#so thank you vm for trusting me with the request!

[peaceoutofthepieces]

Uh hi! So I know you usually do ship stuff, but I am desperate for some Isaac Henderson angst content. I’ve found a few here and there but most of them aren’t actually super angsty and a lot somehow feel more about the other characters even if they’re meant to be about Isaac. They’re good but nothings really scratched that itch so far. Could you write something using #12 from the angsty dialogue prompts? Or honestly if you’d rather not do that one, any one of the prompts would be great. I’ll leave it up to you what exactly it’s about and who the line is directed at, I just wanna see my fave go through it.

hello!! i'm sorry this took so long! i would like to clarify that i started it ages ago, but it was at less than 1000 words yesterday evening, and then it was finished at 2am last night. (i got so into it i'm currently in the mindset of "that's it, i'm going to try and post at least a fic a week now 😤", but we will see if that actually happens.) so, i hope if nothing else it's sufficiently angsty and not too ooc. you did give me quite a bit of freedom, and it remains unclear if that was a good choice or not 😅 anyway, enjoy!!

12. "Help me."

Post-prom, Isaac felt out of sorts. 

His situation with James and his odd encounter at Elle’s exhibition had been eye-opening, to say the least. Angela Chen’s Ace still resided on his nightstand, though he’d finished reading it two days after lifting it from the library. He couldn’t bring himself to return it just yet; he found himself going back to it at night, rereading sections over again as if they would tell him something new, feeling he was still missing something. And anyway, they were still on summer holidays. The school wouldn’t miss it for now. 

No one seemed to be missing him much, either.

It was becoming more noticeable, this summer break, how he was the odd one out. He’d been aware his friends were essentially coupled off for months now, and Paris had cemented it, but Paris had also kept them stuck together as a group. 

(Plus, most of the Paris trip had been before things had become royally awkward with James, but he was mostly avoiding thinking about all that.)

The situation with Darcy had understandably taken a bit of a priority in the past couple of weeks, but it didn’t explain the shift that had seemed to happen within all his friends since prom. Isaac had figured for a while that Elle would be leaving, and he assumed it was why she and Tao had been attached at the hip. He didn’t begrudge them it, really. He had watched them pine over each other long enough that leaving them this time together felt warranted. Besides, it wasn’t like they were asking Charlie to movie nights recently, either. 

But it also wasn’t likely Charlie was waiting to be asked, these days. He and Nick had seemingly re-entered their honeymoon phase, which was fair given that they finally could be as coupley as they wanted wherever and whenever they wanted. Isaac just found it odd that it seemed to be more since prom than Nick’s coming out, but he was not going to ask about that. It made sense he didn’t want to think about. The intense, somewhat dark cloud that seemed to still hang over Nick around Charlie was more worth questioning, but it was also part of what kept Isaac from encroaching on them recently. 

Everyone seemed to have something going on. His going-ons felt a little unworthy, in comparison. He wasn’t sure if he was feeling shit about himself because he didn’t want to put an extra burden on his friends and it was a bit sad he considered his feelings a burden, or if that was an excuse for not having to talk about it because he didn’t really know how and it was making him feel shit. 

So, yes. Out of sorts. 

Out of sorts and alone, most of the time. 

He was not in the habit of pitying himself, however, and he was not about to start now. So what if he was having some life-defining realisations about himself and he had no one to share them with? He’d coped with life mostly on his own so far and he’d continue to do so. 

And he was coping. Perfectly. 

Kind of. 

Sitting in one of his best friend’s houses, surrounded by their other friends and staring into a book was how he always coped, so this was perfectly normal. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t absorbing the words and everyone seemed louder than usual. He hadn’t been sleeping well. He was tired. That’s all he was feeling. 

Tara tugged at his foot from where she and Darcy were perched on the floor by his armchair. “Isaac, we're gonna play a boardgame. Put the book down and come join us!”

Isaac looked, but Tao and Elle were still wrapped up in each other in the corner and Nick and Charlie were nowhere in sight. He raised an eyebrow at Tara. “We are?”

“Yes! Nick and Charlie are away to get them right now, so come get comfy.”

Darcy snorted. “Good idea, because we could be waiting for a bit.”

Tara slugged her shoulder and Darcy only giggled again. 

“Shouldn't they have passed the honeymoon phase by now?” Isaac asked, lowering his book slightly but not yet closing it. 

“Nick and Charlie?” Tara grinned. “I'm not sure those two will ever come out of it.”

“Well, I can't say I don't understand,” Darcy quipped, leaning in to Tara with a grin. Tara turned towards her, and their smiles melded as they kissed.

Isaac snapped his book closed. “Actually, I think I'll go to the loo while we're waiting.”

No one gave any sign of hearing him, so Isaac slipped quietly out of the room and up to the bathroom. He rolled his eyes at the giggles coming from Charlie's room and didn't pause. Closing the bathroom door behind him, he finally released a sharp breath. He perched himself on the edge of the bath and pulled out his phone.

Instagram was a distraction he did not often indulge in. His follow count was small—only his friends and favourite authors alongside a small cluster of bookstagrammers he'd found to have good taste. He saved a couple of recommendation posts, then began clicking through stories, pausing when he reached James's. 

The story was almost timed out, all of it from last night, seemingly at a party. Isaac had stopped on a video where James appeared to be singing along to the song playing with another boy. In the middle of it, the boy had swooped forward to kiss James on the cheek. 

Isaac stared at James’s delighted expression and something complicated clenched in his chest. He quickly locked the phone and set it beside him, directing his focus to the wall. 

It was good, he rationalised. James was wonderful; he deserved to be going out and having fun, and he deserved, without question, to have a handsome boy having fun with him. Whether they were friends or something more didn't matter, but the something more definitely seemed possible, if not likely. And James deserved someone who could give him that. 

Isaac had not been able to give him that—did not want to give anyone that, could not derive any joy from it, even from the chance of it giving joy to someone else. 

He was not incapable of love. He knew that. When he looked at his family, when he looked at Charlie and Tao and Elle, he was always so full of love he felt he might explode from it. It wasn't romantic, and it wasn't physical, but it was love, in its purest form it seemed, to him, given he did not want anything in return for it but their happiness and their continued place in his life. 

It was love, uncomplicated, unconditional love, and why wouldn't that be enough? 

He never seemed to be enough. 

He always did what he could to be a good son and a good friend, and he had never doubted it until recently. James had been one of those good friends. He still was, as far as Isaac was concerned, but their relationship had undeniably changed. Maybe it was simply in an awkward phase that would pass, but Isaac, at the moment, could not believe it would ever be the same. For a time, James had been something of his best friend—not because Isaac liked him more than Charlie or Tao or Elle, or because he really spent more time with him, but because James was Isaac’s friend in a way they were not. They spent time together, the two of them, and shared interests the two of them, and when they had been together they had not felt the need for any company outside of the two of them. 

But that had not meant the same to James as it had to Isaac, and Isaac could not give him anything more. He understood that his rejection would not be taken without consequence, but he hadn't been prepared to be, in a way, rejected in return. 

Was this all he would ever achieve? Having friends who would always be somewhat distant—who would always have someone closer, someone better—or having someone close who would eventually want that closeness in a way he did not. Before, he'd worried he was not worthy of that want to begin with. Never had he thought it would be his inability to return it that would be the issue. Could he be upset, that it was his not wanting to be too close that lost him all closeness as a result? 

He was alone on an island of his own making. He couldn't blame anyone for leaving him there if he wasn't going to invite them in, could he? 

Was this, then—alone in the bathroom of his best friend's house with his phone locked beside him and tears in his throat—all he was destined for? 

Isaac Island, party of one. 

A knock on the door startled him, and he swore quietly as he knocked his phone onto the tiles. As he picked it up, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and blanched. There were no tears, but his eyes were red and his face was blotchy and the tears were waiting in his throat, they surely would be there if he went back downstairs to—

Another knock.

“One—one minute,” he tried, clearing his throat when his voice cracked. He quickly turned on the tap and ran his hands and wrists under the cool water, but it did nothing to steady his breathing. The thought of his aloneness had choked him, but the thought of returning into company strangled him. It was not his friends’ fault—he refused to make it his friends’ fault—but at the moment, he couldn't bear them all the same. 

He cupped more cold water in his hands and scrubbed it over his face, but it did not shock him out of the spiral of his thoughts. The third knock barely registered over the growing ringing in his ears. 

“Isaac?” Not Charlie, like Isaac had thought. Not Nick either, or Tara, or any of them. “Are you okay? I'd really like to use the loo.”

His island, he thought deliriously, was sinking; he was drowning, and still, he could do nothing but soak his hands under the tap and soak his face in turn and suck in breaths that did not hold enough oxygen. He was drowning, he was sinking, he could not see it but his body felt it and his lungs were going to seize, he was dying—

He cut the knocking off by throwing open the door and gasping, “Help me.”

Isaac had one second to appreciate Tori’s bewildered expression before it turned serious and she took to action. “Isaac? Hey. Look at me.” She set her hands on his shoulders as he wrapped his arms around his middle, still heaving. “I'm assuming you didn't just get diagnosed with asthma,” Tori said, still impossibly calm—perhaps he was actually the sea, he thought, undefinable and raving, and she the island, unravagable. Isaac shook his head. “Alright. I think, then, this is likely a panic attack. Would it help if I get Charlie?”

Isaac shook his head more vigorously. 

To her credit, Tori only considered him for a few seconds, and didn't argue. She guided him back into the bathroom and gently kicked the door closed. “Sit,” she told him. He did, and she crouched in front of him. Immediately, with his knees pulled to his chest and the bath supporting his back, it was better. He was not so adrift. “You're alright. It will pass. I know it's stupid, but you really do just have to focus on breathing.”

She started counting. It was only when she'd repeated the numbers four times that he understood she was telling him how long to breathe in and out for. Then he tried to follow it, and slowly, air felt like it was moving through him regularly again. 

Isaac wiped at his cheek. To his embarrassment, his fingers came away damp. He didn't look at Tori, but he said, “Thank you.” Then, “Sorry.”

She didn't brush off his apology, or tell him to get out now so she could actually use the loo—both of which would have been fair and not unexpected responses. Instead, she turned and sat next to him. She leaned against the bath to his left, a few inches between their shoulders, and stared at the wall quietly with him. 

When his skin stopped vibrating, he tucked his arms around his middle again and breathed out. “How did you know what to do?” he asked. 

She glanced at him and shrugged. “I didn't, really.”

It was all she offered, but it seemed honest. Isaac decided not to push. He was too grateful to care much. 

“Do you want to tell me what it was about?” she asked, softly. 

Isaac looked over at her. She was looking back, unsmiling but not unhappy. She reminded him a lot of Charlie, Isaac had always thought. They seemed similar in ways they likely weren't even aware of. It was both comforting and unnerving. “Do you really want me to?”

Tori shrugged again. “I'd prefer it if you told Charlie or your other friends, because I think that would be more helpful. But I don't think you want to. So you can tell me, if you need to tell someone.”

That was—exactly what Isaac needed, really. He didn't exactly think it should be Tori. They'd known each other a while, and they liked each other well enough, but they weren't friends. Plus, Isaac knew she and Charlie were actually close; it felt weird and unfair to tell her something and then ask her to keep it from him. 

But in this moment, he could not think of a better option, and the mere thought of getting the weight off his chest was a relief. 

“I think I'm going to end up alone,” he said, blunt and ridiculous. Tori, completely fairly, raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “Not because I think I'm unlovable or something like that.” Although that was part of it. “But because—” Could he say the actual words? “—I think I'm asexual, and aromantic, so I don't think I'll ever love love anyone, and I think that means I'll always be a bit alone.”

He could. 

It still seemed sad and pathetic when he said it out loud, maybe even more so, but the act of it—the unretractable reality of it—settled something in him. 

Tori's expression, a little confused but free of judgement, only added to that feeling. “So, you don't feel romantic or sexual attraction,” she said slowly. “At all. Is that what you mean?”

Isaac was vaguely impressed. He nodded. 

“When did you figure this out?”

Isaac took a long, heavy breath. “I think, properly, I started to figure it out in Paris, when I realised this guy liked me and I was trying to figure out if I liked him back? But I think I'd been starting to realise it long before then. I just…hadn't known what to call it, or what it meant.”

Tori, he noticed gratefully, took time to process this before nodding. “And now?”

Isaac blinked. “Now?”

“What do you think it means now?”

Oh. Isaac hadn't expected the question, and he found himself unsure of how to answer. “I think it means I'm always going to be lonely.”

Tori tilted her head. “But you didn't think that before.”

“What?”

“You said you don't think you're unlovable. And I agree. I think Charlie loves you a lot. I think most people would, because you are a very nice person. You didn't think of that as less important because it wasn't romantic before. What changed?”

Changed? Nothing. Everything. They were growing up, and love had more meanings when you grew up, and some of those meanings became less important. He looked at the wall again. “They have other people they love more,” he said softly. 

“And you won't ever have that,” Tori returned, equally soft. Not a barb, not a rebuke, nothing negative at all. Just realising; working through it alongside him. “So you think you won't ever be the most important person to someone.”

Isaac swallowed, unable to answer. Not because he didn't know the answer—because it was yes, it was true, she was right, of course she was—but because it was impossible to admit. 

“I think that's the case for most people,” Tori said, at once blunt and thoughtful. Isaac looked back at her, awaiting an explanation. “Think about it. Even the most in love people usually have children, and then their children are the most important people, or at least equally important. And if they have more than one child, no one of them is the most important, and neither of the parents are the most important to the other. I think, instead of having one supremely important person, most people have a group of important people in their life.”

She looked over at him and continued. “There probably are different levels and different kinds of importance, but I don't think that necessarily means one is worth less than the other.”

Isaac sat, for a moment, and absorbed that. Could it be true? He thought of his family. He was lucky, in that scenario. His parents were kind, were wonderful, and he knew without question that they loved him, and he loved them. Neither one of them, he realised, was more important to him than the other. He had different relationships with them both, but each of their losses would leave an equally sized hole in his heart. 

He knew that probably wasn't the same for most people, but if he could find that one example in his own life so easily, he couldn't deny it was possible in others. 

“I suppose,” Isaac said. “I think I know what you mean. I don't think it's the same, but—I know what you mean.”

Tori did smile, now. A barely there thing, but warm and kind, all the same. “It probably isn't the same. I know me saying I love my brothers equally and neither of them are less important doesn't mean anything for your friends treating you the same as their partners, or even other friends. But I think—every relationship is as important as you make it. And sometimes, people might not know they aren't making it important, if they don't know what's important about it to you.”

“Has important stopped sounding like a real word to you, too?” Isaac asked. 

“About six ‘important’s ago,” Tori agreed. 

Isaac laughed, and his relief grew. Tori's smile also grew, just a tick. 

“You're saying I should just talk to my friends,” Isaac noted, eventually, and Tori's smile grew wry. 

“I did say that at the very beginning, yes.” Isaac laughed again, and she shook her head. “But I am saying you should explain to them. I can't promise you're wrong, or tell you everything will be fine,” she said truthfully. “But I don't think you can assume people can't give you what you need, if you don't tell them what that is and let them try.”

Isaac’s chest tightened again, but it was different to the breathless feeling from before. Instead of hopelessness, it was an anticipatory sort of buzz. There was a sureness that hadn't been there before. 

There was a clatter from outside, and this time it was Charlie's voice that called out. “Isaac! Are you still up here? We have the game set up.”

Isaac looked from the door back to Tori. She gave him another smile and nodded. “Go on. I have really needed to pee for about ten minutes now.”

Isaac laughed, again, and got to his feet. Tori passed his phone up to him, and he thanked her once more. He knew she could tell he meant for everything, and she wouldn't appreciate him making more of it, so he took his leave without another word, leaving her to pee in peace. 

Charlie was hovering at the top of the stairs. His face broke into a smile at Isaac’s appearance. “There you are. You've been up here ages.” His smile drooped slightly as Isaac came closer. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Isaac nodded. “Sorry, I got caught talking to Tori.”

“In the bathroom?” Charlie huffed, bewildered but amused. For a moment Isaac pictured Tori's expression when he'd opened the door to her, and he smiled. 

He only hesitated for a second before saying, “I wanted to talk to all of you about something, actually.”

Immediately, Charlie's expression softened. “Yeah?” When Isaac nodded, Charlie smiled and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, tugging him towards the staircase. “Come on, then. The game can wait.”

#heartstopper #heartstopper fic #isaac henderson #prompts #i actually really enjoyed writing this #i feel like i don't express my love for isaac enough #so this was a good opportunity #so thank you vm for trusting me with the request! #i hope it's at least somewhat what you were looking for <3 #honourable tag for #tori spring #i could imagine no one else when i thought of this scenario/convo #i think any interaction between these two would be a very cool and important thing to have #my fics

[velvetgenshin]

hi!! i hope you're doing alright!! would it be okay to request headcanons for an ideal date w ningguang? thank u vm in advance!! ♡

a/n: tysm for requesting! i love ningguang with my heart and i was so happy when i pulled her one childe's banner! and she is so pretty i can't even- i hope you enjoy it!

genre: fluff

note: reader is genderneutral!

ideal date headcanons w/ ningguang!

ningguang is a busy woman of her own standards, so being with this powerhouse of a woman is an absolute power move form you, congrats

but as busy as ningguang is, she'd always find some free time in her schedule to see you

and in many cases, this also includes dates on her jade chamber, when someone of her assistants picks you up and takes you to the flying chamber, with ningguang already waiting for you

you two simply sit in peace and drink tea, discussing random topics about liyue and maybe even bickering about some people that have been on your mind lately

in fact, ningguang cherishes that free time she gets to spend with you, especially because it keeps her mind off her work for a few minutes or maybe an hour, and she is surrounded by the person she trusts most

ningguang tends to bring you presents, some expensive, some not as expensive as before but still of value, but wouldn't really expect the same coming from you. instead, she actually enjoys your presence and takes that as a gift for her

"i don't think there is anything of the same value that could describe you dear."

while she also uses her free time amidst her schedules to have smaller dates with you, the moment she actually is free and can spare some time with you will also be dedicated to you and you only

you can expect going to the finest restaurants or even have the food delivered to the jade chamber or maybe even just a walk through liyue

while i believe ningguang isn't really a public person and stay outside for too long where she can be seen the entire time, she might also enjoy to walk through yujing terrace with you by her side

ningguang wouldn't spare a single mora to make it perfect for the two of you, especially since it's about you

one time, when you decided to plan out a date for her, she was pleasently surprised and was genuinely happy about your idea, so much, she took it upon herself do to something similar as surprising as your idea had been

this has become a tradition between you two, that from time to time someone plans a random date without the other person having any idea

please take this woman and bake something with her i am begging you

i imagine this to be actually fun with her

or you can make qiankun mora meat together with her, i'd pay to watch this lady bake something for me

while this is only secluded in her dates when the two of you are truly alone, ninggusng enjoys it when you rest your head against her shoulder and drink tea while both of you read books or just talk to each other

ningguang isn't of a cuddler, but definitely enjoys having you close to her, even if it's just holding your hand while she has a book in the other and can glance over to you from time to time

all in all, an ideal date with ningguang is either completely fancy, with her spending mora on the best food and places in town to be alone with you, but she also enjoys having more simpler dates, where the two of you just spent time together without any responsibility or hectic schedules on her mind

ty for requesting!

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #ningguang #ningguang x reader #genshin impact ningguang

[marshmallowatheart]

To All The Boys I've Loved Before (Part 16)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15)

“Okay, what’s going on?” Logan finally asks, hands on the steering wheel and eyes on the road but he’s too well attuned with his surroundings to not notice the giggling kids in the back seat.

“Heather and Darrell are playing cupid,” Veronica remarks, chewing on a piece of liquorice as she twists around in her seat to get a look at the giggling duo.

“Cupidress,” Heather corrects. “Or well you could just go ahead and call me Aphrodite, the goddess of love.”

Logan chuckles, brows perking up, amused, “Alright, Miss Goddess of Love, who are you aiming your arrows at?”

Veronica tilts her head and informs him, “Nope, Cupid’s the one with the bow and arrow," she points directionless at him with her liquorice as he drives. "Aphrodite has a magic girdle.”

His lips curves, remarking, “Chill out Athena, I was talking to Aphrodite here.”

Veronica rolls her eyes, munching away, trying to focus herself on the scenery outside instead of the boy next to her. “Sure, Poseidon, get back to your mixed up mythical references.”

“Sheesh, someone’s testy this morning.”

“Not all of us can sleep through the car ride like Wallace here," she jerks her thumb in the direction of the back seat where Wallace is leaning his head against the window, snoozing away until they reach the zoo. "And I didn't get enough sleep last night."

"Thoughts of me?" He quips, batting his lashes. "Hey, I get it. Sometimes I’m up all night, just thinkin’ about myself.”

She resists the urge to smack his shoulder since he's driving and settles for making him regret his unwanted snark. "Actually I was baking a chocolate cake for us to have for dessert but guess who just cost himself a slice?"

Logan groans, he wants to look at her with pleading eyes but he doesn't want to take his eyes off the road for too many seconds. "C'mon, Veronica, don't I get credit for driving us all there?"

"Nope, you wanted to drive," she mercilessly points out.

"Heather asked me to drive," he retaliates. "Who am I to deny the kid her wish?"

Veronica sneers at the reminder. "I drive perfectly fine, thank you very much and if she had a such a problem she could have rode with Dad and Mrs Fennel."

"No!" Heather objects, almost leaping out of her seat to defend her choices but thankfully has on her seatbelt holding her down. "The whole point is that Dad and Alicia can have some alone time!"

"Oh," Logan lets out, comprehending who her two victims of love were.

"And she said you drive like you're in a NASCAR game," Darrell points out and Heather objects with a loud hey for the treachery. He shrugs, "That's what you get for sticking me with the middle seat."

"Urg!" Veronica huffs. "That happened once! And I thought we were being followed by the E-String Strangler. And maybe you shouldn't get any cake either."

"Who wants a piece of the leaning tower of Pisa anyway?" Heather snarks. "Besides we want ice cream for dessert, not cake."

Veronica lets out a long psshhttt sound and grumbles, "It goes down your throat the same either way."

--vm--

“We’re getting on the bus!” Keith eagerly says, map in hand, ready to go.

“Dad, no," Veronica whines, she's hungry and hot and wants to just sit and eat something - anything - before they start their journey from one end of the zoo to the other.

“It’s only half an hour Veronica. Half the zoo, half an hour," he emphasises like it's a bargain they can't possibly pass up on.

"I've got snacks," Alicia interjects and Veronica's eyes are drawn to the overly big beach bag that Alicia's carrying. "You can have some to tide you over until we can eat," she offers with a smile and Veronica eagerly accepts, looking at her best friend's mother like she's a savour sent from above.

"Sandwiches are life savers," Veronica hums happily, settling on the upper level of the double decker bus with Logan next to her. She admits, it is easier to take the bus but hunger takes precedence over everything else and Veronica's never been more grateful for Mrs Fennel.

Logan chuckles, nodding his head and stares at her adoringly. Yesterday while surfing he'd come to many revelations; one being that he's gonna show Veronica just how real they are. He's come to understand her a lot in their short time together and knows he can't lay out his feelings to her just yet.

She'd been firm in the fact that she doesn't want to date him and doesn't like him but he feels like that's changed - they've changed - in the sense that she does care about him, has fun with him, can be honest with him and maybe all these feelings were always there buried underneath the spells of her letter. And now he's opened the letter - broken the spell - he's seen her bared feelings and he wants to open her heart and see what's in there now.

She's been hurt, she has trust issues and she'd rather leave before she's left. She has all these pre-determined notions in her head and he's hoping he can deconstruct each one and in time she'll come to see him as he sees her.

So he's doing his best, showing her he likes her, showing her she can trust him and showing her that he's there - that he's going to be there. And he can see that she's doing the same even if she doesn't realize it yet.

“Ronica," Heather says, bright eyed as she turns from her seat in front of them. "Make sure to take out some good koala-ty pictures,” she giggles and nudges Darrell, who's looking excitedly at said Koalas and giggles along with her.

“Don’t worry, she’s got the koalafications,” Logan winks, instantly joining in before Veronica can make a snarky remark.

"And if she's underkoalafied, we just have to bear with it," Darrell outright laughs along with Heather, the two thoroughly enjoying themselves the moment they stepped out of their houses.

"So glad I could be of amoosement to you," Veronica remarks, straight-faced and seemingly exasperated. The kids giggle wildly and Logan chuckles, happy that she's not really upset and Veronica obligingly snaps shots of the Koalas hugging the trees and eating leaves.

"Guess what," Wallace leans forward in his seat, his head popping between Logan and Veronica, startling the couple.

"You've finally found where they're stashing the unicorns?" Veronica pipes, hope springing in her eyes.

"It's better than unicorns, Vee," he grins widely, suddenly full of energy unlike his earlier slumberly state.

"Damn, man," Logan chuckles. "You've got it bad."

"You would know," Wallace reproaches, nudging Logan with his shoulder from the back.

Logan peaks at Veronica and she shakes off his look. "Is this about Georgia?" She asks, brow arches, already knowing the answer.

He bobs his head. "She said she can meet me at the zoo. Isn't that great?"

"Ronica," Heather calls out once again. "Look," she says, pointing to an Orangutan swinging on the tree. "It's you!" She bursts out in giggles.

Veronica huffs. "Oh and look at that, you're right there next to me," she sticks out her tongue, unwilling to be defeated by her little sister.

"Who's the eleven year old, again?" Wallace chuckles, shaking his head.

"I'm eleven and a half," Heather points out, firm in the fact that she's not merely eleven anymore.

“Oh, hey, Heather, look it’s you,” Veronica smirks, gesturing to the Tasmanian Devil, a cheeky smug look on her face while Heather gasps.

“I happen to think it’s adorable,” Logan winks, earning Veronica a playfully triumph tongue out from Heather.

--vm--

Heather obsesses over getting a picture with everything. And more so, she obsesses over getting Logan and Veronica to take coupley pictures together whenever she sees coupley things. Like if two animals are being cute together or if there's statues that seem romantic - not that there are many - except maybe for this one particular statue. It's a statue of a sailor, dipping a nurse and kissing her full on the mouth.

Veronica hasn't denied her sister much but this is one of the things she simply cannot do and Heather whines, "C'mon, Ronica, it'll be so romantic! I mean you dragged Logan to the zoo and you can't even give him one kiss?"

Veronica gaps at her little sister. "You dragged Logan to the zoo and I'm not gonna kiss Logan like that here with dad right there! I'm not insane."

Heather concedes the point but she's not happy with it. "Urg, fine, but I still want a picture of you two with the statue. I need proof to send Meg that you actually have a boyfriend."

Veronica sighs, she's been meaning to tell Meg about Logan's new role in her life and now that everyone but Meg knows, she really doesn't have much of a choice.

She's standing next to Logan, their fingers laced with a camera ready smile in front of the statue as Heather snaps a picture and shakes her head, asking them to try another pose.

It takes three more tries before Heather is satisfied with one where they're gazing into each others eyes.

She leaves them be and turns to her father, begging him to let her take one out with him and Alicia.

Keith chokes back a cough while Alicia chuckles, accepting the request. Veronica's just glad that Heather didn't demand they kiss in front of the statue like she'd done with her and Logan.

--vm--

“I am a koalafied match-maker,” Heather brags, puffing out her chest and twirling around like the power of love has given her unreserved energy even though it's the end of the day and everyone else is exhausted.

“Oh, are you now?” Veronica arches her brow, she's holding Logan's hand and they're walking up a nearby park to set up a nice evening picnic. Alicia has prepared a variety of food and kept it in a warmer in the car along with a cooler filled with water and soda. They also have Veronica's homemade chocolate cake for dessert that Veronica's been coaxed into sharing with Logan. And Logan has somewhat been coaxed into getting ice cream for the two kids - three kids including Veronica.

"Mmmhmm," Heather hums, she's smiling wide, proud and again she's got that 'I know something you don't know' look on her face. "Just look at you and Logan.”

Veronica's hand tightens it's hold on Logan's. “Me and Logan?”

Heather notices the look on her sister's face and freezes, decidingly changing her mind from saying anything more because one, Veronica looks stricken and two, she doesn't know if Logan's supposed to know what she knows.

Veronica stares at her little sister, she's got a feeling that she needs to know what Heather knows so she lets go of Logan's hand and dashes after the now running girl. She feels an adrenaline rush hit her because it all makes sense if what she thinks is true, she just doesn't know why her sister would do that to her.

"Heather, get back here," she calls out, she's the star of the soccer team and she's beaten Heather many a times at racing so it's only a matter of time until she catches her.

Logan stays rooted in his spot, deep confusion spreading over his face as he watches the girls get further and further away, everyone else is setting up for their evening picnic and he wonders if he should leave them to it or catch up. The moment Veronica had tightened her grip on his hand, he'd felt the tension right to her fingertips.

Heather is hiding behind a tree, darting back and forth so Veronica can't grab her. "Okay, I was the one that sent out the letters," she admits, hoping her honesty gets her some mercy points with her sister.

“I’m gonna kill you, you little brat," Veronica lunges across and Heather darts away as quick as her small body allows.

“Oh, come on, Ronica, Logan’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you," Heather makes her plea. She can see the difference in sister's life; everyone in Veronica's life let her live in her comfort zone and Logan brought her out of it in a way that didn't seem all that uncomfortable and Heather figures that's a rare thing to have.

“Veronica," Logan calls out, jogging to the girls.

“You didn’t have to send out all five!" Veronica says as she thinks of how messed up everything has gotten with Duncan and how she's now keeping secrets from Meg.

Heather pouts, puppy eyes are out and her head tilts, just like she'd learned from Veronica and she slightly shrugs, “I thought five chances at a boyfriend were better odds.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Logan holds Veronica steady before she could once again dart to her sister and Heather quickly runs behind Logan. “What’s going on?”

“Veronica’s being totally irrational," Heather says, her adrenaline rush catching up to her.

“I’ll show you irrational," Veronica grunts, trying to move away from Logan but he wraps his arms around her and holds her tight against him with a soft but firm, hey - a hey that's reminding her that she's going attack mode on her eleven year old sister.

“She sent out the letters," she tells him, her anger slowly subsiding.

“Oh," he lets out a breath and loosens his hold on he see her face. "Well, you can forgive her since it worked out, right?” He gives her a pointed look.

“I just wanted you to be happy, Veronica," Heather softly admits.

Veronica sighs. “I wasn’t unhappy.”

“But you’re happier with Logan, right?” Heather peaks, still slightly behind Logan but now can visibly see her sister's facial reaction.

“Right," Veronica pats Heather's hair, softly, letting her know that she's forgiven. "But you owe me one."

Logan leans down to Heather when Veronica starts to to walk away, "Hey, kiddo, I owe you one," he winks and Heather brightens, all regret officially thrown out the window.

"You better not hurt her, Lo," Heather warns. "Especially not since you've got the Mars seal of approval."

He chuckles, rubs a hand over her head like Veronica had done. "I don't intend to," he softly says. "Thank you, Heather."

She bobs her head, smiles widely and drags him along to the picnic; she's glad she invited him.

#veronica mars #logan echolls #keith mars #heather mars #heather button #wallace fennel #alicia fennel #darrell fennel #logan x veronica #love #inspired by to all the boys i've loved before #to all the boys i've loved before #part 16 #urg i swear when i was writing this i almost just said screw it you guys #but theres a more development needed to get to thar point #also posted on ao3 #and ffnet #and also im sorry about the zoo inconsistances #ive never been to the san diego zoo #and ive only ever been to the zoo here once #and as i can see from google it's hella different #and i have no idea if the statue with the sailor and the nurse from the zoo or not #but i liked it a lot and kept it in the story #unconditional surrender statue

[tempestshakes01]

3/24/19

Here’s another entry in this embarrassing public online diary (I love it.):

Health: 4/10 

The weird cough is still lingering, but now it’s gotten a bit worse in the daytime. I’m still hacking up mucus until I vomit (or moan and cry to NOT vomit because I just ate and I’d rather NOT throw up a bacon burger, thanks) and it’s fuckin miserable. I’m worried that if this lasts, I’ll have to fly like this and my flight is an overnighter--prime cough/nausea/vomit hours. UGH. 

Other than the cough and my persistent jaw acne, I’m the perfect picture of health. I feel great. 

Well, no. My ass has a massive bruise because yesterday I slipped down Leah’s stairs (wood laminate is slippery as hell in socks!) running to the bathroom to...ugh...puke up a glob of mucus and bits of burger. 

But other than that! 

Work: 7/10

I still feel like I did something wrong and no one is telling me. I’m friendlier and peppier now that the winter blues (read: depression) are slipping away with the sunny skies and warmer weather (all that snow--16 inches on the ground at the start of the month--melting), but I think the damage is done. 

Except, other than not being super chatty, I’m not sure what the damage is. The only admin that’s normal is the principal. We’re getting along great! A few colleagues are still the same including Mr. Married Lumberjack whom I had a crush on.  

I’m probably paranoid though. I’m also bored out of my mind. Things are smooth for 85% of the time and that’s...great, but also...it’s too smooth and I feel judged doing more because Veronica is gone. 

Okay, so that most likely makes no sense, but it’s how I feel. 

Home: 9.5/10

Things are superb with my parents. I’m headed to D.C. with my mom next week (along with every 8th grader in America...I’m so stupid...) and we’re going to try to keep it as civil as possible when it comes to politics. My dad is texting, but not smothering me with attention. In fact, I should call him more.

My sister seems to be doing...the same. Lots of astrology posts on the gram, but no mention of Paris (her potentially mentally-ill ex) so that’s a relief. The kids are doing great as well. Nick and I are texting more often. He even asked my advice about our parents which was new. I want to ask him about Alyssa because I’m still utterly curious about that situation, but I know he’s still hurting over it and the fact that he had a “quarter-life” crisis when he was working 50+ hours, going to school full time, and interning at the church. He’s decided to graduate as quickly as possible, quit the preacher path, and stay in the coffee game. 

Apparently, he got a promotion and a raise, so he’s making really great money. Plus, he’s like...super passionate about coffee. More passionate than he ever seemed about Jesus or school. 

We’re currently fighting about NCAA brackets and our current favorite music, and it’s great. 

Friends: 6/10

Reconnecting with Jack and Nicol is super nice. I just don’t know how to proceed and how quickly and if I’m an annoyance. I also want Nicol without Jack as well, but I don’t want to offend either of them (not that I think it would! but the chance makes me hesitate...) and they’re such a partnership that I wonder if it IS a big request to separate them. 

We went to see Us today and I didn’t like it very much. We’re going to see Back to the Future on Tuesday at the old theater. They invited me to the former; I invited them to the latter. I trust this will all work out.

Gosh, and I don’t trust Leah at ALL which is wild because I probably hang out with her the most out of anyone, but yeah. There’s something about that girl that I don’t trust. 

Went on Facebook and saw a photo of my childhood best friends (we were a trio: Valerie, Kristina, and I). They were on a backpacking trip together in Alaska. They live entirely different lives, but they still maintained a great friendship over the years. God, and they went into chemical engineering so they’re both making BANK, but they’re the most down-to-earth women. 

I don’t know...I guess it makes me think...for the billionth time...how different my life would be if we’d never moved from El Paso. 

El Paso was idyllic. My childhood consisted of bike rides out into the desert, street games with a plethora of neighborhood boys, summer secrets and stars, theme parks and athletics, best friends who were boys that I knew I could fall in love with, best friends who were girls and I knew I could trust with my whole heart. I lived a good life there. 

When I left, things started to peel apart, but it sort of seemed--for the most part--most of the El Paso crew grew up in the same way they had been...in that easy, perfect sunset sort of way. Most everyone I grew up with went Homecoming and Prom and did senior sunrise and went to good schools where they did the greek life and then got jobs in the sciences or medicine or moved out to Hollywood. They’re utterly normal and successful now in a very...the way they tell you things will go in life. 

Anyway, that childhood best friend I thought I could fall in love with? Went through a long-haired rave phase circa 2012/13, but is currently dating a white girl who wears cowboy boots, no makeup, and studies sports medicine in the same grad program as him. It’s the way things were supposed to be and it’s just weird to see their lives (through the filter and lens of social media) go so simply. Also, his hairline is going and he looks bloated, so the white-half is coming for him in the aging process, ha. His Mexican mom still looks BOMB, so poor guy for inheriting his dad’s hair follicles. 

And anyway, that childhood best friend I could trust with my whole heart? Dating a republican future politician named John Smith and traveling South American for the next couple weeks working in various hospital and women’s health care. She’s a nurse and probably a damn good one. She got her boobs done a couple years ago and I sometimes wonder if we’d still get along. 

Media: 5/10

This is a bullshit category just to give a VM hot-takes, but I’ll play into my own bullshit. 

I’m not watching any TV except B99. I watch about 3 movies a week and I try to make 1 a classic or a “difficult” title. I watch mostly youtube, to be honest. I like Hot Ones, Bon Appetit, Jenna Marbles, theTryGuys, Tasty, Brave Wilderness, Millenium Dance Complex ‘n’ adjacent choreographers’ channels, and various media video essays. 

I’m reading a lot of books...but they’re all YA. Which isn’t bad! I’m just laughing that it took me reading Airborn by Kenneth Oppel (my favorite adventure YA book) out loud to the students to remind my dumb reading brain how fun books could be. Apparently, I’m a fantastic reader and I do wonderful voice and I make the story seem like a movie. We’re on the sequel and I’m about to start the His Dark Materials series.  

That Worlds podium? TRASH. Justice for S/B. 

Yeah, so I’m on a VM cleanse, right? Cause with the winter and all the crazy, it was just an unhealthy piece of media in my life. I miss the GC though, but that’s about it, lol. Oh, and with the new content (I tried to resist!) it’s clear that I did miss them doing their thing and I need to unload some of the thoughts whirling in my head. 

Ugh, I have thoughts about the whole timeline of events because I see people questioning or backtracking, and I’m like? We seriously went through an awful series of events that made all the previous weirdness make sense (but left lingering brand-new weirdness). Except that’ll just bring back old feelings that I’m trying to move on from. 

Geez, I can’t believe I’m about to talk about them in a gossip-y way again, but uh, I’m glad that they seem to be repairing their friendship and that Scott legit looked happy. The vibes are definitely friendship so far, or like, 2015-vibes. Which who knows where that will lead in the future? Will they do things messy like last Fall/Winter? Do they think they can try again or are they now afraid of fucking this up so badly they can’t come back from it? Are they going to accept each other as only friends and maintain those boundaries? You love me, real or not real? WHO KNOWS. I hate this ride.

Also, I’m aware of some of the gossip because I’m fool who caves from time to time for a few minutes and I remember (god, again, I hate that I’m still invested even with this time off) that J was selling her Coachella tickets, and now it’s been announced that VM are doing that show in Korea which takes place the same days as a Coachella weekend. So. Yeah. I’m putting my money on J being in Korea because why sell the tickets (just take a friend), but I’m also still wondering if this is all going to end up like Klawes-era. 

Literally, I wake up believing 100% that J’s gonna be the one Scott’s going to marry because it’s just that time. Then, I go to sleep 98% believing that no matter what, somehow, someway, Tessa and Scott are going to end up together. 

inTERSTIngLY, I have neglected to message Tinder matches the past couple weeks and I believe 50% of the time that I’m going to end up alone because I’m not even trying. (Cut me some slack though. I haven’t had an acne flare-up this bad in years and it’s wrecking my confidence.) 

Music: 10/10

I take hour drives out of town and find obscure trails and I hike for an hour...and let me tell you my Spotify is killing it. 

Current favorite songs:

How Do You Know - CALIPH (you know what I’m thinking) 

Stone Street - MS. WHITE (fun)

anything from Oliver Tree (his music speaks to me as does his fucking stupid meme humor)

Wow. - POST MALONE (sue me)

anything from Duckrth (so much fun) 

Charms - ABEL KORZENIOWSKI (don’t imagine VM dancing to this)

The Cheek of Night - ABEL KORZENIOWSKI

Sucks - ANGELO MOTA (dark and atmospheric hip hop that makes me wish I could dance cause it’s calling to me to choreograph something to it)

bury a friend - BILLIE EILISH (lol I can’t dance, but I’m learning Kodish choreo for this as a workout) 

Beverly Blues - OPIA (a summer jam)

#miranda this is your life

[mrjohnandrews007-blog]

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[happybirthdaykelhoe]

To my babu,

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday ugly Kelvin, HAAAAAPPPPYYY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! ASDFGHJKLVN? HAHAHAHAHAHA. How was your day babu? I'm glad that you went out today so I can finish this surprise I made for you. This is not much but I tried my best okay! Shut up!! First of all, I want to thank Ina for tagging you on my post before. She was the one who introduced you to me because I am a hoe for Jinyoung rps (before). You're that one annoying person who always ruins my streak, comment ugly opinions on my posts and always ANNOY THE SHIT OUTTA ME. I hated you at first because YOU'RE LITERALLY THE MOST ANNOYING HUMAN I HAVE EVER MET. We never talked in PM but you always annoy me!!!!!!!! But as time goes by, I get used to it. To be honest sometimes when you don't annoy me before I kind of miss it. (bitch i'm feeding your ego yikes) You're also the person people warned me about. I heard stories about you and we already talked about it. Most of them are not that good. You're the local's favorite asshole (this ASSHOLE IS MINE NOW HMP!!!). But this bitch is hard headed and never listened to their stories. They would always tell me to get away from you but nah, I mean we're not that close that time so I don't think it's really necessary plus you just annoy me and that's just it. The first time we talked, you sent me a vm of your "heartbeat" when all I can hear is the traffic noise. You're from the 7th floor and I'm from the 1st floor. I hate stairs so I'll stay here. I asked you a question and I'm still not satisfied with your answer!!!! We talked about... I can't remember anymore but we also talked about Mina and Bambam too. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Then you left messenger again. But when I was down and looking for someone to talk to, you messaged me and tried to comfort me bUT THE BITCH FAILED. SAID THAT I DON'T MATTER!!!! ARRRGGGHHH!!!!!! I was touched because you really tried to cheer me up so thanks for that. Second, let's thank Rio and Aoi. They were the ones who set us up. Not really set us up but dared me to send you a relationship request without telling you anything. I was supposed to remove it after a day but then Raffy scolded us told us that what if you might feel offended so I just left it there and just wait for you to remove it. And of lastly, I want to thank you. Thank you for becoming part of my life. Thank you for listening to my endless rants, to answering non-sense questions. Thank you for being a good friend, a listener, a "fake boyfriend," and now a real boyfriend. I'm so grateful to have you in my life. I honestly can't tell when did I really start liking you but I just know that moment when were talking 2 weeks ago that I need to let you know that! You're goddamn smooth at flirting while I was like "should I flirt him back? what if he's being a hoe again?” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Everything looks like it happened so fast but in reality it took us months. Losers only!!! I discover new things about you everyday. Let's take our time; we don't need to rush things. Let’s enjoy our moments together. You're going to college next month and things will be different for us but we will find a way and make things work, babu. I'm sorry for my shortcomings. If sometimes I wasn't really able to be active, if I can't stay up a bit late, if I rant too much and being kind of ugly when I'm moody (wait I don't think you have encountered that side of me yet but ok). I'm sorry if I'm not able to satisfy you... (yikes AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA). I'm sorry if you're receiving hates because of me. I'm sincerely sorry. You're the person I met four months ago but I know you have better intentions that the one I met four years ago. I know you will be able to reach your dreams. You're such an amazing man, Kelvin. I will always be here to support you, to listen to you. You can always lean on me. You're my home now and I can be yours too. You can be dead honest to me of how you feel. Tell me everything, things I need to know about you. I don't care about your flaws. I don't care if you're an asshole. I know you're a good person with a gold heart. I adore you and I trust you... okay this is so long now. Wow. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ABLE TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS. BITCH I KEEP ON GIVING YOU MY FIRSTS. THE FUCK. Again, happy birthday babu! Enjoy your day. PS. Will just say dsfkajfsh on PM. HEHEHEHEHEHE.