OWE ME EVERYTHING”...

82 notes · View notes

randomnameless · 6 years

Text

Final chapter - Chalphy to Edda to Dozel !

Seliph starts to conquer the various duchies opposing him, faces the Great Wall (tm) and ends up killing an old man.

But who will inherit the duchy?

Who cares!

(given how the Edda part was too short, i added Dozel)

AND SO,

After years of fighting, Johalva returns home and meets his last brother.

Finally Seliph finishes the Dozel story.

Again, Who cares?

We finally learn the truth about Julia!

and we all say a bif F to Lewyn

The Great Wall (tm) of Edda! Quite frankly, this part was annoying. Crusader or not, when Ced is targeted by a sleep staff, he sleeps.

maybe this wall was where Kaga thought “what if i make Staff Emblem 776 next?”

He has hard feelings even if he’s asleep! Granted, he didn’t die. Lucky him! And sorry for you, Voltz’s ripoff.

Prince Shanan isn’t being receptive. Scold him Patty! Is this a way to talk to your wife?!

SHE MADE A PIE HERE IT IS SUMIA HAD BEEN TAKING NOTES FROM PATTY’S HANDBOOK - kidding, it’s adorable but i agree with Shanan here.

Light Touch? We’re always needing gold Patty! Go and steal those fools, with your famous wind sword!

Now, he is only worried about your safety, even if he doesn’t know how to show it. he’s trying to look cool (tm) as if he was 12.

Shanan swallows his pride - he loves her (meals)!

Daw :)

what the flying fuck did you put in this Patty??

DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU’RE TALKING TO??

Shanan wants to kill people, it’s a side effect from Patty’s lunch. Did she put some berserk powder in it?

Well, he’s completely stoned

This is so evil, i love it but don’t forget, Loptyr goon, that you are too, a mortal.

Hopefully Shanan managed to break free from the berserk pie, so Leif kills an old man instead. GG Leif? Why are you talking about damnation dude, did you know you were serving under Loptyr or were you feeling bad because you were ruling over Edda when it’s kind of common knowledge that Claude was murdered by the Loptyrians?

Julius doesn’t give a fig

So maybe Claude’d be happy that his land is now safe, but Claude DID NOT gave his life for Siggy’s cause!

He was branded a traitor because he knew too much from the Blaggi Tower - not because he was a friend of Siggy! Claude and Siggy bonded because they were both branded traitors ; but under no circumstances Claude was branded a traitor because of Siggy!

Honestly Seliph, not everyone died because of Siggy!

I made a post about it earlier

Giving crap advices #1 : look after them from now on, and completely ignore Lene and Cairpre who have Blaggi blood, and their children. I’m sure it won’t bring catastrophes.

Hopefully no one can look at that screen !

Ooh! If Brian stayed in the kitchen in the castle it’d have been a pain to seize it, OTOH, by charging on Chalphy, he is more dangerous due to his high mobility and stupid stats. Our useless units (Lester) can’t survive a fight with Duke Brian.

Legendary? So that means that the peons we’ve been killing in Isaach, who were with Danan, weren’t Dozel’s finest soldiers but mere peons?

Diarmuid is the son of the man who killed Langbalt, you had no chance.

He is the one and only Dozel slayer! Granted, here, he won’t be killing Brian (because he can’t)

Murder it was, and yes, at least two generations of Dozels were killed by Chalphians “wait i’m not from chalphy i’m leif from leonster” “you’re from chalphy”

The sass! Brian doesn’t call him a traitor though, but a moron! Maybe he still sees him as family, even if he turned against his bro and his dad. It’s kind of wholesome, in a way.

Not the people of Dozel Johalva. But look, he swears to look after his Duchy! yay?

Now Brian is mad, because Johalve mentioned the people? Is it a case where Brian thinks he has the HW so the people must be behind him as the Crusader, and Johalva is spouting nonsense, or Brian being mad because Johalva completely writes him off the future Dozel scenario, meaning that he wants to fight?

You made your big bro mad - honestly, idk if it was on purpose or not, but by his sheer class, Brian is stronger than his siblings and can wreck them without his HW.

Hopefully Ced finished to sleep and uses his magic to kill him. If it weren’t for him though... I wonder how you kill him in a sub only run. He has so much def, Seliph, Ares and Shanan can make the deal?

:’(

This line makes me so sad. Wrong about what? Fighting for the Empire? Why were you even fighting, did you even know what was going on? Did you agree with your dad’s policies in Isaach?

We will never know, and we’re not supposed to give a fig.

Farewell Brian.

i’ve seen this before

stop reusins your friend’s quotes damn it!

“there is a red castle over there, i’m sure we have to seize it somehow. It’s near!”

???

I kept on seeing this all around, but did Quan in FE4 ever mentioned that he wanted to unify the peninsula?

“his GRAND vision” damn it stop putting your words in Leif’s mouth Finn!

Quan’s GRAND vision was most likely to unify the peninsula but to get rid of every Thracian from it first.

“i’ll follow you even in maps were we can’t see a thing!”

Burn in hell - i didn’t hate anyone in FE4 before playing the game but now i do - hell even Chagall is better

yes, let’s play blame the dead. Seliph has had enough of his rant, and wants to continue to listen to his story.

and i thought F!Lewyn said it earlier that the gods were the dragons?

“I can’t say for sure” yes of course :) - but if there is one thing that’s interesting about this character it’s this line “our land’ misery was caused by the power of the dragonkin”

Without HB would Langbalt not be an ass or something? i don’t think so.

Bantu traveled a lot in his younger days, he went to another world! His recollection of the journey must be one of Tiki’s favourite stories.

Naga who? And what scripture? The Blaggi bible?

Bantu = Salamand? what shape did you take, Forseti?

Just like the covenant Erik of Laus wanted to make with Hector and Eliwood!

blood rites, yes. At least it’s not as hardcore as bathing naked in a pool of blood but...

F!Lewyn is upset that Seliph isn’t into blood rites unlike his ancestor Baldur.

“humble” well they managed to survive that far, against people who could magic unlike them! So they were pretty badass!

I wonder if Blaggi was disappointed when he saw the staff - until he learnt what was its power

Sadly, not all of them.

Fell power? Here again, being judgmental when you shouldn’t. Granted, we don’t know what was Loptyr, but in this verse, and at that time, the Earth Dragons aren’t reviled as being evil; heck, Medeus is a pretty chill guy right now.

Heim used to be a priest then, but Blaggi founded the church?

OH MY GOD

MAYBE THIS IS THE REASON WHY AZMUR WANTED A MAJOR NAGA ON THE THRONE BACK IN GEN1?

IS THIS WHY BARHARA IS THE RULING HOUSE IN JUGDRAL?

I WONDER WHO THAT IS

oh wait, F!Lewyn told us back in the prologue that it was you Seliph! Remember?

THREE?? WAIT SHE MENTION JULIUS AND AN USELESS CHARACTER IN THE LATEST CHAPTER COULD IT BE

IT MUST BE THAT USELESS CHARACTER

OMG OMG OMG

JULIA IS A PRINCESS???

And how dare you claim you learnt it recently, you spent 6 years with her, when everyone heard about Princess Julia missing, you found a kid clothed with royal clothes in the middle of nowhere, who had the same name as the missing princess, and you didn’t make the link?

F!Lewyn “i was expecting Tahra to fall” can’t fool anyone

LIAR

if it was really your reaction then you would NOT have sent her in Isaach WITHOUT any weapons, not let her out of your sight for even a millisecond, knowing well that without her Judgral is DOOMED

or maybe, if he really learnt it recently he’s all “welp i treated like lester when she was actually important^^”

oh, because if she wasn’t your sister you wouldn’t need to rescue her?!

FE5!Leif wants to have some words with you two

If she isn’t a plot device i don’t what Julia is

#FE4 run #FE4 #apologies for all the capslock #but this is just frigging dumb #F!Lewyn not knowing who Julia is is just so stupid #or maybe he truly doesn't know but then i can't treat him as a tactician #he's even worse than Manfroy 'i won't kill julia' 's blunder #and fig him to 11 with his comment on Dozels #you don't know a thing #i hope Naga blasted him into oblivion when he returned to archanea #or turned him into a pile of duma-goo #I felt bad for Brian and for the old guy in Edda #at least Johalva managed to talk to his bro #poor guy #he tries to do what's best #and F!Lewyn calls him a disgrace #Julia's identity is the biggest plothole of the Jugdral Saga #at least Leif and Nanna's moment was cute #just like Patty with Shanan who desperatly tries to look cool

6 notes · View notes

fakesurprise · 7 years

Text

Bends in the Road

I stand, manage something like a polite nod to the old woman. Noah has already stood and is on his way to the front door, and Wilbur stands as well. He thanks her for her information and we walk outside.

Wilbur holds up a scone he palmed and crumples it between his fingers, staring at the falling pieces of bread.

I eye the bread, then him. “Wil?”

“Nothing. Something. I know I missed something important in there, but I don’t know what it was.”

“She pushed at us. With Bob, Alvin,” Noah offers up. “She didn’t have to tell us that much.”

I glance about; no one is outside at the McTavishes. The front yard is large, recently mowed. There is a carport with a small school bus parked under it and two jeeps, and the sound of wood being chopped behind the house. I move closer to Noah, gesturing Wilbur to the other side. “Noah. It’s just us. You can talk,” I say as gently as I know how to.

He still flushes; this close it’s obvious with the shade of his ears if nothing else. “Sorry.”

“Noah,” Wilbur says dryly.

“Sorr – I –.” Noah licks his lips. “She was pushing at us. With knowledge she thought would would. My appearance. Wilbur being black. But she left out Wilbur’s weight except obliquely, and didn't touch on you at all?”

“I do pass for normal.” Noah just blinks a few times. “Okay. How don’t I?”

“Anya –.” I’m familiar enough to know he’s biting the inside of his bottom lip.

“Noah.”

“You move stiffly. Not all the time. You’re almost as thin as me, and I’m – thin. Too pale, with lines of pain on your face? If someone notices, they’d notice?”

“And you think Edith would,” I say.

He lets out a relieved breath and nods. “It was like how she went nice, to not nice, and back? As if being pushed and pulled herself?”

“The Outsider.” Wilbur glances back at the house. “It might be more skilled than we thought, or people are fighting its influence in strange ways.”

“My turn.” I turn back to the house. Pause. “No pain. Jennifer Smith was in pain. Edith is in her late seventies, but I’m getting no pain from at all.”

“I’m starting to think we should have no to the food,” Wilbur says.

“I didn’t know you knew how to do that,” I say.

He doesn’t return the grin. “There is magic in cooking. There could be more in the act of eating.”

“Like fairies?” Noah asks.

Wilbur nods. “Eat the food, stay with them. It never made sense that you’d eat food fairies made and stay with them, but maybe it was never about fairies at all. It might not be that, but for her to be that old and you sensing no pain from just age – it’s at least odd.”

I’d make a joke, but Wilbur is a magician. They make connections. “We talk to the McTavishes. Hopefully they can connect some dots together.”

The other two follow me. Noah has his camera up, Wilbur slips into his role as we walk around the house. Two young man chopping wood. One is our age, the other about fifteen. I don’t recognize either, so I imagine they go to school in Appleford. Brothers, at a guess. The older brother has a rough, rugged look. The younger brother looks timid and confused, mouth in a thin line, eyes wide as he stares past me at Noah and Wilbur.

The older brother is watching all three of us, his expression stunned for a moment before he recovers. He sets the axe down and walks over, gesturing for his brother to get behind him. “Can I help you?” he says in the kind of country drawl you only get in bad movies.

“You can start by talking,” I snap.

He starts, looks down at me thoughtfully. “We don’t get visitors here, and definitely not those with decent-quality cameras. Interesting cameraman you’ve got, making sure people watch the camera?”

“Among other things. I’m Anya. The cameraman is Noah, that’s Wilbur.”

“Mark. My brother Paul.” Paul says nothing. “If you’re looking for permission to film things, da is going to say no. If you want us in whatever you’re filming, I’m gonna say a lot more than no.”

“You haven’t even asked what kind of video we’re filming.”

“Don’t know. Won’t care.” Mark McTavish shrugs. “Worst case scenario would get us famous. There’s nothing in the world that would make fame worth its cost.”

Behind him, his younger brother twitches. Not talking yet, but from his scowl he definitely doesn’t agree.

“We –” I begin.

Mark ignores me, turning his attention to Noah. “What resolution do you shoot in? What software do you use, who does the editing and how do you plan to handle the audio without a decent boom mike?”

“High def. Free. Me. Dubbing,” Noah says softly.

“So you have a Foley artist?”

“No?” Noah offers after a hesitant moment.

“Amateurs. Go make your shit somewhere else,” he says. “You could do silly faces, 720p, hits on YouTube, done.”

“We plan to use Patreon,” Noah responds.

“Plan to? Heh. I’ve done camera work. You don’t hold the camera like someone who knows it. And unless you don’t, I don’t know why the fuck anyone would have you as their camera operator even if you own the equipment and are free. Free wouldn’t be worth having to look at your face every –”

“Mark!” His brother’s voice is a sudden gasp of air behind him.

Mark tenses slightly. “This isn’t about you, Paul. Go inside.”

Paul moves around Mark to stare at us. Noah says nothing. “I – sorry. Mark gets – like this,” Paul mumbles, staring down at the ground.

Noah hasn’t moved. Aram taught him that, and his parents too I think. Words hurt him, but he does his best to make sure they don’t wound.

Wilbur steps forward, moving in front of Noah. “We aren’t here for a fight.”

“Lucky for you then, fat boy.” Mark pulls his brother back by the shoulder, movement swift and sure. “Get lost unless you want to find one.”

Paul stumbles back, still not looking directly at us. Secrets. Sometimes I get tired of them. “You want the truth, then?” I wake my talent up. Just a moment is enough, and even braced the pain from Paul shakes me for a second. Most of it isn’t physical. Mark, on the other hand. “You’re right arm still aches from an accident with an axe four months ago. A month ago, you lied about a trip to the dentist after chipping a tooth on popcorn.”

Paul lets out a sound. Mark stares at me, colour failing from his face. He steps forward.

“I have a talent for sensing pain. If you must seek truth so hard, I can do more than help with it.”

Mark moves. I don’t have to be Noah to see he was going to move.

“I said I had a talent for pain. That’s not just feeling when people are in pain, or pains they’ve experienced.” Mark doubles over, unable to even scream. “It means I can cause pain. Especially when I’m in a bad mood.” I pause as he struggles to breathe. “I’m not even there yet.”

“Anya,” Wilbur says behind me, his presence even larger than he is.

I let my talent relax; Mark McTavish staggers and throws up violently to my left. He shaking and can’t seem to stop. I should probably feel bad for doing this. I don’t. Paul stares wide-eyed at me, mouth agape.

I meet his gaze and he jerks back, lips tight over the largest buck teeth I’ve ever seen, the gap between them enough to give a dentist nightmares. One truth found, at least. “We’re looking to stop weird shit; if you know about any here, we’d like to know.”

“What – what are you?” Paul asks. No longer mumbling, not hiding his teeth.

“Complicated. I hope. Sometimes not.” Mark stands slowly, coughing a little, eyes wide. He doesn’t move toward me, which is good for both of us.

“Becky. Our stepsister. She’s into wicca,” Paul says. “At the cemetery often. Not as weird as me.”

I snort. “Sorry, but you don’t count as weird. Where’s the cemetery?”

“Down the road, past the Truman’s. It’s a good two minute walk, set off the road,” Mark says.

I nod to him, herd back to Noah and Wilbur. We start walking. They’re going to follow us, that much is a given, but we probably have a bit of time before they work it out.

“That was risky,” Wilbur says softly.

“They rumbled Noah. I had to do something.”

“He could have had a gun,” Noah says. “He will next time?”

“Because I used a talent.”

“I don’t think so? You hurt his pride?”

I look over at Noah. “You think Mark might try and shoot me not because I did weird shit, but because I hurt his pride?”

“You act like it’s not all some people have,” he says, soft as usual, but meets my gaze directly.

“Aram teach you that?”

“No.” The no is quiet; I let it be final and just walk. I don’t think Noah means himself. I have no idea if he’s talking about Lia, or even his parents.

#writing #prose #magician series #Bends In The Road #this is a queue; I am not really here

14 notes · View notes