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arckook · 5 years

Text

around and around - five

pairing: cho seungyoun x reader, kim wooseok x reader

au: idolverse

warnings: none

wordcount: 4.6k

description: you’ve had a one-sided crush on your close friend seungyoun for who knows how long, but things don’t stay so black and white when he introduces you to his new groupmate kim wooseok.

Jamiezzz

*sent image*

everyone look at our baby seungyoun at this photoshoot manz looks a fool

Beoneon

I think hyung looks good though?

Hyunggu🤪

Hansol can you read the mood. She’s trashing Seungyoun-hyung because he actually looks good

Beoneon

Oh ya I see it now

Jamiezzz

y/n y/n y/n where are you

respond

dont leave me alone here with these boring men

You sigh, reading over the recent messages in your friends’ group chat. Shaking your head slightly, you set your phone down in your lap, watching through the large mirror in front of you as your hairdresser lays the bleach onto your hair.

“I’m surprised you finally agreed to going blonde!” she says, looking excited to do something more interesting with your head. You tend to stick with a darker look, because it’s easier to take care of.

“I just want a change,” you tell her, smiling.

And it’s true.

You almost feel like one of those girls who has gone through a crazy breakup, and does something drastic to her hair to try and cope emotionally.

You’re just not going through a breakup, and also not doing it yourself so you don’t piss off your management.

You glance down at your phone again and see a few more texts.

Hyunggu🤪

Boring? BORING?

Jamiezzz

boring boys can you tell me if it’s just me who thinks seungyoun and y/n are acting weird

this is a necessary callout bc its making me feel uncomfy

Beoneon

Do you have to make them feel awkward…

Jamiezzz

so you DO agree

Beoneon

I never said that

Hyunggu🤪

I agree

They keep ignoring us in the gc

Whichever one of you shows up here first is not a loser

Jamiezzz

boy are you 12? tf kind of tactic is that

Youn

There’s nothing wrong. Sorry I haven’t kept up much with you guys the past couple of weeks!

Hyunggu🤪

“tF kInD oF tAcTiC iS tHaT”

You read over Seungyoun’s message a few times, your eyes drawn to his name, to his contact image. It’s one of the only pictures of him that you’ve taken yourself- from one of the first times you’d even met him. He put on these dumb sunglasses and pushed his hair all the way back and flat against his head. It looked stupid, but at the time you thought it was funny and endearing enough to set at his photo.

There’s nothing wrong.

For some reason, you can’t bring yourself to believe that he actually feels that way.

You still feel sick to your stomach when you think back to his expression that night, when you told him you didn’t want him to take you home. Not that you didn’t want to be taken home… that it was him that was the problem.

He’s probably confused.

But you can’t explain it. You can’t.

“I think a more silvery blonde will look good on you,” your hairdresser chirps, cutting into your thoughts. “Would you be open to that?”

“Oh, sure,” you answer, knowing your voice sounds a little half-hearted. “Can you cut some layers too? I’m curious what that would look like on me.”

“Totally!” she says, folding up a foil. “It’s going to look so good!”

A few hours later, when your new hair is completely bleached, toned, colored, cut, and blow-dried into a flowy and shiny curtain of silver-blonde, you post a picture of the new look on your instagram, feeling a little better from seeing yourself look so different.

“Y/N-ah!”

You turn to see your group members, who all came from the dorm to get you from the salon so you can all get lunch together.

Eunmi oohs and ahhs at your hair, running her fingers through it. “It actually looks soft!”

“That’s what happens when you don’t bleach the shit out of it like me,” Jiseo says, pinching a piece of her own hair, currently a faded minty green color, and cringing at it.

“Yeah, you should cut it, Unnie. Your ends look bad.” Soohyun says to the oldest, who sticks out her tongue.

“Now three of us are basically blondes,” Eunmi pats your head. “I’m the only brunette left.”

“Don’t worry, Y/N won’t last long,” Jiseo jokes as she takes your hand, slotting her fingers in the spaces between yours. “She’s just going through emotional turmoil.”

“I am so not,” you mutter as the four of you start walking through the building towards the parking garage.

“Y/N-unnie isn’t going through emotional turmoil, she’s just trying to look good for her new man,” Soohyun says, snickering even before Eunmi and Jiseo snap towards you, eyes wide.

“What?” Jiseo exclaims, and all you can do is glare intensely at Soohyun.

“That is also not accurate,” you grit your teeth as you talk.

“It so is,” she sing-songs, swinging her bag in front of her as you all keep walking. “His name is Kim Wooseok. Don’t worry, he’s handsomer than Cho Seungyoun.”

“Don’t say that about Seungyoun,” you tell her with a frown, but she just shrugs.

“It’s not like I called him ugly.”

“Isn’t Kim Wooseok his groupmate?” Eunmi wonders aloud, seemingly over the fact that Soohyun referred to him as your man.

“Yeah,” you answer simply.

“Is that who you’ve been meeting up with the past few weeks?” Jiseo asks, which nearly makes you jump out of your skin, stopping in your tracks with wide eyes. Your leader glances over at you, a knowing smile on her face. “Y/N, did you think I didn’t notice you sneaking out whenever we had time?”

“I…” you trail off, a little embarrassed. “Um… yeah… I thought that.”

“Ooo-hoo-hoo!” Eunmi grins, and shoves you gently. “So it is like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like that,” she says suggestively, and you smack her arm.

“No, it’s-”

“Y/N-unnie sends him selfies,” Soohyun adds, making you groan and the other girls ooh and ahh even more.

“Yah, L/N Y/N!” Jiseo physically grabs and shakes you, her lips pulled into a wide smile. “I know as a leader I should scold you, but this is great news. You can finally get over Seungyoun.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” you whine, throwing your head back in frustration. “We are just friends!”

“Oooookay,” Jiseo hums, as you all exit the building into the parking garage. “Anyway, check out this spot I got. Someone was leaving right as we came in.”

“Lucky,” you comment as the car comes into view, glad of the change of topic.

The four of you get into the car, you and Soohyun automatically going to the backseat as you have done since the very first time you all went somewhere together.

You glance down at your phone as the girls start discussing where you should go to eat, and are surprised to see another notification from your groupchat.

Jamiezzz

*sent image*

so y/n can post on insta but not respond to her best friends i see how it is😔

Beoneon

Woahhhh Y/N your hair

Jamiezzz

you can compliment but she’s not gonna respond😭😤

You sigh, your front teeth latching onto your bottom lip.

You feel bad, to put it plainly.

It’s not like you’re intentionally trying to ignore all of your friends… you just feel uncomfortable talking when you know Seungyoun will read it.

You

thanks vernon :)

sorry weve had a lot of shoots and stuff recently i dont have much time to be on my phone

Hyunggu🤪

She’s alive

Jamiezzz

wait y/n are you sleeping and eating :(

you were sick

You

im ok

Jamiezzz

take care of urself and ur new awesome hair girlie

You

sure thing

“Y/N-unnie,”

You turn your head to see Soohyun looking over at you, her brows furrowed. “You look stressed.”

“...No,” you smile, shaking your head. You reach over and take her hand, squeezing it. “I’m totally fine.”

“And then they made me wear this,” you find the picture you’d been looking for in your camera roll and turn your phone around, displaying the bizarre outfit you’d had to wear for a recent magazine spread. “Like, what is that? I’m embarrassed that documentation of this even exists.”

“It’s not that bad,” Wooseok hums, taking a bite of his cake. He does it delicately, and with a degree of elegance, like he does pretty much everything.

You huff, turning your phone off and setting it down on the table. “Well, thanks, I guess. I’m still in shock though.”

“By the way, Y/N,” Wooseok starts as you dig your fork into your own dessert, lifting a sizable chunk of the cheesecake to your mouth. “Why do you keep asking for me to meet up with you?”

You frown as soon as the words leave his mouth, setting the fork with your cake back down on the plate. “What?”

He shrugs, but it almost looks tense. Wooseok avoids meeting your eyes as he talks, instead trailing his fork around on the plate in front of him. “We agreed on me not spying on Seungyoun for you anymore. That was the whole reason we met up and ate together, but you’ve still been contacting me.”

You lean back in your chair, regarding him with furrowed brows and teeth latching onto your lower lip. “I don’t… are you saying it’s bothersome to meet up with me?”

Wooseok’s eyes flash up. “I didn’t say that. I’m just-”

“Well it feels like you’re saying that.” you cut him off, grip on your fork tightening as you look down at the table. “You could have just turned me down if you don’t like seeing me.”

“You’re not a bother, Y/N,” Wooseok says, and since you can practically hear the apology in his voice, you glance up to meet his gaze. It’s one of the few times you’ve seen him truly frown. “I shouldn’t have said it that way. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t really know what you’re trying to say,” you mutter, looking away again. “I didn’t just cut you off after the ‘no more Seungyoun updates’ thing because I like you and I want to be friends with you. Sorry if you didn’t feel that way.”

“Y/N-ah,” Wooseok says, clearly trying to get your attention, but you ignore him, because you feel a little hurt. “Y/N-ah. That’s not what I meant.”

“Okay, then what did you mean?” you ask, knowing bitterness is seeping into your tone.

“I just thought that… you might be trying to make up for asking me that favor in the first place.” at this, you look up, confused. Wooseok fidgets a little, which is uncharacteristic for him. “I could tell that you were feeling uncomfortable about it that day that I came to get you from Jimin-ssi’s place. I thought you might be feeling guilty, so I was going to tell you that you didn’t have to be.”

“...Oh.” you say.

It’s quiet for a second, because as a somewhat emotional person, you need a moment to recover from what you thought was about to become a total betrayal of your friendship with Wooseok, and you think he might feel a little awkward.

After you’ve had a minute to contemplate what he just told you, you sit up and take that bite of cheesecake you’d been preparing before, looking at Wooseok with all (probably not all, realistically… but most) of the distress wiped from your face. “You’re kind of right. I did feel guilty about it due to certain circumstances, but that’s not why I keep in touch with you. I just like you. And it’s fun having a friend that isn’t friends with the rest of my friends.”

One corner of Wooseok’s lips turns up, in that almost smirky way that he often does. Subconsciously, you think. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“...Can you apologize one more time though? Because that kind of upset me for a second.”

At this, he chuckles quietly. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

About twenty minutes later, after Wooseok has documented the outing with a picture of you and the food (he says he likes doing that because he can’t post pictures of most of his idol friends on social media) you leave the dessert cafe and head out onto the streets of Seoul together. You’re in a quieter area with a lot of parks, but since it’s nighttime, there’s not many people around aside from the occasional group of teenagers or drunk couple.

Eunmi is currently covering for you by having told your manager that the two of you went out for dinner together even though she’s actually just at her brother’s house, so you’ll have to meet up with her soon and go home. But for now, you’re enjoying walking around in the cold air with Wooseok.

He’s been quiet for a few minutes, though, and you’re considering questioning it when he finally speaks up.

“I know you said that day that you didn’t want to talk about it,” Wooseok starts, looking straight ahead as you two walk through a park. “But I can’t lie that I’m not curious. What made you not want to hear about Seungyoun anymore?”

You glance over at Wooseok, biting hard on your lower lip. You’re not sure if you really want to say.

He looks to the side to meet your gaze, and holds it. “He’s seemed uncomfortable too, the past couple of weeks. He was in his room when I got back after taking you home that night, and Seungwoo-hyung said he went straight there when he came back to the dorm. Did something happen between you two?”

You tug on your fingers, pulling at the fabric of your gloves, and look away from Wooseok, coming to a stop. “Not really. I mean, a little bit, but it wasn’t like…”

You sigh, feeling without being able to see the judgemental look Wooseok is definitely giving you right now. “Basically, Seungyoun-oppa brought a girl with him to this get-together thing. I didn’t even know he was coming so it was kinda a shock, but she seemed nice and Jimin-unnie even said they were friends so I went with it. But this girl got me alone with her at one point and asked…” you sigh again, clasping your hands together. “She wanted me to pretty much do what you were doing for me. See what Seungyoun was saying about her, get him to like her and make her look good to him. I guess that… it just made me regret having asked that of you. Maybe it’s also because I was kind of drunk, but I almost threw up, too.”

“...Oh. I see.” Wooseok says plainly. You glance up to see his expression, expecting the judgemental look, but he just looks… concerned? “You never asked me to make you look good to Seungyoun, though. You just asked me to tell you what he says about you. Those are different.”

You shrug. “I guess. It felt the same, though. That’s why I wanted to tell you that you don’t have to anymore right away. And I really wanted to leave. There was no way I was going to be able to hang out with this girl after she told me that she’s in love with him.”

“In love with him?” Wooseok scoffs. “What’s her name? That seems dramatic to me.”

You crack a smile. “Her name was Sahee.”

Wooseok gives an unimpressed look. “Well he’s never even mentioned her, so I doubt that she’s that important to him.”

You shrug again.

After a moment, Wooseok continues. “So nothing happened at all between you and Seungyoun?”

You rub your arm, sending a grim smile his way. “Geez, you really want to know, don’t you?”

He tucks his hands in his pockets. “It’s just that I can tell something is weird between you two, and I don’t even see you at the same time.”

“Well, it wasn’t much,” you say, accepting your fate and just deciding to tell him. “Sahee must have told him I was feeling sick, so he came to check on me, and wanted to take me home. I told him I’d take a taxi… that was after I texted you. He was insisting at least on taking me downstairs but I didn’t really want to see him in that moment, plus it’s not like I was actually planning on a taxi, so…” you shake your head, sighing once again. “I don’t know. I guess I kind of hurt his feelings in the process.”

“If you were rude to him you should think about apologizing,” Wooseok says bluntly.

Wow. Absolutely no mercy.

“Yeah, I mean… I figured…” you mumble, crossing your arms. “I don’t really know if it was rude though. It was more like… uncalled for.”

“That means rude in most people’s vocabulary,” Wooseok says with a sigh, then starts walking again, which means you have to as well to keep up. “Anyway, he keeps being mopey so even if you don’t apologize, text him or something.”

“Can’t you tell him to text me first?” you mutter, not intending for Wooseok to hear, but you guess that he does by the glare you see him shoot you from your peripherals.

“No.”

You groan. “Okay, maybe tomorrow. No promises though.”

“You’re such a kid,” Wooseok says, but when you look over, he’s smiling. “Want a ride home?”

“You don’t have to,” you say, but he shakes his head.

“Just accept. I’m avoiding going back to the dorm for as long as possible because Eunsang and Dohyon decided they wanted to host a ‘video game night’, and I don’t want my ears to bleed from the inevitable noise.”

You laugh loudly, already being able to imagine how much that would get on a lowkey person like Wooseok’s nerves. “Alright then. I’ll accept the ride home.”

You have a preliminary recording session the next day for your group’s next album, which is set to come out in March. Jiseo wanted you all to come in just to check out the current tracklist the company has agreed on and maybe start recording some vocals to see if it feels right.

You’ve been at it since the morning, and now that it’s lunchtime, you’re sitting in the room connected to the studio with the girls, who are all on their phones like you. You finished eating a while ago, and now you’re just staring at the messages you have with Seungyoun. You’ve never deleted his tab on your phone, so if you scroll up far enough, you’d be able to read the first ever text you sent him. Which was, if you remember correctly: “Hi Seungyoun-sunbaenim! It was nice to meet you :)”. That was the day after you were first introduced.

You sigh, setting your phone down and dropping your forehead to the table.

“What’s up with her?” Jiseo says with her mouth full.

“Maybe you were right about emotional turmoil,” Eunmi muses.

You lift your head up. “Do you have to gossip about me when I’m right here?”

“Duh.” Soohyun says, so you reach over and smack her arm (gently, you may add), which she whines dramatically at.

“What? Did something happen with Kim Wooseok yesterday night?” Eunmi asks, and you groan.

“No, unnie. Can you stop trying to act like he’s my boyfriend?”

“No, I cannot,” she responds, sticking out her tongue.

“Leave her to her emotional issues,” Jiseo says, once again through her chewing. “Eunmi-yah, Soohyun-ah, let’s go back in since you’re done eating. Y/N-ah, just come when you’re ready.”

“Thanks, unnie,” you tell her honestly as she leads the other girls out of the room, Soohyun scrunching up her nose at you before she closes the door.

You grab your phone again and look at the screen.

It’s been a while since you last texted Seungyoun. Not since November. It hits you that it’s been months since you had a real conversation with him, and you feel bad all over again.

Hey :) I just wanted to say sorry if I was acting weird at Jimin-unnie’s house that one time. I felt really sick and I think the alcohol was getting to me.

You type out the message, but your thumb hovers hesitantly over the send button. You end up pressing and holding on delete until the whole thing is gone.

Oppa, sorry for being rude that night. I wasn’t feeling well.

You read that one over a few times, and delete it too.

Seungyoun-oppa, I can’t remember well, but I think I was kind of rude to you that day at Jimin-unnie’s house. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it

You bite your lip, and then in a sudden moment of “who gives a fuck”, just hit send.

And then immediately groan at what you’ve done.

“Dumbass,” you mutter to yourself. “You remember everything.”

With a shake of your head, you get up and start gathering the takeout your group members had left on the table, probably thinking they’d just clean it up after. You throw everything that’s empty away, and then close up the containers of what isn’t done, stacking it in the middle of the table.

And then your phone starts ringing.

You nearly knock over the stack of styrofoam boxes it surprises you so much. You hurriedly walk back to where you were sitting, and pick up your phone, going cold when you see who’s calling.

“Fuck,” you whisper, your screen enveloped by that dumb picture of Seungyoun in the glasses. At least he’s just calling and it’s not Facetime.

You hit answer, unable to actually miss his call on purpose, and bring the phone up to your ear. “Hello?”

“Y/N-ah?” Seungyoun’s voice sounds out immediately, and the tension in your body skyrockets as you sit back down in your chair. “Is this a bad time?”

“No, I have a few minutes,” you answer, glancing through the window in the door to the recording studio, where you can barely see Jiseo and Soohyun with headphones on, Eunmi most likely recording some background vocals.

“Oh, good,” he breathes. “You… you got home okay that night?”

“Yeah, um, there were tons of taxis around,” you nod even though he can’t see you.

“Good,” Seungyoun repeats. “Were you really sick? Or did it pass the next day?”

“I think it was just the alcohol,” you try to reassure him. “I hadn’t drank for at least a month before that.”

“You don’t always drink like that, right?” he asks, then sighs, almost sounding a little strained. “It kind of worries me.”

“Why would you worry about that kind of stuff?” you ask, frowning. “You know I don’t get drunk easily.”

“Yeah, but look at what happened,” Seungyoun retorts. “You looked like you were about to pass out but you didn’t even want me to take you home. Someone in their right mind doesn’t act like that if they’re not totally wasted.”

You nearly let the words slip out: “There was more to it than that”.

But you snap your mouth shut before they do.

“I just feel like…” Seungyoun sighs again, sharper this time. “You never let me be worried about you. You brush it off every single time. It’s frustrating, Y/N.”

You’re at a loss for words.

Just... what?

“That’s not-” you start, then let out your own sharp sigh. “I don’t see how that’s a bad thing, though. You already have so many things going on, and I don’t want to be a burden, so-”

“When did I ever say that you’re a burden?” Seungyoun exclaims, interrupting. “You just assumed that! It’s like you want to be friends, but you don’t want me to actually care about you or be there for you!”

“That is not true,” you snap, your grip on your phone tightening. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Seungyoun.”

“I know exactly what I’m talking about,” he responds, note of frustration evident in his voice. “You haven’t been the same the past few months. You just haven’t.”

“Whatever,” you say, knowing it’s bratty. “You think you know everything but you can’t even see how oblivious you are.”

You know you’re edging on dangerous territory here, but the way he’s talking to you is making a frustration at him swell up that you’ve never felt before.

“Oblivious?” Seungyoun scoffs, a sharp laugh following. “Come on, Y/N.”

“What, you think it’s funny?” you question, hearing the hostility in your voice. “Did you stop to wonder what your friend Sahee was saying to me on the balcony? Did you even notice we were out there together before she went to tell you I was sick?”

“What are you even talking about?” he asks. “This isn’t the point right now-”

“It’s exactly the point, you don’t think you’re oblivious, but you were friends with her for years and never noticed that she’s in love with you!” you snap, your voice rising in volume over the sentence.

Seungyoun is silent after that, and the sense of regret starts to seep in instantly as you realize what you’ve done.

“...What did you say?” he asks, his voice quiet this time. “Sahee told you that she’s in love with me?”

You don’t answer, but he must take it as a yes.

Seungyoun is quiet still, but you can picture him, wherever he is, throwing his head back, pushing his hair through his fingers in agitation.

“Fuck,” he finally mumbles.

“I’m sorry,” you say, your voice small as your throat starts to close up. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No fucking kidding, Y/N,” Seungyoun says sharply. You can hear his grit teeth through the closed sound of his words.

You breathe in a heavy breath, trying not to start crying even though you can feel the tears welling up. “I’m sorry. Oppa, just pretend I didn’t say that-”

“L/N F/N,” he says, and you stop immediately. “Just don’t.”

You sniffle, holding the phone away from you so he can’t hear you as the tears start rolling down your cheeks.

“Fuck,” you hear Seungyoun repeat. “Fuck, I can’t believe this… all that time and she never told me?”

You hold back a sob, almost choking on it.

It almost sounds like he’s talking about you.

This is why he can never find out.

This is why you’ll never be able to tell him.

You let out just the first broken part of the kind of shuddering breath you take when you’re crying, and Seungyoun’s mumbling stops.

“Shit, Y/N-ah? Are you crying?”

You can’t find the voice to answer him, just trying hard not to openly cry.

“Y/N-ah,” he repeats. You hear Wooseok’s voice in your head from yesterday. Y/N-ah. That’s not what I meant.

“Y/N-ah, please don’t cry. Fuck, fuck.”

“I’m sorry,” you manage to get out, your voice tight and thin.

“No, it’s okay,” Seungyoun says quickly. “Don’t cry. I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you, I’m just shocked, listen, it’s okay, okay? Y/N-ah, don’t cry. I swear I’m not mad.”

“I’ll hang up now,” you say, taking another shuddering breath. “Please don’t tell Sahee I told you.”

“Don’t hang up,” Seungyoun scrambles to tell you. “L/N F/N, please don’t hang up right now-”

You pull the phone away from your face and tap the red button, and set it facedown on the table. It starts ringing again right away.

“What the hell is going on in here?” Jiseo’s voice sounds out from the doorway to the recording studio. You look up, and she gasps. “Yah, Y/N! Why are you crying?”

“Unnie,” you whimper, wiping at your eyes. “My heart really hurts right now.”

“Hey!” Jiseo shouts into the other room. “Everyone get in here!”

She walks over to your, pulling another chair up and quickly wrapping her arms around you, the ringing of your phone becoming background noise. “It’s okay. Whatever it is, it’s okay.”

Ring.

It doesn’t feel okay to you.

You are still in love with Cho Seungyoun.

And he will never know.

233 notes · View notes

lavendercaina · 5 years

Text

btw i had my first experience with a bong and weed that isnt 60000 years old and super dried out and shitty last weekend bc my bf’s brother ryo sold me some stupid strong hybrid and i wanna talk about my experience bc it was crazy. i never got this high before and it was both fun and also really uncomfortable bc i did not heed ryo’s warning of “the hybrid is really strong” and like the legendary icarus my hubris had come to be my fantastic undoing

so what i used was wedding cake and i took it through a mini bong which i got bc i wanted my bf to get high AT LEAST ONCE!! but he tried the pipe i had been using and it burned his throat too bad so i was like fine ill get a bong for your delicate virgin throat. i took a few little hits and went really slowly bc im a PUSSY and didnt want to cough up all my organs but Fellas. it made no difference. i feel like my soul completely exited my body that night.

weed takes a while to hit me, it seems to like to wait until i have finished smoking and have removed myself from the shed i smoke in and start walking back into the house. i felt a little dizzy near the end of the smoking session but it all hit at once as soon as i got in the house and tried to eat some ice cream. it felt like was a spectator watching through my own eyes and i was getting claustrophobia from my own vision. my fov had contracted and my eyes had become circular fisheye lenses. the world felt so small and cramped and all i could do to communicate this was say “my body is living in a circle” over and over. honest to god it looked like this with the black around it and everything.

every second felt like minutes and every minute felt like an hour; i smoked around 10pm but after what was probably 20 minutes tops i was getting that kind of feeling that you get when you pull an all nighter and you suddenly realize it’s 6am and i felt like i was going to see the sun rising at any second. when i started to get overwhelmed i went and laid down in bed, but after 3 minutes i felt like it had been an hour and i got back up and went back to the kitchen to try and eat some more ice cream. i actually didn’t get the munchies at all, i was too overwhelmed by the bodily sensations that i didn’t want to try and eat, but i figured that it would be a good distraction to keep me grounded

i felt both restless and like i didnt want to move at all at the same time. i assume this is bc i smoked hybrid, the indica couchlock and sativa energy were playing tug of war with each other and my body was the hapless rope between them. my entire body felt numb (but most notably my hands) and it took so much effort just to get myself moving - but once i did i didnt want to stop. when i spoke it felt like the corners of my lips had been shot full of novocaine so it took a lot of effort just to speak clearly and i tried to pucker my lips to kiss my boyfriend but they were so numb i just ended up mashing my lips together and probably looked like a blobfish lol

my brain and entire length of all my veins had this smoldering/burning sensation that was so uncomfortable, so i ended up sitting down in a chair and slapping my leg with one of my hands to distract from the burning while otherwise staying completely still. as i was doing this, my boyfriend came up to me and started whistling in a way that sounded like the wind howling in a blizzard. it was very soothing. i wanted to doze off.

eventually i just set up my ipad and keyboard and got the ball rolling with typing out my thoughts so that i would be both physically in motion and have my mind distracted. im actually quite proud of myself bc it was my first time greening out and i was really far gone but i still managed to keep myself grounded almost the entire time, kept telling myself “you’re not dying you’re just really high” and i was able to recognize that it hadn’t actually been hours and actually did the math to figure about how long it had actually been since xyz. i dont remember how or the exact context but at one point me and my bf made the EXACT same spongebob joke at the same time and it felt so good to laugh with him.

after a while the indica won the battle and i just fell asleep! the next morning i woke up still disoriented like i was still high a little bit but just barely - like i was coming down from the shitty weed i was smoking before. it was gone by the afternoon. i tweeted in the morning about how i appreciate that you dont get a hangover with weed even if you get pass-out high, after all i suppose that isn’t quite true. but compared with the hangover you get from alcohol, i don’t think there is any competition between being a little disoriented the day after versus puking your guts out with a migraine.

my boyfriend smoked some too and despite being a weed virgin he only got a little silly. i dont know how this man didnt get fucked like i did. i tweeted while very high; “my boyfriend who is a weed virgin big time smoked the same shit i did and he's FINE and im not even alive anymore how does this work? is it because he eats green vegetables and i sustain myself on pure lard and garbage filth?” i was worried about him the entire time but he kept saying “i just feel like im in a good mood, my body is fine” so i’m glad he didn’t get super high but i’m just confused as to how!

all in all it was an interesting experience and now i dont have to wonder about how it feels to get TOO high, but next time i know not to smoke nearly as much as i did. in addition to the wedding cake ryo also sold me a few grams of a sativa (durban poison) and i think i will try that next time to see what it does for me in the context of drawing.

i leave you with my wisdom: alcohol is bullshit, smoke weed instead

#yultsia.txt #drugs -

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lohst-in-time · 7 years

Text

exit82 be more chill - a written bootleg

ACT ONE

first of all i’d like to say that the cheering was not nearly as excessive as tumblr led me to believe it wasn’t that bad and i could hear all the lines so!!! comfort to y’all

*spooky theramin hell dream commence*

JERE HAD THE VOICE OF A GOD, A VERY NERDY SMALL GINGER GOD

okay but the dad though we have to admire his skill to put on his pants so quickly to go and be a bus driver

the whole time brooke chloe and jenna are having their conversation jere is just awkwardly trying to discreetly slide his hand to his locker and honestly me

also brooke just like skips everywhere it’s adorable

everyone was just glancing around at each other while rich wrote boyf on the backpack like 👀👀👀👀👀

this jake definitely did a totally different thing for his jake than jake boyd but i LOVED it and he was really great!!!

the set for this was so versatile and stuff like they turned around the lockers and BAM there’s the play signup sheet it was cool as hell

jeremy does this cute cut-off gesture on “end scene” and it’s A+

C H R I S T I N E

oh my god where do i start with christine her overalls were great, her cat stockings were great, her voice was AMAZING like honestly y’all she was a blessing

SO LIKE i was sitting right by this exit door and turns out it’s where a L O T of people enter from so michael walked in all casually with his slushy right in front of me and i was n o t p r e p a r e d

michael was acting so high during his part it was great

MICHAEL MAKES KISSY FACES AT JERE FOR THE BOYF RIENDS PART AND I MEAN IT WAS PLAYED FOR LAUGHS BUT STILL

also when jere says his whole “i hate this school” thing michael just kinda smiles and shrugs so that was NICE

i can confirm that christine signing up for the play in this production is just as extra as it was in the original production

chloe’s “i like gay people” was like really loud it was great

can yall believe im still only in the first song

also the ensemble peeps were A++ i loved them

for the scene before play rehearsal there’s a whiteboard with drama club written on it in cute lettering and it’s great

CHRISTINE IS GOD

the whole song jeremy is just watching christine with a goofy grin like heck yeah i love this human and it’s adorable i loved it so much!!

christine’s NOISES!!!!!! A++++++

at the end with the “we’re starting” christine just kept pausing at staring at the whiteboard expectantly until she turns to jere and is like “soooooon” and it was both pure and hilarious

MR REYES HAD LIKE A MULLET/PONYTAIL COMBINATION WIG THING AND IT WAS AMAZING

when mr reyes says the thing about frisbee golf this ensemble guy just goes like “yeah!!” it was great

christine looked so genuinely distraught over midsummer nightmare with zombies

also when mr reyes announces it he flips the whiteboard to reveal midsummer nightmare with zombies written in like this beautiful calligraphy it was blessed

he’s so aggressive with “THE MAN IS DEAD LET IT GO” oh my god

so in this version jake is way more just obviously hitting on christine rather than genuinely saying all the stuff about romeo and juliet and i don’t know how i feel about it but he delivered it really well so !!!!!!

the audience audibly sadly awwed when christine didn’t notice jeremy speaking

RICHARD FUCKIN GORANSKI OH MY GODNESS

the lisp is alive and well by the way

fRESHMAN YEEAR

basically the squip song was very extra i loved it

everyone was so excited at the “its from japan”

RICH JUST WIPES HIS PISS HANDS ON JEREMYS FACE AND SHIRT WHAT THE FUCK RICHARD

DODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODO

michael just deadass lights a blunt during two player game it’s hilarious

the pacman tattoo is confirmed to be on michael’s right arm i took note

MICHAEL DABBED TWICE

on the line “i wanna move on” jeremy just sorta whinily shakes michael’s arm it’s great

during the favorite person part michael just lowkey rests his head on jere’s shoulder and is promptly playfully shoved so that he falls facefirst into the two bean bags and he just sorta lays there for a bit it’s amazing

for the final chorus part thing they both just do these ridiculous karate moves and shit in the front while video game characters take off the set it’s so extra and blessed i loved it

tHERES TWO SALESPEOPLE

instead of the sideburns comment jeremy just awkwardly says “so, my chemical romance right” it was the best

when jeremy opens the shoebox michael in the background just lowkey moves his phone up in the air and takes a picture then looks really satisfied and pleased with it

press f to pay respects to jeremy’s bar mitzvah money

the squip looks just like this cool villainy dude at first but over the course of the show he slowly gets more and more squippy and villainy looking it’s so FUCKIN COOL

also when the squip first shows up little drop down things on the ceiling of the squip wire shit shows up and there’s also more big ones that show up in upgrade it’s just a cool lil thing that i liked

the squip squat-sits a lot. just a psa

AT THE “SHE WAS CHEATING ON ME” PART JEREMY STRAIGHT UP FLIPS THESE CLOTHES IN THE AIR AND FLAILS AROUND ON THE GROUND WHAT THE FUCK JEREMIAH

do you wanna ride was both uncomfortable and hilarious at the same time it was p amazing

there were these short pauses in between each “in” in pinkberry at the end it was super funny

at the end of be more chill part two when everyone sets jeremy down on the bed the squip says like “be careful with him he’s delicate”

jere: *aggressively tapping his head* hellooo are you on? mr heere: son are you talking to yourself again jere: i...guess i am mr heere: okay

from now on jeremy wears his eminem shirt AND this black coat vest thing it actually looks pretty good

at play rehearsal everyone does southern accents during their lines it’s amazing

“cough.”

JEREMY AND CHRISTINE SLOW DANCE DURING GUY I’D KINDA BE INTO THIS IS NOT A DRILL

“im sorry i don’t know why im crying” BIG MOOD JEREMIAH

“noooooooo....ot exactly”

jere is forced to make out with brooke and he clearly looks very uncomfortable and i felt so bad jvnghfkd

“that...that’s illegal” “yeah, it’s totally illegal!” SHFGJSCKISFTDYIDV

everyone highkey gasped/sadly awwed when jere said optic nerve blocking on

ACT TWO

brooke’s sexy dog costume jvndhdksj

RICH DEADASS HAS A FUCKIN BAGUETTE MACHETE I DIED

I AM IM READY FOR YOUR HALLOWEEN PARTY

“i do not understand the request” YES YOU FUCKIN DO SHUT UP TIC TAC MAN

*bathtub prop is brought onstage* FUCK IM NOT EMOTIONALLY READY-

NOT ONLY DOES JEREMY CALL HIM A LOSER BUT HE SHOVES HIM INTO THE BATHTUB TOO OH MY GOD NO

the audience reaction was INSANE people were ooing and awwing and gasping all around me and it was surreal as fuck

THIS BOY MIKEY WAS L I T E R A L L Y CHOKING BACK THE TEARS HE SOUNDED SO UPSET I CANT DESCRIBE IT ACCURATELY BUT HE SOUNDED LIKE HE WAS ACTUALLY SOBBING IT HURT ME

by the way this dude has the voice of an angel. of a god. a god angel. an angel god.

christine and jeremy’s weird noise exchange was the cutest damn thing ever

everyone in the audience sounded so sad when christine said no to going out with jeremy but i mean WE WERE SAD EVEN THOUGH MOST OF US KNEW IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN

SMARTPHONE HOUR WAS HYPE AS SHIT OKAY ALSO THE DRAG REPRESENTATION WAS LIVING

they all start out in bathrobes and stuff (LIKE I ALWAYS PICTURED IT TOO I WAS INTERNALLY SCREAMING!!!) then they take them off to reveal these like shiny elastic outfits like in a zumba class or something it was amazing

BROOKE DROPPING HER PHONE THEN SCREECHING AND DIVING AFTER IT IS M Y NEW AESTHETIC

okay but when the squip walks out for the scene before pitiful children he looks like a straight up evil electronic BADASS he got Cloaks For Days (also his makeup was On Point the whole show so just sayin)

everyone in the audience made sad noises when jenna said her line about knowing everyone’s business but honestly i felt a Sad at that part

JENNA NAILED THOSE HIGH NOTES also she just deadass pulled the Mountain Dew out of her coat jvnghfk

LIGHT UP SHOES DURING PITIFUL CHILDREN THIS IS NOT A DRILL EVERYONE

THE PANTS SONG WAS AMAZING also michael was super defensive when mr heere asked if he loved jeremy like he super quickly was like “NO” i just thought it was intriguing

JERES COSTUME ON MR REYES WAS SO SMALL HIS SHIRT WAS LITERALLY A CROP TOP

during the rich flashback the play background curtain thing comes down a bit to show the flashback and then comes back up it was cool

“MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCE” “AAAAAAAAAAAAA”

THE KUNG FU FIGHT THING also michael still keeps jeremy in this body hug thing to keep him restrained long after he needs to be just something i noticed

during the “confession” part christine and jeremy slow dance again BUT i paid attention to michael in the background and he looked DISTRAUGHT i deadass actually saw him wipe a tear and start walking away (before coming back when jere gives her the mountain dew red) and HOLY SHIT YALL I WAS HURT

michael is just left in this pile of bodies and he literally just shouts “OH FUCK” and honestly SAME

R I C H A R D oh my god first of all this whole scene he is like just smiling his ass off in this full body cast and the lisp was super alive and everyone lost their SHIT at the totally bi part it was so great and when michael comes in he’s like so excitedly ranting about what happened that he fuckin shakes jere’s hospital bed it was great ALSO IM ALMOST POSITIVE THAT RICH WAS WEARING AN LGBT SHIRT FOR VOICES IN MY HEAD CAN SOMEONE HELP CONFIRM THIS

i have never heard so many people gasp because of a man walking onstage wearing pants

BROOKE AND CHLOE SWITCHED SHIRTS THIS IS NOT A DRILL

i was really glad that everyone including michael were so happy for jeremy and christine it was pure

im emotionally worn out that was a ride thanks for listening hope yall will be able to visually see this beauty someday

#be more chill #bmc #bmc musical #exit 82 #exit 82 theatre

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reprisedpiece · 7 years

Text

Closing Credits

Pairing: Mike Faist x FilmMajor!Reader

Warning: curse words (bc when do i not use swear words in fics), character gets anxious

Request: “FilmMajor! Reader with mike Faist would END my existence Y e S”

Word Count: 1912

Note: i said like three days ago that the next mike faist request i get, ill write it in newsies-mike era bc i just miss that :-) although im not really proud of this? idrk i might delete this or at least edit it again. feel free to message me and tell me what ya think !

MASTERLIST

Mike let out a hiss as he stretched his arm, quickly reaching up with his other arm in order to soothe the sore bicep. He cursed at himself for not doing the extra warm routine before doing the cartwheels and flips during rehearsals.

Right now, he was just looking forward for two things. Those two being a warm shower and you. He preferred having both at the same time but he knew you were in the middle of editing so he buried the idea at the back of his head, just until both of your schedules lighten up.

He shared a small apartment with you, a film major attending in NYU. The two of you have spent three years in your little space, more than glad that the two of you had the chance to live in a district renowned for its support with arts and theatre.

Mike began walking back to your apartment, already thinking of which movie the two of you were bound to watch.

Being with a film major like yourself, most of your afternoons and evenings consisted of watching movies while eating healthy snacks for the sake of Mike’s current job. These moments usually end up with you rambling about the cinematography of the film, its interpretation and impact to the audience, and even picking out some aspects that you would have changed.

Mike finally reached the door of your place, unlocking the door before removing his shoes and leaving his bag by the door. He plops down on the couch where he has left you this morning.

You still haven’t changed your clothes. You were still wearing his hoodie and a pair of shorts. Your glasses were slightly crooked, probably from rubbing your eyes too much he guessed. The pieces of your hair which fell from your bun framed your delicate face. Your eyes were still trained on your computer screen, the expression on your face was something he couldn’t read.

He scoots closer to you, placing his palm on the back of your neck. He slowly rubbed your shoulders, feeling how stiff there are.

“You’ve been sitting here for so long, babe.” He muttered as he started to knead the muscle. He felt you jolt from slight discomfort before melting back into his palm.

Your haven’t faced him once since he has arrived and Mike grew a bit weary. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He whispered, his eyes scanning your face as he searched for any hints of discomfort.

“We’re done.” You whispered back, not turning your head even one. He felt his chest tighten, a shock running down his spine. He was hoping he heard wrong.

“What?” Mike panics. His mind instantly ran through all his actions for the past few days, mentally listing down anything that could possibly caused you to want to end things with him.

“We’re done.” You repeated. You couldn’t even process your own words. All you knew was that you were done. His hands immediately grasped yours, placing kisses onto your knuckles as he cradled them to his chest

“Y/N, what? I though we were happy. Why do you want to-”

“Our film is finally finished.” You whispered with a shaky breath as your were flooded with emotions, squeezing his hand. Mike suddenly stops and drops your hands to his lap, blinking twice before realizing that you were talking about your class’s final project.

He let out a sigh, leaning back into the couch. “You scared the shit out of me, Y/N!” He exclaimed, rubbing his eyes to remove the tears that were about to form. The sudden rise in volume made you turn your head to face him.

“Why?” You chuckled, still confused. “Why did that scare you? All I said was-” Your face fell as you realized how polysemantic your statement was.

You immediately jumped on top of him, wrapping your arms around him. “No, no, no! I didn’t mean it like that! I was talking about the project we’ve been-”

Mike wrapped his own arms around yours. “Don’t worry about it, babe. I should have known you were talking about your film.” He said while chuckling. You felt the vibrations of his laughter against your own.

You only tightened your arms around him. “I’m really sorry for scaring you.” You apologized again. Mike kissed your forehead sweetly before peeling you away from his body so he can face you.

“Stop apologizing,” He started, moving one of his hands from your waist to tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear and fixing your glasses. “And show me your class’s new film!” He continued, smiling at you from ear to ear.

He swore he could fall in love with you again and again. Your eyes twinkled with passion when he brought up the film. “Let’s watch it later! Once it’s finished rendering.” You leaned back forward, giving him a kiss on the lips before the scent of sweat hit your nose.

Your nose crinkled at the smell as you pulled back. “And after you shower. You stink.” You say, which earned you a poke on your side.

“I was about to before you gave me that scare!” He laughed, lifting you from his lap and placed you gently on the couch. He hovered you for a couple of second, giving you a chaste kiss. You could still taste the orange juice that he drank this morning from his lips.

He pulled away, not after pecking your lips one last time, to go to the bathroom. You slapped his butt as he walked away. “Don’t take too long!” You yelled out to him, giggling as he wiggled his butt out to you when he walked away.

After half an hour, the film finished exporting and you already have it opened in your laptop. Mike sat beside you with an arm around your shoulders. He reached for the spacebar so he could play it but you caught his wrist.

He looked at you, confused. “What’s wrong?”

“Just know that this isn’t the final final editing.”

“Babe, it’s going to be fine-”

“Like I know I’m the one in charge of the final editing but yeah. If you see any mistakes or a glitch, just tell me and I’ll-”

He quickly placed his finger against your lips. “Nonetheless, your film will be amazing.” He reassured you. You leaned back into his chest, finger hovering over the space button.

“You don’t even know what it’s about.” You muttered under your breath.

“Sure, I do!” You raised your eyebrow at him. He just nodded. “I’m not kidding. I know it’s about an orphan schizophrenic women who fell in love with a writer and she finds out that her parents were killed by him,”

You looked up at him with awe. “Wow, I didn’t realize-”

“Shut up, I’m not done.” He interrupted you. A smile crept up your face as you nodded for him to continue telling the plot of the film.

“Then it turns out her parents were alive! Her, being an orphan and falling love with a writer, it was all part of the illusion.” He finished.

“Whoa.”

“See? I listen to you when you rambled about it.” He said, proud of himself to be able to memorize the plot.

“Alright, hot shot. What happens in the ending?” You asked him cockily, knowing that he wouldn’t know the answer.

He just stared at you with a pout. “Y/N, you know you never told me that.”

“I know, I just wanted to annoy the shit out of you.” You stated rather boldly, turning to face the screen.

“But good news is, you get to find out now!” You pressed the spacebar, the all too familiar opening credits appearing.

You nestled further into Mike, resting your head on his shoulder as he let his head fall on top of yours. He held your hand, rubbing circles at the back of it.

He gave you a kiss on the cheek. “This will be amazing, I know it.”

The closing credits of the film rolled down and your eyes were welling up with tears. You were extremely proud of what you’ve done and how the entire film turned out to be.

The two of you sat in silence. You were a bit nervous to look up at Mike. While you are indeed proud of your work, you weren’t in the mood for a negative reaction right now. And that was what you were scared off.

It’s been a couple of minutes now and he was still silent.

You let out a slightly disappointed sigh. “Mike, you can tell me if you didn’t like-” You immediately stopped talking when you felt a small drop of water hit your cheek. You reached up to touch your eyes but they were relatively dry with no tears falling from them. Your gaze shifted upwards, only to land on Mike’s tear-stained face. He was silent yet the tears didn’t stop. His hand was holding yours tightly, as you were going to disappear in any moment.

You quickly shifted your weight to the back of your knees, turning around so that your entire body was facing Mike. You gently cradled his face in your hands, wiping away the tears.

“Mike?” You whispered, your eyes trying to catch his gaze.

When they did, he pushed your hands away from his face before hugging you tightly to his chest.

“I don’t want to lose you.” He whispered, his voice breaking. He buried his face into your neck. You felt warm tears slipping from his eyes to to your shirt. You held him close to you tightly, whispering and reminding him that he won’t lose you.

You pulled away slightly so you can make him face you.

“Where is this all coming from?” You ask worriedly, rubbing soothing circles against his cheek.

Mike sniffed, wiping the tears away from his face. He took in a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry. The ending of the film was too much.” He said as he ran his hands up and down your sides.

“And add that with the melancholic music score and the cinematography,” He chuckled at how silly he must look right now. “I’m just really sorry, it hit me hard.”

You were out of words. Your heart fell when you realized how much the film affected him. You cradled his jaw with your left hand, leaning forward to give him a kiss.

He quickly reciprocated, positioning his hands on your waist as your lips moved against each other.

“I love you.” You mumbled against his lips. You felt him smile in the kiss as he mumbled an ‘I love you’ back.

You pulled away slowly, giving him one last peck on the forehead. “You’re okay?”

He nodded, a lazy grin plastered on his face. “More than okay.”

He pulled you down towards his body, until your face was nuzzled against his chest. “That film was beautiful.” He said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

“It really was, it had me in tears.” He chuckled.

“Thank you.” Your cheeks misted with a rose tint. “I’m glad you liked it.”

“You’re going to kill it out there. You’ll be breaking hearts, spreading smiles, and just flooding people with emotions.” He spoke softly, tilting your head so you were facing him.

He was grinning down at you, eyes filled with nothing but pure adoration for you. He looked at you with pride.

“You’re an artist, Y/N. You’re the one to watch.”

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rose-by-any-name · 6 years

Audio

Okay, so first up in my series of music recs is The Maine. I’m just gonna start with their album American Candy because I haven’t gotten a chance to listen to all their albums yet and this is the first one I listened to and it is my ABSOLUTE FAVE RIGHT NOW. My friend recommended a song on it and honestly considering baking her cookies or something because IM SO GLAD SHE SHARED HER LOVE OF THIS BAND.

So, I could probably just write the name of this album and tell you why I love it and that would be enough for me to never forget it but I’m gonna go song by song because THIS ALBUM DESERVES IT. (also, I’m listening to it as I write this and having a LOT of feelings)

Miles Away- Pretty awesome song right here, okay. It’s about your mind still being in that perfect place even when you’re not there anymore. A+ way to start an album.

Same Suit, Different Tie- SUPER RELATABLE! This one is such a confidence booster. It seriously struck something in me when I first listened to it because my family has come into some Rough Times and like I can’t get all the fancy things that my old middle-class life allowed me to. This song is a good reminder to me that that doesn’t freaking matter. I don’t need all those things to be cool or feel confident about myself. I mean, yeah the Lily Pulitzer dresses of my past definitely made me feel pretty but I’ll look just as hot without them. So fave lyrics are: “Dear you don't need high-priced designs To feel dressed up, to feel dress up To the nines”

My Hair- This song is hilarious to me because it’s the exact opposite of how I’m feeling but also it’s exactly the same??? In the song they sing about growing your hair out and I’m really feeling in the mood to cut mine all off. But it really is the same thing because he’s saying do it because you’re only young for a little while and you gotta do what you want to! Basically, be who you are.

English Girls- Don’t really have much to say about this one. It’s a chill song I guess, not my #1. I think it’s kinda about shooting your shot with someone, idk really but the tune is nice and I still vibe with it.

24 Floors- This song has me straight up bawling every time I listen. Like, the first time I heard it, I just had to stop everything and close my eyes and just LISTEN and FEEL it. It’s about being suicidal, so maybe don’t listen if you get triggered but it describes it SO PERFECTLY. It’s about that moment where you don’t want to be alive but you know there’s someone who would do anything to talk you down. I’m not in that place anymore but I remember that feeling and this song would have been my lifeline if I’d had it back then. My fave lyrics are the chorus because damn I wish I had actually heard these words when I was going through this: “You don't wanna die tonight Take one more breath to clear your mind Every moment's relevant Bittersweet and delicate Tomorrow may not come again”

Diet Soda Society- This song is for when you’re having an existential crisis. I don’t know how else to describe it but it's beautiful and amazing. Even though the album came out in 2015, this song is a total 2018 mood.

Am I Pretty?- Ok I have LOTS of opinions on this song and honestly, I could go line by line and analyze every sing word and it still would not be enough to satisfy me. It’s just that good alright!! (It’s kinda pointing out the ridiculousness of questions like “Am I Pretty?” because OF COURSE YOU ARE GODDAMIT) My favorite lyrics are in the bridge: “There's beauty and grace in the flaws of your face All candor and style in the crook of your smile”

(Un)Lost- Okay so this is the song my friend recommended (well really she tweeted that she wanted all the lyrics tattooed on her body and honestly I wouldn’t be opposed to that either) and it’s the first song from The Maine that I listened to and made me fall in love with them. This is another song where you just have to lay down, close your eyes, and just listen and feel it. As someone preparing to go to college next year and as someone still coming out as Bi, this song is so accurate for how I feel right now. Like, I know who I am but I don’t really know where I’m going in life. I don’t need someone to come and save me but I could use a little direction?? I’m so glad my friend shared it because it’s really kinda comforting to know that I’m not the only one feeling this. We might not feel it the same way or for the same reasons but like just knowing that it’s a fairly common feeling is so nice. My favorite part is this section from the bridge: “Control what you can Confront what you can't And always remember how lucky you are to have yourself”

American Candy- I can’t really relate to this one except yes I definitely can. So that’s all I’m gonna say about it. Listen to it if you want...

Another Night on Mars- So apparently this song is about their fans but like its also super applicable to my life and it’s got such a different vibe than I’m used to and I love it. It just makes me think about how much I love my friends and how I’m SO LUCKY to be surrounded by such amazing people who love and care about me. It’s about how your friends make you feel normal and at home. The perfect way to end the album tbh.

So the takeaway here is that this album is probably the best thing I’ve ever listened to and I AM OBSESSED. GO LISTEN TO IT! RIGHT. NOW.

( I realized some of these descriptions/thoughts got kinda long so I just bolded some of the really important parts)

#The Maine #music #My music recs and reasons why you need to listen to them IMMEDIATELY #it took me a good 2 hours to write this because FEELINGS ok #so enjoy it #and listen to the album #its amazing

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