#sorry i was playing a lot of the witcher 3 last night and met adult ciri and am still kinda mad about it today 👍

[volfoss]

I really hope it'll get better as the game goes on (as I'm pretty early on) but the way the Witcher 3 is treating ciri as an adult versus geralt feels weird to me 👍 like she's got a full face of makeup practically and a fantasy bra. I wish I was fucking joking like they put her in a (sheer wet white :/) blouse with it being torn open in the middle to reveal a super duper supportive bra (this is sarcasm it's like. Barely fucking covering or holding anything.). Now obviously I do NOT expect a fantasy game to be realistic with undergarments but to pretty much have the clothing decisions reflect modern bras but again only for ciri (so far. Again I am not far into this but her character design OHHH they did some shit with her in a bad way!!). Like this isn't even offering structure or anything (her bra strap (which of course is revealed because her shirt is slipped to the side enough to show that) is maybe a half inch thick) and I again do not expect them to keep the historical accuracy but it's so clear it's just for objectification. Not even to go into the like. Fact her shirt is cropped (which so far I have not seen with geralt but again early on 👍) and cropped enough that it pairs so good with the skinny jeans so that playing in 3rd person is so clearly just catering to players that are objectifying her. Like the fact that she has literally no armor on in this first appearance (minus a. Leather corset because of fucking course they did) and it's just so clear that the player base really does not seem to respect her (as in I was looking for armor mods and the countless amount of mods that were just like ok she's tits out and in a tiny bikini bottom. Nothing of hey here's some cool armor for her ^-^ which is all they have for geralt). Not even to get into her heeled boots which like. Are so fucking impractical I'm so sorry but you want her to be running and fighting when she is having to be in heels. It's um 👍 very weird and offputting to me because they're giving her sweet character moments (again very early on but seeing her in the bloody Baron quest line was so frustrating) and then are like oh yeah we are going to make her so sexualized and so perfectly polished pretty girl despite having fallen into a mud puddle moments before. She plays so so much like they're trying to make her so dainty and feminine like. She's supposed to be strong and when you see this kid tell her that oh she's stronger than this kids dad for killing all these wolves, and then you see her toothpick arms. And it's like god idk I do not expect her to play the same as geralt (since he's 6 ft+ and built like a fridge in this game) but she plays so like??? In the way that it doesn't feel natural with her movements because there's so much focus on look how she's sashaying as she walks (wish I was joking 😞 but she resembles that one batman video game sashay gif) and it's idk. It's very weird to me and I hope it gets better but for rn I'm like honestly frustrated w it 👍

#twist rambles #sorry i was playing a lot of the witcher 3 last night and met adult ciri and am still kinda mad about it today 👍 #long post #probably man idk this is smth that rly pissed me off last night #like ive really enjoyed the game so far but with both how theyre treating her and what they did to geralts face compared to the first 2 + #games its like i have minor gripes <- wants that man to be more offputting and less yassified #also sorry mutuals who dont care about this but consider im so so silly and can get rly frustrated over this #i love ciri i just wish it wasnt like this. i understand the game is so good at sexualizing women but theyre painting her as a strong woman #and then doing this to her like. it's just eye candy :/

[advena87]

Lambert and Aiden on the Path Part 2

Here is Part 1

As with part 1, this is when Lambert and Aiden were just building their bond. Please remember that they share one brain cell and mayhem is their natural habitat.

.

Aiden, just after they first met: Let’s play a game of whose life sucks the most. I’ll win. I always win.

Lambert: You don’t want to play with me.

Aiden: Oh please, you smell like vanilla and daddy issues. I'll destroy you.

***

Lambert: I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong last night.

Aiden, looking wrecked and stressed: You have no fucking idea. I have to remember never to drink with you again.

***

Aiden: Let’s do something REALLY scary!

Lambert: We could go to bed early and be alone with our thoughts.

Aiden: Aww, come on, let's hug it out.

Lambert: I would rather learn to play the harp.

Aiden: Why do you always turn everything into a sarcastic joke?

Lambert: Generally, it's to avoid confronting the very real and difficult issues that most proper adults have to deal with.

***

Lambert: I need your help.

Aiden: Great, who are we killing?

Lambert: I didn’t say--

Aiden: I don’t do kids, that’s a rule.

Aiden: But the rule is negotiable if the kid’s a dick.

***

Lambert to Aiden: I don't need your inspirational talk. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.

***

Aiden: I have resting bitch face. Lambert has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference.

***

Lambert: And what if it doesn't work?

Aiden: Hey, we thought of everything. Except for an alibi and an escape route, but we'll figure it out as we go. You don't wanna overthink these things.

*later*

Aiden: Alright Lambert, you take the 20 guards on the left, I'll take the 20 on the right.

Lambert: Screw you, I'm taking 21.

Aiden: That's the spirit.

Lambert, to guards: Hey guys, how’s your health care plan?

Guards, rushes him: YAAAHHH!!!

Aiden, killing 3 of them with one cut: APPARENTLY, IT’S GREAT!

*later, after killing most of the guards*

Aiden: Hey asshole, what has two broken arms and cries like a bitch?

The last one Guard who can stand: You stupid bitch, you only broke one of my arms!

* Crunch *

Guard: *SHRIEKING*

Lambert, internally, watching Aiden from the side: He gets more beautiful every day.

Lambert, internally, realizes in this exact moment, he’s have feelings for Aiden: Who the fuck authorized this?

***

Lambert: Are you okay?

Aiden: Yes.

Lambert: Are you hurt?

Aiden: No.

Lambert: THEN WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, KNUCKLEHEAD?!

Aiden: I love the way you show that you care.

***

Aiden: Lambert, you mustn't blame yourself.

Lambert: I'm not. I blame you.

Aiden: Ok, I know it's my fault. I made a mistake. I make lots of mistakes. And I try hard not to make the same mistake more than three or four times. So now are you going to help me or are you going to keep on rebuking me?

Lambert: You know very well that I am capable of doing both at the same time.

Aiden: There's no need for sarcasm.

Lambert: I'm not being sarcastic.

Aiden: It's hard to tell sometimes.

***

Lambert: What the fuck happened to your nose?

Aiden: I was using it to break some guy’s fist.

Lambert: You can't be serious.

Aiden: I try not to be, but sometimes it just slips out anyway.

***

Aiden to Lambert: A guy walked up to me and asked if you were my friend. He shook his head and said "I'm so sorry" when I said yes. What the fuck did you do?

***

Aiden: You need someone to take care of you.

Lambert: No, I don't.

Aiden: Everybody does.

Lambert: I told you to stay out of it!

Aiden: Because we are two witchers working together on the Path, and nothing more.

Lambert: Right.

Aiden: Well, I thought long and hard about that, Lambert, and after many, many hours I’ve come to the most wretched of realizations. One that might curdle your very blood.

Aiden: You are my friend.

Aiden: And you can fool yourself and everyone else, but you can't fool me. I know who you are.

Lambert: You don't know shit about me, loser.

Aiden: I know everything about you. I know you play like you're the meanest in the heart but actually you're the most scared of all.

***

Lambert: Wait, be quiet.

Aiden: Did you hear something?

Lambert: No, I just want you to be quiet. It’s like, my body is very attracted to your body, but when you speak my brain gets angry.

Aiden: Oh. So, you wanna fuck?

Lambert: ...

Aiden: I promise that I shut the fuck up.

Lambert:

Lambert: Deal.

.

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