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wordfighter · 7 years

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All I want for Christmas is you

Summary: Lalli hasn't heard from Emil for three years, but then the whole crew gets invited to Siv and Torbjörn's place to celebrate yule. Lalli's only wish is to meet Emil again. Type: Short story/fanfiction Words: 1770 Category: Stand Still Stay Silent Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort Rating: Teen Characters: Lalli & Emil Warnings: Loneliness, burnmarks, christmas gifts

Read it here or at ff.net

Lalli couldn't sleep. As a night scout he was pretty much nocturnal, but that wasn't the only reason he was unable to fall asleep this night. Tomorrow was yule and for the first time in years he would meet the people he had travelled into the Silent World with. He, Onni and Tuuri had arrived the day before, found their hotel and pretty much gone to sleep right away. Lalli could almost hear the two sleeping in the other room.

Lalli rolled onto his back, looked at the ceiling. The paint was exfoliating in places and the room looked pretty worn, but they hadn't had much to choose from.Everyone in the whole world seemed to have decided to celebrate yule in Mora this year.

Eight years, Lalli thought, so much has changed since then.

Lalli still worked as a night scout, his life hadn't changed much. He had let his hair grow out, kept it in a pony tail. Onni told him he looked more and more like their grandmother for every day, Lalli wasn't sure if it was good or bad.

Onni on the other hand, he had taken a more offensive role in the military, he had found a wife, he had gotten two kids. Twins. Lalli wrinkled his nose when he thought of them. He didn't like them. Tuuri told him he had to get used to it. She was expecting as well. Lalli didn't know who the father was and Tuuri didn't care to tell him.

Reynir still showed up in his sanctuary from time to time, but had learned to stay out until he was invited. In return Lalli had started inviting him more and more often. Reynir had told him about the academy in Iceland, had worked in the Norwegian army for a year and then moved back to the farm.

Lalli didn't know what Sigrun and Mikkel had been up to, he hadn't heard anything from them. Emil on the other hand... They had kept in touch a little, Emil had sent him so many letters, Lalli had answered a few of them. He had gone back to the cleansers, had gotten promoted, gotten fired, gotten hired again and gotten promoted once more. Then, three years ago, the letters had stopped coming. Lalli had sent almost a hundred letters the first few months, trying to get in touch with him again, and after a while gotten a single answer.

Forget me.

Lalli couldn't forget. Emil had been the first person who tried to befriend him on his terms, he couldn't just let that go. But there was little he could do from Finland and in the end they had fallen out of touch. And then, one month ago, Tuuri had told him they were going to Sweden for yule, to meet up with the old crew.

”Will Emil be there?” ”I... uh... I don't know. I guess so, since Torbjörn and Siv is arranging it.”

Tuuri had showed him on a map where they were supposed to go the next day and he had memorized the map, just like he always did. He looked at the watch, kicked off his cover and sat up. Today was the first day since forever he'd get to see Emil.

He got dressed, Tuuri had picked out his clothes and he stared in disbelief at the antlers she wanted him to wear. He let out a sigh and put them on, before leaving the room. The receptionist wished him a merry yule and he muttered a thank you before heading out in the freezing air. It was snowing and he almost smiled, almost choked. Emil enjoyed snow, although he enjoyed building giant bonfires to melt it even more.

The walk was short and he quietly knocked on the door, not expecting anyone to open and was surprised when it did. Siv looked older, her hair graying, and she looked confused at him. After a couple of seconds her face lit up, Lalli noticed it being more relaxed than it had been eight years ago.

”Merry yule, Lalli. You're here early.”

”I can go again.”

”Where?”

Lalli shrugged and Siv smiled, stepped aside to let him in. He kicked off his shoes and she led him into the living room. She gestured towards the sofa, but he sank down in a corner instead, looked around the room. It was filled with decorations, some that seemed as old as time and some that seemed to have been made recently. Siv looked at him.

”The others won't be here for at least six hours, is that okay?”

Lalli nodded, blushed and looked at her.

”You don't mind?”

”I don't mind. I won't even ask why. Emil's not here though.”

”He's coming?”

Hope flared up in Lalli's chest and he was certain Siv could see it in his face.

”He said he'd try.”

The hope went out just as quick as it had flared up and Lalli nodded.

”Thanks.”

Siv sat down in the sofa, picked up a book and Lalli looked at her, listened to the sounds of the building. It was calmer than the last time he had been there, somehow older. At seven people started moving in the house. Three people ran into the living room and Lalli straightened up, looked at the oldest of the three.

He looked just like Emil had done the last time Lalli saw him. Almost shoulder lenght, golden hair, well cared for. A little pudgy, but not in a bad way, more in a way that suited him. The person turned towards him and Lalli sank back down. The eyes weren't right. Emil's eyes was softer, a lighter shade of blue.

”I didn't think anyone would be here already. You're one of the Finns, right?”

Lalli nodded and the boy smiled.

”Lalli, right? Cousin Emil used to talk so much about you.”

Used to. Lalli looked away. Maybe Emil had forgotten him, done what Lalli could not.

”No opening the gifts yet”, Siv called from the kitchen and the the teenagers stopped, looked at each other and darted to the kitchen. Lalli stayed in the living room. At nine Siv came back out and put a bowl of porrige next to him, but he ignored it. She asked if he wanted something else, but he shook his head and she returned to her family. The Three Terrors, all a lot calmer now than they had been eight years ago, returned to the living room to play games while Siv and Torbjörn finished preparing for the party.

At eleven Tuuri and Onni arrived. Lalli listened as they talked with Siv and Torbjörn, listened as Onni and The Terrible Threesome teased each other, heard Onni telling the others that Reynir would be unable to come. Iceland had increased security again. Lalli didn't care, it wasn't Reynir he was hoping to meet. An hour later Sigrun and Mikkel arrived as well, both looking a lot older than Lalli thought they would.

Sigrun's red hair was starting to turn white, she had scars on her face and her legs from battles. Mikkel's face was wrinkly, tired, and he limped, supported himself with a cane as he walked. Both of them tried to talk to Lalli, but he couldn't focus on the the conversations, his eyes and ears constantly focusing on the door. The pile with presents grew beside him and Tuuri tried to get him to open them, but he couldn't.

”Are you in one of your moods again? I thought you had grown out of them.”

Lalli couldn't answer. She left his side again, he heard her talk to Mikkel about the baby that was due in a month. She looked happy talking about it, pulled her fingers through her hair, patted her stomach. Mikkel smiled during the conversation, but his eyes clouded over slightly. Lalli looked curiously at the older man, but didn't move, didn't say anything. At six Mikkel and Sigrun left again, both invited to another party with some of Mikkel's old colleagues. Tuuri and Onni stayed, ate together with the others and Lalli clenched his hands, looked at the floor.

He wasn't coming. Maybe he had heard that Lalli would be there, maybe that's why he stayed away.

”Hey.”

A bright red box came into Lalli's view and he looked up from the floor. He was thinner, his hair longer and half of his face was pink, wrinkles, damaged, and his eyes uncertain, soft. Lalli would recognise those eyes anywhere.

”Hey...”

He accepted the box, put it together with the other unopened gifts. Emil's hand was still stretched out towards him and Lalli noticed that it was as burned as his face. Lalli accepted the hand, saw Emil's face scrunch up as he pulled Lalli to his feet. Lalli felt the antlers slip off his head but didn't care since Emil's hand didn't let go of his, and he lifted his other hand, let it trace along Emil's damaged cheek.

”Your face...”

”I got caught in a fire.”

Emil looked away and Lalli pulled his fingers through Emil's hair. Emil smiled sadly.

”It hides my face easier like this.”

”I missed you. I couldn't forget you.”

Emil's hand grabbed Lalli's, pulled it down, squeezed it.

”I didn't want anyone to see me like this.”

”I don't care.”

Emil looked towards the ceiling, at the wall above Lalli.

”Mistletoe”, he whispered and Lalli smiled slightly.

”Yeah...”

Emil let go of Lalli's hands, took a step forward and Lalli instinctively took a step back but lifted his hands, rested them on Emil's back, pulled him closer. Emil's fingers buried into Lalli's hair and Lalli lifted one of his hands, buried it in Emil's golden locks, felt one of Emil's hands trace his back. Warm breath hit Lalli's lips, soft lips connected to his and Lalli's knees felt weak.

Too soon Emil pulled away, his face red. Lalli let go of him, looked at his feet, breathed heavily and then Emil pulled him closer again, leaned his forehead against Lalli's.

”I missed you.”

”I missed you too. Did you really think I could forget?”

”I hoped you would. Can you forgive my selfishness?”

Lalli grabbed his cheek, placed a quick kiss on his lips.

”There's nothing to forgive. Just don't do it again.”

”I won't.”

Emil sat down on the floor and Lalli sank down next to him, picked up the red box and leaned against Emil's shoulder.

”I didn't get anything for you...”

Emil placed a kiss on Lalli's head, wrapped an arm around you.

”Seeing you was the only gift I wanted.”

#english #fanfic #sssscomic #genre: angst #genre: hurt/comfort #rating: teen #character: lalli hotakainen #character: emil västerström #character: tuuri hotakainen #character: onni hotakainen #character: siv västerström #character: mikkel madsen #character: sigrun eide #challenge: song challenge

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wordfighter · 7 years

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All around the world, chapter 12

Summary: It has been ten years since Emil saw his friends and he decides to take a vacation to see them. Type: fanfiction/chapter story Words: 1156 Category: Stand Still Stay Silent Genre: Friendship, hurt/comfort Rating: Teen Characters: Lalli, Emil Warnings: A horse, deep conversation

Read it here or at ff.net

”I assume you have ridden a horse before”, Mikkel said as he helped Emil onto the horse's back.

Lalli watched them from a safe distance, but Emil waved to get him to come closer. Lalli crossed his arms over his chest.

”I won't let you fall.”

Lalli took another step back. As much as he trusted Emil, he did not trust the beast currently carrying his friend. The horse did a turn around the pen and Emil patted her neck. Lalli didn't like how she strutted around with Emil. He also suspected that there would be a new animal in Emil's sanctuary after today. Emil gestured once more for Lalli to come closer, and he took a couple steps towards the pen, then stopped. Mikkel moved closer, but Emil told him to wait. Emil let the horse trot around the pen while waiting for Lalli to approach, the trot switched into gallop, and Lalli's eyes followed Emil as the horse ran around the pen. Emil's pony-tail was fluttering behind him and his coat was flapping in the wind and Lalli was pulled closer by the happiness the other exuded.

Emil pulled the horse to a halt when Lalli reached the pen and Lalli reached out a hand to let it smell him. The horse let out a neigh and Lalli pulled away again.

”She won't bite you”, Emil said.

Lalli carefully walked closer again. Emil positioned the horse close to the small ladder he had used to get onto the horse's back and Lalli climbed ontop of it, then took place behind Emil, placing his arms around Emil's waist. Mikkel opened the saddle bags and put some food in them, wrapped in a pair of blankets.

”You will probably not be able to go around the whole island in just one day, but there are a couple of inns in Nexø that can host horses as well. And if you reach Gudhjem you should stop by Egil. Tell him I sent you and he will give you room for the night. I know him and his family from my days in the army.”

Emil thanked him, asked if Lalli was ready and Lalli nodded, tightened his grip around Emil. He felt Emil tug at the reins and then the horse started walking. Lalli closed his eyes and buried his face in Emil's back. Emil didn't say anything to begin with, and Lalli started drifting off. After a while Emil nudged him and he blinked.

”mf.”

”If you're going to sleep we should switch places.”

”...not sleeping.”

”Close enough. What do you say?”

Lalli fell quiet, buried his face against Emil's back again.

”Okay”, he said after a while.

He slid down from the horse and Emil helped him back up again. Lalli tried to find a comfortable position and relaxed a little when Emil's arms surrounded him.

”You should try to stay awake, the landscape is beautiful.”

Lalli tried to turn around and glare at Emil, but the other was sitting too close for him to be able to, so Lalli settled for another 'mf'. Emil laughed, pulled at the rein again and the horse started walking again. From time to time Emil nudged Lalli, wanted him to look at something, but most of the time Lalli was allowed to sit half asleep in Emil's arms. They stopped in the middle of the day for lunch, then continued along the coast. Lalli kept his eyes on the ocean, just in case a sea beast would attack. Emil kept talking about what he saw, Lalli only listened with one ear. He wasn't very interested in the animals Emil's eyes fell on. He didn't hush the other though, not even when when Emil slipped into Swedish.

They reached Nexø at dinner time, found a hotell and got a room for themselves and left the horse in the hotel's stable. After dinner Emil wanted to see the town and Lalli followed along. While Rønne had a large harbour, Nexø had a wall towards the ocean. There were military barracks close to the wall, and a bakery as well as a grocery store in the civilian part of the town, but outside of that it was mostly small houses.

”Wonder what everyone here does”, Emil said.

Lalli shrugged, continued following Emil. They went back to the hotel after a couple of hours, Lalli noticed Emil yawning and finally saw the bags under his eyes.

”Did you sleep tonight?” he asked.

Emil blushed, looked away, but Lalli switched side to catch Emil's eyes again.

”You could have woken me.”

”I'm not gonna force you to miss sleep just because I had a nightmare.”

”We had this conversation home. Friends allow each other to help.”

Emil settled down on one of the beds and Lalli pulled up a chair, settled down and looked at Emil. Emil kept his eyes on his knees.

”I know, I'm sorry.”

Lalli lifted a hand, hesitated, then placed it on Emil's knee.

”Next time, tell me. We're friends, right?”

”We're friends. I'm sorry I didn't keep you up. I didn't remember the dream, it felt stupid to let it affect me like that.”

”Is not stupid.”

”It felt stupid.”

”If it was me, would I be stupid?”

Lalli waited, saw Emil tense up. After a minute Emil slowly shook his head. Lalli lifted Emil's face, forced the Swede to look at him.

”Please judge yourself like you judge me. Okay?”

Emil laughed.

”I'll try.”

Lalli let go of Emil again, settled down on the bed instead.

”Onni came. Sorry I left.”

”Maybe we should just tell him?”

Lalli shook his head, clenched his hands.

”He won't like it. Told you it's forbidden.”

”Oh, yeah, right. So-”

Lalli closed Emil's mouth before he could finish the apology. Emil gave a small laugh and Lalli let go again.

”Reynir also always apologized. You weren't like that.”

”I guess everything that happened changed me.”

”Sometimes you're different. In charge. Untouchable. But with me... Do I hurt you?”

Emil frowned, shook his head.

”Is that what you worry about? That you hurt me? Lalli...”

Emil shifted in the bed, turned towards Lalli, and Lalli looked at him.

”Lalli, you're my best friend. You're like... the only one I really feel relaxed with. I mean, I like the others as well, they're great, I'm happy to call them my friends, but what we have...”

Emil scratched his head and Lalli looked away.

”I... hrm... Do I sound like a love-sick puppy?”

”Wouldn't know”, Lalli answered and looked at Emil again. ”...But yes, you do.”

Lalli smiled, and Emil laughed, leaned against the wall. Lalli looked at him, tilted his head.

”Feel better? Really better?”

Emil nodded.

”Yeah, thanks. I'm glad you came along.”

Lalli was silent for a minute, before leaning against the wall as well.

”Me too”, he said, his eyes glued to the ceiling. ”I'm happy I came with you.”

#english #fanfic #sssscomic #genre: friendship #genre: hurt/comfort #rating: teen #character: emil västerström #character: lalli hotakainen #collection: all around the world #challenge: 100 ssss-fics

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