#sometimes ppl r gonna misunderstand and theyll either ask for clarification or just go sith their beliefs and both of those r FINE

[nomaishuttle]

see i wanna talk to u guys more and be fr friends but ihave no clue how to go abr it. 1 on 1 talk terrifies me and i feel like just dming ppl wouldbe weird and even if it wasnt id still be rly scared 2 do it. but i also cant just post like Everybody tlk to me bc wheni see posts like that im like They mean everybody except for me. which is nonsense it says everybody yk... but i get worried nd i feel like others do too. i have a discord server But it scares me so i never talk in there.. this is the devil speaking but i wish still went to school and was just forced to be around ppl thatd be so much easier

#i hope once i get my job Even tho it wont be a social job. hopefully ill get mlre used to being around ppl again.. #bc i just. idk. i get viscerally uncomfortable if im in a room with someone yk. bc i start thinking sbt every movement i make #and it makes me feel too big and like im taking up too much space even if im like. on the complete opposite side of the room #im like Oh im annoying them im in their space and it makes me nervous and then i bumble and i bump into things and i knock things over and #its like. nightmarish #thats also what a lot of my nightmares r abt its abt ppl just observing me doing something #but i keep knocking things over and bumping into things and stumbling #and like. i turn to quickly an things fall behind me and then i hsve to turn to see what fell (humiliating) #it feels like when i do my walking on the balls of my feet except that thats a fun autism activity for me #but like. the strain and the stress of all my muscles. it feels like that #where everything is judt stressing and light touching and then i get rly scared Basically #and online i just get terrified of being likee. idk #i hate hate hate being misinterpreted and i need to get over it bc likee. yr gonna be misinterpreted sometimes #sometimes ppl r gonna misunderstand and theyll either ask for clarification or just go sith their beliefs and both of those r FINE #but it like. idk it makes me feel sick knowing that people have an idea of me in their heads that i cant control #like. forreal sick. i hate knowing that i could exist in peoples heads outside of when theyre in mine yk #like if im not actively talking to or thinking abt someone knowing that they could be thinking abt me. nauseous #which is stupid and controlling. i exist and ppl perceive me and thats FINE im allowed to exist snd theyre allowed to think about me #but also it scares me bc idk what theyre thinking and they could be thinking anything. ym #ok anyways irs bedtime sryyy. potatos tmrw #meme imsge DOES ANYONE KNOW IF WE HAVE POTATOS TOMORROW? the answer? yes