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ko-fanatic · 6 years

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A Young Ootori’s Notebook (part three)

Rating: Explicit / Mature (for series as a whole)

Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club

Relationships: Kyoya & hosts, mentioned unrequited KyoTama, Yoshio Ootori x Yuzuru Suoh

Trigger Warnings: Drug abuse/addiction, depression, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, self harm

Summary: It's so warm, so happy, but he just feels hollow. He's looking in on someone else's Christmas, or it feels like it. Nothing's real, anyway...

No knowledge of A Young Doctor’s Notebook needed.

BEFORE WE BEGIN, BECAUSE I KNOW I'LL GET A MILLION COMMENTS IF I DON'T CLARIFY: My headcanon for Kyoya's grandmother is that she's both English and Christian. Their grandfather was pretty much an atheist, so they tend to go with more Christian traditions and holidays. Kyoya was even a choir boy for a little while.

Other parts of this series: Part one | Part two

It wasn’t before long that the clink of glass on table grated against Kyoya’s pounding head, Haruhi never did learn Tamaki’s “pinkie trick” properly, but he was thankful that she was more punctual than her husband. His throat was dry, he was nauseous, and he had to steady himself as he sat up, the world tilting dangerously sideways. Instead, he felt Kaoru’s gentle hands on his shoulders, guiding him into a more stable position, before leaving his bony frame to brush his too shaggy, unprofessional hair away from his sweaty forehead.

The passage of time was not always something he was acutely aware of, but that was the norm for someone who indulged in his… vices. Everything was questioned; was it even real? Time was real, despite some saying that it truly wasn’t, because it all just seemed to press down on him in that one moment. Clear and hazy seconds, minutes, years just seemed to hit him all at once and, for the first time in a while, Kyoya felt old.

He was only in his, admittedly late, forties, and he felt like some sort of frail octogenarian; it was a little humiliating, and his cultivated vanity was appalled. His hair was starting to grey also, from the stress and strain he put himself and his body through. His knees were aching, despite him sitting, and he could see how prominent the bones in his hands were. He was a wreck, really. A pretty boy turned into a mess of an addict.

Still, it was actually rather amusing, in some sickeningly morbid way. He was obviously unwell, displaying all the red flags that the media liked to pounce on, draining it of any potential scandal that it could hold. Before the truth came out, before he got too desperate to hide his issue from the public, the worst insinuation was that he was ill.

No drug rumours, nothing about anorexia, or anything of that like, because that wasn’t what an Ootori was. An Ootori was strong and composed, they certainly didn’t dabble in things like prescription pills, morphine, and even heroin. Diamorphine, that’s what heroin is in medical terms, used for moderate to severe pain. After all, diamorphine has the same effect as morphine at half the dose, and he can only justify and fudge so many numbers.

Kaoru’s hands helped steady his shaking ones as he brought the glass to his lips. He gave the other man something of a half-hearted glare, despite the fact that he almost spilt it over himself. He just took deep breaths between sips, trying to get his stomach to settle, pretending that this wasn’t as pathetic as it was.

“While we get that you felt miserable, why all this?” Hikaru huffed, though there was genuine concern and query in his eyes, from what Kyoya could see, “Why forge prescriptions? Why morphine? Why fucking heroin?”

“It’s not like I set out to become a drug addict,” He drawled, but it only seemed to make him sound even more tired, “It didn’t start like that. At first, I needed what I was prescribing myself…”

He was miserable.

That wasn’t particularly a new state of being – he’d been on the receiving end of far too many well-meaning hair ruffles and pitying coos to be blind to the so-called “tragedies” in his life. Still, this particular brand of miserable was nearly unbearable. It reminded him far too much of middle school, his chest tightening at the realisation that it might be happening again, when that wasn’t an option.

He wasn’t sleeping without over the counter pills, he wasn’t hungry and couldn’t make himself eat, he didn’t want to see anyone. He’d just holed himself up in the nice apartment his father had arranged for him, close to his university; like he somehow managed to combine coddling and independence. Thinking on it now, it was probably his stepfather’s involvement also, but still. He was rather grateful for not having as many responsibilities as “commoner” students, having spent most of the day drifting in and out of sleep.

He knew it was lazy, not to mention unbefitting and more than a little antisocial, but he didn’t really have the energy to care anymore. That was the real issue. Not caring, then caring too much about said apathy, and it was something so confusing that he often just stared at the wall, head feeling as if it were floating several feet above his shoulders.

Still, his family didn't even notice when he returned for the holidays. Wasn't that a slap in the face? Yuuichi and Akito were grinning while running around the mansion with Fuyumi's little boy and girl, trying to discover the hidden presents. His father and step-father were in the kitchen, attempting to bake gingerbread without assistance, clad in hideous Christmas jumpers. He'd already heard the fire alarm go off several times, so he supposed that it wasn't particularly successful.

It was... odd. Like he was watching everything unfold behind the glass of a television screen. No one could see him, he was just on the outside looking in. The mansion was warm, there were so many people, but he still felt so... cold. Lonely. Isolated. He sighed, finally unlocking the door of his old bedroom and immediately catching a whiff of burnt sugar. Well, that was going to hang around for days.

It was all too little and too much at the same time. The terrible twosome - and the children - seemed to have moved on to somewhere else, leaving the hallway feeling almost abandoned in the cool December light that peeked in through the windows. He could hear muffled commotion, but nothing clear or vivid.

“Yuzuru, get off!”

“Come on, Yoshi; it's mistletoe!”

“Oh... You incorrigible old sod.”

It was so... happy. Surely his grandmother and grandfather were around somewhere, probably in the courtyard if those screeching noises really were tires on asphalt. His aunt would probably stay in her cave on Mount Crumpit until it was time for mass, whereas his uncle promised that he'd say hello before hitting the bars this year.

“WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT CORRUPTING MY KIDS?!”

“It’s the witch, run! Protect the presents!”

“WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME, YUUICHI?!”

Kyoya swallowed around the heart in his throat, blinked back the sting in his eyes. It was all fine, there was nothing to be upset about. It was just one of those times where apathy rubbed away, revealing something rawer. He was tired, a little frustrated with himself, and he knew that if he were to go downstairs, this feeling off hollowness would at least be warmer for a little while.

Rather than go downstairs, Kyoya had a different idea in mind. After all, he'd managed to diagnose himself, and he didn't want to admit that what he had wasn't even physical. There was no medical reason for his low energy and even lower mood, merely something psychological. Basically psychosomatic, really.

No, rather than go down and sit by the fire, letting Yuzuru ruffle his hair and his father watch him playing puzzle games on his phone, he snuck across to Yuuichi's office. His brother had taken it over since their father retired, very much intent on sticking around, much to their fathers' hidden dismay, and there was one key difference to how Yuuichi and their father arranged the space; Yuuichi was predictable.

He closed the door softly behind him, though took normal steps - not tiptoeing like he once had. It was less conspicuous to act as if you were doing nothing wrong, after all. He merely went over to the desk, opening the top draw, and there - under a file - was his brother's prescription pad. There were even pens in a nice little stationary cup on top of the desk, waiting to be used.

He put the pad on the table, putting the pen in his left hand rather than his right to imitate that God-awful scrawl his brother wrote in, and filled in those important little details. Sertraline, 50mg, to be taken once daily. Easy enough.

He tore it off neatly, like his brother tended to do, and pocketed the slip. He'd take it to the pharmacy soon. Not the one in the hospital, of course; that would just be stupid. It would be too easy to get caught out, after all.

For now, he just went back to his room to put the slip in his bag, feeling at least slightly more productive than he had in weeks, finally with a plan.

When he finally settled down in front of the fire, the little ones swarming him with their cute cries of uncle Kyo, it still felt a little empty. He just played around a little, got them to settle down, and laid down next to the little rascals, cuddling up to them as they snuggled into the ugly – but fluffy – rug that Yuzuru had insisted on.

It would do for now.

The Christmas season has come once more, it seems, and Kiyomi and Daisuke are growing like weeds. It seems like only yesterday that I was their age, and my brothers were running around with me to find the hidden presents. Time flies, I suppose; whether you’re enjoying it or not.

It’s the fragility of the line between past, present and future, I suppose. After all, when is it drawn? The past ceases to exist and then you find yourself looking back over it, going by in a rose-tinted blur. It always seems sunny in hindsight, I find. It’s just a shame that I’m a miserable sod in the present, but I look back over memories I once found boring and feel warm nostalgia.

Perhaps, if I allow myself to dig into my own psychology for a moment – which is the purpose of these entries, I suppose – it’s probably due to my own set of complexes. I won’t allow myself to find joy in frivolous things in the present, so it’s a delayed reaction. Suppressed. It’s just another way I differ, it seems; usually, people repress the bad to protect their psyche from trauma, whereas I do the opposite.

Of course, I also suspect that the past looks so sunny because it holds some of my most innocent mentalities and cherished memories. I remember sparkling princess dresses and my rosy cheeked, albeit temporary, crush on Kuze – not that it didn’t end in heartbreak and the loss of some innocence, on both sides. I remember church choirs and being picked for my first solo performance, and how much praise I was given by my grandmother and even my aunt. I remember stargazing and lips pressing against my own, both of us laughing as if we were normal teenagers who had no worries, yet acting like we didn’t know each other that following Monday.

Of course, I also remember the host club. It’s still so strange to thing that it slipped into the past, almost like sand between my fingers. I feel so isolated. Tamaki and I still see each other, now stepbrothers, but he’s not here yet. He wants to spend time with Haruhi and Ranka, but he did promise that he’d be over soon.

I don’t want to be so dependant on the relationship we have, but Honey was never my favourite person, and my friendship with Mori was more silent companionship. We’ve drifted apart, somewhere along the way. Hikaru isn’t interested in talking, any texts we try to send back and forth tend to be succinct, and not in the pleasant way.

I haven’t spoken to Kaoru in months, I’m not sure why. Perhaps I should reflect on that more, rather than the past. After all, I still haven’t answered a single text or email he’s sent, feeling far too… afraid of rejection, I suppose. Perhaps that’s why Hikaru has nothing to do with me anymore…

“Oh, boo hoo.”

Kyoya huffed, turning to see the damned old man again, still looking less than put together. To add insult to injury, it also seemed he was going mad. Some ghostly spectre that looked to be a cheap knock-off of the ghost of Christmas future had obviously taken a liking to him, and the bastard’s hobby was nit-picking.

“You know why you don’t want to talk to Kaoru, you just wrote it,” The old man drawled, hauling himself up pathetically into a half-sitting position, “You’re a coward, and an idiotic one. The solutions to your problems are just so simple but fear always gets in the way. That’s what Kyoya Ootori does the best; run away.”

“Shut up!” He snapped, feeling far too drained to deal with the assault on his character at the moment, “I didn’t ask your opinion.”

“Self-reflection,” The man smirked, voice lilting almost serenely until he doubled over, dry-retching over the arm of the chair he’d sprawled over.

“Oh… Whatever,” He muttered, closing his notebook with an air of finality before climbing into bed, eyes straying to his bag. He’d take it to the pharmacy soon, and he’d be fine. He would.

#ouran high school host club #ohshc #yoshio x yuzuru #kyoya ootori #ootori kyoya #Yuzuru Suoh #Yoshio Ootori #Fuyumi Ootori #Akito Ootori #Yuuichi Ootori #tamaki suoh #Mitsukuni Haninozuka #takashi morinozuka #haruhi fujioka #ranka fujioka #kaoru hitachiin #hikaru hitachiin #my fanfiction #a young ootori's notebook series

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tardytothepardy · 3 years

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Fruits Basket - Vol.8

hey I remembered, how cool :D

So this particular book decided to gut punch me, I really appreciated that. Not with anything angsty or tragic or whatever, just with plain ol irl stuff that I've been dealing with for years now, mostly pertaining to the incredibly daunting, terrifying, anxiety-inducing question of, "Ok, so you're finishing up/finished with school, what now?" And, just like a handful of the characters faced with this question, I say, "Shit man I don't fucking know."

First though, an angry cow boy got angry and tore up a classroom. Yep, it's our local cow boy, Hatsuharu Sohma. Tohru and Co. were just going about their day, when they heard that Cow Boy(it's really stupid but I think I'm gonna go with it) lost his shit. Naturally, they go and investigate, and their reactions were mostly

Kyo: (fuck he wants to fight i'll fight him lessgobetch)

Yuki: (smh, just, smfh)

Tohru: (concern & confusion)

Momiji: ( :D )

Anyway, after a teacher comes in and dumps a bucket of water over Haru (and Kyo, who was fixing for a fight), he calms down and is no longer black. Hm. That sounds wrong. He's no longer,,, he's calmed down, that's all that I can say. They still don't know what set him off, but Yuki is interested in finding out. Turns out that Haru was dumped, and his confusion and hurt and anger had been bundling up in the days/week since, and bubbled over to him becoming Angry Cow Boy. So that's out of the way.

After that, a new character arrives on the scene: Ritchan, who is related to that other person a while back who just kinda kept losing their shit over little things. It's kinda draining just reading through Ritchan doing this, I can't imagine how it would be to deal with in person. Like, every little thing just sets Ritchan off, like Kyo asking where the milk went (Ritchan used it all for his cereal), and before you know it, Ritchan's on the roof and people have to talk him off, like, it's a lot. (I don't think that was the specific order but, it was something that like that)

Ritchan faces a lot of insecurities (which seems to be really common within the Sohma family) about how he isn't very powerful, and how he feels his zodiac animal (the monkey) isn't useful. He wishes that he could find his purpose in life, more rather that someone would just tell him (haha can't relate to that at all,, haaaa 😬), but Tohru says that, maybe no one has a purpose in life. Maybe there's nothing that anyone is "supposed to do", rather that life is more about discovering what you want to do and who you want to be. She and her mom have some really good insight.

Continuing with that general idea, and what I was mentioning earlier, the school term is ending soon, and the students have to turn in goals that they have for the future. Naturally, this is an incredibly stressful thing, and so everyone involved is some form of freaked out over it. Yuki is stressed about it, because he seems to have a bad relationship with like,, everyone in his family: his parents and his brother. There's some mention of his parents "selling" him, so that's probably why.

Kyo's stressed about it because he's the cat. He's a Cat Boy, and no one wants to be around a Cat Boy. Within the Sohma family, that is. I doubt anyone else would particularly care, but the family (cough cough, Akito, most likely, cough cough) seems to have a lot of power and the ability to dictate what exactly the members of the family can do, even into their adulthood. And since the family already seems to not like Kyo simply because he is Cat Boy, he sees his prospects are pretty dim.

Finally, Tohru feels anxious about her future because it's all just so much at once. She has no idea where to go after this. She promised her mom that she would get through high school, because her mom didn't/wasn't able to. After that though, idfk man how am I supposed to know?? She continues to get more upset, until Shigure pops outta fucking nowhere and basically says to take things one at time. Sure, there are many things down the road, but more often than not, it doesn't do much good to fret about all that stuff if you're still tangling up in what you currently have to do. Just keep working, keep chugging along, and when it gets to be too much, sit down, take a break, but just remember to keep steadily making your way down the path.

And that's the kinda shit that makes me think, "Hey! I'm reading this to relax, not be reminded of my own problems ;o; but also much thank anime man"

Towards the end, Tohru, Momiji, Kyo, Yuki, and Haru all go to a haunted house, and Tohru is fucking terrified the whole time and acts like an idiot (same lmao), and Haru crafts some weird story between two of the props, which helps calm Tohru down.

Tohru goes in the first place to fight her fears, but I wouldn't have gone in at all. I do not enjoy being scared in any way. I will not watch a scary movie or video to "save face", mright? I am a fantastic wimp and I'm ok with that. If you guys want to go and watch a scary movie or tell scary stories, that's great, but I'll be somewhere else, looking at memes or reading some stupid shit, or like,,, literally anything other than partaking in the scary stuff. I haven't watched a horror movie in years, but the last ones that I was stupid enough to force myself to watch still haunt me, I still am thoroughly freaked out by them. I mean, there was one anti-meth ad that I got when I was outrageously young, and that shit still sticks with me. Did I ever have any intent of doing meth? No. Not in the least, but hey, at least that ad made me scared of taking a shower for a solid month. (I still did shower but I had the shower curtain open the whole time. It was a huge mess.)

#anyway Tohru has more guts than I do #we all knew that though #so far the Sohma family screams of that John Mulaney thing of 'Now. we don't have time to unpack ALL of that'#bc hot damn like everyone has very deep issues #and I bet the majority of them stem from the bullshit that spews outta Akito's mouth #fuck akito essentially #that's the conclusion i come to every time #anyway #fruits basket #furuba #tohru honda #yuki sohma #kyo sohma #momiji sohma #shigure sohma #hatsuharu sohma #ritchan sohma #fruits basket volume 8

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survivormoheli · 6 years

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Episode #1 - “I had to unblock two people in my tribe” - Tara

The cast is revealed: https://survivormoheli.tumblr.com/tagged/reveal In addition, it is revealed that there are no idols in this game, instead a system of twists: https://survivormoheli.tumblr.com/post/171711080313/idol-system The buffs are also revealed: https://survivormoheli.tumblr.com/post/171739691688/premerge-buffs

Immunity: https://survivormoheli.tumblr.com/post/171711113378/tribal-immunity-1-duolingo During the immunity challenge, the Ouani tribe quickly dominates, with Raffy and Bryan each having extremely high scores very early on. Sima, having a native French speaker in Eric K, also finds quick success despite having a few players with very low scores. In addition, Raffy discover's Jay's method of assigning usernames, and tracks the scores of the other tribes to remain dominant.

Results: https://survivormoheli.tumblr.com/post/171745790728/duolingo-results After immunity, Bryan, having earned the highest score, got to choose a member of the losing tribe to recieve an extra vote. He chose Becca, and she decided to cast two votes against Phoenix to try to keep herself in the game. Matt, having the lowest score, seems to be an early target, but manages to twist the votes against BEcca by working with Phoenix and Richie. Back on Ouani, Tara, Raffy, JG, and Bryan bond and form an early alliance. At tribal council, Becca goes home in a 5-2 vote.

Tribal: https://survivormoheli.tumblr.com/post/171778863148/tribal-council-1-moya

Eric A

I am really nervous to start out this season. I did really poorly on my last season and I am scared I will do poorly a second time. I just have to play a more social game than I ever had before, and hope for a better result. But I know that as long as I try, I will be proud of myself.

tara

omg hi i'm tara and i'm rly excited to b playing with BRYAN!!!!!! i had to unblock two people in my tribe p exciting but i'm excited to see the cast reveal!!

HOLY HELLLL!!!! LETS GOOOOO! 3 Tribes of 6? OMG SHOOKETH TO THE CORE! I am in all caps but I am literally shaking. This is a chance for redemption with me and Tara. Then there is Rafael who I voted out in Kuang Si as well as Andreas, in actuality those two were the ones who tried to flip the vote the vote me on me during Kuang Si when I was almost tribe swap f*cked. Don't know the other two but that can change, this should be really interesting! BryanOMG FUCKING WOOH TO THE MAX! IM SO HAPPY TARA IS IN THIS GAME! I was so sad when i met her and she said she wasn’t gonna play another org. BUT HERE SHE IS IN ANOTHER ORG! We are gonna slay. And Oml Ratfy is here. It’s very scary. BUT ITS OK CUZ WE ARE FRIENDS! I’ve never met the other people on my tribe tho. IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS GAME! Tara is amazing. Lav her.

Eric A

5 minutes in and Akito forgot the series name. Ok Akito, ok.

Tim

Show me support I'm so anxious!

This is gonna be outdated in like a few months but. "My FBI Agent watching me play in another ORG

https://scavengertim2.tumblr.com/post/171711065049

Matt J

Survivor time! I am so excited to be playing, my tribe seems really cool and I’m definitely looking forward to getting to know them better.

So the first challenge was posted and we have to learn French. I’m definitely shaking in my boots a little because I couldn’t learn Spanish and am bad enough at English! My tribe mates have already started the challenge so I guess it’s time to step it up or go home.

Rafael

Immediately I see a lot of familiar faces. Bryan is refreshing as we tend to work well together. I would love to work with him. Tara is a blessing and an angel on Earth. She's so sweet and I would give arm and limb for her to work with me. Like that's someone I want to honestly work with the entire game. But her personality is liable to other people wanting the same. JG is someone who I've only known through him voting me out. But I've gotten over it. We can probably be a strong duo that no one would see coming. Andreas.... I don't know. He's not someone I had a real connection with and is definitely an outsider to me. Then there's Elliot. He's a newbie, so maybe easy to control? The thing about him is that he has not been online yet. He does live in the UK so he's probably sleeping, but I hope he will do the challenge in the morning.

After a lengthy call, my relationships are definitely tight with JG, Bryan, and Tara. Bryan and I still have a strong friendship going on. All four of us talked a lot through the night, and Tara even brought up the possibility of forming an alliance. It was in jest, but it seems like everyone was really digging the idea. It ended up being JG and I as the last members on call. He expressed a desire in working with me throughout the game as a power duo and I am here for it! This is exactly what I wanted! I'm very excited to work with him. He also talked about working with Tara and using Bryan since he saw how close he and I were. JG's insight could be beneficial to my game as I tend to be a very delusional and oblivious person at times. I am already putting myself in a good position so I cannot wait to see what happens! This tribe is definitely drinking the Raffy Kool-Aid. Time to just utilize them to further my position.

Rafael

I'm speaking to Andreas right now. He brings up a very interesting point that I have noticed about the games I have been in. People are scared of me. They are scared of how I play the game. In this community, to those who know me, I'm considered a "dangerous" player. I'm honored to hold that status, but it's also annoying at the same time. Like I never really get the chance to play differently if I wanted to. I always have to stay the social player to stay. People need to want to keep me for my personality. They already see me as a threat. Note to self: need to cool it on the strategizing for now

Rafael

Why is Tara such an angel? Like she literally just spent time playing 20 questions with me. We just talked about ourselves and got to know each other more. This girl is sweet! But also playing an amazing social game currently. I can see her being a threat later down the line, but I want to keep her around. Plus I don't think people would go for someone like her this early in the game.

Andreas

What's up Mohelians. It's Day 1 and oh boy, my Tribe is lit! Have you ever ordered something at a restaurant, waited for an uncomfortably long time whilst growing hungry, ONLY TO RECEIVE SOMETHING YOU DIDN'T ORDER? Yeah? That's my tribe. I've played with Raffy and JG in my very first ORG and we were in a very awkward situation where naive, inexperienced me betrayed Raffy, heavily blindsiding him, only to be eventually be blindsided by JG myself. But that's okay. I hope to get a chance at a fresh start with Raffy. As for JG, we'll see. I know he's a really fun guy, but I don't really trust him game-wise. As for the other people: Bryan and Elliott haven't replied. And I've spent a good few hours talking with Tara about <everything>. Game-wise, idk if I can trust her just yet, but she's very easy and a lot of fun to talk to and I reveal everything about me, because that's a wise strategic move, right? Anyway, Day 1 tl;dr: I wanna work together with Raffy and Tara. But let's see what happens. :)

Eric A

So day 1 is down, which has been the most nerve wracking org day I played in a while, even though nothing happened. Akito seems to want to work with me, which is good for me because I never get approached, like ever. I approached all the others on my tribe too, just to introduce myself. I think I would want to work with my clone and AnnMarie the most. My clone (Eric K.) and I seem to get along well, especially with the connection of us having the same name. I feel like I have more connections to him than Blake or Lynn. I also like AnnMarie because she seems to be outgoing and fun, at least by what she has said so far. I think she is a trustworthy person as long as I were to approach her early in the game. But you never know in Survivor. You have to go with your instinct, and I intend on doing just that.

Akito

Oh my goodness no idols! I am loving this season already. Now I can only focus on strategy and socializing which is perfect! Let's hope I do a good job doing this though.

Tim

Things are quiet over here at Moya but this challenge makes me want to jump!!! From a bridge!!! The truth of the matter is that my Mental Health had continued to deplete from learning French

This challenge is gonna drive me crazy oops , I used the wrong tense! IT IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! I hate tedious work and this is literally just doing the same thing over and over. It's like the song that never ends, its OK the first time and you can tolerate the second time through like the fifth but after that you're just waiting for someone "accidentally" knock you out.

I really am getting good vibes from Raf,Tara, and Bryan. I'm less cautious about Tara being tight because apparently she JUST met Bryan a day or two ago. Crazy how things work out! If I'm being frank (I know it's not my real name) I would be down with doing a four person alliance consisting of me, Tara, Raf, and Bryan. It appears we are the most active so far and granted the other two were in different time zones but still haven't seen much. I started to talk to Elliot and he seems cool. Not sure what vibe I am getting yet. Also I was successful in my night one goal that is the same for every game. GET THE TRIBE ON CALL!!! This is a way for me to bond with people and feel them out as well try to read between the lines of past relationships. People are more likely to say something they didn't mean to than to type it. I really think at the very least we should get second and if not then I will probably push for Andreas to be voted off! Sucks to suck, I guess.

J.G.

This challenge is a chienne! Probably the only French I'll remember after this.

Elliot

I've been using duolingo for two hours and while i still don't know french i think i may be forgetting how to speak english please send help

Tim

We are gonna lose smh!!!!

Becca

Okay so far I love my tribe and everyone is awesome! I’m pretty hyped!

Elliot

I spent like 6 hours gaining 1000xp only to take one test and get 900xp i genuinely learnt fucking french and w a s t e d 7 hours of my fucking life I'm so upset oh my god

Tim

https://scavengertim2.tumblr.com/post/171745654689 my eternal mood.

Tim

So Phoenix is playing sorta fast? Making an alliance based on nothing fjsksks just trying to get majority to vote with them because they are gonna score low djsksks.

Lynn

I honestly thought we were going to tribal because I had to work most of the day and felt like I didn’t do the most I could have but i’m proud of the tribe.

Blake

Im estatic we didn’t go To tribal! I see that AnnMarie may be a slacker so if we plunge on our next challenge she may have to go home.

Tim

Im not saying ANYTHING this time around. Not even gonna ask for a name. Anyways sidenote... Bryan really wanted that advantage huh sis outdid himself.

Matt J

Well we are going to tribal, that sucks. I definitely could be going home tonight but I hope I have built strong enough relationships with people to stick around. Now I need to talk it over with my allies to see who’s going home. I want Phoenix or Dani gone for one simple reason: they never tried talking to me. I’m just hoping that they are not gunning for me for the same reason.

richie

whats up whats good we in this bitch!!! its day 2 in this game and we already lost the first immunity challenge and we're going to tribal because i'm literally destined to be on the worst tribe in every game i play its just what i deserve!!! this is a small tribe theres only 6 of us and i like everyone ive had at least somewhat of a conversation with everyone at some point in the last day nothing spectacularly life changing/bond making/best friend creating/social game dominating but at least something..... a couple hours before we lost immunity i was talking to phoenix for the first time they were the last person i had any interaction with and then he's like "Hey, I was wondering if you want to work with my alliance?" and instantly in my head i was like *omarosa voice* YOUR alliance? tell me about your alliance... since you just said that "my alliance" is what you just said..... so that was ridiculously poor wording on phoenix's part because it was like hey i have my alliance want to work with us.... so obviously i said yeah bc you cant say no and i wanted the tea so he adds me to the chat and its phoenix/tim/dani and i can see the chat history where they were already together in this alliance chat and phoenix says "Yo I'm talking to Richie, should I ask him if he wants to join the alliance so we have majority?"....................... can you make it any more obvious that i'm at the bottom of this alliance and i was brought in after it was established so yall would have majority and im just supposed to be grateful and compliant? okay....werk!!! unfortunately matt and becca got the worst scores in the challenge so if i wanted to do something about this the best i could do is either force a tie or try and flip tim to the other side but thats super risky to work with people who arent going to help us win and we just end up losing over and over....ill probably go along with whatever this alliance says and build up 1 on 1 relationships with them to try and up my ranks on their individual totem poles until we can swap or something but its been 5 minutes since we lost so im sure shit will go down that will change everything before tribal but i guess we'll see~! Rafael

Winning immunity is the greatest thing. I did not want to go to tribal in the first round! Bryan's reward was very interesting. Becca getting it might be a sign that he wants to work with her. Plus, it could be a detriment to Tim.

Tim

So Matt really screwed his own game up huh. Anywayss Phoenix is getting a bit crackdt and wild. Id love for Matt to stay but he threw my name out there yikes. (Not to vote out but in a negative way). I wanted Bec gone because she did worse on the challenge but we'll see .wink wonk

Tim

Also im becca scrambling and akig everyone to align with her and playing dumb because "um tehehehe this is my first org" im like yeah sis I get it lol you have some game potential but we'll see how that turns out. Im not a fool I see through that! Luckily Matt screwed himself over now hes gone and not her.

Tim

Im really looking forward to working with Richie and Dani and Phoenix but Im weary on Pho.

Tim

So my analytical skills have kicked in. Becca really saved herself by aligning with Matt who is also in jeopardy but he takes the fall by targeting someone who scored in the challenge instead of pressing the weight onto bec.

Matt J

So I’m pretty sure Becca was going to be going home but after using my amazing survivor skills, I put the target on me. What can I say, I play hard lol. I’m like 100% positive that Dani, Phoenix, and Tim are all working together. They were gonna target Becca since she did slightly worse than me in the challenge but then I opened my big mouth lol. I’m going to have to let Richie take control of my fate and see if he can pull any strings for me. The smartest move for him and Becca would be to turn on me though and if that’s the case, I have no hard feelings or regrets.

Bryan

Omg hey so. Little check in. OUR TRIBE WON THE FIRST IMMUNITY WOO! Not only that but I got first place overall with all the players so that was nice. The reward for getting first place was the i got to give an extra vote to someone on the losing tribe. I didn’t know anyone on the losing tribe and i had never met anyone so i gave it to Becca because feminism. Also another thing. I absolutely love the group of me, raffy, JG, and Tara. I feel like we all really connect and being on call with us four is a lot of fun! Me and raffy were talking about it and we felt that this group could really do some damage together. Anyways. Sorry this was so long. Peace out yo.

Akito

We won a challenge!!! but also seeing that I did 3rd best in tribe puts me in a good reason. I didn't do too well and I didn't do too bad. As long I average scores in the tribe I am in a decent spot. Right now I have to focus more on socializing and trying to make strategic moves now. Because I wanna gun for big comp threats, because they can easily beast their way, but at the same time you don't want to make too many big moves or do things too early too soon. Pinpointing the game and looking forward the future and thinking one step ahead and trying to see what works and all that. Building the bridges in relationships is key and I wanna put my trust in others so I can be able to maneuver that trust into an advantage in the game.

tara

bryan leaksss so much like i can't do anything w him bcos the whole tribe will hear about it. which sucks bcos i like bryan but like he has a big mouth!!! so talking to him is bad for my game. everyones attacking the foreigners too and its kinda rude!! i think i need to stick w them otherwise the kuang si alliance is gonna take over yikes!

Andreas

Bonjour mes amis.

I really don't like how my tribe works. It's one thing that I am unable to be around when people are active. I get it. I'm European. I sleep when you are active. But do you really need to focus camp life on skype calls? There's barely anything to start a conversation on! Arghh!!!! Anyway, with tryhards like Raffy, JG and Bryan, I don't see us losing a challenge anytime soon, but I do really feel like I'm at the bottom of the tribe. I was still only able to connect with Tara and I hope that we don't go to TC and get a swap soon. This has been proven to be quite the opposite of a chill ride already as people are realling putting everything on the line. Let's see how the next rounds go.

AnnMarie C.

Being in Sima tribe is an experience a lot different from other games I've had. I barely know anyone here, and they're all so quiet, I guess because of the challenge and because we won. I hope it changes soon. Not the winning part at least but the talking part. I feel TERRIBLE about just doing 270 xp for the challenge. 270!!!!! That's nothing. Having (French)Eric in the tribe though? He was like a gaurdians angel for us in this challenge. I also love how there are 2 Erics. I guess that happens a lot in ORGS. Two tims, two bryans, two erics, but I cannot wait until there are two AnnMaries! I think that would actually end up terribly. Anyways, the beginning of Moheli for me was lack luster. I was expecting getting to meet all these great people, having interesting conversations, and throwing down at this challenge, but it's quiet. Really quiet.

Rafael

JG, Bryan, Tara, and I were on call last night again! I really do think that this is a solid group of people. We get along really well together, and it is a group that I think no one will see coming. There is something that bothers me though. Tara is very likable. She could easily put herself in a position to control the game. There is also JG who is not dumb. He knows how to play this game. I do not doubt their loyalty, I'm scared of the power they could hold and the moves they could make. This could make them frontrunners from the beginning of merge and I want to win! That's thinking too far ahead though. I just need to relax and keep an eye on things.

Eric K

I'm super happy that the Sima tribe isn't going to tribal! i loved the first challenge because I'm french so it wasn't hard to go through the whole Duolingo course. I was really hoping to get the highest XP but I guess somebody else beat me out on that.

Matt J

So there’s not much time left before everyone has to vote and my time in this game is dwindling down. The only smart choice for my tribe is to vote me out. I didn’t do very well in the challenge and I talked a lot of strategy for someone on the chopping block. Last night I wanted to work with Becca but she wants to vote out Richie so now I’ve washed my hands with Becca and my only chance of staying in this game is if everyone votes for her.

Dani

There's either one of two things that are happening right now in this game. I have either formed a great majority alliance and am set for any future elimination, or am about to get completely blindsided. Hopefully it's the first lol.

Tim

Its already drama on the first vote ugh! Like ugh It was simple vote Bec because she did the worst in the challenge!

Matt J

So it turns out in a shocking turn of events I actually might not be going home first. It turns out that Becca may have rubbed off on people worst than me but of course I still won’t be surprised if I’m voted off lol. I do really trust Richie, and I’m starting to trust Phoenix and Dani as well. Tim has definitely rubbed off on me wrong, I’m hoping we won’t have to come back to tribal but if we do, Tim’s got to go.

Tim

Me @ this no idol twist: https://scavengertim2.tumblr.com/post/171775006444

#episodes

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