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colorfulgardenshark-blog · 5 years

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Why I Don’t Like the Stucky Ship

Hello. I’m Andy. And I don’t like the Stucky ship in the MCU.

I never have. I never will.

Now that’s not to say that I HATE it, nor that I think those who ship it are stupid or disgusting or delusional or whatever stupid names warring ships are calling each other these days.

It’s just that I find Stucky (and similar ships) extremely frustrating. And if you haven’t already started going off about this post (nothing personal, but I’ve been in this fandom since 2008; I know how y’all can be) and care to listen, I’ll explain to you why.

Now, every time I say I don’t ship this pairing, I invariably get people coming at me and giving me evidence to support the idea that Steve and Bucky are in love. To which I say, my dude, I have watched the exact same movies you have, and if you’re interested, I can direct you to a particular comic that would give you even more ammo (and that’s just what popped into my head right away; I’m sure there are more out there). I’m not saying that Steve and Bucky’s actions are 100% NOT indicative of romantic love. I can totally see how someone watching that could come to that conclusion.

But I really, really don’t ship it. In fact I anti-ship it. I bro-ship the fuck out of it, but I anti-ship them. And the reason is simple:

I want little boys to know that fiercely loving their friends is okay and doesn’t have to mean they’re dating.

Now if they are dating, that’s fine; you should always be friends with your SO, because if you’re not, why the hell are you dating?

But as a girl who was friends with a guy for most of my life, best friends, in fact, with neither of us being gay, it is honestly. so. fucking. exhausting to have people constantly asking “oh are you dating?” every single time you show support or affection for someone. GODDAMMIT SARAH NO WE’RE NOT DATING THIS IS MY GODDAMN BESTIE FUCK OFF. In fact we went through a time where we started distancing ourselves from each other because we were just so fucking tired of it. I almost lost my best friend because people couldn’t grasp the idea that neither one of us had any romantic attraction to each other and yet we were STILL affectionate to each other.

And I feel like, if we were both boys, it would have been even worse. So often boys are told not to show their emotions, to man up and not be sissies, and that crying and showing you care is a sign of weakness, and (in some places) that if you DARE show any level of affection towards another boy THEN YOU ARE A DEPLORABLE WASTE OF LIIIIIIFE.

There is not a single...m/m? double male? dual male? Sure, dual male friendship in the media (that I can think of) that doesn’t have a rabid ship fanbase screaming from the heavens that they’re secretly fucking and that if they aren’t seen in a relationship it’s queerbaiting or something along those lines. I can’t think of a single dual male relationship that exists that is outwardly affectionate that people don’t automatically start calling gay. So little boys don’t know that you can love your friends without being gay. Again, there’s nothing wrong with being gay, but having been harassed about my love life to a far lesser extent than many gay/perceived-gay people experience, that shit is fucking frustrating as fuck and highly toxic to a perfectly healthy and fulfilling friendship. So imagine if I were also a guy, like my friend.

So often I get people saying “Well no one would ever go to the lengths Steve went to if they were just friends.” To which I say...why not? I’d walk through fire for any of my besties in a fucking heartbeat. Someone’s talking shit about my horribly tortured bestie and wanting to have them killed? Well fuck, time to take on the entire world government. My bestie went to war and got captured and may or may not be dead? Someone fucking hold my beer; time to conquer my fear of heights and parachute in to save that fucker. Kill my bestie or possibly let them kill me? Guess I’ll die, then. At the very least I’d have to try; I mean what the fuck kind of friend would I be if I didn’t at least try. That’s my bestie. That’s my family. There’s not fucking much I wouldn’t do for any one of those assholes. And that’s. fucking. okay. There’s nothing wrong with that.

And honestly this doesn’t just apply to the Stucky ship. The same thing goes for Clintasha and Romanogers; just because two people are affectionate towards each other doesn’t mean they have to be dating. (Excluding Stony from this because really are they ever all that affectionate towards each other?)

I remember seeing a post about how men always count on women for emotional support in relationships, but women often don’t do the same because they have their girl friends. And everyone was going on about how shitty that was and how men don’t even realize what friendship is supposed to be, and that they don’t need to be in a relationship to expect emotional support. And I was sitting there reading that like “and yet whenever society is faced with a male friendship that includes affection and emotional support, people invariably, loudly, and in most cases viciously, begin insisting that they are/should be a couple.”

Now, of course I’m not saying that you can’t ship things that aren’t canon; that’s just a dumb idea. Shipping is wonderful. It’s the rabid, near-militant response I get when I say I don’t like the ship that I’m getting damn near tired of. It’s like I say I don’t like it and suddenly I’m accused of being homophobic, stupid for not seeing what’s right in front of me, or just a general bitch. No, I just don’t ship it, and I think that affectionate and supportive male friendships should be recognized and celebrated, not automatically turned romantic.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Have a nice day!

#MCU #stucky #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes #clintasha #romanogers #ship #shipping #canon

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