#sorry for the massive rant i am full of both love and rage but i feel alone in this world about this particular subject

[goldensunset]

i don't really know how to word this but like i feel like i'm gonna forever have to deal with the pain and heartache of one of my very first pokémon games- the first 'normal' pokémon game i've ever played, that i will have lasting nostalgia and love for as a result of it being formative to my introduction into the series- being the one that will forever be looked down upon for bad graphics and technical issues as a result of the game having been rushed

like i honest to goodness want to scream and yell and cry into the void about how this means everything to me and will always be one of my fave games just in general. but how am i gonna do that without someone being like 'the broken overpriced mess? the one that's missing all this stuff from the older games that was great? the thing with all the cringe? that one?' or whatever. and the thing is they aren't wrong for their criticisms either like i know the fact that they rushed this wonderful game hardcore is a massive stain on its reputation and it hurts me too but like i cannot turn off the brain full of love in me and be a mean critic. or even an impartial one. i mean i criticize everything i love don't get me wrong i am constantly running my mouth about what i like and don't like. but at the end of the day i approach all media with an unusually optimistic mindset. if you see me talk a ton about something no matter what i'm saying you can bet it means i love it.

just. aaagh. it's always tough being a new fan of an old series. i'm like too embarrassed to express my opinions bc i feel like they're invalid y'know? i feel so exhausted every time i see something to the effect of like 'oh those poor kids these days having to deal with such bad quality everything what a bad time to be a fan of pokémon wow y'all make me feel so old' well see the thing is i actually am thriving and i love it here. and i'm also an adult myself so i have more critical thinking skills than people who played red when they were like five years old did. and even with the power of critical thinking i manage to be in love with this. join me in marvelling at the beauty of life

#sorry for the massive rant i am full of both love and rage but i feel alone in this world about this particular subject #my other fav complaint is like 'they make it too easy to xyz these days' #to me that reads like 'i suffered so why shouldn't they' #yes we should encourage people to spend 100 hours grinding to do basic story requirements. #to weed out the true gamers from the weaklings. or maybe we could use the spare time in our lives to touch grass #the only easy-fication change in sv i don't like is the ability to access boxes right from the menu #that kinda cheapens the need to strategically organize a team before heading somewhere #i can.. sorta understand being miffed about the remember moves mechanic? #frankly platinum was so stressful with not being able to freely switch without great hassle/cost #it would have been a fair enough compromise to make you pay a bit of lp or something #or do it for free but having to go to like a pokécenter or something #i'll never agree that exp share is bad though sorry #pokémon #ok but about the 'i feel bad for kids these days with these ugly designs/lame 3D models' thing #yeah i have news for you every gen has its ugly/stupid pokémon. #dude look at exeggcute #and some of the oldest spritework is hideous #granted the ds era spritework was beautiful #but i don't see what is so bad about the 3D models of today? they're both nice... #dude play an indie game or something if it's that important to you idk #it will never be the 90s again. it will never be the 00s again. i'm sorry.

[vote-gaara]

your by far the best Gaara blog around with the most realistic view imo. Some people take their favorite characters way too serous and think they can do no wrong or they can defeat any opponent or they get really mad about ships they don't like and it's exhausting. its just nice to see you aren't raging every time someone has something bad to say about Gaara and its funny when you agree with them lol. You the true fan

ohhhh anon! Anon! Anon you mentioned the power scalers! Oh no, please forgive me. Anon...I love that you love this blog, but now I gotta rant. I am so sorry.

For real this might be the most malicious opinion I have, but... I can't deal with the power scalers. This is probably because I personally am not super interested in the whole "who is the toughest opponent Gaara could 1v1 without Shukaku, pre Shippuden, post-Naruto, while he stands on one leg and he already has been in 7 other battles in the past 30 minutes and Temari and Kankuro are dead and the moon is full and btw he also doesn't have any sand."

Of course I'm exaggerating, but honestly, power scaling just invites so much room for fighting it's not even funny. It's why sometimes curiosity gets the best of me and I end up on the Naruto subreddit only to slowly back away because there's just....so many power scalers and they're all fighting about the same fights, day in and day out.

And I know. I KNOW this is a Shonen manga...A lot of people are in it for the fights, but I feel like a lot of the nuance and themes of the series are lost on "who can beat who in a fight with just brass knuckles?"

Naruto wouldn't be the series it is without the themes surrounding friendship, love, betrayal, destiny and hard work over natural talent. These are the reasons the characters fight in the first place. Plus, a lot of the canon fights were won because of plot armor or as plot devices. Not to mention Naruto used to be about actual ninjas doing ninja stuff rather than sheer power...Remember when Naruto fooled Kiba in the chunin exams? Blew my freaking mind how brilliant that was!

Anyways... I always see people ranting about the canon fights and it's just so banal to me. For example, "Lee should've beat Gaara in the Chunin Exams."

And that's okay...Fair enough, you could argue that, but like....Where does the rest of the series go, though? HOW DO WE PROGRESS IF LEE WON CAUSE OF POWER SCALING?

You wouldn't get Gaara's hospital scene so you would never really know his motive for why he is the way he is...Then Shukaku would just erupt during the Chunin exams, I guess, and that would be that...No fight between Gaara and Naruto, no redemption. Really there would just be no story at all at that point.

It's like people take character losses as personal slights, which I understand because Deidara will always get two massive thumbs down because of what he did to my boy, but also Gaara's defeat and kidnapping just needed to happen. It demonstrated that the series had high stakes cause Kishimoto could just lampoon my favourite character at any point in time, and I'd be like "that's it, I quit!" only to realize that he's actually ok in the end. Actually, Gaara's defeat made me love him more because I felt more empathy for him that he tried so hard to defend his village only to die in the end, and also because no matter how much he had changed he will always have to deal with the legacy of once being bonded to Shukaku.

It's just feels like a richer experience to have characters fall on their faces and lose sometimes.

And as for Lee losing in the Chunin exams...Man...was that ever a battle because honestly I loved both characters. I didn't want either of them to lose, and I really felt for Lee. Yet, he was better off losing because we got the rest of the story surrounding Gaara, and we got that amazing poetic justice when Gaara comes and saves him from Kimimaru.

Plus, that fight humbled Gaara which is just great, cause he was a lil' brat in the beginning, which is fine cause I loved him anyways.

Thanks for this message...Sorry it literally turned into a raging rant though LOL

[strawberryybird]

So whats your favorite thing about each of your fe3h favs? Anything you could just go on a long rant about for any of them? or interactions between them that you wish had happened or wanted to happen.

Waking up in the morning and going through all of the drunk blogging and “-thank-u-for-weathering-my-deep-need-to-be-liked-and-given-attention-off-main-I-guess” if this isn’t a whole mood on its own I don’t know what is. Anyways it sounds like you had fun and it was definetly fun reading everything. I hope you are feeling okay the day after everything. And to tack on a random question which fe3h character would you want to get drunk with if it was just the two of you?

Hi Hello!! thank u for enjoying my drunk blogging !!! and for the asks!!! (and the lovely comments on my fics actually hi there ur wonderful!!!) i’m currently cursing the damage i’ve done to my sleep schedule and suffering under my (truly deserved) hangover lmao ;p apologies u don’t get drunk me, only uncaffeinated hangover me, but we talk to the same degree and make the same spelling errors lol

ah yes.. im a fountain of moods (all of u still with me here are saints hhhh)

ok content time:

the second one first: i absolutely want to get drunk with ferdinand von aegir. the man’s a hop, skip and a vodka shot away from a mess. i love him. he’d be full of conversation and would buy the rounds every time as a true nobleman should !! he’d probably be really good at instigating drinking games but horrible at playing them.. i love party gay ferdie von aegir.

i’m going to LIMIT the faves i list because truly i love them all very much but i have to at least pretend i have some restraint and i don’t want to make this even More of a wall of text it’s going to become . SO 

edit: ok i started writing this at like. half ten pm. when the fuck did it become monday. 

edit edit: Disclaimer time: these are my conclusions and my conclusions alone. I’m not saying I’m objectively right or correct. I’m very much approaching this from an English Lit-ish point of view because that’s just how I look at a lot of media. I’m not asserting my opinions or conclusions as the only viable to interpret this media, and if anything I say offends you then I am sorry, it was not my intention but I acknowledge that I have hurt you. This is not the exhaustive list of my thoughts on the whole thing, there’s a lot more depth and detail I didn’t go in to.

My favourite thing about Edelgard is the Everything, but notably I really love her proud nature and how in VW it quite directly gets her *spoilered*, and in CF it’s integral to her success (bc it’s her own rigidity within herself that keeps her standing i think) and I Like Tragic Characters (and it’s very elinor dashwood). because it’s one of the qualities that can throw her character into a villainous light & it’s really interesting !! but at the same time.. it’s not quite ‘pride’ purely, and it’s kinda the wrong word. it’s some mixture of determined/stubbon, anger, self-reliance, and that really hard veneer of personality u develop when you’re around people who aren’t healthy for you to be around, and the very very critical need to be right about the choices you made because the weight of the  consequences would kinda ruin you if you weren’t. (the dean winchester effect huh) and wrap that up together with a big scoop of ‘i believe my way is right’ (’and my way Has to be right’) and then u get a lot of what i LOVE about Edelgard’s character

My favourite thing about Dorothea is really how she was the character that Hated the war. genuinely the contrast between white clouds dorothea & timeskip dorothea Breaks My Heart EVery Time I See Her !!!!! that and Spoilers!!! (her last words in AM unrecruited is edelgards name and i literally had to stop and cry about it for five minutes.) she’s one of the characters that post-war doesn’t have a Massive political stake in the war - like there’s her anger towards the current class system (another reason i bloody love her PLEASE give me angry feminine characters) but i think it’s her bonds with edie (or byleth&whoever if recruited) that keep her actually fighting in the war & it’s kinda different and i like that (actually i think she parallels/sends up/contrasts really really nicely with mercedes in that way)

my favourite thing about Marianne is just everything. how she finds worth within herself if you play VW (and the very very harrowing hc that she didn’t if you don’t), how she’s full of a quiet rage for the crest system but you eek it out of her as you play the game. how she’s still loved by the deers despite her appalling mental health (fight me on that canon) and the game essentially has her ‘save’ herself by finding worth and life within herself. i love her so much ok. (i also love her because she committed identity theft.. she and i share a name with the second dashwood sister oho (but i don’t use that name on the internet hhh) (also because my favourite shakespeare play is king lear (no really it is), my birthday is in red wolf moon too, i used to have very long hair i wore in a plait most days for school, little 11 and 17 year old me acted Exactly like white clouds marianne did & genuinely i love marianne von edmund to pieces but God it hurts to see her in game sometimes bc her journey mirrors a lot of mine & i love this character. so much.) WOW that was a lot. am i sure im not still drunk

so claude is not only one of my favourite characters in the whole damn game, but also shares the name of one of my favourite painters so i simply have to love him ;p however i can’t give a proper opinion on him yet because i haven’t finished playing deers yet :( but !! i love how (as is with all the lords) he has a veneer of personality to him, but in contrast to Edie where it’s quite seemless with her actual personality, Claude’s veneer of personality seems very opaque and plastered on. i may or may not just be wildly imagining things but he’s a very different personality in his lower supports with Lysithea than he is in his B support with Marianne, for instance. like, i love characters that are obviously a lot more socially intelligent than i could ever be, and claude is *chef kiss* BEAUTIFUL ON EVERY LEVEL.

i’d wax lyrical about Ingrid too but honestly there’s many better people out there with the good ingrid content than i could do. shortly, i love the New Take on the pegasus knight archetype she brings, and i really like her perspective on femininity !!! she’s such a good character & she brings so much to the game and to the pegasus knight character too!!!!! she’s such a bright personality and altho i wish so many of her supports weren’t centred around make-up (hhh dorogrid fans i pray for you), i think she’s really going to pave the way for whoever’s next in that character slot. (like, you can’t tell me she’s not an offshoot of Phila from awakening lmao)

no ok i’m adding in Hubert because i love this vampire man. i really really love the devoted servant archetype and we all know i love edelgard’s tragedy. and i love hubert. so much. the way he enables edelgard in pretty much everything is just so so interesting to think about, and i love his intensity about it. he’s like the ever present reminder that edelgard’s will kinda has to work otherwise the potential consequences of her being wrong are personified in hubert imo. it’s only touched on in VW in his letter but like. god i wish we got more but it’s a wonderful starting block. i love his comic relief as well, he’s such a fun character to have !!!! and also i have so many hubert fics in my bookmarks that just Get him. i love hubert. oh i love hubert.

i’m going to cut myself off there because . that’s just a LOT. 

as for characters i would sell a limb to have them talk to each other, honestly it’s Edelgard/Marianne. (and only 51% because of all the projection i have going on with those two ok don’t at me i  k n o w). that support chain would be too powerful and honestly i wish they had one becuauese it would have gone so Hard about what Edelgard was doing and what Marianne thought about it, and how they connected over it & they probably would have had their supports set over cups of tea or smth .. it would have been amazing. 

(but i’d rather have nothing than an awakening-level-content support where they talk about eating fucking bear meat instead of talking about how they grew to trust each other with and their ability to save the fate of the world HUH AWAKENING. (i’m salty about fredrobin forever)

also hilda/dorothea supports . we were robbed. they’re best friends and you can’t actually tell me otherwise. they run the disaster bi chat of garreg mach. honestly i just would Love a support chain for them that starts with them talking about self care routines and something really small like accessories or perfume and it goes into how self-esteem and how dorothea has to find the same worth in herself as hilda so easily can. (hilda’s the queen of self esteem she’s a babe) and in CF they could have dialogue and then we cry about it. and in SS they talk about how they both chose their place with Byleth and not at edie/claude’s side like i’m just free balling here it could be Anything and i’d love it. 

also big shocker .. dorothea/marianne supports . they both hate themselves in their profile CAN THEY PLEASE CHAT. 

also i accidentally fell in love with the claude/edelgard ship and i desperately need them to interact on the same level that edie and dimitri get to because.. aren’t there supposed to be three main characters huh intsys .. and like i get what the game goes for with two of the lords embroiled in a personal war against each other at the heart and the third actually finding something close to the truth because he’s not involved in age old grudge matches but at the same time That’s one of the things that really really falls flat for me in the game. dimitri’s villain is edie, edie’s villain is big dragon wife, claude’s villain is the lack of communication that everyone in fodlan suffers from apparently. lack of communication and lies. ymmv with what im saying rn but i would have preferred if all three lords had strong personal ties to each other and in Each Route it was brought up. or just snip dimitri’s dialogue out of CF because i have beef with how that WHOLE moment went down on so many accounts hhhh honestly it makes me angerey to think about lol

.. back on topic- can the lords pls talk to each other because it would be SO interesting in white clouds and i like seeing how their personality presentations clash

also . can i marry manuela yet. my crops are dying here.

.. im so sorry about this but it’s midnight and i’m too tired to edit so. have this. thank you so much for the questions!!!! very kind (and brave) of you to ask me!!!!! i had a lot of fun writing all of this & as always if anything you didn’t quite /get/ i’m happy to re-explain myself!! :)

#ask #OH HELL THIS IS A POST HUH #fe meta #i mean it's not its just me having opinions rather loudly on ur dash #also that paragraph about edelgard is pretty much what i keep in mind to write her for my rtau fic #this is LONG im SO SORRY but NOT SORRY AT ALL #ur an actual angel if u sat thru this all #anyway. thank u so much for the ask that's so kind of u and i sent this mess back out into the world #my apologies oml #ok it's gone midnight im hitting post before i chaneg my mind #kalinary

[artificialqueens]

Cold-hearted bitch (Rujubee) - moony

AN: This is my first submission so I am very excited and a little nervous. I hope you enjoy it!

Being a cold-hearted bitch doesn’t work for everyone, but it does work for Raven.

Well, truth to be told, it works for her most of the time. Which absolutely does not explain how in hell she ended up in a car with the most annoying of her co-workers in the middle of a five hours road trip to a city she doesn’t even remember the name of. Come on! The bitchiness is supposed to save her from situations like this! She has played all of her cold-hearted, dirty, malicious, bitchy tricks to push this girl away but there is no! fucking! way!

So, here she is, at 9 a.m. on a Tuesday, trapped in the smallest car made by humankind with her least favourite co-worker who doesn’t seem like she’s going to shut up anytime soon. The trip feels eternal right now.

“I was thinking we need to unpack as fast as we can and…”

Raven is not listening, not really. She’s way too focused on the road and her own annoyance to pay attention, sorry not sorry. Also, Jujubee can and will say the same fucking thing eight times in a row so it’s actually better for both of them if she only has to listen to it once.

To be completely honest with herself, she knows Jujubee is not… horrible. She knows it could be worse: her co-worker could be a smelly pig or a chronic smoker, and that would be utterly awful because Raven can not stand certain odours. So, yeah, she knows it could be worse, but there’s still something about Jujubee that has always rubbed her the wrong way.

For starters she talks so fucking much that it’s annoying to spend more than five minutes near her. She talks about everything and everyone, and always has an opinion to give even if no one cares (even when Raven doesn’t care in the slightest).

And even though she talks that much, everyone else seems to love her. People at the office treat her like she is the coolest person to be around, always engaged in conversation with some person or other and smiling full-time as if it was a vital part of their job.

But uh-uh, Raven is the only one who seems to be able to see through it, through the falsehood. She truly can’t stand the constant fake smiles and the string of fake compliments that come out of her mouth. It’s just so artificial that it’s hard to understand why other people don’t notice!

It doesn’t make sense at all. See, why would she offer to travel with Raven if she hadn’t an ulterior motive? Raven, who hasn’t been nice to her by any means and who has made it crystal clear she doesn’t want her friendship or any other kind of relationship. Why does she keep being nice and sweet when everything she gets as a response is dry and rude? No. Fucking. Sense.

“I was also thinking about visiting some museum to make sure we make the most of the trip What do you think about going sightseeing tomorrow morning? It could be fun.”

“No.”

“No? Okay, we can make other plans obviously, I’m pretty certain the hotel has a pool…”

“No.”

“Oh? You don’t like pools either?”

“No, I don’t like making plans on a work trip.”

“Come on! The convention doesn’t start until Thursday we’re totally free tomorrow. We have to do something!”

“No.”

“Come on, Raven, don’t be a mood-killer!”

“Let’s get things straight: I’m here because of work and I am not planning on doing anything but working, least of everything doing something with you. Have I made myself clear?”

“Loud and clear.”

For the first time in the two hours they have been sharing the car, Jujubee is quiet. Raven almost feels guilty for hurting the other woman’s feelings. Almost. The silence is too rewarding for that.

Of course, it doesn’t last long.

“You know? When everyone in the office said you were a bitch and I shouldn’t try to be friendly with you I told them to fuck off because I thought that maybe it was just a defence mechanism and what you needed was someone to try a little. But I guess I was wrong, so I’m sorry if I bothered you too much, I quit. I’ll find some other way to come back home on Sunday so you can drive in peace.”

Dirty emotional blackmailer bitch.

“You don’t have to do that, just stop assuming you know a single thing about me and everything will go great.”

“Okay.”

Everyone but the car is silent again, but this time the tension is so high it’s uncomfortable. In an unexpected turn of events, Raven starts to miss Jujubee’s constant rambling about stupid things. Something, anything to fill the void would be useful at that point.

“Listen.” It’s Raven who finally breaks the silence “It’s not personal.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Well, yes. But it’s also personal with most of the people I know so don’t worry too much about it.”

“I’m not worried, I just don’t get it.”

“Why?”

“Why?” She exclaims, “I’ve been nothing but friendly with you and still… I don’t know what I did to piss you off!”

“Honestly? You being friendly with everyone is what pisses me off the most. You can’t like everyone.”

“I do!”

“You can’t.”

“But I do!”

“Fuck that, as if! It is impossible to like every single person you meet.”

“Well, you know, being fucked on the regular does help to be in a happy mood and to actually engage in healthy social interactions. You should try it sometime.”

Silence makes an appearance again but this time is neither uncomfortable or relieving. It is only there for three or four seconds, the seconds it takes for Raven to actually process what her allegedly sweet and kind co-worker just said. Damn, she’s funny.

“Bitch,” she says back, not being able to contain the smirk.

“Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?”

“Don’t get used to it.”

“Does it mean you like me now?”

“No.”

“And if I stop talking?”

“Still no, but it will make things easier for both of us.”

“Okay.”

Surprisingly, she does stop talking. She turns up the radio and doesn’t even sing along with most of the songs. It feels so much like heaven that Raven thinks for a brief second that she could even grow to like the woman sitting next to her. Maybe. Only if she’s able to be like this for the rest of the trip.

They keep on with their journey in a calm quietness, only broken by the sound of the radio and some questions here and there about having to pee. When they finally arrive in the town, Raven is in such a good mood that she’s willing to overlook her first impression of Jujubee (loud, boring and fake af) and give her another chance. That is, until she learns that they’re going to have to share not only a room but a bed because Jujubee has messed up their reservation.

Fuck.

Being a cold-hearted bitch comes naturally to Raven most of the time. Specially when she’s around someone she doesn’t like (which is most people), and specially if those people have done something to piss her off (which they do most of the time). So, it is not a surprise that after checking into their hotel room she goes into a rant about how incapable her co-worker is if she’s not even able to book two rooms properly. She’s fuming, and a string of smoke is about to come out of her head if she doesn’t calm down quickly. She could probably strangle Jujubee with her own hand in this concrete moment.

She needs to calm down. God.

Raven is trying her best to stop talking and to breathe deeply and not to look in Jujubee’s direction for both of their sakes. Step by step she manages to put herself into a state in which she doesn’t want to kill anyone anymore, which allows her to grab some clean clothes from her bag and run towards the bathroom.

“I’m going to have a shower,” she says, still not looking into her new roommate.

“Good.”

The only thing that comes to her mind after a while in the shower is how pissed her friend Raja would be if she knew the amount of water she is wasting. That’s good, that means she’s not angry anymore, or at least she isn’t when she doesn’t think about what’s going to happen that same night. It’s something, it’s progress. She finally talks herself into coming out of it after the third stomach rumble. They haven’t had anything to eat for a long, long time and she’s not about to risk another fury attack just because she’s hungry. No ma’am.

When Raven comes out of the bathroom, she sees something she never expected to see. There she is, Jujubee, of course, but surrounded but like fifteen food containers that seem to have every and each of the dishes Raven regularly brings to the office. What in fucking hell.

“What is this?” She doesn’t mean to sound as dry as it has, she’s just shocked.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s too much but I just wanted to apologise… I know I fucked up. Sorry.”

Raven is too busy debating about if what Jujubee did is creepy or endearing to answer. She really is.

“Please say something.”

“I can not believe this.”

“Sorry? I’m trying!” She can see how Jujubee is getting nervous by her lack of response but it’s just too much.

“I told you stop trying!”

“I can’t!”

It has reached the point in which both of them are screaming. Raven can feel the rage coming up on her spine and it’s really hard to keep it at bay.

“Yes, you can!”

“I don’t want to then!”

“Why?!”

“Because I like you, okay?  Is that enough of a reason for you?”

What the flying fuck. What. The. Fuck. She didn’t see that coming, like at all. And it is probably showing on her face too, it has to be showing.

“Fuck, I’m sorry. Forget that, okay? I didn’t mean it.”

“Okay.”

That is probably not the cleverest reply she’s ever given, but it will do for now. She completely ignores her roommate for the few minutes it takes for her to grab her stuff and jump into the bathroom. Everything goes down the second the door closes.

She’s so fucking mad. Who does she think she is? Making up that kind of bullshit? Laughing at Raven’s face, saying she likes her when that’s clearly a cop out for her massive fuck up. Oh, but she knew it, it’s not a surprise that Jujubee has ended up being a fake ass, is it? All the work she’s done to calm down in the shower has gone to shit because Miss I-smile-at-the-devil needs a way to run away from her mistake. No. Fucking. Way.

Raven’s ready to confront as she opens the door. She has been preparing that massive speech while eating her favourite chicken and rice dish; she’s ready to deliver it in her coldest tone, she’s got no mercy. That is, until she sees the look on Jujubee’s face and her heart faints. The girl looks so miserable. Her eyes are red and puffy, and she’s not making a good job trying to conceal it.

Raven’s staring, waiting for some words, a reaction, something, but it never comes. Jujubee drops her dirty clothes somewhere around her suitcase and proceeds to get into their bed without adding anything else. Raven knows she must be feeling very hungry and that she’s clearly upset, but she doesn’t really know what she’s supposed to do in these kinds of situations. She’s never been good around people, even worse at feelings and stuff. She doesn’t know how to react, but she knows she has to try.

“Jujubee…”

“Please, don’t. I’m tired and I want to sleep. You can shout at me tomorrow.”

“I’m not going to shout at you.”

“Sure thing.” The irony in the tone sets Raven up a little bit, but she manages it. She can’t get angry now.

“Listen… I’m not going to say I’m not… bothered about what happened with the room, but everybody makes mistakes so… It could be worse. Just don’t use silly excuses next time and we will be fine.”

That was good. Raven feels like that was good, kind, understanding. Probably gave Jujubee some peace of mind? Or maybe not, but she hopes so. She is confronted by a lack of response for the first time since she’s known Jujubee, so she decides the best thing is to clean up whatever is left of the food and go to sleep herself. Tomorrow will be a new day, one in which she will probably be able to book a new room and not share more than what is strictly necessary time with other people.

She’s almost asleep when she hears Jujubee’s voice again.

“It was not an excuse.”

“What?”

“It was not an excuse, what I said. It’s the truth.”

Raven sighs. Either she’s playing with her or she’s truly delusional.

“You don’t know me.”

“Yeah, but I’d like to.” She waits for an answer for a couple of seconds, but keeps going as there isn’t one. “You make those remarks about makeup that hardly anyone understands but you seem to know a weird lot about, you’re interesting. And I know you’re funny as well, I’ve seen you around the office with people you are friends with, they can’t stop laughing. You always are a little distant but you’re only truly mean with people who don’t do their work properly, and I like that you have that kind of integrity. I could go all night like this. I know I don’t know most of who you are, Raven, but I’d really, really like to, if you let me.”

In any other situation and with any other person, Raven would have probably laughed at those same words. Instead, she feels something in her dark and nasty insides that moves her to answer in a different way:

“Okay.”

#rpdr fanfiction #raven #jujubee #rujubee #lesbian au #they're coworkers #cold hearted bitch #moony #concrit welcome

[literatiruinedme]

Ophelia (Heaven Help The Fool Who Falls In Love)

The entire Rebellion can see it, how can't he? || G || 1,861 words || AO3

Thanks for the beta @happilyswanjones!!

“Cassian?” Cassian blinked, turning to face Kes, frowning at the other man’s slight smirk. “Why don’t you talk to her?”

He felt his cheeks go hot, but he still asked anyway. “Talk to who?” he stammered.

“Come on,” Kes grinned, tearing a chunk off of the roll in his hand before popping it into his mouth. “You know who,” he laughed. Kes turned towards where Jyn was sitting, clearly ranting to Bodhi about something.

Cassian looked down at his tray, pushing around some of the mush in front of him. His head snapped up when Kes moved to stand. “What are you doing?” Kes just smiled, stepping away from the table. Kriff, he’s getting Jyn - “Kes!” Cassian groaned, letting his head fall into his hands. He sighed, glancing up just as Jyn, Bodhi, and Kes walked over. Bodhi sat down next to Kes. Jyn rested her hand on Cassian’s shoulder as she took a seat next to him, her hand lingering a hair longer than necessary.

(Or maybe that was just his imagination.)

Cassian let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding when Jyn settled in next to him, pressed to him from shoulder to knee. Jyn jumped right back into what she was ranting about as if she and Bodhi hadn’t been relocated. Kes smiled across the table at Cassian before going back to his food.

“Cass?” Cassian’s head picked up as he turned towards Jyn. He quirked a brow when their eyes met. A smile slowly bloomed across her lips. “You didn’t hear a word I said, did you?”

His eyes went wide. “I didn’t- you were talking to me? I’m sorry, I must have-” She laughed, nudging him with her elbow. “What?”

“Nothing,” she sighed, reaching over to steal his roll off of his tray.

“Hey!”

“Penance for not listening,” she winked, popping a torn-off piece into her mouth. She rested her hand on his knee, chortling when he jumped. She glanced over at Kes and Bodhi, letting her smile drop when she noticed they were already invested in their own conversation. “Are you okay today?” Her voice was quiet all of the sudden.

“Am I-” he cocked his head to the side, nodding slowly. “I’m fine. Why?”

She shrugged, slowly rubbing her thumb back and forth over his knee. “I don’t know, you just seem a little quiet.” Her frown deepened, her shoulders dropping. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” Cassian said quickly, reaching forward to take her hand in his. “No, you did nothing wrong, I promise.” He squeezed her hand when she gave him a small smile. “Why would you think that?”

She shrugged one shoulder, looking down at her lap. “Usually people leave.”

Cassian sighed, turning towards her, squeezing her hand again. “Let’s go for a walk, yes?”

Jyn nodded, turning to grab her tray as he did. They both said their goodbyes to Kes and Bodhi- Cassian hoped Jyn either didn’t see or didn’t pick up on Kes’ smug smirk -before heading out of the dining hall. Jyn paused for a moment before taking Cassian’s hand and pulling him down a seemingly random hall, though after a few minutes of walking he noticed that she seemed to be on a predetermined path. “Where are we going?”

She waved him off, not bothering to slow until stopping before an unmarked door. Jyn typed in a code, visibly relaxing when the door slid open. Cassian cocked a brow when she dropped his hand. “Go,” she smiled, crossing her arms over her chest. He sighed, nodding before stepping through the open door before she followed him in.

His jaw dropped when he looked around the room. The first thing he noticed was that the room was seemingly warmer than the rest of the base. He unzipped his jacket. The room felt oddly lived in; maps, charts, and blueprints littered over workbenches in the room. Finally, he realized the ceiling was a massive star chart that seemed to be programmable as to which star system the controller desired. “What is this place?”

Jyn stalked past him, having already taken her jacket off. She turned back to him, a relaxed smile on her face. “Spare room,” she shrugged. She looked up at the ceiling, sitting down on one of the benches in the middle of the room. “Leia gave me clearance after-” She cut herself off, letting out a bitter laugh after she finally remembered what happened. “Well, you remember my little breakdown-”

“Jyn, we have to talk about this!” She’d already unbuckled from her seat and run down the ramp into the hanger. “Jyn, come back!” She didn’t stop walking. “Sergeant, that’s an order!”

She froze, her entire body going rigid.

He never pulled rank, but especially not with her.

The entire hanger went deadly silent, all eyes on them.

“Excuse me?” she growled, turning and quickly walking over to him. “I don’t think I heard you correctly there. Did you just pull rank to get me to stop?”

He grit his teeth, straightening to his full height. “I asked you to stop so we could finish a conversation concerning our mission twice and when you didn’t comply, I simply made it clear that it was an order,” he practically growled the last word. “And not a request.”

“I may be your Sergeant, Captain Andor,” she only used his name and rank when she wanted her words to held venom, when she really wanted to hurt him. “But I’m sure as hell not your dog.”

“I never insinuated you were,” he said calmly, though he was barely holding back his anger. “Though as your superior, I am still responsible for you and your actions.”

“Screw you and your rank,” she hissed, aggressively pointing a finger at him.

He grabbed her wrist, trying desperately to rub his thumb back and forth along her exposed skin, the gesture usually a quick way to calm her. “Jyn,” he said quietly, appealing to the little part of her that wasn’t entirely fueled by rage. “You need to-”

“No.” She wrenched her arm free, effectively cutting him off. She took a step back from him, her jaw clenched. “I'm done,” she said quietly, stalking off towards the exit, anyone in her way making a quick b-line to not be.

He let a sigh out through his nose, closing his eyes for a moment before straightening, holding his head high. He glanced at all of the other rebels surrounding him, all looking directly at him. “Don't you all have jobs to be doing?” he snapped. The volume picked back up as everyone quickly went back to work. He sighed again, walking out the direction that Jyn had.

He headed back towards his room, not caring about the ramifications he’d have to face from skipping debrief. He keyed in, all anger melting away when he heard someone sniffle. He closed the door and turned on the lights, only half surprised to see Jyn sitting cross-legged on his bed, her head in her hands.

(He was the one she usually went to when she was upset.)

“Jyn?”

She nodded, not bothering to uncover her face. He frowned, slowly crossing the room to sit beside her. She turned towards him, letting him wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her close to him. “I’m sorry,” she sobbed, only calming when he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight against him. “I panicked,” she continued with a hiccup when she’d finally calmed down enough to stop crying. “He said something that-” she bit her tongue.

“It’s okay,” he promised, rubbing his hand up and down her back. “I don’t care, just as long as you’re safe.” She nodded. “Just...remember that you can trust me.”

“Trust goes both ways,” he could hear the small smile in her voice.

-She looked down at her lap for a moment before meeting his gaze again. “She thought it would be a good idea for me to have someplace to calm down,” Jyn continued after a few moments of silence.

After the argument in the hanger, she’d noticeably begun to share more with him- telling him about her fears, her past, her dreams. He in turn, had tried to do the same, happy to offer as much to her as she offered to him.

“I don’t think I can match this one.”

“What?” She chuckled. Force, her eyes looked beautiful under the false stars.

“Usually we try to both offer something and I have nothing that would be even close to this.”

She smiled, holding out a hand to him.

He carefully navigated around the workbenches of the room, taking her hand and letting her pull him in-between her open thighs. He swallowed, never having been in such an intimate position before. Sure, they'd slept together- and only slept, waking to calm the other from various panic attacks and terrible nightmares -but the way they were standing was something different entirely. She pulled a small data pad out, moving through a few screens before tapping the screen a few times. The scenery over their heads shifted quickly, drawing his attention back up above his head. “This looks like-” he paused, glancing down at her.

“Stars of Fest,” she smiled with a nod. He smiled, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. His head fell back again, eyes drifting from constellation to constellation. “Cassian?” He glanced back down at her, one brow raised. Jyn licked her lips, glancing down for a moment before looking up at him again. “Would I be overstepping if I asked you to- if I asked you to kiss me?”

His heart stopped.

She wanted him to kiss her? Him? Was she sure? He didn't think she even liked him half the time- but here she was, asking him to kiss her. “Me?” Force, he was a kriffing idiot.

She laughed, resting her hands on his shoulders. “Yes, you.”

“Why?” Stop talking and kiss her, his mind screamed at him. “I mean-” he stammered, cheeks going hot. “I want to kiss you- I-” He froze when Jyn reached up to cup his face. “Stop talking?” She nodded. He smiled, leaning forward to gently press his lips to hers. She sighed out through her nose, tangling her hands in his hair. His hands drifted to her hips, pulling her closer to him.

She pulled back when the lights flickered. They both looked up at the ceiling, an exploding star catching their attention. “I've never seen it do that before,” she breathed, eyes trained on the stars above. She was beautiful in the pale light of the stars above them. “I wonder if it's in real time and that star just actually exploded.”

“Maybe.” He glanced up again, watching carefully. He smiled as the broken up bits of light traveled off in different directions. He chortled to himself, thinking of her nickname. “Stardust.” He looked back down when he felt her fingers tracing a line across his cheek.

Smiling, she pulled him in for another kiss.

Oh, Ophelia, you've been on my mind girl like a drug Oh, Ophelia, heaven help a fool who falls in love

#rebelcaptain #jyn erso #cassian andor #rebelcaptain fic #rogue one fic #star wars fic #therebelcaptainnetwork #Rachael writes stuff #sorry I'm posting this so late #had some life stuff to take care of