#this whole extended family has the exact same taste in women prove me wrong

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

One night at the Hotel, they're scrolling through HellFlix and Vaggie suddenly gasps.

Vaggie: NO FUCKING WAY! It's finally on here!

Charlie: What? You find a show you like?

Vaggie: Not just "like", this is the best show EVER! I've wanted to binge it with you for years!

Charlie: Oh, neat! So, what show is it? What's it about?

Vaggie: I got three words for you, babe. Xena. Warrior. Princess!

SHE WILL RULE IN HELL AT LAST! HER TV SHOW SHALL REIGN SUPREME IN THE HEARTS OF THE MOST DANGEROUS BEINGS IN HELL!!!!! there is just ONE worrying part to that though....

Charlie: "Wait, she kills the king of hell?"

Vaggie: "It's not a historically accurate show babe don't worry about it."

Charlie: "Still... now I'm picturing her murdering my dad. Not sure how to feel about it..."

Lucifer: (intensely eating popcorn behind them) "Well I'd feel GREAT about it!"

Charlie: "Wh- Dad!?"

Lucifer: "It would be an honor."

Charlie: "To be KILLED by her???"

Lucifer: "Of course! Look at her snarling war face! Look at her THIGHS-"

Charlie: "DAD!!!!!"

Vaggie: (sighing) "Wish I was king of hell so she'd murder me..."

Lucifer: "Poor Maggie." (pats her) "There there, maybe Xena- or Gabrielle might be better seeing as you've been cheering every time she comes on screen- maybe they'd agree to murder the princess consort of hell too?"

Vaggie: "I uhhhh- s-sir, me and Charlie, we're not-"

Lucifer: "Right yes of course! Future princess consort."

Vaggie: "Ffffffuture-?"

Charlie: "DAD HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT ABOUT XENA!? YOU ARE STILL MARRIED TO MOM!"

Lucifer: "Ohhh Char-Char.... Lilith would be FIRST in line for death at the hands of this warrior princess lady and her gal pal. Especially if they used those amazing thighs of theirs to-"

Vaggie: "Sir, please don't finish that sentence and ruin the best show in all creation for my girlfriend by adding more family trauma."

Lucifer: "Whoops! Gosh am I saying too much now? Oh golly, my bad my bad, ha ha ha!"

Charlie: "...."

Vaggie: "Sweetie? Wanna switch the show off for a while?"

Charlie: "....actually, Vaggie..."

Vaggie: "?"

Charlie: "... D'you think we could get a Xena costume in your size?"

Lucifer: (jaw drops)

Vaggie: "Hhhhh... I- yeah, probably? I mean.... this is hell, and her outfit is mostly leather, so...."

Charlie: "Would you wanna wearrrrr it~?"

Lucifer: (drops popcorn)

Vaggie: "Do you even have to ask?"

Charlie: "Mmmm heheh- but I like setting a good example, and you know I loooove it when people ask~"

-THUD-

Charlie: "ohshitballsdickfuck- DAD-"

Vaggie: "Hostia!" 

Lucifer: "IM FINE! AHAHAHA"

Charlie: "Dad- dad im so SORRY i forgot you were here-!"

Lucifer: "NO NO I HEARD NOTHING AND AM A-O-KAYYY!!!!"

Charlie: "You fell face first onto your own cane! You're BLEEDING!"

Lucifer: "Everything is fine! Once I've been sick into this bag of popcorn i will be extra specially FINE and our little impromptu family tv night together is going SO SPLENDEDLY WELL, isn't it Maggie!?"

Vaggie: "Ajo y agua..."

Charlie: "VAGGIE HELP- THE BLOOD??"

Vaggie: (sighing) (smiling) (standing up)

Vaggie: "...I'll go get the first aid kit."

-silly bonus-

Niffty: (from under couch) "I'll trade you the first aid kit for a vile of his bloooooood~~"

Charlie, Vaggie, Lucifer: (screaming and jumping on the couch and clinging to each other in terror)

Niffty: "Don't worry!" (giggles) "It's just for my Collection~"

Charlie, Vaggie, Lucifer: (screaming LOUDER)

#hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #chaggie #lucifer morningstar #nifty hazbin hotel #incorrect quotes #this whole extended family has the exact same taste in women prove me wrong #xena wrecking people even in hell and even in another tv show #<- she has the range #family night is suffering #anon look what happened #this was stupid fun thank u #<3