#this was sooo rushed but i wouldn't have made a piece to this scale otherwise so i'm happy about it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

boneswriteswords · 6 years

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The angsty idea about the reader over hearing how their turtle is attaracted to April is soooo sooo sooo good! If you take requests and it wouldn't be too much of a burden, could I request that for Mikey?!??

A/N: I finally got around to doing this. I’m not 100% happy with it but I’m never 100% happy with anything I write so whatever. Lol

Its also unbeta’d like all my other stuff.

Enjoy.

Its almost 2500 words of angst tho so you might not.

You felt like you couldn’t breathe, the unexpected rush ofpain tasted like tinfoil, razorblade sharp on your tongue.

It had been a good day, the world bathed in shades of paleyellow. You were working at a job that you loved and that paid well. You had paidoff one of your student loans in full, dramatically decreasing your debt. Yoursupervisor had surprised you with donuts and an extra week of paid vacation as a thank-you for all the extra hours you put in tohelp her finish a major product. You got to pet three dogs. You were even ableto make progress in your language lesson.

It had been a good day.

‘And it’s about to get better,’ you had thought as you madeyour way down one of the tunnels the turtles used when they were going topside.You had been so excited to see your boyfriend.

Mikey is everything you could ever want. He brought youbalance, helped you find and maintain a peace in yourself that you hadn’trealized was missing until he came along. He was adventure where you werecaution. He was vibrant where you were subtle. He was affectionate where youwere reserved. He kept you secure, in yourself and in your life and never madefun of you for the way you experienced the world.

He is the golden glow that scatters over the city as the sunsets, bouncing off the high windows and reflecting off the glass. You had neverthought you’d be loved so intensely by another person before him.

At least, you had thought he loved you.

Now, you weren’t so sure.

Not after this.

Not after you had heard him say that he desired April. Thathe’d drop to her feet and serenade her on her obvious beauty, her wit, herlaugh and her smile. That his dramatic declarations of affection extended toher in a room you had thought was only for you and him.

But he wouldn’t.

Because he had you.

And he wouldn’t do that to you.

Lurking just behind the entry way, you felt your body breakdown and put itself together again. Cells combusted and reformed. Synapsesfired in all different directions, unsure of what to process and where to sendwhat. Pink turned to purple turned to grey. Shaky legs managed to keep youupright but only just.

Fuck.

It had been too good to be true.

Tears slipped out without meaning to. You quickly wiped themaway and breathed, contemplating turning around and walking away beforediscarding that idea. They were expecting you. They would come looking for youif you didn’t show up, expecting the worst.

You’d have to tell him what you heard. You’d have to hear itagain but this time, it would be to your face.

A coldness blanketed you like anill-fitting suit. A new skin molded from copper and stitched with the smell ofsulfur. A safety net to catch all the little broken pieces of yourself as youchip and crack under the pressure.

You took another deep breath and walked into the lair,greeting everyone with a big smile stretched painfully across your cheeks. Yourstomach lurched. It felt wrong.

“Baby! You’re here!” Mikey exclaimed, leaping over furniturewith his usual brand of puppy-like excitement. Normally, you’d be flattered athis attentions, the way that he disregards obstacles in his path to get to you.No one had ever been that excited to see you before.

But you weren’t this time. It felt like an exaggeration, anovercompensation. It smelt like sickness.

When he reached you, you let him pull you close and kissyou.

It tasted like a lie, black and gritty. Bile gathered in theback of your throat and you swallowed to keep it down as he pulled away,concern written in the furrow of his brow.

“You okay angel? Something the matter?” he asked softly,stepping away to rub his hands down your arms before pulling you close again.He pressed his beak to the side of your face, leaving little pecking kisses ashe did. Despite the close proximity, his warmth felt distant, a ghost of atouch on your skin.

“I just had a rough day Mikey,” you muttered back, givinghim a small smile. You pulled his face away from yours, reaching a hand tostroke the scaled skin of his cheek, lips quirking as he nuzzled into yourtouch. He still smelt like summer and electricity and you were relieved thatsomething remained the same. “I’ll be okay.”

He never pushed when you didn’t want to talk and you weregrateful for it. He knew that you needed to process things bit by bit beforeyou could talk about them, especially if they were stressful oroverwhelming.

“Anything we can do to help?” Leo asked, his voice silver,like moonlight that bounces off water in the dark.

You shook your head no, “It was just a bad day. Happens tous all. I’ll be fine. It wasn’t all bad. I met someone with beautiful colorstoday.”

“Is that so Angelcakes?” Mikey asked, a playful grin on hisface as he picked you up, “Were the colors prettier than mine?” He nuzzled hisface into your neck, a big smile on his face as you looped your legs around himas much as you could.

“Um…”

Raph snorted from his perch on the couch, “Don’t ask herthat. She doesn’t have the heart to tell you your colors are ugly as shit.”

Mikey gasped dramatically, clutching you further to hischest, “You take that back! My colors are beautiful. You’re just mad cuz yourtexture is puke! Isn’t that right baby? Raph is the texture of puke and smellof crusty unwashed ball sacs.”

An argument about colors and numbers and textures ensuedbetween the brothers, Leo and Donnie joining in when attempts to stop it wheremet with mean comments about their own visual representations, giving you areprieve from their concerned stares. You climbed off Mikey while he wasotherwise distracted and sat next to Splinter on his meditation mat, foldingyour legs under you.

“Are you alright my dear?” Splinter whispered, eyes focusedon his sons. His hand grasped one of yours, giving it a little squeeze and yourealized two things. Splinter had been paying attention to his sons’conversation and he knew your ‘bad day’ had everything to do with it.

“Not really Master Splinter.” Lips twitched into a sadlittle grin as you squeezed his hand back. “Not right now.”

Before he could say anything else, you were ripped off themat and back into strong green arms, pressed flat against a wide, muscledplastron. Mikey’s face beamed down at you, the tang on your tongue gettingstronger the longer you looked at him.

“Tell them angel. Tell them my colors are beautiful,” he breathed,all golden light and reflective shimmer and the breaths right before you blowon a dandelion.

You swallowed thickly, voice dropping to a whisper “Yeah.I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.”

If circumstances were different, you would have believedthat he had actually swooned, knees locking to keep you both upright. Youwould have believed the sheer force of emotion that appeared on his face wasreal and that he loved you the way you loved him. You would have believed thatnothing could ever be wrong between you and him, that you had found the love ofyour life.

But you didn’t.

“Oh come on! Of course she’s gonna say that. She loves ya!”Raph argued, hands thrown up in your direction, “I want a new judge!”

Another argument broke out but instead of letting you go,Mikey kept you close so you laid your head on his shoulder, closedyour eyes, and counted down the minutes until you could go home.

—–

You didn’t know what to do so you stayed late at your office everynight under the guise of being overloaded at work to figure it out. You knew you were feeling insecure, lumpy andchunky and off-white, and you knew you could bring it up and actually talk toMikey about it and he would understand.

But you also couldn’t. You didn’t want to break up with him.He was the only one who didn’t think you were weird when you said musicsometimes felt like there were guitars strings tied on your spine and someone’splaying them, the melodies vibrating through every bone in your body. Or whenyou said Raph’s laughter smelt like cinnamon. Or when you baked lemon squaresbecause Donnie asked you to describe his voice.

You didn’t want to break up but you couldn’t visualize aconversation that didn’t end up in a break-up.

You didn’t want to lose him but you had to considerthat….maybe it was inevitable.

Maybe he wasn’t yours anymore.

Maybe, the deep dark purple part of you whispered, he wasn’teven yours to begin with. Who’s to say that you were the one he picked insteadof just being the one who said yes.

The razor sharp tang was heavy on your tongue.

———–

April took you out for coffee the Saturday morning afteryour week long escape. Despite the circumstances, she was one of your favoritepeople, all vanilla scented lipgloss and pink silk with flashes of lighteningbugs behind it. Incredibly beautiful to look at and be around.

You couldn’t hate her.

“So, how are things? I haven’t seen you in a week,” shesaid, smile sweet as she poked her straw through her latte. She was dressed inher signature yellow jacket and a basic tank top with her hair up in a messybun but still somehow looked put together. She was always put together.

You recalled wearing a similar outfit a few days ago.Shopping was something you and April liked to do together because your styleswere similar. You liked a lot of the same things, especially when it came tofabric textures, so the two of you often went perusing in the other’s closetwhen looking to put a new look together.

The dark purple part of you reminded you that she was theone Mikey really loved, that he asked you out because you dressed similar,walked similar, had similar interests, did similar things in your free time.Always similar. Not quite but good enough.

“Pretty good,” you responded, only a partial lie, “I love my job. The people are great. The clients are great. I’m never bored. It’sfantastic.”

“Good. I’m glad. You deserve to have a good workplace,” shetook a sip of her latte, “Mikey mentioned that you had a bad day last week butyou didn’t say what it was about. Are you ok?”

You took a sip of your own drink, a new holiday drink thecoffee shop was promoting and immediately decided it tasted too puce for yourliking.

“Yeah. I was just overwhelmed. I had met a lot of new peopleand it was bit overwhelming,” you shrugged, hoping that your lie wasbelievable. You gestured to your outfit, an old sweatpants and hoodie, “I may notlook it but I feel better.”

She nodded sympathetically, smile widening, and you couldsee how Mikey fell in love with her, “Well, I’m glad you feel better. Does thatmean you’re coming to movie night tonight?”

Fuck.

You forgot about movie night.

“Of course I am.”

Double fuck.

“Great! Mikey will be so excited. He misses you so much.”

“I miss him too.”

——-

April was already at the lair when you dropped in, some oddnumber of hours later, arriving a tad too late for it to be normal. April hadwalked you back to your apartment before heading to work after coffee, ramblingabout what had happened that week as far as Foot activity and crimes thathappened in the area while you thought about what to do about this entiresituation.

You had changed quickly into an over-sized shirt and adifferent pair of sweatpants, not really bothering to put an outfit together.There was no reason for you to put an effort into looking nice. You didn’t wantto look like April.

Distance. You needed to put a tangible, aesthetic distancebetween you and April. No wearing the same clothes. No styling the same way. Nodoing makeup like she does. No connection between you and her.

You weren’t surprised to see Mikey wrapped up inconversation with her, sitting as close as he does when he sits with you,breathing her air the same way he breathes yours but it still fucking hurt.

He looked so happy to be in her space, loud and boisterousand excited.

You knew what you had to do.

“Hey Mikey,” you whispered, trying to catch his attentionwithout seeming too rude for interrupting, “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

“Baby! When did youget here? You’re late! Why are you late? You’re never late! Are you ok? Did youget hurt on the way here? Was it Foot ninja? Cuz I thought we cleared them outof the area but if not and they hurt you, they’re gonna pay. I swear angelcakes–“ you cut him off, the influx of questions causing your chest to tighten.

“Too much Mikey.”

His mouth snapped shut and he pulled you out of the room asyou ran through one of your breathing exercises, muttering the colors in theFibonacci sequence. He was watching you closely, his stupidly blue eyes floodedwith regret and locked on your face as you made your way through the firstfifteen numbers.

“I’m sorry honey,” he mouthed as you slowed in yourcounting, breathing a bit easier and steady.

Calmer, you met his gaze and for a moment, you thought aboutthe world you experienced with him. All the new colors and sensations andtextures. The things you had never felt before and how they explodedbeautifully inside you. You had never known that love tasted like coconut orthe sensation of looking forward to seeing someone was a splattering of rainbowcolors across a white background.

“What’s up baby? What’s wrong?”

You wondered if you’d ever experience those things again.

“Its over Mikey.”

The words tasted grey, shadows over paper.

——

There you have it. Angst. Poorly written angst. I’m sorry.

Also let me know what you thought of the reader I used.

#mikey #michelangelo #angst #angst prompt #story #My writing #ask #mun responds #mun is sorry

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