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betaorionis-fr · 5 months

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The Solitary Sea

sorta TMA statement fic, but vaguely in my fr lore setting. expanded version, original: 31st March 2023. does not have a bad end.

word count: ~950 cw: isolation/loneliness, thalassaphobia, loss + related grief, brief minor dark/blindness.

//File L/14.S/07.P.D.U Statement regarding an experience while diving near the Eastern Cliffs of the Ascent. ----- Sometimes I believe I dreamed it up, a false-memory or hallucination of some sort, but experiences like these linger, don't they? Whenever I feel too alone a chill sets in, and I remember. Recently I heard that some collect these sorts of tales and decided to come in and talk about it.

It had been a while since i met up with any of my friends. I had always been a bit of an introvert but it had been getting to me lately, the coldness of an empty house that hadn't been home since…since my partner passed away.

Well, when I got the invitation for a roadtrip beach vacation it seemed like a prompt from our god of winds himself, a nudge towards travel and adventure and fun. I was granted leave from work and my bags were packed and ready for the journey.

When I arrived at the meeting point it seemed like everyone had at least one other with them, aside from me. I felt that familiar dull pain in my chest, and I tried to push it away in favor of catching up with the others, though it lingered and cut when I noticed they only asked about work and kept to superficial small talk with me.

Still, I felt like things went well enough until the day of the dive.

I woke up, alone, arm outstretched over empty space, a familiar yawning chasm seeming to eat me up from the inside. I got up nonetheless, ate breakfast quietly, followed the others as we geared up and headed to the beach.

It was a little after I got in to the water that it happened. I realised, suddenly, that I was somehow alone in an expanse of blue.

I felt both weightless and weighed down at once, slowly floating—no, sinking—in that body of water. Looking up I caught rays of light from the ever-receding surface of the sea i found myself in. i could see nothing but water in all directions; no boat above me, no floor or reef, no sea creatures—

A large shadow was cast over my vision as something crossed overhead, a ripple sent outwards from its path, the soundless void slowly filling with a quiet mournful whale song.

There was no reply or accompaniment.

I became aware of the beating of my heart, a slow and steady pulsing in my chest despite my almost-panic, aware that my lungs were filling and emptying with no regard for the ocean around me, aware of the fact that I was all alone in this vast emptiness apart from the shadow of the whale, which had since passed me by.

I saw almost no difference between when I closed my eyes and when I tried to peer through the dark blue-green that now surrounded me, and I felt so, so, alone—it ate at me, the loneliness, and I couldn’t recall the last time I experienced anything else—

A bubble containing only I, cut off from the world around me.

I begin to despair, hoping for something, anything, to happen, some sort of change. I dug into my memories to find a scrap of warmth—

A memory of companionship so different from the cold water I could feel then that it was like a shock to my system—an arm slung over my shoulders, a friendly voice calling my name and the sense-memory of freshly-cut grass, laughter, and bright sunlight, almost blinding after the darkness I had become accustomed to.

I clung to it, desperate, and felt something change the more I recalled, as if I were submerged in a warm bath instead of glacial waters, like a patient recovering from hypothermia.

When I opened my eyes it was to a surprising sight. Before me was a colourful reef teeming with fish, the silhouettes of my friends only a short stretch ahead.

After, I breached the surface. And when I finally took a breath of fresh air on solid land it felt like my first in ages. ----- Supplementary: That was an encounter with I have decided to call The Solitary Sea (of the records from those who came back to tell their tale at least). I told them if they ever feel that creeping coldness, that loneliness– simply remember that they have those who will feel their absence, and to cling to that warmth no matter how distant it may seem. Regardless of how much it seemed like a platitude, I also recommended trying to forge closer bonds with their friends, making new ones, or perhaps getting a pet or several if their lifestyle allowed for it.

The Solitary Sea appears to be a somewhat localised phenomenon. In our investigation we found there were cases around there where the bodies of those gone missing surfaced years in the future with little to show the passage of time, and a commonality of note is that, well, no one noticed they were gone for a while. Given the few survivor's accounts it seems that the counter for this particular Instance is, cheesy as it sounds, the power of love for others in any form, a strong platonic or romantic connection to another living being.

I will make a note to the local spirit-seers to keep an eye out for any Lost in that area, though given the lengthy historical records I believe the Sea to be a manifestation of The One Alone, with aspects of the Endless Void, separating those it takes further from our plane of existence than the Veil which obscures spirits. … I'm glad this case had a happy ending. Transcription by the Archivist.

#my lore #my writing #fiction/archives #statement fic #do not archive #tma lonely #tma vast

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