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#this could've been longer and included more across the series but i wanted to post it before the hotaustenpoll is over
useyourtelescope · 1 month
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"You might not see one in a hundred with gentleman so plainly written as in Mr. Knightley." - Emma, Jane Austen
Emma (2009) | 1x02
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themadauthorshatter · 3 years
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WELCOME BACK ONE AND ALL!
Welcome back to MY take on Toppat!Charles, the series that gives you... angst and cliffhangers in every chapter, just like Game of Thrones😅.
In case you haven't read them yet here are links to the first three parts, which I recommend you read because the brief recaps don't do them justice.
Part 1:
Part 2:
Part 3:
BRIEF RECAP AND HEADCANON TO FOLLOW FOR THE POST TIME!
After his attack on Burt, Charles has caved and is now open to what Right has to say and vice versa. Henry and Gerneral Galeforce, more Galeforce, have been contacted by the Center for Chaos Containment and offered their men for one Henry Stickmin. Ellie has been good emotional support, but Henry goes against Galeforce and Ellie in order to save his friend.
Got that? Great!👍
So what's the headcanon this week? Well, @triple-threat-toppats and @azuri-the-imperfect-artist have AU's/headcanons that Toppat-ing is in Henry's blood, whether that be biological or otherwise, and we'll be meeting a new character this chapter who ties this all together perfectly😈.
We all good? FANTASTIC!
LET'S DIVE IN!!
We pick up where we left off with Henry outside as a receptionist, of sorts, freaks out that he called, telling everyone on the floor and shouting for an official to take the call.
Through this entire exchange, Henry rolls his eyes at how much of a fan boy the receptionist is, groans that no one can find an official at two' in the moring, and eventually takes a seat and listens as a few mid-ranking officials argue about who gets to talk to him; 10.6 anomaly, he's a pretty big deal to them.
They all fall silent when a man shouts, "Hand 'im over to me."
Henry should be scared, but he's glad that FINALLY someone is on the other end to talk to.
"Mr. Stickmin," says the official. "Nice of you to call."
"Who am I speaking with right now?" Henry asks as he stands up, not at all interested in playing games. (The irony that hit me after I typed that🤦‍♀️😂😂)
The official scoffs, "Not one for banter. I respect that. Son, name's Corporal Bill Bullet, leading official of the Center for Chaos Containment. How can we help you at this hour?"
Henry paces as he continues talking. "You talked to General Rupert Galeforce, right?"
"We did, actually. About you, but you probably already guessed that."
Henry looks back at the toppat orbital station, staring at it as he stays silent. Again, he is not in the mood for games.
Bullet sighs on the other end of the phone. "Guess you calling means you've made you're choice?"
Henry is quiet for a second and swallows a lump in his throat. "What happens if I agree to the terms?"
"Take a guess, kid."
Henry sees flashes of his life if he is in the CCC's custody and groans at the migraine said flashes give him.
"You're quite the interesting person, Henry. Robbing a bank with a bag, breaking out of prison by dogding and throwing bullets before stealinga police car, stealing a diamond by pushing yourself off a bridge, taking down the toppats, and escaping a maximum security complex with barely even a scratch."
Henry bites his tongue as he remembers those moments and their alternative paths INCLUDING the fails.
"But you didn't just get a few scratches, you did? 10.6 is a pretty high rating on our meter. Can't imagine what would happen to a person who causes as much chaos as you."
Henry shakes his head and snaps, "Just tell me!"
Bullet is silent once more, disappointed at how he can't at least tease what is essentially a rabbit walking right into an easily seen trap.
"We'll study the source of your... ability. How one person can live one life before jumping to the next, but existing like he did before that life ended.
"You may be a young man, Henry, but you've probably lived longer and died more than the rest of us put together. Why is that? How, excatly?"
Despite the knot forming in his stomach, Henry nods and hums to let Bullet know he's listening.
"There's also a certain balance to the world, one that shouldn't be bothered, 'less we want to cause A LOT of collateral damage. Lead to a lot of people getting hurt, cause a lot of casualties. You already lost one person you care about. What if you lost all of them?"
Henry gulps as he remembers the complex riot and how a robot was sent to tear down the museum he stole the Tunisian Diamond from.
Any of those people could've easily been Ellie or the General or, if he'd gone down the Toppat route, the entire clan.
Bullet may be manipulating emotionally, but he kind of has a point.
The chaos Henry causes is extremely dangerous, if what we've seen in StD, ItA, FtC, and CtM are any examples. Imagine if he had caused that sort of chaos in a major city, like real world New York or Detroit.
I don't know about you guys, but if something like any of the games happened IRL, all caused by Henry, there would easily be cities flattened to the ground with COUNTLESS fatalities.
"Helloooo? You still with me, Mr. Stickmin?"
Henry snaps out of his stupor and takes a deep breath before talking again. "Promise me you'll help. I want your honest word."
"Which I'll stay good on as long ad you keep your end of the bargain," Bullet retorts. "A quarter of our forces at your disposal to help you get your friend back as long as you turn yourself in to our facility. Deal?"
Henry is silent again, but when he speaks again, he tries something:
"Will I still talk to anyone outside? Send them any letters?"
"Not really. Think the government would handle our research well? Or what you can do?
"Last chance, deal or no deal?"
Henry stares up at the sky, counting the stars and moon, and then watches orbital station drift across the sky, covering part of the moon.
"Sir, we have a situation!" Someone yells on the other end.
Bullet does one if those angry growls or snarls. "Don't keep me waiting on your answer, Henry. Our resources are limited, too. Make your decision and call me back the second you do."
"Sir-"
"I'M COMING!"
The call ends and Henry lets out a sigh as he drops to his knees and then hugging them to his chest, shaking and now doubting whether or not he's making the right choice.
Unbeknownst to him, however, Ellie had followed him when he walked out and is struggling very badly with hiding her tears and sobbing from Henry, who is over a few feet away.
JUMP TO SOME FAN SERVICE!!😍🤩
Er, Charles. Jump to Charles. I SAID CHARLES!!!!!
Charles is mostly done showering, mostly because he's done washing and cleaning himself up, even shaving because he looks better without facial hair, and is now simply standing in the shower and letting the water fall on him.
He can't exactly remember how long it's been since he showered last, but he doesn't bother trying to because it only makes him think about how the government destroyers were blown up and anyone who managed to get on the station was killed as a message to the government and Henry and Ellie, and as an example for Charles, in case he gets any ideas.
He keeps thinking about how Henry looked at him before he went unconscious, how Henry did nothing to help him even though HE could've done something. He had before on missions, so what had stopped him then and there?
"I was wondering the same thing," Right says, though Charles doesn't hear him over the water running.
Charles gasps as he slips to the ground and realizes how he's thinking about his friend, forgetting Right was standing on the other side of the wall and curtain to keep an eye on him, just in case.
"N-no," Charles says to who he thinks is himself. "He... He wouldn't just leave me. None of them would."
Right rolls his eyes at this and steps closer to where he's in front of the curtain, though he does grab a towel. "You know, you talk to yourself a lot. 'S kind of freaky."
Charles curls into himself and into the corner of the shower and covers his ears. "Shut up! Just shut up and leave me alone!"
"How long have you been here?" Right asks as he looks up at the ceiling. "And why isn't Henry here to get you out? Aren't you two supposed to be friends?"
"Stop it!" Charles cries, curling into himself further.
Right smirks and decides to twirs the knife. "He helped that Ellie girl, didn't he? When she needed his help? I wonder if what they say is true? Birds of a feather flock together? They're both criminals, so I wouldn't really blame them for teaming up."
"SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH!" Charles screams. "YOU'RE WRONG! ALL OF YOU ARE WRONG! HE'S COMING TO SAVE ME, THEY ALL ARE!"
Right's smirk drops and he raises and eyebrow before drawing back the curtain.
Charles flinches back, covering his head and waiting for the strike.
But it never comes.
He looks up at Right, who's standing and giving him a look that says very clearly, 'I'm getting sick of your shit, stop.'
The two stare at each other for a bit, Charles wide eyed and scared before glaring as hard as he can.
Right keeps his bored expression because while he's probably in the best shape he's been in in a WHILE, Charles has lost at least twenty-five pounds and is cowering in the corner of a shower with long hair and clean shaven face; one lesson they teach you: you don't always need a mirror to shave your face.
The two continue their staring contest until Right slings the towel over his shoulder, takes off his top hat, and reaches into the shower with his cybernetic hand and turns off the water, flicking any off his fingers before stepping back and putting his top hat back on, Charles staring the whole time in case Right attacks him.
Right doesn't, of course, and tosses Charles the towel before pointing to a set of clothes hanging behind him and , just something neat but comfortable, not exactly a sweater and sweat pants, but close enough.
He then walks away until he's facing the door, his back to Charles.
"Hurry up and get dressed. Your room's ready."
Charles dries off and does get dressed, but he's careful to not take his eyes off Right.
First this guy got Charles captured and isolated him from everyone else, and now he's letting Charles shower and have his own room?
What's he up to?
Don't worry, he doesn't talk to himself this time.
Charles finishes putting on the clothes Right gave him, and looks at the towel he'd just hung on the hanger that held his clothes. Then he looks at Right, who's back is still turned.
You know EXACTLY where this is going.
Charles takes down the towel, careful that it doesn't hit the wall, and starts twisting it up as he sneaks up to Right, who either looks down at a wrist watch or checks a pocket watch because now he's getting a little bored.
Just as Charles is about to get the jump on him, Right pivots to face him.
"Good. You're done. It took you long enough."
Charles is absolutely speechless as he goes completely pale his face drops.
"Here, let me take that for you." Right pulls the towel out of Charles's hands and unwinds it. "Shouldn't do this to a wet towel. Could get moldy."
Right nods his head as a 'follow me' and leaves the showers.
Charles remains shell shocked for a minute and tries not to burst into tears at how his plan blew up his his face, but ultimately walks after Right, who strides ahead with a smile on his face.
Think Henry got away with that call? Weeeeeeeelll...
CUT TO THE GOVERNMENT
Galeforce SLAMS his hands on his desk, making Henry jump slightly in his chair and Ellie flinch against the wall, her arms crossed and shoulders hunched.
"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!? ACCEPTING THE DEAL MADE BY THOSE NUTJOBS!? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?"
Henry's sign is sloppy and fast, but the general still understands it. 'Wanted Charles safe.'
"So do we, Henry, but not by selling one of our best!"
Henry shakes his head and signs again, this time more clearly. 'You can't make me change my mind.'
Ellie speaks up after being silent for so long: "Henry, think about what you're doing."
'Already did. Made up my mind.'
"Son, it's not worth it."
Those words hit Henry harder than they should, making him grit his teeth.
"Trust me. Those CCC guys are nothing but trouble. We can't accept their help."
Henry shoots up to his feet. "I DON'T CARE!" He screams. "CHARLES IS TRAPPED IN SPACE WITH NO ONE TO HELP HIM AND IT'S MY FAULT HE'S UP THERE TO BEGIN WITH, SO LET ME FIX THIS!"
No one talks as Henry pants, falling back into his chair and holdong his head in his hands, pulling slightly at his hair and shaking.
"It's all I can think of doing. It's our only option. I can't think of anything else."
Ellie and Galeforce exchange glances before turning back to Henry, who leans heavily on one hand or arm as he meets their gaze.
"You're sure you know what you're doing?"
Henry looks at them both for a moment while not speaking before nodding slowly. 'I can't think of anything else. The corporal hung up before I could say yes. Someone talked about a 'situation.''
Ellie and Henry stare at each other, the former more puffy eyed than she was last night because this could very well be the last time she sees her friend.
She doesn't want him to leave, but if it's really his choice, who is she to not support him after all he did to help her?
"When do you-"
'I'm going in to visit later. Called back and told them I'd gove my answer AFTER I talked to someone.'
Both look at him incredulously.
"Talk to who?" Galeforce asks as he turns his head to look at Henry through the corner of his eye.
Henry takes in a deep breath through his nose and holds either of his hands at the top of his head, raising them up and down, gesturing a top hat to them.
BACK TO CHARLES
Right leads Charles to the room and watches him walk inside and look around, almost confused because it's been so so long since he'd last been in a normal bedroom. And because there's a chance this could all be a trick.
"Been a while since you had a decent room. Prob'ly nicer than what you're used to."
Charles takes a seat on the bed and keeps his head down, confused and tired of Right's games.
"You don't really believe Henry's gonna save you, do you? It's been a while since the last destroyer was sent and the government has more pilots. You military people are pretty easy to replace. You are just a pilot, after all."
Charles keeps his head down and lets his hair hang; it's obviously grown longer and Right gave him a razor but no scissors.
"Why are you doing this?" Charles asks. "What do you want from me?"
Right fights a smile and approaches Charles, taking a knee infront of him and waiting for the pilot to acknowledge him, which Charles does by picking up his head and meeting his eyes.
BACK TO THE CCC HEADQUARTERS!!!!!
Henry is being led by four guards and Bill Bullet. He hasn't gotten a lot of sleep, but he's good at not showing it.
"Weird request to visit someone before you make your decision. Usually we don't allow visitors." Bullet turns and sees Henry keeping up behind him, zoning out slightly but snapping out of it when he sees him looking. "You're not as talkative as you were on the phone the other night."
'Only way to contact you,' Henry signs.
Bullet smirks a little bit. "You deaf in one of your ears?"
'If I need to, I'll talk. Otherwise, I'll sign. Now where is he?'
Bullet sighs stops at an acrylic wall, seeing a doctor talking to a man.
Henry bristles slightly before calming himself back down.
"Guessing you two haven't talked in a while. I love reunions."
Henry narrows his eyes at Bill and gestures to the room. 'Private?'
"Enough. Don't worry, we won't listen in." Bill then grabs Henry by his jacket lapel and shoves him against the wall, catching the attention of doctor and occupant. "But I'm warning you right now," Bill growls as he leans close to Henry's face. "Try anything funny while you're in there, and I'll make you regret ever being born."
Henry nods and Bullet backs off him, letting him collect himself as the doctor walks out.
"Sir? He's done with his tests. His vitals and mental state are stable. He's also ready to see his visitor."
Bullet sweeps a gesture to the door. "He's all yours, Mr. Stickmin."
Henry nods and enters the room, his eyes on its occupant.
The two stare at each other for a bit, taking in each other's features.
"Hello, Henry."
The man in this room used to be moderately fit, and a REAL charmer, but years spent in the CCC's facility have taken their toll. He's gotten skinnier, his face is wrinkled and sunken in, and his hair, while it's slightly longer than Henry's, is greying and becoming thin. He doesn't look terrible by any means, but he has definitely seen better days.
He has cybernetics for both his arms and one leg, along his spine, neck to tailbone, and in part of his jaw. Where his left eye used to be, the eyelids are closed and flat; he's not even allowed to have a glass eye.
Being overthrown by Reginald Copperbottom, both literally and figuratively, forever left him with a permanent reminder.
The two stare at each other for a little while longer before Henry replies to the notorious worst leader in the toppat clan's history.
"Hi, Dad."
The two continue staring, Henry shuffling in place and Terrence rubbing his neck.
Henry signs, 'How is it here?'
"A hell hole. Nothing to do, no one to talk to, and you only get something when they say you can. Other than that, it's peachy."
Terrence's eye darts to the guards and Bill before moving back to Henry. "Guess what they said was true. You're actually coming here so you can save your friend."
"Yeah," Henry replies after a second.
I know I'm putting in a lot of pauses, but these two don't even send letters to each other, so sharing a room and having a conversation for them is awkward and extremely uncomfortable.
Back on track, Terrence scoffs at Henry's line of thinking, commenting, "And I thought these doctors were crazy. Let me guess: Reggie decided to take something from you because you took something from him? He always was a child."
'Reginald's been in prison since I arrested him.'
"You arrested him?" Terrence repeats as he stands. "The leader of the toppat clan, the most infamous group of bandits and thieves, and you just turned him in to the government? Why didn't you join him, you would've been perfectly fine!"
'Right hand man has my friend, I need to get him back. That's why I'm here.'
Terrence puts his hands on his face and groans. "No. Do not tell me I'm hearing this." He meets eyes with Henry, who nods with a shrug.
"You broke out of prison with a bar from your own cell, stole a diamond on a scooter, and escaped a maximum security prison, but you arrested the leader of the toppat clan, the son of a bitch of did this to me-" Terrence holds his arms out to gesture to his cybernetic body. "- and gave him to the government, but didn't see his lap dog wanting to settle the score or even the odds with you!?"
'A lot goes through my head on missions, okay!?'
Terrence nods, humming cheekily. "I'll bet. Think it would've gone better if you'd used that gun you had? We both know he wasn't going to do anything."
Henry sees himself charging at Right rather than throwing away his gun, but signs back, 'You don't know what he would've done. You haven't seen him.'
Terrence points to a tv in the corner of the room, one right next to the camera. "Saw how he got an upgrade. You can groom and pamper a dog all you want, its bark will still be worse than it's bite."
Henry spots Bill talking to the guards before waving at him and tapping on his wrist, more specifically on a watch. 'Don't take long.'
"Saw their orbital station, too. Like hell you're getting your friend out of space. And like hell sunglasses over there is gonna let you out of his sight if you're serious about that deal."
Henry looks Terrence directly in the eye and nods. 'I know.'
Terrence's face drops as Henry continues.
'During the mission, I hesitated because I was scared he'd kill Charles, my friend. I helped the government by giving them plans, but nothing worked. This is my last option. You are my last option. You weren't around then to tell me what to do, but I need you now because for once I have everything I could ever want, and I'm about to lose it all for being a coward. I know you're not going to like it, or even care, but I just need you to be here when they bring me in. Just be there and tell me I did enough for once, when you're really around. That's all I need right now.'
It's this that makes Terrence drop the "tough loving father" act and makes him realize that this is for real. This is not his son saying, "I made a mistake, fix it for me." This is his son telling him that this is his plan and he needs support to know he's doing the right thing.
Henry is extremely shaky because this is something he does not do with his father. They aren't usually open with each other, as in they do get emotional; toxic masculinity at its finest... and daddy issues.
Regardless, Henry collects himself before signing again.
'I'm going to agree to the terms. If they can send a piece of the ground to space or erase the universe, then they can help me. It's all I can think of doing that'll work.'
Terrence is quiet for a moment, looking at Bill and the guards as they gossip about something before turning back to Henry.
"Are you absolutely sure about this?"
Hebry nods. 'It's all that I can think of that's going to work. Again, if they can send a chunk of land of space or erase the universe, then they can help me.'
Terrence steps back and shakes his head.
"You're going to die here. You know that, right? I'm telling you now it's not worth it."
Henry's face drops.
"Look, I get it. You never were good at keeping friends, but, Henry, I'm telling you, just let this guy go. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life locked in a cage?"
Henry shakes his head as he signs. 'No, but I'm not going to abandon my friend like you abandoned us.'
"I had a clan to run, Henry!" Terrence snaps. "I wanted you to stay, have an easy life, but no. You two just ran off on me!"
'Just because something's easy doesn't always make it right,' Henry signs. He begins signing something else, but stops before continuing. 'Look. I'm accepting the terms. I wanted to tell you now ao you're not disappointed later.'
Henry holds up a hand in farewell and turns to leave, ready to get back to the base and start forming a new plan.
"Henry?"
He turns to see Terrence staring once again, but also sees his throat bobbing, like he's coughing or about to be sick.
"Good... Good luck. Getting your friend back."
Henry's eyes widen and he shakily nods. 'Thanks.'
The two stare at each other like before, but this time they slowly advance towards one another, maneuver their arms until they're in an admittedly awkward, uncomfortable, but welcome embrace; again, emotion is not their strong suit.
"You're going to regret it. Turning yourself in. Life's for living, and you're throwing it away."
Henry pulls back and waves 'goodbye' once more and leaves the room.
"Took you long enough," Bill says as Henry rejoins him. "Have a nice visit?"
Henry narrows his eyes.
"Well, you got your visit. Hope you know how to get into that station."
Henry takes one last look at his father before nodding.
'The terms-'
"Same as advertised," Bill interrupts. "A quarter of our forces as long as you come quietly so we study your ability."
'AFTER my friend is rescued and safe.'
Bill waves him off. "Fine, yes. After your friend's back home and safe." He holds his hand out infront of him and Henry. "What do you say, Henry? Do we have a deal?"
Behind the acrylic, Terrence watches the two of them, his hands against the wall and his eyes on his son.
Henry keeps his eyes on Bill's hand before looking into his eyes. With a mental push, he claps his hand into the corporal's and shakes it, nodding.
"Deal."
Terrence bumps and shakes his head against the wall. "You idiot," he murmurs. "What are you doing?"
AND THAT'S A WRAP ON PART 4!!!!! Oh my goodness, did I enjoy writing this one! A lot of twists and turns and opportunities to just leave you all hanging, I'm not even joking. I haven't really written manipulation or character dynamics like Henry's and Terrence's before, and I think I did pretty well.
Again, check out @multiverse-madness and @azuri-the-imperfect-artist for their Terrence Suave AUs because they are both amazing artists and, honestly, do better with the character than me.😅
For real, all of you, thank you, thank you, thank you, so much for your patience with this one. Like I said in my update post, I have a lot going on in my personal life and just couldn't get in a good creative mindset to do this.
I know we didn't see a lot of Charles this time around, but that's gonna change in Part 5😈
ANYWAY, thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed, and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!
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rixxy8173571m3w1p3 · 5 years
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Out Of The Woods (3/?)
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This multi chap fic has been one that I've wanted to write for a while. I'm hoping to connect a few loose ends, since my series is getting closer to the end. Don't worry, I still got a couple of fics left in me. I'd love to thank @xerxezra whose conversations with me are always inspirational. I'd also like to thank @dorkydisappointment whose writing got my creative juice flowing and @hoodoo12 who continues to inspire me all the time. Please check out the wonderful art done by @ravenousscorpian for two scenes out of the second chapter of this fic (Her art found here)
References to the woman in Ricks journal is from my fic What You Found Amongst The Pages. I know, that was shameless self promotion. There are a lot of questions that I wanted to answer in you'd chapter, but for the sake of editing had to put it in the next. I'll work on it right as soon as this is posted. Thanks for everyone's continued support. 😘😘😘😘😘😘
If you haven't read part 1 or part2, then heres a link (Read Chapter 1, Chapter 2)
In this fic the reader tries to uncover the mystery of the artist behind Zeta-7s portrait.
___________________________
Chapter 3: Dare Not Say That Man Forgets Sooner
Whatever redeeming qualities the room held in the previous happy hours were gone, and now even the remnant, lingering daydreams were falling away. With every hour you comprehended the severity of your assumptions and what the consequences were if you decided that enough was enough. Honestly, you didn't want to lose him because Zeta-7 was the light of your life; he expanded your universe and had helped you become a better person, but you could still carry on if you needed to. You had the means, your work, and an ever growing list of books to read, but was it enough, now that you had gotten a taste of the good life? Probably not.
Nothing made sense anymore.
Concerning the current situation, and all which led up to it; if you considered everything which included your existence, life till now, and all he had ever done, then there was no mistaking that he loved you; or had; at least thought he did, but it didn't change the truth of the matter; you hadn't been the first. A few hours had given you time to weep until you thought you had no tears left to cry, but there was still a thick fog over your thoughts and rationality; any shift of emotion being too much to bear. You curled into yourself, aching, hoping you'd disappear, but it didn't work; you were still here; stuck. Being at a disadvantage, not knowing how to get home and neither having a way to get there if you could was frustrating.
Who knows how long you'd been down here, despairing, wallowing in memories and dust, but you were tired, thirsty, and knew that if you didn't move he'd have trouble finding you, and yet you didn't care; let him find you; let him work for it. Though, how would that make it any better? All it would do is succeed in upsetting him before you knew all the facts. You hated this. Father always said hate was a strong word that shouldn't be taken for granted; you rarely had reason to feel as such, but the more you gleaned from those photos and the more proof you found of her presence about the place made you feel hateful and bitter.
Thinking of her smiling at him, receiving every bit of his loving-kindness and inviting demeanor animated by unaffected good-will; his general countenance and becoming familiar with a fresher-faced creature of your dreams; holding him; touching him; loving him. Oh God no, you thought, groaning into a handmade pillow. What was worse was that you couldn't dissuade the thought of her mysterious silhouette sneaking up behind you, plunging a knife into your already fragile identity, and taking back what was hers. Your doubt feeding these ugly horrors which were hybrids of nightmares and daydreams.
Though during a brief moment of clarity, you had come to a conclusion which hardly alleviated these feelings, but we're true; it wasn't your fault. Yes, it had been your choice to accept him and be in a proper relationship with someone with an ambiguous past, and yes you did snoop around a little, but you didn't know how much he'd been hiding or searching for someone like her and had settled on silly, stupid you. Yet, no matter how much you thought about it, why chase a vision of the past and put so much effort in the present? There must've been more to this; there had to be.
Manifested, unstinted kindness and consideration and love in his form didn't happen out of the blue, it was nurtured and conditioned. Had it been her influence which made you knew? Who knows, but you had been fortunate to have had an opportunity to associate let alone form a romantic attachment, but that would soon pass away once you confronted him. Right? After a little while longer, when your heart was finally beginning to slow and thought you'd be able to catch your breath, you heard him walking about upstairs; calling and knocking.
Rick was home and you turned over on the couch and covered your ears so you wouldn't hear him; you weren't ready to deal with this; you didn't want to deal with this. In your heart of hearts, you wanted to go home, to the past, back to when there were no problems and it was just you, dad, and your dreams. If only he was still around so that he could tell you that everything was alright and it was all just a bad dream and that he could fix it, but you couldn't; only in a dream, you could. Dad always knew what was best, but you were old enough to decide for yourself now.
Did this mean you wish you never knew Rick? No, but you wished that you would've never known about all this; about her; that you could've lived in ignorance. Oh, the sweet, sweet bliss of ignorance, how wonderful it had been while it lasted. Even when his warm laughter echoed down the stairway, having found you, ready, eager and excitable to be near you, you didn't answer. You knew you weren't in the state of mind to say anything nice, that despite it all he wasn't a bad person. Yet, the moment that hand of his touched your shoulder, you hissed. “Don't touch me.”
He gasped, stunned by this uncharacteristic aggression. Maybe you weren't the nice girl he thought you were after all; especially if the rustling of his clothes alone made you angry enough to dig your nails into the couch cushions. Zeta-7 waited for a few moments, ruminating on what would be the best course of action before he knelt down to be at your level and wondered. “What's wrong? Are y-y-you hurt? Is th-there anything I can do?”
Swallowing back a sob, you silently counted to ten then answered in a listless tone. “I don't know if you can. You've… you've been hiding stuff from me.”
“Huh, I-I have? What have I…”
“Don't try to deny it.”
Pushing yourself up, you rubbed your swollen eyes and chanced a look at him; your sight fuzzy as tears threatened to fall but thankfully didn't. The alarm in his widened eyes at the state of your runny nose, and tear-stained cheeks made him instinctively reach out to wipe your tears away, but you pushed that familiar, loving hand away. “M-mi corazón?”
Instead of answering as you usually would, you pulled out the well-loved copy of Persuasion from behind a pillow, took a deep breath and dropped it on his lap. “I found it while I was looking for something to read.”
“Oh geez.”
“And can you believe I found more than I bargained for.”
You two sat in silence for what felt like hours as he stared at it, and when he gathered the courage to look inside, the lines about his brow and mouth deepened; another sign that it was true. When he finally interrupted the silence, he confessed regretfully. “I-I was going to tell you.”
“But you didn't. There's a lot of things that I understand are none of my business, but this….I think is a good time to know. If you care about me at all, then read what you wrote.”
“But it's - it's not what you think.”
“Then there's nothing be afraid of. Go on then, read it.”
Visibly swallowing, his shaky hands held it open and he stuttered. “I-I-I thought of you today as I left th-the milky way, on my way t-to a classified location. I-I wish you were here so I could show you the beauty that exists across the universe, but knowing our limitations I can only send you this wonderful novel that I found when I was exploring a-a bookstore located on one of Saturn's moons. I-I know it can be hard to believe that Miss Jane Austen's works can reach the furthest depths of-of space, but that can be blamed on a certain Gallifreyan and his little blue box. I can't wait to hear what y-y-you think of it. Till next time my dear. With love, from Rick.”
“Don't forget the photos.”
Setting down the book, he glanced at the discarded photos, sagging a little after each one, gauging your reaction after he finished studying them. Rick was a smart man, he knew well enough that he messed up and how compromising those photos were. “It's not - I was only writing as ugh - as a friend.” He began, wringing his hands as he went on. “Y-y-y-y-you know I don't have that many.”
Which was true. “Really? So what did she do for you? Was she special?”
“She - she made me a little less lonely. That in itself was something I w-was grateful for.”
Your nails bit into your palms and that ever familiar ache bloomed across your chest; his answer birthing more questions than you were willing to ask. He offered you a Werther's original to placate you which you accepted; it's wrapper similar to the one in the painting. As ever he waited for you to answer, and the longer he waited, the more he sagged; his eyes pleading, hoping, wishing that he could know whatever hurt clouded your heart and wanted to fix it. “I want to believe you, I really do,” you admitted, which made him hopeful, though only for you to crush it with this. “but I'm tired of walking on eggshells. Tell me, what did you want from me when you had someone like her? Seems as though she was a good match for you. She was a creative who could paint, loved flowers, and butterflies among other things I imagine.”
“Sh-she did.”
You bit the inside of your cheek in an attempt to hold back the surge of feelings which were a result of his sincerity. Damn it. You could do this……possibly. “See?” you said cooly, focusing your gaze on your naked feet. “I knew she was special considering you sent her a book that had belonged to the Doctor. She also knew about your travels, which meant you trusted her and you hardly trust anyone. The point I'm getting at is that I want to know what I am to you. So, am I a knockoff or a rebound? Because we both know there's nothing like the real thing.”
“N-n-no, not at all. You mean th-the world to me and I-I love you. I have only loved you. ”
“But she loved you, didn't she? And you loved her. I can't ignore that. If she's anything like me, then what are we doing together Ricardo? Why aren't you with her? I…. I thought we understood each other but then I found proof that I was only second best. I can't do it, I can't compete with a shadow, and I'm not going to try. I don't have it in me.”
“I-I-I-I never expected you to. Por favor mi amor de m-mi vida, if you'll let me explain, I'll tell you whatever you want. I - I don't want to lose you. Please, honest t-t-to God, I don't. I can't.”
“Hmm, I didn't know you were a praying man.”
“When you're about t-t-to lose your universe, I don't think there are th-that many options. I can't - oh please I can't lose you. Not again.”
You felt your resolve breaking. You wanted to fall into his arms and melt into the comfort of them; for you both to comfort each other and let it all go because it probably was just a big misunderstanding; him being the best thing that ever happened to you, but not yet. Maybe he was a praying man after all, and if God was merciful, then why wouldn't you be? Rick certainly would. For Zeta-7, you could be. He'd definitely given you enough chances.
“Fine.” you decided, helping him up as you stood, but through this brief touch he almost misunderstood, thinking that the worst was over and gave your hand a squeeze; his warm smile weakening your resolve even further. Maybe Ricks were masters at mind games after all. And you knew it wouldn't take much for him to make you forget how unhappy you were, and like magic, show you something wonderful and dazzling, but you didn't want to be charmed; you wanted the truth. You bit the flesh inside of your cheeks hard enough for you to bleed, and despite relishing the warmth which permeated your chilled hands, you let go. “I'm……I'm not over it yet.”
TBC
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