#this badboy can fit so many characters headcanon in it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

babiebom · 6 months

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Sdv Bachelor/ettes as the Hatchetfield Universe Characters

A/N:STARKID STARKID STARKID I LOVE SO MUCH also another shitpost? in this economy? More likely than you think. I wanted to do ALL Starkid characters but I think that’s too many options and I will be here for fifty years. Also this is a gift because I started work today and will probably not post anything for a hot minute

A/N pt 2: HAHAHA I STARTED WRITING THIS MY FIRST WEEK AND IMMEDIATELY GOT SICK SO IVE BEEN OUT OF WORK FOR A WEEK

Tw: maybe some spoilers for both the game and the musicals, cursing, mentions of abuse, murder, and some other stuff

Wc: idk it’s headcanons bb it’s gonna be at least 3 points though

Sdv Masterlist

Sebastian

Ethan Green(Black Friday)

Resident emo/badboy duo

I do think that as a teenager he would run away with someone that he thinks that he’s in love with to give them a better life even if he’s mistaken about how hard it is

Like he just seems like that type of guy

Like he would be the “yeah babe your family sucks let’s get out of here and be on our own” type of guy

I also think that he would be sweet to his partners younger sibling like just because he doesn’t get along with his own doesn’t mean that he hates kids or anything.

Also smokers lmao

Just really fits the vibe of Ethan very well

Guy that looks tough and bad boy-ish on the outside to in reality just be sweet and caring

I could also see Seb in the Ethan outfit :)

Sam

Kyle Clauger (Nerdy Prudes Must Die)

While I don’t think Sam is a bully really

I do think that as a teenager he would just go along with what his friends say because he is a sweet boy that just wants to fit in

Doesn’t wanna bully anyone at all just wants to be happy

Is popular but also not the most popular because he’s a golden retriever and isn’t really chasing popularity

Like yeah he wants to fit in but that doesn’t mean he cares about popularity really he just wants to be liked he doesn’t really care if he’s known or not

Kyle is really just a background character and we don’t really see him unless it’s like specific scenes with Max or like the aftermath.

So we don’t really know a lot other than he never really wanted to bully people but wanted to fit in with Max even to the point to where he doesn’t date anyone max tells him he can’t.

I do think that Sam would choose his friends over a significant other unless he actually genuinely loved them so I think he kinda fits this jock that’s not really mean but isn’t really helpful vibe

I would’ve chosen Ethan for Sam but Sam isn’t really a bad boy on the outside if I’m being honest.

Shane

Paul Matthews (The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals)

Mostly because I think it would be funny if he screamed at the top of his lungs for coffee

Also I think he wouldn’t enjoy watching a musical he hates the fact that everyone in them are either so happy or that they’re singing every five seconds

“PLEASE GOD NO”

Would also be horrified at “What do you want Paul”

I would’ve probably chosen Paul for Harvey because of his love for coffee but I don’t think he would be this unhappy about everything

Imagine trying to get him to sign ANYTHING while he’s walking to Joja he will not

Paul is much nicer than Shane at first glance but at the same time I feel like Shane could embody him well.

Like Shane can be Paul but Paul could never be Shane.

Alex

Max Jägerman (Nerdy Prudes Must Die)

Again I don’t really see him as a bully

But I do think he could’ve been one in high school

Like Sam I think Alex just wants to fit in and be cool (especially because of his life) so as a teenager I could see him being an absolute asshole as a teen

Maybe not to Max’s level but like out of everyone I think he fits Max the most

In the whole star quarterback and liked by the cool pretty girls.

The reason they win their games

Also in the whole no one really understands them

Like I know Max is horrible he’s a LITERAL MONSTER

But like when the main characters try to bully him he literally is like “this is the nicest thing anyone has done for me”

Like yeah he’s a bully and we can see that and they didn’t really flesh out that plot line it seemed like Max didn’t really have people in his life that genuinely cared about him to set anything up for him or do things for him other than be yes men which isn’t really caring at all

I feel like Alex would be similar in that he doesn’t really have friends (Haley doesn’t really count for me because I feel like she’s using him as means to an end. As if she sees him as who she’s supposed to end up with because of their looks instead of actually caring for him)

Only people who either tell him what he wants to hear without truly caring or understanding (except for his grandparents)

Alex too would be happy if someone decided to go through the trouble of making an elaborate prank for him.

Harvey

Becky Barnes(Black Friday)

Him and Maru were the most difficult for me but ultimately I settled on him being Becky

Mostly because he’s a doctor and I’m pretty sure she’s a nurse

But also because I also think Harvey is brave enough to go through an abusive relationship and come out of it still wanting to help the world

Also because I also think he would kill an abusive asshole bc he’s hot like that

I think they would have the same values like everyone matters and just because you have money or a greater status doesn’t mean you can take advantage of people or act like an asshole

I also think it would take an ancient god to make him become a man without morals

Elliott

Professor Hidgens (The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals)

CAN YOU SEE THIS LIKE I DO

Both are men of the arts and it’s funny

Also writing and music are very similar/ writing a musical is literally just writing a story and adding music to it so when I say it’s similar I mean it’s SIMILAR

I could see Elliott going insane and holding people hostage like “DO YOU WANNA READ MY NEW STORY?? PLEASE READ IT AND GIVE ME FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!!”

I could literally see Elliott taking this role and killing it

Like it’s not a lot to say because I think it’s very obvious

Also they both have that air of like…..pretentiousness?

Not in a bad way at all it just like…..they seem to give off the aura of having money

I think I feel like this because it’s like they have the freedom to write and go into the arts even though Hidgens is a professor I believe

It’s just they give off the air of feeling or being better than you but not in a way that is like their doing maybe

Idk if y’all can understand what I’m trying to say? Like they don’t act like they’re better than you it’s just their vibes

Abigail

Stephanie Lauter(Nerdy Prudes Must Die)

I wanted her to be “Latte Hottie” from TGWDLM(I forgot her name for now ignore it) but she doesn’t really give those vibes when you think about it

I feel like Steph and Abigail are VERY similar

They both seem like in school they’re cool but in different ways but they both have similar vibes

I think Stephanie is more grunge or skater(forgive me I don’t know clothing genres)

And Abby is more gothic but like I think they’re v similar

Like they aren’t in charge but people know them and even if they dislike them no one is fucking with them at all

Also the way their fathers are

I feel like Pierre would be VERY similar to Steph’s father

Like claims they love their child but beat them down with their words

Like imagine if Pierre was running for Mayor or something like

You already know he would be the biggest asshole

Would also fall in love with a person she doesn’t really match with on outer appearance on first look

Haley

Emma Perkins (The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals)

I think it would be funny to put Haley in this role

Like they’re both bitches but are funny/attractive to the point where it’s fine

And it’s a bitchiness that isn’t from meanness it’s literally just them being blunt

Like there is no lie about what they’re saying it’s just a rude thing to say lmao

Would be annoyed if she was working and was forced to sing for every tip

Would curse and be sarcastic to annoying people without caring and somehow manages to not be fired

Only difference is that I think that Haley wouldn’t half ass ‘Cup of Roasted Coffee’ because I thinks she wants to look good

Would tell Professor Hidgens to fuck off that she doesn’t want to hear about his musical

Emily

Hannah Foster(Black Friday)

I think in my mind(I have not watched Black Friday since the first time I saw it and it’s been a while) that Hannah knew more than the others

Like I remember while watching it that they didn’t take her as serious as they acted more like they listened to her in a “yeah okay grandpa take your meds” kind of way

When in reality she was connected and seeing things that they wouldn’t be able to understand

I think Emily is similar or fits the vibe where she understands things in a different way than the others

And they just see it as her being weird when in reality she’s just connected to the world in a deeper way.

Even though Emily is the older sibling I think she just fits this role where she could feel what is going to happen from the beginning

Leah

Lex Foster(Black Friday)

I know this looks like I ship her and Seb but I don’t

Her moms a bitch, an alcoholic

Jkjk (that’s penny)

BUT!!! I think Leah fits the whole “run away to escape my problems and follow my dreams” sort of thing

Like she literally broke off an engagement(or relationship at least) and left everything behind to move to a town in the middle of nowhere in order to follow her dreams

Literally just wants the best for herself and if she had a sibling I think she would want the best too

I also think she’s a dreamer. Like you don’t run off to become an artist without having big dreams and aspirations.

Penny

Grace Chasity(Nerdy Prudes Must Die)

Argue with a wall I’m right

I see her as like a goody two shoes that puts her beliefs above anything and really wants to make her family proud

Like I could see her being deeply religious

And honestly if Pam wasn’t an alcoholic and her father was still around I think they would be similar to the chastity’s just not as bad

Like obviously holding someone’s books isn’t equivalent to sex or whatever they believe but I do think they would’ve raised her to be a good Christian gal that should wait until marriage

Also because Penny sticks around for her mother and to teach the kids gives me those vibes

Would also go crazy like absolutely bonkers this woman is

Maru

Ruth Fleming(Nerdy Prudes Must Die)

Mostly because I think it’s funny

And because I couldn’t figure out who she would be so she gets to be Ruth

Also I think they’re both socially awkward

Ruth is just an awkward person

And I think that Maru is just socially unaware

Also I think that Maru would be the friend that’s like “can y’all set me up with someone?”

And everyone would be like “lmao no”

JUST FOR ONCEEEEEEEE

also Maru probably never fucks because Demetrius is always on her ass

Ruth never fucks bc she’s unfuckable

Honestly the same thing no one wants to have sex with the girl who’s dad will barge in without announcement or care

Like he legit wanted to catch her in the act to yell

Like why would you walk in if you think she’s getting railed and not like slam your fists on the door if you wanna stop them

N e ways

They’re the same bc they’re nerds <3

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boghermit · 3 years

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Sebastian Lacroix for the ask game

Oh man, I’m really sorry in advance for the wall of text but he’s one of my favorite characters. Here goes!

Favorite thing about them:

He’s just a hot mess. (Almost all of my favorite characters fall into that category.) He’s petulant, uppity, and throws some of the best villain tantrums known to video games. The most played VTMB ending (my favorite ending in ANY video game) has him laughing hysterically five seconds before he accidentally blows himself up. He fought tooth and nail for that stupidass sarcophagus and then, oops! There’s no body in there! It’s been booby trapped! Oops! Whoopsie!

But even with all of those amazing cartoon villain moments, you know he’s at least SOMEWHAT competent or he wouldn’t be here. He drops all these juicy tidbits of lore that get you wondering what he was like before being Embraced, or how he got this far, but he doesn’t give you the whole story. He’s a good example of “show, don’t tell” in a villain.

Least favorite thing about them:

How he treats / refers to the sheriff in canon, which I think a lot of us ignore in our fanfic and art because it just straight up fucking sucks and no one likes that shit. To be fair he’s not the only one who acts like that towards the Sheriff, but that doesn’t excuse it.

Favorite line:

I love every line where he hints at some bigger story that we don’t know about. The reluctance telling about his Embrace. The excessive hate for the Sabbat. The whole “Did you know what it takes to get as far as I have?” thing. It’s just *mwah mwah* delicioso! But if I had to pick ONE it would probably be “Stolen? Stolen??? HOW…WHO…..Gary. Gary you TREASONOUS MAGGOT. I should have anticipated your treachery SEWER RAT.”

BROTP:

The Sheriff for sure, especially in fanon where (for the most part) people write the Sheriff as them being close friends or partners in crime. Also, Mercurio.

OTP:

For non-canon, him and my friend’s character Nick. For canon characters, I’m not sure, but there’s this one fic by @iravaid called "We Don't Have To Like Each Other To Survive" that BY ITSELF converted me to Nines / LaCroix. It’s just done really well, as opposed to a lot of fics I see where the relationship is very abusive and not particularly fun to read.

NOTP:

Probably an unpopular opinion because this is actual canon but the whole Jeanette thing. I thought it was funny at first to be fair (JEANETTE???), but at this point it’s just kind of annoying for reasons I can’t quite place. I could TRY to be fake deep about it, but I don’t think that’s called for. I just don’t care for it as a ship.

Random Headcanon:

God I have SO many but I’ll try to keep it short. He had to claw his way to the top, both in life and unlife. He wasn’t born into wealth, but claims to be nobility. In truth he started out as lower middle class at most, and in the Grande Armee he was promoted by merit and not by wealth (as was the custom in Napoleonic France). After Waterloo he was forcefully Embraced by the Sabbat, hated it, and escaped several decades later while burning every bridge behind him. This is one of his biggest secrets, and one that he feels would bring him great shame if it were to become common knowledge.

Unrelated to anything in-game, another headcanon I have is that he is probably nonbinary or GNC, alongside being bisexual. He isn’t very open about being bisexual and is even less open about his gender. Public LGBTQ+ acceptance in the Western world is still a very recent development and he hasn’t adjusted to it yet. (Not to mention that LGBTQ+ acceptance isn’t as standard as we’d like it to be, and a lot of us still face frequent prejudice in the modern world.) It doesn’t help that a lot of his contemporaries seem to hold a lot of old timey prejudice against these kinds of things.

Unpopular opinion:

IDK if this is unpopular or not but regardless of how cute he is in the face, he dresses like shit. Girl what is this? What is this fit? Is that corduroy? Is that fucking corduroy? What is that tie? I’m going to puke.

Song I associate with them:

HARD TO ANSWER BECAUSE THERE ARE A LOT AND I HAVE A SEVEN HOUR PLAYLIST FOR THIS FUCKER BECAUSE I CAN’T LIKE ANYTHING NORMALLY AND okay okay hold up.

*Smacks the top of Fever Ray's If I Had A Heart.* This badboy can fit so many characters in it.

youtube

Favorite picture of them:

Scrungy LaCroix

#thank you for the ask <3

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