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#thank you tal and ashley

bookshopscrblog · 7 months

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Okay but can you all imagine how Ashley would have felt if Ashton died? He had wanted to give Fearne the shard, but she'd said no, it felt like it was for him. And then he came so close to dying so many times. There's a reason her head was on the table and she had to walk away for those last rolls

And, coincidentally, it would have also been the second time an Ashley has gotten one of Tal's characters into a situation where they misjudged their survivability in a dangerous situation and used an ability which killed them. Thank the Gods I only have the one nickel

#critical role

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beauregardlionett · 7 months

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ashley: why do i get a say? tal: because you're insane and a fire base ashley: thank you ;)

#tal immediately then said fearne is least distracted and broken and is the closest to being sane......#fear.jpg #cr #critical role #4sd #4 sided dive

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zhenya4sid · 4 months

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9 people you’d like to get to know better

thanks for the tag @yabagofmilfs

List 3 ships you like: in the hockey realm - sidgeno, everywhere else: buddie (buck/eddie from the tv show 9-1-1), drarry (draco/harry - HP)

First ship ever: goddd i am pretty sure it was booth/bones from Bones lol - after their season 3 kiss i needed to know what could've happened. i think around the same time it was alice/bella, but that could've been later...you can't tell me they weren't meant to be!

Last song you heard: whataya want from me by adam lambert

Favorite childhood book: i pretty much grew up with harry potter, so i am going to say that. also i used to devour the marykate and ashley books they used to publish haha

Currently reading: i usually have like 3/4 books going at once so beware lol:

books: you & me by tal bauer, a people's history of the united states by howard zinn

audiobook: the long game by rachel reid

fics on ao3: say (don't) go by bccalling [buddie], i love you (and i like you) by withmeornotatall [buddie]

Currently watching: documentary on the gilded age on pbs. also rewatching: castle, brooklyn99, and 9-1-1

Currently consuming: water

Currently craving: pizza...i am trying to eat healthier but i could devour a cheese pizza right about now.

tagging: @brighamvaughn @sidsthekid @kylesdubas

and from my main blog @girldadbuddie: @leothil @evcndiaz @thatsveryood @burnthatbridge

(absolutely no idea if this has made the rounds already, so please consider yourself tagged if you'd like to do this and @ me in your response!)

#about me #if you'd like to join me on my main blog #come check out the madness

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are-they-z · 7 months

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Supporters of #NoHostageLeftBehind Open Letter to Joe Biden - Part 1/2

The letter consists of lies, no mention of Palestinian genocides, and a call for ceasefire.

Read the full letter:

Dear President Biden,

We are heartened by Friday's release of the two American hostages, Judith Ranaan and her daughter Natalie Ranaan [Raanan] and by today's release of two Israelis, Nurit Cooper and Yocheved Lifshitz, whose husbands remain in captivity.

But our relief is tempered by our overwhelming concern that 220 innocent people, including 30 children, remain captive by terrorists, threatened with torture and death. They were taken by Hamas in the savage massacre of October 7, where over 1,400 Israelis were slaughtered—women raped, families burned alive, and infants beheaded.

Thank you for your unshakable moral conviction, leadership, and support for the Jewish people, who have been terrorized by Hamas since the group's founding over 35 years ago, and for the Palestinians, who have also been terrorized, oppressed, and victimized by Hamas for the last 17 years that the group has been governing Gaza.

We all want the same thing: Freedom for Israelis and Palestinians to live side by side in peace. Freedom from the brutal violence spread by Hamas. And most urgently, in this moment, freedom for the hostages.

We urge everyone to not rest until all hostages are released. No hostage can be left behind. Whether American, Argentinian, Australian, Azerbaijani, Brazilian, British, Canadian, Chilean, Chinese, Danish, Dutch, Eritrean, Filipino, French, German, Indian, Israeli, Italian, Kazakh, Mexican, Panamanian, Paraguayan, Peruvian, Polish, Portuguese, Romanian, Russian, South African, Spanish, Sri Lankan, Thai, Ukrainian, Uzbekistani or otherwise, we need to bring them home.

Supporters:

Adam & Jackie Sandler

Amy Schumer

Aaron Sorkin

Barry Diller

Behati Prinsloo

Bella Thorne

Ben Stiller

Bob Odenkirk

Bobbi Brown

Bradley Cooper

Brett Gelman

Chris Rock

Constance Wu

Courteney Cox

David Alan Grier

David Chang

David Geffen

David Oyelowo

Diane Von Furstenberg

Eli Roth

Emma Seligman

Eric Andre

Ewan McGregor

Gal Gadot

Gwyneth Paltrow

Harvey Keitel

Isla Fisher

Jack Black

James Brolin

Jason Blum

Jason Sudeikis

Jeff Goldblum

Jerry Seinfeld

Jesse Plemons

Jessica Biel

Jessica Seinfeld

Joey King

John Slattery

Jon Hamm

Jordan Peele

Josh Brolin

Judd Apatow

Judge Judy Sheindlin

Julia Garner

Julianna Margulies

Julie Rudd

Justin Theroux

Justin Timberlake

Karlie Kloss

Katy Perry

Kirsten Dunst

Lana Del Rey

Laura Dern

Liev Schreiber

Madonna

Martin Short

Michelle Williams

Mila Kunis

Nicola Peltz

Noa Tishby

Olivia Wilde

Orlando Bloom

Paul & Julie Rudd

Richard Jenkins

Rita Ora

Ross Duffer

Sacha Baron Cohen

Sam Levinson

Sarah Paulson

Sean Combs

Shira Haas

Sting & Trudie Styler

Taika Waititi

Thomas Kail

Tiffany Haddish

Tyler Perry

Will Ferrell

Andy Cohen

Alex Edelman

Amy Sherman Palladino

Aubrey Plaza

Barry Levinson

Billy Crystal

Brad Falchuk

Brian Grazer

Bridget Everett

Brooke Shields

Chelsea Handler

Chloe Fineman

Chris Jericho

Colleen Camp

David Schwimmer

Dawn Porter

Dean Cain

Debra Messing

Elisabeth Shue

Erin Foster

Eugene Levy

Gene Stupinski

Gina Gershon

Guy Oseary

Henry Winkler

Holland Taylor

James Corden

Jason Reitman

Jessica Elbaum

Jimmy Carr

Jonathan Ross

Josh Charles

Juliette Lewis

Kristen Schaal

Kristin Chenoweth

Lea Michele

Mark Foster

Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Matthew Weiner

Michael Rappaport

Molly Shannon

Noah Schnapp

Pattie LuPone

Regina Spektor

Sara Foster

Sarah Cooper

Scott Braun

Seth Meyers

Sharon Stone

Zack Snyder

Zoey Deutch

Zosia Mamet

Zoe Saldana

Alex Aja

Aaron Bay-Schuck

Amy Chozick

Aron Coleite

Adam Goodman

Alan Grubman

Adam Levine

Allan Loeb

Amy Pascal

Angela Robinson

Antonio Campos

Anthony Russo

Alexandra Shiva

Andrew Singer

Alison Statter

Alona Tal

Ali Wentworth

Ari Dayan

Ari Greenburg

Arik Kneller

Ashley Levinson

Asif Satchu

Barbara Hershey

Barry Rosenstein

Beau Flynn

Ben Turner

Ben Winston

Ben Younger

Blair Kohan

Bobby Kotick

Brad Slater

Bradley Fischer

Bruna Papandrea

Cameron Curtis

Casey Neistat

Cazzie David

Charles Roven

Chris Fischer

Christian Carino

Cindi Berger

Claire Coffee

Craig Silverstein

Dan Aloni

Dan Rosenweig

Dana Goldberg

Dana Klein

Danny Strong

Daniel Palladino

Danielle Bernstein

Danny Cohen

Daphne Kastner

David Bernad

David Baddiel

David Ellison

David Gilmour &

Polly Sampson

David Goodman

David Joseph

David Kohan

David Lowery

Deborah Lee Furness

Deborah Snyder

Donny Deutsch

Doug Liman

Douglas Chabbott

Eddy Kitsis

Edgar Ramirez

Elizabeth Himelstein

Embeth Davidtz

Emmanuelle Chriqui

Erik Feig

Evan Jonigkeit

Evan Winiker

Francis Benhamou

Francis Lawrence

Fred Raskin

#palestine #palestinian genocide #gaza #apartheid #celebs #propaganda

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crayistic · 7 months

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With all due respect that comment about Ashley being “influenced by Taleisin” is so wildly parasocial. Ashley publicly expressed her discomforts with “encroaching” on the story line because she felt the shards were supposed to be about Ashton and Taliesin made sure to let her know publicly that her opinion on what they would be doing with it mattered JUST as much as his. As well as saying they should have a more in-depth discussion about it off screen.

There’s no reason to assume that some weird peer pressuring and/or manipulation happened behind the scenes just because a player decided to opt out of a narrative thing intended to go to them by the DM due to it being out of their comfort zone. Considering the crew are all adults and have been both friends as well as coworkers for years.

CR3 E77 SPOILERS

Hello there =]

I totally get what your saying but I did not mean it in any sort of malicious way. I don't mean Taleisin maliciously influenced Ashley at all. When you watch it it's easy to see that yes the titans are connected to Ashton but they are not supposed to be about him and only him. It's not as clear to begin with but then did become very clear that he was being pulled to the shard because the shard inside of him had a connection to it. Not because it was supposed to be for him. Matt specifically said two are not ment for one body. The emperor and empress. It was something ment to be shared, a way for more than one character to become stronger for the upcoming battle. But its also clear that Ashton wanted it for himself, despite the warnings and a clear direction Mat was obviously planning on leading them down.

Now i have nothing against players making decisions (or Tal in particular either) and I also don't believe the DMs narrative is absolute, but I do feel like of he had been encouraging to Ashley/Fearne instead of his back and forthness, it's so obvious that he had planned that from finding it out and he was going to make it happen in whatever way he could without directly being rude or demanding it. When someone says yeah ok maybe.. but then goes back on it, it doesn't give you confidence to think its ok. And to me over the few episodes surrounding it, he could have made her feel although she was incrouching, because noone else seemed to feel that way as they were not directly involved.

Obviously this is just my opinion and i value and appreciate everyone else's to so thanks for messaging =]

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andrewmoocow · 2 years

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Little Homeworld Life chapter 4: The Big Lazuli (originally posted on September 5, 2022)

AN: Welcome back everyone! For this episode, we're dabbling into a parody of The Big Lebowski of all things. Yeah, I kind of got the idea from watching the movie on Netflix, great as everyone says it is by the way. We got Lapis as The Dude, Peridot as Walter, and Teal Zircon as Donny, so you know hilarity is going to ensue with these three around! And to boot, we got a few cast members from the actual movie guest starring in this to really put the icing on the cake. However, there were still a few things I had to change from the original movie since the original can get super crazy, so bear with me here.

Synopsis: Lapis is mistaken for the heiress to an affluent bowling ball company, causing a chaotic whirlwind of schemes aplenty.

Cast:

Jennifer Paz as Lapis

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Amy Sedaris as Teal Zircon

Rob Paulsen as Mr. Shreds

David Kaye as Collar

Roger Craig Smith as Tank

Fred Tatasciore as Hoffman

Featuring John Goodman as Jeffrey Lazuli

With Ashley Tisdale as Tara Lazuli

Rhenzy Feliz as The Deity

And Julianne Moore as Maude Lazuli

"Thank you, miss, come again!" the owner of the arts and crafts store said to Lapis as she left the shop with two shopping bags full of art supplies for her Little Homeschool class. "You're my best customer, by the way!"

"You're welcome, mister!" Lapis replied to the shopkeeper as she walked through Beach City with her purchased art tools. "Hopefully, this should be enough to last us nine more weeks, at most." She muttered to herself while looking through one of her bags. "Let's see, got some cutting tools, a couple of sets of calipers, texture combs, ooh, a hot wire cutter, that could be useful."

"Ey, you!" a man's voice yelled for Lapis, stopping her from counting as she looked around for the source of the voice. "Yeah, I'm talking to you, lady!"

"Uh, who said that?" Lapis asked aloud before two muscular pounced on her. One had a gray tank top, while his sidekick was in a sleeveless collared shirt. "What's going on?!"

"Got you, Tara!" the man in the tank-top yelled triumphantly while trying to restrain Lapis. "Once we tell your pops, he's gonna be all over giving us whatever we want!"

"Who's Tara?! My name's Lapis!" Lapis yelled as she tried to wriggle free from her captors. "Now let me go!"

"Hey, hey, stop stop stop!" the collared shirt-wearing man urged his partner. "I don't think this is the one! She's all blue and has a rock glued to her back! I think she might be one of those Gems from the news!"

"Wait, a Gem?!" the tank-top man asked before he came to the same realization as his cohort. "Oh geez, we got the wrong one!"

"Uh doy, I wonder what made you come to that conclusion?" Lapis snarked as she was let go and spread her water wings. "And who's Tara, anyways?"

"You know, Tara Lazuli." The collared shirt guy answered. "Anyone with a phone and at least one social media account knows who she is. Influencer, does exercise videos, really cute and fit. Looks a lot like you."

"That reminds me, what's your name, babe?" the tank-top man asked Lapis.

"My name's Lapis Lazuli. Now goodbye." Lapis grumbled before she flew away to tell someone about what she had just encountered.

"Well, it looks like we blew it." The tank-top man declared before angrily turning to his companion while crossing his arms. "I'm blaming you for this."

"Oh come on, you were the one who thought she was Tara!" the collared shirt man exclaimed. "Why you gotta blame this on me?!" However, he quickly stopped himself before sighing. "Whatever, let's go tell the boss what happened."

"So wait, what happened?" Teal Zircon asked Lapis a few minutes later once the ocean Gem had returned to Little Homeworld.

"A pair of thugs assaulted me while I left the art store and kept calling me Tara." Lapis explained again to Teal and Peridot. "It's because they think I'm some influencer or something and want to kidnap her."

"Oh, I think they want Tara Lazuli!" Peridot declared before pulling out her tablet to show Lapis who she was talking about. "I'd like you to meet Tara Lazuli, professional online influencer and health, fitness & lifestyle expert!" Just as the two thugs proclaimed, Tara Lazuli looked like a dead ringer for Lapis, only she had a fair tan, short brown hair, amber eyes, and was clad in a sports bra and yoga pants that could pass off for Lapis's clothes.

"Hey, look, you got a twin!" Teal exclaimed to Lapis. "It's weird how you look exactly alike."

"Is that why those guys wanted me?" Lapis wondered before she started playing one of Tara's videos.

"Hey, guys, Tara here again to teach you the best ways to pull some pretty hard yoga poses without pulling a muscle!" Tara introduced herself to her viewers before assuming a raven stance. "Now, we're going to do the raven pose first."

"Wow, she looks pretty cute." Lapis remarked on Tara's appearance. "But why do those two guys want to kidnap her?"

"It's because she happens to be very connected." Peridot continued explaining before presenting a wiki article talking about Tara. "Her father is Jeffrey Lazuli, the single biggest manufacturer of bowling balls in the entire country! Can you believe it?!"

"I can't believe it either!" Teal added just as excitedly. "I wanna meet them now! Can we, can we please?!"

"Yeah, I think this Jeff guy has some explaining to do." Lapis responded. "Where do they live?"

"Oh yeah, that's really easy to find out." Peridot declared before she tapped on a link in the article that led her to the city where the Lazuli family lived. "They live in Snakewater, Montana, the dinosaur capital of these United States. Famous for the numerous fossils you can find around there, this city has served as the inspiration for many children and adults looking to profit from them alike."

"Neat. Maybe we can pick up some souvenirs to show everyone along the way." Lapis suggested.

"Well, what are we waiting for?!" TZ cheered while hopping on Lapis's back. "Let's see those dinosaurs!"

"Hey, we're seeing Mr. Lazuli first!" Lapis declared while picking up Peridot in her arms. "And then maybe we can see dinosaurs if we have time left."

"Yay!" Teal cried happily as Lapis finally took off for Snakewater with the two Gems in tow. "I wanna be a puh-terodactyl!"

Within mere hours, Lapis had quickly flown herself, Peridot, and Teal to the Montana town of Snakewater, famous for hosting the discoveries of numerous dinosaurs over the years in the badlands not too far outside of the city, which many had dubbed a "Jurassic park," of sorts. As such, tourism in Snakewater was primarily centered around these archaeological finds and was big business for many a visiting shyster or big-name entrepreneur who wanted to profit off the town.

"Well, girls, welcome to Snakewater." Peridot announced when Lapis finally landed in the middle of a dig site in the badlands. "Drink it all the scientific breakthroughs while you can, guys. We got a job to do."

"Aw, but I wanted to see dinosaurs!" Teal whined as Lapis took her by the hand.

"We'll get to see them later, unless you want to keep acting like a big baby." Lapis complained to TZ, forcing the childish Zircon to keep quiet.

"Lookin' for someone, you three?" a man in a cowboy hat with a thick Texan accent asked the three Gems as he leaned against a signpost pointing to Snakewater.

"Oh, hello there, sir." Teal nervously asked the stranger.

"Excuse me, but we came here to look for Jeffrey Lazuli." Lapis said to the buckaroo. "Can you help us find him?"

"Oh, Jeffrey Lazuli?" the cowboy replied to Lapis. "He lives on the side of Rosebud Mountain; you can't miss it!" He then pointed towards an enormous mountain with an opulent mansion built onto the side of it, and in the distance, one could see a cockatoo flying away too. "A real beauty, ain't it? I hear it's great to sled on in the wintertime."

"The mansion?" Peridot asked.

"Uh, sure, why not?" the cowboy shrugged. "Just be careful though. He and his fam have been targeted by some real nasty people lately, so best to keep yourself from acting too suspicious."

"Yeah, that's why we're here." Peridot revealed to the cowboy. "Lapis was confused for Mr. Lazuli's daughter, and we want compensation for this incident."

"Yeah, I hear this one varmint has really been wanting to kidnap Tara for some reason." The cowboy continued musing. "Why not try asking the big man himself for tips?"

"Already on it! Thanks!" Lapis answered before she picked up her two passengers again and flew off towards the Lazuli family's villa on Rosebud Mountain.

"Heh heh, those three are in for a world of pain." The cowboy chuckled to himself before walking away and slowly growing a rattling tail from his back.

As expected for someone as wealthy as Jeffrey Lazuli, his mansion impractically installed on the side of Rosebud Mountain was naturally very refined. A row of rare trees lined up in rows on both sides of the path leading to the manor's entrance greeted Lapis, Peridot, and Teal as they landed on the Lazulis' estate. Cockatoos had a massive birdhouse to call home, the high stone fence was decorated with dinosaur bones, and in the center was a platinum statue of a bowling ball on top of a massive water fountain.

"Wow, the most low-class of Gems could only dream of residing in a place like this!" Peridot gasped in amazement at the estate around her. "I simply must tell Bismuth once we get back to Little Homeworld, she'd flip seeing this residence!"

"Guys, look, dinosaurs!" Teal Zircon cried excitedly as the dinosaur fossils embedded within the walls of the fence. "Quick, someone take a picture of me with one of these!"

"Okay, TZ, but just a few, and then we'll get back to our mission." Peridot rolled her eyes in defeat before beginning to take a few photos of Teal posing with the Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton behind her while Lapis started walking towards the entrance of the mansion. Once she knocked on the front door, a butler in a suit with his nose pointed up was there to greet her.

"Greetings, visitor. I am Hoffman, the personal servant of Mr. Jeffrey Lazuli and his family." The butler introduced himself to Lapis. "Are you here for business or pleasure?"

"Uh, business, I guess." Lapis shrugged awkwardly. "We came here from Beach City because we want to see your boss. These two guys mistook me for his daughter, and now I want to know why."

"I suppose by "we," you mean you and those two over there?" Hoffman pointed to TZ still getting pictures taken with the T-rex skeleton built into the fence by Peridot. "Please gather your companions and follow me."

"I'll get right on it." Lapis obeyed before calling out to the duo. "Hey guys, come on in! Just be sure not to make a mess of things!"

"In a minute, Lapis, Teal wants as many pictures as possible." Peridot answered, quickly getting tired of having to take so many photos. "Seriously, TZ, isn't fifty of them just enough?"

"Okay, just take two or three more, and then we're done." TZ offered, to which Peridot silently agreed before putting away her tablet. The two then quickly joined Lapis and Hoffman at the front door, with Hoffman ready to show the three Gems around the estate.

"Ooh, fancy butler man!" Teal oohed in amazement at Hoffman.

"Excuse me human servant, we've come here because we request an audience with your superior." Peridot explained to the butler. "You see, there was a little incident earlier tod-"

"No need to repeat, little one. Your friend has already explained everything." Hoffman interrupted Peridot as he turned on his heel and walked inside. "Right this way now, miladies! And try not to make a mess of the place. I just cleaned."

Just like the outside of the mansion, the inside was positively extravagant with bowling ball memorabilia decorating the foyer of the building as Hoffman marched indoors with the three Gems. However, the thing that stuck out to the trio the most was the portrait of a heavyset, aging man triumphantly holding up a bowling ball while standing atop a pile of fallen bowling pins.

"Oh my stars, this place is even better on the inside!" Peridot gasped in awe. "My compliments to the humans that constructed this house."

"Yes, this mansion's construction dates all the way back to the late 19th century, and was completed on January 8th, 1935." Hoffman explained to the three Gems. "The birthdate of a certain king of rock and roll, if you can believe it."

"I can believe it, uh-huh-huh," Teal replied, imitating the King just as the butler led her, Lapis, and Peridot to a massive pair of doors. Behind them was the man from the painting sitting at his desk in a grand office.

"Mr. Lazuli, you have guests that'd like to speak with you about your recent kidnapping situation." Hoffman announced to his boss, causing the man to turn around in his chair and walk towards the Gems.

"Thank you, Hoffman. I'll take it from here." Jeffrey Lazuli said to his butler while stopping in front of Lapis. "And who are you supposed to be? My daughter's long-lost sister?" he snarked at the Gem with a dry, hoarse laugh. "But enough jokes. What brings you here, Bluebell Girl?"

"I came here because I was mistaken for your daughter, Mr. Lazuli." Lapis said. "My name's Lapis Lazuli, and these are my friends, Peridot and Teal Zircon."

"Greetings, Mr. Lazuli." Peridot added.

"Nice rug you got here!" Teal commented on the rug beneath the four while hopping up and down on it.

"Thank you, really ties the room together." Jeff accepted the Zircon's compliment before returning to his desk. "Okay, so you're a Lazuli, I'm a Lazuli, that's terrific." He declared while taking a seat. "Now, what can I do for you three?"

"Well, sir, it's about these two thugs that assaulted me back home in Beach City." Lapis explained while following Jeffrey and sitting down in a chair across from him. "They want to kidnap your daughter and thought I was her because we look so alike."

"Yes, I am very well aware of that, kiddo." Jeffrey proclaimed. "My baby girl Tara's been targeted by numerous shady folks for quite a while now. Nihilists, creepy hitmen, crazy car salespeople, runaway chain gangs, they're all crazy characters, the lot of them! Thankfully me, Tara, and my wife Maude, who's out on business right now, were able to outfox them on every turn, but each dubious party keeps getting more desperate than the last."

"So what can we do now?" Peridot asked the bowling ball magnate.

"I mean, we could try calling the cops." Jeffrey shrugged. "But there's no telling where these freaks are coming from."

"Wait, I got an idea." Lapis said. "Since Tara and I look so alike, why don't we just use that to fool the kidnappers so they can hopefully never bother you guys again?"

"Hm, not sure how that can work, but okay." Jeffrey mused on Lapis's plan. "If you want to see Tara, she's out by the pool filming for her next video. Hoffman can point you in the right direction if you want."

"No thanks, I can fly so I can see everything from above." Lapis declined the offer before she found a skylight to fly through and get a better view of the mansion from above. Just as Jeffrey stated, Lapis quickly found Tara doing some yoga poses on a mat by the massive swimming pool and dove down to greet her. "Uh, hello there. You must be Tara Lazuli, right?"

"One sec, followers, seems like I got a surprise guest!" Tara exclaimed. "And we're twinning too! Say hi to my viewers, visitor!"

"Uh, hello, people on the other side." Lapis nervously greeted Tara's followers. "Uh, Tara, my name's Lapis Lazuli. And I want to speak with you because I was confused for you."

"How about we put that on hold so you can join me?" Tara suggested. "Would be great to have some company on my vids."

"Well, I don't see why not." Lapis shrugged before Hoffman readily tossed her a yoga mat.

"Okay, gang, we're going to show my new friend here some of the basics." Tara said to her viewers. "Now then, let's start with a tree pose, or Vikshrasana, as they say in Sanskrit."

"The what?" Lapis asked as she tried to copy her human duplicate's pose.

"If you'd like, I can also teach you Sanskrit as well." Tara suggested to Lapis. "For example, Vikshrasana means tree pose. And for our next pose, we'll do the prayer pose, or Pranamasana." She then brought her leg down and lowered her clasped hands towards her chest. "Now you try."

"Yeah, the ari-ari-ari-ari-arrivederci." Lapis failed astronomically at saying the Sanskrit name of the prayer pose as she continued copying Tara. "I am so sorry I messed that up so bad."

"Eh, you'll get it eventually." Tara replied nonchalantly. "Last off; I'd like to try a basic meditation pose, or dhyana." The two girls sat down with their legs crossed and their hands clasped together again. "Now then, deep breath in and out."

"Hey, this is actually pretty relaxing." Lapis said in between breaths. "But that shouldn't distract you from the fact that your life is in danger! That's why I'm here!"

Tara's chill exterior broke as she heeded Lapis's words and turned to her phone. "Uh, sorry everyone, looks like we gotta cut this short! Remember to like and subscribe!" After ending the recording, Tara picked up her phone and turned to face Lapis. "You want to help me?"

"Yeah, and I got a plan!" Lapis exclaimed. "We're going to be in the same room together, so those kidnappers will have no idea which one of us to take, and they'll be too confused to even think about going after you again!"

"I have no idea how that could work, but I'm willing to try anything once." Tara agreed shakily. "Still, these guys are really crafty and will do anything to get rich."

"It's worth a try, right?" Lapis said with a reassuring smile as she put a blue hand on the influencer's shoulder. Tara then responded by putting her hand on Lapis's shoulder.

"Okay, boss, we've reached Rosebud Mountain." The kidnapper in the collared shirt said over the phone to his boss as he and his tanktop-clad partner scaled the mountainside to the Lazuli family mansion. "That girl will be ours!"

"Uh, why are we walking like this?" the tank-top man asked his comrade. "You know we can just climb the mountain trail and scale the fence, right?"

"I know, old chum, but this is way cooler." The collared man replied as the two thugs got closer to the mansion. "Almost there!"

"I wonder what's he gonna do with the girl?" the tank-top man asked again. "What, does he plan on hijacking her account somehow?"

"No, we're gonna make her fam pay the ransom, and mark my words, we're gonna make them pay up big time!" the collared shirt man declared with an evil laugh as the duo made it over the fence and snuck into the large mansion. "Just find any person that looks remotely feminine, along with maybe a few trinkets that they probably won't notice are gone."

"Ten-four, good buddy!" the tank-top man exclaimed before he started shoveling up various small objects that would be easy to miss. During his hunt, however, he came across a sitting room where two identical-looking females sat together, their hair informing him that one of them could be Tara Lazuli. "Hey, I think I found her!"

"Great work, buddy, now let's grab her and get outta here!" the collared shirt man exclaimed as he raced to find the two women, only to realize what his buddy had found. "Hey, wait a second. One of them could be that blue girl from earlier."

"Well, which one should we take?" the tank-topped man asked.

"I don't care; let's just take them both and see what happens!" the collared shirt man exclaimed before the duo pulled out some bags and stashed Lapis and Tara inside before escaping. By the time Peridot and Jeffrey burst into the room to see what happened, they were too late.

"Lapis!" Peridot shrieked in horror.

"Oh no, Tara!" Jeffrey added, just as worried for his baby girl. "Where did those creeps take her?!" Just then, he noticed a slip of paper that he figured must've fallen out of someone's pocket and picked it up to read. "Dear Mr. Lazuli, if you wish to see your daughter again, we request that you give us approximately one hundred billion dollars as payment. If you refuse, we'll force our prisoners to try and raise the money for themselves, whether through certain tasks or being sold off."

"Sold off?!" Peridot yelled in a panic as she jumped up and clung to Jeffrey's suit. "We must do something to raise the money! I'll do anything! Anything!"

"Calm down, Peridot. I'm sure we can just forward the cash and maybe bribe them into leaving us alone." Jeffrey assured the tiny Gem while grabbing her by the back of her outfit and putting her down. "I mean, how did you think this plan was going to go, like the Prince and the Pauper?"

"So you're willing to admit defeat, just like that?!" Peridot began yelling at the bowling ball mogul while bouncing up and down. "I have an idea of my own! I shall sell your belongings and put all my earnings in a briefcase to give to the girls' captors!"

"You know, kiddo, I think that's an even better idea." Jeffrey agreed with Peridot with a fatherly laugh. "I'm sure I got a few things lying around that I don't need anymore. For example, I got a few carpets that don't tie any rooms together anymore."

"Yes, yes! Give me more to sell!" Peridot cackled triumphantly when the duo heard the door open, followed by Teal Zircon stepping into the room with a plate of cookies in hand.

"Uh, what did I miss?" Teal asked with a mouth full of baked goods.

Lapis and Tara were dropped out of the bags by the two kidnappers onto a couch into a dark, dingy room at the thugs' hideout. Immediately as she got up, Lapis tried to fly away, only to discover that a special electronic device restrained her wings. "Don't even think about getting out, waterbender." The tank-top man declared. "We smuggled that restraining tech from the guvament to keep a leash on you, so you and Tara are our property now!"

"Don't think you've got us just yet!" Tara cried rebelliously. "My daddy will call the cops on you two, and your asses will be grass!"

"I wouldn't count on it." The collared shirt man responded. "Chances are he'll be forced to pay the ransom, unless you two would like to do it yourselves."

"Oh no, don't tell me how I think you will force us to pay." Lapis shivered in fear of the implications of that statement, possibilities running through her head of the debauchery that she and Tara could be forced to do.

"If you're thinking we're gonna make you do illegal things, that's not entirely true." The man in the collared shirt continued. "We're just gonna make you work for peanuts 'round here until you raise enough green to get out."

"Oh, thank goodness, I thought we would do some super messed-up stuff to get the money." Tara sighed in relief. "So tell us what we need to do first."

The two men looked at each other in silence before returning to the girls and presenting some cleaning supplies. "First, you should clean this place up." The tank-top-wearing man declared. "You would not believe how filthy this can get, and the boss likes a nice, clean ship! Now hop to it!"

Back in Snakewater, Peridot had finally raised enough ransom money by selling Mr. Lazuli's unneeded belongings to win back Lapis and Tara's freedom. "Yes, who would've guessed selling so many old rugs, tea sets, playing cards, and all sorts of garbage would sell for billions online?! We're rich, I tell you!"

"Correction, you're rich." Jeffrey said with pride at Peridot's financial victory. "I'm already stinking rich myself."

"So, now what do we do?" Teal Zircon asked while licking her lips at seeing such a vast amount of money in one briefcase. "And how much do you think will be left for the rest of us?"

"Don't you worry, I got a friend named Roseanne who can arrange a meeting with that gang to patch things up and give them the money." Jeffrey smiled as Peridot prepared to leave the house with the cash, only for a stray bluejay to flutter in and grab the briefcase on its little feet. "Ooh, talk about yanking the chain."

"No, come back here!" Peridot screamed in despair before she began pursuing the bird that stole her hard-earned money. "Please give back my moolah; it's the only way I can save my friend!"

"Hey, wait for me!" Teal Zircon cried as she started following Peridot and their runaway money. "Don't forget I'm a part of this adventure too!"

"Those two really are determined; I'll tell you what." Jeffrey said to Hoffman.

"I guess that's Gems for you." Hoffman replied curtly. "Didn't one of them save your father's life in a war? Which war was that again?"

"I think World War II, I believe." Jeffrey answered. "I'm in the mood for something to drink now."

"Would some sparkling cider suffice, sir?" Hoffman suggested.

"The Lazuli abides." Jeffrey agreed with a grin before turning to face the window again. "Oh Tara, my dear, please be safe."

Peridot and Teal's chase for the money started taking them all over Snakewater and catching the attention of many of its residents. Torinos were toppled over, wise-cracking store clerks were pushed out of the way, and the pair slid through pipes in pursuit of the bird.

"Hey, is that a Gem?" a man on the street pointed out Peridot.

"Follow that bird, you two!" a woman cheered the duo on.

"Yes, you are all very inspirational, humans, but please compliment me later!" Peridot said to the Snakewater residents as she and Teal got closer to the bluejay. "I think we're getting close! Quick TZ, throw me!"

"Way ahead of you!" Teal obeyed before picking up Peridot. "Now, what did that video say again? Oh right, YEET!" She then tossed Peridot at the bird with all her might and almost succeeded in helping her finally retrieve the briefcase. However, Peridot's hopes would be dashed when the bluejay dropped the suitcase and caused Peridot to get a face full of the bird before she landed at the bowling shoe-clad feet of a Latino man holding the briefcase.

"Oh, my head." Peridot moaned as she got up. "Dangit, Teal, you see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps?!" After cursing Teal for the accident, she then turned to the man holding her briefcase. "Excuse me, sir, but I request that you hand that briefcase of money over to me at once. It is for a most urgent situation?"

"Uh, question mi amigo, you said this briefcase is full of money, right?" the Latino man asked Peridot. "How much exactly?"

"Approximately one hundred billion dollars." Peridot answered when she realized what she had just said. "Oh no, you're not going to steal it, are you?!"

"You crazy? I'm not that malo, shorty!" the man chuckled. "But if you want it back, you'll have to beat me in a little game of bowling. But be warned, I am known as the Deity on the lanes, because I am a living god of bowling!"

"Such pride will be your fall, my friend!" Peridot snickered in response. "Okay, Mr. Deity, I accept your challenge!"

"Ooh, are you gonna go bowling?!" Teal Zircon exclaimed before she started whispering in Peridot's ear. "I think you better watch out. This guy brags about being called The Deity for a reason. If we pull any crazy stuff on him, we flash a piece out on the lanes; he'll take it away from us and do who knows what horrible things he can do."

"You know I'm still standing right here, chicas." The Deity told the Gems. "Follow me, babes. I spend most of my days at Big Bills Bowls, the hottest bowling alley in town, I tell ya."

"We'll see about that." Peridot glared at the Deity as she and Teal followed him to the local bowling alley.

Meanwhile, Lapis and Tara had been working their butts off in doing tasks for their captors in the hopes that they'd get enough money to be set free. Cleaning their lair, dusting shelves, vacuuming, scratching backs, and helping them make meals, the two women had dedicated their time to serving the two thugs so they could finally be released.

"Whoo, I've broken many a sweat before, but this really takes the cake!" Tara panted in exhaustion just as she finished scrubbing the bathroom. "How are you doing?"

"Only got a couple of hundred dollars so far." Lapis answered while presenting a wad of hundred-dollar bills. "I swear, this is going to take forever! Are we even sure we're raising money to pay our own ransom?"

"Not really; we just like kidnapping people to do our dirty work!" one of the men exclaimed from the other room. "We just like being lazy!"

"Well, this has all been a waste of our time." Lapis grumbled. "I wonder what's taking your parents and Peridot so long with the ransom money? Hey, that reminds me, Tara. I know about your dad, but what about your mother? Where is she?"

"Well, she's away on business a lot, leaving me alone with Dad whenever she leaves." Tara revealed sadly. "My dad is one of the best you could ever ask for, but he can be a little distant sometimes due to work. I just sometimes wish I could have some actual friends around. Not just my mom and dad, their friends, their friend's children, and all my online followers."

"Wow, I don't think I ever saw this side of you before." Lapis muttered in shock while reminiscing on how lonely she felt during her first years on Earth. "Well, would it be okay if I became your friend? I know what it's like to be alone in the world myself, you know."

"Really?!" Tara squealed in delight. "HUGS!" Tara wrapped Lapis in a big hug, and Lapis returned the affection, sealing the two's new friendship. "Oh man, there's so much I could teach you! Maybe we can do more yoga together, I could teach you Sanskrit, and maybe you could show me around where you live too!"

"I'd love that." Lapis agreed before they heard a banging on the wall.

"Hey, did I say you could take a break and share a wholesome bonding moment?!" the tank-topped kidnapper yelled. "Get back to work!"

"Fine, whatever." The lookalikes groaned in unison as they picked up their cleaning tools and returned to their duties. "Come on, guys, where are you?"

"And another strike for The Deity!" an announcer at Big Bills Bowls declared as Peridot's new bowling rival scored another point over her. "Now, how can his little green rival possibly compete with that?!"

"I can't believe this! How can he be this good?!" Peridot complained as she took off her bowling shoe and prepared to throw it somewhere, only for Teal to stop her friend from doing so. "What now, Teal?"

"Let's try and look on the bright side here." Teal assured Peridot. "You know how in those sports movies, all seems lost, but the underdog manages to get a victory over the big shot in the end? I bet you can see where it goes from there."

"Whatever, that's, like, your opinion, TZ." Peridot replied as she began making plans for the next inning. "Now then, there should be some kind of variable we're missing here that we could use to win."

"What's a variable?" Teal asked curiously while toying with a bowling ball.

"Look, rockies, if you're trying to make plans on what to do, then I suggest you give up now." The Deity bragged to Peridot and Teal. "Dios mio, man. Yours truly is going to SCREW YOU UP!"

"Ha, you may have skill, Mr. Deity, but I've got something just as amazing!" Peridot boasted before sticking out her hand and causing the mechanism bringing the bowling pins down to start shaking. "Let's see you come up to par with that!"

"If I could right now, I could flip you off in four different languages." The Deity continued boasting. "I could flip you off in American, French, Japanese, or Italian style. Yet all of them should warn you that I'm not to be messed with!"

"Yeah, we get it already!" Teal groaned, having had enough of their opponent's showboating. "But I still don't know something. Why do you want our money, anyhow?"

"Oh, that?" The Deity chuckled while looking over his shoulder at the briefcase he stole. "I just need that for people in my village back home. I mean, one hundred billion dollars! You have any idea how much food that can buy?!"

"So that's it, you're only doing this for money?" Peridot said with utter disappointment in her voice. "All this bragging so that you could use our money?"

"Hey, come on, it's for a good cause!" The Deity exclaimed. "I guarantee it. Would I lie?" He then glanced to the side, confirming to Peridot that he was indeed lying. "Oh, dear me, would you look at the time? I really gotta go!"

"Oh no, he's running off with the cash!" Teal exclaimed as the Deity did precisely that. "We have to stop him for the good of our friends!"

"Well, what are we waiting for?!" Peridot yelled. "After him!" With Teal Zircon being dragged along, both figuratively and literally, for the ride, Peridot ran out of the bowling alley in hot pursuit of the Deity as her bowling rival made his escape in a Torino. "Oh no, you don't!" After summoning a dumpster for her and Teal to ride in, Peridot used her ferrokinesis to keep it moving as she chased after the Deity in his car.

Back at the kidnappers' lair, Lapis and Tara had been spending time bonding some more during their forced servitude to the two men, sharing stories about their lives, and having fun together along the way. "So then I said, "It was an endless, crushing darkness! Wet and bleak and suffering!" Man, I was such a drama queen back then!" Lapis laughed nostalgically. "But I had good reasons to say that, though."

"Dang, how much did Jasper torment you?" Tara asked.

"A lot." Lapis answered. "Then I tortured her back; it was all a big, vicious cycle." Just then, the door opened again. "Okay, what do you want this time?"

"Oh no, I believe you've mistaken me for my associates, Tank, and Collar." A different man declared as he stepped into the room to confront Lapis and Tara. "Call me Mr. Shreds, a pleasure to meet you both." Mr. Shreds in question was a middle-aged man with slowly graying hair, though he seemed to keep himself in better shape than Jeffrey Lazuli and wore a similar-looking suit too. "And what's this? Are you one of those Gems I have heard so much about?"

"Um, yeah." Lapis asked nervously as Mr. Shreds got a good look at her from some rather concerning angles. "What do you want with me and especially Tara?"

"Me? Well, I just wanna get rich, for crying out loud!" Mr. Shreds explained. "Doesn't everyone want to make an honest profit sometimes?" He gave Lapis another leer. "Especially you, bluey. Do you know how much a Gem would make me on the black market?!"

"Now hang on a second, boss!" Collar exclaimed as he and Tank burst into the room. "I think you might need to step back a little!"

"What for?" Mr. Shreds asked his two goons. "Bring these girls to the shipping container outside! We're going to make a fortune, boys!"

"Sorry, but I'm afraid we won't be including you in the pay." Tank proclaimed. "We're gonna use them to get rich, and you won't have any part in it!"

"Where did this come from?!" Mr. Shreds roared in anger before he was presented with a briefcase.

"Here, have some cash on us to make you feel better." Collar said as Mr. Shreds took the briefcase, unaware of his subordinates' evil grins as he shook the suitcase.

"Hm, something isn't right here." Mr. Shreds pondered when he heard a car roar outside. "What was that? Who started their car?"

"Wait, that can't be!" Lapis cried out in joy, hoping that Peridot had finally come to save her. She was right, but it wasn't just Peridot that crashed through the wall of the building, but a fancy Torino driven by a frenzied Hispanic man holding a briefcase full of cash, followed by Peridot and Teal Zircon riding a dumpster.

"WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON ANYMORE?!" Mr. Shreds yelled before the car suddenly ran him, Collar, and Tank over and crashed into a nearby wall while the Deity began scrambling out of the vehicle.

"Come on, where is that briefcase?!" the Deity mumbled to himself before discovering the briefcase Mr. Shreds was given. "Not sure if this is the one, but I'll take anything I can get!" With that, the Deity ran off with the second briefcase while Peridot ran towards the Torino to reclaim the money she made to buy back Lapis and Tara's freedom.

"Uh, mind telling me who you're supposed to be?" Mr. Shreds asked before the briefcase full of money was dropped on his chest.

"The Gem who's going to buy back my friends from criminal scum like you!" Peridot declared pridefully.

"And I'm helping!" Teal Zircon added.

"Well, thanks for all the money, greenback." Mr. Shreds thanked Peridot while glaring at Collar and Tank. "But the truth is, I was gonna send you all on this wild goose chase anyways because seeing everyone in a frenzy just makes me laugh."

"So wait, you would've let us out anyways, but you kept us around for laughs?" Tara asked.

"Oh no, I was going to ask for ransom regardless." Mr. Shreds revealed solemnly. "But hey, at least we all had fun anyhow!"

Minutes later, the police arrived to take Mr. Shreds and his two cronies away while Jeffrey was notified of the recovery of his daughter and immediately rushed to the scene with Hoffman by his side.

"Daddy!" Tara cheered as Jeffrey scooped up his daughter in his arms.

"Oh, my baby girl, I'm so happy you're safe!" Jeffrey laughed heartfully. "Did those monsters do anything to you? Do I have to give you birth control pills? Please tell me you still have an organ or two intact!"

"Relax, Mr. Lazuli, Tara's fine." Lapis assured Jeffrey. "Those guys just forced us to do chores in exchange for money we'll give them so we can get out, nothing too nasty. Well, except for almost being sold on the black market, whatever that is."

"Hello, Tara?" a woman around Jeffrey's age and clad in a grayish brown pantsuit asked for Tara. "I've heard what happened from your father, and I just had to rush over from my latest meeting to see if you're okay!"

"Mom!" Tara squealed in delight as she and her father let Maude Lazuli in on the group hug. "I can't believe it; we're all together again!"

"And who is this supposed to be?" Tara's mother Maude asked while locking eyes with Lapis for the first time. "For some reason, she looks just like you, Tara."

"My name's Lapis Lazuli, no relation." Lapis introduced herself to the matriarch of the Lazuli family. "Your daughter's new friend."

"Aw, how sweet." Maude replied and shook Lapis's hand. "Now come along now, everyone. This has been a long day for everyone."

"One second, guys." Tara said before Jeff put his daughter down and turned her to face Lapis. "Lapis, thanks for being my friend today. I hope we can see each other again soon."

"You're welcome. Just know that you're never alone in this world, okay?" Lapis replied before the two girls hugged each other goodbye.

"Uh, did we miss anything?" Teal asked as the Lazuli family left, while the Lapis they knew waved farewell.

"Eh, screw it, this has been a weird day anyways." Peridot responded. "Come on, Lapis, let's go bowling."

"Okay." Lapis replied as the three walked away when Teal realized something.

"Hey, I think we forgot something." Teal declared.

"If you forgot, then it wasn't important." Peridot responded curtly.

"Yeah, you're right." Teal concluded.

"AHAHAHA, nothing bad ever happens to the Deity!" The Deity cackled as he fled the scene with the briefcase he stole from Mr. Shreds in hand. "That little green bean may be smart, but I'm way faster with my fingers! Now let's see what we got here."

Unfortunately for the Deity, rather than the hundred billion dollars Peridot had claimed was in the briefcase, a large pile of ash suddenly blew in his face, causing the Deity to temporarily go blind. "AGH, ASHES! ASHES!" he yelled in surprise. "I'M FALLING DOWN!"

Far out, man. I hope I was able to get some of the plot beats from The Big Lebowski correct. I guess that's what happens when you have to do a parody of a cult movie by the Cohen Brothers. But on the topic of parodies, Teal Zircon gets to take the stage for the next episode, which will parody all sorts of commercials like Billy Mays, Vince Offer, The Most Interesting Man in the World, and much, much more! Teal has always been a fun character for me to write, but I think this next one should give her a lot more depth than we think she has. See you again soon!

#steven universe #steven universe future #steven universe alternate future #fanfiction #little homeworld life #lapis lazuli #peridot #teal zircon

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seth-kia · 1 year

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Hello, instead of commenting on ao3 i am here. I love your series with eldritch! Taliesin and i was so happy when i saw the update :D also, freaking communication, @disembodied voice, tell the man what he did, goodness gracious xd (also, i hope you're feeling better now, have some cookies 🍪🍪🍪)

hello hello! thanks so much anon for stopping by!!

tal's in for a big reveal soon, once our disembodied voice decides to stop being so darn vague and actually say it like it is for once. i suppose if you've been alive for millenia uncounted, you're bound to forget some things. give the eldritch god a break, entity!

the next chapter will likely be ashley, i've got a setup and payoff for sam being the last one. also, once I've gotten the whole 8 chapters published, it Will be rewritten to cover plotholes and make it more coherent!

thank you for the cookies anon, i will treasure them ❤️❤️❤️ have a lovely lovely day, wherever you are in the world!!!

#anon ask #my askbox is open #thank you anon!!!

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puwumats · 3 years

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critical role outfit vibes (pt2)

in honor of the m9 vs vm one shot, here’s another one of these posts bc the vibes tonight are impeccable

ashley: ma’am. ma’am. how are you so cute. the hairbuns? the eyeliner? the slightly crooked goggles resting on her forehead? the black would be insufferable in the post-apocalyptic heat, but as the goths of old have shown us, you can’t be hot without risking possible heatstroke. i am surrounded by water thieves, who want me not only for my precious few bottles of water, but also my juicy dump truck ass. i try to fight them off, but there’s just too many of them. suddenly the one nearest to me’s head explodes, and screaming through the spray of blood and viscera is ashley, riding a tricked out quad bike. she makes quick work of the water thieves and holds a hand down to me. i gently grasp her hand, and she takes me back with her to her utopia hidden among the sand dunes. 10/10

marisha: we meet at a LARP gathering. i’ve never been before, so i’m nervous. she takes me under her wing, guiding me through the ways of a warrior. i can’t stop thinking about warrior cats jokes. i see her defeat three men in single combat. i lose her in the crowd of people after this, and never see her again. the warcraft movie blue face paint and the goggles give me steampunk warrior, but the single-armed fishnet glove and leather bustier gives me 2008 scene kid. both of these are specifically designed towards me so 8/10

laura: harley quinn without the clowncore. she’s that cool chick at a roller derby that’s super sweet to everyone out of game, but will go absolutely lethal the minute her skates hit the rink. would kick my ass and i would thank her, but there’s nothing too crazy with this outfit - i would wear this out in public. 6/10

liam: Erik Phantomoftheopera called, he wants his mask back. the feathers on the black hood is tight as fuck tho - i’m pretty sure he’s wearing a fishnet shirt underneath as well. kinda gives me “theatre kid that shows up in full cosplay to a halloween party where everyone is just dressed sluttily” vibes. again, he will instantly die of heatstroke the minute the apocalypse happens but like, what a way to go. 8/10

sam: whatever energy the insane clown posse has, this outfit has the opposite of that. haunts me, even when i close my eyes. this man walks up to me in the aisles of a 24 hour corner store and asks me if i’ve seen god. i clutch my doritos close to my chest and weakly tell him i’m agnostic, so no. he grins too widely at me, and tells me “you will”, and then walks away. the woman on the bean cans next to me stares as i contemplate what the fuck i just experienced. -100000/10

tal: 18th century vampire who’s lived the last 50 years in vegas. will officiate your wedding, however any children born of this union will have their souls tied to the eldritch god that he made a deal with back in ‘83 (which ‘83? he’ll never tell). this doesn’t impede these children in any way, but they do find themselves drawn to leopard print for unknown reasons and will be goth.

travis: this is a t-shirt and a pauldron, with some eyeliner as a treat. he also immediately took all of this off after the intro. would not last in the apocalypse. 3/10

#critical role spoilers #critical role #cr #critrole #m9 vs vm #vox machina #mighty nein #vox machina vs mighty nein

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vexing-imogen · 3 years

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Making my own wish list of Campaign 3 PC classes, just for funsies

I’m already like 90% convinced Liam is gonna play a druid, so...

I’d love to see Ashley play a bard. It would be such a departure from both Pike and Yasha, and it would be great

I will give my soul for a Wild Magic sorcerer. either Sam or Laura, I feel like they’d lean into that chaos the hardest

Alternate for Sam; monk or fighter

Alternate for Laura; rogue or warlock (Let. Her. Have. Her. First. Choice)

Let. Taliesin. Tank. Barbarian Tal, please and thank you (either that or a ranger, ranger could be cool)

I’d love to see Travis play a purely support class, but make it Weird. Blood Cleric, yo

Marisha as a wizard would be Spectacular imo. let her be Squishy and Dramatique

#critical role #critical role cast #liam o'brien #ashley johnson #sam riegel #laura bailey #taliesin jaffe #travis willingham #marisha ray

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readbythestarlight · 3 years

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c3e1

HOLY SHIT HERE WE GO

okay idk if it’s my TV of what but something about the set loots weirdly cgi?

First Sam ad!!

So far so… normal…?

Ah there we go, that’s more like it

I hope this isn’t a trend of us not actually getting at the table ads but I do love a good Sam song

Ashley my wife I have missed you so much

Oooo I want that hoodie

I NEED THE HENRY CRABGRASS SET IMMEDIATELY

Wait okay so how long after C2 are we I need to know

HERE WE GOOOOO

Apex war okay

I’m not gonna remember any of this lore but I’m loving it

Oooooo!! FIRST CHARACTER INTROS HERE WE GO!!

I haven’t even taken in the table composition yet!! There’s so much to think about!!

Will they be siblings?

Laura: light purple hair, SOFT SOUTHERN?? shy. Human? Sorcerer!! Imogen.

Marisha: GOTH GIRL AW YES. Warlock/sorcerer. Helllll yeah. Oh very goth. Played by Helena Bonham Carter in the motion picture coming summer 2027. Laudna.

Oh good, they know each other already!

DO NOT DENY MY SWEET SOUTHERN GIRL WHAT SHE WANTS

how dare

I am so in love with Imogen’s accent.

First roll! What is our magic number gonna be?

12 it is!

"Nobody knows who is on the Taldore council—" :P

Sam and Tal?? Amazing

WHAT COLOR TAL

WHAT COLOR

Hobo… rogue? I’m betting rogue.

Taliesin: he/they EARTH GENASI IVE BEEN DYING FOR A GENASI PURPLEEEEEE I CALLED IT. Barbarian?? Ashton.

Tal once again killing cosplayers with his character design

It’s a robot holy shit

Sam: F.C.G. oh my god the robot shirt really was a hint I’m dying. A CLERIC ROBOT. A SOUTHERN. ROBOT.

Court of Miracles vibes are off the charts

I love how last campaign we had one character with a southern accent for half a campaign and now we’ve got two

Spire by Fire sounds rad

Awww therapy robot who wants to fix all the broken people awww

"I can’t taste."

FRESH CUT GRAAAAASS! :D

Robby??

Guest?? In the first ep?

Okay okay

Where is Travis I want to know who Travis is going to beeeee

It’s their?? EXU characters??

Ashley: Faunnnnn! Fearne. Druid!!

Liam: Orim. Halfling fighter.

I have some mixed feelings of having pre-established characters, just because I like the fully clean slate? Not a complaint though!

Robbie: Dorian. Bard. Air genasi heck yeah gettin’ all that genasi rep.

So is Robbieeeee like a guest or is he now part of the main cast because this feels like cast and I have some Mixed Feelings

Where is TRAVIS?

Wait wait wait aren’t Orym and Dorian dating?

Ooo please tell me this has to do with Travis

Uhhhh??

Travis? Where is? Travis?

Where?? Is Travis??

IM NOT GONNA BE SEE TRAVIS’ NEW CHARACTER BEFORE I HAVE TO GO TO BED

THERE HE IS oh thank god

oh my god I literally told my sister that I hoped he played an old man and he is IM CRYING

I love that so far the party alignment feels like it’s leaning towards chaotic stupid

"Eldritch blahst"

Traviiiiiiis!

Travis: Sir Bertrand Bell. A fighter. Highest intelligent of the group. I fucking love him.

OH MY GOD Sam and his gas can I’m wheezing

I’m calling it: Travis is a gambler in over his head who needs protection

Made it to break now I gotta go to bed but I’m so excited for this

"Motley crew" is 10000% right

Oh Ashton def has people after him xD

"Fair. *I* would know but."

Lord Estoros

Also I’m so fascinated by a character introduction also being like the first hook of the show

Mmmm they’re sus of Bertrand and tbh so am I

Leave Fresh Cut Grass alone about their name

Former Associate ooooo

Aww

Tragic Backstory right out of the gate?? Damn.

Y’all stop pestering the poor baby

Also if this is what Sam is willing to share episode one imagine how much worse is the actual backstory going to be

Oh fuck we’re getting into the "does this Unit have a Soul?" feels SAM IM NOT READY FOR THIS

Whitestone???

So Laudna right. Undead?

Ashton just being like "just go with it buddy live a little"

6 gold oh no xD

By the way I’d marry Ferne

Okay so the telepathy huh what’s that

The MOOD lighting

Okay okay what’s up with her I need to know

Strange things, huh?

Awww. Okay I like Dorian

Oh poor Dorian awww xD

Ferne is my WIFE

TWO mindreaders??

RIP to Ashton’s purse

The very clean one?? Dorian??

FCG stop you’re so sweet

Bertrand don’t get their hopes up

Travis is playing such a lying liar

I want this Lord Whoever to be a vampire and idk why

I want it

Please I’m such trash for vampires give it to me

He’s SO a vampire right?? Right??

DAMN

I wanted a vampire

Unless it’s a vampire orc

“This campaign is about silver foxes ONLY” god I hope so

God I’ve missed them

#cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #critical role #c3e1

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cranesofibycus · 4 years

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I was very curious about which class/race combination the cast would pick for the Darrington Brigade live show. It was a chance for them to try something new and test it out in Exandria (and not take it too seriously). And I love what their choices revealed about each of them:

Laura: She adores characters that look cool and can do cool stuff and that can do some sweet, sweet damage. By now everyone has picked up on how fantastic monks are, thanks to Beau and how brilliantly Marisha plays her. And combining the Way of the Four Elements with a genasi is wonderfully camp. You could tell how much Laura immediately loved that class when she called out Stunning Strike without caring about the damage she would do. A very sleek character design.

Taliesin: Mister ‘I’ve played every class already I just want to try something new’ meets Mister ‘But I also am the biggest min/maxer at that table’. Tal loves clever character designs, where he can outsmart the Player’s Handbook. And I have to give it to him: Rogue/Barbarian is a brilliant combination (get automatic sneak attack with every reckless attack? COOL!). And to turn that into a Batman caricature is *chef’s kiss* perfection.

Liam: He said in the Q&A before the live show that Laura and Travis taught him to just have fun with character creation and, boy, does it feel like he had fun here. He has never played the tank, and it was super refreshing to see him play the dumbest guy at the table. He chose the perfect combination for both: Ogre (which is not an official playable race in 5e, but has very low INT as a monster) and Fighter. But it’s also interesting that Liam can’t just play dumb and tank without a little bit of depth. Buddy was more than comic relief; he had heart and soul and the reaction to him has, naturally, been a unanimous ‘WE PROTECC!’ from the fandom.

Travis: Great to see that playing a warlock has taken away some of his apprehension about playing spellcasters, even if Travis still lacks some of the most basic knowledge about it (and we love him for that). The main campaign showcases every week how versatile clerics are and Travis went for a very strong build with the war domain (presumed) and war caster feat. Also! Travis playing a small race in Exandria! It was even better than I had anticipated and I really hope we get more of that in a future third campaign.

Ashley: Let’s pick a brand-spanking-new Unearthed Arcana Fighter subclass and pair it with half-elf of all races. Sure. We do not care about min/maxing in the Johnson household and we’re not afraid to show it in our character designs. It was really cool to see the Rune Knight used in that way, showing that they are a mix of Artificer and Barbarian, which allows the kind of things Ashley likes to do: Being up close and personal with the enemy, but also interacting with the world and her fellow players in weird and unexpected ways.

Marisha: ‘It’s impossible for any of them to play a bard after Scanlan’ LOLOLOLOLOLOL Marisha eats your weird bard-opinions for breakfast, lunch and dinner! She said a while back that she had an idea for a bard character and I’m so, so glad that she got to play her. Dwarf-bard is not an optimal race/class combination if you’re looking just at stats, but also means that Hazel is heartier than your average bard and can take a bit more damage. I love that Marisha returned to a hardcore spellcaster class, which she seemed to enjoy, and that she didn’t shy away from choosing bard in the first place. Someone had to break the Scanlan-seal and Marisha was the perfect trailblazer to do that.

#critical role #darrington brigade

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that-cartoony-villain · 2 years

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its thursday!!! and that means i finally have the time to try and watch critrole live! so watch out for spoilers cause i like to write out random thoughts while i watch stuff but its mostly incomprehensible screaming in text format :p enjoy!

lets go noedvpn sponsor!!! i love this saga so much and the effects on the background are amazing!!!! LETS GO WHOLE CAST AD!! travis rap career when lmao

BEST PLAN IS NO PLAN AT ALL LETS GO ASHLEY!!! fake it till you make it!! i just love fearne so much...

YES TAL BREAK THAT FUCKING DOOR! oh no their biggest enemy... a door

YES FEARNE GIRLBOSS YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS SHIT!!!

WEREWOLF GURGE???? HOLY SHIT!!! I LOVE ASHLEY AND MATT HSUAHSUA SHE GAVE HIM A POISON PLANT TO DRINK WITH MILK LATER YESSS BSUAVWUAH

chetney is also the best hsuahuw

THE SHADE ON TRAVIS HSUSHAJSIW imogen is best horse girl and laura not knowing shit about horses makes this great

i just get so immersed in their role playing that i forgot to comment lol anyway i love this group and their shenanigans

oh no chetney plan lets see how this goes hhskaoxbai i love travis just fucking with robbie its amazing

oh no it got worse they are terrible at plans i love them

I LOVE PRETTY SO MUCH ALREADY!!!!! i cant believe they managed to do this shit havzuavak

pls send help its 2am and i cant make noises and theyre making me laugh so much but itll be worth it if the parentals get mad at me

break time! dont forget to hydrate, go to the bathroom and eat something if you havent in a while! i dont care that this is going to be posted altogether.. if youre reading this take a sip of water or eat some snacks ot whatever!

oh shit i missed a couple minutes cause i was distracted... and i come back to chetney getting shot by a crossbow lmao

OMG IMOGEN YES!!! pretty got a date with three beautiful women... im sure its gonna be fearne flirting with everyone the whole time

i love that they just now realized how fucked up going after gurge is hsuabsuab like yeah there are other ways to get chetney to where he wants to be but it would be fucking cool to meet a werewolf...

I LOVE CHETNEY AND DORIAN THEYRE HILARIOUS TOGETHER!!! omg ashton wanting to keep dorians brother safe ;-; i love them

love how laura and marisha just shut down a lot of headcanons for imodna with them saying they havent had dates yet... also im sensing a bit of a history there ashton hsusvwuwvsu SAM PLEASE

fuck yeah matt geeking out about astronomy that he created because of course this man wouldve thought about these things

i love whenever they get awestruck by the background changing because its so fucking cool and i know theyre very proud of it as they should!

yall made the robot malfunction... now we gotta go repair them hsusbuwvq theyre all hilarious

also i find it hilarious that they met chetney like a day ago and theyre already sending him to spy on shit alone... he's stuck in that room and i have a feeling travis is gonna have to make another character soon lmao

HE FUCKING DID IT!!! JUMPED OUT OF THE WINDOW!!!! YOU MAD LAD I HOPE HE MANAGES TO ESCAPE!!!

this was so fucking worth staying up for! watching live is amazing!!!! im excited for next thursday!!!!! and thank you for reading i guess? im sorry? 乁(ツ)ㄏ

#critical role spoilers #cr spoilers #cr c3e9 #arties unnecessary commentary #long post

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ricardo367things · 2 years

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|La Admiración y Envidia de Jhon|

Este relato está inspirado en mi historia “|Enfrentamiento|Jhon & Stom|”, espero que les guste.

Está muy claro que la admiración en algunos casos está relacionado con la envidia, y eso lo sabe el tunek híbrido (tunek mitad humano, mitad cerdito) Jhon Wilson más que nadie.

Habían pasado unos días después de que Jhon fue a la iglesia para eliminar a su madre adoptiva Ashley Robinson con el objetivo de que su plan se desempeñe de manera eficiente, a pesar de que logró su cometido, Jhon se sentía destrozado por haber lastimado a un ser querido tan cercano durante su infancia, pero el daño ya estaba hecho y lastimosamente no podía hacer nada para revertirlo.

El tunek híbrido (tunek mitad humano, mitad lobo) Stom Aponte se había enterado de lo sucedido en la iglesia y con furia pero con preocupación, Stom decide enfrentarse a su hermano mayor para terminar con esta locura de una vez.

Un día como cualquier otro, los dos hermanos se encontraban en un lugar aislado de los pueblos tunek, intercambiando unas palabras antes de iniciar el combate.

- Me doy cuenta de que te has vuelto muy fuerte desde la última vez que nos enfrentamos ¿Cómo está Laura por cierto? - preguntó Jhon con una pequeña sonrisa en la cara.

- Después de lo que hiciste con nuestra madre eres la persona menos indicada para responderte esa pregunta maldita escoria - respondió Stom con furia y frialdad en su tono de voz.

- Lo sé, y déjame decirte que estas en todo tu derecho de estar enojado conmigo Stom - dijo Jhon con toda la tranquilidad del mundo.

- ¿Por qué has echo tal atrocidad? - preguntó Stom tratando de no perder la poca paciencia que le quedaba al ver que su hermano mayor estaba muy tranquilo.

- Porque era necesario si quería cumplir mi propósito como tunek y demostrar que los humanos son inferiores a nosotros - respondió Jhon alargando su sonrisa de una forma anormal.

- Me sorprende tu tranquilidad y falta de prudencia en estos momentos - dijo Stom un poco más calmado crujiendo sus dedos, cosa que Jhon apreció con sus ojos sabiendo que la pelea estaba a punto de comenzar.

- ¿Sabes? Te admiro mucho Stom - fue lo que dijo Jhon de la nada, dejando a su hermano desconcertado y confundido por el repentino cambio de tema.

Y aunque el propio Stom no lo creyera, las palabras de Jhon eran sinceras, pues en el fondo admiraba a Stom por haber madurado y superar su derrota cuando se enfrentó al supertunek Wilker Morrison; lo admiraba por superarse a sí mismo, aceptar su fracaso, seguir adelante y no verse afectado mentalmente luego de enfrentarse a Wilker, y por esa misma razón lo envidiaba demasiado por evolucionar y se una mejor persona que él, lo envidiaba por ser su mejor amigo y hermano menor, por haber pasado toda su vida con él, y lo envidiaba por no ser lo suficientemente estúpido para hacer actos abominables y horrible como lo hizo él.

- ¿Y eso por qué? - fue lo que preguntó Stom incrédulo por las palabras de Jhon, a lo que respondió lo siguiente.

- Te admiro por ser una mejor persona que yo, por superar tu derrota, crecer, y por esa misma razón te envidio, ahora entiendo tu ambición por superarme, pero déjame decirte que ya lo hiciste -

Stom no sabía qué decir al respecto, no iba a negar que se sentía alagado por las palabras de su hermano mayor, sin embargo, no podía evitar sentir culpabilidad y pena por esas mismas palabras.

- Te admiro y te envidio por ser mi hermano -

Fue lo que dijo Jhon Wilson antes de intercambiar puñetazos con su hermano menor Stom Aponte, dando inicio al enfrentamiento finalmente.

Fin.

Thank you for reading!!!

#tunek #jhonwilson #stomaponte #admiración #envidia #enfrentamiento #conversación #wilkermorrison #sagadeltunekcorrupto #RicardoMedina #oneshot

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cadaceus · 3 years

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C2E136

(Sorry about the gif header, y’all. But you know I had to!) This episode literally had so many reveals and SO MUCH HAPPENED so this week’s live-blogging is extra long (with lots of capital letters and exclamation points!) There were points where I literally laughed out loud, and points where I gasped and buried my face in my hands. Things are really ramping up, and I truly feel like things are going to culminate soon! My very spoilery liveblogs for Campaign 2, Episode 136 are below!

- I can’t believe I missed one (1) half hour of this show and there were TWO big reveals dfghfjklf I am never coming in late again I AM GOING FERAL OVER HERE

- T-Doc Project?? 👀 I wanna know what this all means!

- Yasha’s power walking, I love her

- THE TIME TRAVEL CIRCLE I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT THIS IS FINALLY HAPPENING, I knew Aeor had been dabbling in some Dunamancy stuff but this is even juicier after Caleb and Essek’s conversation earlier about time travel and resisting temptations

- “Primal Artifact studied by Ayoshadaf” the WHAT now? ...OH MY GOD THE BEACON

- LAURA IS SO FREAKING SMART, THE ECHOES ARE DEFINITELY THE MAGES TRAPPED IN THE BUBBLES

- “They never fund science enough” This is why Essek stole the beacons in the first place, his research wasn’t getting funded 😔 /j

- Yasha, crumbled a tower because of curiosity: “Yes yes yes curiosity is not enough of a motivation definitely not” I love her so much, Ashley’s humor is always so on point

- Essek keeps talking about coming back [with Caleb], I wonder if he is starting to think that he might actually live/have a future.... 🥺

- “It’s complicated” this is the closest we’re gonna get I love them though let’s go wizards let’s gooooo

- Not an Intuit Charge ohhhhhhh oh oh

- YASHA’S UNCONSCIOUS AND EVERYONE HAS LIKE 72 POINTS OF DAMAGE ON THEM THIS IS NOT IDEAL

- “Oh, hi” “Hi! :) You want me to keep carrying you?” “Yeah, let’s go” Fjorester is so cuuuute

- Sam making fun of Caleb’s spellcasting dfgfhjklgg it’s called having style, king!!

- TWO HUMANOID FIGURES..... THEY ARE SO CLOSE UH OH

- Oh yeahhhh Lucien has the Telepathy too ruh roh

- Are we getting the fight today??? AAAAHHH

- Alright everyone I have stocked up on Oreos and chocolate milk lets do this thing!

- MOLLY IS STILL THERE??/??? CIRCUS MAN...

- Lucien pulling the lever as he stands up is so cool, he truly does have the flare

- THEY’RE GOING TO THE CITY??? AND THERE ARE EYES IN THE TOWERS.... THIS AESTHETIC.....

- rolling initiative here we goooo

- WHY IS IT IMMUNE TO SO MUCH JHDSKL;FK

- Awwwe, Tiny Veth! That could have been worse, it’s actually pretty cute

- This dramatic moment of “I successfully teleport and then immediately shift into a sheep and go through the portal” is both Peak D&D and is making me cry-laugh (a SHEEP)

- “Anything for my princess~” ASHLEY LMAO

- Tal’s “how DARE you!” is so funny, I’m laughing more at this scary fight than I was expecting to!

- Essek is going through it over here aaah thank goodness for Misty Step

- I’m so nervous about Jester, someone please save her please let her be okayyyy

- AYYYYYYYY THEY DID IT OH MY GOD I CAN BREATHE AGAIN

- I love you all very much, and is it Thursday yet? (I’m both excited and terrified...!)

#cr spoilers #critical role #c2e136 #my liveblogs #cr2 #critical role spoilers #so much happens all the time??#this episode has everything #sprinkle is a god / empire sibs superpowers / time travel / 'it's complicated' / molly in lucien's head? / legendary monster / SHEEP CALEB

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