#so they cling to each other and learn to love each other and learn to grow together. but it takes a long time

[sweets3rial]

i wanted it to be you. (II)

ch. 1 // ch. 2

di!leon x fem!reader

summary: when Leon thinks things are too late, he gets a friendly reminder that things are never too late.

tags: angst/comfort, happy endings, fluff, wedding ceremony, marriage, vows, talks about future, small mention of overbearing in-laws, reader having many second thoughts, drunk letters/vows, Chris and Claire Redfield mentioned, runaway bride, panic/anxiety attacks, Leon loves you, time skips, teasing, smut, p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it before ya' tap it)

warnings: panic and anxiety attacks

word count: 10.3K (yikes srry ya'll)

“my dream house?”

“yeah, tell me.” he urged, bumping your hip with his. you looked up into the sky, pondering his question. it was a good question. you’d never thought of something like that before. you were so used to your two-bedroom and one-half-bathroom apartment.

“well, i want lots of greenery. like plants in every corner and in every room.” you began, using your spoon as a little wand as you spoke. “i also want a lot of warm lights, to give the house a nice welcoming vibe to it,”

he hummed, nodding as you finished each sentence. “i like earthy tones or nude tones, nice soft couches, and a stone fireplace. a big living room and a large dining room- y’know how in those movies where the rich sad family gathers for dinner and it’s very awkward and quiet?”

his eyebrows furrowed, “you want something like that?”

you chuckled, “no, but i want my dining room to look like that just less … sad.”

“i see, it’s like those where the father is at the end and the mother at the other end,”

“exactly,” you smiled wider. you picked a cherry floating atop your frozen yogurt, taking it by the stem and bringing it to his lips. he opened his mouth with an audible sound, wrapping his cold lips around the fruit and plucking it off the stem.

you flicked the stem out of your fingers and onto the street where it’ll be swept away in the wind and trampled on by those who walked by.

“i want a large backyard, with either a poo or just a large field of grass.” you smiled at the thought of walking out onto your porch as an old feeble woman to enjoy a cup of coffee as you stared out into your backyard to watch the sun set or rise. or even watch your future kids play with the family dog.

you never wanted to have kids. just the thought of splitting yourself in half while pushing out new life sent chills up your spine. but sometimes, the idea of holding a child to your chest and watching it grow. the idea of listening to them laugh and play, watching as they discovered new interests and learned new things, and being alive to discover the person they will become, doesn’t sound too bad.

“i want a balcony, one that stretches from one side of the house to the other. that way i can sit outside and i don’t know enjoy a nice cigarette.”

a laugh erupted from his chest at the thought of you only wanting a balcony to smoke a cigarette. but then that image warped into him watching you from the door smoking that cigarette. the wind blowing in your hair, the sun kissing your skin, your clothes flapping against your skin.

he imagined you’d be wearing a baggy shirt, maybe one of his shirts. the wind blowing up from the balcony would cause your shirt to cling to you. to your curves and the dips of your body, the purchase of your hips, and the slim of your waist.

you’d turn to him with your elbows leaned up against the railing behind you, cigarette between the plump skin of your lips as you beckoned him over to join you.

“i had a friend,” you started, interrupting his small daydream.

“her parents had this master bedroom. when you walked in, to your left was a sliding door that led to the balcony overlooking her backyard, and then to the right was a couple’s bathroom,” you sighed at the memory, you envied her.

one, because her parents were happily married and slept in the same bed. two, because she had a big house with a large backyard. and three, because she was happy. she lived luxuriously in her big house, she was spoiled, and her parents doted on her. her life was perfect.

yours, not so much.

“her mom occupied one sink with her makeup and her jewelry, and her dad occupied the other with cologne and little figures,” you gulped down a lump in your throat, looking up at him to see him already looking at you. you could see the sad look on his face. the look of pity and sadness, it left a stab in your heart knowing that you probably ruined his night for him.

“i want that.” your words left your throat with a small croak. you weren’t just talking about a couples bathroom with a jacuzzi bathtub but also to be happy. to live in a large house, to be happy with your future husband and kids, to enjoy luxurious jewelry and clothes.

his heart hurt at the look in your eyes, the yearning and the hope. he could see the pain as you spoke about your friend, even if you were smiling as if it was a good memory. he wanted to say, i can give you that.

he wanted to give you that. not only for you but also for himself, that way when you beckon him over as you smoke your cigarette he can join your side. his daydream began to play again; as he joined your side, you’d put your cigarette out and wrap your arms around his torso with a sigh.

he could smell the shampoo in your damp hair and the lotion you lathered onto your skin — along with a hint of his cologne from the baggy t-shirt that belonged to him. the wind was nice and fresh, a cooling breeze along with the warm morning sun. he’d shut his eyes and hold you to his chest, slowly swaying you back and forth as he enjoyed the warmth from the sun along with the warmth from your body.

“that sounds nice,” he looked down at you, “peaceful,”

you smiled up at him, licking your sticky lips, “yeah, it does,”

your smile slowly faded as you began to doze off, he was very … pretty. the way his dirty blonde hair framed his face so perfectly. golden strands that are soft like silk and fluffy like cotton. his eyes, how they gazed into yours, pulling you in deep like the tide of the ocean and drowning you into his being.

they say the eyes are the window to the soul. when someone furrows a brow, you can tell their soul is confused or troubled. when a tear swells you know their soul is sad. when their pupil dilates you know their soul is in love.

there is a ring around his pupils, a ring of blue — the color of his irises. his plump lips are agape, sucking in breaths and letting them go. his lashes flutter with every blink, his eyes trailing every inch of your face, taking every detail of you into memory.

you did the same. scanning over his dimpled cheeks, his high cheekbones, his strong brow bones, his long lashes, the tips of his cold ears, and the window to his soul. all of it.

“you’re so beautiful,” his words came out almost in a drunken whisper. his brain wasn’t able to process any word that left his mouth until it did.

the blood that pumped into your veins instantly ran to your face. your cheeks heating up as your eyes widened, you looked back down at your melted froyo — hoping that taking a bite would hide away your hot cheeks. “thank you,” you mumbled trying to fight back the smile creeping up onto your sticky lips.

“of course uh- back to your dream house-“

“oh right! um-“

------

a living room with comfortable couches and a coffee table in the middle sitting, in front of a large stone fireplace. a kitchen with off-white cabinets, black tile floors, and an island with black marble counters and a deep sink. a dining room with a large table with seven chairs and a runner underneath.

plants, everywhere. in the front, in the large backyard, hanging from the roof, in every room, and in every corner.

large windows that faced the sunset and sunrise, casting down their warmth and triumph into the house to illuminate every corner without a single flip of a light switch. warm lights, in the kitchen, the living room, the dining room, the hallways, everywhere.

a patio out front and out back, a balcony that stretched across the back of the house. five rooms, a guest room, three kids’ rooms, and a master bedroom. a master bedroom where when you walked in, to the left were the sliding doors to the balcony, and to the right a couples bathroom and a walk-in closet.

though, it wasn’t a home. there were drapes over the furniture to keep them from collecting dust. there were no plants just empty corners. the windows were shut and no one lived there.

the rooms were empty, with nothing but carpet and walls. it wasn’t a home. it had no life, no family, no giggles and happiness. it was simply just a house.

“sir, i just need you to sign here and then we’ll lease the house.”

he straightened his posture and blinked away the dryness in his eyes. he looked over at the man, he was about his height. he wore a fancy suit, his mustache was nice and jelled up, his hair slicked back and he smelt of expensive cologne.

he took one last look around the house, his heart aching. if he closed his eyes, he could hear you in the kitchen, chopping vegetables and listening to your music or your podcasts. he could hear your voice calling him from your bedroom. he could hear a dog maybe the giggles of children. but that was just a figment of his imagination.

he was standing in the middle of a house. your dream house. the one you told him about so many years ago. back then, he would’ve said ‘i can give you that’, but he hesitated. would that have made you stay? if he said he was putting all his money into building this house for you.

buying the furniture and the tiling and marble necessary to make it happen. hiring construction workers to add on a balcony and a back porch. would all his effort … would it have made you stay?

“who’s getting married?” the realtor asked, pointing at his boutonniere with his pen. he blinked, once again brought out of his daze.

“uh my … ex-girlfriend,” he grumbled awkwardly. the realtor jumped back a little, a small strand of his slicked-back hair falling out.

“oh,” was all he could say as he too joined him in looking around the house. the real estate agent could tell that this man wasn’t looking to live here by himself, there were so many rooms, rooms for a family. a couples bathroom and a shared walk-in closet.

the realtor sighed, looking up at the man. his eyes were bloodshot red, most likely from crying or being up all night. the bags under his eyes were dark and heavy. he was holding a flask of whiskey and his posture remained slouched.

“Mr. Kennedy,” the realtor clicked his pen and hooked it back onto his suit pocket. he stuffed the paperwork under his arm and puffed out his chest. he was losing business by doing this but he’d rather see a man happy to sell his house rather than sad to sell his house.

“i was young once,” he began, standing next to Leon as he dozed off. “i too had a girlfriend, she was the girl of my dreams,” the man chuckled at the memory.

“we were young and very, very stupid,”

Leon’s head slowly turned towards the man beside him, he found that the realtor was looking out the window with a smile on his face which caused his mustache to turn upwards.

“i was poor and she was wild, i wanted to give her a proper life. so i worked and i worked to the point that i’d tire myself and i barely had time for her.”

Leon let his eyes fall to the ground, this story was sounding a bit too familiar to him. not having time for each other led to miscommunication and arguments all the time. it was not a story that he wished to retell.

“so she left me, one day i came home and she was gone.” the man sniffled a bit, watching a bird fly out of one of the trees that sat on the front lawn. the bird reminded him of her, his songbird, always singing and so loud. though, he loved it when she sang and tweeted like a bird.

her voice was always like music to his ears anyway.

“i crashed her wedding like a fool and she told me that she would’ve been happy getting married without a big ring and a big house. that she would’ve been happy with how things were,” the man let out a sigh, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“so, my word to you is…don’t let it be too late. if you love her and hopefully she still loves you then … make it work.” the man placed a hand on Leon’s shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. a sign of support for the young man since he too has been in Leon’s position once.

“it is never too late to be what you wanted to be,”

'i wanted it to be you.'

your voice replayed in his head. he could still hear the tears clogged in your throat and he could still see the look in your eye. he could still smell your perfume and feel your lips on his skin. it isn’t too late. he wasn’t too late.

Leon slowly began to nod his head, building up the courage to do something anything. he knew it was time to let you go, that it was over and done.

'do you still love me?'

'goodbye, Leon.'

those were the last words you said to him. he replays the sound in his voice every night and it keeps him awake at night. he tosses and turns, missing the warmth of your body and the feeling of your skin. he feels selfish, yearning for someone who wants nothing to do with him. someone who is getting married in a few hours.

but you aren’t just anyone. dare say, you are the love of his life.

“thank you, Mr. Gudzynski.” Leon smiled at the man, taking one last chug of the whiskey in his flask before making his way out the door. Chris stood there waiting for him, leaning up against his car with a cigarette hanging from his lips as he stared down at his phone.

upon hearing Leon’s foot crush the rocks beneath him, he looked up. he stomped out his cigarette as he blew out the last puff of smoke.

“how’d it go?” Chris asked, rolling his shoulders to let the sleeves of his suit adjust.

“did you just put out your cigarette on fresh cement?”

“i guess you sold it then,” Chris chuckled dryly.

Leon took a moment to reply, looking at the porch behind him. it was empty, just plain wooden slabs. he knew how much you wanted a patio, this was your house after all.

completely inspired by you. every corner and every detail of this house you had spoken to Leon years ago. he made your dream a reality, though you'll never know that.

“i couldn’t,”

Chris turned to Leon, his frame tensing up, “uh you what?”

“i couldn’t sell it, i just…” Leon ended his sentence with a shrug and much to his dismay, Chris nodded understandably.

“i knew you wouldn’t be able to,” Chris sighed, opening the door to his car.

“what?” Leon said with a lift of his brow.

“just get in,”

the whole drive to the church, Leon could feel his body growing heavier and heavier. he was nervous. unsure of what he should do or say? will he have the time? he was constantly wiping his hands onto his pants, trying to wipe the nerves and sweat away.

he was staring out the window blankly, bouncing his leg and biting on the inside of his cheeks.

~

’stop that,’

‘stop what?’

your fingers reached up to tap his cheek, ‘stop biting your cheeks, you’re making me anxious’

he stopped instantly, licking over the skin that he was just biting at. you sighed, standing in front of him as you fixed his tie. you worked with straightening the silk fabric and tightening it around his neck — not too much.

he looked down at you and his nerves instantly eased. your face was relaxed, your breathing slows, your lashes fluttered with every single blink, and god you were glowing. he couldn’t help but smile, he knew he had no reason to be nervous if you were right by his side.

and here you were; fixing his tie and smoothing out his suit.

‘you got this, it’s just a simple speech, we rehearsed it many times,’ you leaned up onto your tippy toes to place a kiss on his chin. ‘and i’ll be right in the audience supporting you,’

~

his lips curled into a small smile at the memory, he would’ve for sure embarrassed himself if it wasn’t for you being by his side. he remembers it clear as day, standing up on that podium as he received his award, his hands were shaking and his vision was blurry.

he was trying to read off of his speech but he couldn’t. that was until he found you in the room and then suddenly, you two were in the living room of your shared apartment. you were sitting on the couch with takeout in your lap. as he practiced his speech, you’d slurp your noodles or take a bite of your fried rice as you pretended to be a high government official.

once his eyes found yours in the large crowd, you smiled up at him mouthing the words; ‘you got this,’

“we’re here,” Chris sighed aloud. Leon looked up to see many familiar faces walking up the steps into the church, hand in hand and with smiles on their faces. all dressed in black suits and dresses, a simple and traditional color.

you were never a religious woman, you weren’t the type to go to church every Sunday or pray before every meal. but here you were getting married in a church, under the eye of god as if you hadn’t slept with another man just a few months ago.

your eyes were stuck on the cross hanging above you. the hairstylist you hired was busy touching up your hair, your makeup artist was powdering your nose and adding more highlight to your cheekbones consistently saying the same words, ‘make sure you smile that way you can really pop.’

you’d give her a small silent nod, whatever made her happy.

you haven’t smiled once. it was your wedding day. after months of trying on dresses, trying cake flavors, sending out invitations, and picking out bridesmaids. the day was here and you couldn’t smile. you’ve been sitting in this chair for hours, getting your hair and makeup done.

your bridesmaids would come in screaming excitedly while waving around bottles of champagne. you put on a fake smile with fake laughs and giggles but your mind was elsewhere.

you were thinking of a lot. your future after today, losing your last name, kids, and in-laws. but mostly you were thinking about him. it was hard, writing his name down on an envelope and sending it to him through the mail.

your fiancee, soon-husband, didn’t know about you and Leon. he believes you two are coworkers and nothing more. acquaintances or even strangers. he didn’t know the deep love you held for that man.

he was excited to see that you were inviting the other agents. he felt special. as if him being married to a D.S.O agent would make him a better tech or get him a promotion.

it was so hard sending him that invitation. most of the other invitations were given in person unless the guests lived far away. you wondered if he would come, part of you hoped he did and the other part of you hoped he didn’t.

“it’s almost time,” you looked to your side to see your uncle standing in the doorway. you chose him to walk you down the aisle, he’s been here for you more than your father. he was there for your daddy-daughter dances, for your graduation. elementary, middle school, and high school.

you stood up from your chair, smoothing out your dress. your dress was itchy and heavy, the pins in your hair stabbed your scalp with every movement, your makeup felt heavy and cakey, and your heels hurt. everything felt wrong.

“are you ready?” you looked at your uncle, a smile on his face as he looked at you. that was when tears welled in your eyes and you shook your head, suddenly you were a little girl again, crying to him when you didn’t get a toy you wanted.

your uncle’s face contorted with worry as he rushed to your side.

“hey, what’s wrong?”

you sobbed, throwing your head down so your tears wouldn’t ruin your makeup. you grabbed the back of your chair, trying to find your words and your breath but it was hard with the corset constricting your every movement.

“i can’t do it, i can’t go out there-“

“of course you can,” he reached over for a few napkins as his hand rubbed up and down your back, “i know it’s stressing, this is your big day, and your life is going to change after this.”

you shook your head again, pursing your lips together to keep another sob from leaving your lips.

“but this is the day you’ve been waiting for, you’ve stressed yourself out enough. after this, you get to enjoy your honeymoon and your house.”

you looked up at him, blinking away another tear. he smiled at you, taking the napkin to blot away the tears. you couldn’t help but think, only if he knew.

only if he knew where your heart truly lies. who your soul calls to. what you did, more specifically who you did. you couldn’t tell him. it was too late to tell anyone. what were you supposed to say? i slept with another man. quite frankly, the only man i’ve ever loved.

you’d be burned at the stake, by everyone in the church. especially, your mother-in-law.

so you sucked in a deep breath and stood up straight.

“okay,” you croaked, and you held the napkin to your tears. you hoped he wasn’t here, you really did. you knew if you made eye contact with him somewhere in the crowd, you would break.

so you linked arms with your uncle, standing up straight and putting a smile on your face. your uncle smiled back at you, giving your arm a small squeeze. your feet were already beginning to hurt and the minute the piano started your limbs began to shake.

your nerves were on edge, your palms were sweaty and you could barely control your breathing. you walked out of the small room you used to get ready and into the main hall. there were photographers, gasping at the sight of you.

gorgeous dress that made you look like a princess, the fabric along with your veil trailed behind you, leaving a path of your essence. instantly, camera shutters were beginning to go off. you gave the photographers a nervous smile and wave as you stood in front of the two large doors.

you looked up at the roof, naked baby angels danced above you, they were holding harps and chasing each other with smiles on their faces. clouds surrounded them along with doves. hints of gold were seen in the paint.

it was beautiful. architectural and just pure with grace. even if the paint was fading and cracking, it was the most beautiful thing you've seen today.

your uncle knocked at the doors, signaling whoever was inside that you were ready. when the doors opened you were met with gasps and the sound of people rising from their seats. you made eye contact with a few people both from your family and his.

you watched as a few covered their mouths in shock, their facial expressions softening in awe. you smiled at a few, keeping your head forward most of the time. your fiancee stood at the end with a wide smile on his face. his friends were giving him firm pats on the shoulder, demonstrating their support.

you smiled at him, pursing your lips as you let your eyes wander. to your left, in the second row, seated in the very first seat…there he was. he came. your face dropped upon seeing him, your knees suddenly felt weak, and a large pain erupted in your chest.

he stood with his hands folded in front of him. his lips were agape, his jaw hanging loose. his eyebrows were upturned in awe. your steps slowed a bit as you got closer to him. you wanted to see him one last time before it was too late.

in his mind, he was standing there at that altar instead of that bearded man. he was watching you walk down the aisle and you were smiling at him. you looked beautiful. god, that color always suited you. your makeup and hair were done beautifully, he’s never seen you this way — all dolled up.

it put his heart to a complete stop. he couldn’t focus on anything but you. your eyes were stuck on him as you passed by. he watched your smile fade as you both made eye contact and he felt a stab in his chest. for a second, he couldn’t breathe and he couldn’t blink. he was just frozen in time.

as you walked past him, your head fell to look at the ground. Leon too looked away, continuing to bite on the inside of his cheeks, this time he could taste blood. he shouldn’t be here. he shouldn’t watch this happen. he couldn’t. he couldn’t.

but he wanted to, today was special to you but it was the complete opposite to him.

he watched as you stood before your husband, a smile rising to your mouth as you gave him a small ‘hi’. Leon let his head drop to his lap, his leg was bouncing uncontrollably. he couldn’t do it. he couldn’t be here.

he was about to look up at Chris to tell him he had to go but he was interrupted when Chris put his hand on Leon's knee. when he looked at Chris, he was looking ahead. a toothpick between his lips and his eyes stuck ahead on you and your future husband.

he knew Chris was trying to convey something, probably 'calm the fuck down,' but also some type of support.

Chris knew today was hard for Leon. with each passing day that the wedding got closer, Leon has been sulking and slacking off during training. his flask was his best friend and so was his bed.

Chris was the only one who knew how deep Leon’s love ran for you. Chris was there during the nights Leon would stumble around drunk and depressed. he gave Leon a hand when he was at his lowest. he helped Leon get rid of his addiction. he got Leon a therapist.

he did a lot for Leon when you two split, same for you. Chris was like the older brother you never had, he was supportive and kind. he was always understanding. you were able to confide in him comfortably. you could sob on his shoulder and use him as a punching bag instead of Leon.

Chris saw both of you at your lowest points and he brought both of you back.

he did so much to bring you two back together but here he is; watching one get married while the other watches with tears in his eyes. Leon kept his head down, unable to face you and watch the scenery before him. the priest prompted you two to begin your vows and he was first.

there was a nervous smile on his face as he pulled out a folded piece of paper from his pocket. he unfolded the paper, his eyes flickering between you and the speech before him. he cleared his throat, facing the crowd.

“first and foremost, i want to thank everyone for being here; friends and family.” he cleared his throat once again, looking towards you. it made Leon’s stomach twist with jealousy as you smiled at him so lovingly. he also couldn’t stop admiring how beautiful you were. pure innocence and grace, well he knew you were far from innocent.

“and most of all my gorgeous wife-to-be,” your smile dropped into a simple lift of your lips. but slowly, you began to look around the crowd. your eyes landing on your family, your in-laws, and then Leon. from there, you stayed fixated on him.

you haven’t seen him so polished in so long. his suit was nicely tailored, sleek back with a white brooch. though his tie was crooked and he was chewing on the inside of his cheeks. his frantic leg bouncing stopped once he made eye contact with you. his body froze in a way, his breath caught in his throat.

he smiled at you, gently. the look in his eyes spoke for him, ‘you look beautiful,’ he said.

he tried to keep calm, for you. even though he was on the verge of a heart attack. even if he was terribly heart broken, he needed to be happy for you. today is your day.

you smiled back at him even wider, shying away from him with visible heat in your cheeks, ‘thank you,’ you said back, smoothing out the skirt of your dress. your fiancee’s speech fell on deaf ears, you were paying attention to everything else but him at the moment.

Leon sat right in your field of view. at the other side of the aisle, in the second row, towards the very end of the bench.

you sucked in a deep breath, your lips falling agape as you kept eye contact with him longer. suddenly, the feelings you wished to bury. the ones you’ve been trying to bury for years were coming back. it was like slowly drowning. you can see the surface still but as you sink deeper and deeper, it becomes blurry and you are forever trapped in the ocean beneath you.

his kisses, his touch, his love, his passion, his laugh, his smile, his hair, his teeth, his nose, the hair on his arms and legs, the scar on his shoulder, the mole on his neck — it was all coming back. he was coming back.

the happiness you felt when he would wake you up with gentle kisses to your neck and shoulder. the joy you felt walking into the kitchen to see him there making coffee, he hated coffee. he hated the feeling it left on your tongue. the bitter taste and the smell of your breath after taking a sip. he hated coffee but he still made it.

it made him feel like a normal person living in an apartment with his normal girlfriend.

the comfort you’d get when he’d hug you. the excitement you felt when he’d come home. the small things he did that aroused you to the point of insanity. the arguments…you even missed the petty arguments. arguments never lasted long. Leon hated arguing with you.

it would usually end up with him sleeping on the couch that night. then he’d wake up with a heavy weight on top of him. of course, it was you. or it would end up with him throwing you over his shoulder and locking you both in your shared bedroom together.

even if you two argued, you refused to be away from each other.

you were woken from your daydream by the wave of chuckles around the room. you joined in subconsciously, blinking your dry eyes and averting your attention away from Leon. meanwhile, he was gripping the pants of his suit with butterflies in his stomach. he couldn’t shake off this feeling.

the feeling of loss. the feeling that maybe it was too late.

your fiancee had finished his vows, folding up the paper and storing it back in his pocket. you looked up at you, a blush on his cheeks and sweat brimming at his forehead. you could see he was nervous, he was shaking — constantly rocking back and forth and itching at his beard.

you reached into your bra, pulling out your vows. you were so unprepared. you wrote your vows probably a few nights ago, drunk one too many drinks and elbow-deep in a bag of your favorite chips.

the minute you unfolded the paper, you knew you should’ve read it over.

‘To my beloved, Leon…’

you swallowed a lump in your throat, nervously looking between the paper, your fiancee, and Leon sitting in the crowd. you were drunk and wrote vows to the wrong man. no, it was to the right man. Leon was the right man. he always has been.

“um, to my beloved, future husband,” you began, your voice trembling and your throat aching. you read over the first line and you instantly felt tears swell up in your eyes, “i miss you, um,” your eyes flashed over to Leon.

“i miss you even if you’re right next to me. no words can summarize how much i love you, how much i burn and yearn for you every passing minute … every passing day.”

Leon felt his heart break into a million pieces right then and there. your eyes remained on him, only looking away to glance back down at your vows. were you … reading these to him? Leon swallowed a lump in his throat, his eyebrows upturning as he tried to hold himself together.

you were making up things as you went, your words completely different from what was really written down:

“i am glad to have you by my side,” i wish you were by my side, holding me and singing your cheesy songs in my ear.

“i am blessed to wake up to you every morning and suck in a deep breath of your essence and your being,” i miss waking up to you every morning, staying in bed for a few more hours just so i can watch you breathe and stir in your sleep.

“i was broken when you found me but you pieced me back together, slowly and patiently,” you broke me. we broke each other but every single piece of me will crawl back to you in the end. no matter how shattered i am.

a tear slipped down your cheek, you were beginning to choke up the more and more you read. it was getting hard to make things up and say those instead of reading what you wrote down. a full page confessing your every feeling and thought to the right man … to Leon.

tears continued to fall.

‘i miss you. god, i miss you. i should’ve never left. i should’ve stayed. it was my fault. i broke us, i hurt us. i died when i left you but you brought me back to life when i saw you standing on that cliff.

when i saw you, the emotions running through me i couldn’t comprehend. i wanted to run, i wanted to turn away because i knew if i approached you it would be bad. but my body made its way towards you anyway.

i love you. i always have and i always will. i wish i could hold you again. i wish i could go back. they say to never open the closed doors of your past. fuck not opening closed doors, your door never closed.

when i turn back i can see you, standing there in the doorway watching me leave. just like the night i left. it hurts looking back, it hurts because i want to run back to you so bad.’

‘do you still love me?’

his words rang in your head like an alarm. you were looking down at your paper, vision blurry with tears. you could feel the weight of your tears falling onto the sheet as you sat there in silence. a small sob left your lips as audible whispers rang throughout the room.

you folded the paper in half, shaking your head as you looked up at your fiancee.

“i’m sorry,” was all you said as you took a step back. your body moved before you could process anything. you ran down the steps, lifting the skirt of your dress with one hand while the other held your love letter with a vice grip.

you ran down the aisle, towards the large doors. your throat was on fire and as you burst through the wooden doors, you finally let out a singular sob.

everyone in the church stood and watched you run out, looking between you and your fiancee abandoned at the altar. the whispers became louder, and gasped erupted through the room. your fiancee stood at the altar looking at his feet, completely still.

his mother ran up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder as she threw a million questions towards him. he stayed silent, eyes fixed on the ground below him. he couldn't believe it and neither could anyone else.

Leon looked back from you running out the door towards Chris standing behind him. his face was painted with worry, his eyes wide and eyebrows scrunched together. Chris nodding his head towards the door, signaling Leon to go after you.

“go, she needs you,” Claire said from behind Chris. Leon nodded silently, a heavy breath leaving his lips as he ran after you.

he was second to burst through those doors after you. he looked right and left, panicking. what happened? what was wrong? he knew he shouldn’t have come. this was his fault. if he didn’t come, you would be running out of this church with your husband on your arm. not like this.

those vows. they weren’t for your husband. he knew that for sure. your eyes were stuck on his, he watched with agony as tears slipped past your pretty eyes and down your cheeks. god, he hated seeing you cry more than anything. he just wished he could scoop you up in his arms and coax them out of you gently.

a sign against the wall that read ‘garden’ caught his attention. the sign pointed to the left and Leon was quick to take after you.

he knew you well. he knew you loved gardens and flowers, always plucking them from the ground or from their bush and sticking them into Leon’s hair. you once mentioned to him how when you’re troubled you tend to turn to nature or your bed. you’d take walks, sit outside in the sun in silence. you’d brush your fingers against the soft petals and leaves.

your bed was nowhere in sight so he ran in the direction of the garden.

he made way down the steps into the garden, loosening the tie around his neck. he shut his mouth, listening to your voice over his beating heart and his heaving breaths. he could faintly hear sobs coming from his right. his head snapped in the direction of your cries, his heart breaking as he spotted your heels on the ground.

they most likely slipped off as you ran away. he sucked in one last deep breath, trudging through the grass of the church garden to pick up your heels. the garden was beautiful, tall bushes acting as walls to a makehsift maze.

white roses were planted everywhere. the grass was healthy and warm, tickling at his ankles. bees buzzed around the bushes, hopping from flower to flower. birds chirped in the trees, singing melancholic tunes on this beautiful afternoon. or pretty drastic afternoon.

as he walked further into the maze, he caught eye of you. your back was turned to him, you had sat down on a bench in the middle of the maze and in front of a marble statue. he stopped in his tracks, gulping down the lump in his throat which somehow made his presence clear to you.

you turned around surprised, eyes wide and a small gasp leaving your lips.

when you caught eye of him standing there, holding your heels with one hand and the other tucked in his pocket. you felt tears welling up again, though you hid it away with a dry laugh.

“how cliche huh? runaway bride.”

he didn’t answer, making his way closer and closer to you. he rounded around the bench, getting down on one knee in front of you. he took your right ankle into his hands, rubbing at your soft skin.

Leon tried to ignore the damp paper in your hands — your vows. he was curious, what did they really say?

he slipped on your heel, continuing to draw circles onto your skin.

you watched him, inhaling deep, trembling breaths and gripping the edge of the bench with all your might. the tension was thick, so thick to the point neither of you could breathe.

“say something,” you sighed out.

“i don’t know what to say,” he croaked out, his voice stuffy and hoarse. he took a hold of your other ankle, slipping on the last heel.

“say that i don’t know, i’m stupid. i’m an idiot. i embarassed myself, i-“ you cut yourself off with a heavy sigh, dropping your head into your lap. there was a moment of silence, leaving you two stuck in an oasis of tweeting birds, rustling trees, and buzzing bees.

“look at me-“

“no,”

“please, baby look at me,” he practically begged. butterflies arose in your stomach and you shut your eyes, hoping you could shut him out. hoping the noise in your head would stop, just hoping everything will quiet. “i need you to look at me.”

that was all it took. you slowly looked up from your lap and at him. once you met his gaze, you felt like you were that young girl again. that young girl walking down the street after a dinner date, eating froyo in freezing weather and talking about your dream house.

“you’re not an idiot, you’re not stupid, you’re perfect. you’re so perfect,” he sighed out. “why’d you run?”

you shook your head, “i couldn’t do it, Leon, i-“ you stopped yourself to suck in a deep breath, but it felt so constricted. your head was pounding, everything felt heavy and you were so dizzy. every thing was falling down. you felt like you couldn’t breathe or think, your head was spinning and your knuckles white.

you gripped at your chest, nervously playing with the pendant of your necklace but at the same time trying to tug it off. you felt like you were choking, your vision began to cloud with tears but at the same time you felt like you were losing consciousness.

“hey, hey,” he came to sit next to you, instantly wrapping his heavy arms around your shoulders to bring you into his chest but still giving you room to breathe.

his fingers began to loosen the ribbons to your corset. his movements were stable and calm. “breathe with me ‘kay?" he soothed, "in and out, just how we always did,”

you nodded, gripping onto his suit, “in”

you shut your eyes and took a deep breath in. “good, what’s one thing you can taste?”

“um my lipstick,” you said, as you both exhaled.

“in,” he rubbed your back with one hand while the other held you firmly against him, “what are two things you can smell?”

his voice was getting deeper and quieter. slowly, your body began to relax. you could breathe again. you focused on your surroundings, naming off the first things you could. “the grass and…” you paused to let a deep breath out, “you.”

he wasn’t going to lie, your reply made his heart jump a little bit. he tightened his hold onto you, burying his nose into your hair. “in.”

as he took a deep breath in, he was bombarded with the smell of your shampoo and hairspray, “what are three things you can hear?”

“birds, wind and your heart beat,” you whispered to him as you let out another deep breath.

“in,” another deep breath in, “almost there, what are four things you can touch?” he could feel your body loosen up as you began to feel around him. your eyes were shut and your body began to go slack against him.

“your suit, the bench, and a button,” another deep breath out.

“good, almost there, in.” you were prepared for this one, pulling back from the hug just a bit so you could look around your surroundings. “what are five things you can see?”

you looked up at him, your breath hitching in your throat and your knees going weak. even if you were sitting down, you felt like jelly — as if you would melt right through this bench. you opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out but a weak croak.

he whispered out your name, concerned. his eyebrows curling upwards and his eyes searching yours. the longer you stayed like this, looking into his eyes and breathing with him, the quieter it got. there was no more pounding and noise in your head. your dress didn’t feel itchy. the pins in your hair no longer stabbed at your scalp. the soles of your feet didn’t hurt.

it was all so peaceful. everything.

“i do,” you managed to croak out.

“what?”

“to answer your question,”

‘do you still love me?’

“i do, Leon, i do. more than you’ll ever know,”

you couldn’t read the look on his face, all you saw was a flurry of emotions. he searched your face for any hesitation or lie, anything to keep him from taking you away from here for good. something to stop him from being selfish and keeping you all to himself.

“i love you, Leon Scott Kennedy.”

~

To my beloved, Leon,

i wish you were by my side, holding me and singing your cheesy songs in my ear.

i miss waking up to you every morning, staying in bed for a few more hours just so i can watch you breathe and stir in your sleep.

you broke me. we broke each other but every single piece of me will crawl back to you in the end. no matter how shattered i am.

i miss you. god, i miss you. i should’ve never left. i should’ve stayed. it was my fault. i broke us, i hurt us. i died when i left you but you brought me back to life when i saw you standing on that cliff.

when i saw you, the emotions running through me i couldn’t comprehend. i wanted to run, i wanted to turn away because i knew if i approached you it would be bad. but my body made its way towards you anyway.

i love you. i always have and i always will. i wish i could hold you again. i wish i could go back. they say to never open the closed doors of your past. fuck not opening closed doors, your door never closed.

when i turn back i can see you, standing there in the doorway watching me leave. just like the night i left. it hurts looking back, it hurts because i want to run back to you so bad.

you’re my everything and you’ll continue to be for the rest of my life. i cannot breathe without you, i cannot think, i cannot function. my head is foggy. but when i see you it all becomes so clear. when i go to sleep at night and the thought of you crosses my mind i can’t help but smile.

i wish i still had that picture of you by my bed because it’s never enough to see you smiling in my head as i lay in the dark. the sheets are cold, this house is cold, my heart is cold. i need you Leon.

it’s too late to go back now. i can’t keep doing this to you. i’m sorry. i love you.

~

a heavy hand was draped over your waist, strong firm muscle pooling you into a brick wall of a chest. you smiled, placing your hand over the one on your stomach. light kisses were pressed to your neck and down to your shoulder. rough stubble tickling your smooth skin only prompting you to smile wider.

“good morning,” a hoarse voice spoke in your ear. you looked up at the clock on your nightstand, it read 12:16. you grumbled, turning over and burying your face into chest and muscle, draping your arms around his frame and intertwining your legs with his.

“it’s so early,” you whined, hiding away from the sun peeking through your balcony doors.

“baby, it’s noon.” more kisses were pressed to your face, slowly waking you up with each one. gentle and wet kisses, you smiled at the feeling, nuzzling your nose between his pectorals with a low groan.

“it’s time to get up,”

the sound of you faking a snore earned you a small chuckle, the chest you lay on bouncing up and down — shaking you awake a bit more. the hand on your back traveled further south, rubbing over the bare skin of your ass.

“i tire you out last night, huh?” he taunted, kissing over the love bites forming on your neck and shoulders. you nodded shamelessly, every single one of your limbs was sore and you could barely move an inch without wincing in pain.

“that’s unfair, you folded me like origami and you expect me not to be tired, let me sleep,”

“i'm sorry baby, but i’m not done,”

a smirk grew on your lips and all of a sudden the pain in your body was gone. you were flipped over onto your back, making you squeal out in surprise. you were met with a pair of blue eyes and a messy head of brown hair.

warm lips met yours in a heated frenzy of a kiss — full of flame and passion. you tangled your fingers into the head of messy brown hair, moaning deeply into the kiss. you lifted your legs and brought them up and around his waist.

you could feel his hard cock press against your inner thigh, a small groan left his lips at the contact and a needy moan left yours. his hand reached between your nude bodies, two fingers slotting in between your folds and a slow and languid pace.

the tips of his fingers found your clit, rubbing small and slow circles around the sore nub. your walls fluttered around nothing, craving his cock that throbbed against your thigh.

you failed to kiss him back as a small whine left your lips.

“so wet already,” he kissed your chin, “were you dreaming about me, baby?”

you couldn’t help but give him a large smile, “maybe,”

you watched a smile grow on his lips as he placed another deep kiss to yours. his fingers left your aching cunt, leaving you pleading for more. his hand glided up your thigh, making sure your legs were securely wrapped around him.

he pulled away from the kiss, kissing your nose and then the corner of your mouth.

“i love you,” he breathed out.

“i love you too…ah,” your voice faded away into a moan as he slowly thrust into you. a weak moan left your lips and your nails dug into the skin of his back. you were never used to the sheer size of him, even if he was given to you just a few hours ago here you are, gasping for air as you clench around him.

“so beautiful, taking me so good,” he praised with a small groan. his tip nudged against your cervix, practically knocking the air left in your lungs straight out. he kept a hand on your leg, keeping you as close to him as possible.

with each deep thrust, he watched your every facial expression, watching as your mouth dropped open into a moan and as your eyes rolled into the back of your skull. he watched your lips try and form words, the only words you could moan out was his name:

“Leon,” you whined, dragging your nails down his back. he winced at the pain but he reveled in it, the way you’d claw at his back as he’d pound into you was better than any pain ever conflicted upon him. or when your teeth would sink into his shoulder, muffling your whines and moans.

the image only saturated his need.

you could feel his cock twitch inside of you and his hips began to roll against yours. still plagued by sleep, you buried your head into his shoulder, whimpering with each thrust. you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, locking your ankles around his waist to bring him closer.

you loved feeling his weight on top of you, keeping you pressed firmly into the mattress, that way you had nowhere to run. not like you’d ever want to, the pleasure he gives you when he’s on top of you like this is inexplicable.

his arms underneath you, pulling you to his chest as he brought you up with him. both of your jaws dropped open, this new position allowing the tip of his cock to press further into you. you cupped his cheek, breathing in his heavy gasps as you slowly began to roll your hips down into him.

your breasts were pushed up against his, sweaty bodies sticking together and the smell of sex filled the room. soft and gentle moans slipped past your lips, your hands grabbing at anything in reach; his shoulders, his face, his arms, just him.

“you’re so beautiful,” he groaned, gripping the back of your neck and forcing you to look down at him. your lips met him in a frenzy, your cunt squelching the base of his cock as you rocked your hips against his faster — desperately chasing that high.

your stomach was burning with need, and every part of your body from your toes to your neck was on fire. you’ve never burned for someone like you do for him. his hips jolted up to meet yours and you gasped into his mouth which allowed him to slide his tongue against yours.

he was meeting you halfway with his thrusts, a gasp of pleasure leaving your mouth with every single one.

“fuck, it’s too much,” you whined as his lips traveled down your neck, biting down on your shoulder and your collarbones — he wanted to leave a mark.

“you can take it,” he heaved, “can’t you, baby?” he urged, as his teeth scraped against the plump of your breast. a shiver rolled up your spine at both the pain and pleasure, either way you nodded ecstatically.

“yes! i can take it,”

he smirked wider, his hips thrusting up faster. he watched as your tits bounced against his chest, your head rolling back which let your frizzy hair fall over your shoulders. his eyes were glued to the love bites decorating your body. the bruises and the redness growing on his skin.

the image of your body was now forever painted in his mind. your thighs wrapped around him as your hips ground down into his thrusts. your puffy cunt taking him so well, his cock sheathing inside of you and out again. your juices soaking the tuft of hair surrounding the base of his cock. your breasts bouncing and your ribs poking out.

“oh Leon, i’m so close-“ you whined, wrapping your arms around him. one of your hands running up the back of his neck and into his brown hair, the other wrapped around his shoulders with nails digging into his skin.

“let go for me, baby.” he egged you on, teetering close to his high as well. he screwed his eyes shut, digging his fingers into the fat of your ass, helping you meet his thrusts.

you buried yourself into the crook of his neck, muffling your loud moans into his skin. the sound of wet slapping skin only got louder, along with the sound of needy moans and the headboard banging against the wall.

the fog in your mind only got heavier and stars danced in your vision. your legs clamped around his waist as you came undone around his cock. stars danced behind your vision as you called out his name in a chant.

he wasn’t too far behind, biting down on your shoulder as he shot his seed deep inside of you. hot and thick, coating your gummy walls and painting you as his.

he continued pulling your hips down into his, slowly and carefully to help you ride out both of your highs. you slumped against him, completely worn out. all the soreness came back in a flash and your eyes felt heavy. but you smiled, draping your arms around his shoulders and allowing his softening cock to stay inside of you.

you turned your right, met with the bright light of the sun and the most beautiful view ever. the sun high in the sky shining down on a field of green grass. birds flew around in the distance, gliding in the wind and twirling in the air. you watched as they flew up and up until they were out of sight.

you pulled back from leaning on his shoulder, cupping his cheek and guiding him to look at you. his eyes peeled open slowly, his pupils contracting against the bright light he was exposed to before dilating again as he caught sight of you hovering above him.

he brushed a strand of your hair behind your ear, smiling up at you.

“hi,”

you chuckled, “hi,”

he placed a deep kiss on your lips, sealing in the steamy morning you both shared. as he pulled away, he let his eyes stay shut for a moment, he wanted to mesmerize the feeling of your lips alone. he wanted to remember the feeling of your sticky body pressed to his. he wanted to remember the sound of your voice. he wanted to remember this moment. that way if he died tomorrow, he would be able to lay back and remember you.

“my body hurts,” you groaned, leaning back and taking him with you. as you both hit the mattress with a loud ‘puff’, he couldn’t help but smile.

“let me guess, you’re going to spend the whole time in bed,” he chuckled.

“what? i can’t enjoy my honeymoon? and my new house,” you smiled widely up at him. he cupped your cheek, smiling happily as he brushed your cheek. your smile faded as you nuzzled yourself into his palm, with a small sigh.

“you know, the moment i got home after that date with the froyo,” he began, licking over his dry lips. “i went home and began mapping out how your dream house would look,”

"really?" you smiled as you turned towards him, bunching the duvet up to your chin. he nodded and you gave him a small playful scoff, "and here i thought it was just a question,"

"well, it wasn't,"

your heart ached at the image of a young and blonde Leon sitting at his crowded desk, sketching out a house with the tip of his tongue sticking out the corner of his lip. you smiled at his confession, letting him plop down beside you as his arm wrapped around your waist to bring you against him.

“i was determined to make it happen,” he chuckled to himself, “i bought the property, hired construction workers, and interior designers. now that i think about it, i was so mean to them.”

you laughed at that, his story playing out in your head like a movie. you wondered how long it took and how much it all cost. though, he refused to tell you. he refused to tell you anything about the making of this house. you didn’t know about it until just a few weeks ago.

when he carried you out of the car bridal style with a blindfold around your eyes. he placed you onto the ground for a moment and you could hear the jingling of keys and the squeak of a door. when you stepped into the house it smelt stale, like wood and dust.

but when he took that blindfold off you were faced with something much better. you were face to face with your future — your dream. he mapped it out perfectly, just to your desires and nothing could ever be better. it was better than your dreams. so much better.

“the day of your uh other wedding,” he paused stifling a small nervous laugh as you giggled, “i was about to sell it. i was about to throw your dream away,” you frowned, both feeling guilty and saddened at the thought. he reached down under the covers, finding your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours.

“our dream…i was going to throw our dream away,” he laid his head down against the pillow, looking down at your hands as he ran his thumb over your delicate knuckles. “it wasn’t your fault, i just couldn’t stomach the thought of living or owning a house that was meant for you,”

“oh Leon,” you sighed.

“you didn’t know about the house, i never got to tell you and well it was too late to.”

you brought your joined hands to your lips, placing a kiss on his knuckles as you scooched closer to him. you didn’t go back to him because of the house, even if you did know about the house, you knew that you would have gone back to him for the sole purpose of being with him.

you could still be in that dainty old apartment and you’d be happy. you could be living in a studio apartment with him and you’d be happy. you could be living in a cardboard box with him and you’d be happy. as long as you were with him. home was where he was. Leon was home.

“the realtor convinced me not to, he told me a story similar to ours,” his other hand reached up, cupping your cheek and stroking the puffiness underneath your eyes.

“his story didn’t have a happy ending like ours but he told me, ‘it is never too late to be what you wanted to be.’” Leon sighed heavily, looking deep into your eyes. you looked at him attentively, eyes wide and eyelashes fluttering up at him. he smiled at you, finding the look on your face adorable, like a kid listening to a bedtime story.

“and well i wanted to be with you,”

your heart swelled with love and your features softened. you gave him a look of pure adoration, and every waking moment and every waking day you found yourself falling more and more deeply in love with him. from the moment you woke, to the moment you slept and into the dreams you inhabit, you loved him dearly.

your heart called for him in your strongest and weakest moments. your soul was tied to him and your every thought revolved around him.

Leon. Leon. Leon. he was all you knew and all you wanted. he was your dream, your prince charming, your fairytale. he was your everything. he held you in the palm of his hands and he didn’t even know it. from the moment you met and to this very moment now, laying in bed with limbs entangled — stealing kisses and whispering sweet nothing, you were his.

you wanted it to be him.

you wanted him to be your partner in crime. you wanted him to be your husband, your partner in life and death, the father to your children, the man you introduced to your parents, the man to give you his last name, the person you woke up to in the morning and fell asleep next to in the night, the sole owner of your heart and soul.

and now he is that. he is your partner in life and death, your husband, to father of your future children, the man you woke up to and fell asleep next to. he is that man.

“i’m glad it was you.”

(divider creds to @saradika ,, photos off of pinterest)

tags : @xoxoloveless @luvrgreyy @ynsvnte @satinwithsilk @child-chomper1 @porcelain-sea-shore @stefoooo @spfoah @chesue00 @daervannafia @puppyina @prettyntxhee @leonkennedygvrl @altissia-09 @leqonsluv3r @yuiopiklmn @folksriddle @squazmine @its0214-am @xqlenkdy @belovedcloud @beafart (loved ur lil note btw! it made me laugh) @admirxation @neverg0nnagivey0uup @fancyyme @marymustdie @bloodstainedbandaid @jeonmochi99-blog

notes: if you wanna be on my tag list pls message me or fill out the form below (just to make it easier on me :D)

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author notes: MY GOD! pt. 2 is done and this shit is LONG! literally i did not need to write this much but i hope you guys enjoyed this one and tysm for filling out the taglist i was so surprised to see so many people wanted to be tagged in my work i thank each and every one of you ToT!!

also, summer is officially here for me so expect me to be active much more :D! - V!

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy fic #leon kennedy fanfic #leon kennedy fluff #leon kennedy smut #resident evil #death island leon #resident evil 4 #resident evil 2 #resident evil 6 #chris redfield #claire redfield

[newluvrs]

PARTY 4 U [PT. 2]

Sungchan ₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎  mdni!! 18+ currently listening to: SOMETHING ABOUT US - DAFT PUNK word count: 4.9k bb note: sorry to Karina I watched the supernova mv in the middle of writing this

Two months later and you’re still kicking yourself in the ass.  It’s killing you to have so much of him and none of him at all.  You try and be as positive as you can, at least cherishing that this is the most time you’ve ever spent together.  But it’s not helpful, if anything it just makes it so much worse.  And Sungchan is such a romantic lover amongst all of the filth that takes place between the two of you.  Kissing you always, keeping eye contact with you when he gets the chance, holding you close as he fucks you, going as far as to hold your hands as he’s deep inside of you.  Worst of all he’s got such an awful possessive streak, and it shows in the way he holds you, the way he feels the need to mark you where only he can see.  It rips your heart in two the way he asks you if you’re his.

“You’re mine, right?”  

His voice always shakes as he asks it, and you always assume its from the pleasure, neglecting to hear the vulnerability in the way he asks.  And his heart rips in two at the way you always respond.  

“Yes Sungchan, all yours.”  

How can something so good feel so fucking awful.  But you’re in too deep to stop it, and you’re too selfish to let it go; to let him go.  Your friends have long since noticed whats happening between the two of you.  Shotaro holding his tongue about how terrible an idea it is, but he thinks that that’s something for the two of you to learn on your own, hopefully with a positive outcome.  And so the weeks go by like that, the two of you over at each other’s places several times a week, hanging out with your friends in the time in between.

That’s where you find yourself now: your hips propped up on a pillow with Sungchan seated deep within you.  His face is hid in the crook of your neck with your nails digging into the skin of his back, overwhelmed by how good he’s making you feel.  Everytime he lets out a groan you can’t help but clench around him.  He just sound so fucking good, and it’s all because of you.  

In the 2 months since the two of you have started this arrangement, Sungchan has become extremely familiar with your body and its reactions.  He knows that if he plays with you enough during foreplay, that you’ll get absolutely soaked.  He knows that you love the sound of his voice, the timbre of it right next to your ear making you shiver.  He knows that your cheeks burn when you hear the wet push and pull of him inside you, making you want to hide your face.  He knows that you love positions where you can feel all of him.  And he uses all of this knowledge to his advantage. Every. Single. Time.  A tap on your cheek brings you back to reality.

“You still with me baby?” 

God, the fucking pet names.  All you can give him is a nod of your head, too fucked out to speak. 

“Too much?” 

He slows down his pace as he says this, lips ghosting over yours.  And it feels so fucking good you can’t even think, too focused on feeling everything he’s giving you.  Not capable of words but managing a whimper.  

“It’s okay baby you can take it.”  

He uses his large hands to pull your hips flush against his as he says it, somehow reaching deeper.  He smirks at the way you tip your head back, cocky because he knows he’s making you feel good.  It’s obvious from the way your body responds to his, clinging to him tighter.  Everything he says always sounds so sweet but his touch is so rough, pressing bruises into your hips the way he tries to keep you positioned for him.  Sungchan’s got a terrible habit of manhandling you but you’re not complaining.  Sometimes you intentionally try and slip out of a position just to hear the way he says “I got you baby” as he tightens his grip on you, keeping you in place.  

In a moment of clarity you push a hand between both of your bodies to rub at your clit.  Sungchan notices this, immediately pouting before pushing to replace your hand with his own.  

“Just lay there and let me take care of you, look so pretty like this.”  

When he starts to rub your clit you know you’re not gonna last very long.  Everything is just too much and he’s fucking you too good.  You open your eyes to look between the two of you, watching how he plays with your clit as he pushes in and out of you.  The sight is filthy and when you bring your gaze to his it overwhelms you the amount of feeling that’s behind it.  You can feel the familiar tightening in your lower tummy, not even needing to warn Sungchan because he can already tell.  

“Gonna cum?”  

You let out a small hum at the question, your voice failing you at the moment.  In between how good he making you feel coupled with the way he’s watching you, it doesn’t take much before you’re clinging to him tighter as you let out cries of his name as you cum around him.  He talks you through it everytime as he chases his own high.  

“Did so good, y/n.  It’s all for me, right?  Just for me?”

There’s the possessiveness again, you tell him yes everytime, not thinking about the meaning behind the words.  He lets out a groan when you agree, loving how pretty you look when you cum and all because of him.  When he hits his climax he drops his head into the crevice of your shoulder as he lets out a full body shiver.  His grip tightening on your hips as he pushes as deep as he can into you and when you whine from the overstimulation it drives him crazy.

“y’ take it so good for me baby.”  

You can barely hear what he’s saying, but you can feel the way his teeth sink into your shoulder right after he says it as he fucks you through his high, releasing into the condom.  

When you’re both finished, you lay there panting together much like the first time, both trying to catch your breath.  You’re always nervous that it’ll feel awkward, and as a result you’re never the first one to start moving, waiting instead for Sungchan.  Like clockwork he pulls himself up from you, leaving a quick kiss on the available skin in front of him before detaching himself from you.  You would love to say that you have long since stopped reading into the tenderness of the way he treats you after you sleep together, but you would be lying.  

As you lay there staring at the ceiling, you play back every kiss, every gentle touch, all of it.  You tear yourself to pieces every time in the brief moment it takes him to retrieve a washcloth from the bathroom.  Sungchan pretends not to notice the pensive look on your face when he returns he’s seen it before and he’s scared that if he speaks too soon it’ll shatter whatever it is the two of you have.  Instead he settles for gently running the towel over your skin, wishing he could leave kisses in it’s wake.  When he’s finished, he tears you from your thoughts by quietly reminding you to use the bathroom, always sure to look out for you.  The brief moments you find yourself alone as you pee are for preparing yourself to watch him leave.  This whole “nonchalant lover” is way too fucking hard, you feel like you’re going crazy.  You take a deep breath before exiting your bathroom, trying to soothe yourself.  

You offer him a shy smile when you emerge as he stands to pull his clothes back on, bashful now after the not-so-sacred events that just took place.  When he turns, you pretend like your eyes don’t linger on him a little too long, with a little too much feeling.  You try and burn the sight of your nail marks permeating the surface of his back into your memory.  You like the contrast of the red swells against the otherwise unblemished skin.  Your heart aches when you recall you have no reason to feel this way, no reason to be possessive.  You force yourself to look away before he can turn back around again, moving to pull on your own clothes.  You clear your throat, willing your feelings away as you break the silence of your mutual post-hookup cleanup.  

“My birthdays coming up..” 

You know he already knows this, matter of fact he’s usually the one to bring up it’s existence first before you get the chance, but this year you beat him to the punch.  When he doesn’t respond you turn to look at him, watching him search for something in his phone before he proudly presents you with the calendar reminder in his phone.  You can’t fight off the smile that comes to your face when you see it.  

“I’ve had it marked since freshman year.”  

You pray to god that the heat in your bedroom conceals the blush that rises to your cheeks.  He really is not making any of this easier on you.  

“Well, I’m just letting you know because Yunjin’s throwing me a party this year..”

You pause before you ask your next question, swallowing the lump in your throat,

“can you make it?”  

He walks over to you and presses a kiss to your forehead as he grabs his keys, ready to leave you.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”  

You smile as you follow him to pull on his shoes at the entrance to your apartment, your mind now thinking of the date 2 weeks into the future.  You already know what you’re gonna wish for on your birthday.  Him.  Deep within you, you harbor a secret hope of some grand confession, maybe a kissing in the rain moment.  You don’t even like PDA.  You just like the idea of him realizing his feelings for you.  As he opens the door to leave he turns around to look at you one more time, like he just remembered something.  

“Oh yeah and plus, I already bought your gift a month ago.”  

He says it casually, like it’s the most normal thing in the world for him to do that for someone.  And it kills you.  You know deep down that this can only end one of two ways, but for now that’s a worry for a future you.  

-

“Would you mind if I asked out Sungchan?”  

The feeling that runs through you is that akin to being dropped in ice water, the shock of the question making you freeze. 

“Unless you two have a thing then-“

“We don’t.”

Karina flinches at the abruptness of your response, your tone of voice being just a little too loud and harsh to be normal, especially in contrast to the quiet environment of the library.  You clear your throat in an effort to come across like you don’t care.

“We don’t.. have a thing that is.”  

You look down at the schoolwork that lies between the two of you, hoping that she gets distracted and doesn’t press any further.  Karina is sweet, she’s kind and beautiful, and if your memory serves you correctly you can recall a time that Sungchan was interested in her in your sophomore year.  It’s been a week since you’ve last seen him, and her question makes you very aware of that, and even more aware of how you haven’t heard from him.  Her voice is small when she speaks up again, a little shier now.  

“I just thought he seemed really sweet.” 

You feel guilty now, firstly for unintentionally yelling at this poor girl, and secondly it’s starting to dawn on you that there’s a chance you could be ruining potential matches for Sungchan.  There’s an internal struggle within you, because you know that technically you do have a thing with Sungchan, and it’s existence is your fault.  Simultaneously, you can’t help but feel like as his friend, he deserves something more.. even if he’s not finding it with you.  The hope that something would change between the two of you is starting to dwindle, and now you have pretty Karina here.  Someone who you know he was interested in in the past, someone who is now sitting here and telling you that she is very much interested in him.  

“What is it you like about him?”

You’re still looking down when you ask the question, flipping through pages of your notebook to feign nonchalance.  You risk a glance at her as you say it, and you see her deep in thought, a smile coming to her face.  You wonder if you look the same when you think about him.  

“Hm.. I like that he’s himself, in all situations.  I like that in the few times we have spoke he’s always made an effort to be a friend.  He’s just very.. generous.”  

It stings a little to hear him described through the rose-tinted glasses of someone else.  You feel so selfish right now because in-fact, you don’t want to let him go.  You don’t even want to entertain the possibility.  But Karina is so sweet and who are you to stop him from being happy?  Sungchan is widely desired and by many people, you can’t help but feel like if it isn’t Karina today then someone else will come around tomorrow, someone who isn’t as kind as she is.  

“I think you should speak to him.”

You watch the way her eyes light up as you say it, the joy clear on her face.

“Really?”  The hope in her voice stings.

“I mean it, I could see if he isn’t busy now?” 

You don’t know why you’re doing this to yourself but as she excitedly nods you’re pulling out your phone, telling him to come see you in the library.  Internally, you hope that he doesn’t show, but Sungchan always shows up when you ask him to, always the reliable one.  Before you know it, he’s walking up to your table that’s tucked away in between the shelves full of books.  He already has a smile on his face, one that falters a bit when he sees Karina but you just take it for nerves.  He pulls out a chair next to you, setting his things next to yours, greeting the both of you as he does so. ��He retrieves a pastry from his bag and sets it in front of you, watching your expression.  You look from him, and then to Karina who’s watching the exchange in front of you.  

“I’m sorry Karina had I known you would be here I would have asked if you wanted anything.”  

He’s charming as ever as he says it, even when he’s apologetic.  You pick up on how he says he would have asked her, but he didn’t have to ask you because he already knows the sweet treats you favor.  She shakes her head as she announces that it’s okay, but you can’t help but feel like maybe she might misread things and so you push the pastry in front of her.  

“I’m actually not very hungry right now, Karina can have it.  Karina you like sweets right?”  

She smiles brightly at your offer, nodding her head as she starts to eat the treat.  You look at him and offer him a smile as a way to say “see?”, but when you look at him he just looks confused.  The air takes on an awkward tone, no one really speaking after the first exchange.  You speak up in an effort to shift the conversation.  

“I’m actually tutoring Karina in applied calculus right now.. we’re prepping for a final right now.”

“is that so? I didn’t know you tutored.”

Sungchan takes out his own things as he says it, looking at you interested as ever, encouraging you to go on.

“I’m not that great, but she’s a quick learner.”  

“We’re struggling with polynomials right now, but y/n is very patient.”  

You smile at her compliment, telling her a polite thank you.  

“Are you coming to y/n’s birthday party?”  

When he addresses her her face lights up, but she still tries to maintain a calm energy.  She nods her head instead of speaking, mouth presently occupied with eating the pastry, hoping that he understands her.  

“It’ll be great to have you there, y/n deserves a big celebration full of friends.”  

You roll your eyes at the compliment he throws you, catching the way Karina hangs onto how he says it’ll be great to have her there.  You feel Sungchan place his hand on your thigh from under the table, he gives it a gentle squeeze and your body is set alight.  As you observe her giddiness, the touch makes you feel guilty.  You start to think they’re not gonna be able to talk with you still in their presence, and an idea comes to mind.  Admittedly it doesn’t sit quite right with you, but to be truthful you don’t want to be near them if it means watching Karina flirt with Sungchan.  It hurts too bad to watch her and be reminded of yourself.  

“Actually, Sungchan you aced applied calc last semester right?”  

Absentmindedly he nods his head, hand still placed on your thigh, trailing up a little further.  You choke on a cough as you try and shake his hand off.  

“You remember polynomials?”  

He gives your thigh one last squeeze before pulling his hand away reluctantly, humming in agreement.  You hold your breath before you ask the next question, not sure what outcome you want the most, for him to agree or not.  

“Do you mind teaching Karina?  I just can’t explain it that great and I’m not feeling super well.”  

He brings the same hand that was previously on your leg up to your forehead, checking your temperature.  His concern makes your chest ache, especially since you know your lying.  

“Do you want me to take you home?”  

You watch Karina’s expression as he asks it and she’s looking away like she’s witnessing something she’s not supposed to and you panic, standing abruptly as you start packing your things.  

“I’ll be fine to make it home myself, but do you mind staying with Karina? She could really use the help.”  

You shoot her a reassuring smile, trying to convey to her that you’re trying to give them time alone.  Sungchan looks from you, to her, and then back to you with an expression you can’t read.  

“If you’re not feeling well then I can help her.”  

You nod your head, finishing packing your bag as you feel his hand lingering on your lower back.  You pull away from him and bid them both a quick goodbye as they both wish for you to feel better.  You don’t notice but Karina does, the way Sungchan’s eyes watch for you even after you’ve already left their sight, the hand that was touching you still flexing like he was reaching for something.

-

When you make it back home, you pace back and forth in your apartment, picking at your nails.  You want to run back, want to tell Karina that no she can’t ask him out because the two of you are together.  But he stayed there with her when you left the two of them.  Maybe he does like her, and maybe what you have is over.  Of course it’s just like you to dig your own grave. 

When the nerves and the overthinking don’t settle, you decide to jump in the shower.  It’s barely midway through the day and truly an odd time for a shower but you don’t know what else to do with yourself.  As you take off your clothes, you catch your reflection in the mirror and what you see hurts so bad.  Faded marks from Sungchan left where only you can see.  It’s been a week since you last saw him so they’re starting to wear off, and usually he’s always quick to renew them.  Your natural state has just been walking around like that, they remind you of tattoos but a little sweeter.  Except as you look at them now you’re reminded that tattoos are permanent, not like the fading blue hues staring back at you in the mirror.

You had asked Sungchan once about why he liked to hide them so much.  That night he lingered a little longer, when you came back from your ritualistic pee it shocked you to see him still sprawled out on your bed.  Instead of questioning it you joined him, moving slowly and gently like if you move too fast it’ll scare him away.  When you settled next to him, he wrapped his arms around you, moving so he rested his head against your chest.  His fingers lightly traced the marks he left, delicately so as not to hurt you.  The intimacy made you feel dizzy, heart beating quickly in your chest, he could no doubt hear it right now.  Testing your boundaries you bring your hand up to play with his hair, just trying to soothe where you had fucked it up.  You watch him as he stares at the marks on you, deep in thought.  

“Why do you always put them where only I can see?”

You didn’t mean anything behind the question, it was a genuine curiosity of yours.  You had your theories, shamefully the one that took precedence in your mind was maybe he had wanted to hide what it is that happened between you two.  A less harmful one being that maybe he just liked those parts of you the most, that maybe he didn’t put much thought into the placement.  His actual response made you feel a little too tender, the intimacy choking you.  

“Because they’re only meant for you.”  

That answer stings more when you consider how before you and Sungchan got involved in any of this you confided in him about your dislike for prying eyes in your relationships.  You felt like the connection you have with someone else is sacred, and it’s more special if only you see it.  Thinking back to it now as the water cascades down your body you wish there was a way for you to scrub clean all that you had done.  Maybe then it would be easier to forget, maybe then it would be less painful.

When you jump out of the shower you stare at your phone.  You’re not sure what you’re hoping for, all you know is that you wanted to hear from him, maybe it’s best that you didn’t.  As you move to the kitchen to start prepping for dinner in an effort to give yourself something to do, you notice that the weather is picking up, a light drizzle heard against the windows.  Mindlessy, you wash and cut vegetables, your mind still preoccupied with thoughts of Sungchan.  When there’s a knock on your door you’re a little startled, not expecting any company.  In your daze you don’t check the peephole, just throwing open the door and you’re met with Sungchan wet from the rain.  

“Sungchan?”

When the initial shock settles you step aside, opening the door further for him, he steps in and you move to grab a towel but as you turn to leave he grabs your wrist.  You look down at where he grabs your wrist, when you look back at him he lets your hand slip from his grasp.  He seems off, and you’re feeling awkward, not quite able to see his face with his expression concealed by the damp hair in his face.  To break the silence, you say the first thing that comes to mind.

“Why didn’t you just use the spare key if you were coming?”  You try and laugh off the tension, but it doesn’t sit right in the air.   

“Why did you tell Karina that we weren’t a thing?”

His question cuts through the dead air, and straight through you.  You’ve never seen him this way, brash and irritated, dare you say a little hurt.  Sungchan was always bright, never once did you see him display a negative emotion other than crying during films.  This version of him is unfamiliar to you.  

“Because we’re not.”

You look down at your feet as you say it, shifting your weight from one foot to the other nervously.  You’re very aware of your bare legs right now, your sleep shorts doing very little to cover you.  Normally you wouldn’t care but right now you feel so exposed.  You look back up at him and for the first time in this conversation, you finally see his face.  He’s frowning, looking at you in disbelief, like he can’t believe what it is he just heard. 

“You know what y/n, I don’t get you.”  

“I thought you liked her.”

He scoffs when you say it, laughing incredulously, tongue poking the inside of his cheek now.  

“Are you serious?”

“Why are you mad at me?”

You can’t help the harsh tone to your words because now you’re irritated.  You thought you were just doing him a favor.  A glare makes itself present on your face and you think to yourself how you’ve never talked to him this way.  He hesitates before he says the next part, looking down at his hands and then at you like he’s reaching for the right words.  He brings his hands to his face, rubbing at his temples frustratingly before blurting out his next words.

“Because I don’t know how else to get through to you that I like you. We sleep together, I see you several times a week, I drop everything when you need me, do you think that’s just a thing that normal friends do?”

You stare at him as the words settle in the air, he’s watching you with a frown on his face and you can read the genuine frustration laced in his words.  You stand there, shocked, like you didn’t hear the words he just said or are just plain out refusing to.  You shake your head, turning your back to him, lips pursing.

“Don’t say stuff you don’t mean.”

“That’s what I’m talking about.  What is it gonna take for you to believe me, what else do I have to do to show you.”

He walks in front of you as he says it, taking your hands in his own now, pleading with you.  You feel the coolness of his palms from the rain and you want to warm him up.  You want to invite him inside with you for the night where the both of you can just exist together.  But all of the feelings taking place between the two of you is just two much and you don’t know what to do or say to make you come down from them.  You pull your hands away from his and wrap your arms around yourself.  

“I can’t do this anymore.”

The words fall from your lips abruptly and quietly, spoken like a whisper.

“What do you mean?”

His voice is equally as quiet, but more hesitant now, all the fire gone.  Sungchan reaches out for you again and you pull away before he’s able to touch you. 

“I hate this so much, it’s too much. I hate all of it.”

It stings when you say it but you know it’s true, this whole agreement is eating you alive.  Every touch of his is all consuming and overwhelming and you can’t sit in the same space as him anymore without feeling like your drowning in your feelings for him.  When he speaks his voice breaks, sounding more hurt than angry.

“You’re the one who said ‘let’s keep it casual’.”

You don’t think enough about how you choose your next words, and the second they’re out you wish you could take them back.  

“Well, I never should have kissed you.  I never should have let myself believe that I could- that we could, ever have been together.”  

The silence that follows is painful as you take in your own words.  You hear Sungchan swallow thickly in the quiet space between the two of you as you finally look up at him.  

“Is that how you really feel?”

His eyes are red-rimmed and the words fall from him akin to that of a hurt little boy.  You wish you could reach out and hold him and tell him that you didn’t mean it.  To take his face in your hands and kiss his tears away.  But you fucked up, and you can’t come back.  You think back to how in a week you’ll be a full year older but you’re still making the same dumbass mistakes.  As he turns to open your door you realize how the two of you never even left your front entrance.

“Sungchan-“

The last thing you hear is the sound of your voice breaking as Sungchan gently closes the door behind him, not even slamming it which is arguably more painful.  Now encompassed in the silence of your apartment and looking at the wet shoe prints from where he just stood, you let out a sob, letting the consequences of your actions sink in.  

#riize x reader #riize smut #sungchan smut #sungchan x reader

[paradiseprincesss]

don't wanna break up again - jackson rippner x reader

masterlist

note: this was supposed to be a short drabble...sigh. anyway, fic 3 out of 13 for my little eternal sunshine album collection mwahhahaha.

summary: jackson happens to falls in love with his targets girlfriend, and he sees how badly she's being mistreated. even though he has to kill his target for work reasons, he decides that he's going to also save the woman he'd been falling for, too.

word count: 3.2k

warnings: 18+ mdni, murder, toxic/abusive relationship, cheating (not by jackson), domestic violence, kissing, swearing, soft!dark jackson, implications to sex but no actual smut

jackson sighed as he watched from the drivers seat of his blacked out car, staring up at your apartment window that was wide open - no curtains drawn.

you see, he was given the task to assassinate your boyfriend, as he worked a government job and jackson needed a few files wiped, per se. he knew that your boyfriend, specifically, would have access to these files, as he worked in a certain department, and jackson was set on having him wipe said files, then killing him afterwards.

he'd been stalking this man for months, watching his every move, learning his daily routines and usual habits, but he hadn't actually caught a glimpse of you until last week. at first, he thought that you were some chick that the man he was stalking was hooking up with, but he soon discovered that you were actually his girlfriend.

jackson was disgusted - not with you of course, but with your boyfriend. he has seen that sleazy, pathetic excuse of a man bring over multiple different women in the span of the last few months, but he had no idea that he had a whole girlfriend on the side. it made him scoff, this man was a joke.

and if he was being honest, he felt a little bad for you. you were beautiful, there was no denying that, it was a fact. with your gorgeous hair and your pretty face, you were the definition of stunning, but apparently your boyfriend had wandering eyes. jackson didn't have a girlfriend, as he was much too involved with his job to keep up with a relationship, but if you were his, he'd never treat you this way.

he'd spoil you, take care of you, and protect you the best he could. he always wondered why the men who looked like they were barely clinging to life got the prettiest girls - just to mistreat them and cheat on them. so, he watched. he watched as your boyfriend seemed to be screaming at you about something, and you stood there with tears streaming down your face, shaking your head.

"you're just too much!" your boyfriend screamed at you, and you broke down into tears.

you'd caught him with another woman in your bed earlier on in that day, and he was losing it on you; as if it was your fault. this wasn't the first time that the two of you had this conversation, it was a repetitive, toxic cycle. he'd cheat on you, you'd scream and ask him why, and he would gaslight you into staying.

jackson couldn't make out what you were saying to each other from his car, but he knew that he felt sympathetically towards you. that was rare for him, he almost never felt sympathy, but this was almost too much, even for someone who killed others for a living.

jackson watched as you slammed the door of the bedroom, now glancing over to the bedroom window, and he saw you sobbing on the bed. his heart broke a little for you, honestly, you were too pretty to be putting up with that. as you got into bed and flicked off the light, he noticed your boyfriend turning up the sound on the tv in the living room.

as you fell asleep crying, he turned up the tv to drown it out. even jackson thought this guy was heartless, he didn't want to hear his own girlfriend cry over the fact that he'd cheated, so he drowns out her sorrows with some bullshit tv show? gross.

jackson kept on stalking the man, but noticed that after roughly an hour and a half, the bedroom lights flicked on again. you couldn't sleep. it seemed you were having yet another sleepless night, and it was taking its toll on you. jackson sighed to himself and put his car into drive, going back to his hotel for the night.

however, it seemed he was going to have a sleepless night as well. he couldn't shake the thought of you and the way you were being treated. he didn't know why he cared, it wasn't like him to, but he just did. jackson had dated his fair share of women, and sure, he may not have been the best boyfriend but he wasn't anything like the man you were dating.

that night, jackson fell asleep in the very early hours of the morning, after the thoughts of you lingered in his mind all night. he'd woken up a little later on in the day, not particularly in a rush as he knew your boyfriends usual routine by now, and he didn't feel the need to watch his absolute every move at the moment. he woke up hungry, and decided he was going to get some food at a local cafe in the area.

so, he drove his car for about twenty minutes, google mapping a good place to eat, and eventually he found one. he parked his car and walked into the cafe, ordered what he wanted, and sat down as he enjoyed his meal in solitude. as he was scrolling through the messages on his phone after breakfast, he looked up to see who had walked into the quiet, little cafe.

it was you.

the girl from last night, and the week before. the girl who'd managed to plague the infamous jackson rippners thoughts. he glanced at you quickly, trying not to be obvious. he then went right back to scrolling on his phone as he pretended not to notice you. as you ordered your usual morning coffee, you waited by the counter for the barista to finish making it.

you wore a pretty sundress and strappy heels, with your hair and makeup done nicely, accentuating your beauty. jackson couldn't help but notice how good you looked - even last night when you were crying you looked pretty, and he'd always liked a pretty crier.

he must've been staring for a bit too long, however, as he noticed you smiled politely at him. whoops, he definitely had been staring for way too long. he smiled back at you a little awkwardly; you know - that smile you do when you make eye contact with an attractive stranger. after being caught very obviously checking you out, and he couldn't help but say something.

"i'm sorry," he said with a soft laugh, "you're just really pretty."

this made you blush a little, and you smiled sweetly at the handsome stranger. "oh, thank you. you're very sweet."

"ah, just pointing out the obvious." he says back.

jackson gets up and gets ready to leave, as he feared he may of said a little too much. i mean, you don't go around flirting with your next murder victims girlfriend.

"wait," your soft voice said to him, "i think i saw you yesterday, outside of my boyfriends place."

his heart dropped - had you seen him stalking your boyfriend? hopefully not. he laughed nervously, trying to muster up some form of a believable excuse, but you spoke before he had a chance to.

"sorry, i swear i'm not a stalker," you laugh, "small world, s'all."

he was a little confused - were you not aware that he was parked out there for hours watching the two of you? going along with it, he smiled and shook his head. "don't worry, you don't look like the stalker type," he joked, "i was just waiting for my girlfriend, but we had an argument so she ended up going to bed and bailing on our plans."

his lie came out flawlessly - easily believable, he thought as he knew that you would most likely fall for this excuse. your smile faltered a little, but you tried to play it off.

why was he calling you pretty if he had a girlfriend?

your thoughts echoed in your mind, but you tried to ignore them; maybe he was just one of those guys.

"ah, gotcha," you say quietly, "sounds annoying - trust me, i get it. anyways, sorry for prying."

"oh, it's fine. relationships take a lot work, right?" he says softly, and you nod. "something like that." you say back, and he noticed your demeanour change slightly. you seemed almost depressed, like a full on 180 from the girl you were five minutes ago.

he watched you silently for a few more seconds, before speaking up again. why couldn't he just let it go?

"are you-" he paused with a sigh, "are you okay? i mean, i'm not trying to pry or anything but i could see him yelling at you and y'know, just figured i'd make sure you were alright incase anything was happening."

you look at him a small smile, "yeah, um, everything is fine. we just argue sometimes. shit happens."

he listens your words with a small nod, "ah, gotcha. well, it was nice talking to you, maybe i'll see you around again sometime." he tells you, and with that, he was walking out the door.

the next few weeks were pretty uneventful, jackson followed your boyfriend around everywhere, but he still needed him to delete those incriminating files he was after. however, this week was the week jackson decided he was going to go in for the kill - he'd learned all of your boyfriends little quirks, hobbies, behaviours, and routines. he could easily sneak in, threaten him, then murder him.

nightfall came around, and jackson was parked outside in his car again. he waited until it was nearly midnight so that others wouldn't see him sneak in, as a majority of people were asleep by twilight on a tuesday night. stealthily, he made his way through the lobby of the apartment building, and up the stairs as the elevator required a resident key.

he made his way up to the seventh floor, pushing past the emergency exit doors as he quietly walked the dimly lit hallways. now standing face to face with your boyfriends apartment - unit 739 - he was about to break in; he knew your boyfriend never locked his doors at night. as his hand reached to grab at the unlocked door handle, he suddenly heard a female voice sobbing from the other side.

oh. you were here.

being as quiet as he could, he listened to see what was going on inside, as he was originally under the impression your boyfriend was all alone tonight.

"stop fucking with my head, i can't take it anymore!" you sobbed, and the sound of some sort of glass shattering could be heard in the background, "and stop fucking throwing things at me!"

jackson was immediately concerned. was your boyfriend hurling glass objects at you? listening in once more, he could hear your boyfriend incoherently yelling something in the background, but it seemed you were closer to the door than he was. from the sounds of it, at least.

"i made it so easy!" you screamed, "i spent so much on therapy, i worked on my own co-dependancy but you didn't even try!"

"what was i supposed to do, huh?" your boyfriend yelled back, "i went to one session with you after you fucking hassled me about it for months!"

"because you keep cheating on me! and when you get mad at me, you hurt me!" you cry out, and your boyfriend could be heard yelling back at you.

jackson knew this technically was none of his business, his only job was to kill your boyfriend for his own selfish reasons, but he couldn't just leave you here. sure, jackson was borderline sociopathic and barely had a heart, but he couldn't help but think of how much better he'd treat you if you were his.

you were always on his mind, he was fascinated with you. the more he got little glimpses of you, the more he wanted to know you, to take care of you, and to save you.

sighing to himself, he slammed the door open and made his way inside. it went quiet as you and your boyfriend realized someone had perhaps just broken in, and as soon as jackson got to the living room, he pointed a gun to your boyfriend.

he looked at you for a moment, and you looked terrified - but not of him. you were covered in bruises and scrapes, and your makeup was running from your tears. you almost looked relieved to see jackson there, gun pointed at your abusive, piece of shit boyfriend.

he said your boyfriends name aloud, and proceeded to give him commands as he pointed his gun directly at your boyfriends head, finger ghosting the trigger.

"the files regarding the mass murders on fight 577," he spoke lowly, "i need those erased, and i know you have access to them on your computer."

"hey man, i think you got the wrong house." your boyfriend says, putting his hands up as he looks between you and jackson, "just get out of here and i won't call the cops, swear man. you didn't see nothing, and i ain't seen nothing."

"delete the files before i pull the trigger and blow your fucking brains out." jackson threatened, and the gun made a small click sound.

"a-alright, jesus christ, bro." your boyfriend said wearily, and he picked his laptop up off the coffee table, opening it.

"sweetheart," jackson says as he turns to look at you, gun still aimed at your boyfriend, "could you do me a favour and stand here beside- actually no, stand behind me, please."

you look at him nervously, and he noticed you were still scared. he didn't blame you, though. first, your boyfriend was beating you and throwing glass at you, and now a man who you'd recognized had broken in, and had a gun pointed at your boyfriend; it must've been traumatizing for you, he thought.

"i'm not going to hurt you." he tells you softly, and hesitantly, you make your way over to his side, stepping behind him as he looks back at your boyfriend.

his tone suddenly shifted into something a lot more menacing as he spoke to your boyfriend again. "show me the file is deleted, or i'll kill you right here, right now."

with trembling hands, your boyfriend showed jackson the laptop with the files permanently erased. "s-see, all gone." your boyfriend said, but jackson still had his gun pointed to him.

"i'm going to need you to turn around," he tells you softly, "this will only take a second, alright sweetheart?"

you nod, and turned yourself around as you heard a single gunshot go off. panic surged through your veins as you weren't sure what to do now, but a gentle hand on your back brought you down for a moment.

"you're okay, you're safe now." his soft voice comforted you, and he takes your hand in his as he walks with you out of the apartment.

the next hour or two goes by in a blur, you aren't really sure what happened; it was a lot for you. all you could remember was jackson gently guiding you to his car, and whispering soft, comforting words to you. then, the two of you drove to some unknown location - about an hour out from the city, and now you were here, in some random hotel room.

jackson was currently rummaging around the drawers in the room while you were sitting on the bed, still trying to process. you didn't understand why you let yourself be whisked away by some stranger (murderer), but you did. to be fair, he did kill the one man who was reigning terror on your life. jackson noticed you spacing out once more, and he sat by your side, putting a gentle hand on your thigh.

"you alright, sweetheart?" he asks sweetly.

you look over at him and sigh, "yeah, m'sorry. i-i just..." you try to get the words out, but he shushed you.

"i understand," he tells you, "i know that was a lot, but you're safe now."

"who even are you?" you ask suddenly, "i'm assuming the whole 'girlfriend' thing was a coverup or something."

he nods, hand still resting on your thigh. "my name is jackson rippner - yes my parents hated me and yes i killed them." he said, but he smiled when he noticed your reaction, "i'm just joking, sort of. anyways, i work in a certain field, you could say, and your douchebag ex-boyfriend had some information that could potentially have me indicted. i needed that information gone, so i had to figure out a way to get it erased."

as he explained it, you felt your mind spin. "but do you have a girlfriend?" you asked.

he let out a small laugh, and looked at you with a raised brow. "that's the part that you're concerned about?"

"yeah," you say, smiling a little, "would you rather i be concerned about the other stuff?"

"no," he says, "obviously not, but since you're wondering, no. i don't have a girlfriend."

you nod, humming in response. for a moment, it was quiet; just the two of you sitting beside each other as the reality of the last few hours set in. honestly, it was peaceful in the most fucked up way. "were you stalking me or...?" you ask.

"nope, i didn't even get a glimpse of you until a few months in," he explained with a sigh, "but i saw you, and i dunno - i just saw the way he was treating you, and i thought it was pretty fucked up."

"yeah," you agreed, "in a weird way, i'm grateful for you doing...what you did."

"i'm glad," he smiles softly with that signature charming smile that made your heart melt, "i meant it when i said you're really pretty, by the way."

you blushed and looked over at him, his blue eyes staring right back at you. jackson was still jackson at the end of the day, and he was a little unhinged, so if you were to let's say - reject him - he would definitely force you into being with him either way. he would totally hold you hostage, but he didn't have to worry about that because you seemed pretty into him, too.

you leaned in subconsciously, and he leaned in too. before you knew it, his soft lips were on yours, and you were wrapping your arms around his neck and he kissed you.

"let me treat you right," he whispered against your lips breathlessly, "i'd do anything for you, i'd spoil you, get you whatever you wanted. you don't even have to work, just stay home and wait for me."

the thought of being his little housewife was a major turn on, if you were being honest. "mm, yeah?" you whisper back, and he pulls you into another heated kiss, wrapping his arms around you.

"i'd never break your heart like he did, sweetheart. you're going to be mine forever." he whispered, kissing your neck softly while he pushed you down onto the bed. "i'll spoil you rotten and get you cockdrunk every fucking night, how does that sound, honey?"

"sounds like the dream." you say, and he smirked at you softly - your heart would never break again as long as you were his; he'd make sure of it.

taglist (join here!): @bloodandglitter207, @humbuginmybones, @futurefamousdeadmusician, @jonathancraneslittlepet,

@abigailinterrupted, @kpopgirlbtssvt, @ll4n4, @ilovetoxicfictionalmen, @the-buddy-things,

@ellebelleshelby, @aprilsfrog05, @wiseyouthinfluencer

#cillian fanfic #cillian murphy #cillian fic #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy fanfic #cillian x fem!reader #cillian x reader #cillian x y/n #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy x oc #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy x fem!reader #cillian murphy x f!reader #jackson rippner #jackson rippner x reader #jackson rippner x y/n #jackson rippner x you #jackson rippner x f!reader #jackson rippner x female reader #jackson rippner fic

[hypnoneghoul]

Thoughts of a Newly summoned Phantom, one not accepted into the pack immediately due to the loss of Aether. They're all in grieving and can't automatically make that connection. It's not intentional, but it happened.

He finds cowbell, cautious, he thought all the ghouls were the ones in the den. Both quints, a semi sense of understanding each other while still being so far from it. I think Phantom enjoys the creature that is Cowbell, and over time he's the one who gives him that hug

yes!!! from the very first time phantom heard the sounds that the siblings call a ghost, he knew it wasn't a ghost. first of all, that was silly, but most importantly phantom knew what it sounded like

it was a sound of a lonely ghoul. he knew those wails because he heard them often in the pit, most often coming from his own mouth

he didn't have anything better to do and he knew how bad loneliness sucks, so he decided to find that lonely crying thing. he managed and they started hanging out

cowbell was surprised by how phantom treated it like an equal right away and phantom wad surprised that cowbell seemed to actually care enough to spend time with him. they became friends and they started learning more about each other. cowbell having finally found someone who would listen to it starts to speak and open up. first few weeks phantom didn't even know cowbell could speak, because it simply stopped doing so when every time it'd open its mouth it'd be told to shut up or simply ignored

phantom thinks it's voice is pretty

and after some time, even when phantom gets accepted into the band pack and gets some loving from them, he doesn't stop caring about cowbell. the others ask where it is that he sneaks out all the time, but he doesn't tell them. not yet, anyway. after some time, though, he feels like he's not enough for cowbell, even though it's the happiest it's ever been having a true friend

phantom invites it to his room in the den, all cozy and truly his. cowbell doesn't remember when's the last time it spent any time in comfort. it nearly sobs when it sinks into phantoms plush bed

it does sob when the quintessence ghoul wraps his arms around it and hugs it. cowbell clings to him, shaking, and cries into his hair for hours

#hypnone's asks #hypnone scribbles #the band ghost #nameless ghouls #phantom ghoul #cowbell ghoul

[horrorknife]

babe, this wouldn't be the first time it will not be the last time there's no parasol that could shelter this weather

#chainshipping #saw #adam faulkner stanheight #lawrence gordon #saw 2004 #saw franchise #saw movie #song is oil and water by incubus #'chainshipping is a healthy relationship' EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER #post bathroom theywould be the most dysfunctional and horrible couple and i think thats awesome and sexy of them. #adam is spiteful and angry and lawrence is obstinate and bitchy. they live in two extremely different worlds #i just wish more ppl would willingly explore the wildly antagonistic nature of their relationship bc its intoxicating to me #to me they are like insanely possessive of each other but they have these idealized versions of one another that dont fully live up to the #person in their head #they are riddled with problems and issues but at the root of it all they care for each other and understand each other in a way no one else #ever will #so they cling to each other and learn to love each other and learn to grow together. but it takes a long time #and akgdmfglf i have such a Specific Vision for apprentice adam in my head like . most of my chainshipping ideas involve apprentice adam bc #i just love the concept too much #anyway apprentice chainshipping goes absolutely crazy. you should try it sometime #if youve read all these tags im kissing you with tongue. #my art

[meredithbeckham]

i will meet you on another planet if the plans change

be on your own way, daughter.

#the100edit #the 100 #bellamy x octavia #bellamyblakeedit #octaviablakeedit #blake siblings #* #octavia and bellamy going from all the other has in the world #and each in their own ways fighting that and clinging to it in equal measure #to octavia choosing peace and her family on skyring with the desperate hope that one day she will see bellamy again #and the faith that if nothing else he will know she was happy and know what he meant to her and that will bring him peace #bellamy letting octavia go in s1 even though it goes against everything he is and trusting he will see her again #how desperate each of them are at the end of s4 to see each other again and begin to repair what was so horribly damaged #bellamy losing octavia just when he had her again #the parallels in this relationship the extremes #the letting each other go and finding each other again #learning to love and extend that fierce blake loyalty to other people and each of them being better for it #how even still there is always a part of them reserved for the other and they can never be truly free of each other #there's just nothing like them you know????

[dykedivorce]

if any other bitch in konoha had been gay apart from sasuke none of this would have happened to my son naruto.

#pussy from the turbotron edgelord 3000 and his whole life went up in flame. NOT worth it #no but fr it's insane how he bamboozled every fan into thinking he was so interesting and cool and badass when . #at the point im at in shippuden hes by far the least interesting of the main characters. one track mind (vengeance) and no depth beyond that #like the other characters rn : sakura coming in to her own ; finding her path and her strength + sharing a connection so deep with naruto #over their common loss that they both just Know although they absolutely cant talk about it #yamato: the only survivor of orochimaru's monstrous experiments on children; kakashi's stand in thats so different from kakashi #it makes you wonder what it would have been like with him as their teacher from the start; #a mystery thats clearly trying his best but whose mission truly is A Lot #SAI: A BRAINWASHED SPY A PAWN FOR A SECRET ORGANISATION WHO CLINGS TO HIS HUMANITY NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES HES BEEN PUNISHED FOR IT #WHO FELL IN LOVE WITH NARUTO FOR MAKING HIM REALIZE HOW DEEP THINGS COULD BE FELT AND HOW DEEP RELATIONSHIPS COULD RUN #WHO HAS BEEN DRAWING A BOOK FOR HIS DEAD BROTHER FOR YEARS EVEN IF HE'S FORGOTTEN WHAT HIS BROTHER LOOKS LIKE #WHO DECIDED TO SPARE SASUKE BECAUSE HE'S LOVED. WHO JUST WANTS TO LEARN HOW TO LIVE A HUMAN LIFE. #MOST AUTISTIC CODED CHARACTER OF ALL TIMES HAS NEVER SUCCESSFULLY MASKED A DAY IN HIS LIFE. #sasuke: sasuke #anyway. im not touching on naruto because i could be here for days #BUT while sasuke on his own so far is very whatever. the narusasu dynamic is truly one for the ages #bc i just saw the ep where sasuke manages to see kyuubi inside naruto and wooshes him away and it's very like. #oh so hes literally seeing naruto's demons and banishing them even as hes telling naruto they dont matter to each other anymore. #oh ok cool cool cool cool this feels normal and not something to obsess over #jesus christ why am i typing all this. who here cares #naruto thoughts

[ardate]

Came home from my futuristic LARP and I'm not getting over it, emotions are still brewing so loud. Wish I could go back, and had had more time,,

#misc #just me rambling #larp #you don't understand i'm going thru it #my character was a big capitalist asshole with a softer side #and i grew attached to this jerk. playing out his subtle evolution was so satisfying #and their relationships with the other characters were so fun to play out #especially their hate and deep love with the outspoken anti-capitalist of the spaceship #literally everything was seperating them but they still fell for each other somehow. and somehow it was good #when you're clinging to life in a stranded dying ship in outer space and learn to let go of the illusion of control

[saturnsorbits]

Thinking about sleeping with Gojo because it’s the only way either of you can be close to Geto anymore…

#You can almost see it sometimes… #In the way Gojo smiles… Something casual and laid back; a cry so far from who he is that there’s no question who he learned it from. #Or the way he says your name: soft; with rounded consonants that make you squeeze shut your eyes and think of another. #You know he does it too… #See’s the subtlety of Geto’s politeness’ in your tone and tries to remember- #clinging onto the tiny pieces of the man who abandoned you both. #He’s still there - you see… #Scattered between you in the way you are… #So ingrained in who you’ve become that sometimes it’s hard to distinguish… #Hard to tell he’s gone at all. #But he is… #Gone. #And all you have left is the bruises of his love and the subtle flickers of a person you no longer know - #reflected in someone who isn’t him. #You don’t love each other - Gojo and you… #But what choice do either of you have

[shisurus]

this panel from the world guide of falin being surrounded by other girls while laios is all alone kills me because. that's it. that's the key difference in their journeys.

as laios states himself, he left the village in order to create a home for him and falin elsewhere. a home that won't collapse due to others' hatred and fears like their old home did, a home where they are loved and accepted unconditionally. but as he soon found out, even before earning money, or having walls surrounding him and a roof above his head- what he so earnestly desired was to meet other people who will accept him for who he is as well. instead, he kept being tormented by those around him, shunned and sneered at. his loneliness quickly became all-consuming until he truly had nothing left except for the monsters in the pages of his book, but even that became a target of mockery and destroyed. that's why ever since the day he left the village, he never felt that he truly made the right choice. so he kept running away: unable to resist and unable to accpet.

and an ocean away from him there was his sister, who never managed to fully fit in herself. but unlike him, she met a person who became a home to her and learned what a true friendship was for the first time in her life. and laios clearly realizes that too when he finally sees falin and marcille together, he can tell his sister obtained the greatest treasure there is on her own- the exact thing he never managed to find anywhere himself, thus coming back empty-handed to the sister he left the village for.

but when you read this part of the manga, laios's focus is on falin's loneliness, not his own. he talks about how it hurts thinking about all those moments she had to spend alone because he wasn't there for her, so it almost sounds like he's the one who couldn't bear her suffering and therefore decided to not let her go again. but we do get a glimpse of their first meeting after that almost-decade long separation in the manga, and then we see more of that in the world guide and daydream hour- and it becomes abundantly clear that it was falin who was trying to protect and save him from this pit of loneliness and depression he was in.

so instead of just doing his best to atone for leaving her behind in the village and making sure she is never lonely again, it might also be that laios was desperately clinging to the one person in the world he felt that accepted and loved him unconditionally. those words he used to describe his motivation to stay by falin's side are the exact words she would've used as well; she couldn't bear leaving him behind in this state. in a sense, they were each other's shackles.

but then she did. she died for him and their friends, and ironically enough, it was by leaving him alone like this that he was finally able to stand on his own and put his full trust in others. to have the courage to reveal who he is and give others the opportunity to accept him after such a long time of hiding. it was a long journey, but his hiding finally came to an end when he faced the others after shedding his monster form. and i love that the person who was falin's "home" all those years away from laios, marcille, became just as meaningful to him during their time separated from falin- the first one to find him and show him that he isn't alone anymore. just as he did for her.

so at the end of the story when falin talks about all the places she would like to go, it's not just that she wants to pursue her own dreams- but that she actually feels free to do so and go anywhere she desires. and one of the main reasons for that is that her brother finally found new people he wants to be with; his own home.

#im listening to fmab sad soundtrack while writing this im gonna die actually #dungeon meshi #laios touden #falin touden

[temporarytemporal]

cling to me

I know I said I was going to distance myself from this piece of media because of all of its terrible connections, but these two characters seem to have taken root in a permanent place in my heart, and I can't let them go.

Anyway, here's some character design notes below the cut for the one person out there who's obsessed with these characters as much as me.

Early DSMP: the era of childhood innocence

Bandanas: They sport each other’s bandana’s (they’re hidden in the design for every era). I love character designs with complementary colors (and I love how red and green are also cranboo’s colors)

Disks: Early on, cat and mellohi represent the peaceful moments ctommy shared with his favorite people, but they went on to be a symbol of victory and independence from the people who have hurt him.

Flowers: Ctubbo collects flowers and tries to memorize the meanings and symbolism tied to each type of flower. He also collects them for his bees.

L’manberg: the era where children became soldiers

Horns: Ctubbo’s horns start to grow in here.

Pogtopia: the era of an exile and a secretary of state / spy

You can tell I joined the fandom at the end of this era because I don’t have many notes here or for the l’manberg era.

Exile: the era of an exile once again and and a president too young

Hair: Ctommy’s hair starts to grow longer as he neglects taking care of himself.

Clothes: Ctommy’s clothes are tattered; one shoe is destroyed and he took to wearing cw-lbur’s (f-ck ccw-lbur btw!!) trench coat.

Bandages: Ctubbo’s wrapped in bandages from his recently earned firework burns. He’s gone blind in his right eye, and he’s missing the ring and pinkie finger on his right hand.

Compasses: They share their matching ‘your tommy’ and ‘your tubbo’ compasses

Hog Hunt: the era where one sought to kill the blood god while the other sought refuge there

Stolen goods: Ctommy’s has his antarctic empire outfit plus all the goods he stole from ctechno like the turtle helmet, golden apples, and the axe of peace.

Bedrock: Ctommy wears his counterpart piece matching techno’s from his ear.

Prosthetic: Ctommy’s right foot had to be amputated after he loses it to frostbite in the trek to cemeraldduo’s cabin. Ctechno gives him a simple prosthetic.

Disc Finale: the era of mended relationships and a final stand

Headband: Ctommy begins to wear a devil headband to fit in more, as he’s one of the few humans on the server. The devil horns were chosen to resemble ceryn’s real ones.

Patchwork: Ctommy learns to sew, and he fixes his tattered clothes from exile.

Post Revival:

Devil horns: Ctommy’s devil horns (plus a tail) become real after revival, and he gets a white streak in his hair.

Prime cross: The bad things that have happened to them both that they survived strengthen ctommy’s faith in prime, whereas they weaken ctubbo’s faith.

Sweater: Ctommy makes himself a sweater from friend’s wool.

Mechanical inventions: Ctubbo pursues his passion for engineering more as he makes mechanical bee drones and studies nuclear physics. He also makes himself prosthetic fingers, and he upgrades ctommy’s prosthetic foot.

Marriage ring: Ctubbo marries cranboo platonically and wears the ring on his horn. He also founds snowchester so he can have a place to protect his loved ones and raise his son. He grows out his hair to avoid eye contact for cranboo and to cover his scars.

Body type: Ctubbo gets chubbier and gains some muscle as he gets a bit happier in life.

Post DSMP:

The prison break and everything after it never happened. These are my OCs, and I make the rules because every actor/writer who played a part in their creation either abandoned them or turned out to be a terrible person. Cbenchtrio live happily ever after and begin their journey of healing while cdream rots in prison forever.

#dsmp #ctommy #ctubbo #tempo art

[eilidh-eternal]

“Single mom x Johnny” this, “single mom x Simon” that.

I want single dad Johnny/Simon and the single reader next door who is helplessly in love with them and their kid.

18+ MDNI

You never wanted kids. You’re convinced you would turn out to be just like your parents. That’s probably why you don’t have a ring on your finger or any sort of boyfriend or partner to speak of.

You never wanted kids.

Until Johnny goddamn MacTavish.

You’re in love with the man who always walks his little girl to school every morning, crooked pigtails flouncing with each too-big step she takes to keep stride with his long legs.

Madly in love with the way he smiles down at the tiny girl, even tinier hand held firmly in his as she dodges cracks in the pavement, and the shriek of her laughter when he lifts her by the arm, swinging her through the air to the next chunk of concrete.

Hopelessly in love with the broad shoulders he hoists her up on, little legs swinging with arms wrapped tightly around his neck and her chin resting on top of his head, blowing stray hairs of an overgrown mohawk out of her face.

Dangerously in love with the way he lets her cling to his front when it rains, like a little koala wrapped around this tree of a man who holds an umbrella in one hand and has a firm hold on her with the other.

Happy. He looks so happy with her. Like she’s the sun he orbits; the star that lights up his world.

You’re just a comet who occasionally passes them by.

——

Johnny never thought he would be doing this alone.

He’s so far out of his depth. Never even had the chance to dip his toe in the water before he was shoved into the churning ocean.

He still remembers every life-altering detail of that day. The phone call after the 16 hour flight back to base. The frantic drive to the hospital. The impossibly tiny, wailing little girl, all alone in the social workers office.

She’s all he has left of her. Of them.

His best friend. His partner in crime, for more years than he can remember. The person who understood better than anyone who he is, saw him through his darkest moments, and loved him with her whole heart.

Gone.

But he smiles for her. Because of her. Isobel is the light in the abysmal darkness that he’s drowning in. The buoy he clings to when he can no longer hold his head above the surface. She’s everything. His past, his present, and his future. And she’s sitting at the table refusing to eat her dinner.

“’s not right.” Her little nose scrunches, turns up at the meal, and she pushes the bright green plastic away, matching miniature fork sent skittering across the table by the force of it

Johnny lowers his own fork and swallows his frustration with a sigh. “‘s yer favorite. Wha’s wrong with it? ”

Her brows knit together as she studies the tray, little creases forming between them and she slumps in her booster seat. “Mommy didn’t make it.”

No. She didn’t.

Johnny was never the cook in the family. That was all her. She’d chased him out of the kitchen after he’d burnt one of her expensive pans and he was thus forth relegated to chopping, and occasionally peeling, duties.

“I know.” His chair scrapes against the floor when he pushes back from the table, moving to crouch down where she sits beside him so that he’s at eye level with her, and he pulls the fork and tray back towards her. “But mommy wouldnae want ye to go to bed hungry, aye?”

“I wan’ somethin’ else.” He watches her little bottom lip jut out, brows still pinched and face twisting into a stubborn pout.

“Wha’d’ye want?”

“Quesadilla.” She drags out the ‘ee’ sound, emphasizing her clumsy command of the foreign language in her already thick Scot’s accent.

He enjoys Mexican food. Loved the tacos Alejandro and Rudy shared with him and his team during his time in Mexico. She’d learned how to make them for his birthday.

Nowhere in Glasgow made anything like it. Not then, and not now.

“I cannae make a quesadilla, leannan.” Her little lip wobbles, eyes turn glassy, tears already welling up in the corners and threatening to spill down chubby cheeks. She sniffles, drags the backs of her hands across her eyes, and Johnny feels what’s left of his heart splinter, another little piece of it withering away to nothing with each fat tear that rolls down and collects at her chin. He unbuckles her from the booster and gathers her into his arms as he stands up, taking her with him to sit in his own chair at the table.

Her little shoulders shake, hiccuping with each muffled sob against his shoulder and tiny fingers fist the material of his shirt. “Miss ‘er,” she warbles, and his arms tighten around her small frame.

“Ah know, leannan.” More hiccups. More tears that seep through his shirt and brand his skin.

You should be here. You’re supposed to be here. With her. With him. With them.

“How ‘bout we go down to the shops? Ye can pick whatever ye want for dinner. Dinnae think they’ll have quesadillas, but I’m sure we can find somethin’ ye like.” She lifts her head from his shoulder, tips it back to peer up at him with bleary eyes and sniffles. Wipes her hand across her eyes again.

“Cheesy noodles?” It’s thin and reedy, poor little throat still tight and full of grief that he knows feels impossible to speak around.

“Aye, we can get cheesy noodles.” He brushes an errant strand of hair away from her face, tucking the unruly curl behind an ear where it probably won’t stay. Just like her mum’s. So much like her mum. She considers him, his offer, and toys with his shirt.

“And sticky pudding?”

“Whatever ye want, leannan.” She really shouldn’t have something so sugary right before bed but he doesn’t have it in him to deny her. Is just glad the tears have stopped. That she’s willing to eat, even if he has to bribe her with junk food and sweets. He sends her to put her shoes on while he cleans up in the kitchen and grabs his own shoes and keys.

——

He’s there.

He’s standing in the pasta aisle with his little girl in the buggy, smiling at the way she makes grabby hands at the dismal selection of boxed macaroni, and he pulls one down from the shelf to hand to her. She inspects it, turning it this way and that way, pointing to something on the packaging and saying something that makes him laugh.

You’re frozen in place, jar of pasta sauce halfway to the basket in your other hand, and you can’t move because the sound of his laughter causes something in your brain to misfire. Causes the electrical signals between neurons and synapses to jumble together and sets your nerves alight. You think you might really be frozen, body unwilling to move an inch away from where you stand now, by your beautiful neighbor in the middle of a goddamned Tesco, until a little voice is addressing you.

“Hi miss neighbor!” Johnny’s head whips around and when his gaze lands on you it feels like your stomach’s turned to lead. “We’re havin’ cheesy noodles f’r dinner!” She holds up the box in her hand and kicks her feet excitedly.

You’re currently kicking yourself for making what you’re sure is an expression closely resembling that of a fish out of water. Mouth agape, brows raised and eyes slightly widened in surprise. When your mouth finally remembers how to move you smile at the little girl waving her box of noodles and powdered cheese in the air. “Hello, Isobel. That sounds like a lovely dinner.”

His brows knit together, one of them quirked at a curious angle. “And how d’ the two of ye know each other?”

Isobel’s foot connects with his thigh and his head jerks back around. “She’s our neighbor. She gave me the tablet,” she whispers a little too loud, cupping a small hand in front of her mouth. He turns back to you with the same jaunty brows and a quirk to his lips.

“So ye’re the one responsible for the wee heathens late night sugar-induced marathon.”

“M-marathon?”

“Aye, she was bouncin’ round the house all night, the little devil.” He ruffles her hair and she swats at his hand.

“I- I’m so sorry. I didn’t know…” You don’t really know what you’d been thinking when you’d given her the Tupperware full of sugary confections to take home after she’d spent the morning helping you root around in the flowerbeds in front of your home. She’d been watching out the window for hours until she was suddenly right next to you, asking what you were digging for.

“‘s alright. Ye’ll just have to make up f’r it.”

It’s your turn to pinch your brows and tilt your head in confusion. “Make up for it?”

His lips part in a full, genuine smile, like the ones he gives Isobel, and your leaden stomach suddenly feels like it’s lodged in your chest, full of butterflies and other fluttering things you don’t dare to name.

“Oh aye. Reckon ye owe us a dinner since ye’ve skipped right to dessert.”

Next>>>

©️Eilidh-Eternal.2024 ~ The intellectual property of Eilidh-Eternal is not permitted for reposting, transcription, translation or use with AI technologies.

#john soap mactavish #johnny mactavish #johnny soap mactavish #soap mactavish #john soap mactavish x you #john soap mactavish x reader #johnny mactavish x reader #johnny mactavish x you #soap mactavish x reader #soap mactavish x you #soap x reader #soap x you #cod #call of duty #cod fanfic #cod au #call of duty au #neighbors au #cod mwii #cod mw #cod mwiii #cod mw2 #cod mw3 #call of duty mw19 #call of duty soap #call of duty fanfic #call of duty mwii #can of duty #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare 2

[arieslost]

MIAMI | ln4

summary: lando won for the first time and i have so many emotions i have to write something I’M SO FREAKING HAPPY

word count: 834

masterlist — join my tag list here!

© arieslost 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

you feel like you’re in a dream. walking on sunshine. on cloud nine. all the good, amazing things in the world.

lando has won his first ever grand prix. his first career win. right in front of your eyes.

in all honesty, it feels like you’re floating. you can’t imagine how he must be feeling as the team comes rushing out of the garage to meet him as he parks the car in front of the first place banner.

“come with me!” zak says the moment he catches up to you from the pit wall, immediately reaching for your hand so he can help you navigate your way through the crowd. “he needs to see you front and center!”

you don’t think that’s necessarily true, that he would certainly rather see the team and catch up with you afterwards, but you’ve learned not to argue with zak. you just hold on tight and allow him to guide you to the front of the barrier separating everyone from the top three finishers and their cars.

your throat quickly grows hoarse from cheering as he proudly stands atop the car, and you can’t even hear yourself over the cheers of everyone else around you and in the grandstands.

you would happily go deaf in this moment, because the sound of hundreds of thousands of people cheering for your boyfriend would be the last thing ringing in your ears. if you dreamt this moment up, it wouldn’t even sound this good.

you’re quick to take out your phone and record as lando gives himself a running start to leap across the barrier entirely and into the waiting arms of the mclaren team, who immediately swarm around him, hugging him and patting him excitedly. at some point he gets flipped around, everyone’s hands supporting him from below so the world can see the beaming smile on his face.

you don’t know when they started, but you can feel the tears on your cheeks as he’s placed back on his feet on the other side of the barrier. he’s pulled into enthusiastic hugs by a few more team members, and then he starts calling your name, eyes frantically searching for you amongst the sea of papaya.

“lan!” you yell as loudly as you can, pressing yourself right up against the barrier and leaning forward.

he spots you from over zak’s shoulder as they embrace, his smile somehow growing impossibly wider the moment your eyes meet. your happy tears begin to fall even faster after he hugs andrea and immediately makes a beeline for you.

all the words you want to say to him get stuck in your throat as you throw your arms around his neck. he’s sweaty, but so are you, courtesy of the miami heat, and neither of you care. you yelp in surprise when you feel his arms go around your waist and lift.

“what are you doing?!” you laugh, clinging onto him with all your might regardless.

“i’m not gonna have a fucking barrier between us when i do this,” is all he offers as an explanation before he’s kissing you, cupping your face with one hand and holding the other above his head, his pointer finger extended up to the sky.

you don’t see it in the moment, of course, but you’ll see plenty of pictures of it later.

you kiss him back with equal fervor. it’s definitely not the most perfect kiss; you’re crying and he can’t stop smiling so your teeth knock together a couple times, but that doesn’t dim the passion between you both as you hold each other. the crowd chanting his name fades into background noise when you break apart for air and he rests his forehead against yours.

“i love you,” he says, over and over. “i love you, i love you. i’m so glad you’re here with me.”

“lan, i’m so proud of you,” you’re in hysterics, laughing as tears continue to fall down your face even while he gently wipes them away. “you deserve this. every single second.”

“i love you so, so much. thank you for not giving up on me,” he says, his words so sincere that you could fall to the ground right here and now.

“stop making me cry more!” you exclaim, hands covering his as you reach up to wipe your eyes. “don’t you have the top step of a podium to get to?”

“can i bring you with me?”

“absolutely not,” you giggle, pulling him into another tight hug.

“alright, but i told will to get you on his shoulders so i can see you perfectly while i’m up there.”

it doesn’t click in your head why he would bother telling you that until you’re on will’s shoulders and lando is spraying his champagne down at you from the top step with surprising accuracy. and when he finds you after it’s all over and kisses you again, you decide that champagne is your new favorite taste in the whole world.

note: i don’t even care that i’m posting this late or if this sucks it doesn’t matter it needs to be posted today i am so happy for him i’m still crying oh my gosh I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I’M SO HAPPY LANDO NORRIS IS A GRAND PRIX WINNER

my inbox is always open for comments, criticism, and conversation!

reblogs are greatly appreciated <33

dividers by @/saradika

tags: @venusacrossthestars @67-angelofthelordme-67 @emails-i-can-send @nelly187 @cixrosie @fangirl-dot-com @sainzluvrr @imheretoread @mellowarcadefun @yourbane @monsieurbacteria6 @c-losur3 @papayatori @ssprayberrythings @namgification @maih23 @evlkking @witchycarmen @ilovethispookie @maxverstappenfan79 @sya-skies @sweatrevenge5436-blog @kimis-gloves @mia-rrrs @decafmickey @customsbyjcg-blog @bigheartsthings @tania2748 @scuderiadevils @iloveyou3000morgan @ctrlyomomma @hiireadstuff @daemyratwst @arian-directioner @evelyn-ny @avg-golden-retriever @likedbygaslyy @vintagefucksstuff @piastorys @jisungstuff @personwhoisther @bernelflo @ahgase99 @ferrarisfailedstrats @levidazai

#blurb #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris fluff #lando norris #formula 1 #lando norris fanfic #ln4 x reader #ln4 x you #ln4 fic #ln4 imagine #ln4 fluff #formula one #ln4 #formula one x reader #formula one fluff #formula 1 x reader #formula one x you #formula one imagine #formula 1 imagine #f1 x you #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1

[incognit0slut]

Just honestly anything with husband/dad!reid

(Fluff, Sexual innuendo) Dad!Spencer x Mom!Reader. 1.1k

You’re flabbergasted at how much your son resembles your husband.

-

The resemblance was uncanny. You'd like to think that after nine months of carrying your child, he would at least look a little something like you. Sure, there were your eyes, and Spencer never failed to mention his adorable nose resembled yours. Yet beyond those traits, he was undeniably your husband's little doppelganger.

You watched in awe as they nestled together on the couch, engrossed in one of Spencer’s documentaries. Though you knew you’d seen it before, your attention wasn’t fixated on the TV screen, but on the sight before you.

How could they look so much alike?

It wasn’t just the matching mop of curly brown hair or the glasses resting on their noses; it was their shared mannerisms that truly struck you. From the focused furrow of their brows to the way they leaned in attentively, it was as if Oliver was a miniature version of his father.

You saw Spencer leaning forward, gesturing toward the screen. "See, magnets have north and south poles, and opposite poles attract each other while like poles repel. It's all about the magnetic field they create."

"Opposites attract?"

"Opposite poles, like north and south, pull towards each other," Spencer explained, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "While poles that are the same, like two norths or two souths, push away. It's all because of the magnetic field they generate."

Oliver nodded eagerly, taking in the information. "So, it's like they're drawn to each other because they're different?"

"Exactly," Spencer agreed, giving Oliver a proud smile. "Just like how sometimes, people with different personalities or interests can be drawn to each other because they complement each other."

"Like you and mom?"

Your husband smiled. "What makes you say that?"

Oliver shrugged. "Well, you like books and learning things, and Mom loves art and cooking. You're different, but you're together."

Spencer chuckled. "You know, you're absolutely right. Your mom and I might be different, but we complement each other very well."

"Are you guys talking about me?"

The two of them whipped their heads as they saw you enter the room.

"Mom!" Oliver cheered, jumping off the couch to tackle you with a hug, wrapping his small arms around your legs. You laughed as his embrace nearly knocked you off balance, returning his hug with warmth.

“Hey there, buddy.”

"You’re back,” Spencer greeted from the couch. "How was girls day out?"

"Amazing, Aunt Penelope took me to the spa," you replied. "It was so relaxing, very therapeutic... until I realized how much I missed you both."

Spencer's smile widened at your words. "We missed you too.”

“What’s therapeutic?”

Spencer turned to Oliver, his smile growing as he considered how to explain. “Well, therapeutic is when something makes you feel calm and relaxed, like the spa did for Mom.”

Oliver nodded, absorbing his words with interest. “So, like when I play with my Legos and it makes me feel happy?”

You grinned, ruffling Oliver’s hair affectionately. “That’s right, doing things you enjoy can be very therapeutic for your mind and body.”

Your son, who was still clinging to your legs, looked up with bright eyes. "Can we have a movie night now that you’re back? I think it can be therapeutic.”

You chuckled at Oliver’s suggestion, feeling a surge of affection for his sweet innocence.

“A cozy movie night with my two favorite guys? Now that’s what I call therapeutic,” you replied, giving his head another gentle ruffle. “But first, why don't you put these in the kitchen?"

His eyes widened with curiosity as he peered at the plastic bag in your hand. "What's in there?"

You grinned, holding up the bag for him to see. "Some snacks Aunt Penelope packed for us. Why don't you take them to the kitchen while Dad and I set up the movie?"

Oliver's face lit up with excitement as he eagerly took the bag from you. "Sure thing, Mom!" he exclaimed before dashing off to the kitchen.

Spencer chuckled softly, shaking his head in amusement. "His enthusiasm is contagious."

You nodded in agreement as you walked over to him. "I wonder where he got that from."

Spencer grinned playfully, wrapping an arm around your waist as you joined him on the couch. "Hmm, I wonder."

"That boy resembles you more each day."

Spencer’s grin widened at your observation, a hint of pride shining in his eyes. “I suppose he’s taking after his old man.”

“He definitely has your enthusiasm and curiosity,” you remarked, your gaze drifting fondly toward Oliver as he bustled about in the kitchen.

“And your appetite for food, it seems,” he added, nodding towards the snacks Oliver had eagerly pulled out from the bag.

You laughed, the warmth of his embrace filling you with a sense of contentment. “He’s got good taste,” you quipped, leaning in for a kiss. "Ask me what else I did today."

"What else did you do today?" Spencer asked with a playful grin, his arm still around your waist as he pulled you closer before pressing his lips on yours in a sweet, innocent kiss.

You smiled against his lips, savoring the tender moment before pulling back slightly to meet his gaze. "Well," you began, your voice soft, "I booked a wax appointment."

His grin faltered for a moment, replaced by a look of mild surprise. "Oh?"

"Yep, do you wanna see it later?" Spencer's cheeks flushed slightly and you chuckled. All these years of marriage and he still managed to get flustered whenever you tease him. “Aw, look at you blushing.”

Spencer rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.”

“It’s adorable,” you teased, giving his cheek a playful pinch before leaning in to press a quick kiss to his nose.

He sighed dramatically, though the twinkle in his eyes betrayed his mock annoyance. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

You grinned, feeling a rush of affection for your husband. “And you’re lucky you married me,” you retorted. “So, what do you say to a nice, warm bubble bath and one of my awesome massages with a happy ending?”

“You know I can’t say no to that.” His gaze then fell to the length of your body. “Do I get a preview now?”

Your head fell back as you laughed. “Spencer Reid, your kid is in the next room.”

“Our kid,” he corrected gently.

"Dad!" Your son's voice suddenly echoed through the house. "I can't reach the plates!"

Spencer’s cheeks flushed slightly as he realized your son was within earshot, and he quickly cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure.

“Right, sorry,” he mumbled, his gaze flickering to you with a sheepish smile.

You shared a knowing look with him before turning your attention to Oliver. “I’ll help you out, sweetie,” you called back, already moving towards the kitchen.

Spencer followed close behind, his arm wrapping around your waist. “We’ll continue this conversation later.”

You shook your head in amusement. Parenthood certainly had a way of interrupting even the most romantic of moments, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

A/n: i’m sorry this is bad i wrote this half-conscious (i’m sick)

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid drabble

[arminsumi]

I want to kiss you / キスしたい

G. Satoru

NOTE: i recently started learning to write in japanese for not much reason other than to occupy my mind with something new. this little daydream came to me and i can't stop thinking about it, i think falling in love despite a language barrier is one of the purest and sweetest ways to fall in love.

WARNINGS — it might be fem reader idk, kissing 👍, ur married w him at the end, not proofread lol i'm snuggled up in bed ok

Satoru cant speak english and you cant speak japanese; Suguru is the translator friend. You met him online years ago, who knows how. But you hit it off, and four years of friendship rolled by.

Satoru heard all about Y/n and saw you many times when Suguru facetimed or called you. You and him had many cute, playful interactions, ranging from making hearthands at each other to flipping each other off and laughing about it. Sometimes Satoru would be sat off-camera, overloading Suguru with things to translate, because he had a lot to say to you. One time, Suguru left for a few minutes to get a pizza delivery, and then Satoru got very quiet and the two of you blinked at your screens.

"Hi."

"Hi."

And then you two for some reason started laughing with your whole chests, Suguru walked in with a confused smirk. He joked, "Sooo... what did you and Satoru talk about while I was gone?" He asked, gentle accent coming through in soft waves. "The mysteries of the universe." You replied. Satoru was already diving into the pizza box, but he still listened to you speak; he wondered what you had said, maybe you used some fancy words to say that you liked him? He'd be lying if he said he didn't memorize variations of "i like you" after that. He was paranoid that he could miss you saying that you liked him.

You managed a slow, meticulously-pronounced nice to meet you in Japanese when you finally visited Tokyo. It was at the airport. You and Suguru had shared many hugs — good grief, you'd seen height comparisons many times but none painted a real idea of just how big these boys were. But Satoru? He was loudmouthed on a screen and surprisingly shy in person. Eventually he hugged you and didn't let go. He even got so comfy as to hang and cling to your body like you saw him doing with Suguru in countless photos and videos.

Though you could barely pronounce the little Japanese that you picked up, Satoru felt giddy to hear your pretty voice in his language. He listened to you like you were reciting love poetry to him, fists under his chin and eyes starry. But you were just saying basic phrases, boring things — nothing that articulated your thoughts properly.

He was far too embarrassed to try and speak any English when he first met you, even though after developing a crush on you he did start learning some English on the side. He knew quite a bit, but listening was so impossibly difficult it frustrated him like nothing else. He was also self-conscious of his English accent, though Suguru tried to assure him that he sounded very cute and almost oddly British.

So often instead of attempting to speak tiny phrases to you, Satoru threw a lot of hand motions and signals your way which got the two of you and Suguru laughing — poor Sugie, he was always translating even the smallest things you said even if you muttered them under your breath, because Satoru was eager to know every little thought and expression you had, even if you were simply commenting on the weather.

Once you commented that it was so hot, you were visiting during a heatwave-filled summer. Satoru raised his brows at Suguru expectantly, and you heard a familiar translation;

暑い。

It's hot.

There was such a frustrating language barrier between the two of you, it became more evident when you had finally flown over the sea to meet them.

Yet you and satoru fell in love silently and beautifully, your love flowing like a river in the most unexpected directions. You felt his affection emanating from his irises. You and him joked around, and talked — though you had no idea what the other meant most of the time. Sometimes the two of you gave up and you talked in English, he responded with Japanese, and it went on like that very comedically until Suguru came back to bridge the gap.

Lots of time was spent putting your heads together over your phone, reading translations of what you wanted to say to each other.

One day, when Suguru left the two of you alone in his apartment kitchen so that he could hop to the convenience store, Satoru typed something into the translator and let you read it. Your face warmed up.

キスしたい。

I want to kiss you.

He looks at you expectantly.

You type back to him.

Then kiss me.

それからキスして。

He blushed and hesistated, the two of you making electric eye contact for a while before he boyishly pecked your lips to test if you liked his kiss, but oh that's all the two of you needed to realize just how much you liked each other. You melted into each other like your bodies were made for nothing else but to embrace and be one. He shook a little, tentatively gliding his lips over yours. His hands nervously cupped your cheeks. With the way he handled you so carefully, you'd think you were made of porcelain.

Your reciprocation meant everything to him. His confidence flourished. The soft smacking, wet sounds got louder when he kissed you more passionately. Those gentle hands found their way to the back of your neck, and he softly pressed you closer to him as if he was scared you would pull away. What if you changed your mind mid-kiss? He was overthinking and you wouldn't have even guessed it, because you thought he was in the same blissed out dream state as you were. So high on kissing that the world fell away.

The two of you started smiling embarrassedly, grinning so hard that you couldn't continue kissing. Then the two of you just giggled against each other's faces — a subconscious realization swept him; laughter and kissing are their own languages.

Yes as years passed and you visited time and time again, your Japanese improved and his English improved. When you moved to Japan, eventually you adopted a messy mix of Japanese and English with Satoru. He liked showing off how perfectly he could pronounce things, and you liked showing off that you could write very neat kana.

Years and years and years passed and when you and him were married in your own little apartment, starting a life together, a very fluent Satoru reminisced about how the two of you fell in love despite barely speaking to each other.

"It was your eyes for me." You said.

"Oh really? It was your voice for me. I didn't know what you were saying, but it sounded nice." He said.

"Mmm I liked your voice, too." You said, snuggling your head on his shoulder. He basked in the attention, though it was common, it always felt special for him. The smallest hand touches and wrist kisses made his heart lurch.

"Remember when I always nagged Suguru to translate every little thing you said?"

"Yeah, you worked him to the bone." You chuckled.

"I just wanted to know what you were saying. I had such a crush on you, looking back now it was even ridiculous how much I liked you considering the barrier and all."

"Ooh, did you?"

"How is this surprising? We're married??"

"Oh yeah."

#🗑️ — trash #♥️ 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 — 五条悟 #gojo #gojo satoru #fluff #gojo fluff #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x fem reader #satoru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jjk gojo #satoru gojo

[talaok]

But Daddy I Love Him

summary: You and Joel shouldn't be together. According to the people in Jackson, he's a bad, cruel, crazy man, and yet... he's all you ever wanted.

Warnings: smut (unprotected p in v), angst, blood, physical fight (?), happy ending (cause of course)

a/n: ive been obsessed with this song since it came out, please just go listen to it

Now I'm runnin' with my dress unbuttoned Screamin', "But, Daddy, I love him I'm havin' his baby" No, I'm not, but you should see your faces I'm tellin' him to floor it through the fences No, I'm not coming to my senses I know he's crazy, but he's the one I want

— — —

"fuck"

"god"

His breath, his hands, his beard, his mouth, his cock

Him

He was all you could feel, he was all that existed,

nothing but him and his intoxicating aura, his manly mist, his sweaty body his strong arms,

Him

Joel Miller

The man you should not want, the man you should be terrified of, that you should run and hide from, 

the terrible, crazy, Joel Miller 

The same one everyone told you to stay away from, your friends, your family, strangers, the entirety of Jackson

And yet he was the only man you ever really wanted, really needed. 

"I missed you so much"

Even your own voice was nothing, it was a phantom of something that existed long ago, something that stopped living every time he was near, every time he would make everything dissipate into thin air with just his presence.

"I missed you too baby girl" he grunted,

oh how he grunts, how he groans, how he moans

nobody does it like him

"missed you so fucking much darlin'"

His voice felt like a prayer, like a sweet invocation to the sky up above, to whomever would listen,

one that countered completely what he was doing, the nothing but sinful way he had you up against the wall, his hands gripping your waist as he thrust his cock in and out of you so fast you might just break.

The bed was right beside you, but that didn't matter, that's how you were

You and Joel, 

like animals, like soulmates, like desperate, desperate lovers

Your minds didn't work the same when you were near, they didn't work at all, one could argue

But isn't that was love is after all?

"oh my god" you moaned, hiding your head in the crook of his neck as one particular deep thrust made you see stars

"I know darlin'" he cooed, only going faster, deeper "I know"

"Joel" you cried, biting down on his skin "f-fuck"

It had only been two weeks since you last saw each other, but it might as well been decades.

They had sent him away.

Nobody liked him in Jackson, not once they'd learned his story, the terrible things he'd done

And when they found out about you... not even his own brother could protect him.

So they'd exiled him. 

But they couldn't keep him away forever, not when he had something to come back for.

"god fuckin' damnit babygirl- you feel so fuckin' good"

Your moans only got higher, your nails clinging to his back like a rabid cat.

"perfect lil' pussy" he growled, his hot breath on your sweaty neck pulling shivers from your body "Perfect fuckin' girl"

"oh fuck" you whined, tightening your legs' hold onto his waist 

"you feel so good too Joel" you promised, breathing heavily in synch with him "You and your perfect cock"

He groaned so loud he sounded like an animal

"might want to keep that pretty mouth shut if you want this to last, sugar"

You didn't know where you found the strength to laugh, but you did

"you're gonna come too soon, old man?"

His hold on your waist pulled you even closer, as you raised your head to look him in the eyes

God, he was handsome

"just might, if you keep saying stuff like that"

but before you could tell him how it wasn't fair, how he did it all the time and you couldn't do it even once, his thumb was on your clit and your eyes were to the back of your head.

"no" he stopped you before you could hide your face from him again "I want to see you"

And as warmth filled your chest and your forehead fell to his and pressure built in your belly, he murmured:

"good girl- come for me, just like that- Jesus Christ-"

And so you did,

You came and moaned and cried, and it didn't take much before he was doing the same, pumping you full of him until he'd given you every single drop.

And then you kissed, he kissed you slowly and gently and in the same exact way that made you fall for him the very first time.

"god I missed you so much" he breathed once you leaned away

A smile from ear to ear took over your face and all you could do was kiss him again

"me too baby" you murmured, as he helped you to your feet

You both smiled like silly idiots as you dressed again,

but neither of you could resist being in each other's arms, so you didn't.

He pulled you closer and wrapped his arms around you, kissing the crown of your head once you rested it on his still bare chest.

You didn't get how anyone could hate him,

You swore they wouldn't, they wouldn't if they only got to meet him, the real him, not the idea of him they had painted in their minds.

And so you hummed, breathing him in, clinging to him as he clung to you

Up until the very moment it all went to shit

Again.

"hey honey I just got back I-"

It was sad really, the fact you'd seen this scene before.

The disappointment in your dad's eyes, the fear turning into primal rage inside his iris, his fists tightening, Joel taking a step back

A deja-vu had never felt quite so devastating

"Arthur" Joel tried to speak, but your dad was already on him, his fist had already connected with his cheek

"What did I tell you!?" another punch "Last time was just a fucking warning!" and another

Joel was on the ground

He wasn't going to fight back.

This wasn't how he wanted to handle things

Not this time

Not with you

"I'll kill you this time you fucking disgusting pervert!" you swore you heard Joel's cheekbone crack with another hit "How dare you!?" your dad growled, Joel's bloody face beneath him "In my own home- how dare you take advantage of my daughter you fucking- pig!"

Your eyes were overflowing with tears, the top buttons of your dress were still unbuttoned, and Joel's chest was rising and falling too slowly, much too slowly

"dad"

But he kept going

"dad stop!"

you grabbed his wrist, and the moment his eyes met yours it felt like the word stopped, like it had frozen over.

You caused all that anger, all that pain

But if he just would listen to you...

"y/n"

"dad" your voice trembled as much as your fingers "dad I love him"

You saw his heart break. For all the wrong reasons,

for his poor daughter who was taken advantage of, for the naive, innocent daughter he couldn't protect. For the daughter that didn't exist. Because that wasn't you, that wasn't how things had gone.

"you don't know what you're saying"

His voice was harsh, cruel, cold.

"But I do!" tears ran down your cheeks as you glanced down to where Joel lay, to the cuts and blood coating his face "I love him dad, I really really do"

"You don't know who this man is" he said "The things he's done..." he said with a snarl, as if disgusted, as if the rage was surging from his chest all over again

"I know" you whispered "I know everything- He told me all of it dad, please" you begged "Please just let him go, let him talk"

"I don't need to listen to a word that comes out of this fucker's mouth"

"but dad-"

It was like a bomb went off

"HE'S 56!" he yelled, his grip on Joel's neck tightening "he's fifty fucking six y/n! You just fucking turned 21!" his voice bounced off the walls like thunder, "You're not even half his age!"

"who cares!?" you screamed too now, only your voice was interrupted by sobs 

"I DO!" he roared "Your mom would!" his eyes were wide with urgency, and although he was mad you could still hear the care behind his words "He might have made you think this is ok, that he loves you, but trust me none of it is true" he sighed "He's using you honey, I know it's hard to understand right now, but you- you're young- you don't know-"

Your hand left him, shaking as it went to wipe your tears.

"dad" you said more firmly now "I might be young but I'm not stupid"

"y/n-"

"no" you stopped him "Dad this is the first time I've ever felt this way, like I cannot breathe when he's not close, like I need him more than I need air" you swallowed thickly "And I know- I know it's hard to understand, I know it's easier to just go with the narrative in your head, of the fragile little girl and the big creepy guy, but this-" you took a shaky breath as you glanced at Joel again

His eyes were barely open, he was barely conscious

"This isn't like that" you promised "I- I love him, and he loves me"

"Honey-"

"I'm not done" you stopped him again "I'll never forgive you dad" you shook your head, simply stating the truth "I'll never forgive you if you do this, if you don't even give him a chance to explain, to tell you how things really are"

You saw the conflict in his eyes, the searing pain caused him to hear such words from his daughter, to hear her beg and threaten and speak up all at once,

and yet... yet he couldn't shake off the honesty, the hope lacing your words, your voice, sparkling from your eyes

And so he did the only thing he could,

he agreed, he agreed to hear the full story.

___

That was two years ago now,

and sometimes you wondered if it all was just a bad dream, if your imagination had tricked you into believing some silly made-up story,

but the glares from the people in town always seemed to refresh your memory.

And yes, maybe you would have liked to live a life without people whispering ugly things about you behind your back every day... but then maybe, maybe it was all worth it

For this.

For the child growing in your belly, for the veil on top of your head, for the sound of your dad stifling his sobs beside you, 

for the image of Joel waiting for you at the end of the aisle, for the tears in his eyes, for the smile on his face,

for him, 

for you,

It was all worth it,

Yes, yes it definitely was.

— — —

Now I'm dancin' in my dress in the sun and Even my daddy just loves him I'm his lady And, oh, my God, you should see your faces Time, doesn't it give some perspective? And, no, you can't come to the wedding I know it's crazy, but he's the one I want

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