#the just like backseat background constant dysphoria over not having any e in my body is like. sickening it makes me feel awful

[l-cereta]

Like everything is pissing me off rn

#it’s like my body recognized the unspeakable amt of random sadness didn’t fix anything so now she has to make me hate literally everything #the just like backseat background constant dysphoria over not having any e in my body is like. sickening it makes me feel awful #and I’m starting to really properly run up against the cost of hrt for the first time which is SUPER awesome too #and ofc there’s stress over this STUPID!! FUCKING!! ACTING PROJECT!!!!! #and that makes me want to kill someone #but there’s also stress about like everything else. and world situation isn’t doing anything #and also everyone around me makes me angry #and also everyone makes me angry. #like if anyone’s reading this genuinely go fuck urself u have no ability to help me and you’re really!! really stupid for thinking you have #ANY #idea what it feels like for me rn. and let’s be real you don’t have a solution either so what’s the point #i really really reeeaaaaalllyyyyyyyyy just want to rip someone’s throat out if I can be real #god i need to get any kind of sleep at all #EVERYTHING SUCKS. GENUINELY EVERYTHING SUCKS. ITS BAD!!!! ITS BAD!!!!!!!!! #i like actually want to cry #& every time i start thinking abt it contextually like actually I don’t have it so bad and all of these feelings are transient or whatever #i want to rip someone’s throat out even more #& ofc that anger also turns inwards but for the most part I can just call that as stupid and move on #but like: why the fuck am i treating a Tumblr blog where none of the readers actually care abt me as if it were a fucking confessional #i don’t even want to think abt sleeping bc i know thatll suck too I’ll have some horrible stress dream #god I’m gonna start crying again actually yall i fucking hate emotions can I be real